Posts tagged border collies
the sleeping aardvark
Apr 24th
So. I drive by a high school here in San Francisco that has aardvarks wandering its sports fields.
And while it is always a little disconcerting to see aardvarks strolling around the fields of the local high school suddenly seeing one of them on their side snoozing is … well .. you slow down and look a little closer. Why? A snoozing aardvark looks an awful like road kill. But in the middle of a field instead of the middle of the road.
Let me start over. I guess I figured this being California instead of using safe chemicals to solve pest and ant problems on the soccer and football and baseball fields at a local high school they have rented/bought/leased (???) a squad of aardvarks (anteaters) to cleanse the fields.
Oh.
No.
The high school mascot is not an aardvark (that is actually UC Irvine). They are the Red Tailed Hawks. Anyway. The aardvarks. They randomly wander (well, actually, I have never seen them move … we will get back to that) the fields in their ambling pachydermish way like little tanks in search of ants. It makes it a little interest during baseball practice (I would imagine the cruel kids treat the aardvarks like the ball sweeping cart at the golfing range) and the outfielders learn to navigate the obstacles while tracking down fly balls.
So. After seeing the sleeping aardvark I went online to see what the deal was exactly (I mean how do you decide to actually bring aardvarks in?).
To my dismay I found out that the aardvarks I had been spotting as I drove by the high school were actually fake coyotes.
Huh? Did I feel stupid or what?
(but, hey … compare the pictures and tell me from a distance you wouldn’t have been confused!).
So the reason this whole thing happened (the fake coyotes) was the geese tended to outnumber the athletes on Mill Valley’s Tamalpais High School athletic fields so the school officials came up with the novel idea to bring in fake coyotes.
Apparently the coyote lookalikes work extremely well, scaring off birds that look good but seem to do nothing but eat and poop. To make me not appear as stupid as this post may make it seem, According a local paper, a whole bunch of the faux predators looked so lifelike that people even reported the “coyotes” thinking they were real (so. I have that going for me.)
On a separate note there is a very cool retail design shop in Dayton Ohio that actually has a pair of border collies that alternate sitting in front of the building to scare away their geese (I like that option better than the fake aardvark/coyote idea).
So. While I feel a little stupid, and the idea sounds stupid, at least it’s working for the high school.
And maybe I should drop a note to some of the local supermarkets and businesses because a whole bunch of them have been putting these fake owls (and yes … in this case I not only identified them properly as owls but I also recognized they were fake) to scare off the pigeons.
Oddly enough they seem to attract pigeons as I see lots of them crowding around the fake owl (boy. that was an effective tactic, huh?).
Maybe if they put some of these fake coyotes up there instead of the owls not only would geese stay away but maybe the pigeons would too.
That’s my free idea of the day. Anyone who wants to use it can.
The morning emptiness
Feb 1st
So. This was the morning. The first morning in 15 years I woke up without my best buddy. While these days the mornings were typically quiet instead of the earlier hustle and hyperness associated with border collieness there is still a silence that is somewhat overwhelming. There is an emptiness where the space was so full.
“and then there was one”
we stand
by the edge of the field
where tigger and ginger used to play
but today
there is silence.
and it seems
all the stars are without wishes
for they fall without a sound.
and it seems
the leaves are so still
and fall without a sound
for they desire to drop
without disturbing
the memory of what was.
we stand
by the edge of the field
and see
the emptiness
where once they were there
but now
there is silence.
and where they played
the grass stands alone.
i stand
and then there was
just one.

Great Dog Biscuit Factory
Jan 26th
It is with heavy heart I have to tell everyone that Tigger left for the great dog biscuit factory in the sky last night in his sleep.
There are no words available to describe what he meant to me and my life (and hopefully to his numerous aunts and uncles) but suffice it say he was the maddening joy in my life (border collie owners will understand). I only hope I gave him as much joy as he gave me.
I hope he ends up somewhere he can endlessly run, herd squirrels and have dog biscuits any time he wants.
Goodbye my friend. Gone but never forgotten.

Bruce and Tigger


