a present worth remembering

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presentist ON-EDGE_TB_02

“I never set out to become anything in particular, only to live creatively and push the scope of my experience for adventure and for passion.

If there’s no future in it, this is a present worth remembering.”

 

“If I only scrape a living at least it’s a living worth scraping, if there’s no future in it, at least the present is worth remembering.”

=

Mickey Smith

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“It’s only terrible to have nothing to wait for.”

Erich Maria Remarque

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Well.

futurist Past Present Interloop

 

Let’s think about a present worth remembering … and how that relates to a future worth waiting for today.
I imagine the best place to begin is with the thought … does anyone recognize a moment worth remembering … in the moment itself?

 

Take a second before you say … “silly … of course I would recognize a moment worth remembering.”

 

 

Uhm.
We really don’t.

 

 

the dramatics of a life-determining experience are often unbelievably soft

 

 

 

Well.

 

 

At least we don’t often.

 

 

That’s why we take pictures.

 

 

That’s why we keep journals.

 

 

That’s why we tell stories.

 

——-

“Even if it’s a dumb story, telling it changes other people just the slightest little bit, just as living the story changes me.

An infinitesimal change. And that infinitesimal change ripples outward – ever smaller but everlasting.

I will get forgotten, but the stories will last. And so we all matter – maybe less than a lot, but always more than some.”

=

John Green

<an Abundance of Katherines>

——–

 

Well … the reason I decided to write this is because I most likely would have answered it the same way as everyone else <of course I recognize ‘moments’ … ‘of course I recognize things worth remembering’> … at least until I really thought about it.

 

 

Sure.

 

There is the easy stuff.
We almost all tend to look at things like “hey, big event, bring camera.”

 

Here is the trouble.

 

Most of the moments worth remembering … are unexpected.

 

And moments worth remembering can happen at any time.

 

It doesn’t have to be one of those big important milestones … in fact … more often than not … they aren’t.

 

They are more often found in something that seems normal or every day.

 

And my random thoughts became clear when I read this following thought:

 

 

——–

“REZA SILENCIOSA.

SILENT NOBILITY.

loud thoughts mouth

It is a mistake to believe that the crucial moments of a life when its habitual direction changes forever must be loud and shrill dramatics, washed away by fierce internal surges.

This is a kitschy fairy tale started by boozing journalists, flashbulb-seeking filmmakers and authors whose minds look like tabloids.

In truth, the dramatics of a life-determining experience are often unbelievably soft.

It has so little akin to the bang, the flash, of the volcanic eruption that, at the moment it is made, the experience is often not even noticed. When it deploys its revolutionary effect and plunges a life into a brand-new light giving it a brand-new melody, it does that silently and in this wonderful silence resides its special nobility.”

=

Pascal Mercier

——-

 

 

 

What a wonderful thought to ponder … without the loud dramatics moments worth remembering often seem to reside in some ‘wonderful silence with special nobility.’

 

 

And in their wonderful silence we can easily miss them.
This suggests we need to focus … an inordinate amount of focus in fact … a shitload of focus on a ‘present’ to enable one worth remembering.

 

 

Now.

 

This may not big colorful storytelling moments … but rather just focusing on what you can control right now not worrying whether it is big or small … exciting or mundane.

 

 

——–

“What happens when you let an unsatisfactory present go on long enough?

It becomes your entire history. “

Louise Erdrich <The Plague of Doves>

=

——–

=

“A third of life is spent unconscious and corpselike.”

William Lindsay Gresham

——–

Unfortunately we seem to waste a shitload  of our life on stuff like worry, regret, pain, and heartache.

 

By the way … that is not making those moments memorable … well … at least memorable in a positive way … it is kind of like believing ‘no pain no gain’.

 

Those are moments of despair actually.

 

 

Not the kind of memories you should choose to want to have.

 

 

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

 

Of course some of this is inevitable and necessary.

 

But sweating over shit you don’t need to sweat about doesn’t make anything memorable except that you sweated a lot.

 

 

I imagine that our misguided focus within the present is based on the fact most of us either just don’t know any better or how to live Life just hadn’t sunk in yet.

 

 

Anyway.

 

 

I suppose life lessons are called lessons for a reason.

 

 

You need to experience life in order to learn the lessons.

 

And obviously … the more life you experience the more lessons you accumulate.

 

This may sound trite but if you don’t keep your eye pretty consistently on the fact that Life is made up of ‘the now’ and managing the present is kind of important … you’ll most likely end up simply waiting longer and longer for all the things you want to happen in the future.

 

 

Happiness or whatever you desire truly is usually pretty attainable … and rarely does it exist in some esoteric ‘future.’ Yup. While sounding quite unglamorous … what you desire actually consists of right now.

present worth nows aline

Whether you like this thought or not … Life is actually a series of right nows.

 

 

Now.

 

That said.
Despite all the ‘rights nows’ we face we actually fear not is what in the now but some illusion <mostly>

 

This illusion is made up mostly of a shitload of things <and associated fears> … which … uhm … never happen. Or if they actually do happen they rarely end up as bad as we feared they would be.

 

For most of us, fear is the worst thing that will happen to us <not something that actually happens in reality>.

 

 

Frankly … reality isn’t as painful or doesn’t suck as much as we seem to think it is.

<but we don’t seem to understand that … consistently avoiding ‘right nows’ … present … awaiting the amazing – or at least something better – somewhere in the non present future>.

Anyway.

 

Some random thoughts on the Life illusions we seem to have that effect our present <how we live>.

 

 

 

 

–      what we know <or think we know> is an illusion <mostly>

 

 

gg thinker and girlWe think we have the answers, know what’s right and wrong, good and bad, best for ourselves and other people.

 

 

Well.

 

‘We think’ are the two words to focus on.

 

Because we aren’t always right.

 

Not only do we not know what we don’t know … we also don’t know a guaranteed future … oh … and there is always more than one version <of pretty much everything in Life … excepting yourself>. We face so many crossroad momenst in our Life our heads would explode if we truly thought about it and tried to count them daily.

 

Here is what I know about this illusion.

 

There are many perspectives that are valid. Keep yourself open to that truth.

 

 

 

Next.

 

Control.

 

 

       control is an illusion <mostly>

 

 

Uhm.

 

Sorry.

 

Controlling your Life is an illusion.

 

Why?

 

 

You can’t control others.

 

 

The present is always impacted by more than “I”. Others play a role in the present.

 

And while we want people to think and behave as we do … and we want them to accommodate us and live the way we think they should live … and maybe most importantly … we want to change them <so our present is maximized and worth remembering for the right reasons> … we cannot really do any of those things.

 

That tends to make ‘right now’ moments … well .. challenging. Challenging in the uniqueness because they are being impacted by a shitload of unique people.

 

While it sucks … you can’t and shouldn’t try to control others.

 

Your only option is to embrace the uniqueness of the moment and the people affecting the present … and keep going.

 

My point?

 

While the present and ‘right now’ is yours … it isn’t.

At the same time … blaming someone else for a crappy right now moment is wasted energy.

 

Saying something like ‘well … it’s not my fault … I couldn’t control all the variables <people>’ is naïve <and kinda stupid>.

 

You were never in control … you will never have control … control is an illusion.

 

Reality is simply playing the hand you are dealt.

Reality is realizing you are gonna get dealt a new hand immediately after you have played that one.

 

perfection is shit

 

–       perfect moments are an illusion <until you look back on it>

 

 

Sorry.

 

There is no such thing as a perfect moment … at least when viewed in the present.

 

Perfection is unattainable.

 

And, frankly, the pursuit of it is not only silly … but in fact can make us boring.

 

It is our differences, our foibles, our imperfections that connect us to the rest of the world and make things perfect.

 

I brought up us, or people, as an example because Life is exactly the same.

 

 

It is the imperfect moments that make Life perfect in the end.

 

Take solace in the fact that a present to remember will always have a rich & royal hue of imperfection <and, yet, we will label it ‘perfect’>.

 

 

 

–      relaxation is an illusion <mostly>

 

 

 

Well.

 

 

Lets debunk the relaxation myth right now.

 

 

If you want something in life you pretty much have to do the work to get it.

 

 

Unfortunately … there are rarely shortcuts.

 

 

Here is the good news. Truthfully <research evens shows this> it is the work is that creates the most sense of accomplishment to us <not the outcome>.

 

 

If you look back at your most memorable moments … the ones that made you the happiest or made you feel the best you have ever felt … you were doing something … you weren’t relaxing.

 

 

 

Now.

 

You cannot always ‘do’ and you need to relax at some point <or you will spontaneously implode> but seek to make your present worth remembering by doing.

 

do not disturb siestaI imagine my real point is what I said earlier … your moments truly worth remembering are rarely associated with relaxing or ‘doing nothing’ … they are almost always associated with ‘doing something.’

 

 

 

 

Ok.

 

 

I am done discussing illusions.

 

 

In the end … about the only thing that really isn’t an illusion is the present.

 

 

What is here and now and in front of you.

 

 

Uhm.

 

 

Some call that … <big pause here> … yup … reality.

 

Trite but true ….

 

The past is irretrievable.

The future is unknown

 

 

It is only the present that is tangible … and often quite shape-able and steerable.

 

 

To be clear.

 

 

Living Life always in the present just isn’t possible.

 

 

But.

 

 

Being aware of Life in the present is possible.

 

 

That distinction can make all the difference in the world.

 

You do the best you can with, and within, the present moment at hand.

 

Sometimes you will be at your best … and sometimes you won’t.

 

But you know what?

 

You just keep your eye on the ‘best ball’ because the present ain’t always just about you.

 

Huh?

 

Well.

 

 

Unfortunately for you and I, and every human being out there, each moment doesn’t just influence you and what happens next … it influences the lives of others around you … and ones yet to walk across the path of the decision you have made and how you managed that present moment.

 

 

I imagine that is really the big point to make.

 

 

A present worth remembering lives not only with, and within, you … but there will always be someone else who will remember that moment in time <as their own>.crossroad of decision

 

 

You may forget it … it may have seemed like a mundane moment in time … but to someone else … it influenced their future … and maybe it was even a ‘present worth remembering’ for them.

 

Remember that my friends.

 

 

Life moments linger not only with you … but with others.

 

 

“What lingered after them was not life, but the most trivial list of mundane facts: a clock ticking on a wall, a room dim at noon, and the outrageousness of a human being thinking only of herself.”

==

Anonymous

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Written by Bruce