60% of the things you think are important now won’t matter a whit to you by the time you reach 50.
The trick is to figure out the important 40% and work it.
You’ll never have all the answers, so make every question count.
No one knows anything for sure.
They’re all just doing the best they can with what they have, just like you.
I don’t know where I found this but there was a list of maybe 21 or 22 things different people shared that they would have told their 19 year old self.
Many were mindless drivel.
And then there were several that remind you we should sit down with our young people and say “hey, the world can be a fucked up place … and unfortunately there is no handbook for how to be successful nor is there a general rule that everyone follows.”
Maybe the only “rules to follow” are:
Do the best you can with what you have.
Always try to ‘have more’ <not stuff … knowledge> tomorrow than you have today.
Everyone is just bad at some things <and stop worrying that others aren’t bad at it>.
I suggest we should do this more often because … well … I have no proof of what I am going to say … no research … but … I think younger people are very, VERY, clear on what they are bad at. I do not know if this is simply something that happens in youth to everyone or if it is more indicative of the current time we live in.
Frankly, I do not care about the reason … all I know is that many young people struggle to assess what they are good at and rarely struggle to know what they are bad at.
things I’m bad at:
• eye contact
• expressing feelings
• making decisions
• telling someone what i want
• explaining why i act a certain way
• getting motivated to do stuff
• knowing what i want
• paying attention to people
In the end.
I am often surprised that we older folk have this basic knowledge … and rarely share it with the people it would matter most to … young people. This is a fairly simple honest conversation.
I am often surprised that we don’t understand that what we think we are bad at … most people are bad at.
I am often surprised that while we older folk seemingly chase ‘answers to Life’ incessantly like a border collie chasing a squirrel … through books and TV ‘how to’ shows and life coaches … and, yet, we all pretty much understand that there are really no answers … just a shitload of questions.
Frankly, we people are … well … a crazy bunch.
We know life is all about adapting and yet we constantly seek consistently and ‘solid paths.’ And in doing so we far too often say ‘maybe’ when we really want to say ‘no’ to a whole shitload of things.
This is not to suggest we shouldn’t encourage trying and attempting things and making mistakes <that is an entirely different thought> … but rather … maybe saying ‘no’ actually opens doors to new possibilities and measuring what is important, and what is not, than too often saying ‘maybe.’
I think we older folk never waste our time if we take a moment or two and think on what we would say to our 19 year old self <and maybe say some of these things to a 19 year old> .
I believe it not only shows some reflective perspective … but it may possibly shed some light on things we want to say to ourselves today.
Maybe something like ….
“Don’t say maybe if you want to say no. “