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don’t find your passion

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“It’s messing people up, this social pressure to “find your passion” and “know what it is you want to do”. It’s perfectly fine to just live your moments fully, and marvel as many small and large passions, many small and large purposes enter and leave your life. For many people there is no realization, no bliss to follow, no discovery of your life’s purpose. This isn’t sad, it’s just the way things are.

Stop trying to find the forest and just enjoy the trees. “

Sally Coulter

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“Passion has little to do with euphoria and everything to do with patience. It is not about feeling good. It is about endurance. Like patience, passion comes from the same Latin root: pati. It does not mean to flow with exuberance. It means to suffer.”

Mark Z. Danielewski

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I originally wrote this piece, Don’t Find Your Passion, in September 2014 and it is possibly my most unpopular piece I have written to date. Yesterday I felt slightly vindicated when Psychology Today just published a piece called “Why ‘Follow Your Passion’ is Terrible Advice.”

I have always struggled with the ‘find your passion’ advice. Ok. In fact. I believe most ‘find your passion’ advice is bullshit. I say its bullshit mostly because passion and excellence are not inextricably intertwined. In fact. Passion and purpose are not inextricably linked. In other words, I may be passionate about something, but may actually suck at doing that ‘something’.

I may be passionate about something, but it doesn’t feed some grand purpose <in the world or even to myself>.

Ok. The sucking thing I mentioned. Think about it this way – maybe I don’t suck at it, but maybe it is just not what I am best at doing.

Let me be clear. I am very happy for those who have a passion for something specific. And I would like to think everyone should be passionate about something. My point is that, unfortunately, the ‘something’ just may not be the thing you build your career and life around because you just may not be good at it enough to master it enough beyond maybe simple competence (but you can still enjoy it).

What makes me think I am qualified to say this whole follow your passion is bullshit? I am not sure I personally have a singular passion … except for thinking. And, boy, let me tell you, that is not a skill you can be paid for in the business world.

Does that mean I have to settle? Of course not.

Getting paid for thinking is a bonus.

But I assume I get paid <when I do get paid> for something I must be good at <or someone wouldn’t pay me>. In other words, I have to actually do something, not just think.

Does this mean I am grumpy or unsatisfied because I am not ‘following my passion’? Nope.

Practically speaking, I understand that what I am passionate about:

<a> there are more brilliant thinkers than I out there in the world, and

<b> thinking without doing has significantly less value than thinking & doing. And by value I mean value to others and, frankly, value to self. The doing shows value. It shows the thinking wasn’t simply some pie in the sky rhetoric which ends up in some ‘nice but impractical’ idea folder gathering dust in some vacant office.

Next. I think the whole ‘find your passion’ or ‘find your purpose’ is overly simple in its guidance because following your passion is tricky.

No.

Let me take that back.

It is actually dangerous. If you are not careful, it can empty you.

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“They told me to pour my heart into everything I do. So that’s what I did, I poured and poured and poured.

Now they ask me why I’m so empty.”

(via florential)

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This is why I am always hesitant to flippantly suggest ‘do what you are passionate about’ or ‘find something you love.’ I tend to suggest ‘find something you are incredibly good at … and see if you love it.’ In fact if you do that not only do you find out what you are really good at, but you also start jettisoning things you don’t like <or are passionate about>.

Next. I sometimes hear people suggest they are passionate about ‘results’ <sales, money, some outcome>. Well. Sorry. That is bullshit <to define passion that way>.

Ok. Maybe it is just lazy living. Lazy in that you take the easy way out when discussing passion or purpose by suggesting a result as validation for value in life and life pursuits.Lazy in that you are using results because you just don’t want to admit you may not exactly like what you are doing.

Sorry.

Some things just cannot be measured. Like … well … passion.

Ok. That said. I am going to let the ‘I am passionate about results’ people off the hook today because the real issue is that society shouldn’t be forcing people to even have to HAVE some grand passion or purpose.

Let’s be clear. Neither passion nor purpose needs to be grandiose.

They can be little – the trees and not the forest type of Life direction.

Because, frankly, life is mostly avoiding run face first into trees or sitting and enjoying a moment under a tree and not seeking some way to fly above and see a forest.

So what would I suggest instead of finding your passion or purpose as a guiding principle?

Seek to maximize the moments the best you can. Seek to find “good” and … well … be happy with good <and this includes just being good at what you do>.

As the initial quote suggests … larger passions and purposes will inevitably glide through different moments. Don’t worry that you do not ‘own’ the larger purpose … just enjoy the little glimpses of passion and purpose … and maybe even the variety.

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“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

J.R.R Tolkien

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What this all really means is that maybe the only decision you truly need to make has nothing to do with some grand passion or huge purpose … but rather simply deciding what to do with the time … the moment. If you do that well … I imagine you will plant a shitload of prosperous trees. And, in the end, will have built a forest for yourself you can be proud of.

Some of you may now be saying “well, shit” now. Don’t. All advice is just that, advice. Ultimately you choose what is best for you. You shouldn’t be using my advice, or anyone’s for that matter, to choose your path for you. Decide what is best for you and, well, go prosper in Life. But. I will suggest I am fairly sure you will be happier if you are doing something you are good at, so maybe start there.

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about resilience, passionate about something, past failed attempts should be avoided, patient quickness, peak moments of clarity, peaking and its inevitable decline, people confuse process and disciplined thinking, People don’t want to feel cheap, people know what is right or wrong, people like watching dinosaurs die, people need some ideology, people need to take a view to face all problems, people of my generation suggest, people seek to find an optimistic interpretation, people throwing their lives away in the desperate hope of finding a shortcut, people use mental short-cuts, people who like to take action, perception alignment, Perceptions don’t always match up to reality, perfect balance of control and freedom, perfect for an opportunity is difficult to show, perfection is crap, perfection is the thief, persepctive on economy, personal creative destruction, personal thoughts, personal value cues, perspective, perspective can help with the complex, philosphy, pin that pops the balloon of value, Pissed Off Gene, pluralism, poetic but flawed example, pooh and Brady, power of words, precondition of any civilization is energy, preoccupied with possibilities, prioritizing actions, probably had to work pretty hard to get people to not only talk about this, problem with being so perfectly of the moment, process is a means to an end, productivity, proudly begins a series of new errors, providing perspective, pry my career out of the jaws of mediocrity, pursuing the way, put failing in perpsective, question you need to ask, questioning the unquestionable, questions that make us sound old, quick to judge off of outcome, quotations, quotes, randomness of life, real action steps, Reality can destroy the dream, reality that may need changing, really good match versus a perfect match, rearranging existing pieces, reason for being, reason why feelings scare us, recognize the choice, recurring aspects and dynamics of civilization, recurring issues, Recurring issues rarely, recurring sources of conflict amongst people, redrawing boundaries, reflect, regrets, regulating affairs of mankind, relationships, remember who you are, resetting the brain, reshaping things in business, resiliency, resiliency and character, resistant to anything that catalyzes it, respect, respect the burden of leadership, responsibility, restless consistency, results, results achieved, results is management criteria, right is right, right words, rise of a new civilization, sadly insightful about Life, safe, safer to stay then go, same collision of civilizations erupted elsewhere, save themselves a lot of aggravation, say it is happening when it isn't, say it is happening when it isn’t, scared, Schumpeter’s natural creative destruction, Second-rate ideas like glorious swellings far more, see different things, see more clearly within the moment, see your own reality, seek out events without fear, Seek to maximize the moments, seek truth, seeking new experiences, seeking the way of truth, self actualization, self determination, self doubt, self esteem through problem solving, self interest decisions, self truth, self worth, Selling out is harder than it looks, serious life decluttering, shades of gray, shaking the etch a sketch, sharing feelings, shortcomings leading to consequences, significant small moment impact, simplicity in life, simplicity seems too chaotic, simplifying to make choices easier, situational no regrets, six impossible things before breakfast, slippery slope, slippery slope of despair, slippery slope of I am not fine, slippery surface of irrelevant brilliance, slow and unfolds, small gestures in trivial looking moments, small group of thoughtful people, smallest actions contribute, smart risk is painful, smart risk taking, so often talk about value in the business world, social pressure to find your passion, social revolutions, social unrest, social upheavals, soft choices, some choices you cannot go back, some minutes truly are key moments, some pie in the sky rhetoric, something more important than fear, sometimes systems work that should not work, sorting out the truth, sounds so trivial, soyoufailed.com, speaking, special insights, specialist, speech, spray every drop, stability model no longer offers that much stability, stand for something within yourself, standing on the uncertainty pedestal, standing up every time we fall down, Start worrying about people who trust you, starting anew, starting fresh, statistics cannot make the decision for you, statistics getting in the way of a good decision, stay or go, stillness in leadership, stimulus reponse, stop and think, stop thinking about what sort of impression you're making, Stop trying to find the forest and just enjoy the trees, stop worrying about, straight lines, straight lines are rare in life, strategy, strength against adversity, strength of character, strength of character to make change, strength of character to not be hasty, stressful decisions, strip away the undoable and identify the doable, struggle between energy and indolence, struggle between vitality and decay, Stuff I Like, stumble upon doing it right, stunning grace in the face of overwhelming life, subconscious influences behavior, super bowl stillness, Surveying the immensity of life, surveying the surging immensity of life, survival machines, swallowing nonsense, take revenge on doubters, teens, that i will be tomorrow, that is life, the ache of the moment, the answers are within you, the die is cast, the discussion is a solution, the immensity of a small moment, the moment before the moment, the most powerful weapon in life is not a mission, the odd moment of beauty where time is not the same, There are no rulebooks, there is no formula for good choices, there was a moment just before, therein lies Life as we know it, think about the immensity of moments, thinking, thinking harder, thinking impossible things, thinking is good, thinking is messy, thinking too much, thinking without doing, this i am today, thoughts, thoughts initiate action, thoughts initiate action and progress, thriving in the moment, time, time and choices, to be sure of you, to slay a dragon you need to believe in dragons, to suffer, tom brady, trapped by fear, trivial moments, trivial moments in bigger life, trust, truth, truth and expectations, truth goggles, truth has never been more difficult to discern, truth is rarely simple, truth is what really happened, truth or lies, truth or nothing, truth to oneself, trying to preserve will lead to stagnation, turn over a new leaf, uncertainty is a bitch, uncertainty takes on geometric proportions, uncomfortably discordant, understanding choices, unintended results, unquestionable, use your imagination, value to self, waiting before the moment, waiting is part fear and part hope, waiting or living, waiting versus living, we all fail, we all have regrets, We all implement some extraordinary genius, we don’t really know what we are doing most of the time, we wished extraordinary genius would rise up more often, what is the alternative, what looks like chaos, what to do when the moment passes, what we have is not what we need, what we need to get us through, what we want is not what we need, what you do with your time, whatever it takes, whatever it takes to cross that dark bridge, when I consider the little space I fill and I see, When I consider the short duration of my life, words, work hard and good things will happen myth, you are not a failure because you fail, you cannot dwell on every moment that slipped by

December 20, 2018 by Bruce

Written by Bruce

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don’t find your passion

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don’t find your passion

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