burning bridges
This is a rambling thought on living life.
I decided to start writing this one when I saw this quote:
“May the bridges I burn … light the way” – some unsourced blogger & Dylan from 90210
Whew.
I wish I had written this.
Living life burning bridges is an art.
And, by the way, there is bad burning bridges and good burning bridges.
If you are doing the right thing, for yourself and without harming others and keeping within a good ethical framework, the bridge you just burned needed to be burned.
That is a good burning bridge (one that lights the way for you).
And that is burning a bridge with character and builds character. Because it takes strength of character to make that kind of decision and make that kind of change.
No ifs, and or buts.
No debate from people who say ”you should never burn bridges because you never know when you will see that person again.”
Bullshit.
Too many times have I seen people pussy foot their way out of a bad situation because of fear of burning bridges.
What a bunch of bullshit.
This doesn’t mean you have to burn all bridges by blowing them up with a nuclear bomb. Sometimes simply tossing a Molotov cocktail on it as you leave it behind is fine. And the purpose behind this?
You burn a bridge so the enemy cannot get to you.
That is why burning a bridge is okay.
And that is why burning a bridge can have a purpose.
You do it because you do not care if you see that person or whatever reason you burned the bridge for ever again … because you never want to be associated with them again.
Burn the frickin’ bridge.
I have done it.
I will do it again (I am sure).
And I am just fine with it.
So.
How do I justify in my own head living life this way?
This quote summarizes it perfectly:
“Whenever I start to feel like my life isn’t where I want it to be, “Cops” is there to put everything into perspective. Yeah, I haven’t made all the right moves over the last 34 years, but I’m not hiding from the police under a kiddie pool, either.” – Carl Mayer
Success is relative.
Happiness is extremely personal.
And, in the end, the only person who truly has to live with your decisions is yourself.
So burn the bridges you can live without.
Ah. let me comment on my own post (because several people have sent me notes). effectively burning a bridge is a discrete well-defined action in my mind. burn it. leave it behind. kind of a bigger version of ‘ripping off a bandaid’ rather slowly pulling it off. when it is gone, burned, it is left behind. bad burning of a bridge etiquette (and the type that can haunt you) is letting it linger in your conversations and ongoing discussion. part of burning the bridge is also with yourself in that by burning it you have left it behind. so it does absolutely no good to discuss the bridge like a tourist describing a bad vacation experience over and over. past is past. that is why you burned it. leave it behind.
You credit the source of the quote as “some unsourced blogger”. I have heard this quote used before, and it stuck in my mind then. It was in the mid to late 90’s when Dylan McKay said to Brandon Walsh, “let the bridges I burn light the path to my future”. It was in response to Brandon being the only person left willing to help Dylan deal with his drug and alcohol problems. Dylan wasn’t accepting of the help and Brandon said “you don’t want to burn this bridge”, eliciting the above quoted response. I’d imagine someone can find the appearance of this quote from an earlier date, but until then, we can thank Beverly Hills: 90210.
Oh my. Thanks. And i would venture to say this will be the first … and probably last time … i will ever use a 90210 quote
Just gotta interject… the Dylan McKay quote was actually “May the bridges I burn light the way”. I’ve been trying to find the source of the quote as well and this is the wording I’ve found time and again. Funny how pop culture can inadvertently make an impact.
once again … who would have thought i would ever use a 90120 quote … regardless … the bottom line to me is that tv writers … even for horrendous shows like 90210 … are excellent writers of dialogue and capturing thoughts into dialogue soundbites. we call it pop culture because the tv shows create those memorable moments but the writers create the words. words are pretty powerful (that was an obvious thought, huh?). but. you know words are powerful if they can fight their way through a show like 90210 and be quoted & discussed (thats my point).
Funny how your blog post is crafted around a quote from a “horrendous show.” Guess that makes this blog post horrendous. Can’t wait for you to quote some Ray Pruit lyrics next.
well jack … I will not back down on 90210 being horrendous but it is quite possibly a horrendous post. Regardless. I did not know who Ray Pruit was … googled for quotes … found nothing useful or inspiring … but … I did find that he threw Tori Spelling down a flight of stairs once so he couldn’t have been that bad. And while I do not condone violence I did find a funny blog where someone justified Ray’s throwing the Donna character down the stairs http://www.stinkwhispers.com/2011/01/wrongly-accused-5-reasons-ray-pruit-was.html … thanks for the comment.