stay the course direction path compass

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Please remember:

Amazing takes time.

 

And legendary

Takes patience.

 

—–

Robin Sharma

 

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“The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

Still round the corner there may wait,

A new road or a secret gate.”

 

 

Tolkein

 

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So.

 

I just spoke with one of my favorite people, a good friend, who as I hung up the candles path adventphone I thought “he is a multiple night success.”

 

 

Oh.

 

We hear a lot about overnight successes … probably too much. Too much <and misguided> because it is more likely that any successful person you know is a … well … multiple night success.

 

Now.

 

I am going to talk about a different type of multiple night here. Most times we talk about people who have toiled in one industry, honing their expertise until some point where they hit a tipping point and a window of opportunity at the exact time. Let’s call this version the ‘axis mundi’ of a hard worker.

 

The version I am speaking of today is more of a ‘not all who wander are lost’ type exploration of some roads … following each with eager feet hoping it would at some point join a ‘larger way.’ This version is more about spending nights searching for “what is it I am meant to do.”

 

That was my friend.

 

I say it that way because I may not know a nicer, more well-grounded from a character standpoint, hard working person. But character & working hard does not guarantee that you will advance in some career. I would argue, and have, that Life for many people is more like a ragged diagonal.

 

You make some good choices and make some bad choices.

 

You attach yourself to some people who further your progress and some others who don’t end up doing shit.

 

You sacrifice some passion for some paying of bills.

 

You take advantage of some opportunities and miss out on some others <we tend to do more of the latter than the former>.

 

And maybe worse?

 

The choices are often not particularly clear.

 

Life choices are more likely to be like the infamous “trolley ethical problem:”

transitional liminal path grow poetential change

 

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Imagine you are standing beside some tram tracks. In the distance, you spot a runaway trolley hurtling down the tracks towards five workers who cannot hear it coming. Even if they do spot it, they won’t be able to move out of the way in time.

As this disaster looms, you glance down and see a lever connected to the tracks. You realise that if you pull the lever, the tram will be diverted down a second set of tracks away from the five unsuspecting workers.

However, down this side track is one lone worker, just as oblivious as his colleagues.

So, would you pull the lever, leading to one death but saving five?

This is the crux of the classic thought experiment known as the trolley dilemma, developed by philosopher Philippa Foot in 1967 and adapted by Judith Jarvis Thomson in 1985.

—————–

 

“The Trolley Problem” reminds us that, in fact, in Life there rarely a single correct answer, and all choices have consequences <some good and some bad>.

 

We have a tendency to perceive Life as a continuous string of days in which we make choices with a clear 360degree vision.

The reality is that string of days is more likely to have long periods of dense fog good bad idea battle for path business tangledin which you are attempting to make choices where you can barely see your hand in front of your face.

 

People who believe success happens overnight are sadly mistaken.

 

People who believe success is always doing one thing, choosing one path, and sticking to it are sadly mistaken.

 

People who believe grinding and working away will insure you will not be overlooked <at some point> or not be taken for granted are sadly mistaken.

 

People who believe if you work hard enough there are no limitations <to progress or your own capabilities> are sadly mistaken.

 

People who believe they work REALLY hard they will automatically become exceptional at their craft and ‘experts’ … are sadly mistaken.

 

Suffice it to say … it is slightly naïve to believe if you work hard and be patient … well … it will all work itself out.

 

Suffice it to say … Life is relatively indifferent to what you want, destiny does not lend you a hand and the universe, in general, is a shitty guide.

 

Success takes a tremendous amount of effort.

 

Yeah … the impatient tend to progress faster … but also crash more often.

Success is more often a delicate balance of patience & impatience.

 

That said.

 

I have always balked at the “do what you are passionate” career advice. Only because in its simplistic guidance it suggests that your passion is always tied to what you are actually good at. This kind of advice kind of sucks because if you suck at what you are passionate about you are more likely to end up a bitter, slightly angry, poor individual than a successful one.

 

talent ambition path career business life

 

My suggestion is to do … well … something that is going to sound crappy.

Do what you love as a side project to your day job.  Doing what you want as a side project gives you opportunities to not only do something you want to do but it kind of ‘tests the market for what you have to offer.’

 

Obviously this also gives you some stability in that you are still paying bills.

 

I would note that this is exactly what my ‘multiple night success’ friend did.

 

All that said. Within the multiple nights effort there is a less discussed aspect.

Multiple night success more often than not depends on emotionally intelligence or … well … a strongly grounded character.

 

I couldn’t figure out exactly which of those phrases I wanted here.

 

The high falutin’ thought is emotional intelligence or emotional IQ … but I think it may be simpler than that.

 

Character.

Solid moral compass.

Integrity.

 

A persistent belief in the fact the good within will be able to deflect the majority of the bad Life throws at you.

 

everything has changed more me overnight successIt may have a tinge of unrealistic expectations but I would argue that the tinge is what colors what could appear to be a bleak landscape that their Life could appear like on occasion.

 

It also permits you to ground yourself in “I” and not in the eyes of “them.” It permits you so that no matter what other people are thinking or saying about you … well … your self-worth comes from within and your grounding permits you to ignore the noise.

 

Ok.

 

Let me try this.

 

Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain — you’re never as good or bad as they say you are. Knowing that your firm grasp of who you are makes it difficult for someone to say or do something that can dent your resilience & belief in character.

 

 

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“all that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

 

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.”

 

Tolkein

 

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Ok.

 

Not all those who wander are lost.

 

We spend gobs of time talking about career success and planning your future and all of that bullshit when the truth is that not everyone knows their “destination” from day one.many night success progress work life

 

 

While we use that thought most often with our youth, I could argue that a shitload of people at any age takes time to figure out not only what you are good at but what makes you happy <which may not be the same thing> as well as what feeds your life vitality <the shit that makes waking up every morning fun>.

 

People wander.

 

Ok.

Not all do … but those who do tend to be some pretty interesting people <not necessarily the most successful … but interesting>.

 

I often use a clip from the old tv show Felicity to make this point:

 

<it is called “Ben’s big mom speech … and yes … I am actually using a clip from Felicity to make a point here … but YouTube doesn’t offer the actual clip because of licensing>

 

————————-

Ben:

“I’d like to think that people take a good look at me before they make up their minds… He’s this guy, he doesn’t know what he wants to be yet, and he doesn’t have a major yet, he’s got his dad as this dark character … has a drinking problem.

 

I’m not really selling myself here, am I? … Look I understand why you guys needed to see Felicity with someone like Noel… I mean, he’s obviously gonna make it. And probably long before, I mean, I figure out what I ‘m gonna be in my life. But I always remember this one thing my teacher said, which was, all these people she knew they had no idea what they were gonna do with their lives when they were twenty. So, chances are, I’m gonna turn out to be a pretty interesting guy.

—————————

 

It’s a great message.

 

stop rushing success overnight time persistentThe wanderer usually feels like there is something wrong with themselves. And there is an inherent danger in defending yourself in that in doing so you stop seeking an actual destination and revel in the seeming rebellion of wandering.

 

Regardless.

 

Wandering doesn’t mean you are lost. You may simply be discovering. And the discovery is needed to make whatever gold you have in you shine.

 

Time just needs to buff away the dullness a little.

 

Next.

 

Part B … “deep roots are not reached by frost.”

 

Well.

 

As I have said a bunch of times … “life can be a real motherfucker.” Not only can it be relatively indifferent to what you want it can actually actively make Life a real shitshow on occasion.

 

That said.

A wanderer needs deep roots just to survive some of the shit Life throws at you.

 

Deep roots is the shit that matters within.

 

Your passion.

Your soul.

Your character.

Your beliefs.

 

The kind of stuff that no matter how much someone may challenge or try to make sound silly … well … they are your deep roots.

 

Here is the tricky part.

 

I think deep roots takes time.

 

And I don’t mean cultural roots or family roots … I mean personal roots.

 

Unfortunately many of us don’t get deep <healthy> roots until you are older. It seems like life experience creates deep roots.

 

But.

 

It’s worth the wait.

 

Because even in the coldest and darkest of time … deep roots can never be touched by frost <which means they will grow again>.

 

And that is what has happened with my good friend. His roots have found a home and his paths have joined to meet at some destination which, after many years, is his new success.

 

Look.

 

I do not believe that journey is for the faint of heart and I do believe ‘wandering’ takes deep roots, resilience and a good healthy dose that good overcomes bad if you keep believing that.

 

But I would argue his journey has made his Life interesting … and him more interesting.

 

Sigh.

 

What you cannot see around the corner.

That new road.

Or that secret gate.

The unknown.

 

To me each step in life is driven on by curiosity and the joy of discovery. And then not settling with that discovery but rather pocketing it as a new experience life tried to crush her patience success overnightand immediately stepping back out on the road seeking the next gate, door or errand …. ‘pursuing it with eager feet’ as it may be.

 

I do think it is helpful to remind ourselves that big is more often found in small than anywhere else … that there is always another gate or door … and that even the ‘least’ among us can actually be the ‘most’ for the health of a strong society.

 

Some people take more time to grow more into who and what you are … and some people need more doors & gates to grow into the place their deep roots belong.

 

And some people made of gold do not <obviously> glitter … and, yet, they find their personal pot of gold.

 

<well done DMan>

 

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