Posts tagged vancouver
Olympic Update 3
Feb 23rd
This Snowboarding Pipe Smoking Thing
This whole snowboarding thing is very cool but I still haven’t figured out why it’s an Olympic event. I know several past college friends treated their pipes as Olympic athletes…but…well…another post. Anyway. This Shaun White kid is called the “Flying Tomato.” Awesome. Could you imagine someone having that nickname in the NFL?
He won his second men’s Olympic half pipe (and what exactly is a full pipe…oh…that’s for the plumber Olympics) gold medal Wednesday with a “conservative” first run. I watched this conservative thing and I am not sure how he didn’t land on his head several times let alone just get plain dizzy. On the other hand he may have landed on his head but kept snowboarding and they gave him points for that. So. Once again another Olympic sport that has wacky scoring. He could have won the gold medal just on his first run alone. But they make you do the second run, even though it doesn’t matter … in other words he could done a figure skating routine on his second run and they still would have given him a gold. (WTF?). If the rules allowed it, his first run score of 46.8 would have earned him a silver medal, too.
Anyway. His second run the announcer was so flabbergasted (I love typing that word) with all his Tasmanian Devil whirling dervish tricks they couldn’t keep up with identifying them. Afterwards they told us it was a “super-sized Double McTwist 1260, two back flips with 3.5 rotations of his board and a double cork”. Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Right. He’s 23 and owns a Lamborghini. I would walk over to my closest McDonalds and order a dozen double McTwists if I could have a Lamborghini.
Olympic Crying
After American skater Evan Lysacek(above, far right) finished his moving short program on Tuesday night, he was overcome by emotion. In the area where they sit and stare while the scores come up (what other sport do you sit there and watch while the judges make up the scores?), he wiped away tears. And you wonder why they call this area the “Kiss and Cry” area (what a manly place for all the male skaters).
The USA figure skating coach (who supports Greco-Roman wrestling in the Summer Olympics where they never cry but do rub up against other men) was embarrassed by Lysacek’s behavior “I kept wanting to say, ‘Stop it. Stop it. I’m very stoic, very disciplined. I think of the ski jumpers: when they do well they don’t start to cry. Let’s put it this way: I don’t like figure skaters to cry, but it was an emotional moment. I’m not saying crying is horrible, but I would rather him stop.”
Unfortunately for the coach one of his other skaters, Mirai Nagasu, is also considered a champion crier.
In the end, after several sob sessions following competitions, the USA coach put his foot down and instituted a “no crying rule.” (good luck dude).
What makes me cry? When I read things like this about men’s ice skating … “You have about 10 brilliant boys in the world who are looking at each other wondering …” said the USA coach Frank Carroll.
Olympic Condoms
The Olympic condom count at the Athlete’s Village at the Olympics is 100,000. For comparison during the 2000 Olympics in Sydney, organizers ordered 70,000 and had to order an additional 20,000 (uh. That’s 90,000 total if you don’t have your abacus). Beijing ordered 100,000 in 2008 with the Olympic motto, “faster, higher, stronger” on them.
(oh my)
So. With the 100,000 condom count in Vancouver it translates to slightly more than 14 for each player, trainer, official and coach. But I believe teammates are allowing unused ‘ones’ to be ‘used’ by more active teammates. (therefore active athletes are totaling 19+ condoms for the Village sports)
In addition the USA Curling team is co-sponsored by the “Hurry Hard’ condoms so they didn’t order any getting all their’s for free.
In a follow up story, Playboy is awarding bronze, silver and gold medals to the athletes who have used the most condoms.
Uniforms
I have already taken a look at some of the curling “uniforms” in my curling Olympic post (they would have to guarantee me a medal to wear some of them). But figure skating is taking it to a completely new level. I believe it is the Russian skaters who brought out their formal “aboriginal” costumes (which drew rebuke from Australian Aboriginal leaders as well as the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy team – although I did hear Britney Spears has asked if she could use the costumes on her next tour stop in Fond du Lac).
The skaters, Oksana Domnina and Maxim Shabalin (I don’t buy that those are their real names …) skated in brown toned body suits augmented by red loin cloths, white striping and artificial leaves. It has been noted that Aboriginal leaders in Australia criticized the costumes as inauthentic and offensive. (I will admit I was slightly surprised that the aborigines were high viewers of figure skating).
“I’d like to say it’s not possible to do a 100% authentic folk dance on the skates. It has required elements … and we have some restrictions in our costumes. I can’t skate without pants like some aboriginal people.” says either Domnina or Shabalin I cannot tell them apart. Awesome stuff.
Another Olympics Update: This Curling Thing
Feb 22nd
First. No curling irons are involved. They use something called “stones’ (not testicles so don’t worry).
Second. C’mon. This is shuffleboard on ice. That’s it. Why don’t they just call it that? Oh. Because it’s the Olympics and we need to call it something cooler. Ok. It’s Curling. And last week Curling sprinted into the forefront of the Olympics – “Canada tops Norway in curling crowd-pleaser at Winter Olympics.”
As you can see below this is a serious sport (but the humongous green circles on the ice are a little disconcerting). In this match “there were some dicey moments en route to the victory.” (not my words .. I believe it was the Vancouver Times). In a fascinating match the Canadians raced (I use that term quite loosely … think snails at their fastest) to a 5-1 lead through four ends (ends are simply when they have all their rocks together at one end … ok … stop laughing). I believe they have 10 ends in a match.
Oh. Please let this post end … why did I start this?
They use terms like ‘skip’ (I have no clue what it means) and there are two sweepers with brooms on each side of the smooth granite stone as it slides, vibrating the ice as it slides down the lane. The strategy is to knock the opponent’s stone out of the scoring area. The goal is to get the stone closest to the center of the target called the house.
Only fans with stones show up to cheer.
Oh.
Let me take that back.
Some of the contestants have to have stones to wear uniforms like this:
A Moment of Silence and Olympics Perspective
Feb 16th
A couple of things about the death of the Georgian luge athlete at the Olympics.
First. I doubt anyone in the Olympic family will ever read my little blog but if they do everyone should know I wrote my comments about luge and bobsledding before this incredibly sad event at the Olympics. Flippantly comparing bobsledding and luging to NASCAR crashes, while certainly meant in purely an entertainment way, in light of a real death seems an incredible lack of understanding on my part. One would hope in the future I could articulate my thoughts without having to stoop to cheap comparisons like the one I did.
Second. If you ever doubt the emotion of an event like this just watch Jacques Rogge, a Belgian Count, who is the eighth and current president of the International Olympic Committee (IOC). While European men are so typically stoic, Rogge shows so much compassion and grief and tears during the press announcement it is even more touching. It is one of those unexpected heart wrenching moments that punctuate the humanness of top level sports as well as the dangers that accompany performing at the highest levels.
No parent should ever have to bury their child. And even more so on the cusp of one of their proudest moments.
Reflections on the demise of the Olympics
Feb 12th
I was surprised yesterday morning watching SportsCenter that the opening ceremonies for the Winter Olympics are today (Feb. 12th).
Shit. I didn’t even know where the games were being played.
(Vancouver … or better said … “somewhere in Canada”)
So. I went to the website to check it out. A little confusing (because the Olympics claim to be all about “with glowing hearts” … huh? … and Canada is all about “together in 2010” … which makes me think they were apart in all the other years … anyway). But. They do have some very cool merchandise so you can act like you went there. And maybe even supported it. Once again. anyway.
So. What’s happened to the Olympics? (big sigh here)
I remember when the Olympics was truly “appointment viewing.” And it was a source of country pride. Did we win more medals then the evil Soviets or luging Germans (who the heck decides to become a luge expert?) or those Swiss knife-wielding skiers.
I believe the Olympic Games have lost their allure. Before I say why i believe it is so I wanted to reminisce a little. Reminisce about why I loved the Winter Olympics (am going to stick with Winter reasons and not Summer) and maybe we can ponder why we don’t have these gems anymore. (and I will offer a reason why at the end):
- Awesome reason number 1. Eddie the Eagle. Crazy Eddie.
He soared like a dodo, but Britain’s Michael “Eddie The Eagle” Edwards endeared himself to fans at the Calgary ski jumping competition (really, who remembers that Matti Nykänen won three golds? Plus, he was later thrown in jail for stabbing a man in the back). The plasterer with the oversized glasses was comically inept: Edwards, describing his first forays into ski jumping, said: “When I looked from the top of the jump, I was so frightened that my bum shriveled into a prune.” He finished dead last, but not dead.
The non awesome? Because of Eddie the Eagle, I assume the Olympics went into the “law suit avoidal muscle spasms” they changed the rules and countries cannot simply enter people because they want to enter someone in an event. They actually have to qualify. What bullshit. If Sudan wants to enter a dance figure skating team, let ‘em. I don’t care. It’s the Olympics.
- All those Swiss/Austrian/Whatever skiers.
Ah. The Olympic skiers. Franz Klammer was a hero in Austria. A winner of 8 of 9 World Cup downhill races in 1975. The guy was fast. Really fast. And fearless.
Oh. And then there was Italy’s Alberto “La Bomba” Tomba, big talker (“I am the new messiah of skiing,” he once said), and an ever bigger playboy. The 1988 Games were one big party. He toyed with the competition. Right before going out of the giant slalom start gate, he turned to all the other nervous skiers and said “O.K., boys, keep calm. And good luck to all.” He blew the field away, then won the slalom two days later. He spent the rest of the Games sipping champagne, posing for the camera, and trying to woo Katarina Witt, the East Germany beauty who won the figure skating gold that year.
Next. The Austrian guy Hermann Maier. “He could be dead, right?” During the downhill competition, off a steep turn, he flew 30 feet into the air before landing on his helmet and crashing through two fences. He settled on a patch of snow far off the run. After lying still for a few minutes, Maier walked away from the cartoonish crash with just a bruised left shoulder and sprained right knee. Three days later, with the memory of the downhill disaster dogging his concentration, Maier won the Super-G. “Maybe he really is an alien, I don’t know,” his girlfriend, Petra Wechselberger, remarked. Three days after that, he took Giant Slalom gold. Awesome stuff.
And in my memory it began with the name. One man’s name. Debonair skiing sensation Jean-Claude Killy. He owned the 1968 Games, held in his native France and owned downhill skiing for years.
Hey. I am all for Americans stepping up to the competition but please bring back these mysterious, blond haired, glacier eyed, carefree playboy Austrians who bring a little flair and charisma and less American bombast to the sport. Plus. Their crashes are pretty spectacular.
- Ice skating.
All that ice skating judging crap. C’mon. Russian judges scoring Americans like they didn’t even watch. French judges being coerced. While having men in tight outfits doing something called a “camel” doesn’t float my boat, there is something tense about a 3 minute program conducted on a very very thin blade of metal that makes it worthwhile as long as you know the judging is crap and you can yell at the TV (and when would I EVER envision yelling at a television over ice skating? Answer: never). There is Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding. Sonja Henie. Bad music. Silly costumes. What makes this awesome is most of us have no clue how they are judged, the judges have no clue how to judge and the skaters are trying to impress all of us. The sheer randomness of this event makes it all worthwhile.
- Ice Hockey.
We all know the story. Set against the backdrop of the Cold War, the United States took on the heavily favored Soviet Union team in men’s ice hockey in 1980. I cannot remember any other ice hockey Olympic game I have watched since. Who cares. Olympics were made for a once in a lifetime Olympics story like this.
- Bobsled and Luge.
WTF. Even better, is “Luge” isn’t even recognized as a word in my spell check. So. Of course there is the Jamaican bobsled team story (the bad movie Cool Runnings). More importantly is when else do you ever watch someone (or two) sit flat on their back or on their stomach and go 100+ miles per hour on a flexible flyer on sheer ice. And actually watch. This is like watching NASCAR on ice just waiting for the crash. All the good teams are from countries you think have the coolest flags but have no clue where they are. And, once again, how does one decide that they are going to become the best “bobsledder” in the world? We would never know if it wasn’t for the Olympics.
So. With all these great things why don’t we care about the Olympics anymore? (Beyond the fact they have eliminated any possibility of another Eddie the Eagle type participant):
In the battle for relevance I am not sure the right side is winning.
Will I ever care for or watch the Biathlon? Nope. I am not sure I will ever care there is someone out there that can ski a zillion miles and still stop and shoot the eye out of a squirrel unless World War 3 rolls around (then I am gonna wish our guys are better). But who cares? It’s one of those nifty random things that make the Olympics special. I would rather someone try and make this skiing/shooting thing cool rather than bring in some new cool TV viewing activity and relegate the skiing/shooting thing to some obscure corner of Canada. I believe in our attempt to keep the Olympics “up-to-date” and relevant to a “new viewing audience” we have started including some very non-Olympic like activities. Just make the old school stuff cool and we get back to Olympics basics. Let’s teach the “new viewing audience” what was cool about what we already had.
The pros have diminished the randomness.
I won’t argue the whole higher moral value of amateurs competing. Rather, let me argue that bringing in obvious pros has diminished the event in another way (although the first one is valid also).
Similar to college basketball to pro basketball there is always a little randomness, humanness, maturity struggle, whatever that made the Olympics special. Sure. There were always “veterans” and they performed with that veteran experience but even they on occasion got knocked around by some young upstart who didn’t know any better who got caught up in the moment. Allowing professional athletes is killing the Olympics. Do I know where to draw the line? Nope. Allowing professional skiers in Olympics? Yeah. I am ok with that. Professional basketball players? Nope. Professional tennis players? Shit. I don’t think tennis should even be an Olympics sport. But. If it is? No pros (on the tour). Tennis club pros? Sure. That would be a blast. Anyway. I am rambling. I don’t know where the line is but we have crossed it.
Americans win too Often.
Okay. That’s a big statement. So let me qualify it. I am not sure if we win too often and too easily (meaning the types of games are skewed to United States capabilities) or if we simply don’t showcase the events where other countries kick the shit out of the American contestants. In the old days we saw year after year the US hopeful flameout on the ski slopes to one of those Nordic studs but we enjoyed the hope. Sure Americans started winning some but it was challenging the Viking-like athletes as an underdog. I miss countries coming to the Olympics under the guise of “sports fellowship” but really there to wear their country’s flag and shove it up someone’s ass when they won. I like the Russian judge never scoring the US team over 4 in a 10 scale even if they skated on their heads the entire routine. In the end I keep coming back to Americans winning too often. Make it hard for us. We will figure out a way to win. And when Americans are focused and grumpy and the underdog, people globally pay more attention also.
Anyway.
Now that I actually know the Olympics are here I may watch. I am hoping that I was in a minority with regard to Olympics awareness (or lack thereof). A great event. It shouldn’t be missed.
