dependence on women in life

“I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels.

Life’s a bitch.

You’ve got to go out and kick ass.”

—

Maya Angelou

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“Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade since it consists principally of dealings with men.”

―

Joseph Conrad

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So.

Feminism and gender <women> inequality will be inextricably tied to the end of time.

I will get to feminism but let me take on inequality first.

While we flippantly talk about opportunities for women and young girls and how they can be whatever they want to be reality suggests otherwise.

And it does so for a variety of reasons.

But you know what? I could talk until I am blue in the face about the barriers women face and … well … men will not care <for the most part>.

They may shrug their shoulders, maybe say “gosh, that isn’t fair” and even say “boy, we should do something about that.”

Again and again it seems women are forced to … well … convince everyone else <men> that there’s something in it for them if they actually became involved.

That seems crazy.

That said.

A report from the McKinsey Global Institute finds that greater gender parity in the workforce <pay, hours worked, and access to full-time jobs> would also benefit the entire country’s economy. The report makes the case for both the government and businesses to take a more proactive role in bringing about gender equality.

I would also point out some sobering statistics to men.

It is inevitable that women will actually earn MORE than men in the future <so, men, get your head wrapped around that>.

Women outnumber men on college campuses <men earn only about 42% of the degrees>.

Teenage boys in wealthy countries are 50% more likely than girls to fail all there basic subjects in school – math, reading & science.

Women with no high school education dropped from 32.9% in 1979 to 11.4%, compared to men at 12.4%, in 2013.

In 1960 among never married American adults 25-34 there were 139 men with jobs for every 100 women <with or without jobs>.

In 2012 there were only 91 employed men for every 100 women. This gets worse for African American men … not even counting employed or not employed … there are only 83 men <not in jail> for every 100 women. In some inner cities it drops to only 50 black men with jobs for every 100 women.

Working class labor intensive jobs <which males tend to dominate> are decreasing globally while occupations which women tend to dominate are projected to grow.

In America pay for men with only a high school diploma fell 21% in real terms from 1979 to 2013 <women actually increased 3%>.

For those who dropped out of high school it fell by 34% <women dropped 12%>.

<primary source: The Economist>

What is tamping down the growth of women professionally, and income wise, is that despite the sobering male work numbers the majority of leadership <where jobs, pay & employee services are decided> are made up of old white men <95% of Fortune 500 CEOs are male as well as 93% of government heads>.

Suffice it to say.

Men are getting stupider. Men are less qualified for the work force. And, yet, men maintain the reins on this horse & buggy situation.

Boy oh boy.

Does anyone doubt this situation will change once women assume more leadership roles? <and we wonder why old white men scoff at feminism and women inequality in the workplace? … said sarcastically>

Ok.

Feminism may be one of the most mis-discussed and misunderstood words & topics of my generation.

Feminism has lots of company in the tricky business because causes, in general, are tricky things.

Tricky in that bringing them up publicly tend to bring out the worst in … well … everyone.

Some people balk as they protect their own interest.

Some people balk feeling like the cause implies some sense of entitlement.

Some people balk over an implied ‘victim mentality’ aspect.

Some people become obstinate in their approval.

Some people become obstinate in their disapproval.

And mostly tricky because everyone would benefit from a little more education on any topic and, yet, causes almost seem to shut down our inherent listening & learning muscles.

Causes are discussions. Discussions about important issues. I imagine I could point out it is tricky to discuss something if you are either shouting or not listening.

Regardless.

Feminism, while about equality, is about women and status and roles.

And maybe because I sometimes shake my head at how women sometimes speak of equality for women and feminism in general I begin my own thoughts where I believe the discussion in general should begin:

• Do we doubt our dependence on women?

• Do we doubt a woman’s value?

• Do we doubt a woman’s importance <beyond reproduction>?

Simplistically the answer most people would give is ‘no, we do not doubt’ to all of the above. So, surprisingly, you would tend to believe feminism is off to a roaring start.

Next.

This one may be the hard part. I tend to believe many of the discussions are grounded in the wrong place … they begin with inequality.

Inequality, to me, is never where I would begin.

Why?

Seems like I would want to start any male/female discussion with simply assuming everyone is equal upfront <and then move from there>.

This permits us to discuss maximizing what should be rather than figuring out how to ‘fix something.’

I admit.

The discussion of feminism seems mired down in emotional haranguing where rational simplicity seems to be a more fruitful path.

I admit.

I love the fact that Canada’s new Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has named a cabinet that is equally balanced between men and women.

The ministers – 15 women and 15 men – are mostly aged under 50, in a team marking both a generational change and a commitment to reflecting Canada’s diversity.

Asked to explain his gender parity promise, he answered: “Because it’s 2015.”

I love the actions but there is still an attitudinal issue.

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“I’m all for empowerment and equal wages and the such.

Just don’t expect me to understand or care about feminism as a movement.

I’ll be honest, I don’t care. It’s got nothing to do with me.”

–

Corey Milne of WhatCulture.com

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“It’s got nothing to do with me.” <what a fucking idiot>

That sums up the biggest issue female equality faces.

Men and their attitudes. Its not me. I am all for equality. I do not disempower women. It is never “me” it is always someone else … and therefore it is always up to someone else to change things.

This is crazy.

Frickin’ crazy.

Of course someone is going to point out one of the few jobs that are not mainstream typical for a woman … but in general … any women can do anything that  a man can do in the work world.

Reflect upon that as you ponder equal pay for women.

Ok.

Ok.

Let’s set aside can women ‘do as good a job as men’ <which, frankly is not the issue> and go to the root issue of men’s attitude … “their work is not of the same value as mine”.

Really?

Really???

Rather than theoretical pontificating or made up analysis of data … how about a real case study?

Iceland, 24 October 1975

Sparked by the activism of the Red Stockings radical women’s group, 90% of Iceland’s women went on strike on this day to protest against men’s exploitation of women’s free labour within the home and women’s underpaid, underacknowledged and underpromoted labour beyond it. For one day, they didn’t go to work and refused to do the childcare, cooking, cleaning and family admin. Iceland ground to a halt, as it would if women in any country did the same. It demonstrated just how much of society ran on women’s uncredited free work. More than 30 years on Iceland is famed as one of the most egalitarian countries in the world. Perhaps we should all take a tip from the Red Stockings.

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‘Well-behaved women seldom make history.’

 

———

 

Nope, Marilyn Monroe didn’t say it. The historian Laurel Thatcher Ulrich said it.

 

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Someone has to do the care work in an economy, otherwise nothing else works, but because care is not valued, it is either badly paid or not paid at all. On some level, we still believe that professional nurses, caretakers and child minders are simply extending their natural family role as nurturers. It’s not a real job, “anyone can do it”.

At least … any woman.

But let’s take the women out of the home and into the economy.

Calculations about how much growth would go up if women and girls had the same opportunities as men are important. They show us that gender equality is not just a question of fairness but something that everyone could benefit from.

But they are also problematic in that they don’t acknowledge the economic contributions that girls and women are already making.

When married women in the west entered the workforce, they started to devote more time to the kind of work that is counted and less time to the kind of work that isn’t. This dramatically increased the GDP in the western world.

But was this increase accurate?

Because no one had bothered to quantify housework, we might have overvalued the actual increase in wealth. The calculations we make today about how much wealth would increase if more women in developing economies took up paid work might be wrong for the same reason.

We need a new economic story. One that stresses the need for change, without ignoring the economic contributions women and girls make today.

Girls and women are not an untapped economic resource in the world; their work is the invisible structure that keeps societies and economies together. But they haven’t freely chosen this role. And they are not being paid, compensated or acknowledged for it.

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Well.

That would suggest that we are not only dependent upon women for keeping the behind the scenes world running but we are also dependent upon them for the future economic success of the world.

<how many men ran to the liquor cabinet after reading that?>

I shared the economic stuff because, well, going back to the beginning … I felt like while gender equality kind of seems like a no-brainer I had to point out ‘what is in it for us.”

I hate having to do so.

But the end justifies the means.

And, that said, let me mention where I believe feminism seems to go awry <at least with men>.

It seems to far too often the discussion devolves into some bra-burning diatribe or strident loudly asserted  statements that women are better than men … or some other ludicrous ‘women are unique’ diatribe.

This all gets in the way of the simple fact that men seem to struggle with the fairly simple concept that feminism attempts to address unfair discrimination against women and attempts to create gender equality.

It is not a ‘better than’ discussion <although I do understand the intent is to ‘build value perceptions beyond current belief> but rather an equality discussion.

Yes.

Sometimes the discussion can get a little ludicrous. But even I will admit that in some way … even in its absurdity there is value. It only <most often> becomes absurd because without the absurdity it may be ignored.

Absurdity or not … issues of equality and civility concern everyone.

I’m not sure how anyone can be part of a society that treats women, even if it is only occasional, like ‘lesser thans’ in some way and say “it isn’t me.”

It is me.

It is you.

It is us.

And me, you & us should care.

And we should recognize it is a real issue and , consequentially, a real problem.

This certainly doesn’t mean every man should devote their life to fighting gender inequality. Nor does this mean that every time you encounter one of the more absurd aspects of the feminism debate you should stand and applaud.

It just means that you are more aware.

More aware that we are more dependent upon women than maybe we perceive.

More aware that gender inequality more often than not arises in more subtle nuanced ways than in some loud obvious behaviors.

More aware that remaining silent in the face of gender inequality permits misguided behavior to thrive.

More aware that we should be concerned with the society we live in because … well … we live in this society <as do our girlfriends, wives, daughters, nieces, etc.>.

More aware that even though it doesn’t appear to affect you … it surely does affect you <whether you like it or not>.

The future of the world is dependent upon a number of things … women being one. An important one … but one. I say that to insure I am not an extremist and at the same time I will suggest that addressing gender inequality benefits us, all of us <including men> economically, socially, psychologically and societally.

That last sentence alone should be the rallying call for feminism and gender equality.