Posts tagged self esteem and thineself
to do or not to do
Aug 26th
“most agencies are in the same boat — from big ones to two man shops. They’re in it for the money and they’re scared. Scared the client’s going to walk. And because they are afraid they compromise their principles. They are so scared of losing the business they give the customer what they think they want rather than what they know he needs. And sometimes it works — for a while. But in the end it always backfires. You lose the business anyway and you wake up one day to find you’re a prostitute. So, in the end, stick to your principles. ‘to thine ownself be true.’ 0ver 200 years old but still good advice.”
- Stephen Hawley Martin (founder of The Martin Agency)
Anyone in the service industry will read this and understand exactly what Mr. Martin is saying.
When in service business you are always trapped by “doing whatever it takes to make the customer happy” (which seems to be an insane mantra seeping through business these days) versus “what is going to make me happy” (as a business, business person, business owner).
This is not an easy answer.
I am not suggesting ignoring customers (although I do believe the tired “customer is king/queen” mantra is going a little bit too far) but at some point you draw a line.
You need to draw a line or you will go nuts.
Or just become a prostitute.
Look. Sure sometimes lines can fence you in but sometimes lines can neaten life.
Someone who draws a great line yet is focused on the customer?
Ritz Carlton.
“Ladies and gentlemen serving ladies and gentleman.” You see that everywhere in the back rooms and over back-to-front entryways at Ritz Carltons. It is their culture and their attitude and their mantra.
So.
What is the line? The moment a Ritz guest no longer acts like a ‘ladies or gentleman.’ That is their line.
Anyway.
I imagine drawing a line is about making boundaries.
And it is probably one of the hardest things in the world to do. With anything I may add.
In business? Yikes. I have been in those meetings. Especially now with the internet where one ‘declined’ customer (they don’t even have to be mistreated in any way) can reach out and impact hundreds because they weren’t allowed to join the club. How to grow your business? Whew. Of course in a recession passing on a dollar in hand is tough (heck. even in good times it is) but do you really want them as a customer?.
Think about government. Regardless of whether it is government policy on dealing with terrorists or rules of warfare. What is acceptable and what isn’t? Tough tough questions.
Personal? Personal time off in a business. Your kids and their activities. Job searches and type of job you want. Time commitments. Personal behavior.
Anyway.
Where do you draw the line?
I know I struggle with people who want it all spelled out upfront (or maybe people who live only by ‘rules’). Mostly because you invest a lot of energy and time thinking about every possibility (which could be time doing more productive things) and then lo and behold something you couldn’t have foreseen pops up. And you start discussing ‘exceptions’ (which really aren’t exceptions other than the fact someone demanded you draw a line … or a boundary).
And where does it fall on the line you have drawn. Some things are black and white but they seem to be far and few between.
The one thing that remains black & white?
Being true to thineself.
Draw the line somewhere where you can sleep well at night.
That’s the line.
shakespeare and self esteem
Jul 27th
“Be true to thineself.”
Shakespeare
I used this quote in maybe one of my first 5 posts but since my friend Jen referenced it with regard to self esteem I thought I would bring it back and refresh it slightly with the whole self esteem discussion in mind (as well as my recent rant on advertising agency differentiation).
Let’s talk business first.
I use this quote in every branding exercise I have ever done. I believe branding, personal or companywise, doesn’t start with the ‘customer’ but in understanding yourself. And in understanding yourself … have the kahones to be true to thineself regardless of the repercussions.
Branding experts spend so much time focusing on the customer and doing whatever you have to do to be liked by consumers that they lose sight of what a brand really is at its core – thineself.
I would imagine at its core this thought is about a company’s self esteem.
I guess if all you want to do is make money and be a prostitute, or a chameleon, and be whatever the consumer wants and do whatever the consumer wants in search of the almighty dollar then you should go ahead. But while I would probably lose the consulting gig I would then suggest ‘be comfortable being a legal prostitute.’ And, oh, (no offense to any prostitutes) expect that no matter how big your wallet gets you will have the same self esteem as a prostitute. By the way. I am not the first to suggest this (at least in the advertising industry). The original founder of The Martin Agency in Richmond said something very similar (I have the exact quite in a box somewhere). But. Those ad guys are mad men anyway.
When I do any strategy gigs and I use this quote I typically suggest it’s like building a great circle of friends. Your circle of friends is stronger if there is some mutual respect and you truly enjoy each other’s company (flaws and all). Now. That doesn’t mean everyone will be your friend. Some people may like you but not be a friend. And some people will just have no interest in being your friend. But in the end your company, your product/service, your brand is better off if it is ‘true to thineself.’
Okay.
Personal (and this whole self esteem thing).
Heck, I believe it may be one of the most important lessons a person can learn in their personal life (and one of the most difficult lessons to actually implement I may add). I don’t have a lot to add from what I say to business owners (above).
Similar to businesses getting caught in the barrage of consumer influence on company image an individual is faced with a similar situation (without money involved).
As Jen told me:
“realize sometimes people just get bogged down, and the external factors are definitely loud/pervasive, but still annoying to see/listen to people play “victim” or blame their upbringing/society/partner/etc on their unhappiness or their unwillingness to climb out of the pit.”
I cannot disagree.
Shakespseare was a smart dude. I don’t think he lacked for self esteem (although I would imagine he had the typical creative artist insecurities lying below a healthy façade of strong self esteem). But self esteem is a tricky thing.
It is made even trickier by the fact we are always growing as a person. We are always gathering external information and assessing ourselves. Part of self esteem is understanding what is good and should be respected about yourself and another part of self esteem is partially understanding how to change and evolve and improve.
And that is self esteem’s trickiest challenge.
Be stagnant and you aren’t improving. External factors will remind you of that. Constantly.
So change and those wily external factors have a habit of understanding that your foundation is shifting and starts seeking cracks in the foundation to weasel its way into.
My first post on “be true to thineself’ may have been too flippant.
Truth in itself is very difficult; add ‘thineself’ and difficulty increase exponentially. Negative self esteem issues are a “pit.” That is true. And I am with Jen on this one … no one should be willing to accept living in this pit if you have a choice. And everyone has a choice when it comes to self esteem.
Ah.
But nothing good in life is easy.
That is an unndebatable truth.
