Enlightened Conflict

We often beat the crap out of ourselves

May 4th, 2017

beat the crap bad days people life






    Reminder: Everyone has bad days, you don’t have to be your best self everyday.


Everyone has days where they are sad, cranky, or lazy.

Don’t beat yourself up for being human, you’re ok. What counts is how you handle yourself and treat people on a regular basis.





I tend to believe everyone thinks Life does a fairly good job of beating the crap out of us almost every day. It tries to beat optimism out of us, hope out of us, positive out of us as well as … uhm … compassion, empathy, fellowship and almost everything good.

It doesn’t always succeed … but it surely tries to beat the crap out of us.


And, yet, despite knowing all that … we still beat the crap out of ourselves.


It is kind of a little nuts when you think about it.



Its nuts because most people don’t set out every day thinking “boy, I hope I have a bad day and do some bad shit.” Most of us set out each day with the intention to do something good … not bad. Most people do the best they can.


And, yeah, sometimes that best isn’t that good … or maybe just not as good as our good really is. But that doesn’t mean that simply because we have a bad day or are cranky or even a little lazy that we still don’t do something useful and, in general, conduct ourselves in an honorable fashion.



“The purpose of life is not to be happy.

It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”


Ralph Waldo Emerson





beat the crap love myself

I am not suggesting you have to sit around and say “I love myself.”  All I am saying is that you don’t have to beat the crap out of yourself for being human.


You have some bad days.


You have some days when you are cranky and not particularly pleasant to be around.


You have some days when you don’t want to get out of bed in the morning … but you do … and everyone around you wishes you hadn’t.


You have some days when you do not feel energetic … may even feel lazy … and you don’t really get shit done that day.


None of those things make you bad.

None of those things make it worth beating the crap out of yourself.




“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”


Ralph Waldo Emerson




Days come and go, opportunities come and go and your ‘bad’ comes and goes.

That’s the way Life goes. You can beat the crap out of yourself if you want but it seems like, if you think about what I just wrote, you would pretty much conclude that even your bad days while they could be better could also certainly be worse.



That’s called Life and that’s called ‘being human.’beat the crap poo poo people on you


Let’s face it.

Every day someone is gonna point out you are having a bad day … and you may not even being have a bad day for fucks sake … it just may be a bad moment.


Let’s face it.

Every day some jerkwad is gonna look at you as if you had done something wrong even when you do something right.


Let’s face it.

About the only time someone isn’t going to be giving you shit is if you act like a robot … and even then someone is going to bitch about you being ‘too consistent’ and too much like a robot.





beat the crap situation define 1

I have used a couple Emerson quotes/thoughts today because  he abhorred how society tried to grind everyone into a simplistic repetitive cycle of ‘expectations, reward & recycle.’


He abhorred how society beat the crap out of people their individuality so that they turned into something that they weren’t born to be.


He abhorred the fact the more we got the crap beaten out of us by society & Life beat the crap situation define 2the more difficult it was to break free from the grip of what society expected and demanded of us.


No one said that being yourself was easy.

And it seems like beating the crap out of yourself doesn’t make it any fucking easier.


Everyone has bad days. What counts is how you handle yourself and treat people on a regular basis.


So stop beating the crap out of yourself … that is Life’s job.

life is too short to be angry with yourself for being human

October 8th, 2016




“Some days you just have to say ‘fuck it, I did what I could today’ and just let go of all the stuff you wanted to do.

Life is too short to be angry with yourself for being human. “



(via thissadghost)


“Compassion directed toward oneself is true humility.”


Simone Weil



“Honestly, you just take a deep breath and say fuck it.”


Johnny Knoxvill



tug of war jonothan marsh

Perfection, or the pursuit of perfection, may be one of the biggest mental challenges that anyone – business or in Life – we face psychologically.



It is a tug of war mind game between wanting to do your best and measuring what your best looked like. this tug of war brings out the absolute fucking worst in managers. Leaders, businesses and individuals.

Suffice it to say … this is the absolute worst game in Life & business.


While I think about this often, as I think most people do, I can say it reared its truly ugly head again as I read a sadly insipid article on Ted Ideas written in some pseudo intellectual vein with regard to cause & affect <in that a negative action will have negative ripples you are responsible for … even if it is not immediate> and that more people should do and think positive thoughts because it causes more positive ‘effects’ <ripples> which you will also be responsible for.


Yeah … the ‘net net’ is be positive and you will be responsible for positive things.




That is certainly … bullshit.


Our actions ripple.


And the whole idea that if we have a positive intent and think positive thoughts that all the ripples will impact people positively is … well … absurd. Maybe even a little nuts.


Many of our actions do not have an immediate effect.


And, frankly, encouraging people to invest gobs of energy suggesting ‘positive intent has some positive affect you cannot even imagine’ makes the whole pursuit of perfection take on an additional level of absurdity <which will inevitably only encourage non positive thoughts with regard to self and peals of laughter in hallways of businesses around the world>.



I am all for being positive.

And I am absolutely all for positive intent.


Unfortunately Life and business is more likely to judge me on … well … outcome.


So encouraging people to think that approaching everything positively means you need not worry or even think twice about the action you took ,or are about to take, is stupid.


This absolutely crazy article blamed a systemic lack of awareness with regard to action & reaction as the reason they … well … “we want you to know, that we are all being affected by these actions, whether it is you who has made the decision or not, because the actions that they take are so negative, the reactions will be extremely negative and far reaching. You will be affected, directly.”


Good god almighty. People actually believe this crap?


Negativity and negative reactions are far more likely to occur if you have a smile on your face and say positive things and take a stupid action which creates a bad affect.


It is absolutely correct to state that every action, no matter how small, has an effect.

It is absolutely correct to state that the effect may not be immediate <but inevitable>.


But, as with everything, not all actions – little or small — are created equal.


And this is where that whole fucking perfection comes into play.

Pursuit of perfection more often than not adds on a layer of ‘fear’ to choices <and the inevitable actions>.


I would suggest that how we manage our ‘fear choices’ have a larger impact in general as they ripple out.

I say this because our fear choices can often represent the best, and the worst, in us from a behavior standpoint, a character standpoint and even a skill standpoint.


I will also suggest that attaching “be positive” to “fear choices/moments’ is a task of fools.




Pursuit of perfection, even if you are absurdly positive, makes the effect of your action almost one big frickin’ lottery.


Suffice it to say that even the most well thought mature choices may go awry.


That doesn’t make you any less perfect.

That doesn’t make you any less positive <or more negative>.

That simply makes you human.


You control what you can and recognize that most of it all is out of your control.damage-control




You make your choices.

You endure the consequences.

You move on.


Life is too short to be angry with yourself for being human.

Enlightened Conflict