the reality of overcoming shit

 tattoo-overcome==========

“You can overcome anything … short of death.”

Abi Ketner

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I tend to believe most of us are pleasantly surprised by how well we overcome shit.

shit creek survivorThe reality is 99.9% of the time we overcome anything thrown our way.

Well.

That is if you assess success as “short of death.” If you do not, then overcoming gets judged on a variety of fairly creative, and absurd, measurements.

But if you strip away everything but ‘death’ as the only failure measurement that means if you recognize you cannot be destroyed, you actually recognize you can overcome just about any and every thing.

That affects how you make choices & decisions.

That affects how you feel about yourself.

That all sounds good, and relatively simple, but it is relatively difficult to embrace as a thought and attitude.

I actually do not believe this is a Life lesson. I believe it is something we simply struggle with throughout Life.

We gain & accumulate things as we grow older. Life experiences, titles, professional experience, money, things and acquisitions … oh … and family.

That is reality.

And reality hates, absolutely frickin’ hates, to be destroyed.

We face shit everyday, some big shit and some small shit, and as we face it we view it through bifocals — what reality will be destroyed and how do I protect against it and what do I really want to do.

If you focus solely on the latter, you will feel really really good about yourself <in Bad 27 7 doing shita semi selfish way> but I can almost guarantee that doing so will come at the expense of some reality in your life. It may be a small expense and it may be a huge expense — but an expense nonetheless.

If you focus solely on the former, you will most likely have a fairly comfortable reality but I can almost guarantee that doing so will come at the expense of some moral relativity <sense of self stuff> in your life. It may be a small expense and it may be a huge expense — but an expense nonetheless.

That is why I said this is a constant struggle for us in life.

We know most of the decisions and choices we make will not kill us, but we have to weigh what that choice & decision will kill in our reality.

On this one topic I can actually share some personal experience.

I have shed the former stuff at some point in my Life & career. I dropped the titles, the compensation, the career, the responsibilities <I do not have a family> and all the past stuff <as well as I could>.

Now. That doesn’t mean that simply destroying it all meant it went away mentally. Destroying everything you feel like you have earned <not deserved> doesn’t translate into some personal ‘slotting’ from that point on – I had that salary so anything less is bad, I had that title so anything less is bad, I had that type of home so anything less than that is bad, etc.

That mental aspect takes some time <at least it did for me>.

But once I reached a point where I recognized that the only way I could actually be destroyed was death itself, well, doing the right thing and doing what I wanted to do became a shitload easier when trying to overcome shit.

I admit. While not a luxurious life, it is a luxury not many people have to do what I did. But to attain this luxury I almost had to destroy reality. That sounds kind of extreme. I imagine there is another way to do it <one would hope, wouldn’t one?>.

Ok. Look.

That isn’t really the point.  It isn’t because I am certainly not suggesting people ditch their reality just so they can always make their decisions based on what would make them feel good as a person. Reality comes with some responsibilities which deserve to be acknowledged. I imagine my real point is that more of us should recognize everything is overcomeable. Your worst day, your worst decision, your worst choice, your worst anything … if it doesn’t kill you, can be overcome.

I say that because far too often in the moment where the worst is occurring most of us aren’t thinking about the fact we cannot be destroyed, we are worrying about being destroyed. That in and of itself most likely puts us in a position in which we are much more likely to make the worst worse <and, at best, make the worst as palatable as possible>.

do what you must by YoshiteruShit happens. That is a given.

But not all shit is created equal and not all shit outcomes are created equal. And while all shit can be overcome, if you are a little more fearless when the shit hits the fan, a little more inclined to believe what the hell, I am not going to die,” I would argue you may actually be more likely to come through the shit not only alive & well … but not as stinky.

And even better? You will sleep well that night knowing you had destroyed what may have destroyed you without destroying your soul & character.

My bottom line? The reality is we can all overcome more than we think we can, you are better at overcoming shit when it occurs the less shit you fear losing and you can overcome shit without sacrificing soul & character — and all those things are connected.

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Written by Bruce