“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”
Whether you really want to view trust this way or not … you have to learn to embrace these two phrases:
– Leap of faith.
– Trial and error.
At some point you just have to accept these or will remain … well … untrusting of anyone and anything.
The truth is we trust shit every day. We trust people every day. Sometimes it is a conscious choice and sometimes it is simply non-conscious … kind of like breathing.
Trust someone to do their job.
Trust it to work.
Trust it to happen.
But inevitably our lives, in every day Life as well as in business, hinges upon the conscious choice aspect.
We stand there on the precipice of progress, i.e., moving forward, and either stand there frozen … or make the leap.
But because this is some conscious decision on our part as we stand at this precipice we start tearing apart the fabric of the entire choice trying to find which threads to trust and which not to trust.
I am not sure that is the best use of energy & time.
Because inevitably the only way you know for sure … the only way to find out … is … uhm … to trust them.
I know I am in the minority with regard to this following thought.
I believe trust, in and of itself, is a crumpled paper … imperfect.
I can inherently trust someone to do one thing … and completely distrust them to do another. Does that mean I trust that person or not trust that person? Or is it simply a reflection of the fact trust is imperfect in and of itself?
I do believe trust is sacred. But I also believe earning trust is a job of a lifetime earned over and over and over again. And maybe it is because of that I don’t really see how ‘lost trust can never be as strong again.”
Trust, to me, is only as strong as its current link in the chain.
And, maybe, that is why I like Hemingway’s quote.
The best way to find out of you trust someone is to trust them.
To be clear.
I am not naive.
I clearly understand that this attitude will mean some disappointment. But I would also suggest it offers a shitload of pleasant surprises.
Just as we double our griefs and halve our joys … we have a nasty habit of doubling our disappointments and halving our satisfactions.
And, maybe, because I have the attitude that I do I did exponential satisfaction in trusting someone and having the trust fulfilled versus the niggling disappointments when trust is not fulfilled.
And, maybe, I can live my life making the numerous leaps of faith … the continuous array of trial and errors … because I know that trust is imperfect, people are imperfect and, Life itself, is imperfect.
I know that being disappointed when giving trust and receiving a less than desired response sucks.
But I choose to focus n the times you give trust and you receive confirmation. It reminds you that more people deserve that leap of faith and … well … have some faith in them.
People who receive faith, with no reserve, can surprise you … because faith, when given without reserve, is a powerful gift to give someone.
I am not sure many of us think about HOW we give our trust and the repercussion of how we do it. Because it is often a leap of faith we inch our way into it with whomever we are giving it to … ‘I am trusting you” … “I want you to know how big a deal this is for me” … well … caveat after caveat after caveat.
It is kind of like saying “I am going to trust you … but I don’t really …” not really the most ringing endorsement or encouragement you can give someone before you send them off toward the task you want to have done.
Maybe, just maybe, we should assume some responsibility for whether the person we give our trust to actually disappoints or satisfies.
Maybe we should think we are more likely to get 100% if we give an unequivocal 100%.
The next time you are thinking about holding back your trust … maybe … well … just think about leaping. Go for it. No holding back and no hesitancy … just gather yourself and jump.
Sometimes you will crash … but sometimes you will fly.