this is business sob story

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“Don’t give me sob stories,” she ordered me with sudden vehemence, striking the key words for emphasis.

 

“Every day people appeal to my emotions.

You can’t govern that way.

It simply isn’t fair.”

 

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Margaret Thatcher to John Le Carre

 

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want need sign hard easyRunning a country is hard. Very hard.

 

Running a business is hard. Very hard.

 

It doesn’t mean you don’t have good days and it doesn’t mean that all the ‘hard’ doesn’t reap some benefits and joy but … well … hard is hard.

 

And maybe, just possibly, the hardest part is managing the emotional appeals you are faced with on an almost daily basis.

 

And I say that while ignoring the inevitable larger events & stories which compound the emotional aspects of leader decision making.

 

Leading is mostly about the day in and day out responsibility to the greater good and the greater whole. This certainly doesn’t mean you don’t look at the parts and how the parts & pieces are affected but you can’t get too close to individual aspects for fear of … well … a couple of reasons:

 

First is the functional responsibility a leader has.

The greater responsibility is to the whole and insuring the whole is fair, respected and healthy. There is certainly a responsibility to parts, the germs & healthy cells roaming the lifeblood of the whole, but sometimes I let a germ live because it has lesser consequences to the health of the whole than if I invest in something that makes the already healthier cells even more healthy.

 

Second is basic perspective.

Research studies clearly show that emotional decisions are often quite irrational and often quite … well … bad <or maybe better said … less than optimal>. A leader has the difficult responsibility to maintain perspective … even in the face of a crescendo of criticisms demanding ‘this situation is unique.” The optics of a good leader often looks bad.

 

Aloof. Disconnected. Unempathetic.

 

The greater responsibility is to the whole perspective and insuring what is fair and respectful to the whole.

 

This is going to sound bad … really bad in fact.

 

<… I am taking a deep breath here>

this too shall pass tough time choices decisions

 

But good leaders have a sense for “this too will pass” and simply pass on engaging with the individual engagement demand of the moment.

Yes. You acknowledge it and then ignore it.

 

To be clear. You don’t always make the right call and you don’t always get it right but the intent is 99% of the time purposefully not engaging to maintain perspective.

 

 

All that said.

 

Disconnecting from the emotional sob story, while still remaining connected to empathetic reasoning, may be one of the most difficult aspects of leading.

 

I don’t care if its 350 million people, 350 people or 35 people this tug of war between caring but not caring too much is constant and challenging. In addition it is a constant battle for self survival.

 

When thinking about this … inevitably what I believe most of us every day schmucks struggle to understand is the perspective.

 

Most people view things “I” up … and a leader has to look “we” down.

 

In other words … “I” has specific needs and I am willing to think about insuring other “I’s” have the same needs met. There is nothing wrong with this and it certainly can insure some healthy altruistic attitudes & behavior. But it does not reflect good leadership thinking.

 

In other words … “we” have larger needs and I am willing to sacrifice some of what some “I’s” want <and even, unfortunately, need in some cases> to insure the “we” needs are met. There is nothing wrong with this and, when done well, the greater whole prospers and is, in general, happy.

 

But it isn’t easy.

It is really hard.

 

And suffice it to say “ruling” by ignoring emotional appeals is more fair but it is still emotionally draining to a good leader.

 

Whether the 350 million, 350 or the 35 recognize it … there are many days when the 1, the leader, leaves the office with a heavy heart. And it is not heavy because 349,999,900 people, 341 people or 34 people went to sleep that day feeling pretty good about their day and their needs & wants & hopes … but because the few with a true sob story went to sleep that day sobbing.

 

You govern and lead by what is fair to the whole.

 

That’s just the way it is.

 

And just as Margaret Thatcher did … I would vehemently emphasize this business truth to anyone.

 

But.just do your best

That doesn’t mean I don’t think she went home some nights with the weight of someone’s emotional appeal on her mind.

 

That’s what I thought about today after I read this quote from Margaret Thatcher.

 

Oh.

 

And I also thought about whether I was fair and maintained the balance as a leader. I am not sure. I take some solace in the belief that almost every leader wonders the same thing.

 

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Written by Bruce