only way to stay ahead of sadness
====
“Don’t dwell on things. Don’t stay in one place too long.
It was the only way to stay ahead of sadness.”
—
Rick Riordan
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“That’s the thing about pain. It demands to be felt”
—-
John Green
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Well. Let’s just say Life is best lived moving. Moving forward, sideways and even stepping back on occasion.
Why? Because trailing behind you almost every step in Life is sadness, pain and maybe regret. Suffice it to say that wherever you go there are a bunch of less than desirable things that keep close behind you awaiting you to stop.
The good news is that they just aren’t really fast enough to catch you.
The bad news is that they just relentlessly pursue until they have the opportunity to step up beside you.
And when you do stop moving?
They all have a nasty habit of demanding attention by tapping you on the shoulder and say “remember me?”
And, more often than not, as we stare back at them all we can see is all the shit we didn’t really see when we were moving and all the shit we didn’t really feel because we were doing something else.
I am not suggesting up to this point most people ignore this shit, just that we are busy getting on with getting on.
It is only when you stop <mentally or physically> that we are faced with all the ‘less thans’ and all the ‘imperfections’ and all the pain and all the sadness which you had left trailing behind you as you encountered the ‘more thans’ in Life and the ‘improvements’ and the good feelings and the happiness most often associated with ‘getting on’ with Life … ‘being actively engaged with Life’ may be another way to say it .
Sigh.
But here is the unfortunate Life truth. Life demands you stop at some point. You have to <unless you are a robot>.
And when you do all that stuff that has been shadowing you wherever you have gone, well, they all demand to be felt. I would be remiss if I didn’t point out here that Life is strewn with things which demand to be felt. So many it can create some sensory overload. So many that in the overload it becomes difficult to discern what is actually being felt and from what the ‘felt’ is coming from.
Sure. Some things stand out and you can clearly see the cause of what you are feeling, but most times everything, the less thans & imperfections & pain & sadness, all stand around you bludgeoning you with whatever they have at hand to a fairly numbing degree. And maybe it is because of that we numb ourselves to as many things as possible figuring it is the only way to manage our way thru the onslaught of things demanding and demanding and demanding.
The clamor of their cries for attention seems deafening if you listen too closely.
For all the happy horse shit ‘think positive’ crap around us in general Life, while Life certainly isn’t always despair & disappointment, it is more often than not involves a series of fairly gymnastic bobbing & weaving on our part in the attempt to avoid less than moments and disappointments and sadness and some pain.
For some reason <and I am sure there is some research somewhere on this>, but we remember the tears more than the laughter, the unhappiness stronger than the happiness and the failures more than the successes.
Maybe it is Life’s way of insuring we don’t get too confident.
Maybe it is Life’s way of insuring we pay attention to Life.
Maybe it is Life’s way of insuring we don’t get complacent.
I don’t know.
What I do know is that you have to work a little and have to work seemingly too hard sometimes, to stay ahead of the shit that inevitably dogs our steps – the sadness in other words.
Look.
Everyone reflects.
Everyone stops at some point.
And everyone will be faced by a number of uncomfortable things which will 
demand to be felt.
But, in the end, regardless of what demands to be felt it really comes down to one, and only one, thing.
“We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.”
=======
“The trick is in what one emphasizes.
We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy.
The amount of work is the same.”
Carlos Castaneda
===========================
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of attitudes & behavior, please tell me what you think you are good at, point to parents as the major influencer, point was to seek truth, ponder where the frickin’ apple falls instead, poor parenting drives children deeper into their peer group, pop psychology makes us lazy, positive psychology gurus espouse, positive psychology gurus espouse infinite choices, possibilities, power of words, powerful words, practice believing impossible things, Pragmatic with no limits, pragmatism leads to, predictions, pressing so hard on either side that there’s no room for the present at all, prior to a meeting they need to deliver on exactly that within the meeting, prioritizing actions, prioritizing what is right or wrong, process is a means to an end, product of lucky foresight, product of our culture, productivity, progress, Progress and movement, progress can be defined in any direction, progress is an output from movement, progressive learning, progressively move on to additional learning, project global generation, protecting children, protecting children from evil, protecting from predators, proverbial and metaphorical fork in the road, provide some clarity, provides some structure and focus, providing perspective, purpose, purpose to learn, purposeful fragmentation, purposeful other times happenstance, pursuing the way, put failing in perpsective, putting profits before people, quality versus quantity online, question everything, Question hope, questioning the unquestionable, quod satis est, quod satis est Horace, quotations, quotes, randomness of life, rapid diminishing of free choice, raw unbridled pursuit of self-interest, reach for the stars, reaching toward it the possibilities, read this as fact and it is simply opinion, realistic enough to know when enough is enough, realization of individual goals, realize their fates has been made by the sum total of those choices, realize this is make or break, reason for being, reason to believe, recognize the limitations of their actual talent, recognize the unacceptable limits on prosperity, recognize this the better you play the Life game, recognizing limitations to talent, recognizing your limitations is a challenge, redefining children’s education with a global initiative, refection neglects to uncover, referencing personal branding, Reflecting on parenting is difficult, reflection of that basic enlightened thought, regard to how we view life, relationship between encouragement and discouragement, relationship between preference and value, relationships, relatively great in the scheme of things, relentlessly pursuing a dream, relevant because it corrodes the ideal, reliving that moment, remaining choices become more and more about the soul, report having higher expectations and monitoring, research, resilience, resiliency, resiliency and character, respect, respect for individual choice, responsibility, responsibility for actions, responsibility of parents, responsibility to children, responsible for survival instincts, rest can actually steer you in the opposite direction, restless consistency, restlessness most typically is indicative of curiosity, right but wrong, right is right, right words, rising tide of evidence against the nurture assumption, risk something to achieve a dream, road with no destination, ROI versus imagination, role of internet, room for the present at all, running a business, safe, say it is happening when it isn’t, say thanks and get a shrug, say that something is happening when it is, saying it is fine when it is not, saying the right words, scared, schumpeter and capitalism, Schumpeter wisdom, secrets to collect, seduced by the urge to acquire, see within the circumstances, see your own reality, seeing the other side of choice, seek out events without fear, seek out the small to insure the big turns out right, seek to make someone speechless on occasion, seek truth, seeking the way of truth, seen this moral challenge before, self actualization, self doubt, self esteem through problem solving, self truth, self worth, self-esteem and individuality, self-help gurus, self-improvement people, self-interest could fuel a successful economy only, sends the wrong message to everyday people, shades of gray, share the choices I made, sharing experiences, shifts away from traditional parenting roles, short term concentration capabilities, shortcomings leading to consequences, should not involve anything close to narcissism, should seek to build something big, showcasing character, sifting through everything they are seeing and hearing, simplicity in life, simplicity seems too chaotic, simplifying to make choices easier, simply illogical behavior cancelling out illogical behavior, simply indifferent to anything, six impossible things before breakfast, slippery slope, slippery slope of despair, slippery slope of I am not fine, slippery surface of irrelevant brilliance, slow paced learning, small gestures in trivial looking moments, smallest actions contribute, smart expert driven mumbo jumbo, So much time you can waste it, so you can be better, social media is not antisocial, society of indulgers and accumulators, soft choices, some achievement in and of itself, some experience worthy of note, Some guy named Charles Eames called it, some of them defied the odds, some parents find mistakes unacceptable, some people do not talk about themselves, some sense of duty, some smart choices, some type of self-gratification, something more important than fear, something that piqued my curiosity, something to think about, sometimes extremely unpredictable and never ordinary, sometimes produce completely irrational results, sometimes systems work that should not work, sometimes the illogical occurs, sorting out the truth, soyoufailed.com, speak after listening, speaking, specialist, speechless. finding the right words at the right time, spend the time is kind of irrelevant, spiral of loneliness and despair, stand for something within yourself, standing on the uncertainty pedestal, standing up every time we fall down, star gazing, state of being perpetually dissatisfied, statistical decision theory, statistics cannot make the decision for you, statistics getting in the way of a good decision, stay ahead of sadness, stay or go, stimulus reponse, stop and think, stopped telling myself that I’m lost, stories, stories we will never tell, stories you want to hear, story they never want to tell, straight, straight lines, straight lines are rare in life, strategy, strength against adversity, strength of character, strength of character to make change, stressful decisions, stretch the bars of the cages, stretch your limitations, strip away the undoable and identify the doable, stronger emphasis on building a child's autonomy, struggle between energy and indolence, struggle between vitality and decay, Stuff I Like, stumble upon doing it right, stunning grace in the face of overwhelming life, stupid advice, style more important than substance, style over substance questions, subconscious influences behavior, subconscious is really a place of super-fast data processing, success lies within the understanding of the process, successful economy could arise from the raw, suck at managing our lives against our limitations, suggest a kids peer group is a stronger influence, suggests is that each choice is contextual, sum total of those choices, surprised when the test indicated, swallowing nonsense, systems remain stagnant, Take or be taken attitude, take revenge on doubters, takers will take what you allow, takes some hard choices, talking, tangled ball of string, tangled up people, teaching, technology and parenting, tend to believe parents are doing a pretty good job, that i will be tomorrow, That is human nature, that moment kind of moment, that simply living life, that which could be, that's how the light gets in, That's the thing about pain, the 50TopModels guys book, the answers are within you, the apple never falls far from the tree, the best advice is priceless, the choices we make, the creatures of the commonplace, the end destination is to be finished, the entanglement of nuances, the global generation, the inevitable life choices, The Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, The life which is unexamined is not worth living, the moments that words fail, the more you do not know the more you can learn, The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere, the most powerful weapon in life is not a mission, the myth of original, the myth of the proprietary process, the numbers told me what to do, the odd moment of beauty where time is not the same, the ones who actually get a second look, the only thing truly unique is your personality, the only way to stay ahead of sadness, the organizational crack, the past year, the peer group in which they are socialized, the people who get lost, The point is to understand, the power of friends, the professor and the person ahead of you on the checkout line agree, the ragged aspect will not bother you as much, the randomness of life, the slaves of the ordinary, the small gesture in the trivial moment, the subconscious, The truth is, the unimportance of that moment, the word failure is tough love, the world always belongs to the next generation, the world bends everyone, the world is always changing, their fates has been made, their heads and hearts, There is a crack in everything, there is always something more to learn, there is no formula for good choices, there is no one path, there is nothing left to give, they are one destiny, they don’t thrive on non stop goals & objectives, they think that they need more now, they will be defined by that socialization process, thing about pain, things children experience, think long and hard about what, think through every possible scenario, thinking, thinking about a career, thinking impossible things, thinking is good, thinking of yourself as a brand, thinking sad thoughts, thinking too much, this i am today, this unevenness, thoughts, thoughts about life, Threads of Life cross all the time, thrive on dreams, thrive on dreams and possibilities, through the looking glass wisdom, time, time and choices, time is about prioritizing, Time is less constrained, time spent within their peer group assimilating learnings, time you can waste it, times were different when I was growing up, to be happy, to be meaningful, to be sure of you, to not know who you are, to provide some clarity on what is important, to slay a dragon you need to believe in dragons, to suggest that parents have no responsibility, to the best of your ability, today’s parenting, too much focus on what you already know, torture numbers, torturing numbers, tough being a teen, tough for dreamers these days, tough on dreamers, trailing behind you almost every step in Life is, transactional branding, transformational people, trapped by fear, trick is in what one emphasizes, Trite truth, trivial moments, trivial moments in bigger life, true friend, trust, trust and doubt embodies people, Trust can be objective and subjective, Trust one side too much and it dulls, truth, truth and expectations, truth goggles, truth is a lot of us are completely lost, truth is rarely simple, truth is what really happened, truth or lies, truth or nothing, truth to oneself, trying to preserve will lead to stagnation, tugged by duty, tv show quotes, tween strength, Twitter, twitter triumph of humanity, uncertainty is a bitch, uncertainty takes on geometric proportions, unclear leader, underneath greatness, understanding what you do as an organization, understanding your ignorance, understanding your own path to learning, undisciplined irresponsible unfocused kids, unexpected innovation, unfocused leaders, unicorns symbolize hope, unintended results, universally acknowledged truth, unlocking the story, unquestionable, unrealistic expectations, unrealistic future moment management, unrelenting parent pressure, unshakeable, untangling people, until we meet again, urgency to find meaning, use your imagination, Use your time for something useful, used rainbows for sale, values of independence, values of personal freedom, very philosophy of parenting has changed in the past, vibrantly alive in repose, vision, voices of a generation, voyage of the soul, wacky wisdom, waiting or living, waiting versus living, walk in our footsteps, walking beyond our own footsteps, want children to do better, want children to go beyond, was not trying to make changes, was particularly surprised when, wasted energy worrying, way you might change the world, we all fail, we all have dark moments, We all have moments, we all have stories, We are made up of layers, we do it because that is what friends do, we don’t know, we individuals are pretty self-reliant, we modify our behavior depending on the environment, we overlook the ability of great friends, we should all listen a little more, we should desire to make something big out, We should want to create, we're a little bit too light on our kids nowadays, well rounded individual maximizing their talents, well rounded learning, what do you do when you get what you want, what does human freedom consist, what I know opinions, what is enough, what is important, what is most important to us, what is overindulgence or decadence, what is pure decadence or greed, what is right and what is wrong, what is the alternative, what is the place of words, what it is to be America, what looks like chaos, What the fuck was I supposed to do with that, what the professors of psychology believes, what we are seeking explanations, what we have is not what we need, what we need is impossible to get, what we need to get us through, what we want is not what we need, what you do with your time, whatever it takes, whatever it takes to cross that dark bridge, when enough is enough, when people do not listen, where are you going, where danger can look divine, where do I go from here?, where is its goal, where you go from where that end is, whether children elicit particular behavior in their parents, while you may be highly qualified for an opportunity, who your kid is hanging around with, Why Parents are Unimportant, wild hearts always seek to escape, Winning is part thinking and part instinctual, within capitalism LURKS the possibility of moral poverty, woefully inadequate data, words, words reflecting experiences, words that become deeds, words worse than nothing unless they do something, work is often up to people, work nevertheless, world loves a cage, world waiting inside my cage, worry about implementing a great idea versus protecting it, would be smart enough, yhprum’s law, you are not a failure because you fail, you are overcoming objections one by one, you cannot dwell on every moment that slipped by, you doubt just enough to be humble and realistic, you fail, you have to work to get these stories, you live a little life, you lived life doing stuff, you may gain something, you should be ready to face all sorts of problems, You were the lost gentleman, you will inevitably be measured by your actual deeds, young people speaking, your natural abilities, your present gets some elbow room
Written by Bruce
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