Posts tagged depth of character to face everyday life

what is management?

May 21st

“Responsibility for one’s impacts is the oldest principle of the law” – Peter Drucker (New Realities, 1989, p. 87)

To me, in today’s business, manager management training is woefully lacking. Training simply equals “results” <with an additional emphasis on doing it while being politically correct and appropriately sensitive – to avoid litigation>.

And, no, I don’t believe this is a generational ‘thing.’

In other words I hear a lot of people suggest this upcoming generation of managers always needs to be told exactly what to do and what expectations are …well … in general I don’t agree. But even if I did those people are being told “results.”

It is the easiest (laziest) way to outline expectations.

To be fair to the lazy guidance organizations (or enterprises as Drucker calls them) … the enterprise also focuses on “results.” That ultimately translates into the fact you can be the biggest jerk manager in the world, the most anti social manager, one who exhibits gobs of poor management (team leadership skills) … but if you generate the enterprise holy grail <results> … well…then you are an “effective manager.”

And the fallback statement is almost always “not everyone is going to like you” as justification to answer the question of whether that person is ‘good manager material’ as everyone immediately points to ‘results achieved.’

Ok.

It’s bullshit.

And I know its bullshit.

And when your television and internet is lost for 4 days, and even though you may not be a heavy tv viewer, you end up having time to think and do things. So I ended up pulling a book off the shelf I haven’t read in a while. Peter Drucker’s “the new realities” from 1989. I have another post coming up inspired from the rereading but Drucker does a great job of simply outlining “what is management.”. And I have to tell you that a lot of us managers would do well to reread this book. And reread all early Drucker while you are at it. Oh. And company owners should too (by the way …they are also Management in case they have forgotten).

As P. Druddy <as Drucker was called by his closest friends> said:

Management has to be accountable for performance. But how is performance defined? How is it to be measured? How should it be enforced? And to whom should management be accountable? Management needs to face the fact they represent power and power has to be accountable … and it has to be legitimate <he means to a greater social good>. Management has to face up to the fact that they matter <in a societal responsibility way>.

What is management?

Is it a bag of techniques and tricks? A bundle of analytical tools like those taught n business schools? There are important as a thermometer and anatomy is important to a physician. But the evolution and history of management, its successes as well as its problems, teach that management is above all else a very few essential principles:

- Management is about human beings. The task is to make people capable of join performance, to make their strengths effective and their weaknesses irrelevant. We depend upon management for our livelihoods. And our ability to contribute to society also depends on management of the organizations in which we work as it does on our own skills, dedication and effort.

- Because management deals with the integration of people in a common venture it is deeply embedded in culture. What managers do in Germany, United Kingdom, United states, Japan or Brazil is exactly the same. How they do it may be quite different. This one of the basic challenges managers face is to find and identify those parts of their own tradition, history and culture that can be used as management building blocks. Every enterprise requires commitment to common goals and shared values. Without such commitment there is no enterprise, there is only a mob. The enterprise must have simple clear and unifying objectives. The mission of the organization has to be clear enough and big enough to provide common vision. The goals that embody it have to be clear, public and constantly reaffirmed. Management’s first job is to think through, set, and exemplify those objectives, values and goals.

- Management must enable the enterprise and each of its members to grow and develop as needs and opportunities change. Every enterprise is a learning and teaching institution. Training and development must be built into it on all levels – training and development that never stop.

- Every enterprise is composed of people with different skills and knowledge doing many different toes of work. It must be built on communication and on individual responsibility All members need to think through what they aim to accomplish and make sure their associates know and understand that aim. All have to think through what they owe others and make sure that others understand. All have to think through what they need from others and make sure that others know what is expected of them.

- Neither the quantity of output not the ‘bottom line’ is by itself an adequate measure of the performance of management and enterprise. Market standing (brand & reputation), innovation, production, development of people, quality, financial results are all crucial to an organizations performance and to its survival. Just as a human being needs a diversity of measures to assess his or her health and performance an organization needs a diversity of measures to assess its health and performance.

- Finally, the single most important thing to remember about any enterprise is that results exist only on the outside. The result f a business is a satisfied customer. The result of a healthy organization is a contribution to society. The result of a hospital is a healthy patient. The result of a school is a student who has learned something and puts it into practice at some later date. Inside an enterprise there are only costs.

Some thoughts <from me>.

While there are some gems I may come back to at some point … like “without such a commitment you only have a mob” and “make their strengths effective and their weaknesses irrelevant” … here are my rant-like thoughts:

• “individual responsibility.” Hmmmmmmmmmmmm it seems like we abuse this in today’s business world. We want to “empower employees” and expect them to assume “proactive individual responsibility” and yet we are not fulfilling some of Drucker’s other principles. Where is our responsibility to them? Where is the training? Where is the development? It seems to me that responsibility goes both ways <and, no, it is not just a paycheck from management side> and to ask one without offering the other is a medieval serf mentality.

• Organization ‘health’ …. When is the last time you heard this discussed in in anything other than financials (or some derivative of financials)? I cannot remember the last time anyone discussed culture and/or people’s true happiness as a measure of organization health … well … at least until maybe ‘we have hit the numbers.’

That said. “Management is about human beings.” Ok. Nowhere in that sentence do I see “numbers,” “results” or “profitability”. Am I foolish enough to believe that those three things aren’t important? Nope <I am foolish in other ways>. But his point is subtle. Maybe too subtle. If you manage the human beings well, effectively and they are happy, those three little words he excluded from that sentence will happen. THAT is why the sentence reads “management is about human beings.”

And.

I love the last thought.

The truly important problems managers face do not come from technology or politics; they do not originate outside of management and enterprise. Think about that …

“They are problems caused by the very success of the management itself.”

Drucker is actually suggesting that success breeds problems. How about that? What a great point. A point I am relatively sure that today’s managers do not think of. Today it seems like success breeds “process everyone should follow.”

Anyway.

Ignore my comments if you would like.

But don’t ignore Drucker’s comments.

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I have loved the stars too fondly

May 12th

Posted by Bruce in Favorite Quotes

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“though my soul may set in darkness

it will rise in perfect light.

i have loved the stars too fondly

to be fearful of the night.”

Sarah Williams “the old astronomer to the pupil”

Stars are special things.

I do not know anyone who hasn’t stopped … for a moment on a clear night … to look up and scan the stars and either wonder which constellation it is or point out Orion’s belt or find the North star.

I do not know anyone who hasn’t … even in the most hectic moments … noticed that one star on a cloudy dark night that has made its light force it’s way through the shroud of darkness that has been trying to cover it.

I also don’t know anyone who hasn’t made a wish on a star. No matter how practical or cynical they may be.

Now. I had no idea who Sarah Williams was when I read this poem for the first time. So with some research I was disappointed to find that the poem this stanza (the 4^th I believe) is pulled from is a literal tribute to science & astronomy.

Nuts.

Because I have found these words thought provoking far beyond the literal intent.

Why?

Well. First. While stars are special to astronomers … they are special to everyone.

Second. Simply … star gazing is something everyone should do.

Personally I have found looking up at the night sky when I was upset or a had lot was on my mind to be helpful. Kind of calming. And, certainly, hopeful.

On those days when random thoughts … sometimes negative thoughts … sometimes the less than positive thoughts … aw heck … any thoughts … start bouncing around in my head, I admit, I will take some time and look to the night sky searching for a star to distract me or give me some clarity (or maybe better said … some thought decluttering).

And, yeah, even to this day, I still do so <one would think I could have found a more logical sure-fire method by now … huh?>.

There is a simplicity in a star that permeates whatever else you may have rattling around in that pea like brain of ours and kind of gives you some space <I don’t know how else to word it>.

Its like the light of it kind of pushes everything else off to the side for a moment or two.

And that is helpful.

Because as happy as you may be with your life there are always thoughts floating around in your head of “ is there something better” or “have I settled” or any thoughts challenging “what is” in your life versus what could be.

And while it may sound pedantitic, if not silly, this is when looking up to the night sky and the stars and doing some star gazing seems to have it’s highest value.

Why? Not to look for tangible answers … because it would be silly to suggest that there answers in the stars.

Actually. You should do so because … well … there are not answers there (although wishing on a falling star is always a good idea just in case).

Maybe I will only suggest that … well … in their nothingness there is everything.

“I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night”

Because there are truly the dark moments in life … the nights when it was … well … dark. Completely dark. So dark you almost feel swallowed up in it all.

And those are the nights when you know you need a little light. Maybe just a spark. But some light.

And, yeah, you know where I am going with this … because I have an answer for anyone reading who has some of these nights.

Look up at the stars.

I promise you (with everything I have within me to promise something). The stars can guide you back to some light.

Things that may be chewing away at you somehow ease up a little. Or maybe they don;t ease up … they just lose some of their strength <I call it an infusion of some hope>.

Somehow there light pushes dark thoughts off to the side and in that emptiness whether you have a real wish or not there is some hope.

Hope for something better. And, no, I am not talking about hope for winning the lottery or solving any particular issue. In fact, that is my own fondness of the stars … they are not particular in what they have to offer … they offer the nebulous intangible positiveness of ‘something.’

Anyway.

Enough of that.

So. Here are some thoughts about stars.

There is a funny thing about stars … they come back every night no matter how good or bad your day was.

Whether you can only see a faint glimmer or a full constellation they are there.

They make great companions.

When everyone else is too busy … stars always have time to spare.

You can’t tell a star to go away because they won’t.

And no matter how complicated things get … well … a star remains simple.

With no expectations they patiently wait whatever you want to say to them or ask of them.

And they always carry a light with them … kind of like a glimmer of hope for something ‘better.’

Maybe Van Gogh said it best.

“For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.” – Vincent van Gogh

My thought for the day?

There is always time to look at the stars.

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observation of the day: people power

May 10th

Posted by Bruce in Rants and Observations

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“A wave of shareholder activism is shining light on ….” – subhead in The Guardian

“A new kind of outrage: Investors kick out against inflated pay packages” – headline in The Economist

So.

The issues America (and many countries) is having at the moment are complex but I wanted to make an observation of one thing … how everyday people can make a difference.

The topic? Leaders pay is out of whack.

I believe since the 70s the pay discrepancy between the top, middle and bottom has increased exponentially while overall company performance has not matched the shift. In addition. There seems like there has been a mindset shift. It is a little difficult to quantify but leaders in the 70s had a stronger philanthropic attitude as well as “taking care of others with my high earnings” attitude.

All that said … let me begin by defending leaders (a little).

First. The greater good.

While we would all like to believe we have an inner ethics compass we know for sure we all have an inner survival compass. Leaders are no different than the rest of us <albeit they earn exponentially more than us> in that there is such a sense of job insecurity these days it is really difficult to look beyond “self” for the “greater good” when you don’t know if you have a job tomorrow.

Second. CEO (or leaders pay).

Look. I have managed a couple of companies and I have no issue with a leader getting paid gobs of money. Until you have been in the shoes it is difficult to understand the incredible day in and day out pressure (does anyone ever notice a president enters office with no gray hair and leaves with a head of gray hair) and the fact that while no matter how well you delegate responsibilities every day you are making at least one decision every day, yes, every day … that could impact the future of the company (impact being profitability to complete failure).

Oh. And if anyone truly believes that a leader doesn’t realize she/he are managing people and the hard decisions they make impact people’s lives, they are nuts. The truly callous leader is a small minority. The majority are constantly weighing the benefit of the many versus the pain of the few. And the few who get screwed stick with them in sleepless nights.

Okay.

Now that I have defended … the compensation is out of whack.

But people can do somthing.

And, no, I don’t mean strikes or picketing.

The Guardian and The Economist have recently written articles on how shrehlders are stepping up and doing something.

In the past the majority of shareholders didn’t even vote. Didn’t need to. Why would they? They were making money.

Now? It’s a double whammy. Head and wallet.

Wallet they may not be getting the return they had before.

Head in that they realize the compensation is out of wack. So they are using their votes to reject the CEO/leader salary increase.

This is people stepping up and doing something and course correct.

compensation for executives is under scrutiny from shareholders, and investors, globally.

- Aviva, a British insurer with a downwardly mobile share price, announced on April 30th that its chief executive would forgo a planned pay rise because of shareholder criticism. The head of the compensation committee for Barclays was heckled at the bank’s annual meeting in London on April 27th. Big American banks cleverly scheduled their meetings away from the clamouring mobs of Wall Street—Citigroup went as far as Dallas and declined to provide a webcast. But its efforts could not muffle the bang made by a non-binding shareholder vote against a ludicrous compensation scheme for Vikram Pandit, its chief executive.

Citi is not alone. FirstMerit of Ohio also lost a shareholder vote in April, having granted its chief executive a steep rise despite single-digit returns on equity and a depressed share price. Three other large American financial firms received less than 65% approval on pay-related votes, a symbolic if not actionable threshold, according to Semler Brossy, a consultancy that began last year to collect data on these votes

Shareholder meetings used to be routine now they are becoming events for people to speak out.

When shareholders (a majority) vote then you know they are actually paying attention … and they actually believe they can do something.

Oh.

Hmmmmmmmmmm … on a separate note …

We have an election coming up. Maybe more than 40percent of all registered voters will actually vote.

Isn’t that why shareholders (citizens) get a vote? To course correct?

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life formulas

May 9th

Posted by Bruce in Personal & Nonsensical

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Life is not as simple as it seems. Or maybe it isn’t as complicated as it seems.

Shit.

Maybe its both … at exactly the same time.

I cannot remember where I found all these awesome “life formulas” but I love the way they take complex life things and simplify them into basic equations (note: I apologize to the creator for not being able to source).

And in their incredibly obvious simplicity there is a nuanced complexity that makes you think about the truth they contain.

The first one I ever saw was the truth equation.

Truth. What I think happened divided by what really happened.

Brilliant.

It got to the core truth behind … well … truth. And it makes you wonder a little why there isn’t a class somewhere in maybe high school where they teach you stuff like this. Or at least make you think like this. It may seem silly at first glance but it is a really interesting exercise.

And back to truth?

What you think divided by what really happened.

By dividing it can equal, diminish what you think or actually be bigger by such a margin it actually marginalizes what you originally thought.

Awesome.

And when I see Life defined by formulas like this I begin to think about what makes 100%.

Well.

It actually made me begin by thinking about “giving 110%.” Which is actually kind of silly when you think about it. Is it really possible to actually give more than 100%? <no>

And what the hell is more than 100%? (unless you are bionic you cannot answer that)

I do know as I think about this 110% thing it makes some want to bring one of these formulas along with me to a meeting and if someone suggests you to give over 100% (that infamous 110%) maybe I would force them to show us how to do just that mathematically.

When someone does say that … aren’t they really saying “give me 100% <because I know you are juggling things and I need you to focus on this>.”

So why can’t we just tell the truth and say “c’mon … its not extra effort … its just focus. Focus 100% on this.” <albeit it doesn’t sound as inspiring or leader like or gung ho-ish … yeah … I just typed ‘ho-ish’>.

Anyway.

From there I actually began thinking about the whole 100% we are supposed to give in life.

100% is tricky. Is it defined by effort, focus, the best of our abilities or the best we can do <at that time>?

Whew. Now THERE are some choices for ya.

Life is a constant juggling game <or a balancing act>. There’s always balancing that needs to be done. And there are always tradeoffs.

Ah.

But.

I think there is a difference between juggling and balancing.

Juggling is all about keeping track of a bunch of things … all up in the air.

Balancing is all about … well … balancing … evening things out.

It seems to me that is one is more controlled chaos-like <juggling> … and the other is a more prioritizing of actions <balancing>.

Wow. Makes me think of whether I am a juggler or a balancer. And that makes my head hurt.

Regardless.

Aw. Anyway <quit babbling Bruce>.

There is a simplicity that these formulas give us in thinking about life.

Disappointment being expectation divided by reality.

- Which suggests it is our own inability to manage our expectations that create a sense of disappointment. Makes you think a little, huh?

Shock being expectation minus expectation.

- The unequivocalness <that isn’t really a word> of this is brilliant.

Modern art being the belief you could do it plus the fact you didn’t.

- The formula nicely builds, instead of divides or subtracts, to heighten the value

The slight cynicism built into diamonds being forever … balanced by whether you are a jewel thief (awesome)

Oh.

And obligation.

This one is fabulous.

Starts with do. Just the action itself. Add on “the right thing” so value increases by doing the right thing … and then plus or minus the amount of guilt.

Very very nice.

I actually see a great class session for young people somewhere in this life formula idea. The ability to simplify the challenges, the decisions, the actions in life into equations. It is a nice way to be able to point out some complex critical thinking in life.

In the end, while it may seem silly, I think it is a good and interesting exercise.

Particularly if you are juggling, or balancing, a bunch of crap and making so many judgment calls your head seem like it is going to explode … these simple formulas, in a really weird way, provide perspective.

Maybe you have an obligation to give this a shot if you feel overwhelmed with life.

Because maybe, in their simplicity, maybe you find more balance.

And that … I am pretty sure in my pea like brain … is a good thing.

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finagle’s Law

Apr 30th

Posted by Bruce in Business Thoughts

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Well. I imagine I am way behind the rest of the cool people <who already know what finagle’s law is> but I just discovered it. Maybe because I had always known it as Murphy’s Law.

The generalized or `folk’ version of Murphy’s Law, fully named “Finagle’s Law of Dynamic Negatives” and usually rendered “Anything that can go wrong, will” (source: Urban Dictionary)

Finagle’s Law comes from science fiction author Larry Niven who, in several stories, depicted a frontier culture which celebrated a religion <or a running joke> which involved the worship of the dread god Finagle … and his mad prophet Murphy <hence the source of ‘murphy’s law’>.

Ok. About Finagles ´Law <before I get to the point of this little writeup>. It is an amazingly cool extraordinary mixture of cruel logic … as well as somewhat scarily indicative of everyday life. Just in case you didn’t know here is Finagle’s logic:

- What we have is not what we need.

- What we want is not what we need.

- What we need is impossible to get.

- You can get hold of this information for a much higher price then you are prepared to pay.

Ok. Here is the coolest thought. One of my favorite blogs, 50topmodels, actually wondered if Finagle´s Law got it all wrong and reexamined it as … Yhprum´s Law (Yhprum is Murphy backwards).

They actually analyzed it under the theory that ‘everything that can work, will work’ quoting Richard Zeckhauser <Harvard> “sometimes systems that should not work, work nevertheless.“

Ok. It is that last thought that made me sit up and think and decide to write.

Why?

Well. “Systems that should not work …do.” How often do people design perfect systems in the workplace, under the guise of ‘this is the way its done’ and, ultimately, it is just another inefficient process & system? Or maybe it is easy to do so everyone just does things going through the motions? Or the perfect system is <gasp> measured on its efficiency and therefore everyone simply tries to ‘hit the measurement numbers”?

On the other hand.

Someone else builds a system and has everyone working within this system that has those ‘people who designed perfect systems’ scratching their heads and saying that will never work … and, uh oh, it does work.

Yhprum´s Law. Huh? Well. Organizations are living organisms.

And just as placebos can work (lets call that the power of the mind) … a system that should not work … well … does. Why?

Because whether things work or not is often up to the people. And people are inconsistent in that they consistently do unexpectedly great things. In addition sometimes mistakes become stepping stones to blinding success. Oh. And the systems that shouldn’t work gain significant improvements thru some trial & error while the perfect systems remain … well … stagnant – never improving. Maybe it is that last thought that is so controversial in my thinking.

Perfection is often a thief. It steals fresh thinking.

Business, in general, like life, is messy. Sure. We seek perfection. It is kind of like the holy grail of ‘job well done.’

Here is the funny thing about attaining perfection.

Realistically we should be seeking to immediately change, rather than replicate, if we actually stumble upon it. ‘Doing it right’ is simply a level. And attaining levels of ‘perfection’ is good but also breeds an aspect of complacency or rote. And unless you are putting together a car, or a bomb <as an example>, in my mind we should always be aware the process is a means to an end.

Another sad thing about perfection. Nothing is ever really perfect. So when we put the label on something we are already in a bad place. As noted in alternative phrases for Finagle’s Law … let’s maybe call it “not quite the right thing.” It seems to me that systems & process reside most often closest to that phrase. And to a perfectionist that is bad and to others it is just not quite the right thing.

Ok. As for systems that shouldn’t work? the imperfect systems? The power of the mind suggest that everything that can work will work … sometimes better than others.

Oh.

And if you have that attitude .. an attitude to, rather than finding the flaws, instead focusing on the mistakes made … in my mind you end up seeking to better the system.

Ok. Moving on.

There is another aspect to Murphy’s Law … “If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it.”

Now. If you think about that from a logic perspective … this suggests <for example> that if someone plugs in a toaster backwards and it fries itself, the problem isn’t just that some idiot plugged it in backward, but that it was able to be plugged in backwards in the first place.

In other words … the flaw isn’t in the person … but rather the design. And people just make mistakes <and are not flawed>.

If you believe that … then maybe when mistakes are made we shouldn’t be blaming people but rather seeking to design a better system. Not ‘perfect’ systems but systems with the minimum opportunity for flaws. Call it constant improvement.

If you don’t believe that then you end up simply assuming people will make mistakes, some big … some small … some stupid <or some derivative of stupid> … some smart <yeah … you can still do something really smart and make a mistake>. As I stated earlier … systems are a means to an end therefore using Finagle’s Law everyone should be focusing more on the people aspect. And not in a “you suck” perspective but rather a deeper understanding for why and how mistakes are made.

Mistakes are part of life.

I actually believe more managers should have the chart above in their offices and when mistakes are made identify which aspect the mistake characterizes. It may make us better managers and it may make for better systems (and certainly better managers of people).

Anyway.

The true Finagle’s Law is much more twisted than “anything that can go wrong will go wrong.” The Law also allows for things going well. It’s like as if the universe is merely lulling you into a false sense of security before proceeding to screw you. It also allows for things that can’t go wrong … going wrong <and within Finagle’s Law this counts as Gone Horribly Right.>

Regardless.To end this I wanted to share some last thoughts on Finagle’s Law. The law owes its existence more or less entirely to the Rule of Drama, and is especially common in Crapsack Worlds where things that do go wrong tend to go wrong in the worst possible way.

Finagle’s Law also suggests that Life has a pretty warped sense of humor in that it is obsessed with making your life as difficult and humiliating as possible.

On a slightly serious note … I imagine the potential for danger in everyday Life, within the Law, can do one of two things:

- make you scared to do anything

- make you assume that you cannot ever do anything right

I could write gobs about both of those but instead I am hoping that what I have written about Finagle’s Law suggests that successfully navigating Life takes some flexibility. If perfection is your thing … well … Finagle will be your constant companion and friend.

Take Life with a grain of salt. Things go wrong. Even when they aren’t supposed to. And things go right. Even when they aren’t supposed to.

Last. And just so you are fully aware of ‘the Law’ here are optional expressions of Finagle’s Law <so you recognize them>:

- A Simple Plan

- Butterfly of Doom

- Consolation Backfire

- Cosmic Plaything

- Disaster Dominoes

- Destructive Saviour

- Deus Angst Machina when taken Up to Eleven

- Everything Trying to Kill You in videogames

- Failsafe Failure

- Failure Is the Only Option

- The Fun in Funeral

- Gave Up Too Soon

- Law of Disproportionate Response

- Inverse Law of Utility and Lethality

- It Got Worse

- Magnum Opus Dissonance

- Mistimed Revival

- Murphy’s Bed

- Murphy’s Bullet

- My Car Hates Me

- Not Quite The Right Thing

- Out with a Bang

- Phlebotinum Breakdown

- Ashes to Crashes

- Doomed New Clothes

- Watch the Paint Job

- The Precious, Precious Car

- Random Number God

- Retirony

- Springtime for Hitler

- Tempting Fate

- Unspoken Plan Guarantee

- Useless Superpowers

- What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

- You Can’t Thwart Stage One

- Your Princess is in Another Castle

Anyway.

Finagle’s Law. Murphy’s Law. Or. My favorite? “Not quite the right thing.” Life is perfectly imperfect. You can either accept it or end up in a loony bin some day.

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the flaw in creativity collaboration

Apr 26th

Posted by Bruce in Business Thoughts

4 comments

Ok.

This is not a popular point of view these days.

I am a firm believer, that in the creativity business, collaboration isn’t good.

Well. “isn’t good” is like saying “never” or “it always sucks” or something like that.

Let’s just say creativity isn’t about collaboration.

And I found a quote that says it perfectly:

“Art is I; science is we.” – Claude Bernard

I didn’t know who good ole Claude was until I found this quote … he was a man of science … in fact .. among many other accomplishments, he was one of the first to suggest the use of blind experiments to ensure the objectivity of scientific observations.

Anyway.

He says it best.

Art, and true creativity, is really an ‘I’ business. Ideas generated from an individual. Where creativity is sparked within. Look. Others can stoke the fire but an individual has to provide the spark. There you go … an original idea originates from an individual,

And let me dig myself into a deeper hole … in addition … by including others the original idea is rarely sharpened but rather dulled.

Ok. Science on the other hand is about We.

A confluence of factors & minds each sharpening that type of idea.

Ok.

He also said:

“The living body, though it has need of the surrounding environment, is nevertheless relatively independent of it. This independence which the organism has of its external environment, derives from the fact that in the living being, the tissues are in fact withdrawn from direct external influences and are protected by a veritable internal environment which is constituted.”

Once again.

A science thought … but a good life thought.

And a nice thought to complete the thought on creativity and collaboration.

Original creativity in thinking is relatively independent from the external environment. In the end an individual can absorb, can discuss, can incorporate as much of the ‘external environment’ that is necessary to feed creativity … but the idea resides within the individual.

That’s it.

That’s my thought.

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what will become of us?

Apr 13th

Posted by Bruce in Favorite Quotes

No comments

“because of you the days to come will be better than the days before this one.”

So.

I have been participating in another TED discussion with regard to the youth and education and a distressingly pessimistic view of who they will be and what they will become <a post/rant/observation is forthcoming on that soon>. That discussion has certainly made me sit back and think. And much of it has also clearly brought to the forefront why the project global generation web based education initiative has not gained traction.

Anyway. All the pessimism reminded me of something I had read.

Because sometimes you read something that is almost so perfect that you want to store it away and use yourself at some later date.

Thankfully I have a blog where I can write them down and post them so when I want to use it I can just send someone a link.

This is about telling a child what they can expect from life.

What will become of us? (asked the children to her mother) …

—-

“What I imagine is that you will live magnificent lives.

And that you will live lives of quiet disappointment.

You won’t be able to explain why. But there will always be some failure. You will strive for greatness and justice and you will help to make our nation wondrous.

You will be great but you will also fail at many of the things dearest to you.

And people – even ones you love – will disappoint you.

You will know great loves and you will have dear friends and you will be part of something bigger than you.

You will never be alone. And yet some of those you hold dearest will betray you, envy you over things they perceive you have that they do not. At times – even within a crowd and noise – you will feel strangely lost.

You will find gifts that are special to you but you will never understand why such things were thrust upon you.

You may curse the world for always spinning never pausing and yet this motion will be the music to which you dance.

In the end, I hope, you will come to feel that none of the life you lead could have been any different, any better or worse. You will find meaning in accepting many things you cannot understand or change. And if you live a long life you will grow tired and that will be alright because you will have done the best you can do during your lives.

You will take into the future all that has ever been for us. Because of you the days to come will be better than the days before this one.” – Mena Akaran

Can you ever imagine telling a child anything better?

“because of you the days to come will be better than the days before this one.”

Every child should hear this.

And, frankly, I wish more people would feel this way about our youth rather than bitching about what they are not or what they cannot do.

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unicorns & rainbows

Apr 5th

Posted by Bruce in Favorite Quotes

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“The unicorn is a lonely, solitary creature that symbolizes hope.” – Ally McBeal

So. This is about unicorns.

And I guess about people who see unicorns.

Crazy? Sure. Sounds it.

But hopefully it also makes you think about the people who seem to keep a vision of hope … and use it, however they elect to keep that hope at hand, to help them through the days and weeks.

So. This thought all began after watching this Ally McBeal episode the other day. I felt compelled to write about hope and, well, unicorns and how sometimes people go to some extreme, if not bizarre, ways to hold on to some light in seemingly dark days.

And while the episode was about the holidays I thought it was pretty relevant for any day (these days).

What do I mean?

Well.

I was going to try and right some whizbang words but instead I found something that someone wrote on their blog (sorry .. forgot who) that seemed to create the perfect reason for why seeing unicorns is perfectly acceptable …

What has made it challenging for me to write this is the darkness that I experience through the world’s anguish at this time. I am not living in days of light—I am living in days in need of light. I need to remember in this time of darkness that there are many who are seeking light.

I listen to the rantings of politicians who seem far more caught up in ideology and party positioning than they do in honestly meeting the deep challenges of our economy, the needs of our people, and caring for our planet. I witness the kindest of people being too busy to adequately separate their own food waste and recycling from their trash to reduce the build-up of what is becoming our planetary garbage dump. I witness fires and weather destroying lives and property and then reflect on the consequence of our priorities when we are unable to respond adequately. In this season of cold, I see the homeless in our own community seeking shelter from the wet and the winter.

And even, perhaps, more sharply, I returned from Israel more aware than ever of the incredibly wide divide between the humanity we perceive and the inhumanity shown by the actions of the leaders in that troubled region.

Right here at home, I am troubled by the inaction of so many of us who speak words of reconciliation, words of peace, words of promise, yet continue to find enemies who need to be stopped rather than people who need to be invited into the dialogue.

Yes, all that is true, yet I need to remember in this time of darkness that there are many who are seeking light.

Look. That sounds … well … dark. But I elect to focus on the ‘light’ or the refusal to give up on hope portion.

I don’t know if it’s the economy or the news or a general feeling of unrest but I do believe a lot of people just seem to be more empty these days. Well. Certainly less full of hope if they aren’t completely empty.

And in this Ally McBeal episode someone was fired for saying he saw a unicorn.

Well. I would imagine all of us would take this with a grain of salt (if not believe the person had completely lost their mind).

Yet the judge in the episode suggests “there are a lot of lonely people out there, looking for hope in strange places.”

In the end the judge decides that those people can keep their unicorns.

You know? It sounds a little crazy … and Whipper (the judge on Ally McBeal) was a quasi-nutcase on a show full of nutcases … but … you know what? I agree.

Some people need to believe that they have seen a unicorn. It doesn’t mean they are nuts … people need to find hope however they can … some people just see the unicorn as hope.

And, frankly, (and one of the characters says this also) … why should anyone have any say in where a person may look for that hope?

For god’s sake … all people want to be happy … and different people just get there in different ways. And if someone elects to use a unicorn? Well, geez, it could be worse, couldn’t it?

One of the characters in the episode says … “who’s to say the ones who dream of unicorns aren’t the lucky ones these days.”

I know … I know … this sounds nuts … but think about it.

Supposedly people who see them share some of the unicorn’s traits … they may be lonely but with virtuous hearts.

Mythology also suggests that only pure spirits can approach the unicorn.

In the Ally McBeal episode Ally recalls one time when she touched a unicorn and the character who saw it said he didn’t get close to the unicorn … but (here is the part that maybe makes you think a little) … “but he won’t have another chance if he stops believing in the unicorn.”

Ok. That is a bigger thought than just a wacky tv show.

If we ask all people to stop “believing in unicorns” do people lose any chance of reaching what they hope for?

Whew.

C’mon.

The unicorn is a symbol of innocence and purity.

I know all of this sounds crazy (and it even looks crazy as I type it) … but … don’t we really want more of these people in today’s world?

In fact … chinese mythology says the fact that a unicorn has not been seen in many centuries suggests that we are living in “bad” times. It will appear once again when the time is right and when goodness reigns.

So maybe the people who see unicorns are actually the hope for the rest of us. Maybe they are the ones “where goodness reigns.”

Regardless.

If it isn’t that “big” … maybe someone who sees a unicorn somehow just feels safer. And I have no right to not allow someone that right in today’s world.

Also (and … boy … coming from a realist like me … this is gonna sound really odd) … I don’t know if I can explain it, but knowing that maybe someone out there can actually see a unicorn … well … maybe in a weird way they give me hope.

Now that I have typed that … it reminds me of something else another character said …

And, I’m afraid say it out loud because maybe if life finds out it’ll try to beat it out of them and that will be a shame.

Because, we all can use a little hope sometimes, you know. That feeling that everything’s going to be okay and that there’s going to be someone there to help make sure of that.

There are people who can make you believe in things you can’t see. and I think we miss that these days.

Look.

It’s a hard time for everyone these days but it is a particularly hard time for dreamers these days.

We all tend to think of dreams as a big, fluffy cloud that is surrounded by rainbows and unicorns.

So instead of ‘unicorns & rainbows’ we tend to focus on a mission … that everything in our lives would instantly be perfect if only we could have ABC, or do XYZ.

Well.

Maybe that the mission is really the fantasy … or, at minimum, part of the problem.

Maybe all those ‘missions’ are cramming up all our space that would have held dreams. And, really, this isn’t about going after your dreams but rather dreaming … and having hope … for something good and big and … well … maybe something that isn’t always tangible but intangible that lifts the heart and spirit.

I say all of this knowing that some readers will think this is wacky … but I also hope that people realize there is no right or wrong answer.

Being in the hope business is tricky these days and, as I said earlier, it’s tough being a dreamer these days.

But.

In fact I almost wish I was in the used rainbow business. I think people would be willing to buy discount dreams and discounted rainbows. What I mean by that is people would be willing to set aside the ‘big’ dreams and maybe pick up someone else’s that have been discarded … and they still look pretty good to reality.

In the meantime … maybe I should look for some people who make wishes on rainbows and see unicorns.

Cause I know it’s not really in my personal DNA to see unicorns.

And maybe that means I am not one of the lucky ones.

Maybe we need more rainbows (used or not).

Maybe we need more people who can see unicorns.

Here is what I am absolutely sure we need.

I do know is that hope is a must.

If you don’t have it, you’ve got to find it … lapses in hope happen and are okay … but you have to find it however you must … and maybe that is why I agree with the judge in Ally McBeal … let those people have their unicorns … who am I to judge on how someone holds on to hope.

Regardless.

Ally McBeal was an odd tv show.

But several episodes are must see for everyone.

This is one.

It may just remind you that seeing unicorns isn’t as wacky as you thought it was.

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I fail, you fail, we all fail. Here is our tale.

Mar 14th

Posted by Bruce in Rants and Observations

2 comments

So.

I wanted to write something on failure and started … stopped … started again … stopped.

Well. I don’t know why but it was hard for some reason.

Harshly? I failed.

I failed at something I wanted to do. But. If creating a blog has taught me one thing <if that is at least one criteria of failing> that I fail constantly.

Little failures? Sure.

But a failure nonetheless.

Oh. And if you are not careful little failures are like dying a death of a thousand cuts.

Regardless.

That REALLY got me thinking about several things … the word failure (and how little it seems to be used these days) and failing itself & lessons and all that crap.

So I went hunting.

Hunting for some inspiration for the right words to say about failing and failure.

My first hunt.

Choose the Right Word by Hayakawa (almost my bible of word descriptions).

It didn’t fail me here.

“Failing” fell under Flaw <wow … I could write an entire book over that little insight>.

Flaw has a variety of aspects … blemish, defect, failing, fault, foible, imperfection, mar, shortcoming.

Regardless.

Failure is a reflection of a flaw.

An imperfection (which seems okay).

A defect (which seems not okay).

Is failure a reflection of a defective product <product being … well … us … a human … a person>?

That seems harsh. Ok. Maybe extreme.

But.

In terms of “truth to oneself” think about this … ‘imperfection’ points more often to a lack that may be a matter of opinion (Hayakawa).

Well. THAT certainly makes it easier to say “I am imperfect … I have failed.” Because, well, it is on a basis of opinion (and everyone has opinions).

Failure, on the other and, suggests a more severe shortcoming that has more severe consequences.

How ‘bout that?

There is some tough love.

The word failure is tough love.

A severe shortcoming.

And if you have a shortcoming … well … there are consequences. In fact … more severe consequences.

And maybe in this politically correct world we want to soften up things a little … and we don’t ‘fail’ but rather we made a mistake or took a step on the path to success or whatever.

Maybe it is better to just say we failed at something.

I don’t know.

But I do believe we should be better at admitting failure. I believe it should be more acceptable to say “you failed” <without it being construed in a negative way>.

I do believe we should be better at understanding we have failings … and they have consequences.

Now. Notice. Hayakawa never, anywhere, attached “negative” or “bad” adjectives to consequences. He simply points out that failures suggest shortcomings leading to consequences.

And that, my friends, is a Life truth … and more people <in my eyes> should just step up to the plate and accept that truth without all the suggestions that they keep you from being a successful or ‘whole’ person.

We fail. And maybe it is because of some shortcoming and absolutely I am assuming that shortcoming will create at least one dead end in your life (toward some success). But it doesn’t mean that it keeps you from some other path to success.

It does not mean you are a failure. It just may mean you have failed, and you may fail consistently, if you pursue that path.

Ok.

Next.

And when I went hunting I found a blog focused solely on failure. And it wasn’t bad or negative or even totally depressing.

Now. It certainly wasn’t uplifting by any stretch of the imagination but it was kind of an interesting glimpse into what I assume was a normal every day woman kind of getting a grip on life.

And this blog is her way of doing it … by embracing failure (she actually has a post called “why have a blog about failure?”: http://soyoufailed.wordpress.com/2010/08/31/why-have-a-blog-about-failure/)

As she says in her ‘about me’ section:

Who am I?

- I am female

- I’m in my mid 30′s

- I live in the Bay Area, California

- My day job is as a User Experience Designer (my 24 hour/day job is “failure” )

- I am a mother of 2 beautiful boys

- My “other” interests besides failure are photography, learning to play the guitar, and user experience design.

I loved it.

“my other interests beyond failure …” Nice perspective.

The site has glimpses of insight <albeit I wonder if writing nonstop about failure is completely healthy>. And while absolutely focused on failure, which I equate to a songwriter trying to write every song about a falling star <or God>, there are truly some nice perspectives on failing.

And all written from an everyday perspective.

Anyway.

About a failure <she says as one of 5 things> …

5. You learned something.
And that’s what life is all about. Learning something. In failing you probably learned something about yourself, about someone else, about a situation, about how to do something better next time. Failing is so valuable. Don’t focus on the failure. Focus on what you got from that failure.

So go ahead, fail on!

(nice closing line by the way)

Life is about learning.

Life is about failure.

I imagine the corollary thought would be “how boring would life be if we never failed?” there is such a stigma attached to failure … and the word itself. In fact, to be politically correct, I probably shouldn’t use the word failure.

It would be “trial & error” (what a bunch of bullhockey).

Look.

We fail.

And it’s okay to fail.

And it’s even okay to fail on some of the really Big things in life. Not that you try to … just that … well … we do.

It is called Life.

- Marriages fall apart even when you don’t really want them to.

- You try to win a game but you don’t.

- You try and lose those 10 pounds and you don’t.

- You try and be the best friend you can but miss when a good friend needs you.

Some are big things. Some are small things.

But all ‘things’ examples of failing at something.

And, once again, that’s okay. It’s cool.

You aren’t a failure just because you failed.

And that is a big, no HUGE, distinction.

You aren’t a failure … unless … you don’t pay attention to #5 (you learned something). You just failed.

Because, in fact, some failures are just part of life.

Maybe these are “failings” rather than failures but … well … whatever. Semantics.

I guess my point here is don’t aim to fail <as if any of us actually would, huh?> but recognize you do fail. And accept it IS failing.

Lastly.

Here is a great example of how failure … well … happens. And we (who are perfect of course) looking at failure happening right before our eyes … need to be very very <very> careful in our judgement with regard to failings and failure.

Let me give you a really big example … a really good one … which was part of this whole ‘failure’ blog:

… my crisis started. I had reached a point where I just could not figure out what to do. I was crying and weeping and just could not calm myself down. I got to the point when I had to ask myself, “What will make you sane and get you through this moment? What will keep you from killing yourself right now?” And to me, and it is a different thing for everybody, smoking had always been the thing that I turned to when I got to such a low point. It was what got me to calm down and take a moment and just be present. For some it could be a stiff drink, a dozen donuts, or a shopping spree. For me it was smoking. So I did it. I failed my abstinence. I went to the closest Walgreens, bought a pack, and smoked a cigarette.

And I admit, I failed even more and bought two more packs to get me through lower lows these past few months. I gave myself a break. I thought, it is better to have a crutch to get through these horrible days, than to be perfect and not have a crutch and go crazy. I took it easy on myself, I “failed” myself. Or more like I let myself have what I needed. I think at some point in our lives, when we need to, we should give in to ourselves. In our darkest times, we need to stop and think about what we need to get us through it. If you need to spend $1000 on clothing to save yourself, do it.

But know when it is time to stop. Know when the break needs to be over. Know when the fail needs to stop. For me that break is over now. I need to stop smoking now, before it becomes a full blown addiction again. Before it spirals out of control. Now it is becoming less helpful and is on the brink of being harmful. And so, while it is still easy to stop, I have stopped. I no longer need my crutch. It has done its job. It has gotten me through my darkest times.

I hope that for you, when you are going through a tough time, that you are able to stop and think about what crutch you need to get you through, and that you let yourself have that and let yourself fail. But I also hope that at some point, when you are healed, you are able to gracefully lay the crutch down.

Big thought in there.

“In our darkest times, we need to stop and think about what we need to get us through it. If you need to spend $1000 on clothing to save yourself, do it.

But know when it is time to stop. Know when the break needs to be over. Know when the fail needs to stop.”

Failing always needs context.

No. It doesn’t need excuses … just context.

I wrote about this kind of thing over a year ago … I stated there and then I was wrong … wrong in a way that this blogger said it best.

Here is what I said: http://brucemctague.com/doubt-part-3-crushed-between-internal-and-external-doubt

(the key words from that post)

Do what it takes to keep it alive. Keep your sense of I and don’t lose it.

Whatever it takes.

Let me repeat.

Whatever it takes.

In the past I have judged people who have leaned on religion. Leaned on prescription drugs. Leaned on self help books. Leaned on betterment programs.

Well. I have been a fool.

And ignorant.

A stupid ignorant fool.

For whatever path one chooses to maintain their flame is the right path. And a good path. And a path well taken.

You do whatever it takes to keep the flame alive and don’t get crushed by doubt. That’s it. Bottom line.

I didn’t know better words at that time but in my head I saw some things as “failings”, or failure, in people and was making my own judgments on their actions.

Look.

We have rules. We have guidelines. We have distinctions between what is right and wrong. And if we don’t meet them we ‘fail.’

Yes. All of that is true.

Yet.

In dark times … you have to do whatever you have to do to cross that dark bridge.

Whatever. Even if it means ‘failing’ in some form or fashion. Even if it means that it LOOKS like failure in someone else’s eyes.

The blogger is right.

It is okay to fail.

Failing does not make you a failure.

By the way …. Here is the site:

I fail, you fail, we all fail. Here is our tale.

http://soyoufailed.wordpress.com/

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dirty windows

Mar 5th

Posted by Bruce in Favorite Quotes

No comments

“And I do not assume that my experience is universal. It is simply mine, and I offer it to you as a window, dirty though that window may be.” – opticalnoise (a blogger)

Ah.

Sometimes young people say things with the type of panache you only expect from older people.

This young blogger wrote the quote and I liked it enough to use it.

Experiences are personal (unless there is enough similar critical mass to make it quasi-universal).

And in the business world I often find myself debating with people when they offer their experience as …. well … not dirty but rather … well … universal (and that is an issue).

Two thoughts.

- Research of one is not research.

- The odds that the person relating the experience (in business management) actually reflects mainstream American (or any mainstream consumer) is so low that even Las Vegas wouldn’t take them odds.

Bottom line? Realize that your experience is most likely not universal (particularly when discussing business … but beware on personal advice also).

This may seem like a no brainer, but I can’t tell you how often this basic rule is ignored. I think a large part of it is that is because people personalize their experience (or their wife/husband’s) that they cannot fathom that no one else feels exactly the same way.

Anyway.

All that said I am now going to share my dirty window experience list (although I actually stole the thought from a blogger named arina and put my own dirt on some different windows).

I created the list because I almost have it all figured out (yeah … not so much). Thinking back from my personal experiences I believe there are a few universal experiences (let’s call them windows we all peer through on occasion just for the sake of this post) that seemingly work without fail throughout life:

- The Karma window

Karma is this random thing floating out there in the ether that somehow impacts cause & effect on all of us. Simplistically … for every action there is a reaction. Yeah. Every action <and thought just in case you have forgotten>. It is amazing to me how often we forget that our actions always, yes, always, have repercussions.

Whatever force we exert … things we send into the ether around us in the form of our thoughts, feelings and actions … comes back to us in kind (if not sometimes multiplied). There are no exceptions and you get no free passes. Oh. Please note I included thoughts & feelings in the “cause” column. That is truly the Karma aspect. Somehow … someway … thoughts & feelings enter into the ether as some type of tangible force (or ’cause’) that often creates a nuclear-sized effect. Never forget that.

- The Life window

This may actually be a different pane of glass in the Karma window. We are all connected by invisible glass in one window … called the Life window. When we hurt someone or when we pass judgment on someone … we are affected as well. Sorry. Life, for some reason, just likes to keep everything balanced.

What that means is you are probably better off (or more likely to be happy) if you attach what you care about (and Life objectives) with good intentions for other people. If you look at it selfishly, when your objectives benefit other people there is less difficulty in achieving them. Oh. And others will assist you. If you don’t look at it selfishly … well … just assume more good shit will happen in your life if you do good shit (and think good shit about other people).

- The Creation window

Everyone is creative and every one has unlimited creative potential. It is just how you define creation. Create art. Create financial success. Create the most awesome balance sheet your company has ever had. Create a kid that will be the next president. Everyone one of us has the potential to create some type of greatness. You just have to make sure the window is open and the blinds are open. Oh. And make sure you know that you actually have that window.

- The Neutrality window

Life is neutral. It does not play favorites. This is probably a derivative of the balance thing. In the absence of good & evil Life probably wouldn’t choose sides but rather stay in bed taking a nap. Life does not decide someone is more important or less significant. Life never randomly punishes. Life never randomly rewards. Nothing is random but pretty much (with some notable exceptions) everything is earned. Everyone is given an opportunity to learn something (which ultimately is the key opportunity for personal success). Everyone pretty much has a chance in Life (albeit it is tougher for some people than others).

- The Action window

This is the window right next to the neutrality window. In the absence of individual action Life will do its own things in its own time. Life does not just happen to us. It requires our active participation. Remember. Life is neutral. If you are inactive … Life is inactive <with you>. It will not take interest in you until you take interest in it. It is too busy paying attention to people paying attention to it.

- The You cannot Ignore ‘What is’ window

“What is” will evolve into “what will be” when ignored. That I guarantee. In other words … you will continue to receive what Life gives you even if you refuse to accept it. If we ignore our problems, they will only get bigger and more urgent. If we ignore opportunities, they will cease to exist. If we refuse to learn lessons from the past, larger, more serious, lessons will be given to us. If we obsessively pursue a goal or idea that is not right for us, it will elude us until we accept that we can live without it.

- The Stagnancy window

This one is the opposite side of the Action window pane. And this one is a warning. Stagnancy is addictive. What I mean by this is, if the view from your window is awesome, you can find yourself sitting there doing nothing but enjoying it. So. This I guarantee … it may be a beautiful view today but if you don’t move … and just stay there … it will lose its appeal. Stagnancy is the death of inner growth and happiness (or seeing beauty in life). When you do not use skills you lose them. Similar, without continuing effort in personal growth, you are doomed to fall back as Life continues moving. What happens then? Obsolescence. Life, and people, and thoughts, and whatever …. just pass you by.

- The Impatient window

Impatience is sneaky in life. Sometimes it can disguise itself as ambition or ‘goals’ or things like that. Because the allure, and desire, of success is something we all desire. And we may like the idea of instant gratification or easy success or short cuts … but deep down all of us know that things of value have to be earned. And that is where impatience rears its ugly head. You are peddling as hard as you can toward success … but as look through this window you are impatient, and it is challenging, because you want it NOW … but this window is about patiently waiting for the reward to come in its own time. Ok. This doesn’t mean you should be scared to do things nor shouldn’t be ambitious … this is more about having some common sense. Good things typically don’t come easy. If it were all that easy anyone could do it. Maybe learn to be patiently impatient for success.

- The Reality-based Optimism window

Here is a reality <2 of them actually>. Negativity begets negativity. If you think negatively I can guarantee you will never attain happiness. Uh oh. But. If you always think optimistically I can guarantee you will always be disappointed (sorry about that).

So can you ever be happy? Yup. By being realistic, but being optimistic. A truth in this window? Good things DO happen to good people. Well. Let me be specific … that is ‘good people who exhibit some reality-based goodness’. By the way … for anyone who wants to debate the view from this window …. research (published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences) predicted in simulated models that generosity/trust pays. Mathematically they found it pays to be trusting in the long run even though you will sometimes be cheated (so that is how Santa can figure out how to assess naughty or nice).

- The Trade-off window

For everything you gain you have to give up something else. A simple complex one.

And the last.

- The Desire window

This window sometimes has a weird filter over it that makes things not look as they really are. What I mean by that is not everything we go after is what we truly want. Sometimes we only think we know what we want … and sometimes we don’t know what we want until we get it. Maddening? You bet. But everyone has this window. Unfortunately this window is most typically found in the main room so you look through it a lot. This window is also, individually, often the dirtiest. You will be tempted to go to other people’s houses and look thru their “desire window” and hope for some guidance. Sorry. No can do. Your Desire window is your Desire window. I kind of think they are like snowflakes … no 2 the same. You will probably not have a more aggravating window in your home. Too bad. Every home has one.

So.

There you go. I will admit though … while I made my personal experiences universal … I do look through other people’s dirty windows as often as I can. Like the opening quote said … they offer a view … regardless of how dirty the view may be.

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