“It was suicide.
Others killed themselves with poison or with a revolver.
I killed myself with minutes and hours.”
“I love that word.
I love that forever doesn’t exist, but we have a word for it anyway, and use it all the time.
It’s beautiful and doomed. “
Forever is one of those wacky philosophical thoughts which seem to inhabit the minds of almost everyone in Life.
Suffice it to say … we love the idea of forever <on some things>… hate the idea of forever <on some things> … constantly apply forever to time related to specific events and actions … and, yet, we kill the entire concept of forever by using a relentless onslaught of minutes & hours.
Just because we mangle the entire concept of forever doesn’t prove that it isn’t important.
We crazy people … who seem to adore anything that is conceptually intangible and its ‘bigness’ … seemingly always try and define everything in tangible ways end up applying, in some really crazy ways, forever to the most random things.
A feeling can be forever.
A stop light can last forever.
A class can last forever.
A day at work goes on forever.
And, yes, 37 seconds can be forever.
As Mr. Margorium said “It is a lifetime if you let it.”
Alice in Wonderland suggests it is forever.
Alice: “How long is forever?
White Rabbit: “Sometimes, just one second”
<Tim Burton … from Alice in Wonderland movie but never in Lewis Carroll’s books>
The true weirdness of our odd relationship with forever is that in our attempts to attach forever to things finite in nature … more often than not it is an excruciating doomed finiteness.
And maybe even worse?
While some people kill themselves with poison most of us slowly kill ourselves with forevers.
Which is really odd because if asked … most people will chuckle, shrug their shoulders and say something like:
“ … nothing actually lasts forever.”
Crazy, isn’t it?
While we attach forever to the most miniscule of minuscule … forever and a day killing ourselves minute by minute and hour by hour … we don’t even fucking actually believe in it.
Personally, I think it is quite possible that maybe nothing is ever meant to last.
What I do know for sure is that the world is constantly changing and evolving and remaking itself maybe in some weird attempt to and make itself last forever. And maybe that is where we struggle the most with forever.
Within forever there is a constant ebb and flow of endings and beginnings and making, remaking & unmaking. That said.
Where do you draw the line of what is forever and what is not?
And is forever simply a complex intricate web of endings & beginnings?
Here is what I know. Pretty much everything has an end.
I also know this … while forever does not exist … it does exist as one very very important thing … possibility.
When you begin something … let’s say something good … something positive … we have a tendency to want to attach forever to it.
“I wish this would last forever.”
We know it won’t.
But the possibility it will?
The hope it could?
That is powerful stuff.
Here is a Life truth.
Forever can be found in anything. One second, 37 seconds, a lifetime, a thought, a feeling and even an experience.
The truth is that forever is found in one’s own willingness to have & accept forever.
It is a matter of decision.
Basically … you decide your forever.
You decide to accept “the beautiful & the doomed” of that which is forever.
As for me?
What do I like about forever?
Forever permits us to think … well … there is a chance.
Forever permits us to imagine fragile things living on and on in a world which is fairly unforgiving to fragility.
Forever … even though it sounds big in its infiniteness … can be the small key to greatness and opportunity.
And the best part of forever?
Forever , in its best form, is powered by hope.
And, well, what is more powerful and infinite and timeless as hope?