nervous & ‘giving a damn’
“If you’re nervous, it means you give a damn.”
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thatkindofwoman tumblr
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Ok. I almost called this ‘giving a damn’ , but, this is about the relationship between nervousness and giving a shit about something. Here is the basic equation <logic flow>:
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– Giving a damn means you are thinking about something <because you can’t give a damn about something you aren’t thinking about>.
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– Thinking is good <especially if it is on something you give a damn about>.
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– Being nervous CAN be good <but pretty much all of us get nervous when we give a damn about something>.
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Bottom line on being nervous and nervousness.
All are aspects of giving a shit.
All of which are also aspects of worrying.
Yup. Worrying.
Worrying about being good enough or ‘having enough’ or just ‘doing as well as I can.’
Ok. Here is a Life truth <beyond the fact everyone gets nervous>. Despite what you may think about yourself … and despite the fact you worry, the truth is, more often than not, you do a lot of ‘right’ <right things, right decisions and right thoughts>.
Despite that Life truth we do a lot of navel-gazing <and worrying> when it comes to thinking and ‘having enough’ when it matters.
Oh. About that ‘what matters’ and when we get nervous about having enough thought.
To me it often feels like we’re having too many conversations about things that don’t matter and not enough about things that do. This translates into getting nervous, if not even investing energy, towards a lot of things that just do not matter.
We have gobs of incredibly smart, resourceful, creative thinking people in today’s world and, frankly, I wish we would spend more of our precious attention, energy, and ideation skills solving meaningful things that mattered.
In addition. I also wish more people accepted they had ‘enough’ to deal with all the shit that matters. This also means we just need to accept that being nervous is just part of the gig.
Anyway. Let me share two aspects of nervous and giving a shit.
First.
Nervousness is just a reflection of the fact you recognize that there is something to lose when you care.
Now. This isn’t ‘caring about losing’, but more about ‘losing if I care.’ Some people have this equation out of whack in that they simply believe losing any time is bad. It is out of whack because, simplistically, we care about some things more than others. The winning or losing isn’t, and shouldn’t be, tied to the outcome but rather the ‘level of caring.’
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“The more you care, the more you have to lose.”
Harry Potter
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In my mind your nervousness should be used more often as a platform for discussion or thinking or even level of caring. But, please, … please … don’t make nervousness based on some fear of doing the ‘wrong things.’
Just figure out what you care about, and, accept the fact that if you care that the outcome matters more, and, accept that if it matters more you will be nervous.
<this equation is quite effective in deductive thinking about yourself and things about yourself>
Second.
Nervousness and anger. Beyond being tied to caring or level of caring … nervousness is absolutely tied to anger.
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“My anger at the world coils inside of me. It’s a directionless seething, there’s no name or face to aim at.”
The Sky So Heavy by Claire Zorn
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Nervousness always has a direction.
That is why I get aggravated when someone says ‘I just don’t know why I’m nervous.’
Well. Being nervous always contains an aspect of some … well … anger. You get angry that a world demands so much of you and you get nervous that you cannot <or may not> meet what the world demands.
This doesn’t mean that you are not capable nor does it mean that in some form or fashion you do not enjoy rising to the occasion. What it means is that you get a little angry just being put in the position <that makes you nervous>. Just think of it this way … your anger coils inside you and comes out externally as nervousness.
But … you know what? Some anger is quite productive.
Some anger motivates you to action and stepping up rather than stepping back <or not stepping at all>. But this also means that some anger translates into being nervous.
Anyway.
I am fairly sure everyone gets nervous about things <in general>. But I am absolutely positive everyone gets nervous about the things that matter to them.
I imagine I wrote this because people just don’t like being nervous.
They don’t like the feeling.
And my fear is that maybe in avoiding being nervous … maybe they avoid things that matter.
Look.
Accept the burden of nervousness.
You have to.
If you don’t, then most of the things you do will … well … not matter. Suffice it to say that Life is too short to not do things that matter so, go ahead, be nervous.
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success is already leaking out the other side, success is defined by how well, success is defined by how well you limit your suckedness, success isn’t about positive thinking, success tastes sweet, successful in business, suck in so many ways, Sucking in business, Sucking in business is a personal thing, summarize all my mentors, swallowing nonsense, symbolic dynamics, systems remain stagnant, Take chances, take revenge on doubters, take some fairly drastic measures, taking responsibility, talking, tangled up people, Technology is changing faster than most can adapt, telling a lie, telling lies, tend to not just dream, that i will be tomorrow, that is life, That was their moment, that which could be, thatkindofwoman tumblr wisdom, the abyss gazes into you, the answers are within you, the burden of success, the dance of the change tree, the darkness becomes part of you, the die is cast, the discussion is a solution, the empty outcome syndrome, the fact everyone gets nervous, the moments that words fail, the most powerful weapon in life is not a mission, the numbers told me what to do, the outcome generation, the plan falls apart, the prevailing stereotype, the reward is eternity, the right thing at the wrong time is still wrong, The Silent Partner Marketing article, the slippery slope of this lie, the subconscious, the toughest thing about success, The truth is, the word failure is tough love, the world bends everyone, the world breaks us all, their own hole that Life, then you miss your whole life, there is no formula for good choices, There is no try, there’s no name or face to aim at, They are all idiots, they don’t want what we have, They may not like asking for help, they pushed me hard, they reveal you, thing about success, things learned from good bosses, things that don’t matter, think about it a little, think you can fix anything, thinking, thinking harder, thinking impossible things, thinking is good, thinking is messy, thinking too much, This beliefs and attitudes thing, this business relationship, this i am today, this is the way it has always been done, this quote, thoughts, thoughts are relevant in almost any service, thoughts initiate action, thoughts initiate action and progress, thrive on dreams and possibilities, tied to caring or level of caring, time, time and choices, tips that are now welcomed and appreciated, to be sure of you, to create is to detroy, to desire less, to not suck, to slay a dragon you need to believe in dragons, to suck or not to suck, to the right person at the right time, torture numbers, torturing numbers, tough choices, tough for dreamers these days, toughest thing about success, towards a lot of things that just do not matter, transformational people, translates into getting nervous, trapped by fear, trivial moments, trivial moments in bigger life, trust, truth, truth and expectations, truth goggles, truth is rarely simple, truth is what really happened, truth or lies, truth or nothing, truth to oneself, trying to preserve will lead to stagnation, turn your back on your gift, tween smarts, tween strength, two ways to get enough, ultimate measure of effective skills, unbuilds the next business generation, uncertainty is a bitch, uncertainty takes on geometric proportions, unclear leader, uncomfortable enlightened thinking, uncomfortable self reflection, understand that moving on is difficult, understanding what you do as an organization, understands that people expect things of, understands there is a responsibility, unfocused leaders, unforgivable, unfortunate truth in business, unintended results, unquestionable, untangling people, until I see what I do, use your imagination, used self-control for some tasks, various aspects of our emotional capacity, verbalizing is less effective, vibrantly alive in repose, vision, wacky business world, waiting or living, wakes up scared to be themselves sometimes, walls are so steep he can't get out, want it to be better for ourselves, wanted to keep doing new things, wasted energy worrying, wasting a talent, watch me, we actually do a lot of right things, we all fail, we all have willpower, we believe in business success, we can all be better thinkers, we can control, we do more right than wrong, We have a complicated relationship with success, We lie best, We lie best when we lie to ourselves, we self absorbed older generation, we want to be great, we want to shine, weave your way through business issues, welcome the burden of responsibility, well oiled competitive life machines, we’ll die if we don’t keep changing, what exactly is it you want, what I know opinions, what I learned from, what is management, what is the alternative, what is the place of words, what looks like chaos, what matters, what people expect you to keep striving for, What sets us apart, What sets us apart can sometimes feel like a burden, what should be done, what we are seeking explanations, what we believe we’re talented in, what we have is not what we need, what we need is impossible to get, what we need to get us through, what we want is not what we need, what you consider the best, what you do with your time, what your thoughts are now on what should be done, whatever it takes, whatever it takes to cross that dark bridge, when he falls in a hole, when our plan burst apart, when plans fall apart, when the plan falls apart, when you gaze long into an abyss, when you start to suck stop, which is never not now, whole idea of perfection is shit, why can’t we just make it simple, why put the energy in, why they're called jobs, willpower, winning can come in different sizes and shapes, wired to be that way, wishful thinking, with inherent duties, with moments you don’t suck, with regard to society, without that questioning, woefully inadequate data, won’t diminish the pressures associated with, words, words that become deeds, words worse than nothing unless they do something, work created by others, Work ethic is a tricky thing, work ethic varies, work is often up to people, work nevertheless, working toward the goal you want to achieve, Worrying about being good enough, worst thing about falling to pieces, you are not a failure because you fail, you are quite resilient, you can get pulled in so many directions, you can hear their dreams, you cannot dwell on every moment that slipped by, you do a lot of right, young are certainly willing to work for it, younger generation who doesn’t think
Written by Bruce