Enlightened Conflict

the contradictory feelings of Life

March 13th, 2016

life is contradiction squeeze

 

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“As a small child, I felt in my heart two contradictory feelings, the horror of life and the ecstasy of life.”

 

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Charles Baudelaire

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It is amazing how things in Life seemingly swing to & fro between horror and ecstasy.

 

It begins in childhood as the simplistic joys of youth crash into the inevitable of simplistic horrors <think … the ecstasy of first pedaling of a bike and the horror or the first crash>.

 

compromise balance beamSome of us master the contradictory feeling … okay … we don’t master it we simply learn to manage it. We face horror and ecstasy with an equal sense it will not last … horror with hope attached and ecstasy with a little disappointment attached. I guess we just figure out a way of balancing the contradictory feelings.

 

In simplistic adult terms we often call it the inevitable ‘highs & lows” in Life.

 

Neither last forever.

 

Neither is the norm.

 

 

It doesn’t really matter what labels we put on it all … Life is a mixed bag of contradictory events, outcomes and feelings. More often than not horror is not indicative of Armageddon and ecstasy is not indicative of future ongoing bliss. More often than not we encounter moments and envision the moment as something bigger than it is.

 

Than we have another moment.

 

And another.

And, well, another. Until we don’t.

 

 

And in the end we most likely look back at the Life balance sheet of horror & ecstasy and see it is fairly balanced. And if we are lucky and did things the best we could whenever we could we most likely see that we have more ecstasy in our asset column than horror in the liability column.

 

I sometimes believe this is a lesson learned of experience.

 

Youth looks on with horror at horror thinking it represents the yawning sinkhole of eternal despair and alternatively looks on with the addict-like yearnings at ecstasy thinking it represents what Life should solely be.

Through experience we not only recognize we ultimately have to face this ongoing Life contradiction but also how, in some ways, to avoid horror and, on occasion, encounter ecstasy.

compromise balancing act

That said.

 

I sometimes wonder if by avoiding what may appear to be horror that, on occasion, we are also eliminating some possible ecstasy.

Because maybe Life was built as a system in which to be used to its fullest we were meant to bounce off of horror … and ecstasy.

 

What I don’t have to wonder about is the truth that most of us older folk reach a point where we will sacrifice ecstasy for contentment … with the intent to avoid horror. I am not suggesting that is ‘settling’ because it is actually Life management.

 

But.

Many of the young look on and ask us “is that really the trade you want to make with your Life?”

 

All most of us old folk can do is shrug our shoulders and say “it is a choice you need to make on your own.”

 

And I imagine that is my point in today’s philosophical ramblings.

 

Life is consistent in its contradiction of horror & ecstasy.

choices happend to be jungIt is what it is.

 

Therefore, it is your choice to make what it is for you.

 

There is no formula.

There is no one right way to choose to live Life.

 

In general … each person can choose the amount of horror and the amount of ecstasy … and the amount of whatever resides in between … to make up their Life.

In general … as you weave your way thru the contradiction of horror and ecstasy you will find that … well … you will choose what to become as a person.

 

 

 

a wrong turn

February 6th, 2016

field of sun flowers===

 

“A wrong turn lead me to a field of flowers and suddenly I’m second guessing every wrong turn in my life.”

 

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Source: a thousand words tumblr

 

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Well.

 

 

I have never analyzed nor have I seen any research with regard to how much time we use to plan out the ‘right moves’ to make in our careers and lives. I planned what happenedimagine, if a study were done, between consciously planning and the ‘in the moment analysis’ planning … those two ‘life plannings’ would represent some inordinately absurd amount of our time.

 

 

When I saw this thought on athousandwords I began thinking about how often most of us attach ‘bad’ to wrong turns and how less often we attach ‘good’ to wrong turns.

 

 

Simplistically we attach wrong to bad.

 

 

Wrong turn = Bad choice/decision

 

 

Sure.

 

Sometimes that is true.

 

 

But I think I could argue that a wrong turn simply puts you in some place you hadn’t planned on <and you assume the plan was a good plan because … well … you had planned it>. Therefore the unplanned place is a bad place because it … well … was an unplanned place <some circular logic which seems kind of doomed to conclude bad even if it may actually be good>.

 

 

Setting aside the whole planning thing … turns are part of life.

leading one way

Life is not one huge straight boulevard you place your car on and start driving.

 

Life is more often like seemingly random patchwork of inner city streets with dead ends, one ways and no left hand turns which seemingly are only placed at only the intersections which you had planned to make a left hand turn.
Whether you plan the shit out of your life or not we all make a shitload of turns in Life.

 

Some are planned.

 

Some are unplanned.

 

Some you have the time to invest a lot of time thinking about.

 

Some you cannot invest a lot of time thinking about.

 

Some end up in a good place.

 

Some end up in a bad place.

 

 

I imagine my only point is that sometimes, maybe more often than you think, a wrong turn puts you in a different better more interesting place. A wrong turn exposes you to something you maybe never imagined you would ever see, ever face or ever think about. And that is the ultimate value of a wrong turn.

 

 

It exposes you to something beyond the plan you ever envisioned.

 

I don’t propose building a Life around a disproportionate amount of purposeful wrong turning. field dirt road sunset

 

That kind of seems a little chaotic and absolutely suggests a shitload of wasted time & energy.

 

 

However.

 

Maybe we think about Life more as a shitload of turns … just a blanket ‘shitload’ … instead of categorizing them simply as right turns & wrong turns.

Turns are turns and more often than not they don’t lead you some place you can never leave they simply lead you to some place.

Enlightened Conflict