Don’t give me sob stories
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“Don’t give me sob stories,” she ordered me with sudden vehemence, striking the key words for emphasis.
“Every day people appeal to my emotions.
You can’t govern that way.
It simply isn’t fair.”
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Margaret Thatcher to John Le Carre
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Running a country is hard. Very hard.
Running a business is hard. Very hard.
It doesn’t mean you don’t have good days and it doesn’t mean that all the ‘hard’ doesn’t reap some benefits and joy but … well … hard is hard.
And maybe, just possibly, the hardest part is managing the emotional appeals you are faced with on an almost daily basis.
And I say that while ignoring the inevitable larger events & stories which compound the emotional aspects of leader decision making.
Leading is mostly about the day in and day out responsibility to the greater good and the greater whole. This certainly doesn’t mean you don’t look at the parts and how the parts & pieces are affected but you can’t get too close to individual aspects for fear of … well … a couple of reasons:
First is the functional responsibility a leader has.
The greater responsibility is to the whole and insuring the whole is fair, respected and healthy. There is certainly a responsibility to parts, the germs & healthy cells roaming the lifeblood of the whole, but sometimes I let a germ live because it has lesser consequences to the health of the whole than if I invest in something that makes the already healthier cells even more healthy.
Second is basic perspective.
Research studies clearly show that emotional decisions are often quite irrational and often quite … well … bad <or maybe better said … less than optimal>. A leader has the difficult responsibility to maintain perspective … even in the face of a crescendo of criticisms demanding ‘this situation is unique.” The optics of a good leader often looks bad.
Aloof. Disconnected. Unempathetic.
The greater responsibility is to the whole perspective and insuring what is fair and respectful to the whole.
This is going to sound bad … really bad in fact.
<… I am taking a deep breath here>
But good leaders have a sense for “this too will pass” and simply pass on engaging with the individual engagement demand of the moment.
Yes. You acknowledge it and then ignore it.
To be clear. You don’t always make the right call and you don’t always get it right but the intent is 99% of the time purposefully not engaging to maintain perspective.
All that said.
Disconnecting from the emotional sob story, while still remaining connected to empathetic reasoning, may be one of the most difficult aspects of leading.
I don’t care if its 350 million people, 350 people or 35 people this tug of war between caring but not caring too much is constant and challenging. In addition it is a constant battle for self survival.
When thinking about this … inevitably what I believe most of us every day schmucks struggle to understand is the perspective.
Most people view things “I” up … and a leader has to look “we” down.
In other words … “I” has specific needs and I am willing to think about insuring other “I’s” have the same needs met. There is nothing wrong with this and it certainly can insure some healthy altruistic attitudes & behavior. But it does not reflect good leadership thinking.
In other words … “we” have larger needs and I am willing to sacrifice some of what some “I’s” want <and even, unfortunately, need in some cases> to insure the “we” needs are met. There is nothing wrong with this and, when done well, the greater whole prospers and is, in general, happy.
But it isn’t easy.
It is really hard.
And suffice it to say “ruling” by ignoring emotional appeals is more fair but it is still emotionally draining to a good leader.
Whether the 350 million, 350 or the 35 recognize it … there are many days when the 1, the leader, leaves the office with a heavy heart. And it is not heavy because 349,999,900 people, 341 people or 34 people went to sleep that day feeling pretty good about their day and their needs & wants & hopes … but because the few with a true sob story went to sleep that day sobbing.
You govern and lead by what is fair to the whole.
That’s just the way it is.
And just as Margaret Thatcher did … I would vehemently emphasize this business truth to anyone.
But.
That doesn’t mean I don’t think she went home some nights with the weight of someone’s emotional appeal on her mind.
That’s what I thought about today after I read this quote from Margaret Thatcher.
Oh.
And I also thought about whether I was fair and maintained the balance as a leader. I am not sure. I take some solace in the belief that almost every leader wonders the same thing.
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growth, meaningless non-business drivel, measurement of failure, measuring generational attitudes, measuring generational behavior, measuring global education, measuring life, mediocre depths of the business world, meeting the challenges of concentration, meetings & brainstorming situations, meetings where I knew I would have to sit, mental attitudinal stuff, mentally withdrawn from their jobs, mentioning business books, messaging, midst of change leaders kind of make it up as they go, milestones, miserable and pissed off to shiny and happy, misguided things as a leader, miss the simplicity in life, missing out on what life has to offer, mission statements, misuses the entire concept of brand, misusing words, mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, moments are like a balance sheet, moments of passion, moral compass, moral compass and doing the right thing, moral fiber, more honest online, more important than the function, more productive employee base, most of us truly have never hit bottom, most people cannot recognize simple solutions, Most recently on innovation, most things in life are not black or white, motivated by a desire to achieve, motivates employees, motivation, motivation and business, Motivation is intrinsic, mutual chemistry check, My advice to leaders, myopic and evasive, narcissistic theme, need to think a little bit harder, negative employee situations, negative thread running through an organization, negativity in the workplace, negativity is like a magnet, Negativity motivation and business, never a good ingredient in the formula for happiness, never wonder who you really are, new heights of personal branding absurdity, no formulas nor are there any checklists, no matter how talented you, no need to make up something new, no one believes in simplicity anymore, no one says you failed any more, no one wants to trust chaos, no scientist who can tell you how to create an idea, no substitute for judgment, no such thing as global idea, nobody’s life is perfect, nor have I discussed brands or branding, not a lot of glitter in refocusing, not a quantity of words person, not about how much money I can make, not about perceptions but rather realities, not because of the employees, not convinced negativity in the workplace, not everyone can give good advice, Not everyone can lead, Not feature-driven leadership, not having enough time to, not ingenuity but character, not just follow in our footsteps, not meeting an objective is not failure, not on glitter but on the grind, not run out of things to be dissatisfied about, not suggesting this is the easy way, note the part that really sucks, nothing beats experience, nothing is original, numbed to the people shit, numbers are facts, numbers are facts nonsense, numbers are not accountable, numbers can play a role, numbers show possibilities, numbers will confess anything, objective isn’t to make employees happy, obligation to do, obligation to do the right thing, obsessed with time and maximizing it, odds are you are not unique, often in some very absurd ways, ogilvy on hiring, old but not old, older experienced people who know how to transform. experienced but flexible, once doubt enters it takes on huge proportions, one day you’ll forget why, One does not set out to catch a panther with a mousetrap, one foot in history one foot in future, One Monkey’s Uncle, One of my career goals, one of the most demanding and most rewarding, one step at a time, one worthwhile thing in my career, ongoing search for the right words, online friends, only 13% of the global workforce is properly engaged, only few find the way, open up the listening box, or a people problem, ordinary life with extraordinary responsibilities, ordinary people don’t think they are remarkable, organization not aligned, organization synergy, organizational, organizational behavior, organizational change, organizations, organizations are living orgamisms, Organizations will slow to think, organizing chaos, original ideas, original ideas are typically nuances of existing, Originality is a real thing, our obsession with time, overcoming optimism, painting a smile on their face, part attitude and a lot of behavior, part of a leader’s burden is, partially about businesses, partially about marketing, partner, partnership, pay attention to these 5 things your business, peak moments of clarity, peer pressure makes any time wasting, people confuse process and disciplined thinking, people get confused about simple, People have higher expectations the bigger the title, People need to know your price, people performance, people trying to improve themselves, people who abuse buzzwords, people who give best advice have been through the most, People who use them are covering up their ideas, people with more wisdom. people who have experienced more, people won't be sure that you have done anything at all, People working toward a common business purpose, perception map assumes everyone is equal until proven otherwise, perfect for an opportunity is difficult to show, perfection is crap, Perfection is in nuances, perfection is the thief, perfection procrastination, performance, Perhaps luck exists, permanently dissatisfied company, personal branding, personal choice, personal creative destruction, personal development journey, personal direction, personal strength, personal thoughts, perspective can help with the complex, Persuasion happens to be an art, philosphy, Pick your moments, please tell me what you think you are good at, pockets of synergy, point of annoyance, point where everyone uses it just to sound like, popularized by a Dilbert, position where bullshit can hinder success, positive energy, positively affecting society, power of words, powerful words, practical approach to distinctive positioning, pragmatic business perspective, predictions, pressure to maximize time is actually leading to minimizing time, prior to a meeting they need to deliver on exactly that within the meeting, prior to even getting in an interview, prioritizing actions, prioritizing what is right or wrong, process, process for implementing effective creativity, process is a means to an end, productivity, Products & services are brands, project global generation, promise you are offering to anyone, proposes that businesses should, provides some structure and focus, providing perspective, prudent growth strategies, purpose I don’t mean some altruistic vision, purposeful fragmentation, pursue or find our destination, pursuing the way, Push back invites push back, put failing in perpsective, put what you think on the table, putting pressure on yourself with to-do lists, quality versus quantity online, quest for purpose, question my employee management skills, questioning the unquestionable, questions, quickly articulating the stake you are putting in the ground, quite surprised to see how often common sense, quotations, quotes, randomness of life, rare to make complicated simple, Rationalization and defensiveness obstruct progress, reach for the stars, real business shit, real counterproductive negativity, reason for being, reason to believe, recognize employee fatigue or stress, recognize that business is about dollars and cents, recognize the limitations of their actual talent, recognizing limitations to talent, recruits can choose their own work, referencing personal branding, Refind the nothingness, refind their mojo, Refind your business mojo, Refinding risk is about insuring your business soul is not lazy, refinding the company’s true relevance, refinding the risk muscle, refinding your mojo in business, Reflection on strategy expertise Discussions, reflections upon the moment, refreshing their original ideals and ideas, regrets, relationships, relevant to Life, remind themselves of when they had nothing, repeat something over and over again, report on & assess employees, research, research cultural shifts, resilience, resiliency, resiliency and character, resonate with an engaged employee base, respect, respect for individual choice, responsibilities, responsibility, restless consistency, results, results achieved, results is management criteria, resumes are loaded with meaningless action verbs, resurrecting dormant attributes, Resurrection is about shaking the etch a sketch, Resurrection is hard, right but wrong, right is right, right words, risk, risk aversion, Risk is always an interesting topic, risk of doing the right thing, risk that it will actually work, ROI versus imagination, roy spence, ruling by ignoring emotional appeals is more fair, Running a business is hard, safe, safe business decision, safe business is the riskiest business you can do, safe marketing is the riskiest marketing you can do, say it is happening when it isn’t, Say something meaningful in an interesting way, say thanks and get a shrug, say that something is happening when it is, saying it is fine when it is not, saying the right words, scared, seamlessly step into, see 'bullshit' in the dictionary, see a diminishing ability in leadership to effectively deal, see within the circumstances, see your own reality, seek every way possible to complicate our lives, seek out events without fear, seek to invest their energies in a way, seek truth, seeking the way of truth, seeks the advice of marketing wizards, self actualization, self doubt, self esteem through problem solving, self truth, self worth, self-help gurus, self-improvement people, selfishness, selfishness and greed tend to be pushed off to the side, selling people ONLY the things that, selling truth, sends the wrong message to everyday people, Senior manager flaws, Senior people are supposed to be role models, sense of interdependence with each other, serious life decluttering, seriousness of the circumstances they face, shades of gray, share authority without losing it, share some thoughts about managing perceptions, shared thinking for businesses, sharing experiences, shitload of managers misread, shopping behavior, short term concentration capabilities, shortcomings leading to consequences, should not involve anything close to narcissism, show proof it was fucking stupid, showcasing character, silly expectations, simple, simple is hard, simple isn’t the least, simple solutions are often the best solutions, simplicity, simplicity has gone the way of the dodo, simplicity in life, simplicity is an acquired taste, Simplicity just ain’t easy to explain, simplicity of solution, simplicity seems too chaotic, simplicity takes remarkable effort, simplifying to make choices easier, simply encouraging an addictive relationship, simply isn’t fair, Sincerity, sinister slippery bacteria affecting your common sense, six impossible things before breakfast, skills, slammed donuts in the business environment, slippery slope, slippery slope of despair, slippery slope of I am not fine, slippery surface of irrelevant brilliance, slowing down actually makes us more ethical, small gestures in trivial looking moments, smallest actions contribute, so many emails in my junk mail, so many varieties of risk to consider, So much of modern life seems to be about more, so much to do I can barely keep my head above water, so what do we do, social media, social perfection, social priorities to economic priorities, soft choices, solace in the belief that almost every leader wonders the same thing, solutions, some alignment on vocabulary, Some branding expert, Some of these words are addictive, some personal attitudes are next to impossible to change, some simplistic reward positive behavior, some wars are worth fighting, someone just frickin’ lead, someone understands they have value, someone will be unhappy about something at any given time, something more important than fear, something to think about, Sometimes managing perceptions is all about making the people who need to believe, sometimes systems work that should not work, somewhere above the least and significantly below the most, somewhere between the world of planning, sorting out the truth, soul in business, soul is defined by a combination of fame & fortune, sounds like a ball buster who is never satisfied, soyoufailed.com, speak after listening, speaking, specialist, spinal tap and marketing, spinal tap marketing, spiral of loneliness and despair, spittoons if you would like, squeezed out by a let's-play-it-safe attitude, stand for something within yourself, standard business practice, standing on the uncertainty pedestal, standing up every time we fall down, start thinking about what could be, statistical decision theory, statistics, statistics cannot make the decision for you, statistics getting in the way of a good decision, statistics of death, stay or go, stay the course with solid ideals, still emotionally draining to a good leader, stimate that active disengagement, stimulus, stimulus reponse, stop and think, straight lines, straight lines are rare in life, strategies tend to be less esoteric and more practical, strategy, strength against adversity, strength of character, strength of character to make change, stressful decisions, striking the key words for emphasis, strip away the undoable and identify the doable, struggle between energy and indolence, struggle between vitality and decay, struggle to define the nuances in an interview, struggle to think of anything more miserable than, struggled to adapt to the change, stuck someplace that isn’t moving toward where, Stuff I Like, stumble upon doing it right, stunning grace in the face of overwhelming life, style more important than substance, style over substance questions, subconscious influences behavior, Subconsciously is galling, substance versus style, success in resurrection, success of ROI, success often resides in the past, suggesting we not look back at the horizon, surprised when I say I don’t read a lot of business books, swallowing nonsense, symbolic dynamics, Synergy exists within almost every organization, synergy is about absorbing nontraditional ideas and building upon them, systems remain stagnant, take revenge on doubters, takes focus, talk far enough up to them, talking, talking about how you promoted synergy, tangible display of hope, tangled ball of string, tangled up people, team is good, telling the truth, telling the truth in marketing is hard, telling the truth is not impossible, that could mean you just got everybody together for donuts twice a week, that i will be tomorrow, that is a Business Truth, that which is simple is valuable, the absence of truth, the answers are within you, the art of procrastinating, the best interest of the people, the bullshit becomes even more meaningless, the competitive edge to being mindful, the core of your business character, the entanglement of nuances, The exception, the futurist, the grind, The land was ours before we were the land’s, the leader, the mad scientists of creativity selling a formula, the more powerful will be the smaller players, the most powerful weapon in life is not a mission, the myth of the proprietary process, the new realities, the numbers told me what to do, the odd moment of beauty where time is not the same, the only idealistic business person, the only thing truly unique is your personality, the only way to grow and be successful, the remaining 90% will be freed up to be happy, the responsibility in marketing, the rocky road is the high road, The safe decision, the same process and same vocabulary, the stern light only lights what is behind, the subconscious, the Time versus Expectations continuum, the unimportant, the way to resurrect your company, the word failure is tough love, the world is always changing, then let it go, there are a lot of insights, there is no formula for good choices, there’s that damn elephant but there’s nothing I can do about it, these heinous words, They are less confusing, They are overcompensating, they get good shit done, they have to respect you, they know how to lead, They mustn’t have seen it, they should earn our respect, they want you to lead, they will remain motivated, things need to go right, think of the right thing to say too late, think that is a little crazy, thinking, thinking impossible things, thinking is good, thinking too much, this generation’s work ethic, this i am today, this is about leadership, this post is about getting ahead, this sounds pretty common sense, this too will pass, thomas jefferson, those stories compel people to do things, thoughtful and relevant, thoughts, thoughts on buzzwords, three most charismatic leaders in, thrive on dreams and possibilities, thrive on synergy, time, time consuming energy sucking business practice, time is a disposable product, Time is the new Currency, time management, Time pressure enhances the odds someone will make a less ethical, time research, tips, to be sure of you, To refind their risk mojo, to show proof it was fucking stupid, to slay a dragon you need to believe in dragons, today and tomorrow, Top people must not tolerate sloppy plans, torturing numbers, totally about risk, tough decisions are tough, training is woefully lacking, training means results, transactional branding, transformational people, trapped by fear, treat people fairly, Treating others with dignity, tries to create dissatisfaction, trivial moments, trivial moments in bigger life, true, truly falsely managing perceptions, trust, trust & integrity tied to its purpose, Trust can be objective and subjective, truth, truth and expectations, truth goggles, truth in marketing, truth is rarely simple, truth is what really happened, truth or lies, truth or nothing, truth should be simple, truth to oneself, try and address any pre-existing perceptions, trying to be interesting, trying to go in one direction together, trying to make the intangible tangible so that managers, Trying to make them unhappy is difficult, trying to preserve will lead to stagnation, trying to sound smart, tug of war between caring but not caring too much, tween strength, twitter triumph of humanity, typically smart folk at Leo Burnett, udicrous amount of bullshit speak, ultimately all the bullshit words, uncertainty is a bitch, uncertainty takes on geometric proportions, underneath greatness, understand the relevance, understand your perspective, understanding that in any organization, unenlightened business, unethical advertising, uneven and brands, unexpected innovation, unimportant truths, unintended results, unique person in an ad agency, unique psychological properties of social groups to increase engagement, unquestionable, unrealistic expectations, unshakeable, untangling people, update one of my past interviewing posts Interviewing & the gatekeeper, urgent and distinct in the minds of people, use impressive sounding words instead, use the knowledge we have now, use your imagination, using it as an organizational synergy moment, using truth to deceive, using words well, utilizing time efficiency models to squeeze every productive minute, variety branding, Various studies of employee engagement, very much like interviewing, veryone was reduced to a unique selling proposition, vibrantly alive in repose, vision, walk in our footsteps, walking beyond our own footsteps, wander from who they were when, was not trying to make changes, waste all the time pontificating on synergy, wasted energy worrying, we actually waste a shitload of time, we all fail, we all have the same amount of time, we are dealers in hope, we invest so much time trying to manage time, we shall load responsibility on you, weeds are the bane of any good lawn, weird advice with regard to negativity, Weird Al parodies, weird mission statement, well intended business acumen, what are we going to do with the times in which we live, what do you do when you get what you want, What else can an employee ask for, what has happened to leadership, what I know opinions, What if that is all there is, what is management, what is management drucker, what is right and what is wrong, what is the alternative, what is the place of words, what lies ahead for brands next year, what looks like chaos, what the company will do for them or give to them, what they do, what we are seeking explanations, what we have is not what we need, what we need is impossible to get, what we need to get us through, what we want is not what we need, what would you sacrifice to win, what you elect to do with it, whatever it takes, whatever it takes to cross that dark bridge, when the 1, when they first opened their doors, when understood and properly practiced, When you do things right, when you had nothing, when you have nothing, Where Someone Gets It, where they make money, WHICH end justifies the means, which soon show up in their profits, while still remaining connected to empathetic reasoning, while you may be highly qualified for an opportunity, Who is leading the damn company, Who you have become will simply be a reflection of who you are, whole bunch of things need to be done, whole staff must have a proprietary feeling about the company’s wo, whole staff must have a proprietary feeling about the company’s work, WHY do you pander to them, why negativity, wide range of attitudes and beliefs, Winning the generation Game, wisdom, with sudden vehemence, Without a certain level of commitment on the part of employees, Without donuts no one would sit long enough, witty buzzwords, word abuse, words, words reflecting experiences, words that become deeds, words worse than nothing unless they do something, work is often up to people, work nevertheless, worry about implementing a great idea versus protecting it, Yesterday was national doughnut day in America, yet not good enough, You acknowledge it and then ignore it, you actually DO have something, you ain't got nothin, you are not a failure because you fail, you are overcoming objections one by one, you can solve that kind of problem, you cannot dwell on every moment that slipped by, You can’t govern that way, you fail, you got nothin' to lose, you have an organizational problem, You keep moving forward, you might end up right where you belong, You really truly may be perfect for the opportunity, you should be ready to face all sorts of problems, you will inevitably be measured by your actual deeds, young kids just don’t have the same attitude as we did, your best member of your team has the energy and focus, your business will have a fighting chance of being successful, your experience & expertise doesn’t align specifically, your soul’s value
Written by Bruce
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