Enlightened Conflict

why we have sex (typically) indoors

April 28th, 2012

Well. Let’s chalk this one up as another example of “research has been done on everything.”

In addition to that … using research … every once in a while I like to enlighten people to some of the hazards in life so they can avoid them.

Here you go.

The hazard: Public sex can be extremely dangerous.

Oh.

The research: An Australian zoologist Darrell Kemp conducted a study that has confirmed the assumption that public sex can be dangerous to the lives of the lovers.

Ok.

I have to pause here.

“Confirmed the assumption.”

Huh? I never assumed having sex in public was dangerous … well … at least life endangering.

The study?  Studying the process of Sphex wasps hunting the Australian locust <now THAT was a blast to type> he discovered that those locusts “in love” were attacked by predators more frequently.

Good news for us guys?

Females were much less lucky than males.

While researchers agree that sex is a healthful and pleasant exercise <thank god they agree on that>, they also suggest that few are aware of the fact that sex can also be very dangerous.

Quote: “Many predators prefer to hunt for those who, forgetting everything in the world, are selflessly engaged in procreation”.

While many biologists agree with this statement, until now, nearly no one tried to calculate what percentage of those who have sex may be caught by predators.

So it was up to this guy named Kemp who finally decided to answer the question everyone has been asking … and assessed the risk of death during sex using numbers.

The objects of his study were representatives of the Australian locust (Chortoicetes terminifera) and preying on them … the local wasp Sphex cognatus <think of the locust as lovers of outdoor sex and the local wasp as a predator>.

Oh. This is important.

It should be noted that adult Sphex do not feed on locusts, as well as grasshoppers, mantises or stick insects. Like the Olympic gods, they are content with flower nectar.

They attack these insects only to feed their babies. Having noticed the victim, Sphex jumps on it, paralyzes it, and drags it into a hole where it will serve as food for the wasp larvae.

Whew.

Glad I cleared that up for everyone.

(note: if you see a Sphex … and it looks like it is going to jump … well … move – that’s a freebie …)

These Sphex hunters are most active in the beginning of the Australian summer (December), when the locust usually begins to gather in flocks. It is in these flocks where mass mating occurs <some people call this “an orgy”>.

Having conducted a series of experiments, the biologist noted that, while mating locusts accounted for approximately three percent of the total number, they were attacked first.

In contrast, single species rarely suffered from attacks of predators. And males were generally not attacked.

According to his calculations, in nine out of ten cases Sphex preferred to paralyze females, and only one in ten males. The predators are were apparently attracted by the larger size of female locusts.

Yowza.

I will withhold comments on that.

Ok.

This next part is beyond awesome.

At the same time, on several occasions the scientist has observed very curious circumstances occurring with males who were the most “passionate” lovers.

During Sphex attacks they, indulging in amorous pleasures, noticed nothing around them, including the fact that a wasp was dragging their paralyzed partners to its burrow.

“Noticed nothing around them.”

Awesome.

Ok. Here is where it gets important to us.

There is an assumption that once upon a time such danger existed for humans and because of this we inevitably decided to have sex in secluded and well protected places.

Yup. Some anthropologists believe that the search of solitude for love in people was caused by the presence of large predators nearby. Think about it <okay … don’t … I will explain>.

If chimpanzees living in the woods can quickly interrupt copulation and crawl up a tree, in the same environments our ancestor human folk just weren’t as nimble.

And there were no lack of predators. In the good ole days a large crowd of people <or a couple if you struggle envisioning a caveman/woman orgy> could attract lions, hyenas, saber-toothed tigers or other predators.

As a result, our ancestors began to look for more secluded places in order to procreate. This gradually led to the abandonment not only of public sex, but even open display of genitals. As a result, sex in Homo sapiens became the only “personal matter”, which is always done in a safe place – once again not to attract the attention of predators.

Whew.

I understand this post is disappointing to those seeking public sex.

But, in general, great advice.

Enlightened Conflict