“The world is full of people whose notion of a satisfactory future is, in fact, a return to the idealized past.”- Robertson Davies

Ok.

This is a follow up to my youth unemployment post. Why did I feel compelled to do a part 2?

I received a question from my friend Jen:

- <comment> Would be interested in hearing your thoughts on the educational system and STEM roots of this problem. I’ve been reading a lot lately on the problem of too many graduates not trained for the jobs that are out there. Also in some cultures (like China), there seems to be a cultural bias against vocational-type work vs. white collar. Wonder if everyone’s expectations are a little skewed these days?

Then.

Someone also sent me a McKinsey study suggesting that employers <businesses> believe young people are less qualified <less skilled> than they have been in the past … and therefore less effective … leading to an increased hesitancy to hire <and find a qualified candidate>.

Here is the research summary:

There is a profound disconnect between the perceptions variously held by employers, education-providers and the young themselves.

In the Mckinsey survey, nearly 70% of employers blamed inadequate training for the shortfall in skilled workers, yet 70% of education providers believe they suitably prepare graduates for the jobs market. Similarly, employers complain that less than half of the young whom they hire have adequate problem-solving skills, yet nearly two-thirds of the young believe that they do have such skills. The situation is such that nearly 60% of young people around the world say they would pay more for an education that would improve the likelihood of securing an attractive job; and 70% of employers say they would pay more for the right talent, if only they could find it.

And then Wall Street Journal had an article on “higher learning, meet lower job prospects” in which the author suggests we evaluate education because “the majority shares a point of view that education is not preparing young for the actual <available> work world.”

First. This “talent gap” <or skills gap> idea.

“The skills gap must be bridged if the world is to avoid dire consequences.” – Dominic Barton, managing director of McKinsey & Company

Let me be clear on this topic to Mr. Barton, McKinsey and every old person bitching about this.

I call bullshit.

On the research and on businesses.

There is no talent gap.

Let me explain.

Young people <new hires> have always been useless <to old employees>. In older people’s eyes education has never trained them properly and the young are always overconfident and overestimate their abilities.

And the young hires?

Old employees are always out of touch, stuck in the old ways and slow things down.

This is consistent.

Here is a truth.

We sucked when we were young & first hired.

Ok. Not completely. If we got hired for the right job <we didn’t lie too badly and hirer actually had their hiring shit together> we didn’t totally suck. But we most certainly were overwhelmed and simply trying to get our feet under us in week one.

Education, unless it is a professional training school, will never prepare us completely for the working world. Not only is it not its role but it is next to impossible to replicate what you are faced with in your first job.

You don’t know what you don’t know.

And you know what? While we older folk may bitch & moan … we don’t really want someone completely prepared and molded for that job. We would have to “unlearn them” <at its worst … ‘break them’> so we could learn ‘em in our way of doing things.

So.

What does this mean?

In the end I think this is old people being old people and young people being young people.

Young people are no worse at thinking or doing the job they are hired to do now than they were years ago … and old people are maybe a little bit better at holding on to the past <because technology has thrown a new variable into the skills equation>.

Young people entering the workforce are skilled. Just not as skilled on the things that an old person is comfortable with. And, in fact, they have more skills than old people in some things that the older people are uncomfortable with.

As consistent with business history … experienced managers are always uncomfortable with the new.

A new employee.

A new idea.

A new technology.

There is no talent gap.

<note: and this is where I make a note about how misusing research to make a point is aggravating … the McKinsey people know better … they used a ‘one point in time’ piece of information with no context from how the information may or may not have changed over time … shame on them>

Second.

As Jen pointed out … “an expectation gap.”

Well.

Yes. I believe that expectation gap has always existed … however, for several reasons; this expectation gap is wider than in years prior.

We would have to go way back in time to find as wide an expectation gap … probably the industrial revolution when the young left agriculture homes <and their parents> or maybe when automobiles became pervasive.

Regardless. The current expectation gap.

There are some things happening which drive older people crazy … which also make younger people think they know more than they actually do … and is all manageable if you accept the new work truth.

Let me break it down for the older folk into 2 thoughts.

Information Acceleration:

It used to be management shared information <suggesting older management had control>.

Uh oh.

The acceleration of the communication is dramatically increased with new technology. The dynamics and complexity is expressed thru Twitter or Facebook or even simple texting … and encompass the entire office <and business world> and informs others of happenings before some supposed ‘information controller’ does.

This demonstrates the enormous power of digitalization. Networking is a communication catalyst which not only accelerates time it takes control from the older experienced people.

Impetus to Work:

Whew.

If there has ever been a more important and intangible business issue I am not sure I could find it.

Important young employees ask themselves: “Why am I doing this?” … and even “do I want to do this?” all under the overarching stance of “I do not live to work, but rather, I work to live.”

The funny thing?

Even unimportant young people ask themselves all this crap.

This is so foreign to most older folk, this type of thinking in one so young <it is okay behavior of you have attained success already in their minds … and only then> that two things happen:

They misdiagnose attitude. Old people hear “I am lazy” when young people say “I do not live to work.” Bad bad bad. Read my lips <and read their lips>. When they say “I work to live” they mean it … and just that. This is a massive part of the expectation gap.
They mismanage by trying to create desired behavior/attitude. What I mean is that when the gap is perceived to be so huge old people do not even try <or they go thru the motions to try and ‘connect’>. They will offer some platitudes … they will have a Facebook page … and then will manage as if the young people are ‘living to work.’ Uh oh. What happens? They get frustrated because youngsters do not react <and easy place to stand back and go ‘geez, they were not schooled properly’> and youngsters get even more frustrated because old people are even more out of touch than they ever imagined.

All these thoughts really narrow into one very fine sharp point which constantly gouges into the youth … lack of respect. The gap will never close without respect.

Now.

Let me break it down into one thought for young people.

Entitlement:

We <when we are young> always feel like we are entitled to some things when entering work because we feel like we have studied, gone to school, done some extracurricular jobs to prepare … and in general expect old people to know we know our shit.

But.

Young people are confusing entitlement versus respect. All young people want when getting hired is respect. And I believe in today’s business world, and today’s economy, older people in management are begrudging <even more so than in the past> of giving respect mostly because more young people are entering into businesses with not only a different attitude but a different knowledge set.

The young need to knock the entitlement chip off their shoulders and focus on earning respect.

In addition.

As Jen noted <as well as a variety of other sources> capitalism & the overall increase in individual wealth has also created a different, odd, sense of entitlement <or expectations> tied to self esteem <and how we perceive others view us>.

White collar versus blue collar. “thinking” jobs versus “doing” jobs. Making money <producing & making stuff> versus making money from money.

Heck.

It was my generation that developed wacky titles so that people felt better about what they did in their jobs. We even have had ‘Chief Karma Officers.’

In my eyes … this is a societal issue … not a youth issue. And, frankly, it is my generation that created this expectation mess.

While what I am going to say is simplistic I fully understand that this issue is complex.

I truly believe if you read on to where I state ‘managing the knowledge gap’ that if we do so there will be an organizational societal respect ingrained in organizations. Therefore as an outcome expectations will be less relevant because employees, young & old, will feel respected by their peers and achieve satisfaction in other ways.

But. That is just crazy me talking.

All that said.

Today’s business world with regard to the young unemployed being hired and the older existing management <who is hiring> isn’t about a talent gap, or even an expectation gap … it is a knowledge gap.

And I believe it is a different knowledge gap than what we have faced in the past.

Here is the gap.

Competition for knowledge.

Knowledge is the most important asset in order to remain competitive in the business world. Knowledge referring to that which ‘dwells in people’ … and not in books or libraries or the classroom.

And in today’s business world we will actually be hiring new first time employees who have knowledge the older folk do not have. So, yes, the current young unemployed … despite being unemployed … have knowledge that does not currently reside within the existing organizations.

Now. They don’t know everything they need to know … they just happen to own some knowledge that the older folk don’t have.

What does this translate to?

Competition for knowledge … and recognize it goes both up and down an organization.

These knowledge people, who are highly relevant for the company, must be identified and tied into the organizational global mind.

Creating a society of knowledge alters the organization. And certainly doing so alters the ecological framework of the organization <hierarchy and attitudes>.

Look.

I purposefully called it ‘competition’ mostly to make an organizational behavior point.

The newly hired young are competitive just because that is what young people are when hired. And it used to be that in this competition the young could only get knowledge by either experiencing it or sucking it out of an older experienced person. Well. Technology has changed that dynamic. Knowledge will come whenever a young person wants it at his or her fingertips. Now. It may not be the best, or right, knowledge but it is knowledge and it is in the moment.

And.

Older experienced people do not want to compete with young newly hired. They believe they are not only above doing so but also believe they deserve respect. Well. that only really matters if you are not ‘working to live.’ The young are playing by different rules.

I told Jen a variety of things:

you know I am an education guy and i do believe there are some things that need to be fixed as well as I believe too many kids are going to college and getting degrees just because that is what they are supposed to do … but … youth unemployment is not an education issue . They are just as qualified as you and i were coming out of school … they just aren’t being given a chance to work. And when they do they have been unemployed for a while. The core issues remain the poor global economy overall and businesses. i cannot fix the global economy but business organizations are at the true core. as slaves to the financial statement and the financial community businesses have become leaner & leaner and less forgiving of mistakes and lack of maximized productivity. That is why middle & some senior management have been squeezed over the past decade or so as they are consistently being asked to ‘play down’ in an organization to ‘flatten’ the organization. so young people are getting screwed on the employment front in several ways by businesses. attitudinally and financially. It is cheaper for an organization to slam an overqualified higher paid older person in a lower slot because they justify it under the ‘less risk/less mistake/less supervision time’ theory. I also believe technology has thrown upper/older management a curveball. every new generation has a gap between them and the older generation but new constantly evolving technology has increased the gap significantly and increased pressure on the younger generation to ‘explain their expertise’ and if you can remember to when you were a young whippersnapper and you are honest with yourself … we, when young, our strength is never clarity of justification/rationale. Therefore you have a very qualified knowledgeable group of young people who not only struggle to explain what comes naturally to them but there is an older management group who just wants it to be the way it was. That last thought combined with an economy which makes businesses hesitant to hire anyway is killing the young qualified out there.

In the end I believe there is not a talent gap.

And there will always be an expectation gap. The expectation gap is almost unsolvable but can be worked through if you seek to manage the knowledge gap.

nothing beats flying

February 1st, 2013

“Come to the edge,” he said.

“We are afraid,” they said.

“Come to the edge,” he said.

They came and he pushed.

And they flew.

- Appollainare

Ah.

The edge.

There is a lightning rod word.

Edge is … risky … dangerous … uncertain … for the fearless … <insert your own word here>

Because of all those words … some people fear nearing the edge.

Oh.

Of anything.

They like to remain solidly in the middle. Some call it ‘the safe ground.’ On the other hand … other people don’t consider it safe but rather they simply want to keep their feet on the ground. It is nice and solid. It is a place where even if a stiff wind catches you unaware you do not even come close to teetering near the edge.

Now.

Some people like living near the edge. Of everything.

They dance on the balance beam of life. They are really only safe when not moving and steadying themselves but never stopping any longer than to contemplate the next move on the balance beam … the edge … of life. They find comfort in the instability offered by the edge.

Regardless of how you may feel about the edge … to fly you must not only near the edge … you must step off the edge.

Now.

Some people fear flying.

Some people want to fly.

Ok.

Let me take that last one back. I guess I know that all people want to fly <in some way even if it is just in their dreams or ‘what ifs’>.

It’s just that some people are better than others at getting near the edge.

And an even fewer ‘some people’ are better at actually taking that step over the edge.

Now.

To give people a break … stepping off the edge is a big step.

That big scary step … the one where you not only go to the edge … but you step off.

It is truly one small step for a person and one giant leap for who you will be as a person (sorry Neil … I paraphrased ya …).

Some truths about this whole edge and flying thing.

Truth <part 1>?

Sometimes you do not fly … you fall. And you … well … crash. And it sucks <and hurts really really bad>. Yup. Not everyone flies when they go to the edge and take that step.

That is Life.

Just don’t beat yourself up if you fall instead of flying. The fall hurts enough . But … just because you crashed that time doesn’t mean you can’t eventually learn to fly.

Which leads me to Truth part 2.

Truth <part 2>?

In order to learn to fly you need to overcome fear.

Let’s face it. That first step with just about everything in life contains, at minimum, a sliver of fear and, at maximum, crushing fear.

That’s not bad … in fact it has a natural characteristic of caution … but fear can also be debilitating.

And fear can also create stagnancy.

And fear can exponentially increase in size if you actually crash.

Truth <part 3>?

Please note that I believe flying, or learning to fly, is not about living Life without regrets. While I am a big ‘no regret’ guy this is not about regrets. Because Life is tricky in that it is rarely a straight line. It zigs & zags and whether you have chosen to stand as far away from an edge as you can in Life or you choose to dangle your mind off the edge … Life will place an edge in front of you whether you chose it or not.

I believe the edge is not about regrets but rather the battle between Fear and Curiosity. Because we have both in all of us. And I suggest this is not about regrets because … well … regrets can reside in both Fear & Curiosity therefore simply a derivative of your choice between Fear & Curiosity.

So. All that said.

Here is what Life forces you to balance out.

The dichotomy.

Fear versus Curiosity.

Curiosity stimulates the energy to move. Curiosity, when outweighing Fear, can not only wrestle Fear out of the way to get you to the edge … but actually get you to step off even if you cannot see a landing place. Curiosity is a pretty powerful energy.

And it is powerful because Curiosity offers a prize <where Fear doesn’t really offer any added value … at best Fear offers ‘maintained value’>.

Knowledge <or ‘what is not known’> … that is the tantalizing prize.

So what do I say?

Keep your eye on the prize.

And step off the edge <or at least an edge … or 2 … in your lifetime>.

You may fly.

You may not <this time>.

Scary?

Sure.

But, let me tell you, once you have done it … nothing beats flying.

looking down the road (and young people unemployment)

January 31st, 2013

“I trained for a world that doesn’t exist … I feel I have no future …” - Maria Ulldemolins <unemployed Spanish 20something>

So.

These are my thoughts on young unemployment and that mind numbing thought … “feels she has no future.”

Who the heck is Maria Ulldemolins?

A smart, confident young woman. She has one degree from Great Britain and is about to conclude another in her native Spain. And she feels that she has no future.

Ms. Ulldemolins belongs to a generation of young Spaniards who feel that the implicit contract they accepted with their country—work hard, and you can have a better life than your parents—has been broken. Today Spain’s unemployment is 21.2%, and among the young a staggering 46.2%.

So. I do not personally know Maria.

But I do know that while the youth unemployment are staggering … the youth unemployment issue is staggeringly concerning from a long term perspective.

I began addressing this issue in my 2013 predictions.

Here is what I said:

Youth unemployment

This is about hiring as well as what we do with them when we do hire them. The young are getting screwed in a number of ways. And while being unemployed seems like the biggest issue it is actually only the first domino in what we need to be sure we address. By being unemployed there are 3 key issues we need to be prepared to deal with:

- Lack of training: typically as we hire young people we have lower expectations. We permit them some time for ‘on the ground training’ as they gain experience. The longer they stay unemployed the longer they miss out on this practical training. Now. Most youth are not remaining mentally idle … they are thinking, observing & improving personally. This translates into a new, different type of entering workforce. Existing management needs to think about that … very carefully. It represents a challenge … and an opportunity.

My main prediction? Existing management will fuck this up. They will remain with status quo thinking and get poor results … but most importantly … we will miss an opportunity with this generation of youth.

- Lack of earnings: studies have shown the longer you wait to begin your earning history the less you earn in your lifetime <for a variety of reasons>. Short term this may not mean a lot but long term there is a huge issue with regards to earning history, savings and lifetime net worth.

My main prediction? Existing management will fuck this up. Mainly because they will only see the short term as an opportunity to get an older, more mature, cheaper employee and not recognize the longer term issues that will arise.

- Lack of ROY <return on youth>: youth and young people are the cheapest innovation engine in any organization. While typically overlooked in an innovation model their innate ability to provide a fresh perspective through fresh eyes is invaluable. Organizations may not recognize their current loss with the ‘lack of youth’ within their organizations but it is having an impact. It has a domino effect within an organization. Without the ‘hidden youth engine’ more pressure will fall on older employees for innovative ideas … and these employees are more focused on ‘safe behavior to maintain employment’ and … well … you can see where this ends up.

Focusing on the youth <and not the organizational issues> … I believe we will not manage this issue well. Mainly I believe this because we will tend to focus on numbers & jobs and not some key psychological aspects … some Maslow stuff.

At the crux of the self-actualization <Maslow> aspect I have one word … productivity.

Society has tightly tied the concept of individual productivity to labor … work. Especially at a young age <the hierarchy of importance … i.e., giving back to society, can shift with age after your ‘labor’ efforts has been actualized> productivity is pounded into our young heads that your productivity is a tangible way to define your personal success.

We teach in schools with an eye toward labor productivity <the entire school system is set up in a “here are the labor requirements and if you produce you get ‘x’ system & process”>.

We teach in home <parenting> with an eye toward labor productivity <work hard and you will succeed>.

We teach in cultural events & media <movie, tv, etc.> with an eye toward labor productivity.

Let me clear.

None of these teaching things are bad.

Directionally, and with an eye toward purpose, it represents a practical focus.

However, an emotional or psychological issue arises when the teachings do not bear fruit.

What I mean by that is we have guided our youth to a point … and then have put them on hold <being unemployed>.

Everything they have been taught, and prepared for, is unfulfilled.

This is an aspect I tend to believe most businesses will not give a shit about and society will be hesitant to grasp <society including parents>.

*** end of my 2013 youth unemployment prediction> ***

Now.

I purposefully began this with Spain.

Because Spain’s unemployment figures are particularly horrendous. But youth unemployment is rising and/or remaining at disturbingly persistent high numbers across much of the developed world.

This issue can easily be ignored as everyone else struggles with their own professional & Life challenges … and we always think that the young often have parents to fall back on or they can use the time to expand their education but we don’t see them as being ‘lost’ … just ‘on hold’ for now. In addition most have no families to support nor dire medical needs they need to insure against.

All this is compounded by the fact that this young generation is so damn positive . Pew Research shows that despite the fact their professional lives are being significantly challenged they are quite optimistic about their future.

What do I say about that?

First. They don’t know what they don’t know <but they are pretty damn resilient so there is hope>.

Second. We older folk have a tendency to look at the young unemployed differently than we do older unemployed <and information like the Pew report make it easier to do so even more>.

We need to revisit that type of thinking <and put it in the garbage where it belongs>.

In America just over 18% of under25s are jobless. Young blacks, who make up 15% of under25s, suffer a rate of 31%, rising to 44% among those without a high-school diploma <the figure for whites is 24%>. Other countries, such as Switzerland, the Netherlands and Mexico, have youth unemployment rates below 10%: but they are rising.

<numbers source: The Economist>

Globally there are now approximately 3.3+ million unemployed workers between the ages of 25 and 34 <more than twice the level in 2007>.

Globally there are now approximately 2+ million unemployed college graduates of all ages <nearly three times the level of 2007>.

Globally there are many millions more that are underemployed <those unwillingly working less than full-time or unwillingly working in a job outside their field which pays less than jobs in their field>.

Here is why we should start caring more than we do.

There is research that suggests youth unemployment does lasting damage <file this under the category of ‘they don’t know what they don’t know’>.

Young people are hit particularly hard by the economic and emotional effects of unemployment. The best predictor of future unemployment, research shows, is previous unemployment. In Britain a young person who spends just three months out of work before the age of 23 will on average spend an additional 1.3 months in unemployment between the ages of 28 and 33 compared with someone without the spell of youth joblessness. A second stint of joblessness makes things worse. – Jonathon Wadsworth Labor Economist

In addition.

Research from the United States and Britain has found that youth unemployment leaves a “wage scar” that can persist into middle age. The longer the period of unemployment, the bigger the effect.

Take two men with the same education, literacy and numeracy scores, places of residence, parents’ education and IQ. If one of them spends a year unemployed before the age of 23, ten years later he can expect to earn 23% less than the other <yikes … one year and 23% less>.

For women the gap is 16%. The penalty persists, though it shrinks; at 42 it is 12% for women and 15% for men.

Now.

They will not be unemployed forever <and that is what this post is actually about>.

So, when hired, if the objective were solely “speed to productivity” I would probably put the burden of responsibility on the mid30somethings as they have just figured out the maze to success. But the objective is “speed to long term productivity.”

In other words … sustained productivity.

Therefore I am going to end up putting the burden on the 50somethings capable of assuming this burden <and will outline in detail at the end on how>.

Now. I am not suggesting 50somethings do this for free. They should be paid handsomely. Personally I would be delighted to be paid primarily thru performance. Yeah. Teach and earn off of future value/contribution. Hmmmmmm …. that may seem nuts because a bunch of people will say “gosh Bruce that means the bulk of what you earn will be when you are already sitting at the great beach bar in the sky.”

Well. Maybe. And maybe not.

Guess it depends on how quickly, and how effectively, the people I mentor become productive.

Anyway.

Moot point. No one <but me> would do it.

Regardless <getting back to the young unemployed and how to ramp up productivity in a way that will sustain it later in their careers>.

It’s about teaching.

It’s about teaching data points.

Providing relevant data points.

Teaching how to assimilate data points.

How to prioritize and assess data points.

How to effectively use data points (make decisions).

What am I saying?
Young unemployed people are lacking data points because they just do not have the work experience. The burden of this generations’ 50somethings is they need to become the search engine optimizer for the young generation (with the “if you bought this you may be interested in this” feature).

Yup.

They query and we optimize against the query.

Ok.

Stop.

Please stop. I can already hear the shouts from my sage old peers.

“This generation is lazy. They need to think for themselves. OUR generation did it the hard way…we worked our way to the solutions. That’s the way to learn.” (and add in a bunch of exclamation points)

I call ‘bullshit’ on that.

I see little evidence that high unemployment is due to the shiftlessness of youths and far more evidence that high youth unemployment is due to systematic weakness in labor markets associated with a shortfall in aggregate demand.

Look. Some of all those issues older folk have with the younger generation may have some merit … but not in this situation.

We have a significant group of quite capable smart ambitious young people who have thru no fault of their own not had the benefit of experience. We have the responsibility to figure out how to squeeze the experience into shorter ramp up. To me that suggests iterative teaching. Which is admittedly a pain to the SEO generation because it is … well … a lot of work. And it takes an SEO nimble accumulator and assimilator mind. Not everyone can do it. Heck. I am not sure I could do it (but I sure as hell would give it a shot).

I say all this because I believe we not only owe it to these young people but we owe it to the global economy. The true productivity of this generation will be 20 maybe 30 years from now when they are leaders and influencers. Selfishly I would hope they would then be sharing perspective – past, present and future type thinking with the next generation by then.

Aligned with whatever the challenge is at hand.

Because that is what we mentored them on.

Alrighty.

Now that I have ranted, and stated the issues/problems/challenges … I will actually offer some solutions to any company and 50something who cares to listen.

Solutions suggestion:

Companies <training>:

a. Develop a 3-to-3 training program. <3 years into 3 months>.

First you have to get your head out of your ass<es> and understand the incoming 26 year old is not the 26 year old with 3 years on the job training but rather 3 years of life training … and it ain’t the same. What to do? Now that your heads are out of your ass put them together and develop a training program that replicates the on the job training one should have achieved in the first three years.

This does not mean ‘on the job training’ like we old folk think of it because it is too slow and they missed three frickin’ years of that on-the-job stuff already. Think of this as maybe an MBA real situation case study program without all the academic bullshit. This isn’t ‘learning the abc’s of our business.’ This is replicating real day-to-day business in training. But you gotta figure out how to cram those 3 years into 3 months. But we are supposed to be smart enough <and experienced enough> to be able to do that shouldn’t we?

b. Develop a reversed shadow program.

You know how young kids used to shadow a senior person watching and listening? Yeah. Well. now you are hiring a young person and slamming them into a responsibility & role … and you are having project hired experienced people to shadow them for let’s say the first 2 or 3 months. Sound expensive? Maybe from an out of pocket sense but the company benefits <monetarily> 2 ways. Call this person a ‘productivity catalyst’ and it is the new employee catalyst initiative.

- The young person is significantly more productive faster.

- The young person will be more valuable to the company faster <down the road>

Oh.

This idea also slams an entire tier of experienced knowledge down to a lower level in a way that doesn’t bog down the process <because it is simply being injected and doesn’t stay invested day in and day out month after month>.

Old/experienced folk:

You are now a ‘productivity catalyst.’ Suck it up. You are no longer a manager nor are you a long term brand strategist … you are parts & pieces of all those things and yet none of them. Your job is solely to make your talent & expertise appear like Scotty has beamed them there in Star Trek in a particular moment and place.

Remember? Earlier I discussed ‘data points.’ That is what this is all about. Teach in the moment but do not over teach <in the moment>. Part of our experience is simply about navigating the moment. I learned by watching others … and having them explain later.

Do the same.

Help navigate.

Design your teaching skill session by taking notes.

Use notes to teach skill <and background perspective> in pods at a later date.

Look.

I have written about 50something transformational people who are very good at bridging the old fart knowledge and the young whippersnapper arrogant know-it-all-leave-me-alone exuberance <http://brucemctague.com/older-experienced-people-and-transformational-hires>.

Those transformation people are a minority within the 50somethings.

Most 50somethings suck in dealing with the young generation.

So do not ask them to manage them.

This shadow idea focuses the 50somethings, who do not deal with the young people really well, on specific projects and short term ramp up. Will it take some mental work on their part to suck it up? sure. But they have to figure it out or they just will not be hired <or be successful>. But there are enough of them who will get it at some point.

They will stop living in the past and decide to build the present … moment by moment.

They will learn the art of e-communication … and quit blaming things on lack of face to face.

They will make a decision to try and walk in the young person’s shoes <and along the way they will realize that they aren’t much different than we were at that age>.

They will learn to define fun, and success, differently … because this is … well … different.

And those who don’t do those things?

Will stay unemployed.

Whew.

Done.

That’s my rant <with a solution>.

Young people and their career development later, with high global unemployment now, is one of the most important issues facing businesses globally today.

Here is a business/Life truth <whether older folk want to face the truth or not>.

Professionally it is tough for young people to not be a mess.

The world has changed from when us old folk began work. Options in this new greater more open global economy are limited <sounds odd but companies are running leaner, have less patience for less the 100% productivity and desire generalists but hire on a specialist role/responsibility acumen … meaning that in general most businesses are confused with what they actually need>.

Insecurity dogs even the best young people … even if they know they are quite capable … if not even very good … because businesses are becoming increasingly less tolerant of mistakes and are increasingly risk averse.

Therefore fear of failure shadows every moment and every action.

This is the generation entering today’s global economy … well … this is the generation that WILL enter once they finally get to leave the unemployment lines.

I know. I know. There will always be the exceptions to what I have just written.

But to focus solely on the exceptional exceptions? It is silly, if not stupid, for us as adult leaders.

We <us old folk> owe it to the next generation to assist them … because we put them in this position.

And you know what? If you want to look at it selfishly … we old folk can benefit. We can have more jobs doing what I outlined and be productive <businesswise> for a longer period of time <and be employed>.

I don’t really care why you may do it … but we need to get our heads out of our old asses and get doing it.

13 and new year predictions

December 31st, 2012

I am not superstitious. I have worn 13 <although 15 or 5 seemed to be what I wore all the time> and I seem no worse for the wear.

But we now enter a 13.

2013.

Here is the good news.

The ancient Egyptians believed that, on the last rung of a 13 step ladder to eternity, the soul would find everlasting life.

I like that.

And I personally believe this 13 will be a lucky year globally <especially now that we have resolved the whole Mayan calendar issue>.

I believe several things but mostly despite the fact there will be some disgruntling issues <slower economy than people really want, unresolved issues in the Middle East … crap like that>, that globally we will take a step up on the ladder to an everlasting soul.

We maybe even take a couple steps up.

Here are my 2013 predictions … or maybe better said … my thoughts for 2013. There are only 11 but that leaves room for 2 more to be added at a later date.

Let me begin with where I believe we will really need to step up <but probably will not>:

1. Youth unemployment

This is about hiring as well as what we do with them when we do hire them. The young are getting screwed in a number of ways. And while being unemployed seems like the biggest it is actually only the first domino in what we need to be sure we address. By being unemployed there are 3 key issues we need to be prepared to deal with:

- Lack of training: typically as we hire young people we have lower expectations for what they are capable of doing. We permit them some time for ‘on the ground training’ as they gain experience. The longer they stay unemployed the longer they miss out on this practical training. Now. Most unemployed youth are not remaining mentally idle … they are thinking, observing & improving personally. This translates into a new, different type of entering workforce. Existing management needs to think about that … very carefully. It represents a challenge … and an opportunity.

I have a much longer article coming up on this but suffice it to say this will be a big issue in 2013 … and it will be one I am not confident we will manage well.

2. Education

I call this the hollowing of education. And I believe it is the most overlooked issue with regard to education today. Everyone seems to be focused on “average scores” in assessing education. Silly. Education’s issue is actually the increasing hollow between the haves and the have nots. Richer kids are getting better educations. Poorer kids are getting worse educations. Richer kids are getting better scores and stack up well versus the best of the best everywhere. Poorer kids are getting worse scores and stack up poorly versus even the middle of the rest of the world. The average score looks worse because more kids are getting worse scores than the kids who are getting great scores.

My prediction is that we will continue to focus on the wrong things and the bulk of kids will continue getting a shitty education.

Okay.

Here is where I think we will step up to the plate, the good things, and actually do in 2013.

- Global economy

I admit that I have a different perspective on this. Mainly because I believe the past double digit growth was not normal but rather simply just a “good run” economically. In addition I also believe structurally the global economy is going through a renovation as emerging countries gain an economic foothold and the larger economies are subsequently playing a smaller role. I believe Fareed Zakaria calls this ‘the rise of the rest.’ Western economies need to recognize not that they are smaller but that smaller players have become bigger. People may be disappointed by what is perceived as smaller growth numbers but, globally, individual country’s economies will restructure to become more profitable & efficient and be in a position to have another ‘good economic run’ in maybe 3 to 5 years. Yes. I am suggesting 2013 will be a good year for global economy because it will pay off in the long term rather than short term.

I know … crazy thinking.

- China & US

A lot has been made about the upcoming struggle between China & US for global leadership as well as some relatively wacky diatribes on the US dependence upon China fiscally.

In general I think 2013 will be a good year for this relationship. The truth is that each country needs the other economically. China has been a major funder of US innovation & infrastructural spending and US has been the number one consumer of China productivity. This mutual dependence may create some issues but I also believe it will create some good programs as each country tries to limit their dependence on each other. By the way … that interdependence also assists in foreign policy discussions. We should worry when neither is dependent upon the other … and 2013 is not that time.

- Global poverty

Mostly because I am too lazy to look up the specific numbers I won’t quote specifics. But my memory suggests we made some significant inroads to reducing global poverty in 2012. And I envision that we will have another very good year in 2013 in addressing global poverty.

Poverty is attacked through education and ‘survival infrastructure’ <access to clean water & proper nutrients>. We seem to finally be taking steps to build the foundation globally so that people can lift themselves out of poverty.

And, while the media seems to suggest that the world is in turmoil, they are actually wrong. Poverty is being eliminated mainly because of stability & lack of turmoil. Many of the emerging countries are more stable <economically & politically> than ever before and that permits their population to survive <and be productive> rather than be transient & at war. So I imagine a secondary prediction to poverty reduction is increased peace globally.

- Someone will break a meaningful sports record <and Messi will solidify his legacy>

2012 was a spectacular sports year … in fact … almost unprecedented.

Usain Bolt at the Olympics? A Brit in the Wimbledon finals? A baseball triple crown winner? A running back coming with 9 yards of a single season rushing record <and one year after tearing his knee to shreds>? Messi scoring more goals in one year than anyone else?

Records were broken. Things were done that hadn’t been done in decades.

So for 2013 I will begin with Messi. Scoring records are tricky things because most people just look at it as a “quantity record” and there will always be someone figuring out a way to diminish quantity. But every once in a while a superior athlete in their sport comes along and breaks a scoring record with quality. Wayne Gretzky did it in hockey. Messi just did it in soccer. In 2013 he will be recognized not for his quantity of goals but rather his wizardry on the pitch. His legacy will be solidified in 2013.

And someone will break some sports record we cannot imagine ever being broken. I will not even attempt to guess what it will be mostly because who would have ever predicted a guy who tore his anterior cruciate would actually get back on the football field the following season and run for over 2000 yards? That is why predicting record breaking is almost next to impossible. We are talking about sports freaks of nature.

- Diplomacy will reign in foreign policy

War and death is at an all-time low globally. And yet it seems like we constantly teeter on the edge of war & death. I won’t comment on how media skews our perspective here but I will suggest that in 2013 global foreign policy will re-establish diplomacy as the key action to a productive interlocking global community in 2013.

I believe more soldiers in more countries will remain in their homes in 2013 than in previous years.

I believe foreign policy leaders <who will avoid politics> will rise above the din of the hawks & doves clamoring for ‘here is what you should do’ and collectively find diplomatic solutions for the globe’s most unsettled situations. Will it last? Geez. Skip down to the second prediction from here and you will see ‘power of the people.’ Foreign policy diplomats can only set up a successful infrastructure but it is the people who end up having the responsibility to make it work. I cannot predict people’s <populations> actions.

But I can predict foreign policy and I think it will be a very good year for foreign policy diplomats. In a government universe that often looks like a huge village of idiots they will rise above the incompetence and be incredibly competent on the world stage.

- USA will begin believing in itself again.

We are a stubborn egotistical nation … but magnificently resilient. At some point we will remember what made US great wasn’t being number one … it was being number 2 … and trying harder. Frankly we are better as a country when we are competing and not being the prohibitive favorite to win. I think in 2013 <maybe later in the year rather than the beginning> the US will quit whining about what was and will get on with “what will be.” And they will begin believing in itself again. And it will start competing again.

I am not suggesting infrastructural issues will be resolved … but I do believe that people will begin believing they can beat the infrastructure. Beat the system. And you know what? The system can be beat. It is absolutely not a fair system in the US at the moment <the USA has a depressingly low score on social mobility … the ability to shift economic status upwards> but I believe people will just say ‘fuck it … if I wait for the system to get fixed I may as well wait until a woman wins the Masters golf tournament.’

The people will take matters into their own hands and begin believing in whatever it is that US believes in <just do it, do it myself, whatever you want to call it>.

The economy will improve not because of more government or less government … in fact the government & taxes & stimulus is irrelevant … it will be because people’s attitudes will change. They will just believe it should be better and will set out to make it better … regardless of the system they are asked to operate within.

Which leads me to the next … power of the people.

- Power of the people

There are 2 aspects to this belief for 2013.

People themselves and the impact of the people.

First. People.

Western countries have the non-humble belief they are constantly teaching every one else … well … everything. I actually believe western countries will be applying learning from others in 2013. In fact they will learn from the Middle East. We watched the past several years as people in countries began standing up and topping their leadership. Now. I believe we are less focused on the toppling and more focused on the fact people are standing up and speaking out for their beliefs … and getting some traction and action. Therefore more and more people will be less silent and more active.

This will obviously create some issues because most existing countries populations are not aligned and therefore it could end up being more divisive … but in the end people will become less ‘silent majority’ and more ‘speaking majority.’ It will not all be productive but it will certainly produce some action.

Second. The impact.

I almost created a separate prediction called “the continued rise of the nation state” but realized that this is but a subset of the power of the people. If you haven’t been paying attention there is an increasing trend of devolving larger nation states to smaller nation states. This is a natural evolution of countries but it is also a reflection of a more vocal ‘people.’ Sudan splitting. Yugoslavia splitting. Catalonia discussing splitting from Spain. States with secession petitions in the US. Regardless … as people step up and speak out they also think more ‘nationalized’ in a smaller tighter way. It is natural. We tend to forget that Germany as it exists has only existed since 1871 <not counting the split between East & West after WW2>. Italy has only existed since 1861. USA in its current 50 state form since 1959. Heck. Poland didn’t exist for 100 years in the 1800s when it was part of Germany/Austria/Russia. Countries evolve and devolve. I believe we are in a devolution phase. Where will it happen next? I do not know. But I predict it will <or begin to> in 2013.

- Purge of the politicians

I believe it is going to be a very bad year to be a politician in a western country in 2013. Mostly because of what I just wrote <power of the people> and also because … well … they have shown no indication they can do what is right to date. And with pressure from people? I cannot envision their lives getting any easier. From Argentina to the US to Germany to Spain … people are sick of politicians and their ineffectiveness. At some point politicians will have to step up and explain to people why they are worthy of representing people … or they will be purged … or just become irrelevant.

Which leads me to my last prediction … about a new breed of leaders.

- The rise of leaders

I do believe it is going to be a great, not good, year for new leaders. Now. We may not recognize them as true leaders in 2013 but I envision 2013 as the year our next generation of great leaders will arise from the turmoil.

I believe I will call this new leadership group … the sifters. They will have the ability to sift through the loud voices, the silent voices and their peer’s voices … and decide what is right … and do it <whether it is ‘popular’ or not>. For example … in the USA it is going to be the ones who stand up and go “we need to raise taxes <on everyone not just the wealthy> and we need to make spending cuts and we need to revamp entitlement programs and we need to regulate businesses until they can prove they can be trustworthy and we need to make government departments accountable … or we eliminate them.” Basically we will find a new group of young leaders who will explain common sense … even if it is some unpopular common sense … and tell people the truth … and do what needs to be done.

This is going to happen not only in the USA but also France, Great Britain, Italy, Spain, Chile, Mexico, Argentina, Brazil and a number of other ‘developed countries.’

This is one prediction I will put money on.

We may not reap the full benefits of this group for another 5 to 10 years but I believe we will look back on 2013 as the year of the rise of the great leaders.

I purposefully ended my 2013 predictions with that last one on leaders. And I did so as I circle back to how I started this post … globally we will take a step up on the ladder to an everlasting soul.

I believe 2013 will be a very good year for our global soul. Will it be easy? Nope. Because nothing as important as this ever is. But collectively we are grasping the concept of global citizenship. That doesn’t mean we will think less ‘nationally’ but rather we are beginning to understand the fact our individual actions impact the global community more and more.

When we speak there is someone miles and miles away who hears.

When we act our actions echo in far corners of places we cannot even pronounce the name of.

When we listen we hear wisdom from places we never knew had wise people.

We have a ways to go but I do believe we will take a step up on that ladder in 2013.

цветы необычайной красоты & mashkawizii

November 30th, 2012

The two words … one Russian and one Ojibwe <Chippewa> mean …

цветы необычайной красоты

translation: “flowers of unusual beauty”

<note: these words are pulled from a random piece of Russian poetry … or maybe a very old song … I am not sure which … in which the full line is “and in the neutral zone … flowers of unusual beauty …” … it is a metaphorical reference to the beauty of fragile freedom that lies within the space between old West Germany and East Germany>

Mashkawizii

translation: “strong … inner strength”

I selected these two to talk about character.

And to spend a minute on what lies within each of us … and the secret to Life.

Why?

Well. I had to pick up a copy of The Secret in order to have a quasi intelligent conversation with a friend of mine .

Suffice it to say I believe, despite what the books says, there is no one secret to Life <in fact … I wrote something a while back on this … http://brucemctague.com/no-secret-to-life>.

The secret actually is finding the key that unlocks your own inner strength, or inner character or inner passion … or <to keep with the thought> … the key that opens the door to your own flowers of unusual beauty.

Yup. The secret is finding the flowers of unusual beauty that lie within your own walls and give them freedom to prosper in the light of day.

The secret is finding your ‘mashkawizii’ … the strength that lies within you.

And this is a very personal individualist thing.

It is not a formula and most likely not replicable <therefore I cannot write a book telling anyone what the ‘one thing’ is>.

Which makes this topic tough.

Because Life can be really really tough on us.

Relentless in fact.

But inside everyone … and, yes, I mean everyone … there is a flower of unusual beauty and strength.

No book will tell you the secret to unlocking it.

I kind of even doubt a person can tell you the secret to unlocking it.

Only one person has the key … yup … yourself.

Now.

I am not suggesting this is easy … nor do I believe you always get it right the first time. Because sometimes it gets pretty dark inside as doubts & insecurities cluster around like shadows following closely on your footsteps as you look in the corners for what you seek. In addition it is kind of like a Rubiks cube of shifting thoughts and ideas inside you as you experience things. All of it makes this difficult … but I imagine secrets to life wouldn’t be easy if they were actually worthwhile to figure out.

Oh. And sometimes you find people who just don’t believe they have this inner strength or flower of beauty.

I feel very very safe in giving this one piece of advice … if you run into one of these people … stop … and tell them they are wrong. 100% wrong.

It is there.

They just haven’t recognized it yet.

But. Everyone has it.

Everyone.

No matter how hard Life has been … and hardened the walls of doubts, despair and disappointments … within your walls there remains … well … цветы необычайной красоты … a flower of unusual beauty.

Mashkawizii or цветы необычайной красоты … it is within you and worth finding.

I call it character <probably because I am neither Ojibwe nor Russian>.

Now.

While The Secret suggests happiness <or ‘attitude’> is the key to life & success … well … I cannot guarantee that for you if you focus on my thought.

Nope. Sorry.

What I can guarantee is that your happy’s will be really good and meaningful because they are a reflection of what is within. Your happy moments will always be full & have depth.

Oh.

And I think I can guarantee <this is not a price back guarantee though> that your un-happy’s will be liveable. They won’t kill you. Maybe better said … you will have the mashkawizii to be strong and hold on <without losing yourself in the process> until Life decides to move along to the next phase. Like I suggested on happy moments <full> … in the darkest unhappy moments you will never completely empty.

But that is just what I think.

And please do not tell me a book can give you the secret to Life.

<update here because someone reminded me I was a little harsh on The Secret>.

Now. While I just said I do not want anyone telling me a book can give you “the secret” to Life … I will add <and I am very consistent on this> … I do not believe people should foolishly and blindly pursue ‘get rich fast’ tricks to Life but I also believe that people need to do what they need to do to get through Life.

So … if The Secret gets you closer to where you want to go … use it.

Heck. Use any book that helps you. Be smart about it … but do what you gotta do to get your head straight.

present or imagined

October 31st, 2012

“Present fears are less than horrible imaginings.” – Macbeth after seeing the witches

So.

I figured I would use witches on Halloween to share a Life thought.

Shakespeare was a pretty insightful guy <as well as a darn good writer>. He had a nasty habit of capturing some every day, every common person thinking in his classic work which made it thoughtfully entertaining.

A truth – we people do have a habit of fearing ‘what could be’ a lot.

Macbeth is interesting because it is sort of about ‘overcoming’ imagined fear.

The fear of ‘what if.’

Macbeth tries to convince himself the witches have foretold a ‘truth’ and therefore the prophecies <the imagined> they shared with him can’t be all that bad <because they are simply ‘what will be’ and not imagined.

Now.

This doesn’t come easy to Macbeth <as it wouldn’t be easy for you or I or anyone for that matter to take advice from a witch> because he invests a shitload of energy wondering … if the witches’ prophecies are good, then why does the horrid image doth unfix my hair … and make my seated heart knock at my ribs.

He is scared <as anyone one of us would be if three witches appeared in front of us let alone even talked to us>.

In his scared-shitness he says to himself … “present fears are less than horrible imaginings.”

He means that the fear that you feel in the face of actual danger cannot be nearly as bad as the fear of imagined danger. Basically he is talking himself into not being scared shitless and doing whatever he needs to do to be king <the point here isn’t that you probably won’t be a king/queen if you overcome your imagined fears – I didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up – but that you are more likely to attain ‘the next stop on your ambition Metro line’ if you can overcome fear and move on>.

He makes himself believe that tomorrow’s actions cannot possibly be as frightening as he now feels it is.

It is a good lesson for us even if you don’t have any witches around to prompt you to doing what you should be doing.

Oh.

Shakespeare also makes a point that having some fear is actually good for us <whoa … now THERE is a thought>.

Before Macbeth goes to visit the witches Hecate orders them to create illusions that will make Macbeth “spurn fate, scorn death, and bear his hopes ‘bove wisdom, grace and fear”.

Well, well, well.

Shakespeare suggests that fear is your friend. Even better? He suggests that the opposite is dangerous … “security is mortals’ chiefest enemy.”

When the witches present the apparitions to Macbeth, it is their intention to convince him that he has nothing to fear <actually … to convince him to put hope above fear if I want to be true to the words in the play>.

And, actually, I like that thought better.

How do you overcome horrible imaginings? Focus on the hope for something better.

Good life lesson.

It is also in MacBeth that the witches share the conundrum of Life to Macbeth:

First Witch: Lesser than Macbeth, and greater.

Second Witch: Not so happy, yet much happier.

Third Witch: Thou shalt get kings, though thou be none.

Shakespeare throws in a nifty common everyday life ‘horrible imagining’ here … the reality that Life is a contradiction <therefore nothing is simple>.

The ability to be lesser and yet greater.

To be not so happy and yet be happier.

To be a king and, yet, not.

Geez. What could be worse than the non-absolute?

Of course … what could be better than the non-absolute?

Fear keeps us sharp … as long as it doesn’t freeze us into inaction.

My only advice?

Don’t wait for some witches to stop by and tell you this.

Although. On Halloween night I guess anything is possible.

In closing …

MACBETH <closing the scene>: Till then, enough. Come, friends.

Exeunt.

Happy Halloween.

poor self esteem is an equal opportunity employer

October 29th, 2012

According to recent Dove Global research, only 11% of girls worldwide are comfortable using the word “beautiful” to describe themselves. In fact, when girls feel bad about their looks, more than 70% (age 15-17) avoid normal daily activities, such as attending school, going to the doctor, or even giving their opinion.

So.

While poor self esteem may be an equal opportunity employer it seems like it is making a concerted effort to recruit the female population … and begin the recruiting at a fairly young age. Let’s say about 13 is what poor self-esteem has identified as the key recruiting age.

We have all heard of the terms self-concept, self-image or self-esteem.

Simplistically.

Self-esteem is a measure of how you feel about yourself. Good self-esteem is when you have a favorable opinion or judgment about yourself and, ultimately, liking and respecting yourself.

Now. While self-esteem is important to everyone I tend to believe it is especially important to pay attention to <we adults> because Life can be a little harsh toward young girls and, eventually, women <by the way … contrary to popular belief, research has shown that there are no significant differences in the way boys and girls feel about themselves during those periods of development>.

And the truth is (and I do have research … but this just seems like common sense) that the longer you feel unappreciated and taken advantage of, the worse you will feel about yourself <especially when you aren’t in a relationship where someone appreciates you> but, in general, the worse you will feel about yourself when you are alone … that alone time where your thoughts gnaw at you.

I admit I get a little pissed off when I view low self esteem in young girls, and those young girls who have turned into women, because it is needless. Not that we can solve all self-esteem issues but we can certainly take significant steps at key moments in a young girl’s life to manage it … if not even completely head off self esteem issues.

All that said let me highlight what one company is doing to address this.

Dove and the Dove girl’s self-esteem campaign.

And it is brilliant not because it will sell one bar of Dove soap <it may … but I will leave all that analysis to the brand building experts> but rather because it is a great example of the right brand offering the right message with the right objective. And doing what is … well … right.

Let me begin with the video that kicked off this Dove self esteem fun initiative. It is called “onslaught:”

Dove Onslaught: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJN-3yTr3KU

Okay. After watching that video do we doubt this factoid?:

“72% of all girls say they feel pressure to be beautiful.”

<note: everyone should read the guest post my friend Jen wrote called ‘all dolled up’ which also points ot the messaging in women’s magazine which I also believe feeds into this issue> http://brucemctague.com/all-dollop-ed-up-with-no-place-to-go-2’>

Now.

Dove. A bunch of people will probably write about how this is a smart marketing idea (consistent with brand, establishes the product positively with a young audience, bla, bla, bla) so I will write about how this is just a good human idea.

Self esteem in youth is tricky in general. Young girls? Exponentially trickier. If you can solve it (or at least manage it) the benefits carry over into a healthier adulthood. And that is why I love this campaign as a human idea.

And let me say that the web video is something they should be proud of. I cannot imagine the political maze and how many meetings they must have had with corporate communications (remember…Dove is a Unilever brand) discussing risk and crisis management and media relations and all the crap everyone worries about when you actually take a stand on something. The video takes the issue head on.

I also like that it does a couple things:

- Mainly it opens the discussion

- They make the discussion about perfection within the imperfections

- and it also takes on society pressure head on <and Dove is part of a health & beauty company for gods sake>. The campaign aims to boost self-esteem by reshaping the definitions of beauty forced on viewers by the beauty industry.

Now.

I am not suggesting appearance is the only self-esteem issue that should be discussed but feeling comfortable in your own skin is especially important to young girls. Research shows that it is around the age 13 when self-esteem and appearance reaches a critical point. Let us call it a defining moment in their lives.

Bottom line is that it is wrong to tell CHILDREN (not just girls) that “this person is attractive, therefore, this person is better than you and you will never be attractive as long as you don’t look like this person.”

Look.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to make yourself pretty as long as you’re not going to extreme lengths like most of the beauty industry promotes.

Being comfortable with your appearance, and not feeling odd or even simply ‘unusual’ is important because having a good self-esteem is needed in youth both today and tomorrow.

I tend to believe we all see young girls struggle with confidence and perception issues as they move into this tween period. It is a tough time in many ways. The crossover from being just a girl to a maturing young tween.

Yes, I know adult women have these issues too, but I would argue the root of the issues resides somewhere in their past. I think the series of videos Dove produced do a great job of gaining attention and making adult women aware of the program … and hopefully remind them they can do something to insure it doesn’t happen to tomorrow’s future female generation.

Dove Self Esteem: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIe0FSvnycY

Every girl, yes, every girl <traditionally pretty or nontraditionally pretty> will go through a phase where self-image and self-esteem are questioned and molded. During this self-examination phase it is important to establish a healthy sense of self-worth and maintain well-being. Unfortunately I believe we need to proactively cultivate and engage the activities and relationships that will build up rather than tear down. Yes. We need to ‘proactively’ take steps. Because, left alone, society will kill self esteem with a death of a thousand cuts.

We need to proactively remind all young girls that they have strengths and weakness, and it’s important to begin focusing on the positive attributes and start building from there. And even if it is difficult to see these strengths (and it becomes easy to suggest to yourself … well … that isn’t really a strength … someone is a lot better at it then I am … but that’s not the point) we need to remind, and teach, young girls to grab onto their own strengths and hold onto them. And that is a responsibility we adults need to assume <because society will not>. Silence just will not hack it in this case. If you let that ever-hyperactive tween mind wrestle with the doubts and societal cuts it is a self-esteem accident waiting to happen.

One Tree Hill Brooke

Anyway.

This topic also reminded me of a One Tree Hill episode in which each of the students as a class assignment had to define themselves. One of the characters, Brooke, who is smart, beautiful, popular who only defines herself through the negative … through her ‘self seen’ flaws … finally, with the help of a friend/classmate, sees herself in a different, more positive/stronger, way.

I am not recommending everyone watch One Tree Hill <although this one episode is a defining episode> but it points out that self awareness leads to addressing self esteem issues <and, in her case, leads to a happy ending>.

“What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.”

“The story of the human race is the story of men and women selling themselves short.” – Maslow

Now.

Does this end up being an example of maybe ‘are we teaching them they are better than someone else’? Well, sometimes yes and sometimes no. sometimes they are actually better and sometimes not. But it doesn’t matter. We are teaching them they are what they are good at and it is okay to understand that being good at something doesn’t mean you are the “best’ but rather you are good at something. We end up teaching them to work with whatever their strengths and natural abilities are.

————

Research factoid:

- Researchers at the University of Basel in Switzerland made this finding after analyzing U.S. survey data of more than 7,000 young adults from 1994 to 2008. The participants ranged in age from 14 to 30 years. Over the course of 14 years, the study authors examined how five personality traits (openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness and neuroticism) affected the youth’s self-esteem. In addition, the researchers also looked at the participants’ sense of life mastery, risk-taking tendencies, gender, ethnicity, health and income. “We tested for factors that we thought would have an impact on how self-esteem develops … understanding the trajectory of self-esteem is important to pinpointing and timing interventions that could improve people’s self-esteem.”

The researchers found that conscientiousness, emotional stability, a feeling of mastery and being extraverted are key to predicting the direction a person’s self-esteem will take as they grow up, and that income did not affect this course.

—————

Why do I believe we really need to get our shit together in helping tweens <say 11 til 14 in particular> in dealing with self esteem?

Well. Several things make you the person you are today. Confidence and self esteem and emotional intelligence. And you aren’t given these things when you are born. You accumulate them and they grow into what you “have” as time goes on.

Our self-image is an accumulation of years. From childhood on on we collect ideas of how smart we are or how non-smart, whether we are confident or have specific fears, we decide how we look in comparison to our peers and the list goes on and on. Oh. And then society steps up to the plate. And they pile on to everything you have stored in your head.

(insert you are not good enough image)

Basically our entire self-image has been made up from all our experiences throughout our childhood. We carry these beliefs, whether they have any truth to them or not, into the post-tween years and into adullthood. And at the core of whether we are happy or sad people, successful or unsuccessful, is our self esteem and self image. It is true we are what we believe we should be.

People with low self-esteem have a very distorted image of themselves. In a book called ‘Self-Esteem’ <McKay and Fanning> they use the analogy of a circus mirror where all our assets are minimized or twisted, and all our defects are magnified.

Youth or childhood certainly plays an integral role. This is what makes up the differences of people in society, for some their self-image has been molded and shaped in a very positive way. Yet for others it can be drastically damaged through destructive criticism received throughout their childhood.

All adults play a big role in the person’s development. Yes. All adults.

Okay. The role of appearance in the self esteem issue?

I actually think of all this as ‘abusive verbal experiences <’you look different’>’ which join with cultural messages to assault female self esteem. This kind of subtle abuse is pervasive and cuts across all socioeconomic lines. It invariably sends the message that the victim is worthless … or certainly that they are not even close to being the best.

And I bring up verbal abuse because many women believe that verbal abuse has hurt them far more than any physical act. As one woman has put it, “words scarred my soul.”

And women whose abuse started as children have the most fragile sense of identity and self worth.

Poor self esteem often results in depression and anxiety. Physical health suffers as well. Many times, women with low self esteem don’t go for regular checkups, exercise, or take personal days because they really don’t think they’re worth the time.

Relationships are impacted as well. Their needs are not met by their partner because they feel like they don’t deserve to have them met, or are uncomfortable asking. Their relationships with children can suffer if they are unable to discipline effectively, set limits, or demand the respect they deserve.

Worse yet, low self-esteem passes from mother to daughter. The mother is modeling what a woman is. She is also modeling, for her sons, what a wife is.

And it bleeds into the workplace where women with low self-esteem tend to be self-deprecating, to minimize their accomplishments, or let others take credit for their work. They never move up.

Well. that was depressing to write.

And even more depressing? We can do something about it … but we don’t seem to do anything.

I say all this to say the obvious … building self esteem at a young age is important because people with high self-esteem tend to do well and achieve success in their life because they feel confident about themselves mentally, emotionally, physically and socially.

It is a truth, a fact as it were, that no one goes through life unscathed. Poor self esteem is an equal opportunity employer.

Okay. We can do something about this.

I am going to focus on adults here. I will being with something someone wrote:

Life is a hard situation but one sure way a parent can help a young girl is to help the teen build their confidence and self worth. A teen with high self confidence and self-esteem are not simply manipulated into making the incorrect decisions because they don’t feel the pressure of the crowd.

Parents should be in a position to teach their youths that folks come in all shapes and sizes that way they will be ready to be more accepting of their physical features and would also be non-judgmental of others. Inspire them to get into activities where the field is equal. Good social skills, and confidence in self, helps a teen deal with differing types of scenarios and people. And guiding them to utilize their strengths helps because excelling in anything can enhance a young person’s confidence and self esteem.

Parents cannot be there all of the time but they must be ready to lend a hand when their kids need a hand to hold on to. For sure there’ll be screw ups along the way but a little failure is always a good sign. Most importantly, you must teach resilience to your kids.

Parents are not designed to shield their youngsters from discomfort and discomfort but rather for them to make certain they can go through pain and pain and then come out fine. Ensure that it is clear that you will never abandon them no matter what. Respect their autonomy by giving them the vote of confidence that they can handle any situation

Good thoughts.

And you don’t need to be some radical cheerleader.

It is a research driven truth that quiet expressed belief in a child has more impact than being a loud cheerleader.

That quiet belief leads to quiet <inner> strength.

Which is important because in life it’s difficult to stay tough specially when things and people around you keep pulling you down.

We should also be teaching young girls that they have their own identity. They do not get defined by us <adults> … i.e., if your parent is a failure in some way, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too.

And we should teach them they can learn from other people’s experience so they can avoid the same mistakes because you are … well … you … and not them.

I do not believe some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. I do believe being positive, and staying positive, and leading … is a choice.

Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent.

Because, once again, in life it is hard to stay tough specially when things and society and people around you keep tearing at you.

We need to teach them that Life isn’t always easy. You are going to get hit, and even bruised, by life. You have to be resilient. But resiliency implies you have a good foundation to protect. That foundation is the right attitude, the right behavior and the right way of thinking.

If we start to teach our young people that if they become responsible for who they are, what they have and what they do … it effectively spreads out into the rest of their life – the today and the tomorrow life.

These are smart girls.

One day they will be smart women.

This young tween age a defining moment. A reflection moment some day in the future. A point on which they will reflect upon their actions and life.

If they are ashamed? It will gnaw at them.

And that is why I applaud Dove for taking this step. Their actions today try and build the women of tomorrow.

getting out of the hole

August 24th, 2012

“It is easy to go down into hell; night and day, the gates of dark Death stand wide; but to climb back again, to retrace one’s steps to the upper air – there’s the rub, the task.” – Virgil

So.

There’s nothing like great literature to help you think about life.

I think this is his way of saying it sure is easier going down then up.

With anything.

But that’s the thing. No matter how far down you go, even to what feels like hell, you will have the chance to climb back out.

It takes a lot of strength of character, and most likely a shitload of persistence and resilience to do it, but it can be done. Yeah, it can be done <despite the fact it can get pretty dark in that hole>.

The quote also reminds me of one of my favorite West Wing scenes.

Leo tells Josh a story <In Episode #32 Noël>:

“This guy’s walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can’t get out.

“A doctor passes by and the guy shouts up, ‘Hey you. Can you help me out?’ The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on.

“Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up, ‘Father, I’m down in this hole can you help me out?’ The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on

“Then a friend walks by, ‘Hey, Joe, it’s me can you help me out?’ And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, ‘Are you stupid? Now we’re both down here.’ The friend says, ‘Yeah, but I’ve been down here before and I know the way out.’”

(the west wing clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQJ6yqQRAQs)

I imagine I added this part to the Virgil thought because sometimes retracing your steps out of hell is … well … more than just a task.

Sometimes it is just a different kind of hell in itself.

And sometimes you need help.

In fact sometimes you need someone who has actually climbed back out.

Someone who has reemerged from the gates of dark Death. Someone who knows how to retrace your steps.

Now. This is a difficult thing to do. Asking for help as well as deciding who to trust. Because not all people who have actually visited hell and made it out are created equal. Just because they shared the experience does not make them the right ‘helper.’

So.

I can’t help you out on this one other than to make this observation. I believe everyone has to make this type of judgment, and decision, all by their lonesome.

Life has a nasty habit of testing almost all of us at one point or another.

And I also believe Life took a shitload of classes in varieties of hell just for … well … the hell of it.

Just to complete its education, to insure as it guided us through time we experienced all the good and bad we should, Life makes sure we visit all the places we should visit before we are done with this wacky thing called life.

I have used this quote before and a good friend of mine shared the infamous Winston Churchill quote “when in hell keep going” which is maybe the most important advice <obviously because if you stop, and stand still, hell will not go away so you stay>. And ‘keep going’ is possibly the most important thought because as Friedrich Nietzsche said … “And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.” Because if you fight the darkness of the hole by standing and fighting you run the risk of becoming the darkness itself. The abyss gazes back at you which means that when you begin to understand something you take a piece of it with you and it changes you.

But. That said.

Life isn’t, and shouldn’t be, a single’s match. At minimum it is a double’s match <at minimum to double the joys and halve the griefs> and at its best it is a team sport. Not to suggest visiting hell is a sport but hell is part of Life’s game … just one inning, quarter, period, portion, piece … and getting through it is easier, and sometimes necessary, if you are not doing it alone.

So, yes, you should keep going … but … well … maybe look around for some help at the same time. Because getting out of the hole is difficult and having some help cannot hurt your chances.

i have never understood the absurd

August 23rd, 2012

Well. This is about a poem.

Oh.

The ‘the words of life I have never understood’ line alone probably makes this worthwhile to share. But the entire <short> poem is a good insightful read.

Here is the poem:

In my voice

there is at least a sign

of living geometry

the words of life

I have never understood

the absurd

difference that runs

between death and the illusion

of the heart’s beating.

- salvatore quasimodo

The geometry of what I have never understood.

That summarizes pretty much what all of us think about life. There is a formulaic aspect of life … or … well … at least it feels likes there is … and yet we struggle to make the formula work.

Why?

The absurd differences that run between life and death. The absurdity of life as it were. The absurdity that geometry has no formula for. It is difficult to make sense of the absurd. It is difficult to understand the living geometry <in its constant changing shapes and sizes>.

Life is a living geometry in which we are constantly seeing, and learning, new angles and edges and shapes.

And sometimes it appears absurd only because we have never seen the shapes before … or maybe we were never taught that particular geometry.

I imagine, in the end, we would like to believe that life has nothing really new & original to throw at us and we can be <even if we aren’t actually> prepared for the odd geometric shapes life share with us.

And that belief is false.

Life is absurd.

It is a living geometry and you can drive yourself absolutely nuts if you think you ‘should have known’ or ‘been prepared’ or ‘could have learned’ whatever it is that you are being approached by that is throwing you a curve ball. Absolutely frickin’ nuts.

Life is the ‘absurd that runs between death and illusion.’

Accept it … or … well … go nuts.

what if it can’t be fixed?

August 8th, 2012

So. In business I am a self proclaimed renovator. That means I like to fix thing.

This also means I cannot build shit from scratch.

For me it’s all about improving and/or fixing. Interestingly I have a small group of friends who are fixers (while meeting a variety of business people over the years I haven’t really met many what I would call true fixers). I don’t believe the ‘fixer’ ability is really that unique nor special nor even that it takes excessive intellectual capacity but I believe the true fixers remain a relatively small group because there is an inherent slightly warped perspective .

Anyway.

I just talked to one about her job <and quitting it>.

And we spent some time talking about fixing … and what if we couldn’t actually fix something.

Now. This is a quasi-epiphany like discussion.

Because fixers believe they can fix anything.

It doesn’t matter … whatever needs fixing we believe it can not only be fixed but that we can fix it. And I truly mean whatever.

We aggravate a lot of people (who aren’t fixer personalities).

Because we are also pragmatic respectful-cynical optimists.

To believe anything can be fixed you have to have gobs of optimism. Relentless optimism. This isn’t ego. This is simply belief that nothing cannot be fixed.

Ah. But there is equal amount of pragmatism. Because you also have to be practical, logical and ruthless with regard to tearing apart whatever needs to be fixed to put it back together so it is fixed.

And those two characteristics bookend respectful cynicism.

A fixer is cynical, and respectful, of every component and part and piece and person of that which they are fixing. A good fixer recognizes parts need to be fixed to completely heal the whole. Ah. But some parts don’t need to be fixed. Just reconfigured with the new fixed parts. Therefore a fixer is cynical of all that has come before and currently is … while at the exact same time respectful of all pieces and parts. Rarely does a fixer find what needs to be fixed was created by a blithering idiot. Business is strewn with brilliant people being asked to do things beyond their own brilliance. The odds are you are fixing some unintentional consequence rather than some intended misguided behavior.

Respect that which is.

Be cynical of what is.

A fixer dances this dance better than a winner on dancing with the stars.

Beyond the personal fortitude and characteristics … fixers eventually need help (although it pains them to admit … oh … and the recognition typically only comes with some maturity).

Fixers never blame anyone else when things don’t get fixed- only themselves. It comes along with the whole “able to fix anything” mentality. It is a reflection of the personal responsibility to fix.

Anyway. The recognition of need for help is important <which is why you don’t see a lot of older fixers … not recognizing the help factor affects mortality rate>.

Because although you get better at assessing “fixability” with time and experience once you are actually in the ‘fix game’ the focus is (laser like) is on fixing. And if you don’t have someone else around to clean up behind you or maybe cover your flanks it can get dangerously blinding toward the end game (without regard for an escape path).

Okay.

Let me take something back. We don’t aggravate most people. Most people just don’t like us. Regardless.

If you accept the optimism and pragmatism and respectful cynicism then you will understand this next thought. This means we will go as deep into the hole for as long as it takes to fix the innards. And keep going and stay until it is fixed.

There is an inherent danger in this. In fact. Lots of fixers die down in the hole. They just get sucked so far into the black of the hole they cannot see the way out. And worse, the imaginable, what if we can’t fix it? We often don’t know when to try and stop fixing (a by product of the fact we just cannot believe it can’t be fixed).

When my friend and I talked we laughed (a little uneasily) about the unfixable to fixers. Admitting something cannot be fixed to a fixer rocks the foundation of everything we stand for. How do we deal with it (so we don’t spontaneously combust)?

Well. First. We justify things by saying “we cannot fix it ourselves” (we need others to be aligned). And in many cases this is actually true. We share this thinking grudgingly. True fixers believe all you really have to do is to show the way and others will inevitably recognize “the way” and will follow your lead (doesn’t have to be true following it can simply be replicating desired behavior). Why did I make that point? True fixers like to lead but that isn’t what they are all about. Its about …well … fixing. Anyway. The truth is that some things cannot be fixed solely by a fixer.

Second. As we gain experience and face fixing problems with significantly more depth and breadth we recognize there are truly aspects of “alignment” necessary to make the “fix” work. And therefore seniority, titles and responsibility are a means to an end. Most fixers would accept the title of “waste management apprentice” as long as limitless responsibility was attached to it. Fixers don’t attach self worth/esteem/actualization on titles or money but rather the ‘fix.’

Ok.

I say all this because the big discussion with my friend was on a counter offer when faced with her resignation (note: Now. I admit. I am not a counteroffer fan – as a giver or receiver … I kind of feel it is a lose/lose deal. Well. Both may win short term -employee stays and gets what they deserved in the first place- but long term the employer is unhappy they were forced to do something and employee is aggravated they had to force their hand … anyway …).

But the big discussion centered around “is what they are offering going to enable you to fix” as well as “would anything be able to fix” and finally “what should you outline as your ‘if I were to stay here is the only scenario’ counteroffer.”

All with an eye toward the fixer nirvana … fixing something. And we had the incredibly difficult moment as we reached an “I don’t think you can fix it discussion.”

She didn’t like to hear it.

And if I wasn’t a fixer (talking to another fixer) I am not sure she would have really listened.

Yet. In the end we both agreed no counteroffer was not worth considering unless it enabled the ultimate source of the resignation impetus – the inability to fix.

Ok.

I wrote this for a couple of reasons.

- Self-reflection as a fixer-renovator.

Strengths (or maybe not a strength but rather simply ‘what you do’) follows the general rule in life … balance. Because whatever it is that you do … it comes at the expense of something else. It is silly, if not foolish, to believe you are good at everything or the thing you are good at makes everything else unimportant. As with everything in life it is all about tradeoffs. I tend to believe that is why there is a relatively small circle of fixers. As with anything not many people are willing to sacrifice some pretty important things to focus on a specialty like fixing (which can come at a fairly high cost).

- Reflection on what you may be good at.

I imagine I like writing about focus and recognition of what you really like to do … and the good and bad that comes along with such a recognition. I am a really really lucky man (ok … possibly just an overgrown boy). I know what I am in business (not sure I know in everyday life … still perpetually learning).

The good and the bad. And the risks that come along with the rewards.

And I admit that I was really fortunate as I passed through middle management.

I always had someone who would send me down the rabbit hole and let me go as deep into the dark as needed and make sure that I never got too lost in the dark as well they also “fixed” (or enabled) some of the really necessary ancillary stuff so I could fix. And, in hindsight, they also had the ability to recognize what could be fixed was fixed and pulled me out before I killed myself on the unfixable <note: not everyone is as fortunate>.

But. And this is a big but.

I am a fixer through and through. Even now.

Even though I know some things are so dysfunctional they cannot be solved by me my initial thought is always … it can be fixed and I can fix it. And I am no different than other fixers.

I say that last point just to say … despite the fact I am relatively aware of all this I am not sure it makes anything easier in the end.

Other than the fact I have drawn a clear line in the sand with regard to what I will do and won’t do … and what I will compromise and what I won’t.

I hope that is a good thing. It may not be but it is a decision I am okay with.

Enlightened Conflict

Tag Archives: self confidence issues

getting out of the hole

i have never understood the absurd

what if it can’t be fixed?

Enlightened Conflict