Enlightened Conflict

impatience and choices

March 5th, 2013

“Impatience kills quickly.” –  Katerina Stoykova KlemerImpatient Bird

 

“Mental clarity ain’t for the faint of heart.”-  Katerina Stoykova Klemer

 

Well.

I believe we could all become more adept at making choices.  Because, if anything, we seem to have become worse at making thoughtful choices. Heck. Maybe even ANY choices.

Now.

I am all for, and a huge proponent of not dicking around <the technical term for ‘wasting time overthinking’> when a choice needs to be made.

But there is a difference between making speedy decisions and making a decision because speed is the main criteria.

Of course … this is festina lente.

Make haste slowly.

And it is becoming more important to think this way because the fear of choices … leading to making the most obvious or most popular or the most expedient <speediest> … is plaguing not only our personal lives but more importantly the business world.

Fortunately there are scientists at work trying to figure out why.

In the meantime Psychologist Barry Schwartz has put forward an interesting (and slightly disturbing) theory about choices and happiness.

 

“The more options there are, the easier it is to regret anything at all that is disappointing about the option that you chose.” – Barry Schwartz

 

Mr. Schwartz calls it the paradox of choice.

It seems the more choices we have, the less likely we are to make a decision, which ultimately makes us unhappy.  Schwartz suggests that choice has made us not freer but more paralyzed and, ultimately, not happier but more dissatisfied.

Barry Schwartz studies the link between economics and psychology.

I found it interesting because he actually suggests <kind of> that having more options doesn’t increase our overall satisfaction <benefit + happiness>.

Here is his talk on Ted:

 

http://www.ted.com/talks/barry_schwartz_on_the_paradox_of_choice.html

 

impatient patienceMaking choices … having the mental clarity to do so in a typically impatient world is made more difficult by the fact many of us begin by thinking of regret. Yup. The fear of choosing one thing before you even choose the other. All of this being tempered by the “now factor” <I need to make a choice now>.

I call this the internalization of opportunities/costs/loss.  Or maybe it is simply dwelling on the benefits of the next best options that have been forgone by a choice <losing something, albeit even speculatively, that you never had>.

Every choice has opportunity costs.

And since we live in a world of infinite possibilities, it’s so hard to figure out what to do, when, and where.

If you start thinking this way … well … you begin living in a world strewn with hypotheticals.

If I do A, then this will happen.impatient and irritating

But what if I do B?

Will I be happier?  Will I get back more? Will everyone around me be more satisfied?

Or what about C? That looks good.

But someone suggested D.

You get it. There are 26 letters in the alphabet and while most of us stop way before Z … even getting to D can be maddening.

It seems like the world is your oyster … everything is possible … but you don’t take advantage of any opportunities because you’re not sure of what’s best.

To make matters worse, more choices tend to raise our expectations: we think more choice = better quality.

Anyway.

I use scientific advice to suggest that there are some happy few people who look at each choice discreetly. More choices do not equal better quality to them. They do not need the ‘more’ they simply need the context. These people drive us crazy because they do not typically offer us choices <we may like ‘more’ but they offer ‘less’> but rather they offer us ‘the’ choice.

And it is often a good choice.

The best? Shit. Is there really a best? There are most often better choices than others … and they identify the better of the better.

This is typically where we end up screwing up the value of these people. Because we want ‘more choice’ and they want ‘right choice’ <and move along>.

We are impatient humans … yet we always want more … and we seem to always want it all in less time.

It is an ongoing daily struggle.

Let’s get personal first. Daily Life.

This is about how most of us are not good at assessing ROC <return on choice>  the return on whatever we have invested in making the choice as well as once the choice is made.

We suck at this.

There is the investment in developing the choices <and however many we need to feel like we have enough to assess … assuming that is a finite number>.

There is the investment in actually assessing the choices <better, betterest & best … assuming a best can be actually identified>.

There is the investment in the actual choice.

Oh.

And there is investment post-choice.  Yup. Even if we choose the rightest choice we either have angst over whether it was the best or we have angst hangover from the choice process.

Ok.

Let’s go business next.

I call this the paradox of organizational choice.

The end result is the same as Schwartz’s <too many choices creates diminished value>. But the path to the result is different <if not just as paradoxical>.

Here is that paradoxical business organization logic path.

Faster good choices are better.

Few good “choicers” <people who can do the first thought> available.

Many within organization believes they are good ‘choicers’  <and permitting them to make choices has a paradox effect of building their personal self-esteem as ‘good choicers’ while actually implementing less than optimal choices thereby encouraging poor choice making>.

Organizations, to be more efficient & effective, should drive choices <all> to the select few good ‘choicers’

Unselected majority ultimately grumpy <but organization actually benefits>.

Wow.

That is not only a paradox but a Gordian knot <or in layman’s terms … ‘playing Twister with your organization’>.

 

Look.

All I am suggesting is that some people are really good at making ‘impatient choices.’ They have that mental clarity that actually improves in impatient moments … and the maturity to slow down the moment and say ‘let’s not be so quick to make haste’ <and actually be right about it>.

But not everyone is like this.

And, in fact, they are a minority.

impatience clarityI imagine the optimal world would be to funnel all choices through this minority.

Imagine being the key word … because that is an imaginary world. We couldn’t do it.

If your life, or your business, has one or two … use them, preserve them, foster them … and trust them <you will go farther than you ever imagined>.

If you do not have the luxury of having one of them around <which by the way … is an entire article on how most of us suck at accepting someone is better at this than we are> you have to learn to manage impatience. Yeah. Easier said than done.

I imagine the point here is by acknowledging and accepting the issue gives you the opportunity to actually deal with the issue.

 

And in the end … organizational impatience leads to the permitting of poor choices <and a quicker death of a thousand cuts>.

Personal impatience in choice making probably just leads to general unhappiness <kind of a different thousand little cuts>.

Dealing with impatience … and balancing impatience & patience ? … well … it ain’t for the faint of heart.

now

October 8th, 2012

“… I see NOW is my moment. Taking the time to listen for the answers to my questions. I guess NOW is always our moment even if it is only etching out one little piece of the bigger picture.

Mindy Smith

People are always reflecting. I guess we do it because we are … well … human. We do it not because we second guess or just want to beat the crap out of ourselves  but more likely with the intent to improve ourselves in some form or fashion. We reflect to move forward better.

I came across this quote from musician Mindy Smith.

While musicians are always reflecting upon their creativity with an eye to “what comes next” I imagine all of us do this thought, and thinking, in our own way. It is not just a creative process thing. It is a Life thing. But this thought really stood out for me because it is about now, and listening, and questioning … and a recognition that now is ALWAYS our moment … if we elect it to be.

This doesn’t mean every moment is a ‘NOW’ moment but rather you can make any moment a ‘NOW’ moment of you choose to <I hope that makes sense>.

That is a really really big thought.

I know many people struggle with the concept of maximizing each moment. I know I do. You kind of want to but kind of also believe it is not very practical. And then you also wonder if you are choosing the ‘right’ moments to maximize. It can be a tiring process especially in reflection.

Mindy <I think> is suggesting you just find ‘now’ moments. And in that moment, for that brief time, it is an important moment because YOU stopped, and took the time to listen for answers to your questions. The moment was important because you made it so.

That is an inspiring thought. It is a free-ing thought. And a hopeful thought.

But. Here is where she really inspires.

I believe a lot of people diminish a reflective moment as unimportant because they are … well … simply reflective <and not active or ‘action-oriented>. You didn’t really ‘do’ something tangible.

She suggests each moment etches, one little piece at a time, the bigger picture.

This is a really really nice quote.

But it is an even nicer thought.

I have always liked her music <and loved her voice> but this thought she shares is spectacular.

This quote comes from a wonderfully articulated, very personal, thought on her new song “Closer”:

“Many times in life’s journey, we find ourselves disoriented. For me, I make destructive decisions that can distract me from my ultimate goal. I think I am making the right choices and staying close to my agenda but I just run off course. In ‘Closer,’ I see the North Star as the prize. One that I am always getting so close to but unable to grab a hold of and then it eludes me. Personally this song paints a picture of how I see my musical career and that I see NOW is my moment. Taking the time to listen for the answers to my questions. I guess NOW is always our moment even if it is only etching out one little piece of the bigger picture.”

I think it is a thought all of us could relate to.

(note: I am going to write about it but her new cd, called Mindy Smith, is a wonderful compilation of music and song writing)

echoes in eternity

March 8th, 2012

“what we do in life will echo in eternity” – Maximus (in Gladiator)

Because I just used this quote with regard to myself, and project global generation, I thought I would complete the thought with a full post. I kind of wrote about this thought several years ago: http://brucemctague.com/moment-to-do-the-extraordinary

I called it ‘moment to do the extraordinary’ using a quote from Admiral Collingwood at Trafalgar. Regardless.

This is kind of a simple thought (with complex ramifications).

Our actions impact others.

Oh.

And they live on.

Sometimes for eternity. Surely not all will <whew. thank god> … but some will.

And ‘what we do’ isn’t just a reflection of who we are (although it certainly reflects upon your character and how you are judged) but this is bigger than a ‘me’ type thought.

This is a “more than me” type thought.

The kind of thought that makes us think about choices and what we elect to do … because … well .., what we do echoes in eternity.

In one short sentence Maximus suggests that the way we live in time affects our present … and determines our eternity.

He suggests what we do in the present will affect not who we are and what will happen but also our future … beyond death.

Ultimately he suggests that you … well … matter.

That your thoughts matter.

That your choices matter.

That your actions matter.

And not only within this moment. But in the moments which end up in eternity.

It IS a simple thought. Your life matters not just to you but to others.

So it is simple with complex ramifications. What you do is up to you, but your life matters to the degree that you choose it to matter. All this type of thinking translates into an awareness that Life means something…when you are aware of it in a conscious way (i.e., you pay attention to it).

But it is bigger than the ‘here & now’ life you are living … this quote suggests that this makes our decisions infinitely more important than just the here and now.

Anyway. In eight relatively little words he suggests a lot … and it may seem complex <or maybe I am just making it complex> but the meaning of life is actually quite simple in that it is about choice.

Life is a conscious choice … or series of choices … on your part in that you get to choose your present, future and eternity ‘you.’ No one else. Just you. Yup. Your life, its meaning, is up to you.

In the end I imagine this is all about realizing ‘a moment’ really can matter … if you want it to.

And while you are limited in what you can see <timewise> at any point you should, and most of us do, have a sense of eternity. In that there is life, and lives, after us. And in some way … sometimes small … sometimes big … we will echo within that Life.

Maximus is correct … what you do in life does indeed echo in eternity.

Simple as that.

only one life

September 26th, 2011

“You get one life. It goes on. Until it doesn’t.” – anonymous

So.

This post isn’t going to be about ‘making the most of each moment’ or taking chances or ‘making memories’ or any of that crap (of which I have written about before).

This is just about life.  Yours.  Mine.  Anyone’s.

We get one (unless you believe in reincarnation but let’s focus on what you know you have right now).

I cannot think of anyone who doesn’t want to live their life to the fullest.

So. The big question is why do so few of us actually do so?

It almost seems like standard operating loop to live our life day after day just to survive.

Wake up.

Go to work.

Deal with people (the annoying ones as well as the ones who we laugh with).

Go home and do the tasks that “need to be done.”

Go to sleep.

(and then the doom loop gets rewound)

Think about it. The truth is that it is quite easy to wind up missing your life in what seems like a 24/7 world.

But.

You can cut the loop. Anyone can. You gotta think attitude.

Because, yes, I do believe it is all about you & your attitude with life (rather than life dictating your actions or ‘how full is full’).

And if I am right … than ‘fullest’ is really about choices.

And if I am right that is reality, well, its about time we realized life is about making choices.

Not good ones or bad ones. Just making them.

The alternative?  Not making them (ok … that was obvious).

The outcome of that ‘not making them’ alternative?

Staying in the miserable job (one that makes you miserable).

Living in an unhealthy life.

Gosh.  It can even just be doing what you are currently doing … and doing it over and over.

I won’t suggest that this is staying in a rut. It may simply be a smooth uneventful path. Minimal bumps on the road.  So smooth it just seems to slip by.

Isn’t uneventful, or not bumpy, good?  Hmmmmmmmmm. The truth? Nope.

It may feel that it should be when you look at the stressful times and the difficult times, but (if we are honest) the stress and struggles are made mostly because we, you, me, anyone did nothing.

And life did something at the same time.

A generalization?  Sure. We can all find and gladly point out exceptions to what I just wrote.

My advice (at the moment)? Ignore those exceptions.  Or put them off to the side.  Look at what’s left. And be honest.

And take note of how many of those struggles were of your own fault. Not because you did something. But rather because you DIDN’T do something.

We have one life.

One life to do.

One life to do what you want to do.

And when it ends, whenever that may be, no matter how short or how long, it is done. No more doing.

It is very very true that life is never too short or too long (hence the reason I typically dislike “life is short”).

It is what it is.

And life value, how it is ultimately measured, is not by time but rather what you do with that time.

With all that said then why does it seem that despite a great job, nice clothes and some valued (not necessarily valuable but valued nonetheless) possessions many people are still miserable and unhappy with their life?

Well. I tend to believe underlying unhappiness remains because we have lost sight of life and the real choices and the truth that life is about what you do (not what you have to show for what you have done).

And maybe because we forget that truth it seems like we all spend a boatload of our time living our lives running after material things or just completing tasks or getting medals (to show proof).

And all that running is aimed at acquiring fame, power and prestige in this world (maybe another way to say it is that we run  around seeking ‘acknowledgement’ rather than self enlightenment) because we believe within one, or all, of those things lies happiness.

Look. I am not saying material possessions or prizes/medals are not important (because they can play an important role in self esteem) but what I am trying to say is that maybe people are too mindful of these things and forget to live their life to its fullest.

Living life to the fullest is a choice.

It is a lifestyle choice.

It is a choice you make by enabling the changes in your life.

It is a choice to not be discouraged.

It is a choice to not be afraid of making mistakes.

It is a choice to leave the seemingly comfortable.

It is a choice to seek some ‘unknown’ in your life.

It is a choice to maintain the search for your purpose in life.

Oh.

Lastly. Life is about making the choice to believe in yourself.

Ok. let me clear on that last choice.

I do not believe that by simply believing in yourself that ‘anything is possible.’ Cause, well, you never know.

What I do know is that anything could possibly happen if you give yourself a chance and believe in yourself.

You have no chance if you don’t make the choice.

You have no chance if you don’t believe in yourself.

Sure. Life is chockfull of a shitload of setbacks (many of which are self inflicted – self doubt, self criticism and past failures).

However difficult, annoying and hard our journey towards our purpose and goals, we always need to remember one very simple thing.

We have but one life.

No do overs.

And it only goes on until it doesn’t.

And you have a choice on what you want to do with it before it is over.

In the end? You get just one life.

when an Immutable Law is broken does it make a sound?

March 15th, 2010

So. In 1993 a pretty smart couple of guys wrote a book called The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing (the smart guys were Al Ries and Jack Trout).

Here are the first two of The 22 Immutable Laws:

1. It is better to be first than it is to be better.

2. If you can’t be first in a category, set up a new category you can be first in.

Uh oh. Apple has mastered making these laws unimmutable. (I am concerned that is not a word).

I am not sure people have noticed (because I believe when you break one of these laws they don’t make any sound) but Apple has been quite successful by not being first at anything they have done nor created any new categories. They have possibly become the absolute best “follower” in the history of business.

Apple is regularly voted the most innovative company in the world. But I am not sure that is the award they should be winning. Its inventiveness takes a peculiar form in that it is “renovation” rather than building. They should be voted the best “renovator” company in the world (boy, that sounds like a shitty award to win, huh?).

What do I mean? Rather than developing entirely new product categories Apple is excellent at taking existing ideas which may not be optimally implemented and showing the rest of the world how to implement them in a much more appealing way.

It has already done this three times.

The Apple Macintosh

In 1984 Apple launched the Macintosh. It was not the first graphical, mouse-driven computer, but it employed these concepts in a useful, pleasant appearance product (they kind of not only understand the usability function, but they also understood that their product – most often seen as a desk accessory – was a fashion statement for the user).

first generation ipod

In 2001, came the iPod. It was not the first digital-music player, but it was simple and elegant, and carried digital music into the mainstream (and once again they understood the “fashion” aspect of the product).

iPhone

In 2007 Apple launched the iPhone. It was not the first smart-phone, but Apple succeeded where other handset makers had failed, making mobile internet access and software downloads a mass-market phenomenon (and fashionable again).

As competitors rushed to respond to Apple’s approach, the computer, music and telecom industries were transformed.

iPad

Here comes their fourth attempt at renovation. The iPad — a thin, tablet-shaped device with a ten-inch touch-screen. Hey. Who knows if it will be successful. Apple has certainly had their share of failures but even in their failures they have been spectacular.

But this isn’t a post on whether they are good at these things. This is about Apple breaking Immutable Laws and being good at something else – Renovation.

So. In the end I believe I like, really like (although I don’t own an i-pod and I hate Macs), Apple because they are a renovator and not a builder (sort of like me but they are bigger and better than I am).

As a great ‘Renovator,’ Apple has this innate ability to identify the essence of an existing or emerging product category, identify the parts (or pieces…whatever) and then put usability at the core of these pieces, making them famous with a really cool façade feature. Somebody called it “re-hashing half baked concepts” but I call it Renovation.

Apple is the ultimate Renovator.

So. With all that said…I think that stupid sounding award I suggested earlier is a valuable award. And nothing to be embarrassed by. Being the best at something is nothing to be embarrassed by.

I vote for Apple as Renovator of the Year if not the century.

life as a renovator (versus a builder)

January 21st, 2010

So.

In business there is a significant difference between having the skill to actually build something … and having the skill to fix something.

Me? I guess I have always seen myself as a fixer. Or a renovator. I have always been pretty good <at least … very comfortable> stepping in to manage a business where maybe the business has become stagnant (the organization itself, sales, ideas, whatever). Maybe stepping in when someone well thought of, who has been in a position for a long period of time has left. It is most typically a place and time where shaking the etch-a-sketch was needed (although it may not be liked/appreciated by all at the moment).

Some guy named Pareto (an Italian sociologist) suggested there are two types of people.

The Speculator and the Rentier.

The Speculator is constantly preoccupied with the possibilities of new combinations. Rentiers are more conservers of the routine … he also calls them Stockholders.

While I am not sure I agree life is as simple as he suggests, I do agree different people think different ways … and inevitably they have different skill sets <despite the fact many business people would like to think they are good at everything>.

Me? It is absolutely, clearly, in my DNA to be “constantly preoccupied with possibilities of new combinations.” Now. That can make me a pain in the ass to work with.

I vividly remember the time a mentor, and a manager I loved working for, once said to me “sometimes you are a pain in the ass, but I am glad you are my pain in the ass.”

And in liking this ‘new combinations’ concept that means the more pieces available the better I am. By pieces I mean perceptions, attitudes, strengths, weaknesses, things they may have even forgotten they were good at or had years ago and just need to be brought off the shelf and used again.

By the way … I have written something called “thoughtful reimaging” that captures what I believe about that process.

Anyway. I enjoy taking existing pieces and rearranging them. But to be a good <effective> Renovator I guess I have to be good, or at least comfortable, at making choices.

If you have a hundred pieces you cannot use them all.

New combinations means sifting through everything that is there … prioritizing and analyzing … and it will mean using some old and some new and discarding some being used in the present. Maybe what people have liked (or what has worked for me) is that I don’t like to throw everything out (mostly because I tend to believe there are people a lot smarter than me, and one or two of them had probably thought about this situation before I came along) and I don’t really like – or think about – putting my own thumbprints on something.

In the end I just like to reshape thing a little so that maybe people think it’s bigger and better <or more efficient and effective> than it really is … but implementing it is pretty easy to do because it’s just not that new.

<note: communicating this is an entirely different post … because I believe so many people want to use buzzword bullshit to imply greater/bigger/magical/NEW … that thinking simplistically & pragmatically like this gets stalled in cynicism and lack of understanding>

I had a business associate tell me once after I told him all of this that there should be no reason why I shouldn’t be good at building because the thought process underpinnings were exactly the same. I agreed theoretically … but noted this was more about mindset. I would suck as an entrepreneur. I just don’t have the head for it. And I guess I just can’t cross that mental block that would make it possible for me create something from scratch.

As I wrap this thought up I think about the ‘pain in the ass’ comment.

This isn’t like home building renovation. This is about business. So being a Renovator sometimes means having a little lack of subtlety in your approach so that people understand that the renovation has to be discernible to make a difference. Not whole scale (as noted earlier I do like to take some old and some new) but discernible in order to make a difference. One foot in the past, or present and one foot in the future. It takes a lot of pragmatism … but also a good dose of futurism <which some people call potential or hope>.

So. If you visit my LinkedIn site you will see a past client says:

“If you don’t want to be “nudged” into new ideas and creative solutions – don’t ever call Bruce McTague. If, however, you want to look at things through a different telescope and find 3-dimensional ideas you’ve never considered, call Bruce now. Not tomorrow. He’ll make you uncomfortable, but I firmly believe that if the idea doesn’t make you uneasy, it’s not a big idea. Easy to work with, but always stretching your mind, Bruce is a true business Partner. You’ll grow working with Bruce.”

I guess we renovators (if we don’t want to be order takers) have to be a little contrarian at times. And we are not “nudgers.”

And I don’t mean to be … and probably never will be.

But I do love putting new combinations of things together. I do love taking something existing and breathing new life into it. I do love taking something that maybe is standing still and getting it to run again. And maybe that is what being a renovator is all about … pushing organizations and products to get the momentum going again.

Maybe it would have been more fun to call us “etch a sketchers’ instead but I will stick with being a Renovater <and owning an etch a sketch>.

Enlightened Conflict