Enlightened Conflict

Tag Archives: indestructible as we believe

definition of love

June 15th, 2012

Oh.

Those darn tween/teens.  Saying such … well … mature thoughtful things.  Even about love (when all they are supposed to understand is puppy love).

Ok.

Sure.

They are just words … versus how they would actually deal with the situation. But. Regardless.  There are many adults who cannot articulate the concept of love as well as this.

“Before you can grow up, you must fall in love 3 times. Once you must fall in love with your best friend, ruining your friendship forever. This will teach you who your true friends are, and the fine line between friendship and more. Once you must fall in love with someone you believe to be perfect. You will learn that no one is perfect, and that you should never be treated as anything less than you deserve. And once you must fall in love with someone that is exactly like you. This will teach you about who you are, and who you want to be. And when you’re through with all that, you learn that the people who care about you the most are the ones that you hurt, and the ones that hurt you are the ones that needed you the most. But most of all, you learn that love is only a concept and is not something that can be defined, it is different to each and every person on this earth, knowing that everyone only wants to be loved.” -  xiloveyouxlaura on xanga

And.

She follows up her thoughts on love with words about letting go.

It reads as a cathartic post.

One in which she puts words on paper hoping that they rise up and actually become reality instead of just sitting there echoing inside her heart.

Once again.

Teen maturity.

Teen wisdom.

Teen seeing truth.

And, once again, I am not suggesting she is actually living the words … I am simply giving her credit for recognizing what she SHOULD know and do.

In my eyes … knowing what to do and feel is half the battle.

Sure.

The other half of the battle is a humdinger (actually doing it) … but maybe she will write something else some other day when she is older to prove to us once again that teens are smarter than we think.

As for smartness? “Letting go is growing up.” Well. About love or not that is an adult thought.

Here is how she talks to her fellow teens about ‘letting go’:

“To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn’t about winning or losing. It’s not about pride and it’s not about how you appear, and it’s not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn’t blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It’s not about giving in or giving up. Letting go isn’t about loss and it’s not about defeat. To let go is to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on. It is having an open mind & confidence in the future. Letting go is learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It’s about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path and set yourself free.”

Well done, Laura.

Well written.

Well thought out.

If I could tell her one thing, given what she has written and how she was able to articulate the thought behind love … that she has a better chance at real love at some point than a shitload of people in the world.

Oddly … teens could teach us adults (or at least remind us) some good things to remember about love … and the feeling.

Ok.

And lastly.

Something silly about love.

Something silly about what you would ever ask someone you love to do for you.

Silly … but mostly true.

I included this because after thinking about love … and what Laura said on her blog … I found this. And in it’s random silliness I found a diamond of truth. I believe this is what every man wants his children to think … and his soul mate to do for him in the end … (maybe by including this I am showing just one more example for why I have never been married) …

Burt:

Do you promise to let our daughter be fat or skinny or any weight at all? Because we want her to be happy, no matter what. Being obsessed with weight is just too cliché for our daughter.

Verona:

Yes, I do.

And do you promise, when she talks, you’ll listen? Like, really listen, especially when she’s scared? And that her fights will be your fights?

Burt:

I do.

And do you promise that if I die some embarrassing and boring death that you’re gonna tell our daughter that her father was killed by Russian soldiers in this intense hand-to-hand combat in an attempt to save the lives of 850 Chechnyan orphans?

Verona:

I do. Chechnyan orphans. I do. I do.

So.

Maybe I am best described as a realist with a touch of hopeless romantic.

Maybe all that really means is that I like to find people who value a romantic type of love love but believe a relationship must have a strong thread of a companion type of love.

Maybe I like to believe that we adults don’t have all the answers to love and that maybe, just maybe, teens can remind us what love is really all about. And that maybe there is a silly part of love that we should remember.

Or … maybe I am just being silly.

One thing I AM sure of?

You only need to find one who feels the same way.

One Hit Wonder Update: 46bliss

December 31st, 2009

So. Here’s the deal. I get a brief email from 46bliss (ok. not the band because…well…anyway…figure of speech.) Jack Freudenheim, songwriter, emailed after we posted the One Hit Wonders list. Just in case you don’t know who 46bliss is think pop/electronic (and I hate the word “dream,” but reviewers always seem to use it…ok…like maybe a Zero 7 or maybe Air type band). I put their song “The Way you Are” on my list.

First. He wasn’t begging to get off the infamous, or not so famous, list of my one hit wonders.

Second. But. He and the band are unfortunately going to have to be replaced on the list. My list of one hit wonder bands certainly had a number of bands with several really good songs (just one great one) and 46bliss was one of them.

Jack dropped me a note to suggest I listen to “In a Long Time” (which he noted was his favorite) and then mentioned I may like the newest CD Wish Me Away (to accommodate my peculiar tastes in music).

I admit. I missed “In a Long Time” which is on their second cd just called 46bliss (and has “The Way You Are” on it). The CD Wish me Away also has several more Postal Service-like songs (which I like).

46bliss is now officially off my one hit wonder list (but still check out “The Way You Are”).

Hey. Just a note. If you are into this type of music (think club electronic) like maybe a 4 Strings or Chicane or Andain, then you should know 46bliss also has two remix CDs which Jack didn’t point out but I found cruising on cdbaby. Worth adding to your collection if this is your thing.

Editorial note: If more artists did this type of thing (drop a quick note to bloggers and rambler writers like me) the music industry would be a lot better off image wise and sales wise.

my List of one hit wonders that often still make my playlist

December 28th, 2009

(Bear with me…a couple of them have at least one other good song and several are relatively young artists that have hope of shifting into “multiple hit wonders”)

Band of Horses “No One’s Gonna Love You“ – They may end up singing a better song but with such an unusual sound this song fits into their sweet spot perfectly. And the message with their sound makes it one of those songs that makes you want to put it number one on any mix tape you made for someone you loved.

Baby Animals “Painless“ – I don’t know where they came from or where they went. They only had one listenable song and this is it. Powerful driving song.

Lone Justice “Shelter” – Maria McKee was overall a wasted talent. This one song captures everything good about her and her talent. She is one of those singer songwriters you wonder what would have happened if she had found the “group” to play with.

Azure Ray “Displaced“ – Haunting. It has been used in TV shows several times. Maria Taylor, the lead singer has gone off and done some nice solo stuff but this song is the best.

It’s just a simple line
I can still hear it all of the time
If i can just hold on tonight
I know that nothing
Nothing survives
Nothing survives

I am displaced
I am displaced

The opening makes you stop. Listen. And think. You can’t ask for anything more in a song.

Edie Brickell & the New Bohemians “What I Am” – Philosophy is a dog’s smile and slippery rocks. I may never forgive her for marrying Paul Simon but this song is fun to listen to and makes you think a little.

Michelle Malone and Drag the River “Big Black Bag“ – Michelle Malone’s voice should have made it big. This song is bluesy and drags along with a slight harshness that makes it listenable over and over again.

46bliss. “The Way You Are” – the song was featured on Veronica Mars. When listening to it you figure you have to get their CD because they would be great. Don’t be fooled. This song is worth putting on any mix (and I keep hoping someone uses it for say a Military commercial or some real estate company or something). Not only was Veronica Mars a great TV show but it gave us this song.

Sneaker Pimps “6 Underground” – Everything else this group did is incredibly unlistenable. Then they go ahead and invite Nellee Hooper to mix and Kelli Dayton to sing and lo and behold it is the ‘one hit’ that is amazing to listen to.

Reubens Accomplice “This Town” – An unknown Arizona band who happened to write an outstanding song (that I am pretty sure never made it past college stations). The CD this song is on is pretty good but this song is the standout. It makes it onto my mp3 players all the time.

The Stabilizers “One Simple Thing” – Four minutes of non-stop hook and harmony. I believe this song comes from the only album they ever released (in 1990 or something like that). It’s kind of crazy they didn’t put anything else out. Great vocals, production and arrangement.

Ginny Owens “If You Want Me To” – She is Christian. And I would imagine this song is metaphorical for some god like thing. But if you ignore this and think of it as a love song it is pretty spectacular and thought provoking after a couple of beers thinking about someone you may love.

Mozella “Light years Away“ – “Shake my hand and say I’m about to screw you” in the second line. Doesn’t get any better.

Gorillaz “Feel Good Inc“ – I have a friend who calls this the laughing song. Nice mix of rap and Blur-like hooks.

Full Blown Rose “In the Light” – Wow. Killer female lead singer smoky voice. It is unfortunate the band couldn’t get out of its own way (egos and such) to make more music like this. I believe about the only place you can find this song is on the Daredevil soundtrack.

Jurassic 5 “What’s Golden“ – One of the most underappreciated bands of all time. They write rap with a message. Not angry. Not happy. Just to the point and fun to listen to. “What’s Golden” has a musical hook that people would kill for.

The Feeling “Sewn“ – Often called the ‘Na Na song’ it is beautifully crafted pop at its best. I am not sure I get all the words but I could sing along every day.

Filter “Hey Man Nice Shot“ – Everybody debates the reason this song was written but regardless it is about the way suicide is viewed and managed (glorified in all its horror) by media. And the impact suicides have on lives.

Gomez “See the World“ – I am relatively confident this band will add more hits to the list of songs they will do but for now this is the standout song. You kind of hope someone uses it in a critical movie soundtrack or a TV campaign so that it gets listened to.

Seether “Broken ” (with Amy Lee) – Dating at the time (Amy Lee of Evanescence and Shaun Morgan of Seether) the song is very non-Seether and the video is awesome.

Good Charlotte “River“ – Good Charlotte is a surprisingly good band with an odd reputation of goth and punk and whatever. Lots of glam to their image but they write incredible poppy hooks.

Pousette Dart Band “Amnesia“ – a Canadian band that never really made it big but they had a song called Amnesia that was played incessantly in New England bars in the late 70’s and would sound good today. One of the ultimate drinking bar songs that should never be forgotten.

Steve Forbert “Romeo’s Tune“ – odd folksy singer with one song that was catchy and great to listen to over a beer.

Frou Frou “Let Go” – Catchy. Upbeat. Great hook.

Alice Peacock “Some Things Get Lost” – Most of her songs are folksy but this one is somber, thoughtful and has the resonance to keep playing over and over. Captures the essence of finding “one of the ones” but at the wrong time. The lyrics capture life pretty well.

And last, but not least,

Mason Williams “Classical Gas” – C’mon. I cannot believe this song doesn’t make every one hit wonder list. Other than maybe American Pie I can’t think of any other song someone over say 28 or so can hear and immediately know what it is.

Enlightened Conflict