rock bottom

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“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

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J.K. Rowling

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“How do we forgive ourselves for all of the things we did not become?”

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David ‘Doc’ Luben

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Ok. Have you ever noticed that rock bottom is actually relative?

It is actually not a ‘bottom’, but rather like floors in a high rise building.

Someone can see a homeless person and think “rock bottom” and, yet, that homeless person, if asked, would say “oh, I have been lower.”

Someone can hear a millionaire recount when they were bankrupt and ‘it was rock bottom’ and, yet, two years later they were a millionaire again.

I am not suggesting that a wealthy person cannot see a starving child in a poverty stricken neighborhood as rock bottom  just that they cannot ever envision it is a viable rock bottom for themselves – ‘couldn’t happen to me’ syndrome.

I will not argue that people use their own versions of rock bottom as leverage points for progress and moving upwards away from that bottom. JK Rowling is certainly a great example of that <although … it would behoove us to acknowledge that she is an exception and not the rule>. But if you ever want to truly understand how fucked up we tend to view rock bottom just take a second and ponder the wealthy view and how they discuss ‘entitlements’ and monetary safety nets.

It drives me a little nuts to hear some millionaire talking about the time they ‘lost it all’ and, yet, they sit in some plush chair wearing a hundred+ dollar tie discussing their comeback from rock bottom as a ‘self-made millionaire who fought his way back’.

Uhm.

Real rock bottom doesn’t permit you to go from less than zero to multi-millionaire unless you live in some privileged world or you win the lottery.

My real point is that rock bottom is relative.

The 50something C-level experienced person out of work for several years with dwindling bank balances and no discernible path off of the slippery slope certainly feels rock bottom. But their bottom is measured by what they had and what they lost … and what they believe they will be able to gain again <if given the opportunity>. And “opportunity”, even at their bottom, certainly seems within a ‘hopeful grasp.’

Conversely, the hard working blue collar worker constantly on the edge of poverty or “making do” deems rock bottom as losing whatever they have gained … maybe a house or maybe just an apartment in which the adult has their own room and dinner food 6 days a week for everyone in the family. They may not view “opportunity” as hopeful but rather some small step toward relief from some worry.

The wealthy talk about ‘understanding’ that kind of rock bottom, but they don’t. There is no way they do. In their world rock bottom is significantly different and the path out of that rock bottom hole looks significantly different.

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“She destroyed too many good things in society, and created too many bad ones, then left a social and moral vacuum in which the selfishly rich and unimaginatively fortunate could too easily destroy still more of what they don’t need and can’t see that everyone else does need.”

Emma Darwin

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I am picking on the wealthy <mostly because many of them live in some absurd world view in which everyone has the same opportunity to attain the wealth that they have> but everyone views rock bottom thru their own relativity lens.

And, in general, that is okay.

It is mostly okay because it is our own self calibration, and motivation, mechanism to challenge ourselves to get what we want. The difficulty happens when you start applying your own self calibration to others.

Look.

Rock bottom is fairly easy to see if you look around without cynicism.

Look around.

Entitlement programs represent almost 2/3rds of the American federal budget. Almost half of American households receive some assistance from the government. When we see numbers like this most of us get grumpy and many of us think there is some underlying problem <which is difficult to put a finger on>. Simplistically the biggest problem is that nobody thinks they’re the problem.

Shit. To be fair. Nobody ever wants to think they’re the problem.

Unfortunately, the truth is as long as we continue to think of the rising cultural reliance on government assistance as someone else’s problem, and someone else’s fault, we’ll never truly understand it and we’ll have absolutely zero chance of fixing it.

Unfortunately, the truth is that an America assistance culture is far more pervasive than people realize – even beyond the lazy moochers and deserving poor <of which there are certainly lazy moochers but far less than what we perceive>.

Even the wealthy rely on government assistance … just in different ways.

Here is the truth. People want more stuff than what they have and everyone hates losing what they have. Therefore rock bottom relativity centers on that understanding – what I have, what I have lost, what I could gain.

That formula works if you earn $100 a week or $1000 an hour.

The truth is that … well … now everyone feels like they are entitled – even the wealthy — which is driven by a belief everyone is getting rich, or richer, but them. This makes people become resentful, jealous, angry, and a little selfish. They are working hard and they want their share and they are at their rock bottom and see someone getting what they believe they deserve.

Now. People, in general, know this is wrong and people, in general, don’t like this feeling and they resent feeling this way <and acting this way>. They get a little pissed that the definition of rock bottom isn’t some simple ‘same for everyone’ so they start lashing out and blaming other people.

People are milking the system.

People in government <whichever party you want> are creating the problem.

People who don’t look like us are to blame.

People think their rock bottom is more important than everyone else’s rock bottom.

And all people want a simple thing to point at and say ”fuck you, I am at rock bottom and I do not want to be here.”

Here is a truth.

The truth is that it is a systemic issue and, I would argue, our failing to truly understand rock bottom.

I will offer a quasi-contradictory thought to end this.

As a generalization … wealthy people <say 90% of them> have an absurd concept of rock bottom and fairly consistently misjudge attitudes & behaviors of poorer people who really are at their rock bottoms.

Conversely … it is a massive mistake to generalize the non-wealthy and their rock bottoms. While I felt comfortable generalizing with the wealthy <because I believe overall they have more opportunities within their grasp more easily graspable> I am not comfortable doing so with less wealthy people. And I say that to go back to my original opening point – rock bottom is relative and personal.

That point is pretty important.

It is important because we tend to want to create some sweeping program and solution which misses the fact that it is more likely to be successful if we go one-on-one and help individuals assess their rock bottom and help them get somewhere other than a bottom.

What I would feel comfortable making a generalization on is the fact that any less-than-wealthy person at their rock bottom has no desire to remain there.

They may have no clue how to get out of their hole.

They may have absolutely no hope of getting out of their hole.

They may exhibit no behaviors that suggest they want to get out of their hole.

But exactly 0% wants to remain in their bed at the rock bottom of their hole.

We should never permit anyone to make a bed at the rock bottom. Never.

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“Life has many ways of testing a person’s will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once.”

―

Paulo Coelho