===========

“… if at first you don’t succeed … you are running about average.”

–

Milt Alderson

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“When we get impatient because something is taking too long, we should remember that Life waits on us a thousand times more than we wait on Life.”

―

Laura Teresa Marquez

==============

You are doing average !!! <said with enthusiasm>.

Uhm

When is the last time someone ever said ‘average’ enthusiastically? <never>

And, yet, here is a Life truth – the majority of life and things we do is average. Statistically it has to <that is why it is called the average>.

Not everything can be shit bad and not everything can be spectacularly spectacular.

An average means that … well … on average this is what happens.

Well.

If that is true … that explains why we are always so impatient for spectacular things to take place.

Shit.

That explains why we are always so dissatisfied in Life <or … let’s say “disappointed more often than we would like”>. Because unless your life is a series of spectacular failures and spectacular wins <where you are most likely an alcoholic or drug addict trying to deal with the massive swings … or some insanely irresponsible individual with no responsibilities> you are most likely dwelling in the … well … average daily behavior space.

Now.

Let me say what everyone has to be thinking “that thought sucks” <and Bruce sucks for pointing it out>.

Yeah.

It does suck.

It sucks because the last thing anyone wants to be is average and it sucks even more … if it is actually true … that most of our lives hover around average <with moments of spectacular bad and moments of spectacular good>.

Even worse?

If it is true … society, business and … well … everyone else … measures average not as acceptable <or the norm> but rather boring, unexceptional or ‘a loser.’ Pretty much we have pounded into our heads that average is bad and we should always be seeking to be better than average – on everything <projects, games, speaking, etc.>.

Uh oh.

And, yet, average is pretty much where everything resides.

Therefore … on an average day what you do <which is statistically more than likely to be average> will be less than satisfactory to everyone else around you.

Once again … this whole discussion sucks.

It sucks because if everything we do meanders around average most of the time and we think about everything desiring to be anything but average … we are doomed to be spectacularly consistently disappointed <if not unhappy> … well … on average throughout life.

Yikes.

I’m getting depressed just writing this.

Ok.

Here is how I deal with this thought.

Average is the cost of doing business … the business called Life.

Do average and several things occur:

1.      You are surviving. Yeah. That may sound like a low bar but let me suggest that if you don’t survive you don’t even have the opportunity to do more average e shit let alone anything more than average.

Survival is an excellent objective.

2.      You put yourself in position for the occasional spectacular. Let me be clear … average is not mediocrity <which is a slippery slope incredibly difficult to get off of>.

Average is something completely different.

Average can actually be quite a good thing … it’s just Life without any sparkle or bells & whistles. Therefore … average is not settling it is rather the foundation we all seem to build for ourselves to maintain a good and healthy life. And if it is a foundation … well … you can build on it. Without average you cannot attain the spectacular … at least the spectacular good.

3.      Average teaches patience and consistency and character. If you can ignore all the blowhards yelling at you for accepting average you will notice that pretty much anyone can attain spectacularly bad <that is easy>.

And you will notice that you will achieve some spectacular goods on occasion.

You will notice that an average Life is one well lived on a consistent basis with more good than bad and more spectacular on the good side than spectacular on the bad.

Average teaches you character in that you recognize that centering your Life around you is a significantly easier Life to live than one that tries to center itself around what others say they expect or desire or value.

Look.

Running about average isn’t a bad thing. It shouldn’t be scoffed at or sneered at or diminished. Running about average means you recognize that Life is a marathon and not a sprint.

In fact … running about average means that … well … that is pretty much what most of us are doing every day at any given point. So, accept the fact most of what you do is average … and that is not just okay it is actually good.

============ POSTSCRIPT ==========

About average.

I am a hope guy & I have always espoused being the best you can be. That said. In my career I have talked with people from rural Appalachia & Kentucky, urban NYC & Dallas & San Francisco, visited farms in Iowa, NC & Texas, homes in at least 25 different states and heard just about every average person you can think of talk about their life.

I say that because most of the consultants and business people I know live in rarified air where discussing leadership thru Hope & “doing great things” is the norm. Most people want to be a little bit better, have a little bit better & see things a little bit better in the future, but know they live average lives … and they are actually okay with that. They truly represent the good in the average American. I counsel my friends in our rarified air to think of ways to talk about being average, and average lives, in more positive ways because, well, it relates more often to the average person.

==============================

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“People have forgotten this truth,” the fox said. “But you mustn’t forget it. You become responsible forever for what you’ve tamed.” 

—–

The Little Prince

===============

“I cannot play with you,” the fox replies. “I am not tamed.”

“What does that mean – to tame?” 

“It means to establish ties. To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world…please, tame me!”

“I want to, very much,” the Little Prince replied, “but I have not much time. I have friends to discover, and a great many things to understand.” 

“One only understands the things that one tames,” the fox said.

==============

Ok.

Some people aren’t going to like the way I am going to discuss Leadership. Some people will not like the implication behind the word “tame” with regard to employees. Those some people should read before they dismiss the thought. t may just offer a different way of thinking about the responsibility of leadership.

Leaders have a tough job in that you manage skills, people, personalities & overall organizational purpose.

We call it managing, but in reality it is taming. You tame the independent wildness and tame the ability & potential so you can understand it, and it can understand itself, so that eventually there is a mutual progress to play the game as well as it can be played.

Please note that nowhere in there have I suggested “blind obedience.” Taming, in this view, is reaching true understanding so that real personal growth occurs.

That said … in that metaphorical expression of leadership … you own what you tame.

I say that because far too often we leaders & managers view management as something we do for the benefit of the organization and, hopefully, the benefit of the people … but we ‘own’ no responsibility for the individual in terms of actions or who they become — and certainly not ‘forever.’

Some of us view ourselves as shapers in some form or fashion but lean back against the belief we only dent the surface of who and what the person is and will become. We view what we do as possibly taming but within the purview of just a chapter in their lives … not an entire story.

In some ways we do this simply as an act of self-survival. The truth is that investing too much personally into your business; the organization and the employees can … well … kill you.

Okay.

Maybe not literally kill you … but figuratively it can become a daily strain on your psychological health. Many of us, out of pragmatism, eye our relationship with employees as a story with a finite end – be it positive, sad, joyful, disappointing or ambiguous – but it is, in reality, just the end of a chapter.

The story keeps going. Ours and theirs.

And while we may represent only a chapter in a larger narrative … well … we own what we tame. This is an inclusive way of leading & managing. You include yourself in someone’s Life and … well … you own what part you tame.

Uhm.

Of course … this can also swing to the opposite more dangerous side – an exclusive leadership side. This is ‘ownership’, not owning, of what you tame. You don’t become part of them you simply offer a voice to them – I sometimes call this ‘pack mentality leadership’.

These are the leaders who say “on my team <or in other words “mine”> forever.” It is possessive in a non productive way.

“Leave and my wrath is upon you.”

That eader’s attitude? “Not want to be tamed by me? you are “un” whatever it is I stand for.” And this is where exclusive leadership truly rears its ugly head.

There is little vision, there is a lot of ‘features’ in the offering <more money, more jobs, more titles, more wins, more whatever> and therefore the incentives do the work and not any persuasive direction or vision. The ‘pack attitude’ is a means to an end and a vision in and of itself.

—-

“Managers tend to use compensation as a crutch.  After all, it is far easier to design an incentive system that will do management’s work than it is to articulate a direction persuasively, develop agreement about goals and problems, and confront difficulties when they arise.”

Michael Beer, Harvard professor of business administration

—–

The features, the actions & behavior of those who belong on this team, are how they speak of unity and teamwork, i.e., “everyone should act this way … but we are the ones who do.”

Or how about this?

“The only important thing is the unification of the people – because the other people don’t mean anything.” <Trump used these words once awhile back> In other words … the only people who truly count are the ones who are in this leader’s team.

Even worse? They use the ‘us versus them’ polarization as a means to suggest “team personality & character” all the while these types of leaders actually do it to create their own power structure. They don’t desire to include anyone else nor do they tend to reach out to others <albeit they make some inclusive noises on occasion> they desire to build a construct where people ask to join <because they should, of course, have to ask> and are not asked to join.

“Excluding leader types” love the ‘us versus them’ aspect. They love being derided and they love opposition. All these things do is solidify the team’s belief they are different & better & know more than the others. The team becomes what represents what is real & right and the leader controls what is real & right. The leader’s people are truly the only people that count and the leader hasn’t tamed ability but rather attitude.

And here is where the ownership of what you tamed hits a dangerous spot.

This leader has tamed an attitude but feels little ownership of the people themselves. Therefore should the leader decide to move on or get tired of whatever it is they are doing at the moment they feel no remorse in leaving people behind <who still harbor the attitude he/she tamed>.

The pack remains, the pack mentality still seethes, but the pack leader is no longer there.

Anyway.

Let me close with some thoughts.

I think it is a healthy thought for every manager & leader to ponder ‘you own what you tame.’ Leadership and leading is never easy and I have the scars to show to prove it.

I found it naturally tempting to build a quasi-pack mentality in my groups as a younger leader & manager. I was, and have always been, a more aggressive business person – I am not fond of status quo and not particularly fond of ‘the safe road.’

I can absolutely state that as a manager you can feed off of the ‘pack mentality’ attitude. It is exhilarating and almost like a drug … and maybe more dangerous … it can feed into a self-belief aspect that can edge upon arrogance and obliviousness to the greater good.

I don’t think I ever fell off the cliff on this but I certainly got a glimpse of the edge. As I gained more experience I saw the danger in doing so <to my team members, to my organization & to myself> and sought to find some balance.

Just remember.

You can tame your people’s ability & attitude in an inclusive & “unearthing skill & talent” way and they, and you, will benefit at the time and in the future <whether you are still working together or not>.

Just remember.

You own what you tame.

================ 

“If I cannot deflect the will of Heaven, I will raise Hell.”

“flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo.”

——-

Virgil

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“Don’t try to behave as though you were essentially sane and naturally good. We’re all demented sinners in the same cosmic boat — and the boat is perpetually sinking.”

—-

Aldous Huxley

=============

Ok.

This is about doing shit and doing the shit you really want to do … in business.

This is not about ‘finding your passion’ or ‘maximizing your potential’ … this is simply about something you actually decide you want to do … maybe something that is decided you should do … and are going to do.

Now.

I am sure I am going to completely bastardize the true meaning of this quote but I think about it with business in mind. This thought piece is a derivative of my “how far would you go to solve a problem” business thought.

In that piece I discussed saving your business. In this piece I am discussing saving your business objective or goal.

So.

Far too often businesses ‘hedge their bets’ against specific stretch goals & objectives. They sit in fancy conference rooms eating fancy snacks reviewing annual sales goals and business objectives and talk about ‘reaching high’ and then … well … blink. They start thinking, what they call, pragmatically … or practically.

Yeah.

They start ‘hedging.’ And when that happens not meeting the objective becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

What do I mean?

It is a tough, but reachable, objective and, yet, they don’t take the necessary complete steps to attain it. I am not suggesting this is easy.

Leading a business, particularly a larger one with some overarching politics and ‘management assessment mumbo jumbo’, is fraught with peril.

If you do what it takes to reach an objective and fall short … falling short looks … well … shorter. You invested and the investment REALLY did not pay off.

If you do what it takes to reach an objective and reach it … well … sometimes reaching it comes with a cost and your ROI don’t look as good as it could <by the way … this is a wacky version of “you did good … just not good enough”>.

Reality suggests to anyone with half a business brain that reaching true, not fake, stretch goals or aggressive objectives come at a cost. And that is where this Virgil quote comes into play. The Virgil quote is literally translated as “If I cannot deflect the will of superior powers, then I shall move the River Acheron” but more commonly translated as “If I cannot deflect the will of heaven, then I shall move hell.”

This is a version of “do what it takes to get where you want.”

I say that because I did a little research <mostly because I am not intellectual enough to actually read Virgil and like it>. Apparently in the Aeneid it is the goddess Juno who says this quote in a state of rage and defiance. She admits she doesn’t believe she can win but defiantly takes action anyway. Even better <to me> she is standing up against her peers … defending her right to do what she believes should be done, her own way, whether any of her peers approve.

And you know what?

If they do not approve, she will ignore them and “move the ancient river in her favor” … or … in my words … it becomes time to try and defy gravity.

She refuses to sit idle while others do nothing.

Look.

I will never <ever> suggest sacrificing values & ethics to win or reach an objective. My point is that to reach some objectives and aggressive goals you have to be defiant. You have to rebel against ‘hedging’ and sometimes you gotta step up and do what it takes. I do believe you can raise hell if heaven isn’t getting you where you need to be … without sacrificing ethics and values. And I do believe most managers in business need someone to rebel against their ‘fear of risk, failure, looking bad’ asses.

Anyway.

When I speak with businesses about the only thing I can tell them for sure … is that the future is uncertain. But I can also tell the with certainty that if history is a guide then we who are defiant, are determined, and do whatever it takes are the ones who push through the seemingly impossible and make it possible.

If you are a maker, a builder, an architect of fate … you do not hedge your bets nor do you let resources sit idle in inaction and, frankly, sit in inability to do shit that may assist in … well … doing shit.

========= 

“I shall find a way or make one.”

—

Robert Peary

=====

At some point in business you are forced to pick a side, pick a battle and pick a moment.

At some point in business you are forced to steer … or be steered.

At some point in business you are an architect of your own fate or fate will build you.

At some point in business you are forced to face adversity or be suffocated by that which stands in your way.

That said.

I could argue that the real difference in business remains one simple distinction. Those people who do something and those people who do nothing.

Ok.

Maybe the real difference in business is those people who do something when an aggressive goal is placed in front of them and those who people who do … well … less than it takes. And that is where determination steps into this discussion.

Because ‘less than’, in business, is clever. It can cleverly disguise itself in little line items and subtle decisions to hold back little things in reserve.

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“You give up the world line by line.

Stoically.

And then one day you realize that your courage is farcical.

It doesn’t mean anything. You’ve become an accomplice in your own annihilation and there is nothing you can do about it. Everything you do closes a door somewhere ahead of you.

And finally there is only one door left.”

Cormac McCarthy

======

Without really intending to subvert your effort to attain some sales goal you ultimately give up your objective line by line. In other words … you’ve become an accomplice in your own annihilation.

What is maybe worse than that?

As you hedge your bets you actually close door after door that maybe could have led you to your goal. Without steadfast determination, and maybe a little defiance to safe business protocol, you will inevitably find yourself standing at the only door left available for you … not reaching the goal and having excuses as to why you didn’t reach an aggressive goal.

Your main excuse? You were less aggressive than you needed to be to reach the aggressive goal.

I will conclude with the obvious.

Writing about this is easy. Doing what needs to be done is hard.

All I can suggest is that you tie your values and ethics on tight … and then go raise hell if heaven ain’t helping you make the objective.

All I can suggest is if you are in a position to actually do something just make sure you look in the mirror and make sure you are not an accomplice to your own annihilation.

All I can suggest is that if you want something, really want to DO something, more often than not … in most businesses which tend to be either lethargic or less than  efficient … you got to aggressively create your own path.

===============

“A single dream is more powerful than a thousand realities.”

——

J.R.R. Tolkien

=====================

Well.

This is part 2 of the outcome generation … and that means I plan on discussing what we have wrought by focusing so much on outcome in business. I would suggest there is actually a slightly unexpected outcome of having become an outcome focused generation.

What do I mean?

Surprise, surprise, surprise … the young people come in every day to work thinking it is all about outcome.

Results, baby, results.

Fun?

Say what!

Passion?

WTF.

Outcome?

You bet.

In fact … business says “give me results when you come in … or get out.”

Some research.

Just to make everyone feel better … there is a real reason young people do this <actually all of us have this mental feature>.

Now.

To be clear … this mental feature is no excuse … and outcome gets driven by an out of whack business barometer of what is important <kind of> … but there is a reason.

It is called ‘adaptive ignorance.’

This adaptive ignorance is there for a reason — we celebrate it as “concentration” and welcome its way of easing our cognitive overload by allowing us to conserve our precious mental resources only for the stimuli of immediate and vital importance, and to dismiss or entirely miss all else.

“Attention is an intentional, unapologetic discriminator. It asks what is relevant right now, and gears us up to notice only that.”

But while this might make us more efficient in our goal-oriented day-to-day, it also makes us inhabit a largely unlived — and unremembered — life, day in and day out.

This adaptive ignorance is a mental tool we adopt to concentrate, and avoid extraneous overload stimuli, so we can pay attention to … well … results.

Outcome.

This adaptive ignorance also suggests a generation more and more constrained by a couple of things:

–          Productivity/outcome <just getting shit done or out of the way or solved>

–          The ways we learn to see the world.

In addition … as we adapt our thinking to concentrate on what we believe is most important <at the exclusion of other things> we create something researchers call ‘search images.’ These are things all of us employ when we need to narrow our attention in a goal-oriented task. Unfortunately … this is only helpful or even possible if we know what to look for. In business this comes to life in bar graphs that get higher & higher as they move to the right or highlighted milestones written on big boards and crap like that. They narrow our attention <at the exclusion of other things>.

======================

“More is missed by not looking than not knowing.”

Thomas Mccrae

===============

Regardless.

This version of adaptive ignorance within the younger generation, this thing we older folk have created, has had an additional unexpected outcome. We seem to have a higher dissatisfaction, or even lack of respect, of the younger generation than even past generations have had.

In fact … I would argue this is so because we self absorbed older generation spend so much time thinking how worthless the younger generation is we don’t stop and think about why this may be so.

Well.

Think about this:

–          Why is it that so many of us older folk are stepping back and thinking about doing something that we call ‘matters’ now?

–          Why do we have bank accounts, houses, good educations, nice cars and cool clothes … and still seem to want more?

Well.

I call it the burden of the “empty outcome” syndrome. That is the disease of the older generation work force.

What do I mean?

We have spent years and years in business everyday cranking out results.

Numbers … numbers … numbers.

More … more … more.

If you didn’t?

You weren’t successful.

What did we teach our kids?

Results, results, results.

Win <at any cost>.

Get good grades <not what did you learn>.

They watched us come in and out of the house … working gobs of hours … noticing that we were not really sure we liked what we were doing but always seeking to accumulate results <things, outcomes, etc.>.

 ====================

“There are two ways to get enough. One is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.”

G.K. Chesterton

=====================

But.

Here is the deal. The real truth.

What I believe many of us older folk are just understanding … it really ain’t about outcome <as we have defined it to date>.

There is more to life than ‘outcome.’

And, well, we feel empty now that we know this after having worked for years and gobs of hours solely focused on outcome <hence the ‘empty outcome syndrome’>.

What is the empty part?

In 1949, Harry F Harlow, Professor of Psychology at the University of Wisconsin, outlined something called “intrinsic motivation” … or the joy of the task itself. Research reflects that for most complex tasks intrinsic motivation is a much more powerful drive than any external motivator.

And a key part of this motivator is purpose.

Daniel Pink has stated … “The most highly motivated people, not to mention those who are most productive and satisfied, hitch their drives to a cause larger than themselves.”

Research bears this out. In other words, outcome … or even economic incentives alone … do not cause individuals to perform complex tasks better <but intrinsic motivation will>.

In the end.

While an older generation rue careers of outcome … staring in our business  mirrors seeing only careers of empty outcome … we are at the same time extremely uncomfortable with a younger generation who doesn’t think but rather is results-oriented <and, yes, they can be very different and siloed>.

We have wrought this.

We can undo this.

Now that is an outcome I can embrace.

Let’s destroy the obsessive focus on outcomes & create a business world focused on substantive intrinsic motivations.

===

“It’s terrifying how quickly we can find homes in the hearts of others.

And equally as terrifying how quickly we become homeless when their hearts no longer have room for us.”

—

Michael Greywood

==

So.

When I first saw this thought I didn’t think about personal relationships … I thought about countries and leaders and business leadership.

In particular … I thought about how we, individuals, invest in a business that has hired us … or a country as a patriot or citizen … and how we feel when their ‘hearts’ no longer have room for us.

The foundation of that thought is … well … that our country, and our business job I imagine, is our home. That may sound a little too personal but if you take a moment and think about it I would guess that thought is not farfetched.

And I am surprised more leaders don’t acknowledge and think of it this way.

And I am really surprised more leaders do not understand that people can feel this way.

Look.

It really is not a stretch to think this way. What the heck. It is a “to-market” business strategy … so why can’t business leadership people feel the inverse.

Starbucks had their third location strategy <business, home and somewhere else, i.e., Starbucks> which acknowledged that any time any person decided they would invest any significant amount of time parking their happy ass anywhere they would in some form or fashion start thinking about it in terms of ‘home characteristics.’ And … lo an behold … we people embraced the idea.

Regardless.

I will admit. I wish we would start thinking this way with regard to home and people and how they react to things.

Well.

At least I wish politicians and business leaders would start thinking this way. I assume they do not because, more often than not, in today’s’ world we seem to get stuck on the ‘one most simple message we can find to say’ strategy.

That messaging strategy, towards people, kind of combines ‘keep it simple stupid’ <i.e., treat people like they are stupid> and ‘focus’ <as if people cannot handle a multi faceted thought>.

And that is … well … just fucking stupid.

Just turn on the TV today and watch the news and you will see pundit after pundit lining up in front of the camera espousing some simplistic ‘this is the topic’ to talk about.

They are wrong. Dangerously wrong.

I say that because one of the first things you learn in the communications business is that the most powerful messaging is not emotional … nor is it rational … nor is it money … it is the combination  … we would call it ‘head, heart & wallet. ‘ If you own this combination, this version of a value proposition, you own the message and the message recipient by … well … providing the ultimate value to someone.

On a side note. I tend to believe we forget this lesson in the cacophony of online “this is what is most important” simplicity nonsense.

Anyway.

Sure.

You can appeal to someone emotionally.

Sure.

You can appeal to someone rationally.

Sure.

You can appeal to someone monetarily.

And, sure, that person can justify their decisions, actions and behavior based on the one aspect which originally appealed to them.

But.

There is no debate … if you appeal to someone’s head, heart & wallet you can be sure they will not have to justify anything … it will ‘just be right.’  In other words … they will truly be ‘home’ within that type of message <metaphorically ‘home’ is in the center of that nifty triangle I shared above>.

Now.

The moment you forget that is the moment you start flailing about on why people are dissatisfied with a country or business or “why isn’t our message being received” <and why are they angry>. And, look, if you accept what I am saying … I could then argue no one is truly angry … they just don’t feel ‘home’ and they want … well … home. That may sound philosophical but I would suggest that thought is more meaningful than the superficial tripe you are hearing at the moment about anger and anti-anything. People just want their frickin’ home.

I say that because, of course, now I see headlines shouting “it’s about the economy, stupid.”

Well.

As I just noted … it is and it isn’t. It surely is because that is ‘the wallet’ part of messaging. But I can’t sacrifice head & heart just to showcase the wallet benefit.

Here is simplistic truth.

Home is not just about where I hang my hat … it is where I rest my head, heart & wallet. Not only do I want someone to offer me a home where I can have it all I truly tangibly want a place where I can have it all.

And it is ludicrous to me that anyone can suggest just one thing is more valuable then all three things.

And it is ludicrous to me that anyone can suggest I should build a message on one thing rather than all three.

Not to be redundant but it is ludicrous to not recognize that home … as in a country … as in a business … is made up of head, heart & wallet.

Any leader, business included, who does not recognize that, or decides that one is more important than the other two, is destined to be a crappy leader.

Yeah. I will admit.

I look around and see a shitload of crappy leaders. Well. At least from a communications and messaging standpoint.

It may very well be that one-on-one they get this whole head, heart and wallet thing … but publicly I hear a shitload of leaders who don’t get it. All they seem to do is follow the shiny object of the day.

Money & economy? Let’s talk wallet.

Values & hopes &social needs? Let’s talk heart.

Pragmatism & practicality? Let’s talk head.

It’s crazy. Just fucking crazy <and a little stupid> how this discussion takes place.

I will also admit as I think about who does get it that I am slightly amused that the three best songs I can think of with regard to home are sung by women <and yet it is mostly older men who lead countries and businesses>.

House of Hope by Toni Childs.

This House by Traci Spencer.

House that Built Me by Miranda Lambert.

All these songs suggest a home, a house, represents more than just money and more than just one person.

Home represents a number of people and hopes and dreams and desires <possibly centered on what it all means to the individual>. Maybe not united in some simple way but stronger together rather than apart.

Stronger together when viewed through a lens of dreams and desires and hopes rather than all those things views as simply parts of a whole.

Stronger together when not divided in thought and when the place embraces the individual while not closing out the whole.

Yeah.

Sure.

Sometimes we can capture home as a person.

And it is maybe in that last thought our leaders could learn a little something … if home is a sometimes a person maybe the way to reach people is to think like a person <instead of some talking head who says what they think they should say because everyone is telling them it is the important thing to say>.

Yeah.

Sure.

Sometimes this is easier said than done.

But leadership is not simple and it surely demands something more than some simplistic message.

That said.

I have one simple last thought with regard to leading … okay … three things: head, heart & wallet.

If you, as a leader, recognize those things and how they represent ‘home’ and how terrified someone can be if you take what someone feels is ‘their home’ away from them … well … you cannot go wrong leading with that in mind.

======

“Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you.

People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first. “

—

Steve Irwin

====

 ===========

“And I do not assume that my experience is universal. It is simply mine, and I offer it to you as a window, dirty though that window may be.”

–

opticalnoise (a blogger)

===============

Ah.

Sometimes young people say things with the type of panache you only expect from older people. This young blogger wrote the quote and I liked it enough to use it.

The basic thought many of us ignore. Experiences are personal <unless there is enough similar critical mass to make it quasi-universal>.

And in the business world I often find myself debating with people when they offer their experience as …. well … not dirty but rather … well … universal (and that is an issue).

Two basic thoughts.

–          Research of one is not research.

–          The odds that the person relating the experience <in business management> actually reflects mainstream American <or any mainstream consumer> is so low that, well, even Las Vegas wouldn’t take them odds.

Bottom line?

Realize that your experience is most likely not universal <particularly when discussing business … but beware when offering personal advice also>. This may seem like a no brainer, but I can’t tell you how often this basic rule is ignored. WE, even the most savviest behavioral people in business, ignore it all the time <alebet in degrees not wholesale>. I think a large part of it is that is because people personalize their experience <or their wife/husband’s/group of friends> that they cannot fathom that no one else feels exactly the same way.

Anyway.

All that said I am now going to share my dirty window experience list <although I actually stole the original thought from a blogger named arina and put my own dirt on some different windows>. I created the list because I almost have it all figured out <yeah … not so much>. Thinking back from my personal experiences I believe there are a few universal experiences <let’s call them windows we all peer through on occasion just for the sake of this post)> that seemingly work without fail throughout life:

–          The Karma window

Karma is this random thing floating out there in the ether that somehow impacts cause & effect on all of us. Simplistically … for every action there is a reaction. Yeah. Every action <and thought just in case you have forgotten>. It is amazing to me how often we forget that our actions always, yes, always, have repercussions.

Whatever force we exert … things we send into the ether around us in the form of our thoughts, feelings and actions … comes back to us in kind (if not sometimes multiplied). There are no exceptions and you get no free passes. Oh. Please note I included thoughts & feelings in the “cause” column. That is truly the Karma aspect. Somehow … someway … thoughts & feelings enter into the ether as some type of tangible force (or ’cause’) that often creates a nuclear-sized effect. Never forget that.

–              The Life window

This may actually be a different pane of glass in the Karma window. We are all connected by invisible glass in one window … called the Life window. When we hurt someone or when we pass judgment on someone … we are affected as well. Sorry. Life, for some reason, just likes to keep everything balanced.

What that means is you are probably better off (or more likely to be happy) if you attach what you care about (and Life objectives) with good intentions for other people. If you look at it selfishly, when your objectives benefit other people there is less difficulty in achieving them. Oh. And others will assist you. If you don’t look at it selfishly … well … just assume more good shit will happen in your life if you do good shit (and think good shit about other people).

–          The Creation window

Everyone is creative and every one has unlimited creative potential. It is just how you define creation. Create art. Create financial success. Create the most awesome balance sheet your company has ever had. Create a kid that will be the next president. Everyone one of us has the potential to create some type of greatness. You just have to make sure the window is open and the blinds are open. Oh. And make sure you know that you actually have that window.

–          The Neutrality window

Life is neutral. It does not play favorites. This is probably a derivative of the balance thing. In the absence of good & evil Life probably wouldn’t choose sides but rather stay in bed taking a nap. Life does not decide someone is more important or less significant. Life never randomly punishes.  Life never randomly rewards. Nothing is random but pretty much (with some notable exceptions) everything is earned. Everyone is given an opportunity to learn something (which ultimately is the key opportunity for personal success). Everyone pretty much has a chance in Life (albeit it is tougher for some people than others).

–          The Action window

This is the window right next to the neutrality window. In the absence of individual action Life will do its own things in its own time. Life does not just happen to us. It requires our active participation. Remember. Life is neutral. If you are inactive … Life is inactive <with you>. It will not take interest in you until you take interest in it. It is too busy paying attention to people paying attention to it.

–          The You cannot Ignore ‘What is’ window

“What is” will evolve into “what will be” when ignored. That I guarantee. In other words … you will continue to receive what Life gives you even if you refuse to accept it. If we ignore our problems, they will only get bigger and more urgent. If we ignore opportunities, they will cease to exist. If we refuse to learn lessons from the past, larger, more serious, lessons will be given to us. If we obsessively pursue a goal or idea that is not right for us, it will elude us until we accept that we can live without it.

–          The Stagnancy window

This one is the opposite side of the Action window pane. And this one is a warning. Stagnancy is addictive. What I mean by this is, if the view from your window is awesome, you can find yourself sitting there doing nothing but enjoying it. So. This I guarantee … it may be a beautiful view today but if you don’t move … and just stay there … it will lose its appeal. Stagnancy is the death of inner growth and happiness (or seeing beauty in life). When you do not use skills you lose them. Similar, without continuing effort in personal growth, you are doomed to fall back as Life continues moving. What happens then? Obsolescence.  Life, and people, and thoughts, and whatever …. just pass you by.

–          The Impatient window

Impatience is sneaky in life. Sometimes it can disguise itself as ambition or ‘goals’ or things like that. Because the allure, and desire, of success is something we all desire. And we may like the idea of instant gratification or easy success or short cuts … but deep down all of us know that things of value have to be earned. And that is where impatience rears its ugly head. You are peddling as hard as you can toward success … but as look through this window you are impatient, and it is challenging, because you want it NOW … but this window is about patiently waiting for the reward to come in its own time. Ok. This doesn’t mean you should be scared to do things nor shouldn’t be ambitious … this is more about having some common sense. Good things typically don’t come easy. If it were all that easy anyone could do it. Maybe learn to be patiently impatient for success.

–          The Reality-based Optimism window

Here is a reality <2 of them actually>.

1. Negativity begets negativity. If you think negatively I can guarantee you will never attain happiness.
2. Uh oh. But. If you always think optimistically I can guarantee you will always be disappointed <sorry about that>.

So can you ever be happy? Yup. By being realistic, but being optimistic. A truth in this window? Good things DO happen to good people. Well.  Let me be specific … that is ‘good people who exhibit some reality-based goodness’. By the way … for anyone who wants to debate the view from this window …. research (published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences)  predicted in simulated models that generosity/trust pays. Mathematically they found it pays to be trusting in the long run even though you will sometimes be cheated (so that is how Santa can figure out how to assess naughty or nice).

–          The Trade-off window

For everything you gain you have to give up something else. This is an unfortunately simple complex dirty window.

And the last.

–          The Desire window

This window sometimes has a weird filter over it that makes things not look as they really are. What I mean by that is not everything we go after is what we truly want. Sometimes we only think we know what we want … and sometimes we don’t know what we want until we get it. Maddening? You bet. But everyone has this window. Unfortunately this window is most typically found in the main room so you look through it a lot. This window is also, individually, often the dirtiest. You will be tempted to go to other people’s houses and look thru their “desire window” and hope for some guidance. Sorry. No can do. Your Desire window is your Desire window.  I kind of think they are like snowflakes … no 2 the same. You will probably not have a more aggravating window in your home. Too bad. Every home has one.

So.

There you go. I would suggest these windows are universal but will be individually dirty in different ways. At best you should try and wipe each one as clean as you can <smudgy is better than dirty>. While I made my personal experiences universal … I do look through other people’s dirty windows as often as I can.

Like the opening quote said … they offer a view … regardless of how dirty the view may be.

============

“When you make a choice, you change the future.”

―

Deepak Chopra

===========

“Oh, yes. Choosing… it has always hurt. And always will. I know.”

―

George R.R. Martin

=============

Ok.

This is about Intelligence … and making choices.

Why do I put both of these together? Well. Do you know the origin of the word ‘intelligence’?

<because I did not>

Intelligence is derived from the latin verb intelligere … which actually means “to choose among.’

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm … so that means an intelligent person isn’t a smart <high IQ> person or one who has reams and reams of knowledge and factoids stored away in their pea-like brains <although I envision it could increase the likelihood of actually being intelligere>.

It actually suggests that the ‘intelligent’ are those who can discriminate fact from fiction, truth from lies, which half of a half-truth is the important half … and I imagine those who can discriminate … even if only between the bad and the worse.

Oh.

And, of course, that means intelligere is founded upon the concept of choice. And not jut the ability to discern the choice but also the character, and fortitude, and smarts … to actually make choices.

In addition … intelligere demands one have the curiosity to have at hand that which is needed to actually create, and have, ‘the among’ available.

Uhm.

The ability to ‘choose among.’

Once again … we seem to face the uncomfortable truth that things are rarely black & white, choices are inherently unclear and a simple “if this then it must be that” linear choice is almost never at hand.

Intelligere is … well … not easy.

Look.

I don’t know that I really have a point to make here today.

I simply found this interesting. It made me think about what I perceive as ‘intelligence’ in people.

I know I had always simply thought people who were smart were intelligent. And, frankly, I didn’t think much beyond that.

But.

Assessing intelligence not just as being smart but rather what you do with those smarts?

Whew.

I like that.

===

“Believe those who are seeking the truth.

 

Doubt those who find it.”

 

————

Andre Gide

=====

Well.

If I could earn a salary being a truth seeker I would sign up today. In fact. I believe we need a job like this.

I think we need a job like this because … well … Truth is significantly more elusive than I tend to think we believe. Truth is rarely simple … certainly not as simple as we would like it to be and even more rarely tied to what could be misconstrued as “common sense.” Truth is often complex, nuanced & tinged with contradictions.

And because I believe what I just wrote … I am always wary of those who come out blazing by speaking “the truth.”

Why? Things are rarely black & white. I also imagine I say this because my truth attitude is tempered by the fact I have been called optimistically cynical.

While my incessant curiosity always has me pursuing new & better & different knowledge <which inevitably create unlearning> I guess I question everything upfront. This means I filter thru everything I hear & rarely accept it as “it is what it is,” I imagine this is my cynicism part <or maybe one would hope as I have become older I can judge what to question and what to accept upfront>.

My optimistic side?  I always believe great things come of the cynicism filter <rather than use cynicism to drag things down>. Maybe this style of mine insures I feel more confident in what I know versus what I don’t know as well as draws my thoughts & thinking a little more away from opinion & more towards truth, fact & real knowledge.

By the way. I would like to believe more people <and society … and business … in general> would benefit from a filter like that.

Regardless.

I would like to believe I am one of those people who is constantly seeking truth. I may not be, but, it is certainly a good objective to try to attain. And I would welcome anyone on to my truth seeking team <as long as they truly were open to “unlearning to learn”>.

I do know that I believe as long as you are ‘seeking’ … you are being persistently curious … and … well … there are worse things to be.

I do know that I believe we need more persistently curious truth seekers in today’s world.

Anyway.

Truth seeker.

Well.

That is certainly a title I would like to put on a business card. Tough job but, whew, I would do take this job in a second.

=============

“We should place confidence in our employee.

Confidence is the foundation of friendship.

If we give it, we will receive it.

Any person in a managerial position, from supervisor to president, who feels that his employee is basically not as good as he is and who suspects his employee is always trying to put something over on him, lacks the necessary qualities for human leadership – to say nothing of human friendship.”

—–

Harry Humphreys

============

“The conventional definition of management is getting work done through people, but real management is developing people through work.”

—-

Agha Abedi

=============

Well.

Leading and managing people is possibly one of the most rewarding things you can do in a business career.

Firing people is possibly one of the most unrewarding things you can do in a business career.

Unfortunately these two things are inextricably linked.

I could argue that once you assume responsibility for firing someone … you learn more about yourself, and I imagine others learn about you, than from almost any other responsibility you assume as a leader.

No one likes firing people. Well. No one who is any good at business leadership. I don’t care if you absolutely hate the person you are firing, if the person has actually committed a fireable offense and you are in the right to fire them, or even if you fire someone for good reason … suffice it to say … it never feels good to fire someone.

And because of that … a good business leader never delegates the tough termination. And they never send someone to terminate a direct report.

Generally speaking … you fire anyone who is a direct report, or you were directly responsive for hiring, face to face.

Yeah.

This may not be, logistically, the easiest thing to do but it is part of the burden of responsibility. It is the mantle you wear and it is what you are obligated to offer the person being terminated – dignity & respect.

Anything less than that and you are shirking your responsibility.  Anything less than that is … well … chicken shit. And you are a chickenshit business leader if you do not do these things.

Sure.

What I just shared is a hard lesson but one business people learn in young management.

I will never forget the first person I ever fired. Paul.

An absolute great guy in absolutely the wrong position and possibly career. But that doesn’t mean it was easy to terminate him. While I was 99% sure it was the right thing to do <and my boss and her bosses agreed> there was an extraordinarily loud 1% in my head that kept me awake that night.

Inevitably he chose a different career and went on to become an SVP of sales.

And he was kind enough to drop me a couple of notes to tell me it all worked out for the best.

But I will never forget firing him. I can honestly say I never forget anyone I have fired <and that is a semi-long list after years of management>.

However.

I would like to think my leadership career is measured more by the people I did not fire.

Not firing, in a larger organization, can be harder than you think.

I think I spent more time explaining to the most senior people why I would not fire some of the people I managed than I did ever discussing almost anything else about employees with them.

Well. That is … it felt that way.

The crap that floats upwards into senior leadership about individual employees is amazing. The littlest mistakes and quirks seem to take on exponential size when it arrives at the most senior people — and they do not hesitate to share their disproportional views.

Regardless. All of those views cut into the ‘trust belief’ … are they respected within the organization, do they have the trust of the organization and can they be trusted with their responsibility.

And that is when you earn your stripes as a manager. You do not cave in to the ‘easy thing to do’ but rather stand up for your people and let the chips fall as they may. Oh. And you learn it is totally worth it to not take the easy way out.

Let me be clear.

No one is perfect. I was not a perfect employee nor was a perfect manager. And, yet, when judging employees there sometimes is the ‘perfect measure’ of which becomes the absurd standard.

Yes.

We should judge senior people more critically but we should judge them fairly.

Anyway.

I didn’t fire a lot of people. And I can think of at least 4 who made me incredibly proud that I didn’t … despite some pressure from others to do so.

All 4 of these have sent me notes at different points, not thanking me for not firing them but rather for simply giving them a chance, believing in them and seeing something in them that they knew <because all employees know when they are under ‘the human resources microscope’>  many others didn’t.

All 4 of them have been professionally successful and, more importantly, are solid good human beings. Neither of those are because I didn’t fire them but rather vindicate the non-firing decision.

All that said.

Firing someone, despite the pain of actually doing it, is often the easy way out and is certainly a way to avoid looking at your own flaws.

Flaws? I sometimes believe one of the hardest things you can learn in your career is that your best is not particularly special.

Learning the fact that your talent, in reality, is matched by a shitload of people.

Learning that your best is relatively easily matched by a shitload of people.

It is an unfortunate truth that:

• Talent is talent.
• Smarts are smarts.
• And expertise is almost always relative.

At any given point in Life and your career you can look around you and, if you are self aware, you will note you are rarely the most talented, rarely the smartest one in the room and rarely the only expert.

Even on your best day you may not actually be the best.

I imagine that is a tough thing to get your head wrapped around.

But I also imagine if you do wrap your head around it evaluating employees and how you fire them is affected.

I always watch how someone terminates an employee.

You can learn a lot about people in that situation … and you can learn a shitload about how someone feels about dignity, respect and responsibility in how they terminate an employee.

===========

Postscript 1: under the general heading of “chickenshit” from a business perspective I will comment on a Trump firing:

There are hundreds of different viable reasons to fire someone and if you have the responsibility to hire & fire and it is ‘at will’ you can do what you want. But HOW Trump fired James Comey was chickenshit.

It wasn’t face to face with a direct report <or even face to face with anyone … just a letter delivered by a non-government employee>.

While there appeared to be no sense of urgency to terminate the action was taken with an absurd sense of senseless urgency which permitted Comey the indignity of being blindsided, in the middle of a commitment to the people who reported to him and not even in town.

This was a chicken shit way of terminating an honorable employee. It is indicative of Trump’s lack of character.

Postscript 2: Under the general heading of “this is some crazy shit” from a business perspective:

Firing someone for lack of confidence when the people who you are actually working for have a general lack of confidence in you is slightly surreal.

This may actually be the ironic point of this little postscript rant.

The stated “Donald J Trump fired his FBI Director because of ‘lack of confidence’ is … well … crazy shit.

Well. If that is a true criteria and I were to look at some national polling data I could argue Trump could be fired on the same criteria by the American people.

Most leaders do not defend their firing decision through childish name calling.

“Crying Chuck” .. “Richie” in quotes <instead of Richard>. Calling people diminishing names. Childish crap like that. I have been criticized as a leader for people I have fired, as well as people who I didn’t fire, and when appropriate I responded with some “why I did it” information but I never deflected my choice & decision onto others by suggesting they were not qualified to criticize … and I certainly always treated peers with a modicum of respect.

Tweet response rather than standing up in person

Sniping from the sidelines is not leadership.

Period.

‘nuf said.

=============

“Life is a test of endurance, strengths, challenges and patience.”

–

Kim Hoth

=================

“We are many, many people and yet we are one. What we do today with our thinking, what we do tomorrow with our thoughts, what we do with our actions and our interactions with people determines the course of the universe itself.

You are not powerless. You are not without power.” 

 –

Little Crow

=================

Well. I have written several times about how businesses fear doing what it truly takes to survive <for some good reasons & some bad reasons>. I was reminded of this because I just saw an article that said “GE is broken. Fixing it will be long & difficult.”

My 1^st thought?

They will fail to fix it just like Kodak failed to fix itself and … well … there is a long list of companies faced with ‘broken’ and failed to fix itself.

Oddly enough the reason is simple.

They weren’t willing to make the hard choices and were not willing to do what needed to be done.

== 

“Stop discussing how serious the problem is, and get serious about finding an immediate solution to it.”

Terry Mark

===============

This permits me to share my favorite business lesson. One from September 14^th 1812. The beginning of the lesson? On September 14^th 1812, the Russians set fire to Moscow in the face of Napoleon Bonaparte’s troops.

Yup. The governor of Moscow herded out most of the Moscow residents and then burned almost 80% of the city.

Just as a reminder to all non-historians this began the demise of Napoleon’s reign. This action not only permitted Russia to defeat Napoleon by forcing a debilitating retreat back to France, but it also began the demise of the Grand Armee of France. The point of this is, well, how far would you go to solve your business problem?

What happened on this date should make us all think about what we in the business world would sacrifice to win.

Look.

Do you imagine there was consensus in this Moscow discussion & decision? <hell no>

In fact. Can you imagine the first person who stood up and said “hey, I have an idea, how about we purposely burn Moscow so they can’t have it?”

<of course all said in Russian, probably after several liters of vodka, to the Czar and probably a couple of Cossack bodyguards … who have some very sharp swords>

Someone had some guts – lots of guts. I hesitate to believe many people in today’s business world have that type of guts.

The tough decisions are … well … tough. Hard choices are … well … hard. And I can guarantee they seem to get even tougher & harder when your survival is at stake.

—————

So would you be willing to burn your burn your business to win in the face of overwhelming odds?

——————

Far too often we try to keep our options open. Straddle the fence as it were. Keep some of what we value in place and do “radical” shit with other parts. 90% of the time that is simply mental masturbation. 90% of the time that is simply suggesting your Frankenstein strategy will help you survive … when what you actually need is a “6 million Dollar Man” strategy.

Sometimes you have to kill the structure to rebuild something better from the ashes.

I say all this because I believe more businesses, whether they believe their survival is at stake or not, should be sitting down and having the hard discussion … what ARE you willing to do to win?

Heck. Maybe most importantly. When you look at your situation do you even recognize how desperate your situation is?

<remember … someone in Russia recognized, and had the balls to say something about, the fact they were about to get their ass kicked>

I mention that because the business landscape is strewn with the wreckage of businesses that did not envision their own demise.

Next. Think about ‘burning the city’ as a solution.

I believe we can all agree that someone “stepped out of the box” with a solution. Ok. They actually stepped ‘into the box’ and said “let’s destroy the box.’

And let’s be clear. I have to imagine neither of these points, as stated above, were popular, well-received nor accepted as a 100% agreement “so what we will do” type of moment.

Anyway. Survival or not, one of the most difficult things a company can do is address their situation in the market. It is just not a fun discussion <usually lots of fingers get pointed in a variation of a circular firing squad>.

In general I believe most companies and businesses are pretty good at assessing their situation in the marketplace. I, for one, have been in a number of those types of meetings where everyone sits down and honestly assesses the difficult position they are in. In other words, you can see the hole you are in or heading into.

I also have been through too many meetings where that same business just isn’t willing to do what it takes to resolve the situation.

Hey. I am not suggesting this is an easy discussion <but at least we don’t have Cossacks with really sharp swords standing around us while we are discussing what to do>.

So.

Are you willing to put 80% of everything you have up in flames to win? I guess it depends on whether you believe the situation merits it. And that is a toughie for sure because we are certainly a country and group of optimists and in general we always believe there is a positive horizon. All that means is we tend to lean back in our expensive chairs in some expensive board room and think, well, c’mon … if you believe there is some positive horizon then burning ‘the city’ isn’t necessary.

But. What if it is necessary? Would you recognize it? Would someone in your group recognize it?

Oh. And if someone did would you listen?

Look. I don’t have the answers. And I am clearly a “burning the city” type of person. I am quite fine with destroying to create <not just destroying for the sake of destroying>.

You may not agree with me, but I would point out burning Moscow sure as shit helped guarantee the survival of Russia.

In the end?

Keep your eyes open. And keep your mind open to solutions. Most of the time we see the danger but, in our optimism, seek creative ways to navigate the danger all the while ignoring the fact danger has no finesse and is a sledgehammer. Ponder. Sometimes the extreme solution, while scary, is the right solution.