bullshit language

 

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a word that is used way to much to the point of annoyance, and to a point where everyone uses it just to sound like everybody else.
Urban Dictionary

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Ok.

 

This is part fun and part serious … and both parts connected by the business world we live in … all connected by buzzwords and buzzword usage.
The fun first.

 

I am not sure I have laughed harder … at myself … at business … at the ludicrous amount of bullshit speak we spew every day in office buildings around the world … without even know we are doing it.

 

 

But Weird Al Yankovic has.

 
His last song in his 8 song online album release is called Mission Statement <done to Crosby Still Nash’s Suite Judy Blue Eyes>.

 

 

You know you have made it big when Weird Al parodies what you do and say for your living.

 

weird al-bonnaroo-2013

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyV_UG60dD4

 

 

Here is the link to the other seven songs … most of which are fucking hilarious.

 

Weird Al: http://www.weirdal.com/

 

 

The songs are well done. Very clever.

 

 

Handy done to Iggy Azalea’s Fancy.

 
Foil done to Lourdes Royals.

 

 

Word Crimes done to Blurred Lines.

 

Tacky done to Pharrel’s Happy.

 

 

Awesome.
Frickin’ awesome.

—-

Bonus.

My favorite Weird Al of all time … Living with a Hernia: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8Ow1nlafOg

—–

 

 

Ok.

Next.
The serious part second.

 

 

Buzzwords.

 

The bullshit words we flippantly sling about in the workplace.

 

bullshit beware

I have written about these heinous words several times before:

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most recently on innovation: http://brucemctague.com/rediscovering-innovation

—–

 

 

Buzzwords creep into our business lives like sinister slippery bacteria infecting your common sense and even well intended business acumen. Like …

 

Drinking the kool-aid <which is kind of like drinking the kook aid>.

 

Give 110%.

 

Win-win, blue sky, outside the box, bla bla bla.

 

 

 

 

I am as guilty as anyone on this issue. Maybe the difference between myself and many other business people is that … well … I feel guilty about it. I even hate a part of myself for lowering myself into what I consider the mediocre depths of the business world where it seems bullshit words have built mansions for people to lounge around in.

 

 

How does it happen?

 

How does bullshit and buzzwords actually make their way into even the worlds of business people who abhor them?

 

 

 

Well.

 

 

They creep in … well … consciously <unfortunately> and subconsciously <less unfortunately but still unfortunate>.

 

 

 

bullshit no wayConsciously is a galling affair.

 

 

Galling in that it goes against everything you stand for from a business ethics standpoint.

 

 

You know its bullshit.

 

And you know you are going to have to painfully spout out a word or two of bullshit in a minute or so.

 

It leaves a nasty taste in your mouth.

 

 

 

So why we consciously do it?

 

 

You know it makes the audience receptive to something important you want to say.

 

 

In Bruce words … the buzzword bullshit can open up the listening box.

 

 

Buzzwords are almost like heuristics.

 

They are cues as to what is to come next … or create some mental visual of a desired scenario. They are also cues to ‘cool contemporary business thinking’ <although they are most typically anything but that>.

 

 

Next.

 

 

Subconsciously is galling … but galling in that it becomes so much part of the existing daily vernacular it eases in without you even noticing.

bullshit word abuse

——

“If you repeat something over and over again it loses its meaning; You watch the sunset too often it just becomes 6 pm, you make the same mistake over and over you stop calling it a mistake.

If you just wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up one day you’ll forget why.”

Phil Kaye

——-

The buzzwords become proverbial buckets, spittoons if you would like, lying around the office … easy places in which to spit ideas and thoughts and ‘vision.’

 

 

 

It’s just part of what is.

 

 

So much so that the bullshit becomes even more meaningless.

What I mean is that while a buzzword may actually have had some business thought in its conception … over time … it has simply become some amorphous distasteful glob of meaningless non-business drivel.

 

 

I am pragmatic enough to understand that buzzwords will always exist n the business world.

 

 

I am also pragmatic enough to understand that to be successful in the business world you do need to suck it up and actually use some of them on occasion.

 

 

I am also idealistic enough to believe if you take a minute to maybe ‘enlighten’ a little … embrace a little ‘conflict’ in the business place … maybe through some good rigorous thoughtful discussion you can make a small dent in the buzzword bullshit armory.

 

bullshit abusive-word

Maybe I am the only idealistic business person with regard to this issue but I don’t think so.
Regardless.

 

 

One of my career goals is to eliminate at least one bullshit buzzword. Then at least I can say I have achieved one worthwhile thing in my career.

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Written by Bruce