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“Sliding down the slippery slope of mediocrity.”

–

David Ogilvy

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Ok. I believe the actual quote was “the slippery surface of irrelevant brilliance”, but I thought I saw somewhere he said what I wrote above.

Regardless. This is a Life and business lesson. So let’s just call it “truth.” Its a truth about work, effort, decisions, compromise, lies (or “half-truths”) and almost anything else I can think of.

Slippery slopes are incredibly easy to step onto AND get stuck on. What do I mean?

“Just this once” you say to yourself when you are tired. Whatever the decision or action we are discussing, to you, in the moment … it is mentally “an exception”.

“Just this once” when you are asked a question and you ponder your answer. Maybe you embellish.

“Just this once” you say to yourself when you put off that thing you wanted to do. A workout. A chore. A book. A project. A diet. A decision.

“Just this once” you say to yourself when it is a silly rule or it isn’t really unethical, but its not 100% ethical, it’s just in the margins of “okay to do.”

Before you know it <after some “just this onces“> you have edged on to that slippery slope. Once has become many and many becomes the standard.

Life is funny that way. Its sneaky. It permits you to look at things in a mutually exclusive way so that you don’t really see the accumulation of events & decisions.

Think of it maybe this way. In that incomparable <and totally underrated> movie The Replacements there is a scene where Keanu Reeves talks about it as “quicksand”.

It’s the same thing. You get in it. And you fight hard but you just can’t stop sliding down. In fact the harder you try to fight it … the worse it seems to get. And it is a truly helpless feeling. That’s quicksand in life. That is the slippery slope.

Oh. Maybe the worst thing about the slippery slope is that most people don’t realize they have started sliding until it is too late. Because the slippery slope is tricky smart. Sly in fact. It teases you with some easy low consequence decisions upfront. For example … you are on a diet and just have one dessert. One occasion, one time <some people are tempted to call this “reward for good behavior” which is simply another trick the slippery slope plays upon you>.

Maybe the slope even tempts you with permitting a small embellishment. Just a small addition at the end of a thought. Just a couple of words you wish you hadn’t said but didn’t seem to be that big. And the next time it becomes a few more words. And then … before you know it … the embellishment has taken on a life of its own.

Anyway.

It is one of my quests in life to find good people who have mistakenly started the slide and lend a hand to pull them back up. Professionally and personally.

Does that mean I am better than mediocrity? Shit no.

I just recognize that sense of helplessness and I like people to have hope for something better then the helpless feeling found on some stupid slippery slope.

I also believe there are a shitload of really good people … and I mean good as in talented and good as in heart & soul … who just get caught on the slope and life makes it even more difficult to figure out a way to get off the fucking slope.

Anyway. This quote reminds me of two things.

1. Pay attention to everything. It’s the only way to insure mediocrity can’t gain momentum (because we all have to compromise on occasion)

2. Help those who have that look of “how the hell did I get so far down this slope” by grabbing their hand and pulling them back up whenever you have a chance. There are some incredible people and some incredible talent out there that just got caught on life’s slippery slope. It doesn’t mean they are mediocre by any stretch of the imagination. It is simply that they got caught on the slippery slope and didn’t know how to get off.

Ok. Because I used a Replacements scene as an example of the slippery slope <and a really good scene in the overall perspective of the movie with a good message about second chances and shit like that> I want to end with one more Replacements reference.

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“Greatness, no matter how short, stays with a person forever.”  

gene hackman (replacements)

=================

We all seek t do something great – be it big or small. For most of us greatness will never be a lifetime tag. In fact for many of us <me for sure> this is a Truth.

But. A great moment? A great action? A great thing? Yeah. We all have it in us. And maybe that is where the slippery slope is such a bastard. Once you have done a couple of ‘just onces’ and you are on the slippery slope that one moment of greatness may appear and, well, that greatness slips by. All your ‘just onces’ cost you a chance at the one ‘once’ that really matters. How does that happen? When you are buried in the suckhole of mediocrity 2 things happen:

(1) your doubt with regard to whether you can actually do the great increases (and doubt creates hesitancy and hesitancy creates, well, missed opportunities),

(2) your slow side into mediocrity convinces everyone around you that you are, well, mediocre – only capable of doing that which is mediocre. this matters because 99% of greatness is attained only with oethr’s assistance. No assistance, no greatness.

All that said.

We shouldn’t dwell on greatness nor that one moment or thing  (for a life is never defined by one moment of greatness). We should invest that ‘dwelling energy’ at doing our best to avoid the slippery slope of mediocrity.

However, I will point out an easy moment of greatness. When someone who has been stuck on the slippery slope and is struggling to get off and just can’t see how to get off and out of the mediocre suckhole, well, reach out, give them a hand, remind them what greatness looks like, point out what makes it happen and what they are capable of. I would argue if you did that, in that moment, in some magical way, you may also have achieved your own moment of greatness.

————————-

“I don’t believe there’s any problem in this country, no matter how tough it is, that Americans, when they roll up their sleeves, can’t completely ignore.”

―

George Carlin

——-

Americans have a way of doing things ‘big.’ We are vocal and loud-ish and unequivocally … well … American.

While it seems like we do it that way every day the 4^th of July is most likely the most vivid demonstration of American loud-ism.

Now. Before I traveled the world I was convinced every country had an Independence Day they celebrated with the same gusto <if not fierceness> as America does. At some point i realized this isn’t the norm everywhere.  That isn’t to say that most countries don’t celebrate <or at least acknowledge> their independence day <a place like Finland

celebrates its independence from Russia> it’s just that no one seems to do it as bombastically as we Americans.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with bombastic patriotism.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with bombastically celebrating independence.

Why?

Independence is a bombastic ideal. One that SHOULD be celebrated loudly, bombastically & vigorously even if the Ideal doesn’t live up to their expectations when faced with reality.

Ideals are ideas.

Ideals are hope.

Ideals are a vision.

Ideals are, well, frustrating on occasion.

If you have ever personally sought the ‘ideal weight’ <not to diminish freedom & independence … just to personalize the discussion> you know progress never comes as fast as you desire, you make mistakes, you have setbacks, you have successes, and the moment you take your eye off the ‘ideal’ you lose progress if not slip backwards a little. Suffice it to say, living with an ideal in mind is difficult. Hopeful but difficult.

Using my metaphor, think of it as 330 million people stepping onto 330 million different scales 365 days of the year, every day evaluating their ideal weight against the ideal weight the country bears.

Sound like its impossible to meet the ideal? Yup. And that is independence. That is the ideal we measure ourselves and our country against.

The bar is high.  But Americans aim high.

Suffice it to say I am grateful for the country I grew up in and the freedoms we have in America that we often take for granted.

Now. I certainly do not subscribe to the theory of blind patriotism some people suggest follow along with holidays like the Fourth. I do not because I believe it is on days like this we are reminded of the work in progress ideal we strive for and our founders strove for.  It is on days like this, while we bombastically celebrate, we are also reminded, sometimes painfully, of the work in progress aspects. We will sit around our barbeques and bitch & moan and picks at the scabs of a wounded Ideal but at the same time we should also be reminded of independence and everything good that comes along with it.

In thinking about it, and the value it has to our souls and hearts (and the fact we know we have flaws and are still, sometimes sluggishly, working towards that ideal) it is natural to become self-conscious in our Americanism.

———

“It is, I think, an indisputable fact that Americans are, as Americans, the most self- conscious people in the world, and the most addicted to the belief that the other nations are in a conspiracy to under-value them.”

Henry James

———–

I have seen someone call this self consciousness — self pity. I don’t. I would argue until my last breath it has nothing to do with pity or any ‘woe is me’ attitude.

I would say it has something to do with that ‘high bar’ I stated earlier.

I would say that having earned independence we have assumed a responsibility to an ideal. It is an ideal most likely truly unattainable <as most ideals are> and, as Americans who like to complete, do and succeed, we are self-conscious about the fact we are still working our way toward that ideal.

That said.

We bombastically celebrate the ideal.

And you know what? That is a big deal.

Many people in other countries do not seem to understand patriotism the way Americans celebrate the 4th.  They see it as our typical over the top celebration of pride.

Yes.

We have parades to celebrate America and being American.

Yes.

We have spectacular firework extravaganzas that everyone goes to.

Yes.

We have massive parties that entire towns attend.

Yes.

Sometimes we go a little wacko with the red, white & blue.

But it’s because we look at America differently than others may look at their own countries.

I am not suggesting it better or worse – just different.

Different in that we vigorously celebrate our ideal maybe, just maybe, to convince ourselves of the Ideal.

Convince? Well. Unlike some other countries who feel like they embody their ‘ideal’ — we do … and we don’t. We know we have an ideal. We know we have not reached the ideal state. We know we worry we may never attain that Ideal.

So, maybe, on the 4^th, oddly, we are celebrating our flaws.

I wish we Americans would say that more often.  Celebrate our flaws. Because in doing so we admit we are celebrating the reach … the aiming high … the place of hope.

Anyway.

Set aside the celebration aspect <which is certainly an American trait>. The 4^th is and is not about pride. If it were solely about pride many would hesitate because we are flawed. But to think the USA has more dirty laundry than other countries is … frankly … is silly <and slightly absurd> and no excuse for not being proud to be an American. We should be proud America holds an ideal out for everyone … just beyond their grasp … and says ‘go get it.’

4th of July is fun.

You should sit around with your family. Millions of beer drinking guys stand and grill the shit out of everything and anything they can get your hands on. Other millions go out and spend an hour blowing things up.

On this day maybe 325 million people <I will allow 5 million curmudgeonly unhappy tools to sit around and gripe about how bad things are and how flawed our country is> set differences aside and have some fun — fun with an ideal in mind.

——-

“Americans… are forever searching for love in forms it never takes, in places it can never be. It must have something to do with the vanished frontier.”

Kurt Vonnegut

——–

What I love about America is the searching.

On the 4^th we celebrate the search. We celebrate the hope. We celebrate the ideal. On the other 364 days we grind it out working toward the ideal in fits & starts, and hugs & pushing, and tears & laughter, and anger & joy, and disappointment & triumph … and failure & success.

Every one of these 364 days we grind thru what is, flaws included, all the while envisioning what could be. And maybe that is why Americans are so damn obnoxious in their 4^th of July celebration.  We are celebrating what could be. A better America.

Well.

I would suggest the attempt to being better than what you are today is worthy of a celebration.

Happy 4^th of July.

Well. There is a lot of talk in the business world about how creativity has been squashed by data, numbers and an unhealthy pursuit of efficiency. All is true. However, to rediscover creativity I believe its helpful to think about how fearless you have to be to actually BE creative. Creativity is a tricky thing. Originality is an objective but less important than not copying. Inherent in almost every creative idea are elements of something that already exists or has been done.

I say all that because, having been involved in the creativity business in some form for over 20 years, I recognize that the best of the creative best are part insecure and part fearless. And it’s the fearless part that I am going to write about because I saw this quote somewhere.

—————

“I seek fearless work that challenges me”

Martha Graham

——————–

This is good stuff.

This is the kind of stuff not for the faint of heart.

And, frankly, this is the kind of stuff for few people, but, I can pretty much guarantee its at the essence of every great creative mind. Why? Because this quote is indicative of someone whose heart lies in doing fearless work.

Oh.

Fearless work means being fearless of failure.

Fearless work does NOT mean doing something wacky just for wacky sake.

Oh. But that is the first thing people who condone fearless work bring up.

You hear words like “stupid” or “what were they thinking” or “I could have told them it wouldn’t work <or be popular or be liked>.” In my mind those are words of people who fear work that looks fearless. This fear can be disguised as a variety of things … discomfort in something new … misunderstanding … lack of ability to recognize something.

Whatever.

This is about people who actually DO the fearless work. Because people who seek to do fearless work recognize several things:

–          how difficult it is (even though it may seem simple to the creators)

–          how unpopular it may be

–          when to stop being unpopular (the guard rails in fearless creativity)

In fact. I am going to use someone else who pursued fearless work to make the point. Kristen Hersh (one of the founding members of The Throwing Muses). As a teen (just to make another point that teens can often be wiser beyond their years) she said this about the difficulty of pursuing fearless work:

——————-

“Do you know how hard it is to not know how to sound like other bands? There aren’t any lessons to teach you how to do this and no one can help us figure out what <to play>. It’s hard to learn something that no one can teach you.”

Kristen Hersh

———————–

Actually. I wish I could share this with anyone who is critical of any original idea so they could think about the fact someone is doing something that was self taught because there is realistically no one to teach someone what has not been done before. Sometimes fearless work is difficult, and defined, by the fact you are forging your own path.  There are certainly some principles you can stand upon and some rigor of thought you can apply, but, there are no lessons,  there are no rules &  there are no real guardrails. In fact. The real difficulty is knowing when to put up your own guard rails.  Knowing when to stop innovating and just be creative with fearless work.

Kristen, as a 19 year old teen, pursued fearless work and did some amazing stuff (along with her fellow teen and musical genius in her own right – Tonya Donnelly).

Anyway.  I think the fearless ones tend to hear and see things the rest of us don’t. In simplistic terms it is only popular in their own heads. And unfortunately for the fearless there is only a minority who truly understands what they are doing:

(Kristen Hersh) … “but we play unpopular music.”

(producer) …

“that’s exactly what you play because you’re inventing something. You’re gonna be hugely influential.”

I do believe the best of the fearless best recognize that what they do may be initially unpopular to the majority. It is an uncomfortable position to be in because ideas are fragile and affirmation often makes it less fragile (people too).

The fearless just forge ahead. They may not like it. They may not embrace it.  But they understand it. And fight their way through it.

Because it is a fact. All the truly influential fearless creators didn’t have it easy early on.  They were creating something – inventing something. In their fearless work they were paving the way for people to think differently, see differently and just experience something different.  Yeah, I know, that is what being influential is all about.  But that doesn’t make it any easier. Now. While fearless work is often unpopular initially there is a difference between bad unpopular and influential unpopular. Good fearless is about understanding how to put up the right guardrails. Oh. Yeah. Those guard rails.

So how do the fearless know when to stop innovating?

———————

“when you start to suck, stop”

Kristen Hersh

———————-

Sounds simple, but it is not. I believe the best of the fearless best have an internal quality control.  Conversely, in the mind’s of the ‘less mature’ innovative thinking maybe the guard rails are less defined. But. In the best of the fearless best they have that inner barometer to recognize what sucks and what doesn’t suck.

Oh. And before we start putting too much weight on ‘less mature’ and associating it with age I would like to remind you that Kristen said this last quote when she was 19 (oh, these smart teens as I like to remind those wise stodgy adults).

Like I just said.

The best of the fearless best have an inner barometer.  They are born with it. They are born with the guardrails.

But this doesn’t mean there isn’t fear.

Even the fearless creative people have fear.

Everyone has fear (lest we forget).

————————–

“We fear the idea of something more than the thing itself.”

Steve Chandler

——————

Fearless work means loving the idea of something more than fearing the thing itself. I imagine that thought encapsulates most good things in life. But in this case those who pursue fearless work have overcome their fear in pursuit of what is good fearless work.

Anyway.

Today’s business world needs more people to pursue fearless work. To fearlessly create beautiful ideas that may make some people feel uncomfortable. We need these fearless people because they have a ripple effect beyond their own work. They influence how the rest of us look at ALL things. I do worry a little bit because I know these people exist but I am not sure a business world exists for them to exist in. We say we want more creativity, more risk, more fearlessness and, yet, the business word does not reward creativity, risk or fearlessness. I do worry a little bit because those who DO create fearless work live in an insecure world and if the business world does nothing to offer a security safety net being fearless can become an almost insurmountable daunting challenge.

My personal thought?

If you are fearless, all you can do is …

Act.

Do.

Create.

Discover your fear, face it and seek your own version of fearless work. In the end maybe we are lucky enough to positively influence people. And, at its best, maybe we actually be influential. And, of course, maybe something fearless we do will create the change necessary for the next fearless work to be done.

“But the brain does much more than just recollect it inter-compares, it synthesizes, it analyzes, it generates abstractions. The simplest thought like the concept of the number one has an elaborate logical underpinning. “

—

Carl Sagan

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I am constantly trying to communicate something incommunicable, to explain something inexplicable, to tell about something I only feel in my bones and which can only be experienced in those bones.”

—

Franz Kafka

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This is about ideas and thinking. I am a scribbler. And a sketcher. And a pencil guy. I carry around a stack of index cards & constantly sketch out thoughts for people. My index cards are strewn around the world. I am sure some are used for dart boards, some for a good laugh & some actually was a seed for some idea.

I purposefully used the word “seeds” because I think we would be much better off if we thought of ideas that way. Why? Well. Seeds die or remain underground or get eaten by some squirrel if it isn’t protected, nurtured, watered and pampered in some way to insure it flourishes.

And while there are gobs of articles highlighting ideation process and such , to me, all that matters is an idea doesn’t die with poor articulation. A good idea poorly presented dies. Even great ideas poorly articulated die.

Now.

A shitload of people will want to talk about PowerPoint & presenting & a whole bunch of shit that just gets in the way. Those are simply ways to do it. What matters is how you do it.

Which leads me to the Feynman technique. It is essentially explaining a concept or idea to yourself, on a piece of paper, as if you were teaching it to someone else with little background knowledge. This is all about it’s all making sure you understand it and can you explain it if not simply simple enough to be understood.

I had no clue who Feynman was when I start taking out a piece of paper to find out if what I was thinking made sense on paper. Over time I have found an index card does it for me. it forces the constraint I need to either, well, get it or not get it. If I can’t articulate my idea or thought on an index card I mentally decide it isn’t worth a shit as an idea. Ok. Maybe it is but I know I haven’t figured out a way to articulate it so that it will not die.

Look.

I am not suggesting I am a great idea person or thinker but I am suggesting creating a process to elevate all people’s thinking does not necessarily benefit the smaller group of people who are actually good at thinking & creating ideas. What I mean by that is with the intent to create a better thinking organization we tend to want to throw everyone into the same bucket <I guess we do that to encourage inclusiveness & ‘fairness’>. Unfortunately this means your best of the best get pulled out of what may make them the best & force them into the “unwashed masses” <I am kidding on that phrase but you get the point>.

We should always be thinking two parallel paths. One to elevate the majority and one to empower the minority.

Why? To protect ideas.

Minds work in a variety of ways. It seems to me that organizations should think less about organizing minds but rather freeing minds. If you have someone like me, buy me a stack of index cards & have someone riffle through tem on occasion to see if there is a seed somewhere.

I will say that when I was running a small company I would pin them up on a conference room wall and during meetings anyone at any time could pull it off the wall and say “WTF you thinking?” or “I want to talk about this.”

I learned to articulate better as well as get less defensive about ideas.

The employees learned to articulate better and come up with their own ideas in their own ways. By not having an organizational process but sharing my personal process we ended up having a process.

My point is ideas are seeds. Some don’t deserve to grow & flourish but some do & we should be learning to articulate ideas better to save those seeds.

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“Sometimes I wonder whether I have any real intelligence or if I just have enough random bits of surface knowledge to bullshit my way through most things.”

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“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself; I am large — I contain multitudes. “

—

Walt Whitman

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“ …In reality I did not go to the monastery to become an ascetic, but to gather those parts of my soul which had scattered…”

——

Nikos Kazantzakis

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“I have nothing to offer anyone except my own confusion.”

——

Jack Kerouac

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Ok. This is a quasi-reflective piece as well as some thoughts on what I think is important about how we approach people and Life.

I like messy people. People who don’t fit in a box or stay between the lines, but whose integrity is greater than any rule book and whose loyalty is stronger than blood. People who are smart but just aren’t sure if they ae really that smart & just have enough random pieces of knowledge to bullshit their way thru Life & business. That said the closest I could find to talking about these thoughts today seemed to be found in something called INTP. It is a personality designation. One of 16 <I think>.

Let me be honest upfront. I am not particularly fond of personality testing. Not because I don’t think it can create some interesting self-reflective thoughts but rather because far too many people start using it as an explanation of self <and actually falling back on it as excuses for why and how they do things> rather than simply viewing it as ‘well, shit I should think about with regard to myself.’

It can quite easily become like looking at your horoscope and seeing shit simply because it fits what you want it to fit.

In addition it can become far too easy to confuse self-descriptions with skills.  It is a false belief that some self-description correlates with having a skill.

Simplistically, personality tests should dictate nothing. They determine nothing in your life. They do not care about you. They are only indicative of personality traits and not behavioral decisions.

I imagine my real point is that if you’re lazy, or detail oriented, or easily angered or easily bored it is your own fault and not because of something that some personality test told you.

But. To be sure. It always seems to make for some fun reading. Ok. Back to INTP:

The INTP personality type is fairly rare, making up only three percent of the population, which is definitely a good thing for them, as there’s nothing they’d be more unhappy about than being “common”. INTPs pride themselves on their inventiveness and creativity, their unique perspective and vigorous intellect. Usually known as the philosopher, the architect, or the dreamy professor.

This makes it ironic that INTPs’ word should always be taken with a grain of salt – it’s not that they are dishonest, but people with the INTP personality type tend to share thoughts that are not fully developed, using others as a sounding board for ideas and theories in a debate against themselves rather than as actual conversation partners.

This may make them appear unreliable, but in reality no one is more enthusiastic and capable of spotting a problem, drilling through the endless factors and details that encompass the issue and developing a unique and viable solution than INTPs – just don’t expect punctual progress reports.

People who share the INTP personality type aren’t interested in practical, day-to-day activities and maintenance, but when they find an environment where their creative genius and potential can be expressed, there is no limit to the time and energy INTPs will expend in developing an insightful and unbiased solution

———————–

So when you take the MBTI, the personality chosen for you is based on your preference in four dichotomies which are called “preferences” because it simply means you prefer one over the other, not that you use one exclusively over the other.

Take “Introvert” and “Extrovert” for example. These two major traits are very commonly known and have recognized stereotypes. An extrovert is typically described a happy, energetic, party-goer, while introverts are described more as bookworms, loners, shy, and quiet. However, it’s not as black and white as the words and stereotypes make it seem. Everybody has a little bit of both. You simply get the “Introverted” designation because of what the test perceives your preference to be.

Anyway.

Back to quote. Random bits. I question everything, but I question myself more than anything else. I don’t understand how people can have strong opinions about things that they don’t fully understand. There are so many facets & bits to every issue that I find it extremely difficult to not constantly revise my opinion based on new information. That is basically learning to unlearn. If I thought about it I bet I have a theory for everything, even have a theory for why I have a theory for everything. I’m always modifying my outlook on life & things as I gather new information.

To be clear. That is not intelligence.

I say that because not only do I think I’m not incredibly intelligent but basing your self-worth on your intelligence is a dangerous thing (because there will always be someone smarter than you and there will always be intellectual challenges too great for your mind).

I said that because the one thing I absolutely can’t tolerate is condescension. It shows dismissal of alternative ideas and intolerance for intelligent discourse. Condescension also creates a barrier to novel experiences which force you to think about things from a new perspective <leading to new insights>.

How does this benefit me? I live in a world of possibilities.

How does his NOT benefit me? Choosing only one and dedicating myself to it fully makes me feel trapped. I always need a way out.

====

i have survived
so many fires,
i can no longer tell
if i am alive
or if i’m still burning.

—  Pavana पवन

=====

But having a way out means smartly finding your way in as well as smartly seeking a way out. Oddly, this sometimes means you can look both spontaneous and cautious depending on who is looking at you and what circumstances you may be dealing with. I appear spontaneous to those who don’t know any better, but I’m actually extremely calculated & thoughtful. So let’s call it “calculatedly spontaneous”. It means being deliberate — with haste in my actions. It’s weird. A lot of people perceive my actions as unstructured or random, but they really are not. I meander, but I do so with purpose.

When confronted with a new obstacle, I may initially appear too still & maybe slightly indifferent but all the while I was paying attention and sniffing out subtleties in the obstacle the whole time in seeking a way out.

This also means I require a job me to actually use my brain and have the opportunity to work on a wide range of activities. Monotony kills me.

I’m not one of those wicked smart people we all seem to know neither am I the dullest knife in the drawer. My grades were never stellar, but I was able to find effective paths between two points and do exactly what’s necessary to take it. I’m not into overachieving I am into achieving smart shit like, well, anything that requires me using my brain.

I do know Curiosity is possibly the most important characteristic of anyone who is good at what they do <in Life & in business>. But “good” comes in a variety of shapes & sizes and sometimes those shapes & sizes are crafted by one thing: do we care more about the question or the answers. What I mean by that is finding truth, or the best answers, is very rarely a linear process. Therefore the question & answer sequencing to that truth is not linear. Oops. I tend to believe most people use question & answer in a “that begets that” way. All in all, that means believing the answer is more important than the question. All that mean is if you get the first question right <and a shitload of us do not> the truth is arrived at like in a sequence of dominos. I’m always going to be searching for the next piece of the puzzle, and that’s both an exhilarating and depressing proposition in that “what’s next attitude” almost demands little reflection on achievements.

What a self-reflective post today. Oddly it’s been sitting in my draft folder for years staring at me daring to be written. Today was the day.

“Sometimes I wonder whether I have any real intelligence or if I just have enough random bits of surface knowledge to bullshit my way through most things.”

====

“I was surprised, I was happy for a day in 1975 / I was puzzled by a dream, stayed with me all day in 1995.”

opening couplet to The State I Am In <Belle & Sebastian>

====

“ … the softly creaking door into their sweet, strange, drolly funny and not a little sinister world, where it’s always a backwards-glancing daydream.”

writer in the Guardian about Belle & Sebastian

=====

    you:

let it go & move on

    me:

<with my fingers tightly curled around a subject, nails buried deep in it>

I Have

=======

So.

I tend to believe we all look back on occasion. Ok. I do not tend to believe. I know we look back incessantly.

Especially on the good stuff.

Ok. Especially on the bad stuff.

Ok. Suffice it to say, good or bad, we backward glance incessantly.

Heck. We are even creative in our backwards looking. It can be after decades, after years, after months, and, yeah, even after minutes.

“I always say the perfect words, five minutes after the conversation has ended.”

The world we look back at is a sinister little world. Sinister in that the view looking backwards more often than not is rebuilt in our heads to reflect some utopian feeling moment. Sinister in that we view some moment as if we were in control everything or, maybe conversely, the universe had controlled everything to occur at that moment in time <some would call this destiny or fate>.

Simplistically, this means backward glancing has a very uncomfortable relationship with “perfection.”

Yeah. Perfection. This happens because we ‘still’ time <make it stop in our viewing> and this creates a wacky perception that everything was actually still in that moment. Worse? That stillness implies control and alignment.

This is flawed thinking. Flawed because this utopian backwards moment is great conceptually but does not even come close to reflecting the reality.

Why?

Well. Several reasons but let me focus on our imperfection.

What we view backwards looking as perfect is more likely a reflection of our imperfection in the moment <or imperfections in general>.

Let’s maybe call those imperfections “a confluence of uncontrollable factors.” And what makes that idea even worse for us is, well, we hold on to the beautifully imperfect moments with fingernails dug in. To be clear … this can go both toward incredibly good memories and incredibly bad memories. Both reflections of imperfect reality which in the rear view mirror look perfectly aligned with us … or against us.  what I mean by this is that backwards looking is a completely  warped view in our heads.

• The moment is made up of imperfections yet we see it perfectly.
• The moment is most likely a confluence of uncontrollable factors yet we view all the factors as controllable <or we should have controlled>

That said. This means backwards glancing is more often than not grounded in what I often call “if only thinking.”

I coulda, shoulda, woulda things.

Backwards glancing far far <far> too often glances off of several thoughts which can steer our current view in the wrong direction:

• Not being good at something <or in a moment>
• Not being good enough <in the moment>
• Fucking something up <or a moment>
• Leaving when it got too hard <or leaving in a moment>

Yeah.

As for “if only” we can certainly change ourselves and our circumstances to some extent. I have written about this numerous times. However backwards glancing generates flawed perceptions of change.  It implies “well, if I had done this” or “if I had only been paying attention to” … you would have done the ‘right’ thing <whatever right truly is> and all would have been good.

Flawed thinking.

All that would have guaranteed is a different outcome and  different experience. Neither of which is guaranteed to be the ‘prefect’ scenario you envision.

Look.

I believe that the past can be a great place to learn from. The past offers us the opportunity to see glimpses of who we truly are in a variety of different situations. It does provide some opportunities to gain some valuable self wisdom.

But at the exact same time it takes some fortitude to not let the past dictate your future or even to let the past get in the way of living in the present. Simplistically, backward glancing can freeze you.

Freeze you stuck in the wretched middle of the past, present and future.

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“And Lot’s wife, of course, was told not to look back where all those people and their homes had been.

 But she did look back, and I love her for that, because it was so human.  So she was turned to a pillar of salt.

So it goes.

People aren’t supposed to look back.  I’m certainly not going to do it anymore.”

Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

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In the end.

Here is what I believe most of us learn by looking backwards. Nothing very good. Why? Looking backwards it can seem quite easy to think everything would have explained itself if you had only stopped interrupting. Looking backwards it can be difficult to discern what you should miss and what you shouldn’t miss as well as what you actually missed and what you didn’t miss.

“Do you ever catch yourself missing the things that you shouldn’t?  The people you shouldn’t?  Do you find yourself wanting them back but you know that you shouldn’t?

You suddenly remember the million reasons that you shouldn’t want them back in your life but all you can focus on is the one reason you should take them back.”

—

i think that’s a hard lesson to learn. that it’s okay to miss something but not get it back

/// the-homie-sexual

 Unfortunately Life is not so easily explained. I can pretty much promise you one thing … you missed some things you shouldn’t have, you miss some things you shouldn’t and you didn’t miss some things you should have and you don’t miss some things which you should miss.

Back in 2013 I wrote about how most people either get trapped in past or trapped in the future as they live Life. I called it ‘forward without looking over your shoulder. Life is tricky. Always has been and always will. And both the past has its attractiveness <learning> as well as the future <possibilities>. And there is only balance and not perfection.

And maybe that is the thought of the day.

In the end if all we try is to make this life perfect we will fail and make ourselves miserable in the process. And backwards glancing is a key components to making ourselves miserable.

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“We are tossed about by external causes in many ways, and like waves driven by contrary winds, we waver and are unconscious of the issue and our fate.’

We think we are most ourselves when we are most passioate, whereas it is then we are most passive, caught in some ancestral torrent of impulse or feeling, and swept on to a precipitate reaction which meets only part of the situation because without thought only part of a situation can be perceived.”

―

Will Durant

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“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life.

Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.”

—-

Golda Meir

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So.

This is about leadership & leading with an idea.

It would be an understatement to say that the number of ways a leader can lead are so numerous it would most likely take a book to explain them all <and people have certainly tried>. Trying to simplistically suggest “this is the way to lead” is simplistic tripe.

It would be an understatement to say that the number of ways a leader can articulate an idea for people to rally around and follow are so numerous it would most likely take a book to explain them all <and people have certainly tried>. Trying to simplistically suggest “this is the way to share ideas in a meaningful way” is  simplistic tripe.

That said. Today I will talk about leaders and ideas and articulating ideas. Let’s call it “the business idea” leadership challenge. For those of us who have had the fortune, or misfortune, of walking the halls of management in business we have all crossed paths with all the scary tactics and rhetoric associated with leaders who cannot articulate an idea if they actually tried <and most do try>. These are the leaders who do not really have the ability to articulate an idea well enough for the idea to gain traction and be implemented.

……………….. the idea ………………….

I sometimes believe what makes a good leader is the ability to articulate an idea so that <a> people can grasp it, <b> people can envision it as “something” tangible enough to want to hold it and <c> people can attach some emotional connection to it <ranging from ‘I believe’ to ‘passion’>. But many leaders just struggle with idea articulation and use a variety of tricks to present an idea in a way that encourages people to … well … believe in the idea.