rat girl thoughts

So.

I wrote about Rat Girl (Kristen Hersh) awhile back … and have been meaning to come back to the book and some quotable/comment-able thoughts from Kristen and her book.

Let me say this upfront.

Rarely have I found so many quotable thoughts from one book.

Anyway.

There is no particular order for these thoughts & quotes.  I simply wrote them down as I read Rat Girl. So there is some spontaneous nonlinear thinking to be shared (and several other posts will follow using specific quotes).

With that … it seems appropriate to start with this following quote because I love music and I tend to believe it is one of the few global forms of communication with the ability to cross cultures and actually bend cultures …

“They <songs> don’t commit to linear time – they whiz around all your memories collecting them into a goofy pile that somehow seems less goofy because it’s set to music. Songs are weird. They tell the future and they tell the past but they can’t seem to tell the difference.” – K. Hersh

Well.

I am not sure I have ever heard a better explanation for why music is so powerful, oh, and timeless. Great songs & songwriters have the ability to capture moments & thoughts in a way that they become timeless …’ or maybe better said they become ‘a relevant time’ to the listener.

And there are really two thoughts here.

Some songs inspire timelessness on things you are experiencing now … they just express eternal ‘truth.’

And the some songs are, well, not timeless.

What do I mean?

Well.

Not timeless is easy to describe. They are of a genre and style and wording that may make it a hit today but quickly slips away into that irrelevance space that most tepid shit ends up in.

But timeless? Whew.  That stuff speaks to you forever. Because, as Kristen suggests, they live concurrently in the past, present & future in what they say and how they make you feel.

You hear it and it can make you think of something that was. And you ache, or think or just laugh a little.

You hear it and it can make you think of something that is. And you ache, or think or just laugh a little.

You hear it and it cam make you think of something that could be. And you are hopeful, fearful … or just think.

That goofy pile of thoughts is less goofy set to music … and by being less goofy it makes you think … think about something.

And that is what makes a great song great.

It doesn’t have to be great grandiose type thinking … it is just thinking.

Once again … if you ever need to explain to someone what makes music the thing that is universal globally … just pull this quote out.

It is a timeless quote.

Next.

“Play a grown up ‘til you grow up.” – K. Hersh

Ok.

Let’s think about this one a little.

This was written by a 19 year old. Bi polar. Pregnant. Fronting one of the most avante garde bands of the time. And she is often thrown into environments where she was expected to be a grown up … and make grown up decisions (or maybe think like a grown up).

Putting this quote into perspective … all she really wants to do is be a musician …  to create and play what was in her head.

What did she do?

Play a grown up.

I like this one for a variety of reasons.

Mainly because it was written by a 19 year old. And one who embraced her originality (which would almost presume she would balk at being “grown up”).

But I also like it because in its simplicity it is a Life truth.

I think a lot of teens understand this (play a grown up). And will do it … that is if they are permitted to and it is nurtured.

All teens contain originality. That is what youth is all about.

Some young people are strong enough to “play grown up” on their own (see Kristen Hersh as an example).

But most young people aren’t strong enough … okay … maybe ‘resilient enough’ is a better way to phrase it. They seek to fit in first and foremost. It’s the safest path. And, therefore, true originality is few and far between (being part of a flock isn’t conducive to originality).

So. She reminds us that even those teens who are grown up – are simply acting like it … that is until they actually become a grown up.

Ok. I say all this to make a point.

We adults can either nurture it or destroy it. And destruction is a lot easier than nurturing.  Destruction can happen in the smallest word or action.

We adults need to remember this. Not all teens are as strong as Kristen Hersh. Most are more fragile. Does this mean we should pamper our youth? Absolutely not. But be cognizant of repercussions of our actions as we nurture.

Also.

There is a business side to life, yeah, I said life. By business I mean there are rules of the road we all have to follow on how we are supposed to act, what is appropriate or not, all that stuff we need to do and are supposed to do … if we want to get what we want. And this is true regardless of your age. and to make it trickier it all varies depending on the situation.

What do I mean? If you are 19 but put in a situation surrounded by 40 year olds you have one of 2 choices …

(1)    act like a 19 year old and get nothing

(2)    or act like a 40something and get what you want.

Simple to do? Nope.

But if you don’t even try and act like a grown up and you are 19 in this situation I can promise you one thing, unequivocally, you won’t get shit.

In the end? Play a grown up until you are a grownup.

Another awesome quote in its simplicity.

Next.

This one is mindboggling as she, in her own words, defines  passion in life.

“I think you need something in your life that is both beautiful and necessary. A person or a mission or a place. Beautiful might not be pretty and necessary may not be understood, but, still … I think caring, not death, is the passport to heaven.” – K. Hersh

Ok.

I have been tempted to have this quote framed.

And, once again, from the mouth of a 19 year old.

“beautiful may not be pretty and necessary may not be understood.”

Whew.

That is chill bump type stuff.

Not all passion is shared. And what is necessary to you may not be necessary to someone else.

Frankly that thought may be one of the most difficult for people to grasp.

We so often set a ‘standard’ for what is good, acceptable or the ‘best’ for people.

So what happens to the people who don’t ‘fit ‘within the guardrails? They are oddballs … out of the norm or mainstream … and are forced to swim upstream.

Shit.  So what about the majority who do go easily within the guardrails? Maybe they never get to see what is beautiful and necessary (what a fucking shame).

Regardless.

This quote is a big thought.  A thoughtful thought. And rather that have me define it or explain it I just posted it so everyone could read it … and all I ask is for everyone to think about it.

Because, honestly, I cannot stop thinking about it.

Next.

“If you play too many wimpy chords you’re just asking for wimpy scales. Play colors.” – K. Hersh

This one is awesome for not just for musicians but for anyone in the creative business.

Shit.

This is actually awesome for anyone.

A lot of people are really successful playing it safe.  Or doing what others have done. And then there are the few … those who play colors.

I am not suggesting, using her words, that it is bad to be ‘wimpy.’ Because in this case wimpy isn’t bad … it’s just … well … maybe not aspirational. And that’s okay because not everyone does aspirational stuff. And not everyone SHOULD do aspirational stuff. Not everyone s wired for that.

But.

Boy.

“Play colors.”

If you are even closed to being wired this way this simple quote is pretty powerful.

Me?

If I could have one thing in my obituary it would be “we saw colors when he was there.”

Do I believe I deserve that now? Nope.

But that is surely what I am aiming for.

Ok.

This is the last quote I will use from the book.

“Everything about Betty is huge, bigger than life. I’m smaller than life – so unremarkable that I’m practically invisible.” – K. Hersh

So.

I lied.

There was an order in the quotes … at least I that I purposefully put this one last.

For a variety of reasons this one really struck me.

And, no, you don’t need to know who Betty is to think about this and understand it.

But.

Think about this as you read this quote … fact here was one of the most talented songwriters and singers of her generation … and she thought herself unremarkable.

And small.

And it got me thinking.

That word unremarkable.

It’s a big word.

Maybe even an immense word when referring to oneself.

Maybe I like this quote not because I am as talented as Kristen Hersh … but rather because I feel unremarkable.

Not in a bad way. Just that in comparison to some pretty remarkable people I have been fortunate to have known.

Frankly … I tend to believe a lot of people feel the same way. They feel unremarkable. And maybe not invisible but … well … not remarkably visible to the broader world.

And yet I, just as most people I imagine, would like to do something remarkable.

C’mon.

We all want to leave something behind… but how do we do that when we are so small in life.

So few of us actually make an impact … well … a really big impact.

The kind of impact that makes you remarkable.

And I do think the majority of us feel small and insignificant on occasion (if not the majority of the time).  I know I do.

And once again that’s not bad.  It just is.

But I want to make a difference.

Is it “making people see colors?”

Or implementing the global education initiative?

Or something else?

Heck.  I don’t know.

What I do know is Kristen captured the essence of our smallness in a way that was clear and concise and thought provoking.

And it made me want to be sure I at least tried to do something that, in the end, was visible.

So.

You may not like the book (Rat Girl).

And you may not like Kristen Hersh’s music.

But, boy, you gotta like how she takes some really complex thoughts and breaks them down into some really simple words.

Thank you Kristen.