“I have come to realize that being trustworthy does not demand that I be rigidly consistent but that I be dependably real.”
Well. Words we like to hear about our self.
It used to be nice and simple … “he is a good guy <or gal>.” You didn’t really worry about much else because that captured the essence of all the other stuff which comes along with it.
Authentic. Real. Trustworthy.
The buzzwords of the day <as if we never really wanted to be any of these before>. Attach consistent, reliable and, well, a different version of trustworthy and you have completed the buzzword trifecta.
Now. You may be expecting me to share some thoughts on what makes someone authentic or how important it is to be authentic or earning of trust or any of those things, but I will not.
Today I will complain.
There may be nothing more annoying to a trustworthy, authentic, mostly reliable person than to not be accepted as such. It is annoying to see all these articles espousing the importance of these things and “5 things someone or something needs to do to be authentic” or even “the 5 characteristics of authentic leadership.”
It is annoying because authentic, real, trustworthy, consistent and reliable doesn’t need some how-to manual or some handbook of authenticity.
It is annoying to think that some people need to actually think about those things let along read ‘rules of the road’ to insure being trustworthy.
All of this <good> shit isn’t something taught, it just is.
Now. I will admit. It is an attitude that must be embraced in order to actually be seen by others. And, no, I am not suggesting you tell someone you are these things, I am suggesting it is simply an attitude you exude.
A psychologist suggested it is a ‘feeling or attitude one is experiencing which is matched by one’s awareness of that attitude’. It is that unification or alignment which insures I can ‘be’ what I actually ‘am’. And from that comes an authenticity which people deem reliable trustworthiness in in opaque fashion.
Yeah. What this means is a heightened level of self-awareness. An awareness borne of listening what is actually within.
Yeah. That’s not as easy as it sounds.
To me it all comes down to two things: one mature and one immature.
The mature aspect is a belief that being who you are matters and you remain steadfast with those things which make you who you are. In other words, authenticity, reliableness, trustworthiness and consistency is a choice. You decide that is who you want to be and then you go be that person – no matter what.
The immature aspect is a desire to not be annoyed. The truth is that much of the really good shit that matters in Life does not come easy and does not just happen.
In other words, self-awareness is a choice, yeah, a choice. What I mean by that is it is incredibly easy to react to external stimuli and therefore focus on external stimuli. Inadvertently by doing so you may not be listening to your inner self and what it wants to do and say. Sure. After some years it may be slightly instinctual, but you really do have to work at aligning inner and outer attitudes to insure the kind of reliable consistent cues to get what you want in response <I am authentic, reliable, trustworthy and ‘real’>.
“A meaningful life is not being rich, being popular, or being perfect. It’s about being real, being humble, being able to share ourselves and touch the lives of others.”
Anyway. I purposefully didn’t ever mention humility. While I believe some humility is an attractive characteristic I tend to believe it is something that naturally occurs with extreme self-awareness, uhm, by being dependably genuine.
I wish everyone would stop writing books about authenticity and trust and we could just throw them all away and just hand out small slip of paper that everyone could put in their wallet, purse or tape to the bathroom mirror that simply says: be dependably real. Be dependably genuine
Sure seems like that will get you where you want to go and have you be the person you want to be <and, most importantly, you will be annoyed less often by people who do not automatically see you are consistent, reliable, authentic and trustworthy … because being annoyed is annoying>.