Enlightened Conflict

not answering questions and deflection

April 21st, 2017

Question Cloud the issue answer business




This is the word to use when evasion is achieved by clouding the issue.

Creating a smoke-screen.


prevaricate, evade, dodge




“When shrouded meanings and grim intentions are nicely polished up and pokerfaced personae are generously palming off their fantasy constructs, caution is the watchword, since rimpling water on the well of truth swiftly obscures our vision and perception.

(“Trompe le pied/wrong foot.”)”


Erik Pevernagie






There is possibly nothing more aggravating in business than someone not avoid word businessanswering “the” question. To be clear on what I am speaking about … they answer a question … just not the one you asked.


I am not going to argue that some questions are not easy to answer.

I won’t even argue that we get asked questions we don’t know the answers to but the situation dictates we make something up <yes … that happens in business>.


But abandoning the question completely is … well … complete bullshit.


But you know what?


I think the main reason it is so aggravating is because it is truly a reflection of intentions.


There is even a book called The Anthropology of Intentions by a professor, Alessandro Duranti, who kind of tackles this whole discussion of intentions & words.

He offers us the thought of ‘intentional discourse’ wherein an individual filters words through their beliefs & desires and their plans & goals to guide the discourse <regardless of whether the rest of the people want it guided that way>. In other words, using another phrase he offers us, by engaging in an intentional continuum people ponder their use of words through self-interest motivations <some good & some bad>.


By the way … I am fairly sure I mangled his academic masterpiece … but you get the point.



“You get the point.”


I share that again because while we sit there aggravated at someone who completely avoided answering the question asked … we almost always also sit there wanting to invest a little of our own energy trying to assess why they did it. Because, in our aggravated minds, in its most simplistic viewing … avoiding the question is solely about shifting attention – away from something and toward something else.



It could be something as simple as steering you away from their lack of deflection answer question avoidknowledge and steering you toward something they may actually know.


But, in most cases, a full abandonment of a specific question is complete & utter deflection.


In the intelligence community they call this effort to shift attention as deflection or misdirection. Magicians do something similar getting people to focus on one thing and away from the trick itself.

Completely avoiding the question is the business version of a distract-the-audience approach. It is this weird moment in which someone pretends to answer the question by actually answering some other question that magically appeared to replace the question really asked.

It’s almost like entering an alternative universe for a while.


Sadly. Aggravated or not … the more practiced the deception <the more practiced the business magician is> the more likely you hesitate to step in <and the more you get aggravated as you hesitate> and correspondingly … the more many of these people actually believe deception works.


It is maddening.



If they are good at it … when someone responds to a question by not addressing the points of the question, thereby avoiding the issue itself, it doesn’t create unrelated discussion to the issue … it simply avoids the issue in totality.



..... watching the question being ignored .........

….. watching the question being ignored ………

I am fairly sure we have all sat there in a meeting and watched something like this unfolding right before our eyes.


The visceral response, the aggravation, we have to this ‘answer evasion’ situation is most likely found in the revelation it is occurring … watching it unfold before our eyes.

Philosophically, we can see that through some internal conviction to retain something they feel like they should own <their reputation, their title, their perceived intelligence, their whatever> they justify evading the question.


Conviction. Yeah. I just used ‘internal conviction.’ This means their intentions reflect they are more important than not only the question itself … but you. You are not even dignified with an answer.


It is irksome <at its least worst>.


It is loathsome <at its most worst>.




I give a partial pass to the asshats you can see who have some answer they want to give everyone, regardless of what question is asked, and blurt it out when given the opportunity. They haven’t deflected the question … they just ignored it as unimportant to what they want to say and have been planning to say no matter what has been said up to that point.


It’s the ones you know heard the question … and just ignored it. Or avoided it. Or just didn’t answer it despite the fact they heard every word, every syllable and every intention from the question giver.


In other words … they intentionally do not answer the question.


<envision a deep sigh here>


I want people to face questions head on. And what makes this even more aggravating is that you know these people are quite capable of taking things head on.look over there answer


How do I know that?


These are the same people who will attack, or ‘aggressively question’, the intentions of the question giver themselves. It is a common tactic for the answer avoiders. The natural instinct is to ‘defend’ … to answer the attack. Fuck that. I want to say … “just answer the fucking question asked.”


How else do I know these people are quite capable of taking questions head on?


These are the same people who will attack, or ‘aggressively question’, the question itself. This is not a deflection tactic … this is a ‘turn the question back on itself’ tactic. And, once again, your natural instinct is to defend or … well … answer the question you are asked.  Fuck that. I want to say … “just answer the fucking question asked.”


And maybe what makes this ‘not answering the question asked’ so maddening is that we, most sane pragmatic business people, tend to sit back <after saying “WTF”> and try and unravel why it happened and what the hell just happened.

Unless you are in an interview scenario <in which you always have an opportunity, one-to-one, to hunker down and hammer out a clear answer> you are most likely in a room with other people and the non-answer has sent at least some of the people careening down a completely different road.


That makes it even MORE aggravating.


One intentional non answer to a question can completely derail a meeting or a avoid questionsdiscussion.


That is intentional discourse. Or how about the other phrase from that academic’s book … engaging in an intentional continuum.




And one last way you know these asshats are intentionally not answering the question is when they cleverly decline to answer the question with the infamous head fake answer … “I don’t know the answer to that question. I’ll work on finding the information for you and then get back to you with an answer” <and they have no fucking intention of ever getting back to you>.




You know … sure as shit … they have no plans to work on it and will never ‘get back to you’ unless you call them on it.

They are intentionally refusing to answer the question assuming the conversation will move on and, in a laundry list of other shit to do, that this one will either never make the list or be so low on the list they can stiff arm you on answering based on “working on things more important.”


Its bullshit. You know its bullshit. They know its bullshit.




Fuck you.

Fuck you and the non-answering horse you rode in on.


In my mind a good well-articulated question demands some accountability. The one given the question is now accountable for the answer. They may try and deflect and they may just answer a completely different question … but a question asked exists … it does not disappear. You cannot get away from it.


Let me share a graphic example of why accountability remains whether the question dodger likes it or not.


You open your front door in the morning and there is a nice pile of dog poop avoid question bomb stink business problemssquarely in the middle of your front door opening. You either clean it up or you avoid it. The question dodger never acknowledges the pile and steps over it moving on to something else. The shit stays at the front door and over time the smell increases and the flies crowd around.

A good question unanswered is just like that. And a question dodger cannot avoid the smell in the end.


All that said.


My message to the asshats who completely do not answer the question asked:  You will be accountable to the question and to cleaning up the mess … now … or later <and quit aggravating me by not answering the fucking question>.




Author note:

When I reread this, which took me less than a ½ hour to write, I was a little asshole admittingsurprised by how … well … aggravated the tone was.

Lots of ‘fucks’ and ‘asshats’.

I left it as is because as a 50something business guy who has always attempted to take on what needs to be taken on regardless of how painful t may have been <and career wise possibly less than prudent> I get a little angry about how the business world has become incredibly unkind to the risk takers & truth tellers and seems to reward the less-than-competent and ‘political maneuverers’ more often than it should. That’s my excuse for why I let this one stand as it does.





How do you solve a problem when one half absolutely hates the other half?

February 10th, 2017

Polar Opposites conflict



I want people to think about our politics here in America, because I’m telling you guys that I don’t know of a single nation in this history of the world that’s been able to solve its problems when half the people in the country absolutely hate the other half of the people in that country.

This is the most important country in the world, and people in this body cannot function if people are offending one another.

Marco Rubio






Polarization can create some pretty foul conduct.


Polarization can bring out the worst in people.


Polarization can create stillness within turmoil when movement within teamwork is needed <and desired>.



Polarization within leadership is a virus that infects everyone in the organization … not just in leadership.

marco rubio speech on respectful conflict

I was reminded of this as I watched a completely underreported and under the radar speech Marco Rubio gave on the senate floor after <I believe> Elizabeth Warren had been asked to stop speaking.

Warren gained all the headlines where Rubio actually had the words we should have all been listening to. It is maybe 8 minutes long and worth every second.



Please note that I believe this message is more important than just one directed toward the Senate … it is a message which all Americans should take note of.

We are fortunate to have the privilege of freedom of speech & thought and we should embrace that freedom as one to permit healthy discussion, debate and disagreements … all of which should enable healthy, positive decisions.


Freedom is a tricky thing. In the United States of America we have the unique opportunity to “criticize a president without retribution.” <as past President Obama said to a group of military people at MacDill Air Force base>.


But our freedoms are being challenge by Trump and his attitudes & behaviors in ways we haven’t really seen in a very very long time.


The Trump Affect ripples way beyond simple executive orders and specific friends unfluencers ripples2actions that will have an impact on the people of the country. The more dangerous ripple effect is one of attitudes & behaviors.

Within this dangerous Trump affect ripple,  the freedom to freely criticize is a little less secure … and the way we criticize, debate & discuss in the Trump era appears to be one of not listening, not respecting and not believing that there could possibly be a way to do something differently than the way “I believe.”


Trump and his merry little band of morally corrupt liars suggest that there is no middle ground for “ladies & gentlemen to disagree with ladies & gentlemen” <note: this is a rip off of the Ritz Carlton motto>.


The Trump Affect has trickled down into his direct organization … the congress.


And within that ripple Republicans either embrace the bully opportunity or simply privately watch in horror as leadership decorum and leadership example <which, by the way, IS important as impressionable children and adult seeking cues on how to be leaders watch closely>.

And within that ripple Democrats screech & gnash their teeth in impotent frustration over not only having no power to shift the tides of change but also because, in their heart of hearts, they know this is not the way business should be conducted.


Balance has disappeared.

compromise balancing actWhile people can bitch & moan that decorum, in the past, has only encouraged stagnancy & lack of action they should not confuse with what business is conducted and how business is conducted.

Just as I am more accepting of my high school football coach if we have a losing season but the players play with respect & dignity and go to class and show signs of growing up with a healthy personal responsibility … I am less accepting of the coach who permits poor behavior & lack of respectful competition even if they win more.

You can have all the good in this case. But balance has been lost.


In fact.


We should face the fact that balance deserted us the day Trump stepped onto his golden Trump Tower escalator last year to announce his candidacy.


And that is why Rubio’s speech is so important. Without actually saying it he suggests that we shouldn’t let Trump drag us down into some dysfunctional squabbling amorphous blob of indignant jerks.




“Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone’s lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do.

Both are nonsense.

You don’t have to compromise convictions to be compassionate.”



Rick Warren



I like conflict and I think conflict is healthy.

creative spark light bulb

It is a basic Life truth that conflict is the positive friction that often creates innovations and new thinking and new ideas.

But, as with most things in life, there are degrees of conflict.


The kind of conflict we need now, more than ever, is the productive type.


We need to better embrace the valuable contradictions in life.

Things like:


Smart and funny.

Silent but says a lot.

Liberal conservative.

Cynical optimist.




And enlightened and conflict of course.


We need to better embrace the fact that contradictions are powerful.

They create a chemistry ending in positive friction <when done right> and the fire for innovative thinking and thoughts.


In general I believe contradiction not only make life & people interesting but they also forge the kind of decisions that become the iron construct for a solid culture, civilization and country.


We need to embrace that conflict is part of life and not treat it as only a negative thing.


void embrace the unknownHumans are neither passive nor stagnant. We move. We do. We think.


Combine that fact with individuals are unique <although they may group together> and inevitably there is some conflict. It can simply be healthy competition or it can be staggeringly evil intended activity <i.e. there will be conflict because your point of view and thoughts shouldn’t exist and I am going to extinguish them>.


We need to embrace the fact that conflict can be “managed”.

Maybe call it competitive camaraderie. I call it enlightened conflict. I believe if people know more about stuff <I don’t really believe it needs a technical term> then conflict will be conducted with knowledge.


I would suggest that ignorance, and being close minded, guides conflict toward evil interactions … while knowledge guides conflict to responsible interactions.




We need to embrace that enlightened conflict is really some version of pluralism.

A pluralism in that it encourages, and embraces, freedom to learn and freedom to think different thoughts.


In the end I imagine what I really care about are people’s actions. They can remain mute as far as I am concerned as long as their actions respect others opinions and others lives and meets global responsibilities.




enlightened conflict ideasIt is silly to think that conflict doesn’t exist as part of our natural behavior <I apologize to all the “why can’t we all get along” groups>.


It is silly to think that friction between beliefs and causes is not the spark for something better.


It is silly to think conflict and friction is not good.

Good conflict leads to positive friction and ideation and evolution of ideas.


But it needs to be conducted with respect. Respectful disagreements & debate lead to two things:


  • Positive friction.


  • Enlightened conflict.



The first is based on curiosity plus friction equals better ideas and thinking.

The second is lack of ignorance plus conflict equals respectful competition.


We here in the United States have an incredible privilege … a freedom to say what we want and disagree and criticize whomever we want. We shouldn’t abuse that privilege by not understanding that it creates good conflict which enlightened conflict thinkenables ‘gooder’ ideas.


Marco Rubio did something in his speech which I endorse wholeheartedly … he tried to make an impact on his own little corner of the world … encouraging positive friction for enlightened conflict.



Marco Rubio had a stellar enlightened conflict moment … and more people should see it and listen.


“Enlighten the people, and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind will vanish like evil spirits at the dawn of day.”

Thomas Jefferson




finding a better version of capitalism

May 28th, 2016

 capitalism conspiracy elite



“The combination of technology and capitalism has given us a world that really feels out of control.”


Jonathon Franzen




 “Communism forgets that life is individual. Capitalism forgets that life is social, and the Kingdom of Brotherhood is found neither in the thesis of Communism nor the antithesis of capitalism but in a higher synthesis.”



Martin Luther King 1967




Why am I writing my umpteenth article on capitalism?


capitalism kills loveI saw a number from some USA research the other day … something like 50% of people under the age of 30 do not believe in capitalism.




Capitalism is good.


Capitalism is not bad.


Just wanted to get that out of the way.


But that does not mean there isn’t always a tension between good and bad in the soul of capitalism. It is an incredible wealth-creating & life bettering mechanism and, yet, left to its own devices can run off the tracks <morally and financially>.


Capitalism needs guard rails. Or some smart guy called it “embedded countervailing power.” It needs guard rails because humans will be humans.


When business is good, human beings become greedy.

When business is bad, human beings become fearful.


And I would like to remind everyone that culture is created by … uhm … human beings.

I say that not to be a smart ass but to suggest there is a real culture war in America, maybe the world, and it is occurring in the business world.


I purposefully use ‘culture’ because it has to do with some ethics or moral fortitude, some personal responsibility and some pragmatic hope for the future.

In fact … if we fix how capitalism works <systemic & infrastructure aspects> the net result is addressing income inequality, wage stagnation and overall economic prosperity as well as some individual “self-stuff” <kind of all the big societal issues we tend to discuss>.




A moment on the role of government.

trust the government society young

It is both a fallacy to believe Government is not the problem nor believe they are the solution.

We have a mixed economy < I stole that term from Foreign Policy magazine>.


Capitalism is not a governance system which is about maximizing corporate profit at the expense of the citizenry. Effective government curbs greed obejectives & regulates capitalism so that it does the good things it is supposed to do <innovate & bring prosperity to many> and it doesn’t do the bad things <be driven solely by greed>.


Let’s be clear.


America is not based on an unfettered capitalism nor has it ever been <nor was it ever meant to be by the founding fathers>.


It is a managed capitalism system <always has been … I say that to head off any of the ‘government is too involved’ today talking heads>.


Government attempts … sometimes better than other times … to put reins on humans within a capitalistic society.  Let’s say it’s something like giving enough range for wild horses to run free … but not to trample the gardens and lawns of the surrounding areas.


This ‘fettered’ managed capitalism idea is not perfect. It ebbs and flows and morphs into different shapes as time passes.

But it IS an effective economic and political system.


I would suggest that while polarizing … capitalism is balanced … when balanced.

But a better version of capitalism really is not dependent upon governance and laws <and putting banks out of business> but rather personal decisions, choices & responsibility.  Yes. I just suggested <again> that people, not the system, will define the better version of capitalism.


Adam Smith suggested the three pillars of a society are: prudence, looking after oneself as best as one is able; justice, keeping the law of the land; and reflection people imperefcetbeneficence, caring for others and society where there is need.


Clearly our main issue is not how to survive on true scarcity <that is not a perceived scarcity or a “less than” scarcity> but rather how to live well with plenty.


To date we have chased double digit growth and higher GDP all the while seeking higher material happiness <sometimes confused with higher standard of living>.


We have become societally insatiable.


In other words … we cannot have enough.


This funny Maslow chart reflects that as additional personal needs are fulfilled it induces new needs <which we, as humans, constantly improve ourselves in order to further attain these ‘self actualization’ activities>.  Think about this from a non-funny sustenance perspective in growing from poverty to non poverty <but the dimension perspective will always reside in the human mind>.

money puzzle-maslow


Yes. Capitalism has certainly vastly improved our lives and our means to live.


But it has also fed this insatiability.


Some guy named Sandel wrote in “what money can’t buy … the moral limits of markets:”


  • the more things money can buy the more the lack of it hurts.


  • buying and selling can change the way a good is perceived (he used “giving children money as incentive to read a book may make reading a chore rather than a simple pleasure”).


This all leads to an overall attitude that endless <and double digit> growth is essential to maintain and improve our quality of life. While I will not go into the detailed debate … that is simply not true <this is a standard efficiency versus effectiveness argument>.


Now. All that said.


The issue is really about the attitudes & attributes we are attaching to capitalism.


As I share some thoughts to try and address the young’s lack of belief in capitalism I will lead with two things:


  • Communism promises to make everyone equally rich and instead makes everyone equally poor.


  • Youth thinks it invents the world. Maturity respects the world it finds.


Suffice it to say that Capitalism is becoming some evil entity in the minds of many young people. In addition, aspects of other ideologies <communism being one> are being used relatively flippantly as ‘better than’ what is occurring within capitalism.

I actually believe it is a lack of understanding … but it is also quite possible there is a deeper lack of faith with capitalism.


If you step back you can see why the young <and the shallow thinkers> feel this way.


  • Real unemployment is nearly in double digits. Most Americans think the economy will recover next year, but only 2% think it will make a complete recovery.


  • On average, according to Gallup, Americans believe that 50 cents of every dollar the federal government spends is wasted. Democrats, who are supposed to believe in big government, guess that 41 cents of every federal dollar is wasted. Republicans think it is 54 cents, and independents put the number at 55 cents in the dollar.


  • A poll found that most Americans would rather their government did less. Some 57% said it was doing too many things that were better left to individuals and businesses. Only 38% thought it should do more.


And many people have genuine complaints. Many working-class men have lost their jobs. Those who are still employed have seen their wages stagnate. And overall they don’t trust government not to make it worse.


This is a sad state of affairs <for government who CAN make shit happen> because regulations can positively address stagnation & inequality without intervening in entrepreneurial decisions or in the price/profit mechanism.


The harsh black & white truth no one wants to say is that regulation is what makes free markets … well … free <free markets cannot sustain themselves>.



moral crossraodsI have been thinking about capitalism for a while nudging my mind toward discussing morals and character <society & culture>.


I found it interesting to think about Schumpeter when addressing the youth capitalism challenge.


  • what Joseph Schumpeter called ‘the cultural contradictions’ of Capitalism


One of the cultural contradictions <I believe he outlined 5> was … Rationality.

In that Capitalism encourages rationality in behavior. And that culture creates, and demands, a natural conflict by insisting on some ‘irrational’ behavior.


Rationality comes to life as the “maximization” of particular interests of individuals and groups.

This same rationalization then bleeds into both personal lives <family & home> and ultimately becomes embodied in some form or fashion into cultural forms.


Children become quasi economic assets <or their rearing incorporates rational ‘maximization’ theory embedded in capitalism>.


At its extreme … maximization bleeds into soulless wealth and extreme consumption thereby substituting saving and societal salvation.


Oddly, but fairly, he suggests consumption wins against accumulation. This leads to a certain diminishing of the desirability of incomes above a certain level.


At the same time, however, when the breaks of certain values associated with ethical or religious tradition fail <called the sophrosyne: Greek philosophical term meaning healthy-mindedness and from there self-control or moderation guided by knowledge and balance. Roman poet Juvenal later interpreted sophrosyne as “mens sana in corpore sano” – “a healthy mind in a healthy body”> individuals and groups come into natural conflict with capitalism. The basic human instinct is one of core values <in some degree within everyone> and therefore the natural contradiction forces some balance within capitalism.


This means that the irrational components of behavior are critical for capitalism to emerge and withstand rational arguments … especially when based on long term considerations.



That said.




“This is the genius and the Achilles’ heel of American culture. We … have a strong belief in self-determination and agency, even when our expectations fly in the face of reality,”


Katherine Newman, who studies social mobility




Capitalism in America is not functioning efficiently for a variety of reasons … but that doesn’t make it bad.confuxed


The issue of Confused capitalism … or being confused by capitalism.


No matter how altruistic and non-materialistic you may be … the issue is simple … as we sit perched on a stool at the bar of society where we can scan the room and see the danger of those who have nothing or little … as well as those who have the most <and lots of most>.


If the majority of us begin to look like we are either nearing the dangerously ‘nothing people’ or, contrarily, appear to be too distant from those who ‘have the most’ <no matter what your exact status is> we get nervous … if not angry.


Materialism, culturally, is therefore naturally cyclical in that it will always seek to balance itself. For we always ‘want’ … but most of us want it to be within the realm of ‘hopeful that we can get more’ … without appearing too greedy. Hence that is fairness.

Give me a chance for something more than I have … and give me more and I won’t be too greedy.


While everyone can debate the role of money with regard to people’s happiness … it is true that economic health does make people happier <more secure, more comfortable, more sustenance>.

This actually means that free-market capitalism is not devoted to integrity and a reliance on trust but rather economic growth.


And this suggests the people need to be regulated.


Why do we balk at regulation?


The US has always been a wide-open, free-wheeling country, with a high tolerance for big winners and big losers as the price of equal opportunity in a dynamic society. If the US brand of capitalism has rougher edges than that of other democracies most people inherently believe it is worth the trade-off for growth and mobility.

Buut while we like the free wheeling we also recognize that we are going through some type of crisis. It just becomes a discussion on what type of crisis.


Some think it is a crisis of capitalism. <I don’t>


Others think the crisis is moral. <I do>




“Advocates of capitalism are very apt to appeal to the sacred principles of liberty, which are embodied in one maxim: The fortunate must not be restrained in the exercise of tyranny over the unfortunate.”



Bertrand Russell



First there is attitude. What is maybe a disregard for societal fairness versus what could be construed as individual ‘winning’ or ‘what I deserve.’


A lot has been written about the effects of globalization during the past generation. Much less has been said about the change in social norms that globalization enabled. Many people, particularly people in power positions, took the vast transformation of the economy as an excuse to rewrite the rules that used to govern their behavior.


I say that because while there will always be isolated small groups of lawbreakers in high places what truly destroys morale is a systemic corner-cutting, rule-bending, self interest behavior type of construct.


I have thought about how and why this happens.


It starts early.

As young children we start off with a healthy core of greatness, but before long it gets covered in layers of doubt, fear and guilt. Often this is caused by people we trust most like parents, teachers and managers who put us down in subtle and less subtle ways. It’s as though people were flicking bits of mud at us until our core of greatness is totally covered. Even worse, we flick mud at ourselves by accepting smaller versions of ourselves through negative self-talk and poor thinking; and we become a tiny fraction of the potential that once existed.


Once potential is curbed we seek to find success in other ways … sometimes circumventing “what is right” to make small excusable steps in our behavior to attain ‘small personal successes.”


repair faults consumerism

Second is our propensity to consume <and its self perpetuation>.

Our propensity to consume without thought for the planet, the poor or even the person next door is a sign that greed and fear are the motives of the moment.


Freedom certainly creates problems (inequalities most notably), but it also solves them.

But the central aspect of freedom advanced by these thinkers was the market, or what Adam Smith had described as the propensity to truck, barter and exchange. In this area, freedom allowed dispersed individuals—disposing of their own resources and choosing for themselves what they want to buy—to generate a level of prosperity that has had no precedent in human history. And the pricing system that emerges from the market—that is, from the push and pull of supply and demand—provides the indispensable knowledge needed to guide the economy.


So. All that said.


I would tell young people that Capitalism is not the issue.

It is the people within the system <and young people can fix that by entering the system>. The system can work just fine … it is simply being abused at the moment.


Capitalism needs to be managed to be more oriented to the long term and socially more responsible.


Interestingly … Richard Branson has formed an initiative to do just this … but I found it interesting that initially he sought to have a board of Business Elders … but  there were too few candidates from the business world of sufficiently unimpeachable character to staff it <insert ‘oh my’ here>.


Anyway <to conclude part 1>.


Since World War II in particular, America has been on a consumption surge/binge. While wages have certainly stagnated family disposable income has grown, life standards have improved, health has improved and overall quality of life has improved <and showed a continuous growth>. Unfortunately, at the same time, while families busily lived their lives they also had access to the finest inventory of toys capitalism could provide. Each generation was doing better than the one before, life was good and standard of living acquired a layer of ‘non essentials’ as part of how the people lived a successful & happy life.

At the same time.

Televisions starting bringing news, influential people talking and capitalism toys into the family living room. Television allowed busy families the opportunity to be exposed to complex issues through professionally crafted sound bites and talking points. People were now becoming more informed from a larger perspective, not just local perspective, and we ushered in the inevitable “keeping up with the Joneses” aspect.

What we face is the natural rising tide of ‘better than before’ facing the ebb and flow of time. The waters being drawn backwards is not appreciated by those standing in a spot washing their feet in the surf. Is it greed for most people? No. it is simply a desire for the status quo – “better is a right not a privilege.” Therein lies the social & cultural task at hand.


Anyway <to conclude part 2>.


Doing something.Accountability where you stand




I write and post on my blog. And speak about it wherever and whenever I can <especially to young people>.


It is easy to talk about it because it seems like if we take a moment and reflect on the problems in the world today we might easily come to the conclusion that it is mainly due to deterioration of our morality compass.

It seems like everywhere we see people filled with greed and intent on self-gratification.

It seems like people are always willing to compromise on values/morality to make personal gains.


If we start talking about values and create some sort of awakening in the minds of people.


Will everyone do it? of course not.

But someone has to go first.


Someone has to become the catalyst for change.


Why not the youth? We should encourage them to enter the system and build what they desire from the inside out rather than simply breaking the system as unfixable.

holding the universe together

March 6th, 2014


“She wasn’t doing a thing that I could see, except standing there, Two hands preserve a green tree against a thunder-stormleaning on the balcony railing, holding the universe together.” – J.D. Salinger




In today’s world if it doesn’t appear like you are doing something … then … well … damn it … you aren’t doing something <even if you are holding the universe together>.


You have to be doing something that can be seen.


Because if you don’t … everyone is convinced you are doing nothing.

I call this issue … being challenged by the ‘outcome mentality.’


In that outcome, or output, is everything.


I have an entire rant coming up soon on that topic. So I won’t debate it here.


Let’s assume for here that output is truly all that matters <note: that was extremely painful for me to type>.


That said.


So what if your output is … well … holding the universe together.


That’s a metaphor.

I’m not truly suggesting the actual universe … lets go to business. Sometimes you run across that leader … or sometimes a manager … or a young employee <with the potential to do so> who holds the business or the organization together … but sometimes when you look … you cannot see what they are actually doing. They may be often seen doing nothing but standing there leaning on the balcony rail.


Uh oh.


In today’s business world that person is screwed.



I’m not suggesting you want people who do nothing … but sometimes people who look like they are doing nothing are actually doing a lot of something.


And sometimes it is difficult to measure these people up against ‘outcome focused generators.’

holding universe together ballWhat I mean by that is I have had people in my teams where during review time I have had to stack employees and justify their salary, job status, existence within the organization, whatever review line item you want to call it … based on ‘what have they done.’

Tangible outcome crap.


And … well … sometimes your most valuable employee doesn’t look so hot based on sheer tangible outcome. It is only when you build in intangibles that they rise above the tangible outputters <not sure that is a word>.



Any experienced business person reading this will be shaking their head going … “whew … been there” because you have a clear visual of a scrunched up face across the table from you saying things like “well … can’t we get them to do more? … I am struggling to see the comparable value to <insert some outputter name here>.”


You want to reach across the table and wring their neck shouting “they are frickin’ holding the universe together for god’s sake.’


Holding the universe together is a talent. It is a unique talent to make those around you better and more efficient and … well … happier <or maybe just more realistically positive>. And sometimes that talent is embodied by ‘not doing anything but standing there.’


I have run across several business people who had the incredible ability to ‘hold the universe together.’ And I have had the incredibly ludicrous experience of having to encourage them to waste time to ‘tangibilize’ <once again … not sure that is a word> what they are doing so people can ‘see’ their value.


As a manager, or leader, I imagine one of your responsibilities is to protect these valuable unique people from the challenges of the typical business world view and foster their abilities and opportunities.


It has always been that an ‘outputter’ has never understood this person or value. Never have and never will. That’s okay … because organizations, just as in Life, need a variety of personalities and talents to be successful.




I do get a little concerned that the business world pendulum has swung so far over to outcome & output that those who ‘hold the universe together’ is becoming a dying breed. Maybe I am less concerned for the immediate … but over time. Because the young people with this talent and ability simply cannot protect themselves from an output world without help. And if all we do in business is to promote outputters … well … enough said. You get it.


I am sure throughout my career I have missed people who ‘could hold the universe together.’ And I rue those mistakes. I take solace in that I have holding universe together lennonrecognized others and tried to herd them through the business gauntlet of ‘all that matters is results <or output>’.


All I can say is that while as a leader you take pride in every employee you have … the ones who have the ability to hold the universe together hold a special place in your ‘list of things done’ <or list of things ‘I didn’t fuck up’>.


I imagine that is a reminder that in the end … end of your business career or Life … the intangible often  measures up more so than the tangible in reviewing ‘what I have done.’

equal opportunity, affirmative action and an old white guy

July 8th, 2013


equal we are all“The past is never dead. It’s not even past.” ― William Faulkner <Requiem for a Nun>



I have wanted to write my thoughts on affirmative action and equal opportunity for a while. I hesitated because I wondered what an old white guy (me) could credibly contribute to this topic. In fact … I began this writing on Martin Luther King Day, examining my own intentions and actions … attitudes matched to behavior <in a harsh spotlight> thinking it could be a viable exercise, and then I shelved this in my draft folder.


And then Paula Deen’s issue of ‘racial character’ came a knockin’ on my brain’s door.

Oh my.

If you ever want to think equal opportunity and racism and the past this is the time to do so <my brain said to my brain>.


I am not a Paula Deen fan … never have been … neither her food or her sugary sweet <on the surface> attitude. But this isn’t about whether I like her or not … this is about racial sensitivity, racism and … well … now & then <past & present>.



What got me started on this whole issue was that I found it interesting on MLK Day that President Obama <a minority by the way> was getting shit about equal opportunity <and the fact he isn’t staffing minorities in key positions>.

Holy cow.

This proof how difficult this topic is … if a minority president cannot satisfy people that certainly have to give us common everyday hiring people a sense of how difficult it is.

In addition … my mother, regifting a gift my sister gave her, encouraged me to read Condelezza Rice’s book <where she expresses her thoughts on affirmative action>.


I am not going to review the book.

Nor am I going to invest a lot of energy pointing out that the President did hire a woman as secretary of state and want to nominate an African American woman as her replacement <in maybe the toughest position for a woman to serve globally … so he obviously hires off of merit & qualifications and not gender/race>.


But I am going to begin by discussing something I have mixed feelings about … equal opportunity laws. In addition I will share some of my thoughts on affirmative action and racism amongst us older folk.


Before I do here are some business thoughts to provide a foundation for my thoughts:

–          We are foolish <we old white guys in management> if we do not believe,equal opportunity white guys or understand, how the past affects how we behave. Years of misconceptions and prejudices deeply believed in a general society has certainly resulted in a misshaping <or shaping> of certain things in our own minds. I say that not to excuse our actions but rather to suggest there is a reason for our behavior.

–          There is a difference between interviewing, hiring and managing with regard to this topic.

–          We are a work in progress. Peoplewise & countrywise. I often chuckle when someone refers to us as ‘civilized’ because in some ways we are … and in some ways we are not. The truth is that what we are is always a work in progress. Not just on equal opportunity but in particular on equal opportunity. We have come miles from where we were … and yet we have miles to go.

–          Despite being an admitted work in progress … there is a constant struggle with punishing past behavior and rewarding current ‘changed positively’ behavior



I want to discuss this topic as a business topic … from two angles – intentions and actions.

And within each of these look at interviewing, hiring & managing.

Sound complicated?


But this is truly about attitudes <recognized and subconscious> and behavior.

And us old white folk should take the time to think it through in this kind of excruciating detail to better understand what is going on … what we are currently doing … and where we are going.


I will start with me, my beliefs, attitudes and actual behavior, so no one can suggest I am casting stones at ‘unenlightened others.’


To me.

Equal opportunity, or affirmative action, does not mean unqualified people are forced into positions but rather provides the opportunity for qualified minority people to gain those opportunities.

It gets them in the game … through the law.

Simplistic? Probably.

And I probably get killed in the nuance <of which I am quite familiar with and have the scars to prove it>.

Here is my issue.

The laws are created because most people don’t do it unless forced to … and <using what I know about behavior> forced behavior doesn’t modify long term behavior.

Particularly in established old white people establishment/management <and I am an old established white guy>.

What am I saying?

Laws establish rules people need to follow.

Laws do not create changed attitudes <which lead to changed behavior>.


Now … Condelezza Rice is opposed to them. And so was The West Wing’s Ainsley Hayes who discusses why she opposes an amendment giving women the same rights as men:



(the key scene begins at the 3:50 mark)


But while both of them are smarter than I … I will respectfully disagree.



Desired behavior will only happen when people are motivated to do so … on their own.


I recognize that laws serve as necessary guidelines.

Maybe unwanted by many … but needed for all.

And if the Paula Deen discussion isn’t a good reminder that laws are still useful to guide I don’t know what is.SONY DSC


We are a work in progress we Americans … particularly on this issue.

While it is easy to suggest the past is the past and we should move on … it is not that simple.


“Prejudice is a burden that confuses the past, threatens the future and renders the present inaccessible.” – Maya Angelou



The practical aspects … this whole intentions versus actions thing.

And I will use myself and my record.

My attitudes and beliefs are very open on this topic. Simplistically I could give a shit what your color, sex, attitude toward sex, or whatever prejudice anyone wants to discuss is … all I cared about was could you kick ass in the job I have you and would you work well with the team I had in place.

That said.

In a harsh light my record with regard to hiring minorities is spotty at best.


Now that is a different story.

I had the right attitude … but my actions <behavior don’t match … which by the way … as I wrote this was quite enlighteneing … but sorely disappointing to me>.


But here is where I get into the realities of hiring … I had earned a reputation for hiring women … and therefore human resources would feed me reams of qualified female candidates from which I could glean the best of the best.

But frankly … my pool of candidates was skewed by the resumes I received.


My groups were high performers. The best of the best. They were as good as any I have ever seen anywhere <and I wouldn’t trade who and how I hired for anything>.

Other hirers?


Other hiring people, not known for hiring women, simply received the female resumes HR gave them <and that’s it … not many at best> among all the resumes they received  … and we all know HR <while doing what they believed was best> often doesn’t give you what you need … because they recognize who you are and who you will typically hire <it is a time & energy management technique>.


So I simply had the numbers on my side. I had all the female resumes I could ever desire … and I could sift through them.


Embarrassingly they were most often female <with a few notable exceptions>.

I guess my point is that I didn’t need laws … and I found those who did need laws didn’t obey them anyway.

You can review all the resumes you want but it always comes down to two things:

–          the most qualified candidate for the position and you <the hiring person’s style and management/team beliefs>

–          what the hiring person wants to hire


Note a couple of things here.

On the first point there is a lot of room with regard to the hiring manager style.

What was right for me could be incredibly wrong for another manager.

On the second point … some male managers just do not like managing women … or don’t feel comfortable with minorities … or whatever … they will skew their hiring to their comfort zone.


Laws may try and dictate behavior but it is counterproductive.

And, at its worst, that counterproductively rears its head as “hiring just to hire” which inevitably leads to that hire obviously not fitting in.


Do I have an answer for this? Certainly not.

My hiring record suggests I needed some help with regard to minorities.

I had good intentions … but my true actions needed help.


When should laws go away?

Whew. What I would suggest is that these types of issues only change when hiring managers are enlightened enough to ignore skin color, gender or anything beyond performance and fit in the group.

When intentions <words spoken> meet actions <those actually hired> then we have shown real progress.

And when maybe a generation has become enlightened <and who the heck can truly measure that?>.


I used me purposefully as an example so no one could get pissed.

I have a great attitude with eagrd to interviewing and hiring minorities … and yet my actions dint match.

It would be very <very> easy for me to flippantly suggest I am an ‘enlightened manager’ and I am socially aware and all that good stuff.

But my hiring record doesn’t fit the bill.




Absolutely not.

If we are not unfailingly aware of our own attitudes and behavior than who will? <the answer is laws and legal and none of us really want that … I don’t want to be told the right thing to do … I just want to do the right thing>.





Despite being an admitted work in progress … there is a constant struggle with punishing past behavior and rewarding current ‘changed positively’ behavior.

This is where the Paula Deen situation has relevance.


“… anything that happened in the past between black and white, I can’t really speak on it, because I wasn’t there. I don’t feel like me being born the color I am makes me any less of a person.” – Eminem

<note: who ever thought I would use Eminem and Paula Deen together? … I am chuckling>


Deen’s attitudes <and uncomfortable words> reflect many white Southerners of her generation.

Heck. She reflects many white people of her generation of any geography.

Sure. It is now recognized as morally questionable … and it is certainly uncomfortable unenlightened … and I imagine she knows that now … but it isn’t something that can simply be wiped out like an etch-a-sketch.

This oft-stated acute racial sensitivity is a fairly new thing in our culture.

Every younger person today who deals with anyone in the older generation will run into some racial epithet of some kind. I don’t care if it’s a southern older person <where the river runs deep> or a New York City older person <where the river runs but differently>.

That older generation grew up in different times and thought different things.

We also know that for everyone one of those elderly whites with their residual racism we have also seen many of those same ‘racially insensitive’ who have done more good for the black community than … well … many of us who are more ‘racially enlightened’ have done to help the black community among us.

Go ahead. Speak with the elder generation and they will be politically incorrect on race … they will be hopelessly, innocently ignorant … maddeningly so … and yet they will take some absurdly outstandingly generous action to help the black community … not out of guilt but rather because, without much thought, it was the right thing to do.



Where I truly struggle with Deen’s treatment is the righteous simplicity being brought to bear on the complex realities of racism.

Simplistically people are suggesting that anyone currently ‘racially enlightened’ must crucify and crush anyone with Deen’s personal history and antiquated views.

This suggests many in the elder generation <of which I could be construed as part of> are irredeemably tainted.


In the bigger picture this suggests that all of us are irredeemably tainted by our past actions.


We know better.

We are all work in progress.

Who I am today is simply a different version of who I was yesterday … and I will be a different version tomorrow for god’s sake.


Here is a fact.

We struggle assessing past behavior and current behavior.

And I am not suggesting our pasts be ‘swiped clean’ so that past regressions be ignored … but rather while it makes it all complicated … maybe we should measure ourselves and everyone around us by how we have adapted.

Some adapt better than others.

Adapting, frankly, is easier for some than others <therefore we cannot always judge others by our own actions and behavior>.


I believe attitude matters.

Attitude matters a lot.


In the end.


We are a work in progress culture.

And impatient (in a good way) for improvement and doing what is right.


The president of the US <a minority himself> is getting crap for hiring too many old white guys.

I got crap for hiring too many women.

Paula Deen is getting crap for something she did over a decade ago.

enlightened sand

I imagine others get crap for hiring too many minorities.


And you know what?

That’s okay. In fact it’s good. The dialogue is more effective than any law we could ever put in place.

The dialogue forces us to examine our own attitudes and behavior.

Our own intentions, attitudes and action.

The past will always haunt us <old white guys & society in general> but we can only hope we take small steps of progress and that the next generation of managers will be better than us.


The struggle I have is when ‘getting crap’ becomes ‘getting skewered’ <and becoming a pariah>.



Results matter.

But attitude is more important.


“Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future.” – John F. Kennedy


Racism & prejudice, of any type, is steeped in the past … a past which will never simply go away but rather remain present, recognized … and managed.

We should accept responsibility for the future and not blame past behavior just for the sake of blame.


We are a work in progress.


For the business world?

Equal opportunity at its core simply suggests “hire the best option for the need you have.”

Nowhere in there do I see any skin color, gender or any other characteristic rather than ‘fit.’

We can dance on the head of a pin if we want … and screw around with ‘the need you have’ with a bunch of nonsensical reasons why someone ‘fits’ or doesn’t fit.

And you can screw around for good or for bad <depending on your own racial & moral compass> … but ‘best option’ is ‘best option’.equal opportunity bitches get stuff done


Someone once told me I couldn’t have a woman work on a male driven business and client.


I said ‘fuck you’ and had an entire female group work on that male driven business … and they kicked ass.


“Can’t have?”


As soon as someone hears that it is time to shake the etch a sketch.


But, hey, that’s me.


I am a work in progress <and I am an old white guy>.

Open, open … and open again

November 4th, 2012


I have two pet peeves … or things that aggravate me, in business meetings.

(1)    Selling beyond the close.

(2)    Having multiple people say the same thing.

Selling beyond the close is going to be another post.

Because that really only aggravates me when it is an experienced person who does it.  Less experienced have to find the “feeling” associated with agreement and then have the strength, and fortitude, to keep their mouth shut <to leave unsaid words … well … left unsaid> because the idea had been agreed upon. And that just takes practice.

This is about “the repeat.”

It may be the single most aggravating common mistake business people do in meetings.

I bring it up because I just experienced it. <again>

In the opening of the meeting someone else came crashing in and … well … re-opened the meeting … oh … and then someone else steps in to reopen.

Yup. That would officially be three opens to the same meeting.

Three opens differentiated mostly by the sound of the voices … and maybe a word here or there.

I used the opening as an example mostly because it sets the tone for the rest of the meeting and I started scribbling notes for this post right then and there <yeah … even I started tuning out … and I had a role>.


You would think experienced business people would not do this, but experienced people are actually the worst offenders <probably because they have the most bloated egos>.

Let’s think about this … because this repeating can occur in a variety of ways in a business meeting.

The most popular is three people answering a question … when the first answer was just fine (or 90% right which is just as good as fine).

This one is just frickin’ crazy.

It is crazy for 2 reasons <okay … there are more but I will stick with the two most common sense business craziness aspects>:

–          Multiple answering is acting like this is the one and only opportunity to answer the question. It looks like three dogs slobbering over a bowl of human food thinking they need to eat it fast before the bowl is completely empty because they will never ever get any food ever again <dogs have no sense of time>.

It is crazy because if it is important enough it will come up again.

Oh. And isn’t there something at the end of a meeting called “questions”? <silly me for pointing that out>

–          Multiple answering implies the business people on the opposite side of the table are stupid. Okay. It just implies that they are not smart enough to ask a clarification question if they actually need clarification. Oh. But here is the crazy part. You will never frickin’ know if they had needed clarification because you just bludgeoned them with three different clubs of words.

But I guess the open, open, open practice is the worst.

Or maybe it just feels the worst.

Because it is delaying the actual meeting.  And it is people just talking. And most of the words are saying the same thing (in different words).

And. It. Is. Painful.

And it shows lack of confidence (from the presenting group).

And it shows lack of understanding (in that if you are patient and the point you want to make is THAT important it can be discussed later).

And it shows lack of meeting dynamics understanding.

The only example I can come up with would be if you went to a symphony and they opened with a song. And at the end of the opening one of the band members said: ‘Let’s play that again <because I think we could do it better>’.

And then at the end of that opening … another band member said “ok, let’s do it once more” <because I think we could do it better>.

Oh.  And think of that example just as I explained it … but it is decided to do so … without telling the other band members you were going to do it.


You would kinda be tempted to shove a violin where the sun don’t shine on that person wouldn’t ya? <yes>


Because this is so aggravating and is so prevalent I know I have been part of several fairly creative techniques to halt things before it can even happen.

Just some tricks of the trade <but even they don’t work all the time>. I will begin with the infamous “one person could never answer a question correctly so several people will addend the initial answer.”


Of course you tell everyone “just one answer to every question.” Get it out on the table. Even the worst offenders will take a reflective moment and ponder. They may not heed the advice in the heat of the battle but at least you have set the groundwork. Please note … 99% of the time this never works.

–          Designate a question answerer. Most companies have one or two people who are just … well … better than other people at answering questions. Just have all questions answered by this person. Now. This person doesn’t actually answer all the questions … but they redirect to the appropriate person.

“Sue knows the most about that … Sue … what do you think?” is the easy redirect.

The power of this solution is that all questions are being handled by your best question answerer. Depending on the type and length of the meeting it is very very effective … but puts a very heavy burden on that person. The only tip I really have on this option is that even though that person may be your best answerer, if you ask him/her to do this … do not ask them to close the meeting. They will have invested too much energy and thought to be the most effective in closing.

–          Designate a question follow-upper. This is most typically the person who you have decided to close the meeting because they also tend to be the ones who have listened the best, assimilated the data <who said what and asked what> and crafted a bunch of words that doesn’t sound like gobbledygook <a technical business term>. This person follows behind answers to questions and either adds a brief point or asks for permission to move on <it can be done like this … “if that answers the question we can go to …”>.

Trust me. It sounds smooth if you have the right person do it.

–          Coach everyone to end their answer with something like “did that answer your question? If not, someone else may have something to add.” It is a preemptive strike against your ‘repeat’ offenders on your side of the table … in addition it shows patience, care for your audience, desire to listen <and respond> and a sincere desire to insure something is covered well before you move on.

<by the way … this one is extremely difficult to have a broad group of question answerers actually do … but it is also probably the most effective meeting tactic of the bunch>

And directly to the rant topic of ‘open, open, open.’

–          Stick to the plan & the script.

Look. Most meetings using a full team have been discussed, discussed again, and most likely rehearsed. You have made some decisions. You have a plan. Stick to it.

Most likely you have made one of two decisions for the opening.

The first is ‘I am going to have my best opener and have that person set the tone’ or, the second option, ‘I am going to have the most relevant person open the meeting and have them set the functional groundwork’ <which isn’t exactly ‘tone’ as it is more functional>.

And because you have made that decision, either one, you have also made a conscious decision on two additional things for sure … who follows the opening … and who will close the meeting <the rest of the speakers are really all about delivering the information>.

The second talker will always know the risks of what happens if opener doesn’t have their “A” game that day. And will move in and do whatever it is their script suggests.

Oh. On that thought … people who step in and ‘re-open’ for some reason always seem to be clueless on the affect they have on the second speaker <which constantly amazes me in its lack of awareness>. Not only does a ‘second opening’ undermine the opening statements but also immediately suggests to the audience that the second planned speaker wouldn’t be smart enough, and aware enough, to know what to do.

Anyway. You have also selected the closer because … well … they know how to close a meeting. A good closer knows if you stumbled out of the gates or not, if you have picked up momentum or not as well as what was covered and what wasn’t. You picked that person because that is what they do. And if you stick with the script that closer will pick up whatever pieces which are important enough to be picked up as well as assimilate what has been shared and discussed.

Frankly, going off script can make the best closers in the world become the non-best closers in the world. Why? Mostly because it scatters even more random pieces out to be assessed and juggled.

Lastly on sticking to the script … not all openings go as well as planned … and some go better than planned … in either case it does a meeting no good to slow down.

You keep on keepin’ on.

Because meetings, just as in Life, if you are not going forward you are going backwards.

Oh. Someone is probably going to suggest all these guidelines and boundaries make for a rigid cold meeting. Well. I have three things to say with regard to that:

  1. No. <or … “nuts to that.”>

    Meeting & the Business World

  2. It sometimes seems like people put a higher priority when designing & discussing meetings on “casual” and likeable and a whole bunch of loosey-goosey nebulous feel good stuff versus information delivery. In meetings … pretty much any meeting … the number one priority, far and away from any other, is delivering relevant information. Worry, and focus, on that. The better, and more relaxed, you are on delivering the information the more casual/likeable/nebulous good you will look.
  3. Adaptability. The ability to adapt to a situation is the pinnacle of meeting effectiveness. But notice I used ‘pinnacle.’ I did because it is difficult … which is kind of funny for me to write because despite that ‘truth’ … I cannot remember the last time in discussing a meeting where it was almost discussed as a “well of course we will adapt if we need to.” Look. I love adaptability. That characteristic in a meeting is powerful. I also recognize it is very difficult. I only suggest being open to adapting if you have one of two things <there may be others but these are the easiest>:

–          a cohesive team with a track record together. Anything other than an experienced team is fraught with peril. And, no, you cannot bend this rule if you say “we have a senior experienced team.” Nope. No can do. Even the best of the best ,as individuals, need to play together as a team for a while, and particularly in pressure situations, before you actually become a cohesive team. So just being senior and experienced doesn’t meet these criteria.

<note: I cannot tell you how many times companies make the ‘this is a senior team’ mistake … and make it again and again>.

–          At least two senior great ‘listener/responder’ team members. If you have 2 co-captains who seem like they are two sides of the same coin you can sometimes pull this off. Of course the presentation/discussion has to be built to accommodate adapting <typically this means other people on the team have to have ‘pods’ of information to share and understand they can avoid the transition responsibilities> but a good team can pull this off if you have ‘the two.’ One? No can do.

To finish up …

Meetings, using a team, is all about choreography … in delivering information <not in delivering a show>. However I will use a show metaphor on why “opening, opening, opening” is not only aggravating but never good. In the performance arts even the best make mistakes. The audience groans. The rest of the cast visibly tightens up. But the best of the best pick themselves up and move forward like nothing bad ever happened. The audience doesn’t forget … but they relax … and recognize the best don’t dwell but move on. And the rest of the cast? Hmmmmmmmm … they typically not only relax but they also typically pick up their game ever so slightly because their best of the best decided to show them that mistakes does not mean failure.

It never fails to amaze me how often senior business people just completely miss the boat on this relatively simple thing.

3 thoughts for the day

October 18th, 2012

This will be my American debate post <although there are some Life lesson thoughts buried within>. And, as before, I will permit the paid media to dissect what seems to be every syllable, not just individual words, performing a surgery to uncover intent versus what was actually said. I would tell all those media surgeons one thing … 50% of the people watching the debates say <in polls> they would not vote for either candidate.

Okay. Without tearing apart anything here are three thoughts with regard to what I saw <without any massive overthinking but simply using a note or two I jotted down during the actual debates>.

Thought 1: subtle acts of graciousness

The last President debate. In an otherwise 90 minute workmanlike display of negativity and attacks there was a subtle moment of graciousness.

Extremely subtle and will be continuously overlooked because of the importance of the moment <so thank god I am here to point it out, huh?>.

This was during the now infamous Libya/Benghazi embassy discussion <did he actually say acts of terror or not and despite the fact he actually said it did he mean it … all of which is crazy …>.

The president had just finished his ‘Hollywood moment’ <”that is not the way we do it”> and Governor Romney went on the attack because he was sure he had caught the President in a lie.

We need to remember this is a highly emotional moment for the president. Politics aside he was also actually delivering a state of the union sound bite on “don’t fuck with America”.

The Governor turned directly to the president and said “so … in the Rose Garden you actually said acts of terror?”

The president knew exactly where the governor was going. The president knew the intent and the inevitable next phase. In a debate this is where you can actually see the jaws of the trap closing.

Let’s be clear. You don’t always get these moments and nor do you give them away.

The president’s initial response … “move along governor.”

In an incredibly subtle act of graciousness the president, in a highly emotionally charged moment, held the trap open for a moment and was giving the Governor the opportunity to think for a second … and even avoid the trap if he decided to. He suggested to his competitor that this was not a path he should pursue.

–          Note: I envision in that moment, no matter how brief it actually was, someone in the Democratic debate team backroom was screaming at the President “what the f#@% are you doing !!??!!”

People can tear this apart but there is only one way to view this. Instead of pouncing on an opportunity he instead offered to give the opportunity away.

That, no matter how you elect to define it, is a gracious act on an incredibly important stage.


In the heat of the moment the Governor missed his opportunity <although I believe he sincerely thought he had caught the President in a ‘puffery’ moment and I am also willing to bet some aide who either had not shared the transcript or had convinced everyone that ‘the president wasn’t being literal’ – which is dancing on the head of a pin type reasoning – got a well-deserved smack on the head afterwards> and got trapped.

I will admit that I extremely disliked the President’s “could you repeat that” comment after the trap had closed as unnecessary gloating.

However, in the end, I made note of the subtle act of graciousness.

I believe it is often the moments within the moments, the subtle things, which show you the true measure of the man (or woman).

Does this mean he now gets my vote? Nope <I am still undecided>. Just means I respect him for the subtle act of graciousness he offered a competitor in a heated moment.

Thought 2: invested spectating

The heck with the debaters … watch the invested spectators <and it is difficult on a number of levels>.

Michelle Obama, who has been through this gauntlet before, is a stoic rock. Absorbing whatever she sees and hears <although I envision many of Dolly Madison’s finest china has met their demise against a white house wall on occasion as she vents some frustration afterwards>. Ann Romney, who hasn’t been through this gauntlet, looks like she has swallowed an entire glass of milk … that has gone bad. Tagg Romney <one of Mitt’s sons>, in one of the most delightfully honest moments of candor, stated he wanted to go up on stage and take a swing at the president <noting he doubted the secret service would permit him the opportunity>.

Michelle Obama has equated watching her husband in a debate like watching her child doing a balance beam routine. With all due respect to Mrs. Obama <who I do admire> she is selling the challenge to her and Mrs. Romney, and all the truly invested spectators <family> short. There is an intellectual aspect in which integrity, honesty & character is combined with the concern for the physical aspect <the mental agility> necessary to be successful on the stage in this event. This is not just like watching a physical event where there is some failure to perform aspect but there is an emotional aspect that tears at the bond you have with someone you love.

A retort between candidates means that someone you love, are married to, been brought up by, etc. is having their character questioned <and let us be very very clear on this … both of these men are good men with strong character & passion for what they believe is right for America>. But I really do believe it is worse for the invested spectators than it is for the debaters themselves.

I say that because I do not see two men who dislike each other. I see two men who sincerely believe they have the right ideas and who are passionate about their ideas and are, well, competitive to some extent. Within the game itself athletes who are good friends will rip each other’s heads off and yet have beers together that night. Do I believe they are that close? Nope. But, frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised, if re-elected, if the President would ask Governor Romney to be part of his cabinet.

All that said … I do not believe any of what I said about the athletes in the actual game itself makes it any easier on the invested spectators. Especially because it appears from the outside looking in that both wives seem to have special relationships with their husbands <which I wish more people would take note of … because it is also a measure of the man we are voting for> and uniquely have what is, frankly … an enviable bond.

I like the fact that Ann Romney, who has adult children, seems to try and have them around as often as possible. I envision it is a natural support group during some extremely difficult personally challenging moments as her husband is being challenged <note: I am not suggesting she is not a strong woman but rather I don’t care how strong you are this is a tough situation>. I think this says a lot about her as a mother and wife.

I like the fact Mrs. Obama doesn’t involve her younger daughters at debates <and, frankly, I hope she doesn’t let them watch them> but she seems to have her brother there with her … which says a lot about her as a mother, wife & the importance of family. I imagine it is one way to help her get through what she has to endure during a debate.

I guess I am writing this thought for two reasons.

First is that I admire Michelle and Ann for a variety of reasons but also to mention to people that the debate is not just about two candidates but extends out. What they say, heck, what we say, during and afterwards has impact deeper than I believe we can ever imagine <so maybe more of us should think about what we actually say about these candidates personally>. I cannot envision ever putting my own family through something like this.

Second is that while I love a good debate, and discussion, I couldn’t do what they are currently doing. I am no smarter than either of these two men and I know that if my wife started discussing how what the other person said attacked my character … I would immediately begin thinking about what I may have said that would have suggested a lack of integrity or honesty to them. And the possible discussion that is taking place in their living room. I couldn’t do it.

Negativity is a cruel sword to wield.

It demeans and diminishes. And not just the person you are attacking but those who have invested in that person.

Thought 3: math

This is about managing a deficit … or budgeting … or however you want to phrase this … and politician math <which is nothing like the stuff you learn in 3rd grade … it is sketchier … closer to say theoretical physics>.

You would think that doing the math with a revenue and expense ledger would be simple <what comes in equals what goes out>.

But. Here is a truth, a fact as it were, neither of the American candidates <or any politician in any country for that matter> will ever honestly tell you – the numbers do not add up on any national plan.


Read those words and weep.

Because there is a wacky variable called ‘the economy’ that impacts both. The better the economy the more revenue <taxes> and less expenses <government assistance>.

That said … neither the Romney plan <whatever it actually is> nor the Obama plan <whatever that is> mathematically works <there is a headline for you>.

Ah. Until you tell us how much you are assuming the economy will grow. There’s the rub.

Mitt is optimistic.

Barack is cautious.

To make the Romney math work <because he seems adamant about not increasing revenue> there needs to be a significant uptick in jobs, and the economy overall, oh, and quickly by the way.

To make the Obama math work <because he is adamant about attacking the deficit and is assuming the economy stays relatively slow> there can be modest economic growth.

There are other significant things I could use a comparison between the two but as a thought for the day I was just tired of the whole math thing.

I won’t tell anyone which path to like and subscribe to … but I would suggest everyone read a Wall Street Journal editorial column <Putting Fiscal Policies Under the Microscope” by David Wessel : http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10000872396390444657804578048433223646530.html> as they think about it. Basically this guy suggests politicians are always more optimistic with regard to the affect they can have on an economy than actually occurs.

Ok. Gotta get back to having more thoughts. Enjoy.

Enlightened Conflict