Enlightened Conflict

Tag Archives: perception

All Dollop-ed up with No Place to Go

September 27th, 2010

Well.
(this is how Bruce starts a lot of his posts, and I didn’t want to startle anyone since I’m just “guest-ing”)

Is it just me, or are women’s magazines really just ONE magazine with different covers?  Granted, there are a few exceptions out there (Oprah readers, just stand down…), but after a week cooped up with the world’s worst sinus infection and every magazine I could find, I can confirm that many, many, MANY women’s magazines are indeed little clones of each other.

Let’s run down the list.  Health news:  same.  Beauty news:  same.  Fashion highlights:  same.  Diet news:  same.   Pick up any June issue and I bet you find a “summer beach read” list.  With the same books!  Try November’s “stay on your diet for the holidays and gift giving guide” or January’s “get your life organized for pete’s sake” double jumbo issue.  And don’t get me started on the “get ready for your summer bikini” madness.

Another weird thing:  They use the same pep-talk-y happy/upbeat vibe, the same choppy sentence structure, the same weird words — seriously, when was the last time you used “dollop” in a sentence?

It’s bugging me.  Are these insanely narrow topics truly the only things women are interested in hearing about (month after month after month)?  Is my brain degenerating, insisting I consume magazine “junk food” to keep up with my cheddar cheese Goldfish habit?

So.
(another Bruce-ism to keep you comfy…)

In the true spirit of American protest, let’s send a letter:

Dear Clueless Editor People,

As  loyal readers who (for reasons unknown to herself or others) continues to plunk down $5 every month to read the EXACT SAME THING in every women’s magazine (seriously, how do you DO that?), and who are slightly ashamed to admit they read enough of your publications to make this request, we nevertheless hereby request an immediate BAN on the following:

ALL WEIRD WORDS
Slather, dollop, scrunch, quench, toss, slick, slake, frazzle, tresses (also “mane”), pop-of-color, sparkle, glide, frizz, spritz, dust, glam, smooth, sprinkle, glow, silky, drench, stress-busting, sun-kissed, (clearly this is a partial list…)

SNOOZER TOPICS
- Lose weight (in a second, a minute, whatever)
- Dress slimmer (in case the previous topic doesn’t work?)
- Just 5 minutes a day for “instant” results (for smooth skin, brighter eyes, better health, blah blah)
- Best beauty products (strange how the list CHANGES every month)
- Have better sex  (well…maybe this one is ok…)
- How to attract a boyfriend/spouse
- How to relate to your boyfriend/spouse
- How to break up with your boyfriend/spouse
- How to relate to your ex-boyfriend/ex-spouse
- Look younger now (!)
- Be happy now (!)
- Be friends with the mom/dad/family/in-law/children/best friend you hate
- Buy these crazy clothes in non-matching combinations no one would ever, ever wear out of the house.
- Pair the crazy clothes with shoes no sane, life-loving person would put on her feet
- Identify with all the 16 year old, size 0 models who do NOT look like any version of you who ever lived outside some alcohol-induced delusion.
- Etc. (you KNOW what we’re talking about!)

We realize this involves re-thinking 90% of your content, but zillions of women will thank you for not considering them lemmings headed toward the cliff whose happiness and self-confidence depends on losing 10 pounds in a day, looking 10 years younger right now, or having their thirst “slaked”, their moisturizer “slathered”, and their lip gloss “slicked”.

Sincerely,
The Women of America

And there you have it people.

You know, I really could be a modern day crusader — fighting for the right of smart women everywhere to choose and enjoy well-written, intelligent content.  I’m thinking I’m that one sheep in the Far Side cartoon, shouting out to the flock, “Wait! Wait!  Listen to me!… We don’t HAVE to be just sheep…”

On the other hand, I gotta go finish reading “Walk off your Jiggle” now.  Plus the Fall apple pie recipes are out and my cheddar cheese Goldfish just might make a nice crust.

Think + Minds Get Enlightened = Qatar

March 3rd, 2010

Huh? (Be prepared. This is a mini rant on my own ignorance)

So. The Qatar Foundation has a marketing campaign called Think (“unlocking human potential” is the theme). Immediately I thought I would be re-writing my Nigeria re-branding rant using Qatar as an example. Qatar? Open minded? Schools for fresh ideas? C’mon. It’s a Muslim country.

Uh oh. There’s that damn ignorance popping its head up again.

So I did some searching.

First. Idiot that I am, I needed a map to even be sure where Qatar is. Kind of slightly embarrassing.

Second. Yes. Qatar is an Arab emirate, primarily Muslim, on the northeasterly coast of the Arabian Peninsula bordered by Saudi Arabia to the south; otherwise surrounded by the Persian Gulf.

Here’s the deal. They have an incredible 83% literacy rate. (depending on the numbers you use…USA has an 86% literacy rate). The Qatar Academy, member of Qatar Foundation, recently welcomed leading UK children’s poet and author Nick Toczek to give a presentation of his poetry. Ok. I didn’t expect that either.

Ignorance is a scary thing.

The fact I couldn’t mentally pinpoint Qatar on a map without a physical one is scary. The fact for some odd reason my knee jerk reaction to this advertisement was “wow, how open minded for a Muslim country.”

Scary reminder for me how much I don’t know.

It reminds me that the biggest war being fought is not in Afghanistan, Africa or Israel. It is within the individual. It is the war against ignorance. What I know could probably fit in a thimble.

The sooner all of us recognize that (excluding the people who aren’t that ignorant) the sooner we may have a chance globally.

Ignorance is debilitating.

Conversely, curiosity is surprisingly energizing.

It facilitates debate and dialogue and yes sometimes conflict.

We need to remind ourselves that possibly the two greatest libraries in the history of the world resided in Muslim geography – Alexandria and Cordoba (yup. Muslims controlled the majority of Spain for several hundred years…and they had an open society inclusive of Christians and Jews).

I am not defending the religion of Islam (because I honestly don’t care what an individual’s religion is). What I am fighting is ignorance.

So. Here’s the deal. I am using Qatar as an example of perception versus reality. And the fact my ignorance almost made me look quite silly. Thank God curiosity came to save the day.

In the end I guess, despite the fact I just conducted a rant on my own ignorance, this little learning on Qatar has reminded me of three things:

I need a world atlas

90 percent of Muslims (ok, a big number) are not extremists and have always been students of knowledge

Never trust perception (seek reality). Or maybe better said…Always trust Curiosity.

domino’s Pizza turnaround: Oh, We Taste Better Now.(yeah. right.)

January 18th, 2010

Ok. So a friend of mine sent me a YouTube video talking about Domino’s “pizza turnaround.”

Now. I am sure they have a boatload of research (and they show some random stuff on the video) showing that “hey. People think our pizza tastes good now”.

Oh.

And it sucked before.

So the marketing agency stands up and says “hey, let’s tell them we don’t suck anymore.”

Oops. What I meant to say was “hey, let’s tell them our pizza doesn’t suck anymore.”

Or this situation could be the client just kept stamping his (or her) foot saying “we have improved our taste and we need to tell people!!” (But I haven’t seen Crispin – their marketing agency – bullied into anything in awhile so that scenario runs a far second).

This is the kind of marketing stuff that makes me nuts. Or makes me laugh. Or just makes me wonder if we are really serious about understanding marketing (and the fact that while we always want to talk about ourselves … oh … and sometimes – most times – talking about ourselves just doesn’t matter to people outside the organization). Hey. I am all about internal organization alignment (and I believe this YouTube thing is pretty effective at telling everyone in the organization “hey, we are improving so the entire franchisee organization can be more successful.”)

But. Consumers, the people who buy the stuff, are a different can of worms (not that I believe Domino’s pizza has ever tasted like a can of worms). Taste always shows up as “most important” in research. Unfortunately tastes are discerning and difficult to understand. And telling people “we taste great” is like saying “boy, aren’t I great looking.” (and you look somewhere between Quasimodo and Homer Simpson).

In addition. Taste is relative to the category (a truffle is judged differently than a chewable vitamin). For example, I once had a sports nutrition bar client who kept saying we need to tell them how great we taste.

“Research says our product really does taste good!” Hmmm … well … yeah … maybe compared to other sports nutrition bars.

Hey. When you are at the bottom of the hole anywhere is up. Or. As a past client said to me once “so. You are telling me we are now the tallest midget.”

Domino’s. Heck. I didn’t think it tasted bad. It tasted like delivery pizza. Neither good nor bad. Suck or not suck. It filled a need when I needed it. Unfortunately now they are trying to change my taste perceptions. This is a slippery slope. To say you have improved taste there has to be a demonstrable taste difference (think Tab versus Diet Coke or maybe Gatorade to Tang).

And all these bullshit campaigns on television at the moment where “we brought whatever it is into the restaurant and no one could tell the difference” (not Domino’s someone else but I can’t remember who the heck they are) are kinda ludicrous. Of course people can’t tell the difference. They are in an environment that is affecting their perceptions <and even their taste perceptions>.

Anyway. I will stop.

Taste is like great art. I know it when I see it. And, oh by the way, one person “gets” Picasso while someone else thinks it is the silliest thing they have ever seen. Taste is the same thing.

Enlightened Conflict