another absurd rebranding example

 ignorance and stupidity

 

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“I’m not a marketing person. I don’t ask myself questions.

I go by instinct.”

 

—-

Karl Lagerfeld

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“Marketing and press kicks up dust. It gets in your eye, and then you’re not focusing on the product.“

 

—-

Jan Koum

 

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So.

personal-brand hugh

Within the 1st 5 posts ever written on enlightened conflict I wrote about the absurdity of rebranding … Nigeria: The risks in branding (a lesson from Nigeria).

 

In that post I pointed out that simply telling someone something doesn’t mean that <a> it suddenly makes it true, <b> makes it believable to everyone, and <c> it changes everything that everyone currently believes.

 

Today, over 1800 posts later, I return to the absurd topic by discussing another country … Czechoslovakia … or Czech Republic … or Czechia.

 

Yeah.

 

For a reason only truly obvious to them the Czech Republic’s leaders have chosen “Czechia” as the one-word alternative name of their country to “make it easier for companies, politicians and sportsmen to use on products, name tags and sporting jerseys.”

 

The choice, made by the president, prime minister, heads of parliament and foreign and defense ministers, meant that they could file the “new name” with the United Nations which under the rules of this absurd branding initiative would officially change the country’s name.

trump-you-are-batcrap-crazy

This is crazy.

 

Fucking nuts.

 

Here is what I envision happened <having been in the marketing world>.

 

I assume the bunch of country leaders were brainstorming ideas about how to “improve the Czech Republic’s position in the world” and someone <after possibly drinking one too many of their fine beers> said “hey, our name is too long … we would double our business if we shortened it.”

 

<note: because “Republic” is so difficult for everyone>

 

What would happen if we get rid of Republic?!? … someone shouts.

 

<people think>

 

Someone says … “Well, that’s shorter … but then we are just “Czech” … that isn’t good.”

 

hmmmmmmmmm ………

rebrand-marketing-make-this-shit-up

<that is the sound of the room pondering this brilliance>

 

 

Someone says … lets add “ia” which make its sound … well … okay … it doesn’t sound anything but it is different than Czech.

 

Yeah, that’s it!

 

<consensus among drunken political hacks sitting around fine mahogany table>

 

— after a minute or two pondering their brilliance … —

 

“Okay.

But we need a marketing expert … why don’t we call Pavel?”

 

<one of the most popular names in the Czech Republic and good friend of Jan — who is one of the ministers jumping on this rebranding bandwagon>.

 

Pavel immediately runs over to the minister gathering … listens for a minute or two … pensively looks around the room … takes a deep breath <everyone leans forward …> … he jumps up  and says “brilliant !!! … this is marketing genius !!!”

 

marketing-versus-common-senseOkay.

 

This is the stupidest fucking marketing idea.

 

It is not even close to being common sense.

 

While there has been no standardized one-word English name for the Czech Republic, unlike, say, France <the shortened version of the French Republic> since the official breakup of Czechoslovakia in the 90’s I scratch my head over why it even matters.

 

The Czech Republic is made up of Bohemia, Moravia and Silesia.

Uhm.

 

Who cares? That is kind of irrelevant <but fun factoid to share>.

 

What matters is that I assume some marketing expert … maybe even some high falutin’ branding company was involved and they let this incredibly stupid idea happen.

 

It is crap like this that gives marketing a bad name.

 

It is crap like this that encourages me to think that “branding”, in general, is stupid <and I have been part of dozens of ‘branding’ campaigns>.

 

Yeah.

 

A name is kind of like a label for your brand … but … it is not your brand. The label represents all the stuff <think of sausage> that makes up what could be construed as a brand.

 

And just like sausage … it can be stuffed with crap or t can be stuffed with high quality ingredients.

 

While the Czech Republic could give a shit what I think I would have sat them down <demanding some of their fine beer in payment> and said …

“look, let’s figure out what we want the Czech Republic to stand for <if you are worried about business and sporting impressions>.  Because I have to be honest with you … people will wear “uehdmajndgygeemudby” on their shirt <that was just some random letters I typed on my keyboard> and buy a shitload of those shirts … and even bring their businesses closer to where that name on that shirt is … if they think it is cool, if they think it represents who they are <and how they think>, if it means they could make some money being associated with that name.

The name, in and of itself, is … well … less than relevant. Let’s focus on the sausage ingredients.”

 

But, hey, that’s me.

 

Christallmighty … how does shit like this really happen?

 

I buy the fact that people who have no reason making decisions like this make decisions like this. I see it all the time. there are a shitload of business people, heck, any people as a matter of fact … who believe they are smart enough to pretty much make any decisions whether they are an expert or not.

business-dunce-stupid-brand-marketing

But.

 

Most of the time most reasonably larger business entities <countries included> will bring in someone who actually is supposed to know their shit.

 

And that is where shit like his is supposed to die.

 

Someone like me is supposed to come in and represent some sanity.

 

Someone like me is supposed to come in and offer some common sense.

 

Someone … well … someone smarter than me is supposed to come in and say this is stupid.

 

Someone is supposed to come in and state the obvious … people are used to the name Czech Republic by now, most people are fine with it, almost all people do not think it is a barrier to anything meaningful, pretty much all people don’t think it is ‘too complicated’ and needs to be ‘simpler’ … and I would say we should stick with it.

 

Arguing that the Czech Republic tag is too long to attract attention on the global stage and “woo” foreign investment and that “Czechia” would simplify things and be more recognizable is … well … just stupid.

 

This is the kind of shit that makes real branding efforts more difficult and this is the kind of shit that makes talking about marketing, in general, more difficult.

 

I am about to make a blanket statement using a percentage I have no research to prove.

 

smart-dumb-branding-marketing-ideas90% of so called “rebranding” projects and initiatives are a waste of time. They are misguided initiatives in which nothing needs to be rebranded but rather the brand itself just needs to reassert itself.

 

I am 90% confident I am right on this.

 

As for the Czech Republic rebranding?

 

Just another stupid marketing example that makes everyone in marketing look stupid.

 

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Written by Bruce