Posts tagged fear
I fail, you fail, we all fail. Here is our tale.
Mar 14th
So.
I wanted to write something on failure and started … stopped … started again … stopped.
Well. I don’t know why but it was hard for some reason.
Harshly? I failed.
I failed at something I wanted to do. But. If creating a blog has taught me one thing <if that is at least one criteria of failing> that I fail constantly.
Little failures? Sure.
But a failure nonetheless.
Oh. And if you are not careful little failures are like dying a death of a thousand cuts.
Regardless.
That REALLY got me thinking about several things … the word failure (and how little it seems to be used these days) and failing itself & lessons and all that crap.
So I went hunting.
Hunting for some inspiration for the right words to say about failing and failure.
My first hunt.
Choose the Right Word by Hayakawa (almost my bible of word descriptions).
It didn’t fail me here.
“Failing” fell under Flaw <wow … I could write an entire book over that little insight>.
Flaw has a variety of aspects … blemish, defect, failing, fault, foible, imperfection, mar, shortcoming.
Regardless.
Failure is a reflection of a flaw.
An imperfection (which seems okay).
A defect (which seems not okay).
Is failure a reflection of a defective product <product being … well … us … a human … a person>?
That seems harsh. Ok. Maybe extreme.
But.
In terms of “truth to oneself” think about this … ‘imperfection’ points more often to a lack that may be a matter of opinion (Hayakawa).
Well. THAT certainly makes it easier to say “I am imperfect … I have failed.” Because, well, it is on a basis of opinion (and everyone has opinions).
Failure, on the other and, suggests a more severe shortcoming that has more severe consequences.
How ‘bout that?
There is some tough love.
The word failure is tough love.
A severe shortcoming.
And if you have a shortcoming … well … there are consequences. In fact … more severe consequences.
And maybe in this politically correct world we want to soften up things a little … and we don’t ‘fail’ but rather we made a mistake or took a step on the path to success or whatever.
Maybe it is better to just say we failed at something.
I don’t know.
But I do believe we should be better at admitting failure. I believe it should be more acceptable to say “you failed” <without it being construed in a negative way>.
I do believe we should be better at understanding we have failings … and they have consequences.
Now. Notice. Hayakawa never, anywhere, attached “negative” or “bad” adjectives to consequences. He simply points out that failures suggest shortcomings leading to consequences.
And that, my friends, is a Life truth … and more people <in my eyes> should just step up to the plate and accept that truth without all the suggestions that they keep you from being a successful or ‘whole’ person.
We fail. And maybe it is because of some shortcoming and absolutely I am assuming that shortcoming will create at least one dead end in your life (toward some success). But it doesn’t mean that it keeps you from some other path to success.
It does not mean you are a failure. It just may mean you have failed, and you may fail consistently, if you pursue that path.
Ok.
Next.
And when I went hunting I found a blog focused solely on failure. And it wasn’t bad or negative or even totally depressing.
Now. It certainly wasn’t uplifting by any stretch of the imagination but it was kind of an interesting glimpse into what I assume was a normal every day woman kind of getting a grip on life.
And this blog is her way of doing it … by embracing failure (she actually has a post called “why have a blog about failure?”: http://soyoufailed.wordpress.com/2010/08/31/why-have-a-blog-about-failure/)
As she says in her ‘about me’ section:
Who am I?
- I am female
- I’m in my mid 30′s
- I live in the Bay Area, California
- My day job is as a User Experience Designer (my 24 hour/day job is “failure” 
)
- I am a mother of 2 beautiful boys
- My “other” interests besides failure are photography, learning to play the guitar, and user experience design.
I loved it.
“my other interests beyond failure …” Nice perspective.
The site has glimpses of insight <albeit I wonder if writing nonstop about failure is completely healthy>. And while absolutely focused on failure, which I equate to a songwriter trying to write every song about a falling star <or God>, there are truly some nice perspectives on failing.
And all written from an everyday perspective.
Anyway.
About a failure <she says as one of 5 things> …
5. You learned something.
And that’s what life is all about. Learning something. In failing you probably learned something about yourself, about someone else, about a situation, about how to do something better next time. Failing is so valuable. Don’t focus on the failure. Focus on what you got from that failure.
So go ahead, fail on!
(nice closing line by the way)
Life is about learning.
Life is about failure.
I imagine the corollary thought would be “how boring would life be if we never failed?” there is such a stigma attached to failure … and the word itself. In fact, to be politically correct, I probably shouldn’t use the word failure.
It would be “trial & error” (what a bunch of bullhockey).
Look.
We fail.
And it’s okay to fail.
And it’s even okay to fail on some of the really Big things in life. Not that you try to … just that … well … we do.
It is called Life.
- Marriages fall apart even when you don’t really want them to.
- You try to win a game but you don’t.
- You try and lose those 10 pounds and you don’t.
- You try and be the best friend you can but miss when a good friend needs you.
Some are big things. Some are small things.
But all ‘things’ examples of failing at something.
And, once again, that’s okay. It’s cool.
You aren’t a failure just because you failed.
And that is a big, no HUGE, distinction.
You aren’t a failure … unless … you don’t pay attention to #5 (you learned something). You just failed.
Because, in fact, some failures are just part of life.
Maybe these are “failings” rather than failures but … well … whatever. Semantics.
I guess my point here is don’t aim to fail <as if any of us actually would, huh?> but recognize you do fail. And accept it IS failing.
Lastly.
Here is a great example of how failure … well … happens. And we (who are perfect of course) looking at failure happening right before our eyes … need to be very very <very> careful in our judgement with regard to failings and failure.
Let me give you a really big example … a really good one … which was part of this whole ‘failure’ blog:
… my crisis started. I had reached a point where I just could not figure out what to do. I was crying and weeping and just could not calm myself down. I got to the point when I had to ask myself, “What will make you sane and get you through this moment? What will keep you from killing yourself right now?” And to me, and it is a different thing for everybody, smoking had always been the thing that I turned to when I got to such a low point. It was what got me to calm down and take a moment and just be present. For some it could be a stiff drink, a dozen donuts, or a shopping spree. For me it was smoking. So I did it. I failed my abstinence. I went to the closest Walgreens, bought a pack, and smoked a cigarette.
And I admit, I failed even more and bought two more packs to get me through lower lows these past few months. I gave myself a break. I thought, it is better to have a crutch to get through these horrible days, than to be perfect and not have a crutch and go crazy. I took it easy on myself, I “failed” myself. Or more like I let myself have what I needed. I think at some point in our lives, when we need to, we should give in to ourselves. In our darkest times, we need to stop and think about what we need to get us through it. If you need to spend $1000 on clothing to save yourself, do it.
But know when it is time to stop. Know when the break needs to be over. Know when the fail needs to stop. For me that break is over now. I need to stop smoking now, before it becomes a full blown addiction again. Before it spirals out of control. Now it is becoming less helpful and is on the brink of being harmful. And so, while it is still easy to stop, I have stopped. I no longer need my crutch. It has done its job. It has gotten me through my darkest times.
I hope that for you, when you are going through a tough time, that you are able to stop and think about what crutch you need to get you through, and that you let yourself have that and let yourself fail. But I also hope that at some point, when you are healed, you are able to gracefully lay the crutch down.
Big thought in there.
“In our darkest times, we need to stop and think about what we need to get us through it. If you need to spend $1000 on clothing to save yourself, do it.
But know when it is time to stop. Know when the break needs to be over. Know when the fail needs to stop.”
Failing always needs context.
No. It doesn’t need excuses … just context.
I wrote about this kind of thing over a year ago … I stated there and then I was wrong … wrong in a way that this blogger said it best.
Here is what I said: http://brucemctague.com/doubt-part-3-crushed-between-internal-and-external-doubt
(the key words from that post)
Do what it takes to keep it alive. Keep your sense of I and don’t lose it.
Whatever it takes.
Let me repeat.
Whatever it takes.
In the past I have judged people who have leaned on religion. Leaned on prescription drugs. Leaned on self help books. Leaned on betterment programs.
Well. I have been a fool.
And ignorant.
A stupid ignorant fool.
For whatever path one chooses to maintain their flame is the right path. And a good path. And a path well taken.
You do whatever it takes to keep the flame alive and don’t get crushed by doubt. That’s it. Bottom line.
I didn’t know better words at that time but in my head I saw some things as “failings”, or failure, in people and was making my own judgments on their actions.
Look.
We have rules. We have guidelines. We have distinctions between what is right and wrong. And if we don’t meet them we ‘fail.’
Yes. All of that is true.
Yet.
In dark times … you have to do whatever you have to do to cross that dark bridge.
Whatever. Even if it means ‘failing’ in some form or fashion. Even if it means that it LOOKS like failure in someone else’s eyes.
The blogger is right.
It is okay to fail.
Failing does not make you a failure.
By the way …. Here is the site:
I fail, you fail, we all fail. Here is our tale.
just do what you think you should
Mar 12th
“all I can do is be me, whoever that is.” – Bob Dylan
“Everything passes, everything changes. Just do what you think you should do.” – Bob Dylan
Ok. I have never been a big fan of Bob Dylan’s music.
But.
I like the fact he went out … and kind of shoved it back in the face of establishment.
He kind of just said “here I am … take it or leave it.” And figured out how to be successful at what he wanted to do.
I am pretty sure the people who know exactly what they want to do … or what they will be good at .. are in the minority.
I would bet a really small minority.
And worse? People judging what YOU will be good at have a fairly poor track record as a rule of thumb <because they judge based on their own perceptions>.
What that means is if you are in that minority (who actually knows what they want to do) and the majority of people think you will suck at it … well … it not only sucks but it is tough.
People said Bob Dylan can’t sing. But he became a singer.
If you ever wonder if there is a formula for life … I would imagine Bob Dylan is the penultimate proof that there is not.
And while the majority of us will never be as famous or as successful as Bob that’s not really the point.
The point is that there are really only a couple of truths in Life:
- 1. All you can do is be you … no matter who that is.
- 2. Everything changes … all the frickin’ time as a matter of fact … so you should just do what you think you should do.
Bob?
No. He can’t sing. But he is a singer.
If that isn’t a Life lesson I don’t know what is.
echoes in eternity
Mar 8th
“what we do in life will echo in eternity” – Maximus (in Gladiator)
Because I just used this quote with regard to myself, and project global generation, I thought I would complete the thought with a full post. I kind of wrote about this thought several years ago: http://brucemctague.com/moment-to-do-the-extraordinary
I called it ‘moment to do the extraordinary’ using a quote from Admiral Collingwood at Trafalgar. Regardless.
This is kind of a simple thought (with complex ramifications).
Our actions impact others.
Oh.
And they live on.
Sometimes for eternity. Surely not all will <whew. thank god> … but some will.
And ‘what we do’ isn’t just a reflection of who we are (although it certainly reflects upon your character and how you are judged) but this is bigger than a ‘me’ type thought.
This is a “more than me” type thought.
The kind of thought that makes us think about choices and what we elect to do … because … well .., what we do echoes in eternity.
In one short sentence Maximus suggests that the way we live in time affects our present … and determines our eternity.
He suggests what we do in the present will affect not who we are and what will happen but also our future … beyond death.
Ultimately he suggests that you … well … matter.
That your thoughts matter.
That your choices matter.
That your actions matter.
And not only within this moment. But in the moments which end up in eternity.
It IS a simple thought. Your life matters not just to you but to others.
So it is simple with complex ramifications. What you do is up to you, but your life matters to the degree that you choose it to matter. All this type of thinking translates into an awareness that Life means something…when you are aware of it in a conscious way (i.e., you pay attention to it).
But it is bigger than the ‘here & now’ life you are living … this quote suggests that this makes our decisions infinitely more important than just the here and now.
Anyway. In eight relatively little words he suggests a lot … and it may seem complex <or maybe I am just making it complex> but the meaning of life is actually quite simple in that it is about choice.
Life is a conscious choice … or series of choices … on your part in that you get to choose your present, future and eternity ‘you.’ No one else. Just you. Yup. Your life, its meaning, is up to you.
In the end I imagine this is all about realizing ‘a moment’ really can matter … if you want it to.
And while you are limited in what you can see <timewise> at any point you should, and most of us do, have a sense of eternity. In that there is life, and lives, after us. And in some way … sometimes small … sometimes big … we will echo within that Life.
Maximus is correct … what you do in life does indeed echo in eternity.
Simple as that.
dirty windows
Mar 5th
“And I do not assume that my experience is universal. It is simply mine, and I offer it to you as a window, dirty though that window may be.” – opticalnoise (a blogger)
Ah.
Sometimes young people say things with the type of panache you only expect from older people.
This young blogger wrote the quote and I liked it enough to use it.
Experiences are personal (unless there is enough similar critical mass to make it quasi-universal).
And in the business world I often find myself debating with people when they offer their experience as …. well … not dirty but rather … well … universal (and that is an issue).
Two thoughts.
- Research of one is not research.
- The odds that the person relating the experience (in business management) actually reflects mainstream American (or any mainstream consumer) is so low that even Las Vegas wouldn’t take them odds.
Bottom line? Realize that your experience is most likely not universal (particularly when discussing business … but beware on personal advice also).
This may seem like a no brainer, but I can’t tell you how often this basic rule is ignored. I think a large part of it is that is because people personalize their experience (or their wife/husband’s) that they cannot fathom that no one else feels exactly the same way.
Anyway.
All that said I am now going to share my dirty window experience list (although I actually stole the thought from a blogger named arina and put my own dirt on some different windows).
I created the list because I almost have it all figured out (yeah … not so much). Thinking back from my personal experiences I believe there are a few universal experiences (let’s call them windows we all peer through on occasion just for the sake of this post) that seemingly work without fail throughout life:
- The Karma window
Karma is this random thing floating out there in the ether that somehow impacts cause & effect on all of us. Simplistically … for every action there is a reaction. Yeah. Every action <and thought just in case you have forgotten>. It is amazing to me how often we forget that our actions always, yes, always, have repercussions.
Whatever force we exert … things we send into the ether around us in the form of our thoughts, feelings and actions … comes back to us in kind (if not sometimes multiplied). There are no exceptions and you get no free passes. Oh. Please note I included thoughts & feelings in the “cause” column. That is truly the Karma aspect. Somehow … someway … thoughts & feelings enter into the ether as some type of tangible force (or ’cause’) that often creates a nuclear-sized effect. Never forget that.
- The Life window
This may actually be a different pane of glass in the Karma window. We are all connected by invisible glass in one window … called the Life window. When we hurt someone or when we pass judgment on someone … we are affected as well. Sorry. Life, for some reason, just likes to keep everything balanced.
What that means is you are probably better off (or more likely to be happy) if you attach what you care about (and Life objectives) with good intentions for other people. If you look at it selfishly, when your objectives benefit other people there is less difficulty in achieving them. Oh. And others will assist you. If you don’t look at it selfishly … well … just assume more good shit will happen in your life if you do good shit (and think good shit about other people).
- The Creation window
Everyone is creative and every one has unlimited creative potential. It is just how you define creation. Create art. Create financial success. Create the most awesome balance sheet your company has ever had. Create a kid that will be the next president. Everyone one of us has the potential to create some type of greatness. You just have to make sure the window is open and the blinds are open. Oh. And make sure you know that you actually have that window.
- The Neutrality window
Life is neutral. It does not play favorites. This is probably a derivative of the balance thing. In the absence of good & evil Life probably wouldn’t choose sides but rather stay in bed taking a nap. Life does not decide someone is more important or less significant. Life never randomly punishes. Life never randomly rewards. Nothing is random but pretty much (with some notable exceptions) everything is earned. Everyone is given an opportunity to learn something (which ultimately is the key opportunity for personal success). Everyone pretty much has a chance in Life (albeit it is tougher for some people than others).
- The Action window
This is the window right next to the neutrality window. In the absence of individual action Life will do its own things in its own time. Life does not just happen to us. It requires our active participation. Remember. Life is neutral. If you are inactive … Life is inactive <with you>. It will not take interest in you until you take interest in it. It is too busy paying attention to people paying attention to it.
- The You cannot Ignore ‘What is’ window
“What is” will evolve into “what will be” when ignored. That I guarantee. In other words … you will continue to receive what Life gives you even if you refuse to accept it. If we ignore our problems, they will only get bigger and more urgent. If we ignore opportunities, they will cease to exist. If we refuse to learn lessons from the past, larger, more serious, lessons will be given to us. If we obsessively pursue a goal or idea that is not right for us, it will elude us until we accept that we can live without it.
- The Stagnancy window
This one is the opposite side of the Action window pane. And this one is a warning. Stagnancy is addictive. What I mean by this is, if the view from your window is awesome, you can find yourself sitting there doing nothing but enjoying it. So. This I guarantee … it may be a beautiful view today but if you don’t move … and just stay there … it will lose its appeal. Stagnancy is the death of inner growth and happiness (or seeing beauty in life). When you do not use skills you lose them. Similar, without continuing effort in personal growth, you are doomed to fall back as Life continues moving. What happens then? Obsolescence. Life, and people, and thoughts, and whatever …. just pass you by.
- The Impatient window
Impatience is sneaky in life. Sometimes it can disguise itself as ambition or ‘goals’ or things like that. Because the allure, and desire, of success is something we all desire. And we may like the idea of instant gratification or easy success or short cuts … but deep down all of us know that things of value have to be earned. And that is where impatience rears its ugly head. You are peddling as hard as you can toward success … but as look through this window you are impatient, and it is challenging, because you want it NOW … but this window is about patiently waiting for the reward to come in its own time. Ok. This doesn’t mean you should be scared to do things nor shouldn’t be ambitious … this is more about having some common sense. Good things typically don’t come easy. If it were all that easy anyone could do it. Maybe learn to be patiently impatient for success.
- The Reality-based Optimism window
Here is a reality <2 of them actually>. Negativity begets negativity. If you think negatively I can guarantee you will never attain happiness. Uh oh. But. If you always think optimistically I can guarantee you will always be disappointed (sorry about that).
So can you ever be happy? Yup. By being realistic, but being optimistic. A truth in this window? Good things DO happen to good people. Well. Let me be specific … that is ‘good people who exhibit some reality-based goodness’. By the way … for anyone who wants to debate the view from this window …. research (published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences) predicted in simulated models that generosity/trust pays. Mathematically they found it pays to be trusting in the long run even though you will sometimes be cheated (so that is how Santa can figure out how to assess naughty or nice).
- The Trade-off window
For everything you gain you have to give up something else. A simple complex one.
And the last.
- The Desire window
This window sometimes has a weird filter over it that makes things not look as they really are. What I mean by that is not everything we go after is what we truly want. Sometimes we only think we know what we want … and sometimes we don’t know what we want until we get it. Maddening? You bet. But everyone has this window. Unfortunately this window is most typically found in the main room so you look through it a lot. This window is also, individually, often the dirtiest. You will be tempted to go to other people’s houses and look thru their “desire window” and hope for some guidance. Sorry. No can do. Your Desire window is your Desire window. I kind of think they are like snowflakes … no 2 the same. You will probably not have a more aggravating window in your home. Too bad. Every home has one.
So.
There you go. I will admit though … while I made my personal experiences universal … I do look through other people’s dirty windows as often as I can. Like the opening quote said … they offer a view … regardless of how dirty the view may be.
above the influence and ordinary
Mar 1st
So.
The majority of the time I find advertising “doing the right thing” messages to teens<young adults> silly and a waste of money.
I would even add in the effort invested in the websites and such as a waste.
If there was ever a group that should simply be encouraged to create a curated type ‘hub’ (it could be web driven, advertising driven, club/group driven, grassroots driven, whatever driven <some do this>) this is it.
Yes.
Some initiatives do a nice job of encouraging teens to become involved but typically it is built around “the higher message” (“doing this is bad and will be bad for you”).
I believe efforts would be better invested to simply empower the group you want to be empowered to build it on their own and permit them to find the ‘voice’ that they want to speak in.
Now.
This doesn’t mean I disagree with the intent behind these initiatives (anti smoking, anti drug, anti -any vice) it’s just that I believe kids know the difference between right & wrong.
Maybe we should just let them <empower them> tell us its wrong … but also let them tell us why they do wrong things.
Because, frankly, we all do wrong things knowingly and it is pretty hypocritical for us to assume all young adults won’t do the wrong things sometimes (and naïve of us if we believe they don’t know it is wrong while they are doing it).
For tween/teens.
It sometimes really comes down to “can I do the right thing <what I know is right> and still feel like I fit in <and look cool … or whatever the right word is for his generation>.”
Therefore any initiative which showcases “it is acceptable to do this” in a way that is relevant to the generation (without being preachy) I think is getting closer to being successful. And has a chance of maybe pointing the way for someone.
In addition.
I do believe it is a worthwhile investment to show young adults “the prize.”
What do I mean?
Well.
Among all the silly things I have seen Above the Influence do … I saw one commercial that I believe is right.
It’s called Ordinary Day.
Ordinary Day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHGK3J_u5ts
I think the brilliance in it resides within the ordinariness of it.
That the best things in life are often the overlooked ordinary things.
Now that, my friends, is a great message (no matter how old you are).
But I also believe it is a spectacular message to young adults who are often overwhelmed with expectations of the spectacular and grandiose.
I wish more people trying to communicate important things to young adults would do it his way.
Tell them the “spectacular” is slightly overrated and that the ordinary is often overlooked in its extraordinaire.
Anyway.
Here is some stuff about above the Influence. As noted earlier I like the intent.
It’s a state of mind. It’s about being yourself and not letting negative influence get to you. Pressure to drink, do drugs or do anything that goes against who you are in order to fit in – that’s negative influence.
And if you’re one of the teens who want to stay above it, you’ve come to the right spot.
iacta alea est
Feb 29th
“the die is cast” (iacta alea est) – Julius Caesar
die is cast by HotWheeler deviantart
I was tempted to call this ‘now or never part 2.”
For this is all about post choice/decision.
And the fact there is no turning back.
The fact that “we have made our choice … and the die is cast.”
<die as in dice>
Julius Caesar said this as he crossed the Rubicon, defying the Roman Senate, and starting civil war.
Caesar was stating that he was making an irrevocable decision.
And, as dice is a game of chance, he will have to play them as they are cast.
I think more people should think this way with regard to choices. Too often I feel people think a choice is simply but of a moment. And the next moment they can make another choice.
And that may be the case … sometimes … but as noted in ‘now or never’ … not all the time.
Some choices are truly forks in the road where you cannot go back and start over.
And I believe most of us would be better off if we thought more of our choices should be thought of this way. As ‘the die have been cast.’
But, hey, that’s me.
Ok.
One more thing.
Let me take a minute to discuss an “irrevocable decision.”
“It is always thus, impelled by a state of mind which is destined not to last, that we make our irrevocable decisions.” - In Search of Lost Time, Volume II: Within a Budding Grove
Now or never is a state of mind which is but a window in time. It is there … and gone. And it is within those windows in which irrevocable decisions are made.
To use the quote … it is within this window you throw the dice.
Now.
“Irrevocable” is a lot like “forever” or maybe “never.” I mean that big, all encompassing, fraught with peril, audacious-type thoughts are captured in those little words.
And that is why many people do nothing in now or never moments. You just hold the dice.
Because it is scary to make an irrevocable decision.
It is kind of scary to know you will have thrown the dice … and will never get to throw them again. And have to play them as they lay. Regardless how they lay.
Yup. That the die have been cast.
But know this.
If you do nothing when it is now or never … Life will cast the die.
And Life will make the irrevocable decision.
Personally?
I would rather cast my own dice.
Nothing against Life but <I am sure he is a great guy or gal> … but I do not know it well enough to trust it with my fate.
now or never
Feb 28th
“Sometimes there is no next time, no time-outs, no second chances; sometimes it’s now or never.” – Alan Bennett
Life is tricky.
While there often seems to be unending line of second chances standing outside your door sometimes … well … you look outside one morning and they have all gone to have a scone at starbucks.
And you are alone.
And you can’t play the ‘next time’ card or ask the next second chance to come on in. Or say … uhm … can you wait a minute? <until one of the second chances comes back from the bathroom>
Nope.
Its now or never.
And this gets even trickier.
Because while I suggested a line of second chances typically hangs out outside your door they don’t really stand around. You just kind of envision, and hope, they are hanging around.
What that means is this is a judgment call on your part.
Now.
If it helps … the odds are with you.
Life DOES give you a shitload of second chances and timeouts and next times. Probably more than you could ever use in a lifetime as a matter of fact.
But that’s not the point.
This is about the moment when the odds say … oops … none of them available.
Now or never.
Life walks right on up to you and says … ‘what’s your call?’
And this is actually the judgment call.
Life doesn’t say (in an aside whisper) … “Hey, just so you know, this is one of those no time out, no second chance, no next time moments.”
(sorry about that)
You just gotta know.
I guess the point of this is to remind everyone that while Life is extremely generous in giving time outs and second chances … there are going to be now or never moments.
And you have to be prepared for them.
And do your best to recognize them.
And make a call.
Oh.
And, I imagine, it is also important to recognize afterwards, if you fucked up and didn’t see it, that it was a ‘now or never’ moment.
And that is important because … well … you cannot undo or go back or ask for a second chance.
Because, well, it was a now or never moment.
And you are done with it.
It is gone.
Move on.
Don’t beat yourself up (wasted energy).
Don’t try and fix it.
Live & learn.
It sucks but, trust me, you will get another ‘now or never’ opportunity again one day <whether you want it or not>
And … at that moment … remember … “sometimes there is no next time.”
waiting versus living
Feb 22nd
Mr. Magorium: “37 seconds.”
Molly Mahoney: “Great. Well done. Now we wait.”
Mr. Magorium: “No. We breathe. We pulse. We regenerate. Our hearts beat. Our minds create. Our souls ingest. 37 seconds, well used, is a lifetime.”
- Mr. Magorium’s Wonder emporium
(here is the clip just so you can see the wacky Mr. Magorium: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9XcG7e9a4E )
I loved this.
37 seconds … well used … is a lifetime.
We breathe.
We pulse.
We regenerate.
Our hearts beat.
Our minds create.
Our souls ingest.
It makes you think of … “oh, I only wish I had time to … bla bla blaaaa …”
Or.
“I wish i had more time.” (followed by a wha wha waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa … that’s whining in case you need a definition)
Look. Here’s the deal.
Everyone has the same amount of time.
We all get 24 hours in a day. We all get 365 days every year (except one and it is really only one month anyway).
How we choose to spend that time is about prioritizing. Figuring out what is most important to us <and, yeah, I said ‘us’ and not someone else and responsibilities and stuff like that>
In fact … how you spend the time is kind of irrelevant … it’s just the fact that you actually have a choice with what you do with your time.
We make choices.
We live with the consequences.
Use your time for something useful (or don’t).
That’s up to you.
But, please, please don’t tell people you don’t have enough time.
37 seconds … when well used … is a lifetime.
wasted or not
Feb 20th
Well.
Who would have thought Whitney Houston dying would make me write 2 posts? (not me)
And, while I’m not weeping over her death, I certainly respect her talent and how good she was at her craft.
But. What I do weep over is the fact it seems like when someone like Whitney Houston dies people start blathering about her addictions and shortcomings … and inevitably you see the comment “what a waste.”
Or.
“A sad waste of a great talent with a once in a lifetime voice.”
Well.
Was her life a waste? Really? C’mon.
The woman had more brilliant moments to take with her to her grave then most of us will ever dream of in a lifetime (so the whole “wasted” thing kind of aggravates me).
And as I noted when she passed away … why should we judge her based on her flaws (as if we don’t have any) and by our expectations … but rather by her legacy as a singer?
I admit.
It drives me a little crazy when people start questioning what her legacy will be … for a singer admired for her amazing vocals, but who also battled drug and alcohol addictions that generated tabloid fodder of her health, marriage issues and finances?
Surprisingly (to me) one of the best Whitney articles was written by a Pravda writer (and one who typically almost makes me scream & throw things with his often skewed slightly absurd opinions): http://english.pravda.ru/society/showbiz/13-02-2012/120486-whitney_houston-0/
In addition. 
I was also slightly surprised, among the spectacle someone calls her funeral, that Kevin Costner stepped up to the plate with a really nice articulation of what I imagine all these famous, talented, people face … insecurities of “am I good enough.” And the day to day neverending subtle, and sometimes not so subtle in today’s world, are you god enough questioning. It has to take its toll.
That is no excuse for how Whitney handled it (the well publicized flaws) nor how anyone handles it. But. In the end. We can only hope all the baggage that people are focusing on evaporates and what’s left behind will be is a focus on a spectacular career of work and music.
There was also a nice tribute from Lenny Kravitz as he was performing the night after she passed away.
Intro. To Push by Lenny Kravitz: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQaTUg1JSw8
(side note: Craig Ross is the guitar player you always see by Lenny’s side – not only is he an incredible guitar player, and showman, he write/co writes the music. Are you Gonna Go my Way was his repetitive riff and the solo. Same thing for Is There any Love in Your Heart and My Love. He, and Lenny, is awesome in concert if you ever have the opportunity to see them).
Ok. Back to Whitney.
Separating the legacy from the lurid isn’t easy. “I’d like to say her incredible voice will trump all in how she’s remembered,” says Yahoo music’s Chris Willman. “Unfortunately, with a lot of entertainers who come to tragic ends, it becomes hard to appreciate their art or how it was intended, without thinking of the tragedy of their lives.”
Anyway.
I wish two things.
First is that people celebrate her life & talent and not focus on tragedy we may associate with her life. oh. And the spectacle ends.
Second.
Mainly because I cannot believe I wrote two things about Whitney Houston.
Because she was just one. And every day approximately 151,650 people die in the world.
It boggles my mind the amount of loss experienced every single day. Its not just the 151+ thousand but the ripples of people affected by each loss.
Maybe part of Whitney’s legacy is that it should remind us all of someone’s loss somewhere that happens every day.
That number I gave you makes one wonder just how many stories are not covered and discussed. Yet, each is maybe just as important as Whitney’s.
I guess maybe when one really special voice like this leaves us it should make us all think of the imperfection perfection of life.
And remember each and every one imperfect soul not as imperfect … but as perfect in their own way. And that there are another 151649 stories not being told that day.
when down is up
Feb 13th
Ok.
Some times I believe economists and marketing people take the same voodoo math classes (assuming they actually take math). What do mean? Somehow through voodoo math they can both show everyone that down is up. No shit. Really. Down isn’t down … it is really up (if only my bank balance could implement that math). 
Examples.
Unemployment is down this month (but its still up versus a year ago).
Sales are down (but it’s up versus the rest of the category).
WTF.
So let me stick with business.
Let’s be clear.
When is down, well, up?
(Answer to that question)
NEVER.
Down is down.
Down is bad.
Down is never the objective.
If i hear one more time “… well Mr. Giraffeney, it’s a tough economy right now. The category is trending downward at 11%, but we are only down 5%. So we are doing well in a tough category. In fact … <insert pregnant pause here> … we are actually up when you look it that way.”
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm …
(Mr. Giraffeney after a minute or so) “So our sales are down … but not really down? I love it!”
What a load of bullshit.
To me negative is down.
And bad (because it isn’t up).
To be fair it is easy to talk your way into the down but not really down rabbit hole of economic unreality (in fact … I say hanging my head sheepishly … I have done it myself years ago).
It is extremely easy to justify ‘down but not down’ by saying if people aren’t spending, it must be ok that they are not spending with us. And that if times are tight than that must be the reason they don’t value our brand as much (or any brand).
Anyway.
It may be easy to fall into this double speak but it is bullshit.
Here is something to chew on.
Business is out there. People are buying stuff. and there are plenty of people buying stuff.
Yeah. Even today.
Plenty of companies are gaining market share and there are a boatload of profitable companies (flush with cash by the way). And there are a lot of companies with increased sales.
We have an extremely robustly sized eceonomy out there my friends.
I say all this because it can be easy to justify doing what you are doing a variety of ways … and saying down isn’t really down is a way a lot of people do so.
Stop. Just stop.
Up is attainable.
You may just have to be a little smarter to get it.
“Smarter” almost always resides in appealing to consumer needs without losing sight of the fact you have to make money … profit. You cannot (and should not) discount your way to success. That path is a very slippery slope not only from consumer attitudes perspective (defining how they value you) but it is also puts a massive strain on profitability (which impacts the organization like a bad ripple effect).
You have to be smart and insightful with how you talk with people you want to buy your stuff. Maybe you need to seek a new role, or a differently defined role, that is more vital and easier for consumers to rationalize. And, god forbid, tell the truth & have something worth paying for.
Here is a fact.
People will spend against need – real or perceived.
They also search for value, but that doesn’t mean people will not spend premiums for quality. Or spend more money for a perceived need (which is actually a “want” instead if I was going to be technical with myself).
Look at SUVs, Starbucks, Apple and Whole Foods markets.
All doing quite well thank you very much.
This is simply finding growth under pressure.
Persistent sales stagnation is most likely a reflection of how people perceive needing what you have to offer more likely than it is “the economy.”
(sorry to burst anyone’s excuse bubble with that).
Businesses need to face the fact that the economy’s growth is going to be minimal at best …with the risk of another sharp downturn very real … and quit whining and go out and find a way to grow.
Businesses must not stop their quest for growth even in ‘bad times’ nor should they stop their quest under the guise that ‘well we were down .. but not really.’
Here is one thing I can promise you about growth companies.
In every case, there are a group of people (and I mean both business side people and advertising/marketing agency people) behind that company & brand that see things not just as they are, but as they could be.
And then they go out and get it.
No excuses.
So.
I guess I wrote this to warn people about people who stand up and say “we had a good year … we are not down as much as everyone else or the category.”
Down is never up.
And, by the way, up is attainable.
Even today.
