Posts tagged embellishment
what is management?
May 21st
“Responsibility for one’s impacts is the oldest principle of the law” – Peter Drucker (New Realities, 1989, p. 87)
To me, in today’s business, manager management training is woefully lacking. Training simply equals “results” <with an additional emphasis on doing it while being politically correct and appropriately sensitive – to avoid litigation>.
And, no, I don’t believe this is a generational ‘thing.’
In other words I hear a lot of people suggest this upcoming generation of managers always needs to be told exactly what to do and what expectations are …well … in general I don’t agree. But even if I did those people are being told “results.”
It is the easiest (laziest) way to outline expectations.
To be fair to the lazy guidance organizations (or enterprises as Drucker calls them) … the enterprise also focuses on “results.” That ultimately translates into the fact you can be the biggest jerk manager in the world, the most anti social manager, one who exhibits gobs of poor management (team leadership skills) … but if you generate the enterprise holy grail <results> … well…then you are an “effective manager.”
And the fallback statement is almost always “not everyone is going to like you” as justification to answer the question of whether that person is ‘good manager material’ as everyone immediately points to ‘results achieved.’
Ok.
It’s bullshit.
And I know its bullshit.
And when your television and internet is lost for 4 days, and even though you may not be a heavy tv viewer, you end up having time to think and do things. So I ended up pulling a book off the shelf I haven’t read in a while. Peter Drucker’s “the new realities” from 1989. I have another post coming up inspired from the rereading but Drucker does a great job of simply outlining “what is management.”. And I have to tell you that a lot of us managers would do well to reread this book. And reread all early Drucker while you are at it. Oh. And company owners should too (by the way …they are also Management in case they have forgotten).
As P. Druddy <as Drucker was called by his closest friends> said:
Management has to be accountable for performance. But how is performance defined? How is it to be measured? How should it be enforced? And to whom should management be accountable? Management needs to face the fact they represent power and power has to be accountable … and it has to be legitimate <he means to a greater social good>. Management has to face up to the fact that they matter <in a societal responsibility way>.
What is management?
Is it a bag of techniques and tricks? A bundle of analytical tools like those taught n business schools? There are important as a thermometer and anatomy is important to a physician. But the evolution and history of management, its successes as well as its problems, teach that management is above all else a very few essential principles:
- Management is about human beings. The task is to make people capable of join performance, to make their strengths effective and their weaknesses irrelevant. We depend upon management for our livelihoods. And our ability to contribute to society also depends on management of the organizations in which we work as it does on our own skills, dedication and effort.
- Because management deals with the integration of people in a common venture it is deeply embedded in culture. What managers do in Germany, United Kingdom, United states, Japan or Brazil is exactly the same. How they do it may be quite different. This one of the basic challenges managers face is to find and identify those parts of their own tradition, history and culture that can be used as management building blocks. Every enterprise requires commitment to common goals and shared values. Without such commitment there is no enterprise, there is only a mob. The enterprise must have simple clear and unifying objectives. The mission of the organization has to be clear enough and big enough to provide common vision. The goals that embody it have to be clear, public and constantly reaffirmed. Management’s first job is to think through, set, and exemplify those objectives, values and goals.
- Management must enable the enterprise and each of its members to grow and develop as needs and opportunities change. Every enterprise is a learning and teaching institution. Training and development must be built into it on all levels – training and development that never stop. 
- Every enterprise is composed of people with different skills and knowledge doing many different toes of work. It must be built on communication and on individual responsibility All members need to think through what they aim to accomplish and make sure their associates know and understand that aim. All have to think through what they owe others and make sure that others understand. All have to think through what they need from others and make sure that others know what is expected of them.
- Neither the quantity of output not the ‘bottom line’ is by itself an adequate measure of the performance of management and enterprise. Market standing (brand & reputation), innovation, production, development of people, quality, financial results are all crucial to an organizations performance and to its survival. Just as a human being needs a diversity of measures to assess his or her health and performance an organization needs a diversity of measures to assess its health and performance.
- Finally, the single most important thing to remember about any enterprise is that results exist only on the outside. The result f a business is a satisfied customer. The result of a healthy organization is a contribution to society. The result of a hospital is a healthy patient. The result of a school is a student who has learned something and puts it into practice at some later date. Inside an enterprise there are only costs.
Some thoughts <from me>.
While there are some gems I may come back to at some point … like “without such a commitment you only have a mob” and “make their strengths effective and their weaknesses irrelevant” … here are my rant-like thoughts:
• “individual responsibility.” Hmmmmmmmmmmmm it seems like we abuse this in today’s business world. We want to “empower employees” and expect them to assume “proactive individual responsibility” and yet we are not fulfilling some of Drucker’s other principles. Where is our responsibility to them? Where is the training? Where is the development? It seems to me that responsibility goes both ways <and, no, it is not just a paycheck from management side> and to ask one without offering the other is a medieval serf mentality.
• Organization ‘health’ …. When is the last time you heard this discussed in in anything other than financials (or some derivative of financials)? I cannot remember the last time anyone discussed culture and/or people’s true happiness as a measure of organization health … well … at least until maybe ‘we have hit the numbers.’
That said. “Management is about human beings.” Ok. Nowhere in that sentence do I see “numbers,” “results” or “profitability”. Am I foolish enough to believe that those three things aren’t important? Nope <I am foolish in other ways>. But his point is subtle. Maybe too subtle. If you manage the human beings well, effectively and they are happy, those three little words he excluded from that sentence will happen. THAT is why the sentence reads “management is about human beings.”
And.
I love the last thought.
The truly important problems managers face do not come from technology or politics; they do not originate outside of management and enterprise. Think about that …
“They are problems caused by the very success of the management itself.”
Drucker is actually suggesting that success breeds problems. How about that? What a great point. A point I am relatively sure that today’s managers do not think of. Today it seems like success breeds “process everyone should follow.”
Anyway.
Ignore my comments if you would like.
But don’t ignore Drucker’s comments.
life formulas
May 9th
Life is not as simple as it seems. Or maybe it isn’t as complicated as it seems.
Shit.
Maybe its both … at exactly the same time.
I cannot remember where I found all these awesome “life formulas” but I love the way they take complex life things and simplify them into basic equations (note: I apologize to the creator for not being able to source).
And in their incredibly obvious simplicity there is a nuanced complexity that makes you think about the truth they contain.
The first one I ever saw was the truth equation.
Truth. What I think happened divided by what really happened.
Brilliant.
It got to the core truth behind … well … truth. And it makes you wonder a little why there isn’t a class somewhere in maybe high school where they teach you stuff like this. Or at least make you think like this. It may seem silly at first glance but it is a really interesting exercise.
And back to truth?
What you think divided by what really happened.
By dividing it can equal, diminish what you think or actually be bigger by such a margin it actually marginalizes what you originally thought.
Awesome.
And when I see Life defined by formulas like this I begin to think about what makes 100%.
Well.
It actually made me begin by thinking about “giving 110%.” Which is actually kind of silly when you think about it. Is it really possible to actually give more than 100%? <no>
And what the hell is more than 100%? (unless you are bionic you cannot answer that)
I do know as I think about this 110% thing it makes some want to bring one of these formulas along with me to a meeting and if someone suggests you to give over 100% (that infamous 110%) maybe I would force them to show us how to do just that mathematically.
When someone does say that … aren’t they really saying “give me 100% <because I know you are juggling things and I need you to focus on this>.”
So why can’t we just tell the truth and say “c’mon … its not extra effort … its just focus. Focus 100% on this.” <albeit it doesn’t sound as inspiring or leader like or gung ho-ish … yeah … I just typed ‘ho-ish’>.
Anyway.
From there I actually began thinking about the whole 100% we are supposed to give in life.
100% is tricky. Is it defined by effort, focus, the best of our abilities or the best we can do <at that time>?
Whew. Now THERE are some choices for ya.
Life is a constant juggling game <or a balancing act>. There’s always balancing that needs to be done. And there are always tradeoffs.
Ah.
But.
I think there is a difference between juggling and balancing.
Juggling is all about keeping track of a bunch of things … all up in the air.
Balancing is all about … well … balancing … evening things out.
It seems to me that is one is more controlled chaos-like <juggling> … and the other is a more prioritizing of actions <balancing>.
Wow. Makes me think of whether I am a juggler or a balancer. And that makes my head hurt.
Regardless.
Aw. Anyway <quit babbling Bruce>.
There is a simplicity that these formulas give us in thinking about life.
Disappointment being expectation divided by reality.
- Which suggests it is our own inability to manage our expectations that create a sense of disappointment. Makes you think a little, huh?
Shock being expectation minus expectation.
- The unequivocalness <that isn’t really a word> of this is brilliant.
Modern art being the belief you could do it plus the fact you didn’t.
- The formula nicely builds, instead of divides or subtracts, to heighten the value
The slight cynicism built into diamonds being forever … balanced by whether you are a jewel thief (awesome)
Oh.
And obligation.
This one is fabulous.
Starts with do. Just the action itself. Add on “the right thing” so value increases by doing the right thing … and then plus or minus the amount of guilt.
Very very nice.
I actually see a great class session for young people somewhere in this life formula idea. The ability to simplify the challenges, the decisions, the actions in life into equations. It is a nice way to be able to point out some complex critical thinking in life.
In the end, while it may seem silly, I think it is a good and interesting exercise.
Particularly if you are juggling, or balancing, a bunch of crap and making so many judgment calls your head seem like it is going to explode … these simple formulas, in a really weird way, provide perspective.
Maybe you have an obligation to give this a shot if you feel overwhelmed with life.
Because maybe, in their simplicity, maybe you find more balance.
And that … I am pretty sure in my pea like brain … is a good thing.
finagle’s Law
Apr 30th
Well. I imagine I am way behind the rest of the cool people <who already know what finagle’s law is> but I just discovered it. Maybe because I had always known it as Murphy’s Law.
The generalized or `folk’ version of Murphy’s Law, fully named “Finagle’s Law of Dynamic Negatives” and usually rendered “Anything that can go wrong, will” (source: Urban Dictionary)
Finagle’s Law comes from science fiction author Larry Niven who, in several stories, depicted a frontier culture which celebrated a religion <or a running joke> which involved the worship of the dread god Finagle … and his mad prophet Murphy <hence the source of ‘murphy’s law’>.
Ok. About Finagles ´Law <before I get to the point of this little writeup>. It is an amazingly cool extraordinary mixture of cruel logic … as well as somewhat scarily indicative of everyday life. Just in case you didn’t know here is Finagle’s logic:
- What we have is not what we need.
- What we want is not what we need.
- What we need is impossible to get.
- You can get hold of this information for a much higher price then you are prepared to pay.
Ok. Here is the coolest thought. One of my favorite blogs, 50topmodels, actually wondered if Finagle´s Law got it all wrong and reexamined it as … Yhprum´s Law (Yhprum is Murphy backwards).
They actually analyzed it under the theory that ‘everything that can work, will work’ quoting Richard Zeckhauser <Harvard> “sometimes systems that should not work, work nevertheless.“
Ok. It is that last thought that made me sit up and think and decide to write.
Why?
Well. “Systems that should not work …do.” How often do people design perfect systems in the workplace, under the guise of ‘this is the way its done’ and, ultimately, it is just another inefficient process & system? Or maybe it is easy to do so everyone just does things going through the motions? Or the perfect system is <gasp> measured on its efficiency and therefore everyone simply tries to ‘hit the measurement numbers”?
On the other hand.
Someone else builds a system and has everyone working within this system that has those ‘people who designed perfect systems’ scratching their heads and saying that will never work … and, uh oh, it does work.
Yhprum´s Law. Huh? Well. Organizations are living organisms.
And just as placebos can work (lets call that the power of the mind) … a system that should not work … well … does. Why?
Because whether things work or not is often up to the people. And people are inconsistent in that they consistently do unexpectedly great things. In addition sometimes mistakes become stepping stones to blinding success. Oh. And the systems that shouldn’t work gain significant improvements thru some trial & error while the perfect systems remain … well … stagnant – never improving. Maybe it is that last thought that is so controversial in my thinking.
Perfection is often a thief. It steals fresh thinking.
Business, in general, like life, is messy. Sure. We seek perfection. It is kind of like the holy grail of ‘job well done.’
Here is the funny thing about attaining perfection.
Realistically we should be seeking to immediately change, rather than replicate, if we actually stumble upon it. ‘Doing it right’ is simply a level. And attaining levels of ‘perfection’ is good but also breeds an aspect of complacency or rote. And unless you are putting together a car, or a bomb <as an example>, in my mind we should always be aware the process is a means to an end.
Another sad thing about perfection. Nothing is ever really perfect. So when we put the label on something we are already in a bad place. As noted in alternative phrases for Finagle’s Law … let’s maybe call it “not quite the right thing.” It seems to me that systems & process reside most often closest to that phrase. And to a perfectionist that is bad and to others it is just not quite the right thing.
Ok. As for systems that shouldn’t work? the imperfect systems? The power of the mind suggest that everything that can work will work … sometimes better than others.
Oh.
And if you have that attitude .. an attitude to, rather than finding the flaws, instead focusing on the mistakes made … in my mind you end up seeking to better the system.
Ok. Moving on.
There is another aspect to Murphy’s Law … “If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it.”
Now. If you think about that from a logic perspective … this suggests <for example> that if someone plugs in a toaster backwards and it fries itself, the problem isn’t just that some idiot plugged it in backward, but that it was able to be plugged in backwards in the first place.
In other words … the flaw isn’t in the person … but rather the design. And people just make mistakes <and are not flawed>.
If you believe that … then maybe when mistakes are made we shouldn’t be blaming people but rather seeking to design a better system. Not ‘perfect’ systems but systems with the minimum opportunity for flaws. Call it constant improvement.
If you don’t believe that then you end up simply assuming people will make mistakes, some big … some small … some stupid <or some derivative of stupid> … some smart <yeah … you can still do something really smart and make a mistake>. As I stated earlier … systems are a means to an end therefore using Finagle’s Law everyone should be focusing more on the people aspect. And not in a “you suck” perspective but rather a deeper understanding for why and how mistakes are made.
Mistakes are part of life.
I actually believe more managers should have the chart above in their offices and when mistakes are made identify which aspect the mistake characterizes. It may make us better managers and it may make for better systems (and certainly better managers of people).
Anyway.
The true Finagle’s Law is much more twisted than “anything that can go wrong will go wrong.” The Law also allows for things going well. It’s like as if the universe is merely lulling you into a false sense of security before proceeding to screw you. It also allows for things that can’t go wrong … going wrong <and within Finagle’s Law this counts as Gone Horribly Right.>
Regardless.To end this I wanted to share some last thoughts on Finagle’s Law. The law owes its existence more or less entirely to the Rule of Drama, and is especially common in Crapsack Worlds where things that do go wrong tend to go wrong in the worst possible way.
Finagle’s Law also suggests that Life has a pretty warped sense of humor in that it is obsessed with making your life as difficult and humiliating as possible.
On a slightly serious note … I imagine the potential for danger in everyday Life, within the Law, can do one of two things:
- make you scared to do anything
- make you assume that you cannot ever do anything right
I could write gobs about both of those but instead I am hoping that what I have written about Finagle’s Law suggests that successfully navigating Life takes some flexibility. If perfection is your thing … well … Finagle will be your constant companion and friend.
Take Life with a grain of salt. Things go wrong. Even when they aren’t supposed to. And things go right. Even when they aren’t supposed to.
Last. And just so you are fully aware of ‘the Law’ here are optional expressions of Finagle’s Law <so you recognize them>:
- A Simple Plan
- Butterfly of Doom
- Consolation Backfire
- Cosmic Plaything
- Disaster Dominoes
- Destructive Saviour
- Deus Angst Machina when taken Up to Eleven
- Everything Trying to Kill You in videogames
- Failsafe Failure
- Failure Is the Only Option
- The Fun in Funeral
- Gave Up Too Soon
- Law of Disproportionate Response
- Inverse Law of Utility and Lethality
- It Got Worse
- Magnum Opus Dissonance
- Mistimed Revival
- Murphy’s Bed
- Murphy’s Bullet
- My Car Hates Me
- Not Quite The Right Thing
- Out with a Bang
- Phlebotinum Breakdown
- Ashes to Crashes
- Doomed New Clothes
- Watch the Paint Job
- The Precious, Precious Car
- Random Number God
- Retirony
- Springtime for Hitler
- Tempting Fate
- Unspoken Plan Guarantee
- Useless Superpowers
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
- You Can’t Thwart Stage One
- Your Princess is in Another Castle
Anyway.
Finagle’s Law. Murphy’s Law. Or. My favorite? “Not quite the right thing.” Life is perfectly imperfect. You can either accept it or end up in a loony bin some day.
I fail, you fail, we all fail. Here is our tale.
Mar 14th
So.
I wanted to write something on failure and started … stopped … started again … stopped.
Well. I don’t know why but it was hard for some reason.
Harshly? I failed.
I failed at something I wanted to do. But. If creating a blog has taught me one thing <if that is at least one criteria of failing> that I fail constantly.
Little failures? Sure.
But a failure nonetheless.
Oh. And if you are not careful little failures are like dying a death of a thousand cuts.
Regardless.
That REALLY got me thinking about several things … the word failure (and how little it seems to be used these days) and failing itself & lessons and all that crap.
So I went hunting.
Hunting for some inspiration for the right words to say about failing and failure.
My first hunt.
Choose the Right Word by Hayakawa (almost my bible of word descriptions).
It didn’t fail me here.
“Failing” fell under Flaw <wow … I could write an entire book over that little insight>.
Flaw has a variety of aspects … blemish, defect, failing, fault, foible, imperfection, mar, shortcoming.
Regardless.
Failure is a reflection of a flaw.
An imperfection (which seems okay).
A defect (which seems not okay).
Is failure a reflection of a defective product <product being … well … us … a human … a person>?
That seems harsh. Ok. Maybe extreme.
But.
In terms of “truth to oneself” think about this … ‘imperfection’ points more often to a lack that may be a matter of opinion (Hayakawa).
Well. THAT certainly makes it easier to say “I am imperfect … I have failed.” Because, well, it is on a basis of opinion (and everyone has opinions).
Failure, on the other and, suggests a more severe shortcoming that has more severe consequences.
How ‘bout that?
There is some tough love.
The word failure is tough love.
A severe shortcoming.
And if you have a shortcoming … well … there are consequences. In fact … more severe consequences.
And maybe in this politically correct world we want to soften up things a little … and we don’t ‘fail’ but rather we made a mistake or took a step on the path to success or whatever.
Maybe it is better to just say we failed at something.
I don’t know.
But I do believe we should be better at admitting failure. I believe it should be more acceptable to say “you failed” <without it being construed in a negative way>.
I do believe we should be better at understanding we have failings … and they have consequences.
Now. Notice. Hayakawa never, anywhere, attached “negative” or “bad” adjectives to consequences. He simply points out that failures suggest shortcomings leading to consequences.
And that, my friends, is a Life truth … and more people <in my eyes> should just step up to the plate and accept that truth without all the suggestions that they keep you from being a successful or ‘whole’ person.
We fail. And maybe it is because of some shortcoming and absolutely I am assuming that shortcoming will create at least one dead end in your life (toward some success). But it doesn’t mean that it keeps you from some other path to success.
It does not mean you are a failure. It just may mean you have failed, and you may fail consistently, if you pursue that path.
Ok.
Next.
And when I went hunting I found a blog focused solely on failure. And it wasn’t bad or negative or even totally depressing.
Now. It certainly wasn’t uplifting by any stretch of the imagination but it was kind of an interesting glimpse into what I assume was a normal every day woman kind of getting a grip on life.
And this blog is her way of doing it … by embracing failure (she actually has a post called “why have a blog about failure?”: http://soyoufailed.wordpress.com/2010/08/31/why-have-a-blog-about-failure/)
As she says in her ‘about me’ section:
Who am I?
- I am female
- I’m in my mid 30′s
- I live in the Bay Area, California
- My day job is as a User Experience Designer (my 24 hour/day job is “failure” 
)
- I am a mother of 2 beautiful boys
- My “other” interests besides failure are photography, learning to play the guitar, and user experience design.
I loved it.
“my other interests beyond failure …” Nice perspective.
The site has glimpses of insight <albeit I wonder if writing nonstop about failure is completely healthy>. And while absolutely focused on failure, which I equate to a songwriter trying to write every song about a falling star <or God>, there are truly some nice perspectives on failing.
And all written from an everyday perspective.
Anyway.
About a failure <she says as one of 5 things> …
5. You learned something.
And that’s what life is all about. Learning something. In failing you probably learned something about yourself, about someone else, about a situation, about how to do something better next time. Failing is so valuable. Don’t focus on the failure. Focus on what you got from that failure.
So go ahead, fail on!
(nice closing line by the way)
Life is about learning.
Life is about failure.
I imagine the corollary thought would be “how boring would life be if we never failed?” there is such a stigma attached to failure … and the word itself. In fact, to be politically correct, I probably shouldn’t use the word failure.
It would be “trial & error” (what a bunch of bullhockey).
Look.
We fail.
And it’s okay to fail.
And it’s even okay to fail on some of the really Big things in life. Not that you try to … just that … well … we do.
It is called Life.
- Marriages fall apart even when you don’t really want them to.
- You try to win a game but you don’t.
- You try and lose those 10 pounds and you don’t.
- You try and be the best friend you can but miss when a good friend needs you.
Some are big things. Some are small things.
But all ‘things’ examples of failing at something.
And, once again, that’s okay. It’s cool.
You aren’t a failure just because you failed.
And that is a big, no HUGE, distinction.
You aren’t a failure … unless … you don’t pay attention to #5 (you learned something). You just failed.
Because, in fact, some failures are just part of life.
Maybe these are “failings” rather than failures but … well … whatever. Semantics.
I guess my point here is don’t aim to fail <as if any of us actually would, huh?> but recognize you do fail. And accept it IS failing.
Lastly.
Here is a great example of how failure … well … happens. And we (who are perfect of course) looking at failure happening right before our eyes … need to be very very <very> careful in our judgement with regard to failings and failure.
Let me give you a really big example … a really good one … which was part of this whole ‘failure’ blog:
… my crisis started. I had reached a point where I just could not figure out what to do. I was crying and weeping and just could not calm myself down. I got to the point when I had to ask myself, “What will make you sane and get you through this moment? What will keep you from killing yourself right now?” And to me, and it is a different thing for everybody, smoking had always been the thing that I turned to when I got to such a low point. It was what got me to calm down and take a moment and just be present. For some it could be a stiff drink, a dozen donuts, or a shopping spree. For me it was smoking. So I did it. I failed my abstinence. I went to the closest Walgreens, bought a pack, and smoked a cigarette.
And I admit, I failed even more and bought two more packs to get me through lower lows these past few months. I gave myself a break. I thought, it is better to have a crutch to get through these horrible days, than to be perfect and not have a crutch and go crazy. I took it easy on myself, I “failed” myself. Or more like I let myself have what I needed. I think at some point in our lives, when we need to, we should give in to ourselves. In our darkest times, we need to stop and think about what we need to get us through it. If you need to spend $1000 on clothing to save yourself, do it.
But know when it is time to stop. Know when the break needs to be over. Know when the fail needs to stop. For me that break is over now. I need to stop smoking now, before it becomes a full blown addiction again. Before it spirals out of control. Now it is becoming less helpful and is on the brink of being harmful. And so, while it is still easy to stop, I have stopped. I no longer need my crutch. It has done its job. It has gotten me through my darkest times.
I hope that for you, when you are going through a tough time, that you are able to stop and think about what crutch you need to get you through, and that you let yourself have that and let yourself fail. But I also hope that at some point, when you are healed, you are able to gracefully lay the crutch down.
Big thought in there.
“In our darkest times, we need to stop and think about what we need to get us through it. If you need to spend $1000 on clothing to save yourself, do it.
But know when it is time to stop. Know when the break needs to be over. Know when the fail needs to stop.”
Failing always needs context.
No. It doesn’t need excuses … just context.
I wrote about this kind of thing over a year ago … I stated there and then I was wrong … wrong in a way that this blogger said it best.
Here is what I said: http://brucemctague.com/doubt-part-3-crushed-between-internal-and-external-doubt
(the key words from that post)
Do what it takes to keep it alive. Keep your sense of I and don’t lose it.
Whatever it takes.
Let me repeat.
Whatever it takes.
In the past I have judged people who have leaned on religion. Leaned on prescription drugs. Leaned on self help books. Leaned on betterment programs.
Well. I have been a fool.
And ignorant.
A stupid ignorant fool.
For whatever path one chooses to maintain their flame is the right path. And a good path. And a path well taken.
You do whatever it takes to keep the flame alive and don’t get crushed by doubt. That’s it. Bottom line.
I didn’t know better words at that time but in my head I saw some things as “failings”, or failure, in people and was making my own judgments on their actions.
Look.
We have rules. We have guidelines. We have distinctions between what is right and wrong. And if we don’t meet them we ‘fail.’
Yes. All of that is true.
Yet.
In dark times … you have to do whatever you have to do to cross that dark bridge.
Whatever. Even if it means ‘failing’ in some form or fashion. Even if it means that it LOOKS like failure in someone else’s eyes.
The blogger is right.
It is okay to fail.
Failing does not make you a failure.
By the way …. Here is the site:
I fail, you fail, we all fail. Here is our tale.
contemporary dance music (sort of)
Feb 10th
Well.
I have always loved good dance music. Club, house, electronica … not sure what you call it but something with a good hook (it could just be smooth refrain or a looped backbeat) with a slightly below frenetic pace but fast enough beat that it gets the heart pumping and you drive a little faster (and do some bad but fun dancing).
And I know music is trendy but there seems like a bunch of new good dance-like stuff coming out. And here is the twist (today). They seem to be taking already upbeat pop songs (which invariably are built around a great hook) and juicing them up with a dance electronica sound.
Ok.
Let me call it electronic pop … or how about global pop (just because it seems to be more of a global ‘movement’ in music) and move on.
Well thanks to David Guetta, Pitbull, Taio Cruz and a growing list of cross over pop stars there is a swirling mass of really good fun stuff … combined with a bunch of mindless drivel encompassing intensely bad electronically produced music that is so alarmingly awful you not only wonder how it made it on the radio but how it was made at all.
How can you discern the drivel from the good? The hook. Always the hook. That is why some pretty good pop & hip hop artists are making some pretty good stuff in this quasi-new genre.
And you know it is truly becoming a trend when you hear a sleepy ole Adele song being spruced up for the dance floor. I sense Taylor Swift is not far behind on the dance floor remix scene.
Anyway.
To me it all began sliding into my listening vision maybe with Jason Derulo … probably only because he did an amazing job of sampling an Imogene Heap song.
And then Taio Cruz came along with Dynamite which was just fun to listen to.
It is global empowerment … Davide Guetta Ft. Usher
It is sexually driven … In the Dark and Juicebox
It is pop .. Jason Derulo sampling Imogene Heap … We found Love by rihanna … Katy Perry (almost anything she has done) and Maroon 5’s Adam Levine is building a new career off this genre
It is rap/hip hop pop … Flo Rida Feel Good and Gym Class Rejects with Maroon 5
It is just fun .. LMFAO (not ‘sexy and you now it’ which is a complete waste of airtime but their first song) and Usher ft. Pitbull as well as Jennifer Lopez ft. Pitbull
My best of the best (at the moment) and some of these are great driving songs and most are great dance club songs:
Pitbull
In the Dark by Dev http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgEixhE3Oms
Stereo Hearts by Gym class Heros ft. maroon 5/Adam Levine http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3E9Wjbq44E
We found Love by Rihanna ft. Calvin Harris http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tg00YEETFzg&ob=av2e
DJ got Us Fallin’ in Love by Usher ft. pitbull http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-dvTjK_07c&ob=av2e
Moves like Jagger by Maroon 5 ft. Christina Alguilera http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEPTlhBmwRg&ob=av2e
Give me Everything by Pitbull ft. NeYo (awesome song) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPo5wWmKEaI&feature=related
Watcha At by Jason Derulo ft. Imgene Heap (sample) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBI3lc18k8Q&ob=av2e
On the Floor by Jennifer Lopez ft. Pitbull http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4H_Zoh7G5A&feature=related
Juicebox by Sexoflex (so NTSW you won’t hear it on mainstream and I wish I could just upoad the song because the video is nasty) http://vimeo.com/33340940
Got a Feeling by Flo Rida ft. Etta James (which is awesome he used her all in its own right) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OnnDqH6Wj8&feature=related
Break your Heart by Taio Cruz ft. Ludracis (Ludacris may be one of the best hip hop rappers out there) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_SI2EDM6Lo&ob=av2e
Without You By David Guetta ft. Usher http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUe8uoKdHao&feature=related
Turn me On by David Guetta ft. Nicki Minaj (but may be one of the worst videos of all time … and is extremely aggravating if heard over & over) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVw7eJ0vGfM&feature=branded
Dynamite by Taio Cruz (older song but still sounds good) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUjdiDeJ0xg&ob=av2e
Firework by Katy Perry http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGJuMBdaqIw&ob=av2e
And I just heard an old school which reminded me I loved this remake … Coolio doing Fantastic Voyage (excellent remake). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbhkuu4e0iw
Anyway.
It is always interesting how new music genre evolves. This has always been around (mainly in Europe) but it seems to be going mainstream.
rat girl thoughts
Jan 27th
So.
I wrote about Rat Girl (Kristen Hersh) awhile back … and have been meaning to come back to the book and some quotable/comment-able thoughts from Kristen and her book.
Let me say this upfront.
Rarely have I found so many quotable thoughts from one book.
Anyway.
There is no particular order for these thoughts & quotes. I simply wrote them down as I read Rat Girl. So there is some spontaneous nonlinear thinking to be shared (and several other posts will follow using specific quotes).
With that … it seems appropriate to start with this following quote because I love music and I tend to believe it is one of the few global forms of communication with the ability to cross cultures and actually bend cultures …
“They <songs> don’t commit to linear time – they whiz around all your memories collecting them into a goofy pile that somehow seems less goofy because it’s set to music. Songs are weird. They tell the future and they tell the past but they can’t seem to tell the difference.” - K. Hersh
Well.
I am not sure I have ever heard a better explanation for why music is so powerful, oh, and timeless. Great songs & songwriters have the ability to capture moments & thoughts in a way that they become timeless …’ or maybe better said they become ‘a relevant time’ to the listener.
And there are really two thoughts here.
Some songs inspire timelessness on things you are experiencing now … they just express eternal ‘truth.’
And the some songs are, well, not timeless.
What do I mean?
Well.
Not timeless is easy to describe. They are of a genre and style and wording that may make it a hit today but quickly slips away into that irrelevance space that most tepid shit ends up in.
But timeless? Whew. That stuff speaks to you forever. Because, as Kristen suggests, they live concurrently in the past, present & future in what they say and how they make you feel.
You hear it and it can make you think of something that was. And you ache, or think or just laugh a little.
You hear it and it can make you think of something that is. And you ache, or think or just laugh a little.
You hear it and it cam make you think of something that could be. And you are hopeful, fearful … or just think.
That goofy pile of thoughts is less goofy set to music … and by being less goofy it makes you think … think about something.
And that is what makes a great song great.
It doesn’t have to be great grandiose type thinking … it is just thinking.
Once again … if you ever need to explain to someone what makes music the thing that is universal globally … just pull this quote out.
It is a timeless quote.
Next.
“Play a grown up ‘til you grow up.” – K. Hersh
Ok.
Let’s think about this one a little.
This was written by a 19 year old. Bi polar. Pregnant. Fronting one of the most avante garde bands of the time. And she is often thrown into environments where she was expected to be a grown up … and make grown up decisions (or maybe think like a grown up).
Putting this quote into perspective … all she really wants to do is be a musician … to create and play what was in her head.
What did she do?
Play a grown up.
I like this one for a variety of reasons.
Mainly because it was written by a 19 year old. And one who embraced her originality (which would almost presume she would balk at being “grown up”).
But I also like it because in its simplicity it is a Life truth.
I think a lot of teens understand this (play a grown up). And will do it … that is if they are permitted to and it is nurtured.
All teens contain originality. That is what youth is all about.
Some young people are strong enough to “play grown up” on their own (see Kristen Hersh as an example).
But most young people aren’t strong enough … okay … maybe ‘resilient enough’ is a better way to phrase it. They seek to fit in first and foremost. It’s the safest path. And, therefore, true originality is few and far between (being part of a flock isn’t conducive to originality).
So. She reminds us that even those teens who are grown up – are simply acting like it … that is until they actually become a grown up.
Ok. I say all this to make a point.
We adults can either nurture it or destroy it. And destruction is a lot easier than nurturing. Destruction can happen in the smallest word or action.
We adults need to remember this. Not all teens are as strong as Kristen Hersh. Most are more fragile. Does this mean we should pamper our youth? Absolutely not. But be cognizant of repercussions of our actions as we nurture.
Also.
There is a business side to life, yeah, I said life. By business I mean there are rules of the road we all have to follow on how we are supposed to act, what is appropriate or not, all that stuff we need to do and are supposed to do … if we want to get what we want. And this is true regardless of your age. and to make it trickier it all varies depending on the situation.
What do I mean? If you are 19 but put in a situation surrounded by 40 year olds you have one of 2 choices …
(1) act like a 19 year old and get nothing
(2) or act like a 40something and get what you want.
Simple to do? Nope.
But if you don’t even try and act like a grown up and you are 19 in this situation I can promise you one thing, unequivocally, you won’t get shit.
In the end? Play a grown up until you are a grownup.
Another awesome quote in its simplicity.
Next.
This one is mindboggling as she, in her own words, defines passion in life.
“I think you need something in your life that is both beautiful and necessary. A person or a mission or a place. Beautiful might not be pretty and necessary may not be understood, but, still … I think caring, not death, is the passport to heaven.” – K. Hersh
Ok.
I have been tempted to have this quote framed.
And, once again, from the mouth of a 19 year old.
“beautiful may not be pretty and necessary may not be understood.”
Whew.
That is chill bump type stuff.
Not all passion is shared. And what is necessary to you may not be necessary to someone else.
Frankly that thought may be one of the most difficult for people to grasp.
We so often set a ‘standard’ for what is good, acceptable or the ‘best’ for people.
So what happens to the people who don’t ‘fit ‘within the guardrails? They are oddballs … out of the norm or mainstream … and are forced to swim upstream.
Shit. So what about the majority who do go easily within the guardrails? Maybe they never get to see what is beautiful and necessary (what a fucking shame).
Regardless.
This quote is a big thought. A thoughtful thought. And rather that have me define it or explain it I just posted it so everyone could read it … and all I ask is for everyone to think about it.
Because, honestly, I cannot stop thinking about it.
Next.
“If you play too many wimpy chords you’re just asking for wimpy scales. Play colors.” – K. Hersh
This one is awesome for not just for musicians but for anyone in the creative business.
Shit.
This is actually awesome for anyone.
A lot of people are really successful playing it safe. Or doing what others have done. And then there are the few … those who play colors.
I am not suggesting, using her words, that it is bad to be ‘wimpy.’ Because in this case wimpy isn’t bad … it’s just … well … maybe not aspirational. And that’s okay because not everyone does aspirational stuff. And not everyone SHOULD do aspirational stuff. Not everyone s wired for that.
But.
Boy.
“Play colors.”
If you are even closed to being wired this way this simple quote is pretty powerful.
Me?
If I could have one thing in my obituary it would be “we saw colors when he was there.”
Do I believe I deserve that now? Nope.
But that is surely what I am aiming for.
Ok.
This is the last quote I will use from the book.
“Everything about Betty is huge, bigger than life. I’m smaller than life – so unremarkable that I’m practically invisible.” – K. Hersh
So.
I lied.
There was an order in the quotes … at least I that I purposefully put this one last.
For a variety of reasons this one really struck me.
And, no, you don’t need to know who Betty is to think about this and understand it.
But.
Think about this as you read this quote … fact here was one of the most talented songwriters and singers of her generation … and she thought herself unremarkable.
And small.
And it got me thinking.
That word unremarkable.
It’s a big word.
Maybe even an immense word when referring to oneself.
Maybe I like this quote not because I am as talented as Kristen Hersh … but rather because I feel unremarkable.
Not in a bad way. Just that in comparison to some pretty remarkable people I have been fortunate to have known.
Frankly … I tend to believe a lot of people feel the same way. They feel unremarkable. And maybe not invisible but … well … not remarkably visible to the broader world.
And yet I, just as most people I imagine, would like to do something remarkable.
C’mon.
We all want to leave something behind… but how do we do that when we are so small in life.
So few of us actually make an impact … well … a really big impact.
The kind of impact that makes you remarkable.
And I do think the majority of us feel small and insignificant on occasion (if not the majority of the time). I know I do.
And once again that’s not bad. It just is.
But I want to make a difference.
Is it “making people see colors?”
Or implementing the global education initiative?
Or something else?
Heck. I don’t know.
What I do know is Kristen captured the essence of our smallness in a way that was clear and concise and thought provoking.
And it made me want to be sure I at least tried to do something that, in the end, was visible.
So.
You may not like the book (Rat Girl).
And you may not like Kristen Hersh’s music.
But, boy, you gotta like how she takes some really complex thoughts and breaks them down into some really simple words.
Thank you Kristen.
to be yourself or nobody
Jan 26th
“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.”
- ee cummings
Just when I think the battle to be yourself ends when you have gained a certain maturity and finding a place in time when you are “comfortable in your own skin” and whatever success you have attained (which creates at least some affirmation that “yourself’ has some merit) I am reminded that good ole ee was right … it is the hardest battle and you never have to stop fighting a world doing its best to make you like everyone else.
Ok.
To be clear. I am not talking about doubting yourself.
This is about being distinct as an individual … and facing those who maybe don’t want you to be like everybody else … they just want you to be like them.
Here’s the deal.
ee never worked in an organization (as a poet he worked for himself).
So maybe he missed out on the business organization aspect. Because, sure, the world does its best to make you like everybody else but in the business world you often face leaders who try and wear you down seeking to ‘do it my way.’
Well.
Sometimes that is okay (I am not suggesting it is always wrong).
But I sometimes see organizations do their best to take their best & brightest (who are often the most distinct) and constantly do their best to recreate them in a likeness of themselves.
For young people this is often what I caution them to be cognizant of:
Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities which he does not possess, and to gain applause which he cannot keep. ~Samuel Johnson, The Rambler, 1750
Applause is a tantalizing mistress.
And sure. On occasion you may be able to walk in someone else’s shoes and be comfortable … but the most comfortable will always be your own.
And just as each day you put your shoes on and head out we all need to learn to put “yourself” on and head out every day.
And be comfortable.
Oh. And put on a personality & character Kevlar vest.
Because this is a tricky one in the business world.
And I do believe it matters what age/experience you are. Well. At least in terms of what issues your Kevlar vest is trying to deflect.
Younger people are still being molded as well as molding/shaping themselves. So, in general, they are protecting their soul as well as some core of distinctness that kind of makes them who they are (they may get confused at times by mistaking external – how I dress and how I speak – as core distinctness but that is a different post for another day).
But older people have a more solid ‘mold’ and have to be more careful when choosing who to work for, work with and the culture of the organization.
I am not sure this is the best advice to give anyone but I tend to like ‘black & white’ thoughts more because … well … they draw a clear line you can see when considering where to step:
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not. ~Andre Gide
In the end I guess what I am saying is … if you cannot be yourself, who you truly are, day in and day out … at work and not at work … you really kind of become … well … nobody. Harsh thought? Well, yeah. But sometimes truth is harsh. Oh. And sometimes truth is enlightening … and freeing.
So. Maybe I should end this way …. at minimum … choose to at least know who ‘yourself’ is. Then at least you know what choice you end up making between what you are and what you are not.
fearless work
Jan 19th
Creativity is a tricky thing.
Having been involved in the creativity business in some form for over 20 years I recognize that the best of the creative best are … well … part insecure … and part fearless.
And it’s the fearless part that I am going to write about because I saw this quote somewhere.
“I seek fearless work that challenges me”
- choreographer Martha Graham
This is good stuff.
This is the kind of stuff not for the faint of heart.
And, frankly, this is the kind of stuff for few people.
Because this quote is indicative of someone whose heart lies in doing fearless work.
Oh.
Fearless work means being fearless of failure.
Fearless work does NOT mean doing something wacky just for wacky sake.
Oh. But that is the first thing people who condone fearless work bring up.
You hear words like “stupid” or “what were they thinking” or “I could have told them it wouldn’t work <or be popular or be liked>.”
In my mind those are words of people who fear work that looks fearless. This fear can be disguised as a variety of things … discomfort in something new … misunderstanding … lack of ability to recognize something.
Whatever.
This is about people who actually DO the fearless work. Because people who seek to do fearless work recognize several things:
- how difficult it is (even though it may seem simple to the creators)
- how unpopular it may be
- when to stop being unpopular (the guard rails in fearless creativity)
in fact. I am going to use someone else who pursued fearless work to make the point. Kristen Hersh. The Rat Girl. One of the founding members of The Throwing Muses.
A teen I may add (just to make another point that teens can often be wiser beyond their years).
Here is what she said about the difficulty of pursuing fearless work:
“do you know how hard it is to not know how to sound like other bands? There aren’t any lessons to teach you how to do this and no one can help us figure out what <to play>. It’s hard to learn something that no one can teach you.” – Kristen Hersh
Actually.
I wish I could share this with anyone who is critical of any original idea so they could think about the fact someone is doing something that was self taught … because here was no one to teach).
Sometimes doing fearless work is difficult because you are forging your own path. There are no lessons. There are no rules. There are no guardrails. In fact. The real difficulty is knowing when to put up your own guard rails. Knowing when to stop innovating and just be … well .. creative with fearless work.
Kristen, as a 19 year old teen, pursued fearless work and did some amazing stuff (along with her fellow teen and musical genius in her own right … Tonya Donnelly).
Anyway. I think the fearless ones tend to hear and see things the rest of us don’t. In simplistic terms it is only popular in their own heads.
And unfortunately for the fearless there is only a minority who truly understands what they are doing:
(Kristen Hersh) … “but we play unpopular music.”
(producer) …
“that’s exactly what you play because you’re inventing something. You’re gonna be hugely influential.”
I do believe the best of the fearless best recognize that what they do is unpopular to the majority.
They may not like it. They may not embrace it. But they understand it. And fight their way through it.
Because it is a fact.
All the truly influential fearless creators didn’t have it easy early on. They were creating something … inventing something.
In their fearless work they were paving the way for people to think differently, see differently … just experience something different. Yeah, I know, that is what being influential is all about. But that doesn’t make it any easier.
Fearless work is often unpopular initially.
But there is a difference between bad unpopular and influential unpopular.
Good fearless is about understanding the guardrails.
Oh. Yeah. Those guard rails.
So how do the fearless know when to stop innovating?
“when you start to suck, stop” – Kristen Hersh
Sounds simple … but I believe the best of the fearless best have an internal quality control. In the mind’s of the ‘less mature’ innovative thinking maybe the guard rails are less defined. But. In the best of the fearless best they have that inner barometer to recognize what sucks and what doesn’t suck.
Oh.
And before we start putting too much weight on ‘less mature’ and associating it with age I would like to remind you that Kristen said this last quote when she was 19 (oh, these smart teens as I like to remind those wise stodgy adults).
Like I just said.
The best of the fearless best have an inner barometer. They are born with it. They are born with the guardrails.
But this doesn’t mean there isn’t fear.
Even the fearless creative people have fear.
Everyone has fear (lest we forget).
“We fear the idea of something more than the thing itself.” Steve Chandler
Fearless work means loving the idea of something more than fearing the thing itself. I imagine that thought encapsulates most good things in life. But in this case those who pursue fearless work have overcome their fear in pursuit of what is good fearless work.
Martha Graham.
Kristen Hersh.
A number of other people whose quotes I just didn’t use.
All pursued fearless work.
And created beautiful things.
And influenced how the rest of us looked at things and listened to things.
As for you & i?
All we can do is …
Act.
Do.
Create.
And seek our own version of fearless work.
And in the end maybe we are lucky enough to positively influence people.
And, at its best, maybe we actually be influential.
if your reason for being is big enough
Dec 14th
Ok. This is a simple idea in concept but fraught with peril in implementation.
The concept.
If your reason for being is big enough you will get noticed.
I will state the obvious behind this thought just to get it out of the way.
If your reason for being is big enough there is …
- no need to stand in the middle of a room and shout for attention.
- no need to do cartwheels in the middle of a mall.
- no need to run naked in the middle of a soccer match (thank god).
- no need to wear a clown suit (unless you are a clown for a living).
And best of all …
- no need for a dozen jelly donuts (or bagels) or any food bribery when you go to meetings.
If all that interests you then keep reading.
Let me begin by defining ‘reason for being.’
I mean what you stand for and what you say and what you do day in and day out. What you want to be seen as and ultimately known for (not something tangible … something intangible).
And while this could be about companies and business (and I may try a word replace just to see if that is true) I am gonna keep this one focused on you and I and us (as individuals).
Ok.
Whether we admit it or not we all want to be noticed.
We don’t want to be overlooked or underappreciated (for either a talent or just as a person).
That is normal. And has nothing to do with ego or ‘humbleness’ or any of that type of stuff.
This is just good ole self esteem and such. This is just about receiving some confirmation that your existence matters (in normal words … ‘you matter’) and some positive reinforcement for self being.
And I decided to write about this not only because I hate (abhor) the things on the ‘no need’ list I typed but I also believe getting noticed is one of the biggest challenges people face.
It is a fact that Not being noticed is an obstacle to a lot of things that truly matter.
It makes it harder to communicate what you want to say.
It makes it more difficult to make an impact.
And it makes it nearly impossible to change the world (change meaning small, medium, large or extra large in impact).
I say this to make the point that getting noticed does matter. It matters a shitload.
And, once again, getting noticed (in the right way) has never been about being outrageous.
Getting noticed, like any other incredibly difficult challenge, is all about who you are.
It’s about your attitude.
It’s about becoming some color when everything else is black & white.
Its about finding your own way of being distinct.
And mostly it is about finding out what you are good at and being comfortable with who you are as a person.
And if you do all of that … people will naturally gravitate to you (the corollary to that is if people do not gravitate to you then rather than bitch about why they don’t maybe you should begin to reflect upon yourself first).
So.
Some thoughts about being comfortable with who you are (the core to being distinct individually and ultimately noticed the ‘right way’):
- Be comfortable doing what everyone else thinks is wrong.
Now. I don’t mean all of the time. I simply mean on things that matter. Why? Because accomplishing anything that truly matters starts with the belief that you may have to be different … and its okay to be different. Oh. And not just “shades of gray” different. You have to be completely different.
Yup. Sometimes for people to know that something new is occurring (and want to be involved) you have to commit as a person to capture the essence of the ‘difference’ in what you say and how you present yourself. Oh. And “new” most often comes to life by having the ability to point out things that make people feel uncomfortable (because you are debating the status quo).
In the business world this is called ‘disruption.’ BUT. At its core disruption only is effective if it is relevant.
Being different for different sake is wrong. That is making an empty statement. Be comfortable in insightful relevant disruption.
Next.
- Be candid. Be truthful.
There are ridiculous things happening everywhere. People’s behavior, attitudes and perceptions.
And it is easy to overlook these things because … well … it is easier (and it is ridiculous).
If you want to change the conversation and get people talking with you (as well as about you), start talking about all this ridiculous stuff. Spend the time to create intellectual arguments that get people thinking.
Next.
- Understand effort matters.
Oh. And, in particular, effort for the moments that really matter … well … really matter.
Get it in your head now (no ifs, and or buts) that there are truly no easy get rich schemes. Believe it deep in your soul. Etch it somewhere on your body if you have to. One of the most debilitating things that can happen is a choice to make personal investments in shortcuts.
No shortcut can replace effort. The same thing applies to vision and how you manage details. There is nothing to do but “DO”. That’s the attitude that you need to have. And if by expending massive amounts of effort on things that matter you happen to gain success, then absolutely enjoy it. You will get noticed for the effort on what matters.
Is this true all the time? Nope. But consistency wins this particular game. You will be tempted by the short cuts (we all are) but deliver the effort on the things that truly matter on a consistent basis and you will get noticed. I guarantee it. And you will be noticed for the right reasons.
Next (and last).
- embrace (some) vulnerability.
This is the last one and the most difficult one.
Maybe I could have just written, “be human” but vulnerability is a much more powerful concept. And it takes some real kahones to embrace this one.
Why is this important to getting noticed? Well. People are flawed. And people like people who are flawed. Perfection scares people. And, honestly, no one is perfect.
We all have things that impact us so emotionally they, well, bring us to tears. And those are things that you need to be talking about. You need to be passionate. You need to show you actually care about something. Care so much that you are open to getting hurt. Care so much you become vulnerable in some way. It shows that you live your life, willing to get hurt on things that matter, and are honest about what matters most to you.
So. In the end?
It all starts with you.
If your reason is big enough, your cause worth it enough, being noticed will be the least of your worries.
your soul’s value
Nov 21st
ok.
This isn’t a religious post.
Nor is this about selling your soul to the devil.
Its nothing really that deep.
Ok.
Maybe its deep just not that kind of deep.
This is simply about how far someone is willing to go to sell. Or maybe better said how far someone will go to get money, or fame or power or something they desire.
What got me thinking about this?
if you ever want to learn what your soul is worth go work at a smaller to mid sized advertising agency (although I envision a lot of people in sales also face the question at some point or another).
Oh.
That reminds me of a Mark Twain quote:
“Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.”- Mark Twain
While I chuckled when I read this it was admittedly a painful chuckle.
Painful because I cannot tell you how many times (suffice it to say … too many for fingers and toes) I have been in new business meetings when it was painfully obvious that whatever new business we were discussing was so wrong for us as a client. And yet the conversation kept rolling around and rolling around under the guise of “they would be a good client” (because they have money).
Don’t get me wrong.
I like money.
But not all money is the same.
Some money fills your soul and some empties your soul.
And by soul I mean your inner value compass.
People who are defined solely by money can argue this until they are blue in the face. In fact there is even a selling “event” called selling your soul.
“The live Selling Your Soul event in NYC is over, and we’re all rolling on a wave of vivid business-building bliss. It was a high-gloss experience, where we intimately unpacked Burning Questions on messaging, marketing + online money-making, the myth of work-life “balance,” fearless price-raising, prosperous collaborating, and getting Witnessed for what you’re worth.”
Attitudinally one of the owners summarizes it by “I make my own economy.” (I actually kind of like that thought … philosophically)
And (to be fair).
That same owner uses money to balance her moral compass: “I kicked off GirlUp with their first substantial donation, proving once again that lots of cash can = lots of impact. Philanthropy is the bottom line.”
Yet. Here is my struggle with her philanthropic angle.
I would argue with the owner in that philanthropy is not her bottom line. Her bottom line is money. And she uses her money to create her balance (note: although … their website is strewn with words & thoughts that their soul is defined by a combination of fame & fortune).
Regardless. I wish it were that easy for me. Because it is not.
Look … I recognize the issue … who wouldn’t want to be recognized or have a generous income or a dream vacation home?
Face it. We all do.
But at what price? And does the end justify the means? And, obviously, WHICH end justifies the means?
And that is what I mean by emptying your soul or filling your soul. Because in the end (whether that be mid life or at ‘the big finish’) you are judging your actions not by tangible things but the intangible balance of self worth (I purposefully chose ‘worth’ because it is some combination of fruits of labor and self esteem).
It is interesting because I have seen a variety of ways people justify how they sell their soul:
winning
To these people its all about winning. Winning at any cost. Or just being able to say “I won.”
But (here is the news). winning is not always good. There IS such a thing as a bad win. But people who define their soul by winning don’t see that (or they may but justify their actions based on “we won”). Am I suggesting this aspect should be about fair play? No. not really. This is about playing by your moral compass.
money
The thought that everything leads to some magical pot of money that will erase all of their problems. These people believe that fancy cars, designer clothes and big houses will make life better. This person may try to balance it with some philanthropic aspect (typically toward the end of their lives – see Andrew Carnegie as prime example) but they are consistently willing to ignore any moral compass within their pursuit for money.
fame
Yes. The spotlight is a dazzling temptation. And that same spotlight can blind you as to the wreckage around you. But to the one seeking fame maybe that is the beauty of being in the spotlight – the only thing you can see under that glaring light is yourself. What can I say more than that? I guess if you really want someone to worship you maybe consider becoming a benevolent dictator instead.
Oh.
And the worst of all?
being liked
This is a sneaky one. Maybe its you want people to like you … so you sell your soul to the highest bidder. (again, especially IF they are someone who holds a prominent position, this is an action leading to personal moral decay … if not total destruction). This one is insidious in that it creates self definition by having NO self definition. You may as well have sold your soul to the highest bidder … just make sure it isn’t the devil.
Anyway.
In the end I know the decision I have made. And that is always to be true to myself. Tell the truth. And seek good wins (not any win).
And I have found I cannot work places that don’t feel the same way. Not really just because of me … but because I find that companies that sell their soul doesn’t create a corporate culture which I like nor a culture which I ultimately believe is healthy.
And lastly. And maybe most importantly to me. I don’t believe it teaches young people growing up in business the right thing. The senior ‘leaders’ (and I use that term loosely in this situation) simply do not recognize the repercussions of their decision to ‘sell out.’ And that is a shame.
The hell to be endured hereafter, of which theology tells, is no worse than the hell we make for ourselves in this world by habitually fashioned our characters in the wrong way.” -William James
“Habitually fashioned our characters in the wrong way” as the hell we make for ourselves.
Whew.
That is good. Really good words to think about.
I do not believe ‘what is the value of our soul’ or describing being directed by your inner values compass could ever be articulated better.
Selling your soul, even in business, just to get something to have it (regardless of the practical or unpractical reason) is making your own hell you will have to live in. And when you get to that hell maybe you can convince yourself you are a warm weather person and enjoy living where it is always hot … but … you are in your own personal hell.
I know I cannot convince all leaders of organizations to recognize this (because when a leader is in a personal hell it reaches out and encompasses his/her organization and poisons it … either slowly or quickly).
But I do know we can make personal decisions about this.
Be yourself.
Say no and mean it.
Subdue that which tries to destroy you.
Avoid the temptation to do what you know is wrong.
Face the truth that you are doing nothing but being untrue to yourself if you get blinded by money or fame.
In the end … in every decision … each person has to hold on to the core value of what defines themselves at their soul.
Because every decision either diminishes or grows your personal purpose.
And, yes, these decisions in organizations also unify or separate a group of people … even more strongly than a similar language or history (at least in my eyes).
When people live by their core values and convictions the “center” is stronger.
And.
If you don’t have a center, don’t you just fall apart as being just parts?
So.
I am not a big self reflection guy … but I do believe it is worth a minute or two to identify what is your soul, or your core if you don’t want to get hung up on the word soul.
Because if you don’t you may end up selling something you don’t want to. Oh. Like your soul.
