Posts tagged smallest actions contribute

survival

“it is not the strongest of the species that survive, not the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” – Charles Darwin

I love this quote.

Mostly because those with ‘brawn’ scoff at those with ‘brains’, and vice versa, when survival (and that doesn’t have to mean life & death but rather success or failure) is being played out.

Regardless of the side someone is on … both believe they have the advantage regardless of the situation.

But.

Chuck (as Darwin was called to his closest friends) suggests you don’t have to be the sharpest knife in the drawer nor do you have to be the strongest tool in the drawer to survive.

You just have to be flexible. Responsive to what is happening. Have a willingness to adapt to the situation.

Flexibility is certainly an advantage if you have the desire to succeed at anything you do (ask any coach). We all face times when we have to deal with situations that do not “fit in” to our routine or our ‘comfort zone.’

I say “tough noogies” (not sure exactly what that means but I bet you get the point).

Adapt or die.

Sure.

One of the most frustrating things in life is when you have done your best and yet things still go wrong. Or maybe you didn’t get to where you wanted to get to (what you were ultimately aiming for).

You have to be flexible.

You have to adapt.

You have to have the ability to fit in a changed situation or to modify your behavior & actions accordingly.

If instead you stubbornly hold on to some things that don’t work … and repeat mistakes … this inflexible will cause failure (or simply not reaching what it is you were aiming for … which is a derivative of some type of failure).

By the way … in other words … continuous behavior along those lines means you will not survive.

Ultimately you have to decide to do things differently to experience different results.

Easy? Nope.

It can be uncomfortable. It can be emotionally draining.

We know that when we are asked to change again and again, the physical and psychological reaction, which is actually excessive stimulation to the system, puts our ability to adapt under massive strain. All the change produces stress and carries with it a physical and emotional price tag. The more radical the change … the bigger the price tag.

Excessive stimulation has at least three levels — sensory, cognitive and decisional. To help us function, each of us has developed strategies or destimulation tactics to lower the level of stimulation when we feel uncomfortably close to the limits of our adaptive range. We use these tactics every day, often unconsciously. By becoming conscious of them we can increase their effectiveness. By examining our own responses to overstimulation we can learn ways of consciously influencing change. We can begin by influencing small events, then expand our influence to larger patterns of experience.

At this but you need to detach and rise above all that you are today so that you can be tomorrow.

You need to not only be prepared to recognize when change needs to occur (typically there is a threshold on where you need to stop fighting the change or risk falling so far behind you cannot catch up or just be ‘eliminated’ at that time … oh … that survival thing) but you also need to be ready to change.

Look.

Everyone has the capability to change.

In fact I have a nifty chart which shows how most people accept & accommodate change:

Its pretty simple but shows that we need to work through the different levels of response to effect change. I would imagine there are several points to be made but here are the two from me:

-          you learn as you move through each phase at each point actually changing how you think about future problems/challenges to further change

-          you can get stuck anywhere in any phase at any time (the nifty chart actually helps show how easy it is to NOT change because you get stuck somewhere).

So. As change is introduced to you & your life you are forced through all four levels. I would imagine the last conclusion would be to attain the fourth level as quickly as possible.

Anyway.

Survival, and change, pretty much always depends on the most basic first step – believe that you are able to make the changes.  And take the first step.

Without that?  You have the thought …. but no action.

And the result of no action? Lack of survival again.

All that said …

I tend to believe a lot of people will read the Darwin quote and seek to find meaning within ‘survival of the fittest’ bigger picture.

Think small my friends.

Think day-to-day.

Think “me.”

Think that survival is about adapting to the environment around you.

And adapting means “initiating a new order of <personal> things ….”

”It must be considered that there is nothing more difficult to carry out, nor more doubtful of success, nor more dangerous to handle, than to initiate a new order of things. For the reformer has enemies in all those who profit by the old order, and only luke-warm defenders in all those who profit by the new order. This luke-warmness arises partly from fear of their adversaries, who have the laws in their favor, and partly from the incredulity of mankind, who do not truly believe in anything new until they have had an actual experience of it”. – Machiavelli

Bottom line.

Always think about how can you adapt.

By the way … I am not suggesting (and I believe Chuck Darwin wasn’t either) 100% change to adapt … successful change typically begins by pinpointing anchors of stability (one you either have or can develop) which help to make the transition change not only viable but more likely successful for you..

Regardless.

Make change your constant companion and friend.

never interrupt the enemy

“Never interrupt the enemy when he is making a mistake.” - Napoleon Bonaparte

This is a follow up to yesterday’s “when you start to suck, stop.”

Why?

Well. Because that one was focused on your suckedness and this is focused on someone else’s suckedness.

Simplistically. If your enemy is starting to suck … don’t interrupt.

Once again, similar to knowing when to stop being difficult, it is difficult to stop from … well … stopping someone, even an enemy, when they are sucking.

Most people see it as an opportunity to shine and cannot wait to show that they don’t suck.

So … this is about patience … oh … and, actually, lack of ego.

Let me go to the ego thing first.

We all like to look & sound smart (or skilled at something). “Opportunity to shine” is how I put it earlier. As soon as someone starts sucking we inherently see the opportunity to show we don’t suck. And we want to rush in as quickly as possible to make the ‘I don’t suck’ statement (or make the point that would confirm to everyone around us that we don’t).

It’s difficult but …. wait. Yep. Wait. Rest your ego for a second (or a minute or whatever).

Your ego will have its opportunity.

Why wait (i.e., “won’t I miss my opportunity”)?

Well. Oftentimes timing is key because if you don’t rush, and pick the time correctly you get an added plus (beyond the non-suckedness) … people will also judge your character.

Oh. And earn some respect.

Trust me. Everyone else in the room knows the other person is sucking. They also know you are not pointing it out (or making the other person look foolish).

Look. Invariably your actions and words are compared to ‘your enemy.’ And it becomes a reflection of who you are as a person from a character perspective. And people recognize that.  And they store it away for the future (because everyone knows they will suck at some point and they would prefer to be working/being with someone who is not going to leap at the opportunity to point it out).

So. That is the ego part.

Next. Patience?

Often we are in a rush to “do something” where patience is called for. Setting character to the side … I would like to remind people that mistakes are often like quicksand (corollary to sucking). Not always but sometimes.

Regardless. Patience simply means let your enemy make as many and as much of a mistake as he/she is willing to make. Don’t interrupt the possible depth & breadth of the mistake.

Patience permits you to assess the best opportunity … do you just sit back and let your enemy drown in the quicksand (always a viable option) or at some point when the depth & breadth has been maximized (short of going under) you reach out and pull everyone out of the suckedness zone.

You win either way.

And you don’t have the win opportunity if you aren’t patient.

Napoleon was absolutely a master at permitting his enemy to suck for as long as it took to maximize his opportunity.

Never interrupt your enemy when he/she is making a mistake.

Much much harder to do then you think.

Much much easier to do the more practice you have.

knowing when to stop

“when you start to suck, stop” – Kristen Hersh

So.

This is so explanatory it needs no explanation.

However.

What I would suggest to everyone is that, in general, people don’t stop when they start to suck.

And they don’t for one of two reasons:

  1. They are oblivious to their sucking.
  2. They recognize their suckedness and begin to do whatever it takes to rise above sucking (only to find out that sucking is like quicksand)

Let’s go to # 1 first. Oblivious to sucking.

Unfortunately life doesn’t have stop signs (or any signs for that matter) with regard to sucking. Nor is there a manual you can read. You can pretty much only hope for one of 2 things … either over time you start to recognize your own signs of suckedness or you happen to have a really good friend/co-worker who has a special sign they give you to tell you that you suck (or are starting to suck).

Knowing when you start to suck is difficult.  Really difficult.

I think it is easier to recognize when you aren’t sucking. So what I typically tell people is that when you know you are going good … and on a roll … as quickly as you can find a “period” point. I mean a stopping point (usually characterized by the fact you need to stop talking to actually breathe) … and … well … you stop.

Now.

That may be as difficult as stopping when you suck (maybe harder because it is natural to want the goodness (non-suckedness) to go for as long as possible.  But. Stop on a high note. Trust me. If someone really likes it they will ask for more.  If they don’t … well … you did great.  You didn’t suck.

The corollary factoid?

Well. If you enter into the suck zone and you stop … well … I can guarantee they won’t ask for more.

It all sounds confusing doesn’t it?

It is.

Especially now as we move to #2.

This is where you actually realize you suck … and then begin paddling as hard as you can to get out of the suck zone.

Oops.

Sucking is like quicksand.  The harder you work to stop sucking the further you get sucked down into suckedness.

But, once again, it is natural to try and want to end on a high note so you work to get there. This is human nature to try and get yourself out of trouble once you recognize you are in trouble (insert suck for trouble at any point)

And you shouldn’t.

Stop.

A little suckedness will be recognized as just that … a little. And most people will overlook the little for whatever made up ‘the most.’ But.  A lot of suckedness? It’s … well … a lot.  And difficult to overlook or ignore.

Anyway.

Kristen is a musician … but she said something relevant to anyone at any time.

It’s her quote but I would change a couple of things to create some advice.

“When you think (even an inkling) you are starting to suck, stop.”

The corollary?

“When you think it is going good, stop.”

But.

I guess truly the best thought in the end is just where I started … “when you start to suck, stop.”

rat girl thoughts

So.

I wrote about Rat Girl (Kristen Hersh) awhile back … and have been meaning to come back to the book and some quotable/comment-able thoughts from Kristen and her book.

Let me say this upfront.

Rarely have I found so many quotable thoughts from one book.

Anyway.

There is no particular order for these thoughts & quotes.  I simply wrote them down as I read Rat Girl. So there is some spontaneous nonlinear thinking to be shared (and several other posts will follow using specific quotes).

With that … it seems appropriate to start with this following quote because I love music and I tend to believe it is one of the few global forms of communication with the ability to cross cultures and actually bend cultures …

“They <songs> don’t commit to linear time – they whiz around all your memories collecting them into a goofy pile that somehow seems less goofy because it’s set to music. Songs are weird. They tell the future and they tell the past but they can’t seem to tell the difference.” - K. Hersh

Well.

I am not sure I have ever heard a better explanation for why music is so powerful, oh, and timeless. Great songs & songwriters have the ability to capture moments & thoughts in a way that they become timeless …’ or maybe better said they become ‘a relevant time’ to the listener.

And there are really two thoughts here.

Some songs inspire timelessness on things you are experiencing now … they just express eternal ‘truth.’

And the some songs are, well, not timeless.

What do I mean?

Well.

Not timeless is easy to describe. They are of a genre and style and wording that may make it a hit today but quickly slips away into that irrelevance space that most tepid shit ends up in.

But timeless? Whew.  That stuff speaks to you forever. Because, as Kristen suggests, they live concurrently in the past, present & future in what they say and how they make you feel.

You hear it and it can make you think of something that was. And you ache, or think or just laugh a little.

You hear it and it can make you think of something that is. And you ache, or think or just laugh a little.

You hear it and it cam make you think of something that could be. And you are hopeful, fearful … or just think.

That goofy pile of thoughts is less goofy set to music … and by being less goofy it makes you think … think about something.

And that is what makes a great song great.

It doesn’t have to be great grandiose type thinking … it is just thinking.

Once again … if you ever need to explain to someone what makes music the thing that is universal globally … just pull this quote out.

It is a timeless quote.

Next.

“Play a grown up ‘til you grow up.”K. Hersh

Ok.

Let’s think about this one a little.

This was written by a 19 year old. Bi polar. Pregnant. Fronting one of the most avante garde bands of the time. And she is often thrown into environments where she was expected to be a grown up … and make grown up decisions (or maybe think like a grown up).

Putting this quote into perspective … all she really wants to do is be a musician …  to create and play what was in her head.

What did she do?

Play a grown up.

I like this one for a variety of reasons.

Mainly because it was written by a 19 year old. And one who embraced her originality (which would almost presume she would balk at being “grown up”).

But I also like it because in its simplicity it is a Life truth.

I think a lot of teens understand this (play a grown up). And will do it … that is if they are permitted to and it is nurtured.

All teens contain originality. That is what youth is all about.

Some young people are strong enough to “play grown up” on their own (see Kristen Hersh as an example).

But most young people aren’t strong enough … okay … maybe ‘resilient enough’ is a better way to phrase it. They seek to fit in first and foremost. It’s the safest path. And, therefore, true originality is few and far between (being part of a flock isn’t conducive to originality).

So. She reminds us that even those teens who are grown up – are simply acting like it … that is until they actually become a grown up.

Ok. I say all this to make a point.

We adults can either nurture it or destroy it. And destruction is a lot easier than nurturing.  Destruction can happen in the smallest word or action.

We adults need to remember this. Not all teens are as strong as Kristen Hersh. Most are more fragile. Does this mean we should pamper our youth? Absolutely not. But be cognizant of repercussions of our actions as we nurture.

Also.

There is a business side to life, yeah, I said life. By business I mean there are rules of the road we all have to follow on how we are supposed to act, what is appropriate or not, all that stuff we need to do and are supposed to do … if we want to get what we want. And this is true regardless of your age. and to make it trickier it all varies depending on the situation.

What do I mean? If you are 19 but put in a situation surrounded by 40 year olds you have one of 2 choices …

(1)    act like a 19 year old and get nothing

(2)    or act like a 40something and get what you want.

Simple to do? Nope.

But if you don’t even try and act like a grown up and you are 19 in this situation I can promise you one thing, unequivocally, you won’t get shit.

In the end? Play a grown up until you are a grownup.

Another awesome quote in its simplicity.

Next.

This one is mindboggling as she, in her own words, defines  passion in life.

“I think you need something in your life that is both beautiful and necessary. A person or a mission or a place. Beautiful might not be pretty and necessary may not be understood, but, still … I think caring, not death, is the passport to heaven.”K. Hersh

Ok.

I have been tempted to have this quote framed.

And, once again, from the mouth of a 19 year old.

“beautiful may not be pretty and necessary may not be understood.”

Whew.

That is chill bump type stuff.

Not all passion is shared. And what is necessary to you may not be necessary to someone else.

Frankly that thought may be one of the most difficult for people to grasp.

We so often set a ‘standard’ for what is good, acceptable or the ‘best’ for people.

So what happens to the people who don’t ‘fit ‘within the guardrails? They are oddballs … out of the norm or mainstream … and are forced to swim upstream.

Shit.  So what about the majority who do go easily within the guardrails? Maybe they never get to see what is beautiful and necessary (what a fucking shame).

Regardless.

This quote is a big thought.  A thoughtful thought. And rather that have me define it or explain it I just posted it so everyone could read it … and all I ask is for everyone to think about it.

Because, honestly, I cannot stop thinking about it.

Next.

“If you play too many wimpy chords you’re just asking for wimpy scales. Play colors.” – K. Hersh

This one is awesome for not just for musicians but for anyone in the creative business.

Shit.

This is actually awesome for anyone.

A lot of people are really successful playing it safe.  Or doing what others have done. And then there are the few … those who play colors.

I am not suggesting, using her words, that it is bad to be ‘wimpy.’ Because in this case wimpy isn’t bad … it’s just … well … maybe not aspirational. And that’s okay because not everyone does aspirational stuff. And not everyone SHOULD do aspirational stuff. Not everyone s wired for that.

But.

Boy.

“Play colors.”

If you are even closed to being wired this way this simple quote is pretty powerful.

Me?

If I could have one thing in my obituary it would be “we saw colors when he was there.”

Do I believe I deserve that now? Nope.

But that is surely what I am aiming for.

Ok.

This is the last quote I will use from the book.

“Everything about Betty is huge, bigger than life. I’m smaller than life – so unremarkable that I’m practically invisible.” – K. Hersh

So.

I lied.

There was an order in the quotes … at least I that I purposefully put this one last.

For a variety of reasons this one really struck me.

And, no, you don’t need to know who Betty is to think about this and understand it.

But.

Think about this as you read this quote … fact here was one of the most talented songwriters and singers of her generation … and she thought herself unremarkable.

And small.

And it got me thinking.

That word unremarkable.

It’s a big word.

Maybe even an immense word when referring to oneself.

Maybe I like this quote not because I am as talented as Kristen Hersh … but rather because I feel unremarkable.

Not in a bad way. Just that in comparison to some pretty remarkable people I have been fortunate to have known.

Frankly … I tend to believe a lot of people feel the same way. They feel unremarkable. And maybe not invisible but … well … not remarkably visible to the broader world.

And yet I, just as most people I imagine, would like to do something remarkable.

C’mon.

We all want to leave something behind… but how do we do that when we are so small in life.

So few of us actually make an impact … well … a really big impact.

The kind of impact that makes you remarkable.

And I do think the majority of us feel small and insignificant on occasion (if not the majority of the time).  I know I do.

And once again that’s not bad.  It just is.

But I want to make a difference.

Is it “making people see colors?”

Or implementing the global education initiative?

Or something else?

Heck.  I don’t know.

What I do know is Kristen captured the essence of our smallness in a way that was clear and concise and thought provoking.

And it made me want to be sure I at least tried to do something that, in the end, was visible.

So.

You may not like the book (Rat Girl).

And you may not like Kristen Hersh’s music.

But, boy, you gotta like how she takes some really complex thoughts and breaks them down into some really simple words.

Thank you Kristen.

to be yourself or nobody

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.

- ee cummings

Just when I think the battle to be yourself ends when you have gained a certain maturity and finding a place in time when you are “comfortable in your own skin” and whatever success you have attained (which creates at least some affirmation that “yourself’ has some merit) I am reminded that good ole ee was right … it is the hardest battle and you never have to stop fighting a world doing its best to make you like everyone else.

Ok.

To be clear. I am not talking about doubting yourself.

This is about being distinct as an individual … and facing those who maybe don’t want you to be like everybody else … they just want you to be like them.

Here’s the deal.

ee  never worked in an organization (as a poet he worked for himself).

So maybe he missed out on the business organization aspect. Because, sure, the world does its best to make you like everybody else but in the business world you often face leaders who try and wear you down seeking to ‘do it my way.’

Well.

Sometimes that is okay (I am not suggesting it is always wrong).

But I sometimes see organizations do their best to take their best & brightest (who are often the most distinct) and constantly do their best to recreate them in a likeness of themselves.

For young people this is often what I caution them to be cognizant of:

Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities which he does not possess, and to gain applause which he cannot keep. ~Samuel Johnson, The Rambler, 1750

Applause is a tantalizing mistress.

And sure. On occasion you may be able to walk in someone else’s shoes and be comfortable … but the most comfortable will always be your own.

And just as each day you put your shoes on and head out we all need to learn to put “yourself” on and head out every day.

And be comfortable.

Oh. And put on a personality & character Kevlar vest.

Because this is a tricky one in the business world.

And I do believe it matters what age/experience you are.  Well.  At least in terms of what issues your Kevlar vest is trying to deflect.

Younger people are still being molded as well as molding/shaping themselves. So, in general, they are protecting their soul as well as some core of distinctness that kind of makes them who they are (they may get confused at times by mistaking external – how I dress and how I speak – as core distinctness but that is a different post for another day).

But older people have a more solid ‘mold’ and have to be more careful when choosing who to work for, work with and the culture of the organization.

I am not sure this is the best advice to give anyone but I tend to like ‘black & white’ thoughts more because … well … they draw a clear line you can see when considering where to step:

It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not. ~Andre Gide

In the end I guess what I am saying is … if you cannot be yourself, who you truly are, day in and day out … at work and not at work … you really kind of become … well … nobody. Harsh thought? Well, yeah. But sometimes truth is harsh. Oh. And sometimes truth is enlightening … and freeing.

So. Maybe I should end this way …. at minimum … choose to at least know who ‘yourself’ is. Then at least you know what choice you end up making between what you are and what you are not.

fearless work

Creativity is a tricky thing.

Having been involved in the creativity business in some form for over 20 years I recognize that the best of the creative best are … well … part insecure … and part fearless.

And it’s the fearless part that I am going to write about because I saw this quote somewhere.

“I seek fearless work that challenges me”

-          choreographer Martha Graham

This is good stuff.

This is the kind of stuff not for the faint of heart.

And, frankly, this is the kind of stuff for few people.

Because this quote is indicative of someone whose heart lies in doing fearless work.

Oh.

Fearless work means being fearless of failure.

Fearless work does NOT mean doing something wacky just for wacky sake.

Oh. But that is the first thing people who condone fearless work bring up.

You hear words like “stupid” or “what were they thinking” or “I could have told them it wouldn’t work <or be popular or be liked>.”

In my mind those are words of people who fear work that looks fearless. This fear can be disguised as a variety of things … discomfort in something new … misunderstanding … lack of ability to recognize something.

Whatever.

This is about people who actually DO the fearless work. Because people who seek to do fearless work recognize several things:

-          how difficult it is (even though it may seem simple to the creators)

-          how unpopular it may be

-          when to stop being unpopular (the guard rails in fearless creativity)

in fact. I am going to use someone else who pursued fearless work to make the point. Kristen Hersh. The Rat Girl. One of the founding members of The Throwing Muses.

A teen I may add (just to make another point that teens can often be wiser beyond their years).

Here is what she said about the difficulty of pursuing fearless work:

“do you know how hard it is to not know how to sound like other bands? There aren’t any lessons to teach you how to do this and no one can help us figure out what <to play>. It’s hard to learn something that no one can teach you.” – Kristen Hersh

Actually.

I wish I could share this with anyone who is critical of any original idea so they could think about the fact someone is doing something that was self taught … because here was no one to teach).

Sometimes doing fearless work is difficult because you are forging your own path.  There are no lessons.  There are no rules.  There are no guardrails. In fact. The real difficulty is knowing when to put up your own guard rails.  Knowing when to stop innovating and just be … well .. creative with fearless work.

Kristen, as a 19 year old teen, pursued fearless work and did some amazing stuff (along with her fellow teen and musical genius in her own right … Tonya Donnelly).

Anyway.  I think the fearless ones tend to hear and see things the rest of us don’t. In simplistic terms it is only popular in their own heads.

And unfortunately for the fearless there is only a minority who truly understands what they are doing:

(Kristen Hersh) … “but we play unpopular music.”

(producer) …

“that’s exactly what you play because you’re inventing something. You’re gonna be hugely influential.”

I do believe the best of the fearless best recognize that what they do is unpopular to the majority.

They may not like it. They may not embrace it.  But they understand it. And fight their way through it.

Because it is a fact.

All the truly influential fearless creators didn’t have it easy early on.  They were creating something … inventing something.

In their fearless work they were paving the way for people to think differently, see differently … just experience something different.  Yeah, I know, that is what being influential is all about.  But that doesn’t make it any easier.

Fearless work is often unpopular initially.

But there is a difference between bad unpopular and influential unpopular.

Good fearless is about understanding the guardrails.

Oh. Yeah. Those guard rails.

So how do the fearless know when to stop innovating?

“when you start to suck, stop” – Kristen Hersh

Sounds simple … but I believe the best of the fearless best have an internal quality control.  In the mind’s of the ‘less mature’ innovative thinking maybe the guard rails are less defined. But. In the best of the fearless best they have that inner barometer to recognize what sucks and what doesn’t suck.

Oh.

And before we start putting too much weight on ‘less mature’ and associating it with age I would like to remind you that Kristen said this last quote when she was 19 (oh, these smart teens as I like to remind those wise stodgy adults).

Like I just said.

The best of the fearless best have an inner barometer.  They are born with it. They are born with the guardrails.

But this doesn’t mean there isn’t fear.

Even the fearless creative people have fear.

Everyone has fear (lest we forget).

We fear the idea of something more than the thing itself.”  Steve Chandler

Fearless work means loving the idea of something more than fearing the thing itself. I imagine that thought encapsulates most good things in life. But in this case those who pursue fearless work have overcome their fear in pursuit of what is good fearless work.

Martha Graham.

Kristen Hersh.

A number of other people whose quotes I just didn’t use.

All pursued fearless work.

And created beautiful things.

And influenced how the rest of us looked at things and listened to things.

As for you & i?

All we can do is …

Act.

Do.

Create.

And seek our own version of fearless work.

And in the end maybe we are lucky enough to positively influence people.

And, at its best, maybe we actually be influential.

tolkein part 1: living & adventures

So.

IMAGINATION_by_archanN

I have been a JRR Tolkien and Lord of the Rings/Hobbit fan since grade school when one ambitious teacher read us The Hobbit during reading time (in whatever grade someone has reading time).

I was fascinated by the battles and the drama and the cast of characters.  My imagination went wild with the possibilities and I would guess The Hobbit was one of the first “adult” books I picked up and read on my own when I was old enough.

Looking back … I guess I have always found joy in the metaphorical aspect of all the Tolkien books (and loved drawing the correlations).

But it was The Hobbitt that originally tweaked that understanding and began my love of words and framing of words.

It was this book that opened the door in my mind where I understood books were not just words but thoughts.

And I could probably blame Tolkien for my sense of imagination and some of the ways I view things.

Anyway.

What I really value is that he made me realize good authors/writers didn’t just write things down in some willy nilly fashion.

That authors wote with a thought. And that it was a mistake to take the words at face value but rather it was worth taking some time to understand the meaning behind the words … the messages and the lessons to be learned.

In the beginning, my impressionable youth, it probably took me a number of years to begin breaking down the metaphors into distinct conceptual quotes and truly understanding the genius of Tolkein.

ok.

Enough on all that.

As with any well written fantasy book the Lord of the Rings is strewn with a number of great quotes and soundbite thoughts.

Really thoughtful thoughts.

Not “elvin” thoughts or thoughts using some wacky made up language or simly unrealistic fantasy-like thoughts … but life thoughts.

Here are some of my favorites:

“Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.” – Gandalf

This thought is huge.

And not all people may buy it. Mostly because it is always difficult to believe that good people shouldn’t have the opportunity to fulfill their potential “good” destiny.  And it becomes even more difficult when you observe obviously ‘not good’ living a long life dispensing ‘not good things’ as freely as loose cards from a dozen decks of cards.

But. It is too simplistic to suggest the bad deserve to die and the good deserve to live. Because, frankly, life isn’t all good nor is it all bad.

Anyway.

I guess the bigger thought here is that we judge people ‘as is’ (or as they are)and estimate ‘what will be (or what could be) and .. well … judge.

You can’t.

Sorry.

But you can’t.

Even the best of hearts can be cracked by life.

Even the worst of souls can find redemption.

Regardless.

Gandalf reminds us we shouldn’t be too eager to use death in judgment for bad .. or good. Why? Because, whether we like it or not … “not good” people serve a role in life.

One big role is that it is in the conflict between good people and bad people therein lies the growth of “what should be.”

Think about it.

In those who live, that deserve death, we see vivid demonstrations to remind us of “what shouldn’t be.” And in those who die, who seemingly deserved life because of goodness, it is a harsh reminder that those of us remaining have a responsibility to uphold that “which should be.”

Ok. The quote.

I do know I read this quote several times before I fully grasped it.

And, in fact, I may still be searching for the real truth within.

Regardless. No matter how wise I may become … I cannot see all ends.

And I certainly cannot judge who deserves death and who doesn’t (no matter how much I would like to).

And I think it is either silly, or selfish, to dwell on ‘what could have been’ even with who may be seemingly the best of the best.

In the end?

Try not to judge people. And judge your own life by what you are doing … because you cannot see the end. The end arrives … well … when it wants to arrive not when we choose.

Next.

“It is not your own Shire. Others dwelt here before hobbits were, and others will dwell here again when hobbits are no more. The wide world is not all about you: you can fence yourselves in, but you cannot for ever fence it out.” – Gildor Inglorion

The big thought: “The world is not all about you.”

Wow.

If the Shire were America, and Gildor shared this thought, could you see the ole blogosphere lighting up like a roman candle?

Ignorance is a fence.

And isolationism is living within that fence.

That is fencing yourself from the unknown.

I won’t suggest it’s out of fear or any number of actually good reasons … but isolating yourself (personally or as a country) is never good.

Anyway.

I think the bigger thought here is that we need to always remind ourselves that we today represent a past .. and that we are probably a blip in history (or what will be).

I guess the reason why this quote resonates with me today is that Americans are REALLY focused on what is seemingly “our problems”.

And I guess they should be (I do know I care …. but …) but this quote is a reminder that all in which we live in should have some perspective. What happens in our community is important .. but it is simply one cog in the bigger global wheel.

Bottom line?

Yeah. What you & your community is facing is important.  And needs to be dealt with.

But burying your head in your own community means losing sight of the forest. And the issues that reside in the forest. And, frankly, the things the forest can bring to bear against your own little tree in the woods.

The cycle of time brings an end to everything … only to bring a beginning to another. You may as well step beyond your own shire at some point. And that’s not about being adventurous … that is simply about living life.

Ah.

But what about adventures …

“Don’t adventures ever have an end? I suppose not. Someone else always has to carry on the story.” – Bilbo

Adventures are fun to write about.

Especially when you talk about beginning or end.

Because … well .. in my eyes .. true adventures never do end.  I could have included another thought … “in each end there is a beginning, and each beginning there is an end.”

A truth.

Life is an adventure. Or a series of adventures.  (that is if you elect to look at it this way)

Peoples’ lives end but life doesn’t. Someone is always there to carry on.

Think about it.

Someone is always an extension of the past. No one is totally new.

Your own adventure is simply something you have found a passion for that exists and you are carrying it on … for someone else to pick up again one day and carry it on.

We are all just a chapter in a bigger story.

Never lose sight of that fact.

So ends this chapter of thought.

tolkien Part 2: glittering & wandering

Ok.

What I said to open Tolkien part 1 still stands (I just didn’t want to repeat it). Here are 2 more stanzas from Lord of the Rings I like:

“all that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.”

- ancient verses of Elvish prophecy

This is one of my favorite quotes of all time.

And it is probably my most used.

While many use the first couplet I like the entire stanza.

Part A. “not all those who wander are lost.”

Maybe because it seems a reflection of me …. maybe its because I think it is a reflection of a lot f people … I use this time and time again when teaching some high school classes and talk with students about their future and making plans and knowing what the hell they are going to do with their lives.

I have written about this thought ad nausea but the truth is that not everyone knows their “destination.”

Particularly in youth.

It takes time to figure out not only what you are good at but what makes you happy (which may not be the same thing) as well as what feeds your life vitality (the shit that makes waking up every morning fun).

People wander. Ok.  Not all do … but those who do tend to be some pretty interesting people (not necessarily the most successful … but interesting).

I often use this clip from the old tv show Felicity to make this point:

-          (this is called “ben’s big mom speech … and yes … I am actually using a clip from Felicity to make a point here … http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_OYgh1_MZA and the actual scene is 1:39 to 3:48 … it says it perfectly)

Ben: “I’d like to think that people take a good look at me before they make up their minds… He’s this guy, he doesn’t know what he wants to be yet, and he doesn’t have a major yet, he’s got his dad as this dark character … has a drinking problem.

I’m not really selling myself here, am I? … Look I understand why you guys needed to see Felicity with someone like Noel… I mean, he’s obviously gonna make it. And probably long before, I mean, I figure out what I ‘m gonna be in my life. But I always remember this one thing my teacher said, which was, all these people she knew they had no idea what they were gonna do with their lives when they were twenty. So, chances are, I’m gonna turn out to be a pretty interesting guy.

It’s a great clip.

And says what many of us at that age felt … even though we were still wandering. What do I mean? Well. The wanderer usually feels like there is something wrong with themselves (and adults are typically fairly quick to suggest just that). I imagine the danger is in defending yourself you stop seeking a destination and revel in the seeming rebellion of wandering.

Regardless.

Wandering doesn’t mean you are lost.

You may simply be discovering.

And all that discovery is needed to make whatever gold you have in you shine.

Time just needs to buff away the dullness a little.

Next.

Part B … “deep roots are not reached by frost.”

Well.

As I have grown older I have grown a larger appreciation for this part.

The first couplet is brilliantly crafted but inevitably I believe the genius of Tolkien was putting the two couplets together.

For the deep roots are found in your soul. This is that life vitality stuff I talk about a lot.

Deep roots is the shit you care about.

Your passion.

Your soul.

The kind of stuff that no matter how much someone may challenge or try to make sound silly … well .. they are your deep roots.

Here is the tricky part.

I think deep roots takes time.

And I don’t mean cultural roots or family roots … I mean personal roots.

Unfortunately (as I tell young people) you don’t get deep <healthy> roots until you are older.

A young person may have an old soul …. but only life experience creates deep roots.

But.

Its worth the wait.

Because even in the coldest and darkest of time … deep roots can never be touched by frost.  Which means they will grow again.

Ok. Moving on.

The last Tolkien saying in part 2 … it seemed appropriate to end with this one.

I am a self-anointed nomad.

I am most happy when home is simply where I hang my hat for the moment. And sometimes that is a difficult thing to explain to people because it seems like the majority like the comfort of home … and the stability that comes with it.  I find homes confining. I find settling constricting. I find comfort in roaming. I find the unknown freeing.

So.

With that said … roaming and leaving places always reminds me of this Tolkien stanza:

“The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

Still round the corner there may wait,

A new road or a secret gate.”

-              Elvish verse

To me (and I know I am in the minority on this) Life is all about “still around the corner there may wait a new road or a secret gate.”

I thrive in the fact that we don’t really know how each day will unfold.

The fact that every day something will happen.

And every day somethings we expect and somethings we don’t will happen.

And, to me, that’s what makes Life interesting.

What you cannot see around the corner.

That new road.

Or that secret gate.

The unknown.

To me each step in life is driven on by curiosity and the joy of discovery. And then not settling with that discovery but rather pocketing it as a new experience and immediately stepping back out on the road seeking the next gate, door or errand …. ‘pursuing it with eager feet’ as it may be.

Look.

I don’t lie to myself and believe everyone feels this way.

But I do talk about it as often as I can.

Because everyone should at least try it once in a while.

Ok. That’s it.

These are just some of my favorite quotable moments but all his books are chockfull of thoughtful literary moments.

Read Tolkien.

Read any literature.

Whatever.

What I know for sure is if you read, and you think about what you read, you can gain perspective on things in a way you maybe have never thought of them ever before.

most powerful weapon

“The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire” – Marshal Fochs.

Ok.

Even though I am pretty sure that the Marshal said this about soldiers and their ability to face the bullets (of which I have always admired and thank god every day that there are people like that on ‘my side’) I am going to use this quote to discuss everyday life and, well, happiness.

Yup. Everyday life and the power of passion and belief and, to me, happiness (which is the most powerful weapon on earth).

Huh? Happiness? Soul on fire? Passion?

Yeah… this is about happiness by elevating the soul of a human to fire … and in every day life. And I do mean every day life.

Wow. Seems like a great thought (concept?) to me. especially as a new year begins.

But is it just a thought … a dream?

I ask the question because I have an answer.

It isn’t just a dream. It happens. And it actually happens every day to everyone.

It’s just that maybe sometimes we miss it because we seek to see the “enough passion that I ran over the hill risking the first bullet” type measurements when in fact maybe it is the pursuit and in the moments.

Think about it.

This idea of ‘happiness every day’ (at least in moments) is attainable … because it is actually something called ‘flow’ (being in the zone). Flow, as defined by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi a psychologist/researcher, is the mental state of operation in which a person in an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity.

According to Csíkszentmihályi, flow is completely focused motivation. “It is a single-minded immersion and represents perhaps the ultimate in harnessing the emotions in the service of performing and learning. In flow, the emotions are not just contained and channeled, but positive, energized, and aligned with the task at hand.”

Ok. I am going to apologize to Mihaly now because I am going to use his thinking to discuss my thinking (on happiness).

Is it possible I am making happiness to complicated b y incorporating this idea of Flow?

I don’t think so.  In fact I believe thinking about happiness this way, well, simplifies it.

Happiness is more about moments of “soul on fire” and flow.

It is truly a simple concept. People who find ‘flow’ in their everyday lives have a tendency to have found something that ‘sets their soul on fire’ (in some form or fashion) and ultimately have found the most powerful weapon on earth … happiness.

So lets talk about why people may not recognize it, why they should recognize it … and what all this ‘momenst of flow’ is all about.

People may not recognize it because there is a seeming lack a clear purpose when spending time at home with the family or alone. The popular assumption is that no skills are involved in enjoying free time, and that anybody can do it.

Yet the evidence suggests the opposite. Research shows that free time is more difficult to enjoy than work. Apparently, our nervous system has evolved to attend to external signals, but has not had time to adapt to long periods without obstacles and dangers. Unless one learns how to use this time effectively, having leisure at one’s disposal does not improve the quality of life.

In other words … free time doesn’t lend itself to ‘flow moments’ therefore it is more difficult to attain overt happiness within free time.

Research also shows that leisure time in our society is occupied by three major sorts of activities: media consumption, conversation, and active leisure (hobbies, making music, going to restaurants and movies, sports, and exercise).

Not all of these free-time activities are the same in their potential for flow. For example, U.S. teenagers experience flow about 13 percent of the time that they spend watching television, 34 percent of the time they do hobbies, and 44 percent of the time they are involved in sports and games. Yet these same teenagers spend at least four times more of their free hours watching TV than doing hobbies or sports. Please note (before anyone begins slamming today’s teens … similar ratios are true for adults).

Well. Ok.  If happiness defines our lives why the heck would we elect to spend our time doing the above activity ratios?

In other words … why would we spend four times more of our free time doing something that has less than half the chance of making us feel good?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh … work. Investment.

Each of the flow-producing activities requires an initial investment of attention before it begins to be enjoyable. If a person is too tired, anxious, or lacks the discipline to overcome that initial obstacle, people tend to settle … take the path of least ‘work’ … and in the end does something that is less enjoyable but is more easily accessible.

Look.

I am not suggesting relaxing is bad. Everyone needs time to unwind, to read mindlessly or sit staring into space dreaming or watching TV …. what matters is the dosage.

In a German study it was found that the more often people report reading books, the more flow experiences they claim to have, while the opposite trend was found for watching television.

Well.

In general I would agree with this but I would challenge them on that tv watching factoid (and generating flow experiences).

Let me begin with the fact I believe flow is generated by knowledge (not just skill) and mind investment (either conscious or subconscious … although I would further suggest that ultimate flow is when both are aligned).

Even relationships can gain flow moments (I call it “being in sync”) not related to emotion but rather a higher order of understanding. Anyway. That said … I would suggest to the researchers that there are maybe 3 tiers of television watching (and I would bet there are tiers of flow based on what people watch).  Because even TV watching can feed knowledge.

Tier 1 is active knowledge learning.  This is straightforward learning stuff … Engineering an Empire on History Channel, PBS, some Biography segments … things that teach and share historical perspective.

Tier 2 is active life learning. I call it ‘smart TV.’ Maybe Bones, West Wing, The Wire on HBO or MI5 on BBC.

Things that break down issues within a thoughtful challenging construct.  Maybe they take some things in every day life and give some perspective.  I would even argue for teens that shows like Felicity, O.C. and One Tree Hill took real life issues and brought them to life in entertaining ways teaching relationship and dealing with life lessons.

Tier 3 is passive mindless drivel. Reality shows, Bachelorette, Desperate Whatever, American Idol …. Shows that take no thinking and teach nothing.

Sorry. I digress a little to make a point.

There is a relationship between learning/skills, flow moments and ultimately happiness.  And there is NO formula for gathering learning/skills.

Books? Love it.

But TV? Can be just as good. I see research like I shared above and it drives me a little nuts in that it disregards the fact that today’s world permits people so many ways, positive ways, to pursue what input modes that work best for them in order to fill the potential ‘flow pot.’

Regardless.

Flow, and happiness, takes some thinking upfront to establish the ‘higher highs.’

Mihaly, through his research, discovered that Flow tends to occur when a person faces a clear set of goals that require appropriate responses. It is easy to enter flow in games such as chess, tennis, or poker, because they have goals and rules that make it possible for the player to act without questioning what should be done, and how. For the duration of the game the player lives in a self-contained universe where everything is black and white. The same clarity of goals is present if you perform a religious ritual, play a musical piece, weave a rug, write a computer program, climb a mountain, or perform surgery. In contrast to normal life, these “flow activities” allow a person to focus on goals that are clear and compatible, and provide immediate feedback.

Flow also happens when a person’s skills are fully involved in overcoming a challenge that is just about manageable, so it acts as a magnet for learning new skills and increasing challenges. If challenges are too low, one gets back to flow by increasing them. If challenges are too great, one can return to the flow state by learning new skills.

With all that said I would suggest that there is ‘entering flow’ and ‘maintaining flow.’

It takes something to get into it … an obstacle … a ‘something’ that elevates you to that state … but staying in it? Well.

Its not about the obstacles or always overcoming something … happiness can be derived by maintaining it.  And by maintaining I don’t mean by hours or days … but rather it can be those special moments (although, for example, it can be hours … just think of that relationship where you just did something together that was effortless and where it was just ‘right’). Those special moments are also Flow. Flow in that we seek to recreate again at some point (and at the same time it is silly of us to desire to have that 24/7).

Anyway.

How often do people experience flow? If you ask a sample of typical Americans, “Do you ever get involved in something so deeply that nothing else seems to matter and you lose track of time?” roughly one in five will say that this happens to them as much as several times a day, whereas about 15 percent will say that this never happens to them (these numbers seem to be quite stable and universal).

The struggle with personal happiness tends to not be the fact we have Flow moments but rather perspective:

The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be”- Marcel Pagnol

Flow moments are flashes of intense living against the dull background of everyday life.

These moments are flow experiences – a sense of effortless action they feel in moments that stand out as the best in their lives.

It is an understanding of flow that makes us happy in life. In other words we can be happy experiencing the passive pleasure of a rested body, warm sunshine, or the contentment of a relationship in sinc. It sounds good but it is complex. Complex in that the happiness that follows flow is of our own making, and it takes a deepened sense of understanding of what makes us happy.

Just as the leisure time discussion earlier … we need to make a conscious decision on how we will view happiness before we can … well … be happy in the end.

But.

Lets think about this (because here is the good news).

Almost any activity can produce flow so it is possible to improve the quality of your happiness by making sure that the conditions of flow are a constant part of everyday life.

Now.  Once again. That doesn’t mean every minute or every second … even every hour.  Just maybe … well … every day at some point.

Maybe happiness resides in the pursuit. In combination with moments.

“Sometimes what you want isn’t always what you get, but in the end what you get is so much better than what you wanted.” – Caitlin the teen blogger

So. Is this seeking passion? Maybe. Maybe that is what ‘flow’ (or being in the zone) is all about. Its being within a moment of some type of passion.

Some internal personal centered heightened sense of ‘what is most important to me.”

“It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.”- Dale Carnegie

Well.

Maybe good ole Dale is right.

But maybe it isn’t just what you think about … but how you think about it (that is just a Bruce thought for my readers).

Buddhists advise us to “act always as if the future of the universe depended on what you did, while laughing at yourself for thinking that whatever you do makes any difference.”

This serious thought balanced with a sense of humble perspective suggests it possible to be both engaged and relaxed at the same time.

And isn’t that what flow really about? Being serious about something you are passionate about and performing at whatever your own personal highest level?

And if that is Flow … well .. doesn’t that make you happiest?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm … setting your soul on fire.

Seek the moments of ‘flow’ in your day.

And I bet you will find happiness. The most powerful weapon in the world.