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sauced
Feb 8th
So.
Urban dictionary should be bookmarked by everyone. It is a priceless source for priceless sayings (and insures us old folk can keep track of the new folk slang).
Why do I bring up the Urban Dictionary?
Well.
Knowshon Moreno (Denver Broncos running back and proud University of Georgia Bulldog graduate) gets pulled over for a DUI in Denver while driving a Bentley convertible with personalized license plates that read “SAUCED.”
Yeah. You read that right. SAUCED.
Oh. Not only was he drunk but he was driving 70 mph in a 45-mph and didn’t have insurance.
Ok.
But let me get back to SAUCED.
I wanted to make sure I wasn’t missing something (like why would you have personalized plates that suggested you constantly drove around drunk). I wanted to see if ‘sauced’ meant something like ‘rad’ or ‘totally’ or ‘I am awesome’ in today’s vernacular.
With that … I went to Urban Dictionary which always sets me straight after I talk with a yong person in the office (let alone in any high school).
Here is what they had to offer … oh … and it is actually when I got to #4 that I think I understand the license plate (and laughed out loud):
Knowshon not suaced
1. sauced (personal)
sauced: to be so drunk all you can think about is how drunk you are .. “i was supremely sauced at the party” or “I’m sauced bitches.”
2. sauced (descriptive verb)
Having too much to drink.
To be very drunk. Similar words: plastered, hammered, shitfaced, trashed … “my mom is sauced after that party” or “Dude, you were so sauced last night that you passed out on the floor”
3. sauced (descriptive adjective)
- To be shotdown or owned, often an exclamation … “I totally failed that test; I was sauced like none other.”
4. Sauced
(v.) an interjection used when a bout of bad luck has fallen upon someone, or when somebody is hurt, defeated, or is clearly about to catch herpes. primarily used and popularized in Eastern Massachusetts, more specifically in the village of Winthrop By The Sea.
Person A: “I heard billy got herpes from her at that party”
Person B: “SAUCED”
There you go.
Either Knowshon knows someone who has herpes and got the license plate as a joke or … well … maybe the Bentley has herpes.
Oddly (in an odd twist of rationale) … let’s hope it is this rather than driving around drunk with a SAUCED license plate.
OR.
I have one more option. 
It is quite possible Knowshon is a closet poetry fan … and has been traveling to Ontario … and is showing his support for the girls night ‘hot sauced words poetry’ nights.
well.
Just a thought.
enlightened conflict college football 2011
Nov 30th
Every year I seem to get motivated to enlighten everyone on college football. This year it is the bowl games where I feel it is time to enlighten.
Let me begin with some assumptions:
- Oregon will be Pac-12 champ (beating a 6-6 chump UCLA)
- LSU will destroy Georgia (assuming they don’t decide to just go directly to New Orleans and forget there is a game in the Georgia Dome)
- Virginia Tech will beat a dangerously good but seemingly lost Clemson
- Wisconsin is gonna thump Michigan State for ruining its season earlier in the year with the luckiest play of the entire NCAA season
- Oklahoma State will beat Oklahoma because it won’t come down to their field goal kicker.
- Louisville wins the Big East (which is absolutely irrelevant because I am not sure they are even a top 20 team)
Next.
I am going to ignore the BCS and polls (because I have never understood how some teams end up where they are anyway … oh … sure I do .. the polls are based at the beginning of the year on how you finished the year before … and name brand status) and suggest that there is LSU and then a bunch of teams who are good enough to win an important game against a very good team.
And there are some teams in the top 15 teams who will are not on my list of teams that could do the “win the big game”.
Georgia, Stanford, South Carolina, Oklahoma and a couple of others are good teams but using the “eye test” they just aren’t that good. All teams this year seem flawed (even LSU on offense) but some teams, even though they have a good record, are really just not that good.
I also believe if you don’t win your conference you shouldn’t play in a BCS championship game. That unfortunately knocks out 2 teams, Boise State & Alabama, from contention (although I will also point out another reason why Bama should go somewhere else and play with someone else).
Regardless. Let me enlighten you …
1. No one outside of Alabama wants to see LSU play Alabama (that includes LSU people).
No one wants this game. Why would they? LSU has won … in Alabama home stadium … in one of the world’s most boring ugly games of the century. This game would prove nothing more than what we already know … they are both good teams. They both have good defenses. They are both offensively challenged. They both have 2 of the best coaches in college football.
Let them now go out and really prove it. Take on the best of the rest and if they win we know they are the top 2 and that LSU won when they played.
Alabama had their chance and blew it (or maybe they lost to a better team). Sorry. No do-overs. No mulligans. Go take your game elsewhere and take it out on someone else.
Plus (ok … here comes some heresy). Is Alabama really that good? Maybe they need to give us some more proof. Other than a good win against a flawed Penn State team in UnHappy Valley the best thing on their resume is a loss … to LSU. Now. Just to prove I haven’t completely lost it I am not suggesting Bama isn’t a very good team. I am simply enlightening people to the fact that they really haven’t beaten a bunch of very good teams (uh oh, here is where all the SEC lovers come out of the woodwork and start giving me some good ole fashion conflict whoop-ass). Maybe instead of begging for a rematch they should just go out and beat someone on a neutral field.
2. Broncos. Oh. That is the Denver Broncos not Boise State.
What the heck. Let the Denver Broncos play LSU. They are playing a college offense with a college quarterback with an NFL-like defense.
The Broncos last game? The special teams got three field goals and a 31-yard punt return that setup their lone touchdown. And they have no offense other than the fact it is heavy on Tebow. Last game Tebow carried 22 times (a record for a quarterback since the NFL-AFL merger) for 67 yards. He is not an overly skilled quarterback. Look. I bet he is a great guy and he is certainly a great leader.
But. I have one stat for you. 0-4.
That is what he was at half time one game. Huh? My quarterback was 0-4? Yup. I swear to you that this is really the Air Force Academy (or Georgia Tech) in NFL uniforms. The NCAA should be questioning some players on what they are doing with their Sundays. That’s why all those Broncos players are wearing those Darth Vader visors … it’s a cover up. The Broncos are clearly a top 5 BCS contender. Let Tebow play another season. Bring on LSU.
3. Teams with losses (or maybe I should call this the teams you don’t want to play for just one game because they are really really good even though they have lost some games)
There are some really dangerously good one game teams this season. Their records may not be the best but no one really would want to play a one game season with them.
- Wisconsin
I don’t know if it’s just because they play in Canada or because they only show their games on ESPN3 but no one talks about the Badgers (maybe if they were something different than a Badger?). These guys are good. Really good. And really big. And they could beat anyone on any given Saturday. And maybe even some teams that play on Sunday. And unlike LSU or Alabama they have a real quarterback to go along with a Heisman worthy running back.
- Virginia Tech
Quietly Virginia Tech has won seven in a row. The team has gotten progressively better as the season has unfolded behind the play of an evolving defense and the maturation of the offense. These guys are rarely flashy. These guys never seem to have what it takes to sustain a season. Ok. Maybe it’s that like some other teams they get dinged in the bowls for some early season struggles. I know I should always look at full season results but a part of me says … “look at the team at the end of the year and tell me what you think.”
That said. Right now. One game. One day. Any field. They are very very dangerous. And as long as they don’t wear one of their wacky uniforms they would never embarrass themselves in a big game.
- USC.
Ok. There is no doubt which team is the best in college football this season – LSU. But if there’s another team out there that looks scary to play right now … it is the one that is making being put in the NCAA outhouse look like a Port-a-Potty mansion.
That’s the Trojans who have become the anointed “Team Nobody Wants To Play” (that is a direct pull from FoxSports).
Of course, nobody has to because the Trojans are banned from a bowl. The reality is that since a miserable showing against ASU it has gone 7-1, beating Notre Dame in South Bend, Oregon in Eugene and UCLA in one of the most lopsided games in that rivalry and lost a multiple overtime game to a good Stanford team that they could have won if there had been one more second left in regulation.
USC finished its regular season as one of the half-dozen or so best programs in the country and maybe the hottest team in the NCAA. An LSU – USC game would be awesome.
- Air Force Academy (disguised as the Denver Broncos).
Tim Tebow lost eligibility but has recreated the entire program in Denver (sorry … couldn’t resist bringing it up again).
- Boise State (the real college Broncos).
Say what you want about their schedule. Say what you want about living in Idaho. Say what you want about playing on Smurf Turf. No one wants to play these guys in a bowl game. They win.
Maybe because they actually play like a team. A complete cohesive team without any superstar (and they play with a chip on their shoulder).
A dangerous team to play in a bowl game. In fact I would suggest that over time Boise and USC may be the most dangerous bowl game opponents of all time.
4. Field goal kickers
I am not sure anyone would ever call this “the year of the field goal kickers.”
I haven’t done any research to confirm my feeling but I am not sure I can remember a year that has had more games, and important games, decided by missed field goals.
It was not a good year to be a field goal kicker trotting out onto the field looking to be the hero. Because many more were goats.
If some of those field goals were made the BCS standings would look very very different. Okla State, Boise State, Oregon and maybe even Alabama has a different record.
5. Good teams outside the SEC
Could everyone remember that outside of LSU and Alabama the SEC doesn’t have any elite teams? Please? I would have rephrased that if Marcus Lattimore hadn’t been hurt. With Lattimore and that Gamecock defense South Carolina could have been elite. There are some good teams but it is those 2 and a cloud of dust.
Oh. And there are some pretty horrible teams in the SEC this year. I am not claiming they are the Big East but playing in the SEC was no great shakes this year. And I am probably the only one in the country that doesn’t think Alabama is that good. Defense? Awesome. Offense? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm … they will struggle to run up the score on anyone (even Georgia Southern).
My point?
SEC fans just take a break on your elitism (this year).
Your good is good. Really good. But conference wise? C’mon. Even you have to admit it was a down year.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm … and if you do … does that mean that possibly you assess Alabama’s resume a little differently? Oops. Another enlightenment thought that will generate some conflict.
6. Heisman is for best player isn’t it?
I get confused on this.
I vaguely remember that the Heisman was for the best college football player.
Period. Regardless of the record of the team they were playing on (mostly because if you didn’t do it that way you would be penalizing kids who made the wrong college choice).
Oh. But we don’t do it that way.
So all of a sudden to win a Heisman your team has to be in a BCS game. What’s up with that?
Andrew Luck. Yup. He is good. As is Trent Richardson. But what about Montee Ball (who they call MoneyBall because he scores so many touchdowns)? And Robert Griffin 3? And, yes, Case Keenum deserves discussion. And what about Tyrone Mathieu? Ok. I admit. The Heisman is tough. Comparing what Case Keenum has done to the level of his competition versus, say, what Trent Richardson faces weekly is silly. On the other hand Keenum is significantly more valuable to the Cougars than Richardson is to the Tide. What I mean is that if you take each player off of his respective squad for several weeks and check which team has the greatest drop-off. Both are terrific players …. but terrific in different ways.
I say all that to give my enlightened vote (which will certainly generate some conflict).
Kellen Moore.
Does anybody think that Boise State is a top ten team without Kellen Moore? And with the overall stats he has how can he not be in the discussion?
Oh. And I am probably the only person in America who isn’t sure Luck is the best quarterback in NCAA. Oops. Different post.
Anyway.
I have two words for everyone. Paul Hornung. Only player to win Heisman on a losing team. And you now what? He was a fucking good player and best in college football and deserved the Heisman.
7. The 2011 enlightened bowl line up
So. What would I do if I could ignore all the polls and BCS mumbo jumbo.
BCS championship game:
LSU. Just give it to them. Oh. We can’t. And Alabama is a no-go because they had a chance … and lost. Ok. Let LSU finish proving they are the best. Make them play either Wisconsin or Oklahoma State. Ok. Wisconsin. I believe Wisconsin is better (I am not sure Oklahoma State could keep the Oklahoma high school champion out of the end zone).
This would mean that LSU has already beaten the best of the Big Least, the SEC and the Pac 12 and this game would give them another ‘best’ to see what they do.
Being biased I would put USC in this game in a second. Being practical I cannot. USC is sitting on a toilet bowl watching everyone and hoping Barkley stays in college so they can smack someone in next year’s BCS championship game.
LSU versus Wisconsin. I don’t give a shit the Badgers have 2 losses. They are big & tough & have a quarterback & a great running back & an offensive line that could double as a herd of Herefords.
Other bowls:
Alabama versus Oregon. It’s the best Bama can do to find a comparison point against LSU to try and convince us they are better than LSU. Oregon is better now than when they played LSU in game 1. Let the Ducks see what they can do against Bama. And what Alabama can do against another set of butt-ugly uniforms.
Plus. LaMichael James versus Trent Richardson is a nice matchup. And Bama may be surprised when they play a team that actually has a real quarterback.
Oklahoma State versus Virginia Tech. I actually believe these 2 teams are slightly behind Wisconsin in talent. But are very very good.
Good defense against non stop offense. No offense against a defensive sieve.
What a great match up.
Stanford against Boise State.
Ok. No matter what anyone tells me Stanford is not that good (unless all their receivers are healthy). They are just not deep enough to have significant injuries.
Ok. No matter what anyone tells me Boise State is better than TCU. In fact Boise State is better than pretty much anyone thinks.
I would love to see Kellen Moore finish his career against Andrew Luck making a point that he is a pretty darn good quarterback in his own right.
Houston versus TCU (or Oklahoma or South Carolina or Georgia or whatever quasi-top ten team you want to throw in here).
No one will watch anyway. No one will care. Houston can go undefeated and whine about never getting a chance to play one of the big boys.
Oh. But they won’t win. TCU is good. And will smack Houston around like a dead fish on the wharf (assuming TCU players even know what a wharf is).
Note: insert any of the other team names I included above if you don’t like TCU.
Uh oh. No Big East teams in a big bowl game? Yup. None deserve it.
That’s it.
It was an odd year of college football. And if it wasn’t for a rash of bad field goal kicking it would have been absolutely boring.
An enlightening post? Heck. I don’t know. Fun to write. Sure to create conflict.
testing your limits
Nov 16th
This one is a tough one to write. But let me begin with a quote:
“Life is a test of endurance, strengths, challenges and patience.” – Kim Hoth
Ok.
We all have an inner strength that is difficult to assess until …. well … you actually have to access it.
But we ALL have that inner strength. A source we would rather never have to tap into yet … we do … or we will. It is inevitable in life.
Because Life is nothing if it is not consistent in that it challenges us.
Constantly.
And I also believe most of us are surprised not only by our own capacity when tested but also certainly when seeing the capacity of the others around us.
I was reminded of all this last evening.
And the experience reminded me that Life gives each of us different tests.
And the experience reminded me of perspective … perspective on what is truly a Life challenge versus what we sometimes believe is a ‘challenging life’.
And, once again, in self-reflection, the experience made me wonder “would I be that strong?”
Or maybe more importantly … “would I be strong enough?”
Ok.
Here we go. Envision this scenario.
(WARNING: this is short … but tough)
Your oldest daughter passes out in the shower at home.
She isn’t breathing.
You, the father, frantically give mouth to mouth while someone calls 911.
She is brain dead on arrival at the hospital.
She is dead the following day.
A blood clot in the brain in a healthy 15 year old young woman.
Dead at 15.
No warning
Your daughter is gone.
And you, the father, couldn’t save her.
(I am taking a break here)
I typed that fast.
I had to.
I type things out of anger.
I type things out of thought.
I type things out of frustration.
I have never had to type anything like that ever before.
And I had to do it fast and not dwell.
The words?
That is what my friend Mike actually experienced late last Friday.
Ok. He experienced significantly more, and still is, but from me, someone looking in from the outside that is all I believe I had the right to write.
I cannot envision being in his shoes.
I cannot envision the pain & emptiness.
I cannot envision the depth of helplessness.
I cannot envision the burden.
I am not a godly man.
At least not in the traditional sense.
I say that before I use this quote:
“Life’s a test. I was taught in church that the Lord wouldn’t put more on you than you can handle. But it’s getting heavy.” – Dusty Baker
I used Dusty Baker because Mike & I are not close friends. We are ‘within work environment’ friends. And we would seek each other out for our shared love of baseball.
And I imagine that the heaviness he feels today is close to more than he can handle.
“It’s getting heavy” as Dusty suggests.
I believe we all think life gets heavy on occasion as we face our day to day issues. I know I have faced some things and I know I have felt the heaviness of life. But I have never faced anything like this.
I know, for sure, we shouldn’t measure the heaviness on day to day stuff.
Maybe heavy is this scenario.
And that is the standard. Anything else is just light … a lesser burden.
He and his wife have three more daughters.
Will that lessen the burden?
Shit.
I don’t know.
I don’t know how a father ever leaves the helplessness of not being able to protect, and save, his child.
I am not going to preach here.
I am simply going to remind.
No matter how hard you try to protect someone you love, sometimes you just can’t.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try, but it does mean you should value every day you have.
My thoughts are with you Mike.
did nothing part 2
Nov 9th
Within the horror of the seeming extent of the sexual abuse scenario at Penn State there is a breadth of absurdity.
The absurdity of “taking sides.”
People.
There are no sides to this. Just one side.
Wrongness. Moral responsibility. Protecting children.
And yet a large number of people are focused on “saving Joe Paterno.” Or “should he lose his job or not.”
Frankly. I don’t give a shit.
Someone losing their job seems little solace to the boy seen in the shower with the abuser. I am guessing because this is big time sports and a big time legend a lot of people are losing sight of the issue.
Children were sexually abused.
And adults did nothing.
How much have people lost sight of the issue?
Last night there was a rally at Penn State.
“I believe in Joe Paterno!” a girl screamed.
“I believe in Joe Paterno!” the crowd echoed.
“I believe in Joe Paterno!” she screamed again.
“I believe in Joe Paterno!”
And at the same place this rally took place a woman, with her 10 month old baby and her husband had sat simply holding a sign reminding anyone she could that evil can triumph when good men stay silent.
If that doesn’t express the absurdity of what is happening I don’t know what could.
A rally celebrating the man who had stayed as silent as anyone.
Penn State is now becoming the poster child of one shaped by silence.
I don’t think Jo Pa is a bad man. I don’t believe he is a coward (as one columnist has suggested). I don’t really think anything about him other than he is probably a good man … who remained silent when he shouldn’t have.
Anyway.
This scenario isn’t about one man other than Sandusky (who is charged with 21 felony counts for allegedly abusing eight victims over a period of 15 years and a possible ninth victim came forward to police after Sandusky’s arrest).
This scenario isn’t bigger than the kids (they are the victims here just to remind everyone).
This scenario is about silence and doing nothing.
Some facts.
- One in 4 girls will be sexually abused.
- One in 6 boys will be sexually abused.
The numbers are stunning.
Stunningly horrible.
And silence only permits those numbers to remain as is.
The only thing I ask of those who reminded silent, those who did nothing …
“if you hadn’t, if you had spoken, if you had done something … do you think it is possible one other boy, or girl, wouldn’t have been sexually abused?”
And if the answer is yes.
I guess the bigger question to them is … “don’t you think knowing that would have made it worth doing something?”
I imagine nothing compares to what a sexually abused child lives with for the rest of their lives.
Those who remained silent, who did nothing, have to live with that for the rest of their lives.
did nothing
Nov 7th
Try to envision a situation where you could not fathom you, or anyone for that matter, not doing SOMETHING to help someone.
A situation that seems non-debatable on what to do.
ok.
So read this.
(from FoxSports online – Greg Couch columnist)
Here’s what the report said:
“As the graduate assistant put the sneakers in his locker, he looked into the shower. He saw a naked boy, Victim 2, whose age he estimated to be ten years old, with his hands up against the wall, being subjected to anal intercourse by a naked Sandusky.’’
The assistant fled in fear and confusion. Much the same way a janitor fled after allegedly witnessing Sandusky engaged in a sexual act in the showers with a “young boy” — Victim 8, later described in the report as being “between the ages of 11 and 13.”
They fled? They didn’t help the boys? They didn’t call the police?
—–
He closes this section of his column with exactly what I felt when I first read about all this:
“To read this report is to be sickened, but also to wonder why no one did anything to help.”
Let me repeat.
They did nothing to help the boys.
Nothing.
Oh.
They told their boss.
Who did nothing.
So.
I went to a website about child abuse and they said this:
“Unfortunately, many bystanders witness child abuse and do nothing about it. Neighbors and friends may hear or even see child abuse happening, but don’t want to intrude or interfere with “the rights” of the parents. Such inaction can mean years of pain and heartbreak for young children who are unable to get out of a bad situation.
Abused children need your intervention. In their helplessness, they must rely on capable adults who are willing to take a stand and get them out of an abusive environment.”
Ok.
WTF.
Many bystanders witness … and do nothing.
(WTF again).
Please.
Someone explain.
Under what scenario would someone, a guy in particular (one of us as it may be), would ever walk away … excuse me … “flee”?
Under what scenario would you witness child abuse and DO NOTHING?
Please.
Someone.
Anyone.
This is crazy to me.
We are adults and we are supposed to be able to make adult-like decisions … and do so understanding the ramifications. This is called “responsibility.” Sorry folks … but we have to assume some responsibility at some point. And they are children. We have a responsibility to them.
There are some really sick fucks out there in this world but most of us, the majority, are not.
And we need to make sure children, above all, are protected from the sick fucks.
This means:
- Do not “flee” upon experiencing the situation
- Do not “do nothing”
- DO something (preferably something along the lines of hurting the sick fuck)
Ok.
This story is more than crazy to me. And, I admit, I don’t know all the facts. But what I do know is wrong. And, same as Greg Couch, it sickens me.
But more than anything else?
I am racking my brain for a scenario where I wouldn’t do anything than pick my jaw up off the ground and then take the sonuvabitch’s jaw for a roundtrip around the world with the biggest Joe Frazier punch I could muster. I may even lower myself to kicking the mother#%%er when he was on the ground before I got the kid out of there (and, if I was lucid enough, I would try to tell the kid it wasn’t his fault).
But.
That’s me.
If you have any hesitation on putting some abuse on the abuser than still do something …
If you’re concerned that a child may be abused, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Here’s what you can do:
- Call the National Child Abuse Hotline (1-800-4-A-Child). During your anonymous call, their counselors can help you evaluate the situation and help you make a child abuse report to the proper authorities. If you are nervous about making a report, they will even stay on the line during a 3-way call to offer you support.
- Call your state’s Department of Child Protective Services directly. They will take the information you provide and do a thorough investigation into the situation. If they find that child abuse is occurring, they will remove the child from the situation.
- If a child is in immediate danger, call 911.
As noted earlier I am not sure what could make anyone hesitate but lets be clear.
We should not have to remind people, adults in particular, to take a stand against child abuse. There is no grey area on this issue.
Abuse is abuse.
No ifs, ands or buts.
Jesus.
This had to be one of the most disturbing things I can remember ever seeing.
Never, and I mean unequivocally, never “do nothing.”
One simple act on your art can help prevent child abuse.
One simple act can give an abused child some hope for a better future.
And, as I have stated time and time again … that is the business we adults are in … the hope business.
Disturbing.
This story is just plain disturbing on too many levels to count.
freelance whales
Nov 3rd
So.
I am working on my laptop at home and VH1 is on in the background and I hear a xylophone (ok, maybe a glockenspiel) in a song.
Now that would make anyone who likes music cock their head a little. And it sounded a little like Owl City (who I like) but a much richer sound instrumentally (even more than the xylophone) but a little younger-quirky sounding like maybe the early Eisley.
Yup.
Wrap all that up and you have a nifty young band called Freelance Whales (the name gets explained later).
And the song was Hannah … of which not only the tune caught my ear but the oddly whimsical lyrics …
“And if you’re partial to the night sky
If you’re vaguely attracted to rooftops
Hannah takes the stairs
Cause she can’t tell that
its a winding spiral case
Is she right side up
Or upside-down?”
Here is Hannah: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOyM3xdSurQ&ob=av2n
Anyway.
Freelance Whales is an American indie rock band from Queens, New York, formed in 2008 after connecting on Craigslist (no joke).
Checkout the awesome odd instruments they all bring to the party:
Judah Dadone (lead vocals, banjo, acoustic and electric guitar, synthesizer, bass)
Doris Cellar (bass, harmonium, glockenspiel, synthesizer, vocals)
Chuck Criss (banjo, bass, synthesizer, glockenspiel, harmonium, acoustic and electric guitar, vocals), Jacob Hyman (drums, percussion, vocals) and Kevin Read (acoustic and electric guitar, glockenspiel, mandolin, synthesizer, vocals).
The band’s debut album, Weathervanes, was largely composed by frontman Judah Dadone, the lyrics based on a combination of childhood memories and dream journaling.
Because they’re from New York, the band’s name derives from that freelance atmosphere that the city has. Judah Dadone, once said: ‘Everybody in New York is a freelancer of something, and we used to be too when we played in the subways’ (not sure I get the correlation to whales but whatever ..).
Some music:
the entire weathervanes CD: http://www.freelancewhales.com/weathervanes/index.php
their videos: http://www.freelancewhales.com/media/index.php
beyond the background I wanted to write something interesting & witty about these guys but I found they had already done so in writing the band’s history:
History:
“To call them multi-instrumentalists might be a little overdone. The kids in Freelance Whales are really just collectors, at heart. They don’t really fancy buffalo nickels or Victorian furniture, but over the past two years, they’ve been collecting instruments, ghost stories, and dream-logs. Somehow, from this strange compost heap of little sounds and quiet thoughts, songs started to rise up like steam from the ground.
The first performance of these songs took place in January of 2009, in Staten Island’s abandoned farm colony, a dilapidated geriatric ward, in one of New York’s lesser visited boroughs. A seemingly never-ending jigsaw of small rooms, the farm colony ate them whole and threatened to never regurgitate them. And even though the onlookers were only spiritual presences, the group was still palpably nervous and visibly cold. After a bit of singing, strumming and stomping asbestos, they realized that they’d found a good crowd. They heard a bit of clapping from an adjacent room, also some laughing, but not a single soul asked about their record.
Weathervanes, the groups debut LP, finished tracking just a few nights earlier. Swirling with organic and synthetic textures, interlocking rhythmic patterns, and light harmonic vocals, the record works to tell a simple, pre-adolescent love story: a young male falls in love with the spectral young femme who haunts his childhood home. He chases her in his dreams but finds her to be mostly elusive. He imagines her alive, and wonders if someday he’ll take on her responsibilities of ghosting, or if maybe he’ll join her, elsewhere.
Since their brief residency at the Farm Colony, Freelance Whales have taken to city streets, subway platforms, and stages with their swirling nostalgia. Many people who found them playing in those public spaces, managed to forget what train they were supposed to take; some of them forgot what language they originally spoke. And so, after playing in New York City, almost exclusively, for about a year, they embarked on their first tour of the United States, and Canada. They saw buffalos posted on hilltops, armies of windmills, and lots of lovely people who let the music run their blood in reverse.”
There you go.
Another whimsical music first here on enlightened conflict.
Enjoy.
600
Sep 10th
so.
Lets call this hump day in the world of writing for a blog. well. At least my blog world.
Yup. This post means I am officially on Wednesday in my blog world.
This is my 600th post, article, diatribe and/or nonsensical scribbling.
500 to 600 were the most painful and most difficult century of writing yet. Just like a Wednesday in a workweek it just seemed to linger but now that it is over I only see a good run toward the weekend.
It was painful in that in taking a job my writing time got all discombobulated (a great excuse to type that word).
And it was that same job where my laptop and thumb drives were stolen and a lot of writing that was waiting in the wings was lost and I needed to start from scratch.
And it was during this time I learned it is difficult, if not impossible, to recreate.
Well. Or at least I cannot recreate.
Or maybe better said … my creation process has nothing to do with going back in time and rebuilding a thought … I create because I care about something. Recreating that feeling is next to impossible. I write in the moment and with a thought or I don’t write.
And it was slightly painful because life got in the way a little too much … I had just as many writing thoughts (I have just as many random slips of paper with a brief thought scribbled on them) but I didn’t have as many writing times to expound on the thought (and that is slightly frustrating).
But I think that is what Life hump days are all about. Getting there and being able to look forward and gain momentum.
Maybe I needed 501 to 599 to remind myself I like writing. I like thinking. And I like sharing what I am thinking. And I need to find the time to build out these thoughts.
I do know I need to find the time to go deeper with some of the thoughts I have had. It isn’t enough to write about today’s economy in 5 paragraphs. It needs 5 pages.
Anyway.
As I reach another writing milestone I (of course) started thinking about how to share a deeper thought. Everyone may chuckle over this but the number 600 may be the most meaningless number in the world. It is absolutely not a milestone for anything. So I had to be creative but in doing so I actually was able to tap into something I truly value (history & historical perspective) as well as tap into something that conceptually I like but practically I sometimes find people put too much effort & energy behind (a deeper meaning to yin & yang).
600? Let’s visit 600 BC.
Apparently the Tao Te Ching, roughly translated as The Book of the Way and its Virtue, was written around 600 BCE by Taoist sage Laozi (or Lao Tzu, “Old Master”), while the book is central in Chinese religion, not only for Taoism but Chinese Buddhism, it has been a source of inspiration for books, philosophical babbling and business acumen (which is a little scary conceptually). I knew it had hit some fairly absurd heights when “the Tao of Pooh” (which admittedly is a creative little book) was published.
Regardless.
Lao Tzu (the author) has become a quote machine. How awesome is that? 600 BC and he is still being quoted. I can only hope that 2600 years from now someone is quoting me (I won’t hold my breath … but you gotta have some dreams).
But as I write about 600 (and use 600 BC as my platform for a thought here) I could do worse than spotlighting Lao Tzu as a move toward writing the next 400 articles & posts.
Good ole Laozi (also Lao Tse, Lao Tu, Lao-Tzu, Lao-Tsu, Laotze, Lao Zi, Laocius among a number of other variations … which, by the way, is also inspirational in that maybe some day if I keep writing there will be derivatives of my own name beyond Brewski, Brucifer, Bru – or Brew) was a philosopher of ancient China and is the central figure in Taoism.
And Laozi literally means “Old Master.” Laozi is revered as a deity in most religious forms of Taoism. Taishang Laojun is a title for Laozi in the Taoist religion, which refers to him as “One of the Three Pure Ones.”
Now.
For inspiration at 600 that is not bad. It certainly gives us all something to aim for.
An objective.
A spot on the horizon to keep truckin’ toward (although I don’t believe Lao would have said truckin’).
So here is how I celebrate 600 posts.
Taoism and Lao Tzu.
Making philosophical & practical impact.
I am fairly sure I could have chosen a worse objective.
Because it is certainly a better objective than suggesting I wanted to make my blog world-renowned.
Why? (even though that objective may appear more attainable).
Well. Think about it.
First.
Perspective.
In 1922 there were 600 radio stations in the USA.
There are now about 13,500 give or take several dozen.
And there are about 44,000 radio stations worldwide.
Second.
Current blog reality.
600 blogs? Shit. I don’t know when there were 600. It sure ain’t now.
All I know is the last number I saw was that there are over 112.8 million English based blogs (does not include all the 72.82 million Chinese blogs).
Given those numbers? I will take my odds of achieving my Lao Tzu objective more so than an objective of making my blog world renowned.
Because I also tend to believe Lao never intended to be “an architect of fate” (to quote someone else instead of Lao). At some point he probably decided that small actions can make a bigger impact so he focused on doing small actions well.
My blog is a small action. And as long as I continue to stand up for what I believe and write about it I have to believe everyone is in some small way an architect of Life. Lao started small. What the heck. Don’t we all?
That said.
I better get started on 601+.
libyan public relations
Aug 3rd
Every once in awhile you read something really wacky. So wacky it becomes slightly hard to believe.
This one?
Moammar Gaddafi is looking for some PR help.
No shit.
A New Report Says Moammar Gaddafi Is Shopping For a New York PR Firm To Help Him Clean Up His Image.
Really Moammar? Are you serious?
It gets even better.
“Libyan Dictator Seeks Rep To Oversee Press Briefings and Prove His Claim To Power.”
Awesome.
“prove his claim to power.” Right. Public relations is gonna do that.
Here is what his new PR agency is going to be asked to do:
- polish his homicidal image
- help to counter the fallout of a civil war that threatens to topple his regime
- someone to head daily press briefings (and look good in Kevlar i may add)
- spread the good word on the tyrant’s “moral” and “legal” claims to power.
Ok. I cannot wait to see who would step up to the plate for this task.
Apparently this became news when a pitch letter an official in Tripoli emailed to New York and London agencies this month went public.
Ali Darwish of the Libyan Ministry of Information asked prospective reps to “present our just and fair case to the world” and claim the moral high ground. “We have good moral, political and legal logic supporting our position as the legitimate, sovereign and popular government of Libya. We also have proofs [sic] in written, audio and video forms to take our case forward,” he added, according to the pitch letter. Darwish even claims NATO attacks, which began in March in response to the regime slaughtering protesters, resulted from bad spin. “Libya has been under an unjustified media and PR attack which led to NATO’s military involvement,” says the email.
Alrighty then.
And I have some swamp land I want to sell in Florida to someone.
Anyone think a PR firm could help me?
So far there are no takers.
In the category of “let me state the obvious” .. Ronn Torossian of SWPR states “I highly doubt any PR firm will positively respond to this request.”
Geez.
I would have thought firms would have been lining up.
But. Whoever is interested better hurry up.
The somewhat not-so-solid government seeks to move quickly. “We can formalize any deal with your organization through a third party to help move things forward fast.” said the initial letter
And just in case you question the story. Libya officials have confirmed it.
According to an official with the Libyan Mission … “The government is trying to have the support of people outside the country,” said Dia Abubaker Alhutmany.
So. While this is absolutely crazy I got to thinking that maybe in some far corner of the PR world would believe this is an acceptable challenge for the field of Public Relations.
Therefore with this fascinating piece of gossip I swung my curiosity over to the public relations experts and sought out advice on whether Libya could solve their problems through PR.
Some expert states (which I thought was quite appropriate given my curiosity search) “Can public relations solve the world’s problems? Of course not. But can it solve all the problems for your business that appear out of the blue in the middle of the night and leave you pacing the floor? Definitely! Even the toughest cases can be fixed with a little savvy and wit.”
So with that I looked at his criteria (in italics below) and said “whoa, maybe Moammar has the right idea!”
Solvable issues (per a PR expert not me):
1. Freudian Slips
Your highly rated politician client is enjoying the love of the public and the comfort of a sure win come election day. Then one day he decides to foam at the mouth and manages to offend half his voters. Comfortable lead no longer exists.
Even worse, your opponent takes the gaffe and runs with it! They use it on every commercial, every print and Internet ad, during every speech. Before it gets out of control, get your foul-mouthed pundit out in public view to start making apologies and kissing babies! Then, have him publicly mingle with whichever group he offended to show what a great guy he is.
OMG.
This is Gaddafi! Moammar. Don’t hire anyone. Here is your solution. And every morning you should wake up, look in the mirror and say “gosh, I am a great guy.” A good way to start every morning.
2. Internal Rumblings
Times are tough, and your employees are naturally worried about layoffs. Once that rumor starts bouncing around the company walls, it could quickly lead to insubordination and employees bailing. If you pick up even the slightest of rumors your employees believe the company is having problems, hold an intervention to stave off any unforeseen problems it could cause! Reassure everyone their jobs are safe, and if there ARE problems within the company, be perfectly frank about them.
OMG (part 2).
Moammar. Do you see yourself in this situation? Stop shooting missiles and call everyone together and reassure them and, well, be frank. Once again. No need to hire anyone. You can do this (just leave guns at home in case you are tempted).
3. False Information
What a nightmare! Once in a while, something gets out in the press, be it a rumor or misunderstood info, that can totally derail your campaign. I honestly think this is one of the worst issues you can face as you probably had absolutely nothing to do with it! There’s no other option, though, other than to not only assure your customers the information is false but to also publicly show why the rumor is just that, a vicious rumor.
OMG (part 3).
Moammar. This perfectly describes your situation (as you stated in your request for PR help). Silly silly people believing all that false information. If you would just stop beheading all those people and simply publicly show why it is just a vicious rumor instigated by others who are jealous of you I can pretty much guarantee all will be well in the end (and you once again need not hire anyone)
4. Property Damage
When a fire tears through your small warehouse, ruining quite a bit of your product, people are worried their orders won’t get filled. Even worse, the future of your company is in jeopardy.
Of course, you’re not going to let a little fire ruin your life long dream, so you need to let everyone know that business is running as usual. Assure customers that there might be a delay in their order, but you firmly intend on honoring every order. Even though the fire wasn’t your fault, offer a coupon for their next order due to the delayed delivery.
OMA (part 4 excpet this time it is Oh My Allah).
Moammar, dude, you are surrounded by property damage these days. And not just fires. And I know for sure you did not personally start any of them. Offer people coupons. It will be great. Problem solved.
So.
In the end.
Maybe Moammar isnt that dumb.
Maybe hiring a PR firm truly is the answer to his problems.
please note:
(what a frickin’ wacky world we live in)
car bomb hits close to home
Jul 13th
Whew.
Ok. Sometimes life slips up behind you and smacks you in the back of your head. And smacks you big.
And it is sneaky (in a really really mean way).
Imagine being on the internet and a headline pops up:
Stephen Everhart, Professor At American University In Cairo, Dead In Car Bomb Explosion
And this Stephen Everhart is your friend.
He is just Steve not Stephen to you.
Not in a headline about a car bomb.
He was a friend.
A friend you have maybe not seen every year but a friend you made a long time ago and have kept in touch with no matter the location or distance or whatever. A friendship built upon mutual respect. A friendship built upon the fact we could ask each other an opinion in an email or a brief phone call and know you would get a good smart answer (or point of view).
My friend was a professor at the American University In Cairo at the time he died (but he didn’t die in Cairo). Steve was probably one of the smartest guys I know. I had an undergraduate economics degree and he would humor me into helping me understand all the voodoo he knew.
I liked that our debates made at least a dozen of the articles I have written better. He had a habit of sharpening thoughts I didn’t even know had a dull edge.
And, I admit, I felt smarter when he would drop me a random email asking me to share what I thought about something he was thinking about.
And even more important to me.
He was fascinated by my projectglobalgeneration and the whole global education initiative idea (so I kinda felt like I was on to something).
Along with his smarts he had the wonderful enviable combination of a huge ego balanced by an everyday humbleness.
And he was funny.
And delightfully immature in a guy sort of way and incredibly insightful in others.
And all of those things made him one of those guys you could have a cold PBR with at a dive bar and then watch him stand up at an international Alternative Energy conference in Southeast Asia duking it out with one of the world’s smartest economists the next day.
And he was my friend.
What happened?
He was killed on June 23rd in Baghdad when his diplomatic convoy hit a roadside bomb near an Iraqi university. He was only 52 (and I turn 52 this weekend so it kinda hits hard).
He leaves behind a wife (another professor) and three children.
Steve was with other American educational contractors while visiting a satellite office of Mustansiriyah University in eastern Baghdad. He was working in Iraq with the United States Agency for International Development’s (USAID) Mission acting as a short term federal consultant to foster entrepreneurship education programs in Iraqi business and finance schools – a program that was supported by the Iraqi Ministry of Higher Education.
According to Iraqi police, Shiite militias who operate in the nearby neighborhood of Sadr City were responsible for this attack that killed about 40 others.
He was doing good things when he died. And he was doing something he was passionate about – elevating education (fighting ignorance as he and I used to talk about).
Steve joined the faculty of The American University in Cairo in September 2008 and was an Associate Dean of the School of Business.
He must have invited me at least a dozen times to visit. And he also stepped up to the plate during the recent riots and offered to go get another friend of mine who was visiting Cairo at the time and bring her to his home to get her away from the riots if she wanted.
He had a B.S and M.S. and an M.A. and a Ph.D. (and probably several other acronym degrees) and knew more about finance and economics than maybe the top .0001% of the entire world.
In a statement, the American University in Cairo memorialized Everhart for his, “warmth and intelligence, his affection for his students and colleagues, and the contributions he had already begun to make to a better Egypt.”
He was a smart, funny, likeable, humble, down-to-earth economist who was comfortable in a dive bar, beach chair, board room, convention podium, hammock or international forum using a translator.
And after I wrote all of this I received an email from another good friend of Steve’s who said it maybe better than I could ever say it:
“I understand the words I’m reading BUT he was smarter than this. He’s certainly braver than me…trying to raise Iraqi business school standards? He certainly had a passion. He did what he believed in.
Dammit. Dammit.
One of the smartest guys I’ve known with an ego to match…but it all wore so well. And, he had enough humility to respect the opinions of us ad/marketing types. He could be charming and scary smart all at the same time. Great combination. One of the most memorable people I’ve spent time with.”
Amen.
Better than anything I could have ever imagined writing about Steve.
I never met his current wife.
So if she reads this I hope she forgives me this one last thought.
I met Steve when he was just stepping out of his second marriage (I think). Already one of the preeminent economists in America (soon to be on his way to Washington DC to serve on a government economist committee) I asked him what he did on his vacation.
“I went to the Caribbean.”
(me) “oh, where.”
“Hedonism 3 resort.”
I almost fell out of my chair laughing (even better is I didn’t really know if he had or was kidding).
And then he started talking through an econometric model he had just designed and we were talking business.
He was smart (really smart).
He was a normal every day guy.
He was a good friend who I had the utmost respect for.
And I am gonna miss him.
so
Jan 10th
So. I have missed writing and posting here on my site. And I miss it on a couple of levels.
First is that I just enjoy it. it is fun to provide opinions and point of views on a random set of ongoing topics and issues. It keeps the mind fresh and, in general, supports my overall point of view that being able to discuss a variety of things is more interesting than maybe being the most knowledgeable person in the world on one topic (say … like … snails for example).
Second is now I am not just writing for me (now that i decided to reenter the corporate world).
I am part of an organization where not only my style gets edited but also the stronger points of view need to be ‘vetted’ to fit within the organizational collective view. That’s not necessarily bad but it has one HUGE downside (to me and my own personality) … it slows things down. And has diminishing returns.
Now. I tend to believe my stuff could use a great editor. I am a wordy guy. But I also believe the ratio between ‘get it out smartly but not perfectly” to “smartly and closer to perfectly” is a very tight ratio.
Regardless.
My solution? I am just going to start posting the raw post here. My words. My thoughts. Uncensored. And then at some point the tighter more censored version will most likely appear on the agency site.
I had been hoping to just have all of you faithful readers simply shift to my new jobs’s (the agency’s) website and read what I write (plus whatever other smart random things we tend to write) but I think I will wait until I have ironed out the style/edit issue and stuff i like is being posted there.
So.
Here we go.
Let’s see if I can get back in the saddle.
