aren’t you afraid? (purposefully losing yourself)
“Aren’t you afraid?”
“Of losing yourself.”
‘That’s what I’m hoping for.’
I have no space, no room to move around
And this box is getting smaller, I’m trying to get out
How did I get so far from where I was?
When did I decide to lose my way? Who have I become?
I’ve got a new low
All 52 cards in a row
I’ve been right, I’ve been left
I’ve been wrong, I’ve been left behind
I’ve been up but mostly down
I cannot help feeling like I have so much at stake
So I lock myself inside my head and I just run in place
So many directions I don’t know which way to go
I’m so busy doing nothing, I got nothing to show
Middle Class Rut – New Low Lyrics
I have written so many times about holding on to the core of yourself … and finding the core of who and what you are … and relentlessly defending the core of what makes you … well … that when I saw the opening quote I sat back and had to ponder its wisdom.
Purposefully losing yourself.
What a thought. Why would anyone purposefully do so?
What happens if you feel like you are just running in place?
What happens if you feel like you’ve lost 52 cards in a row?
What happens if you feel like you are constantly reaching a new low?
You start thinking that risking losing yourself just ain’t that big a risk.
When you are in a rut. Maybe when you are in a hole. Shit. Maybe even when you feel like you are slipping into a hole … you have a tendency to grasp at straws. To start thinking that everything is on the table with regard to change … even yourself.
This is a dangerous time.
I am certainly not going to suggest that you can’t, and shouldn’t, ‘lose yourself in seeking a newer better different version of yourself’ … because … well … depending on the circumstances it may actually be the right thing to do and a healthy decision.
This is a big decision.
Like this is a big hairy audacious type decision.
This is not a decision to be made flippantly or out of some momentary desperation. Far too often people flippantly say “desperate times demand desperate measures.’
In truly desperate situations this may be true.
But more often than not a personal crisis of self or even some situation you are in … well … rarely is truly desperate <even though it may feel that way>. We all face tough moments and tough situations. And 90+% of the time we muddle through – either stumbling our way or thru some insightfully smart maneuvering or somewhere in between.
And the more often we do so the less likely we think about sacrificing who and what we are currently.
But … yeah … sure.
That doesn’t mean you don’t get tempted on occasion.
Let’s assume you do make the choice. And let’s assume it is the right choice.
This choice is exactly like any other real important choice <although I could argue any choice> you make.
People will look at your decision.
People will question you.
People will ask you if you are afraid.
Are you afraid of losing yourself?
And, yet, that is exactly what you are hoping for.
That pretty much summarizes any important Life decision you will ever make.
Fear of what you actually hope for. Sounds kind of crazy but … well … so does purposefully losing yourself.
But, well, sometimes you have to lose to gain.