Favorite Quotes, Life thoughts, Rants and Observations

the good in all of your bad

I saw the good in all of your bad

—

: le-noirceur

============

“Our brains are awesome at overlearning from negative experiences.

The brain continuously scans for bad news. As soon as it finds the bad news, it overly focuses on it.”

—-

Rick Hanson, neuropsychologist

============

I imagine we all know a ‘bad good person’ … uhm … or is it a ‘good bad person’?

Yikes. I’m not sure.

What I do know is we all know at least one of them.

Heck.

We may actually be the one.

Why do I say that?

Even those of us who look at ourselves as generally ‘good people’ recognize it ain’t all good.

That said … I just go ahead and assume most people build a personal house grounded and with a solid framework of ‘good.’ We look at the house we built and see things that should be fixed and maybe touched up a little bit but in general it is where we lay our heads at night to sleep with a clear conscience and pure intentions.

Unfortunately … I would like to note that ‘bad’ has significantly more doorways than ‘good’ in anyone’s house.

In fact … I could suggest that good has only one door <albeit it a big impressive looking door> – doing the right thing <moral compass>.

Bad?

Well.

The bad within us <as well as anyone by the way> had multiple doors.

And it actually begins before you even leave the house … most people believe they are more moral than they actually are.

Ok.

That is sure getting off on the wrong foot, ain’t it?

<sigh>

From that point ‘bad’ seeks to engage us, often in some very subtle ways, to create some moral disengagement from ‘good’ <which then ultimately helps us justify our bad behavior>.

Bad rears its ugly head most often as we scan the horizon for things we want <which we typically cloak in “need”> shifting our focus to some desired outcome … which inevitably forces us to begin rationalizing the means to attain our ‘wants.’

What does bad do?

The higher the desire for the outcome the more likely we start rationalizing “ends justify the means.” Some psychologist called this the “deactivation of moral standards” which is not like a light switch but rather like a slippery slope of smaller ‘bads’ inevitably leading to just … well … bad.

Ok.

Tied to that previous ‘bad’ is the fact we all battle against, in a slightly absurd way, something called ‘advantageous comparisons.’ This is where we compare our own ‘bad’ against worse bad.

“Yea, I stole post it notes from the office but they pay me shit.”

Or.

“They started it so they deserved it.”

But maybe the easiest way to permit bad to slip in and suffocate good is what is called ‘diffusion of responsibility.’ In other words … if they are doing it <or did it> that permits me to do it <“everybody is doing it”>.

What do all these things have in common?

A shirking of personal responsibility.

In all cases bad is solely justified by some comparison or ‘deserved outcome.’

And maybe that is why we can see the good in someone’s bad.

And maybe that is why we hate bad so much at exactly the same time.

We disdain the obvious lack of personal responsibility associated with the ‘bad’ and, yet, know we do it ourselves.

Whew.

Does that explain why so many of us hate somethings about ourselves?

But I think we all have the ability to see the good ins someone’s bad because we know in our heart of hearts not only is good better & stronger than the bad … but that people can change.

Science suggests we can rewire the ‘bad’ in our brains.

It is actually called “experience-dependent neuroplasticity.”

<a fancy term to say the change by managing experience memory>

Everyone can learn to change by managing experience memory … in other words … change the information that flows through the brain. That actually begins by assuming personal responsibility and applying it as a filter as experiences are absorbed by the brain. Instead of using the “justify” filter apply the “personal responsibility” filter.

Anyway.

I think we all know that you just can’t summarily throw people out of your life simply because they were flawed and had some ‘bad.’

I think we all know it is a bit more complicated than that.

I think we all know we have made some decisions at some point about some people where we decided that an imperfect relationship with a flawed person was actually in our best interest and not a reflection of compromise.

Finally.

I think we all know we are imperfect, have some bad as well our good, and we don’t summarily throw ourselves away as useless and unusable.

I think we all know while 100% ‘good’ is an admirable goal we are human. And many of us actually realize the complex mix of bad and good makes us … well … good people to have around.

Maybe because Shimon Peres just passed away I was reminded of something he once said:

“For peace, one must remember: As a bird cannot fly with one wing, as a man cannot applaud with one hand, so a country cannot make peace just with one side, with itself.

For peace, we need the two of us.”

For peace of self, one needs both of us … the good and the bad.

Here is about the only thing I know.

Bad cannot win in the end as long as there is some good somewhere. And that includes within people.

37 seconds well used is a lifetime, 60% of eme individualistic in morality, 60% of emerging adults are strongly individualistic in morality, a bunch of psychopaths rising to leadership positions, a cowardly attitude, a full life, a full-blown assault on the American dream, A Guide for Grown-up Idealists, a lazy business ethic, a moral or ethical discussion, a myriad of challenges, a poor moral compass, a road with no destination, a satisfied sigh of completion, A shirking of personal responsibility, about life and regrets and learning from decisions, absolute need for some morality and moral direction, acceptable within their defined moral compass, accepted behavior pattern, accountable decision making, acting ethically, action and consequences, action and inaction, actions today make who i am tomorrow, adamantly want change, adverse trust creation, alignment, alignment has dimensions, All people are born with a conscience, almost infinite boundless area, Americans don't trust each other anymore, America’s character, an imperfect relationship with a flawed person was actually in our best interest, analysis paralysis, and seldom absolute, and society is not crumbling, and we don’t summarily throw ourselves away, anything absolutely right or absolutely wrong, appeared to be no logical reason, architects of fate, are constantly tugging at individual morality, are those with integrity in minority, arrive back where you started, as well as events and experiences, assess our moral health on occasion, astonish people, at some point you are accountable, at which their descendants will also laugh afterwards, attitude discussions, awesome at overlearning, back where we began, Bad cannot win in the end, bad good person, bad has significantly more doorways, be better and do better, be found in David Hume, be who you are, because we live in a dynamic world where society, behaving in a moral licensing fashion, behavioral guard rails, behavioral psychology, being accountable, belief that morals are objectively true, beliefs are compromised, believe we reach crossroad moments, bit more complicated than that, bleeds into every aspect of Life, bookending alignment, brain continuously scans for bad news, brains are awesome at overlearning, breaking life decisions down, builders versus renovators, building a culture, bull in a china shop living, Business morals & ethics, Business morals & ethics is not an easy discussion, business organization, business piece on ethics in business, but you must work out your ethics on earth, buying too much stuff, by adulthood everyone knows what is morally right or wrong, can someone really give 110%, can you actually teach ethical behavior to, capacity of the human mind, careful in dealing with people, challenge corruption, change begins in the head, change by managing experience memory, change forces prioritizing, change is easier if you simplify, change sneaks up on you, change takes remarkable effort, changed behavior, changing objectives to make change, character, cheating is bad, choice between alternatives, choice by numbers, choice cannot be made with statistics alone, choices, choices business people make each and every day, choices leading to full life, choices we make or do not make, code for doing the right thing, common sense and morals, communication, complex simplified, complicit, concern for the totality of all, conspiracy thought, constitutes a crisis, context creates situational blurriness, core competency, core of his dismal view is a researched fact, corruptio optimi pessima, corruption as some subtle pressure, Corruption is corruption, corruption of the best is the worst, cowardly decision making, crazy in its ambiguity, create a new conscience framework, creating positive touchpoints, creation means destroying something, crude and naïve trust in the goodness, culture & civilization, culture has truckled to the times, current generation now sees everything clearly, custos thesauri, cynicism, dealing with extenuating experiences, Decay of Civilization, decaying or dropping into the depths of some dismal despair, decision making, decision making under uncertainty, decision utility, decline is inevitable, defining happiness in moments, democratization of entitlement, depend upon the virtue of their participants, depth of character to face everyday life, deserve our moral condemnation, destroying the personal baggage you carry, difficult to manage expectations, disappointment created by expectations, discussions about moral truths & facts, discussions of morality, disdain the obvious lack of personal responsibility associated, distinctions, do it with integrity, do not go gentle, do not go quietly, do not trust anybody, does not mean do not trust anybody, Does that make me ethically challenged, doing the best you can, doing the right thing, doing the right thing is hard, don’t think we are morally adrift, Doubt is common and certainty is, driving with hope, duty of youth, duty of youth is to challenge corruption, dwelling on the benefits of the next, Dwelling on the crap on our life is easy, dynamic beyond our own purposes, emotional, enlightened behavior, enlightened business wisdom, enlightened common sense, enlightened conflict, enlightened decision making, enlightened life, enlightened moments, enlightened moral compass, enlightened morals, enlightened quotes, enlightened thinking, enlightened trust, enlightened truth, erodes both faith and integrity, ethical responsibility, ethically driven, ethics and moral compass in business, ethics in the workplace, events are meant to be commanded not feared, every minute is another chance, every moment counts, every one is an architect of life, every one plays a role in fate, Everything else is somewhere in between, evidence based judgments, Exceptions shake the foundation of trust, experience-dependent neuroplasticity, facing change, fairness, fear, fear of choices, feelings of lostness and rediscovery, feelings of lostness and rediscovery of this little, financial reward they will bring you, finds pleasure not in linear success but the spontaneous successful moments, Flow and happiness, focus on one sliver of conspiracy, focusing on behavior, For peace, fragmentation, fun, functional, functional superiority, gain some new identity aspects, generations changing behavior, getting a new start means destroying some old things, good and evil, good bad person, good better & stronger than the bad, good or just judgments, good people, great thought and perspective, greedy, grounded in what is important, guided by behavior discussions, guilt and obligation, happiness, hard choices, hard decisions, have integrity, have some bad as well our good, having a trust crisis, heightening value in life choices, helps businesses be better and do better, helps us justify our bad behavior, hero and dignity and nobility, hiding behind statistics, highest integrity, hope, How important is it to choose what is morally good, how to go about how to live life, how to live life, how to look at life, how to think about life, how we should view Life, Human attempts to construct moral order, i like numbers, I think opinions, ideals we should live by, identifying who you are, if i only had time, If life's journey be endless, If righteousness too often leads to self-righteousness, If this is what winning in our system looks like, ignoring the truth, in a precarious position, in Life, in our best interest, in our soul we have a need for some morality, in trusting nobody, inability to manage expectations, inaction, incentive to play fair and do well, incompetence and meanness, individual actions and decisions, indulgent, inefficient crevasses in an organization, inevitably leads to structural corruption, informing a decision, integrity, Integrity and Self, integrity in the workplace, intentions, isolating variables using statistics, it is purposeful, it isn’t really a destination, it laughs at the folly of its ancestors, it marvels at the errors, it overly focuses on it, It takes a lot of courage to grow up and be who you really are, I’m not lost I’m on my way, judgement, judgment is not easy, juggling versus balancing, just this once, justify our bad behavior, Kant who suggested that moral laws are not true, know a bad good person, know we are imperfect, knowing what is right is not enough, lack of alignment, lack of integrity, lack of responsibility, lacking hope, latro thesauri the thief of the treasure, lay our heads at night to sleep with a clear conscience, lazy decision making, le-noirceur quote, leaders and character, leadership, leads me to corruption, learn to resign with good grace all that you are not, learning, lessons, letting go is difficult, letting go is not simple, lies, life, life formulas, life gives you a bazillion second chances, Life has a set of rules we live by, life is a ragged diagonal, life is a string of minutes, life is complex, Life is never linear, life is not a mission, life is not a straight line, life is not as simple as it seems, life is often not lived best gently, Life is perpetual circles and cycles, life lessons, life not defined by meeting objectives, live life to the fullest, logical decision making, look at ourselves as, look at ourselves as generally good people, looking backwards and dwelling, lot of vagary and non specifics, lots of rules, Lying by omission, maintain autonomy, maintain the status quo, making changes personally, making choices, making the hard choice, managing perceptions, marketing, matter of knowledge, maybe life is not that complicated, measurement of failure, measuring life, moments are like a balance sheet, moments of passion, Moral ambiguity, moral behavior, Moral clarity is often found in shades of gray, Moral clarity isn't a moment of instant enlightenment, moral decision is a personal choic, moral direction & judgment, moral discussion is a time, moral entrepreneurs, moral fiber, moral judgment is rarely a matter of decisions made once and for all, Moral judgments are slow, moral laxity of the cabaret and the bedroom, moral laxity within the corporation, moral relativism, morality ebbs and flows, morality is a matter of the way the world ought to be, morality is never a fact, morality is never a fact and living rightly is not something of self-interest, morality is never something of self-interest, morality should be subjective, morality tells us how it ought to be, morals and ethics, morals and ethics in the workplace, morals are objectively true, more trust people have, most people believe they are more moral than they actually are, most people build a personal house grounded, motivated by a desire to achieve, must work out your ethics on earth, neither group denies that public morality is frayed, next year’s words await another voice, no substitute for judgment, not like a light switch but rather like a slippery slope, not meeting an objective is not failure, not trusting anybody bleeds, numbers are facts, numbers are facts crap, numbers are facts nonsense, numbers are not accountable, numbers can play a role, numbers have a role, numbers show possibilities, numbers will confess anything, objectively true, obligation to do, obligation to do the right thing, offers logic and reasons, often in some very subtle ways, often leads to self-righteousness, one foot in history one foot in future, one must remember, ongoing accepted behavior patterns, ongoing cycle of discovery, only to find you're different in some small way, opinionated, ordinary people don’t think they are remarkable, organization can define, organizations, our minds create, our responsibilities to Life, overlearning from negative experiences, overly focuses on it, own moral choices, part of an ethical vocabulary, partial truth, partner, partnership, perceptions with regard, personal creative destruction, personal responsibility, perspective can help with the complex, phenomenon of putting profits before people, plight of fools and coward, poor leadership, power of words, predominant idea is that one makes one’s own moral choices, preparing to take something from you, prioritizing actions, prioritizing what is right or wrong, proudly begins a series of new errors, providing perspective, public morality is frayed, purposeful fragmentation, question everything, quotations, quotes, randomness of life, rather than settling for the world as it is, reason to believe, recapture concepts that have been seemingly abandoned, rediscover that morality we seem to have misplaced, rediscovering the moral compass, referring to business and business leaders, relationships, resiliency, resiliency and character, respect, respect the moral choices, responsibility, rewarded at the highest levels of society is failure, right is right, room to roam within these Life responsibilities, rules and responsibilities of LIfe, say it is happening when it isn’t, say that something is happening when it is, see your own reality, seek out events without fear, seeks to engage us, self truth, sign of lack of confidence, simplicity in life, simplifying to make choices easier, slippery slope, slippery slope of despair, slowly suffocate with every breath you take, smallest actions contribute, sneaky insidious type of behavior, Society, society that is bloated, soft choices, solace in the individualism taking place, someone else’s fault, soon as it finds the bad news, sounds crazy in its ambiguity, specific, statistical decision theory, statistics cannot make the decision for you, statistics getting in the way of a good decision, stopped telling myself that I’m lost, straight lines, straight lines are rare in life, strategy, strength of character to make change, Strictly speaking right cannot be a matter of knowledge, stronger than the excesses of individuals, Stuff I Like, stupidity, suffocated common sense, suggesting not being naïve, summarily throw people out of your lif, Susan Neiman Moral Clarity, suspicious of each other in everyday encounters, swallowing nonsense, teaching ethical behavior, Teaching is not empowering, that i will be tomorrow, that's how the light gets in, the American dream, the answers are within you, the best don’t dwell but move on, the current generation laughs and presumptuously, the demand for justice can lead to, the good and the bad, the good in all of your bad, the greed, the incentive to play fair and do well, The life which is unexamined is not worth living, the lying, The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere, the most powerful weapon in life is not a mission, the numbers told me what to do, the ragged aspect will not bother you as much, the randomness of life, the thief of the treasure, the world, There is a crack in everything, there is no formula for good choices, there is truly only one beginning, They only let you be this happy, things that should be fixed, think of entitlement as someone else’s problem, think we are on our way, thinking the right way, this i am today, this inherent individualism, thoughtful discussion, thoughts, time, time and choices, time and resources, to create some moral disengagement, to make an end is to make a beginning, to only come this far, To trust is to live, too careful, torture numbers, torturing numbers, towards a world that is what ought to be, traditional business hours, transformational people, trapped in philosophical debates, trappings of an ongoing discussion over our moral compass, tries to catch its breath dealing with everything, True moral judgments, truly talented get as much exposure as the moronic idiots, trust, trust crisis, trust crisis in the world, trust in the other fellow, trust issue varies by culture, Trust nobody, trust nobody attitude, trust nobody attitude is a cowardly attitude, trust nobody attitude is for the weak, truth, truth and expectations, Truth is a matter of, Truth is a matter of the way the world, truth is what really happened, Truth tells us how the world is, trying to preserve will lead to stagnation, tugs at individual morality, tv show quotes, ultimately helps us justify our bad behavior, uncovered rampant corruption, unwritten rules as too boundless, use logic in some odd ways, vagary and boundaries are both boundless and restricting, value in aligning a business organization, values and convictions, virtue of the participants, vivid demonstration of greed, wacky wisdom, waiting or living, wasting energy, We didn’t come this far, we do it because that is what friends do, we got our priorities a little out of order, we trust nobody, we want to use last year’s words, what I know opinions, what is right or wrong, what is versus what ought to be, what the fuck was I thinking, what we worry about today, what winning in our system looks like, what you do with your time, when these constraints are relaxed, when what we see rewarded at the highest levels of society is failure, where do I go from here?, where is its goal, Where's the incentive to play fair and do well, wherever you decide to find it, which can inevitably lead to structural corruption, while 100% good is an admirable goal, white lies, who will actually violate their own moral beliefs, who will actually violate their own moral beliefs if it works to their advantage, words, work out your ethics, you can't be too careful, you cannot dwell on every moment that slipped by, your solace in heaven, youth is to challenge

September 30, 2016 by Bruce

Written by Bruce

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

the good in all of your bad

Related Posts

Leave a Comment

Meta

the good in all of your bad

Share this:

Related Posts

world loves a cage

advertising & some truth

which books make you feel stupid?

Leave a Comment

Meta