Enlightened Conflict

the Company Christmas party: my girlfriend and another woman wore the same dress

December 23rd, 2009

 

pain-100-bottle-guy

 

Ok.

 

Guys, in general, are stupid. And particularly so with women.

 

That said.

 

What I am about to describe … guys are not prepared for this situation.

In fact I am pretty sure nothing a guy has done in his life with other guys prepares him for this.

 

Let me begin by saying my girlfriend looked awesome in a black and white polka dot dress. And let me tell you when I picked her up (and picked my jaw up from the floor) I told her so.

In fact I am willing to bet I told her several times before we even got to the party. Heck. I bet I would tel her today if I saw her.

 

That said.

 

I am fairly sure none of that was remembered by anyone other than me as the night went on (and it would be wise for us guys to remember the value, or lack of value, of early praise).

 

 

We arrived to the Christmas party fashionably late (pretty much the last to arrive) which meant the other maybe 150 people were already there (and unbeknownst to me the devil incarnate posing in my girlfriend’s dress). As we went in I headed to the bar to get us some drinks while she went to talk with some friends.

 

Before I could get one of the most beautiful gin & tonics I had ever seen to cross my lips I got smacked in the back of the head and heard “I need to show you something. Now.”

 

I am not sure what my immediate response was but I am pretty sure whatever it was didn’t do the job (I got smacked in the head again).

 

She grabs my arm and says, “come with me, I will show you.”

 

Me: “Hold on, what about our drinks?” (another smack in the head. about this time I figured saying nothing would cause less bruising.)

 

Lurking behind some big ferny floor plant she pointed and said “look”.

 

Me: “Hmmmmmmmmmm, at what?” (Smack. My head was really beginning to hurt).

 

 

Her: “At her dress!”

 

At this point despite my desire to have a very strong drink in my hand I focused very, very hard. Seeking whatever it was I was supposed to see (or better said whatever it was that was going to get me off the hook).

 

 

Me: “Ok Ann. I am sorry. What am I supposed to look at?”

 

(figuring maybe I would get some points for honesty … oohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh … silly silly boy)

 

Her: “Look at Linda. Look at her dress !!!!. It’s the same as mine.”

 

<I look … as closely as I can thru a fern>>

 

Me: “Aw no. It kind of looks the same, but no, yours is different.” (that earned a smack)

 

 

Her: “It’s exactly the same.”

 

 

Me: “Uh. Okay. Do you want to go home and put something else on?”

 

 

Her: <no hesitation> “You are such an idiot.”

 

(Where are your friends and a drink when you need it? Oh. That’s right. Those are the guys standing over there laughing their asses off).

pooh and piglet thinking

Me: (Think. Think. Think.)

 

 

Me: “Ok. It may be the same. But it doesn’t look right on her. She doesn’t look anywhere as good as you.”

 

 

Her: “That’s bullshit. Let’s go get a drink. I am so embarrassed.”

 

My boss almost broke a rib she laughed so hard. And then she proceeded to do everything in her power to get the “two dresses” side by side as often as possible throughout the night.

 

(as did almost every one of my friends – those jerks)

 

Beyond attempting to make the entire evening an evasion affair regardless of where we were, who we were talking to or whatever we were doing…I tried to drink as much as possible and say as little as possible.

 

Anyway.

 

As we approach holiday party time all guys should be on notice. You never know what may ruin your company Christmas party.

Enlightened Conflict