A mind once stretched by a new idea never regains its original dimensions.

===================

Ok. The whole concept of “original” idea seems to bring out the worst in people. And maybe because I get to teach and talk with high school kids on occasion (and, boy, do they have ideas — lots and lots and lots of ideas — all original in their minds) I get to talk about the “truth” about original ideas.

For example.

I get to say. There are no original ideas.

Okay.

That was black & white.

Let’s say they are truly truly rare.

Look. I have been lucky in the whole ‘seeing awesome ideas’ category.

I have seen some of the world’s best innovations groups.

I have seen some of the most successful entrepreneurial business people in the world present their ideas.

I have seen some of the most creative people in the world show ideas.

And?

I think I can count on one hand truly original ideas.

Okay.

Derivatives and nuances?

Sure.

Original?

One hand.

So. Let’s break original ideas down into two aspects.

1. The thought.

2. The implementation.

The thought is a “what if” or “could this be” type scenario.

Forget it.

Here is the truth.

Someone, somewhere, has had the same thought.

Some people have figured out a way to share it. And if those some people have figured out a way of articulating it well <or well enough that people understand it> they are the ‘some people’ with credit for an original idea.

By the way. All these are diminishing numbers.

Ok <and “uh oh” thought to follow>.

And then there are the ones who articulate it well enough to be understood and have an audience who (a) gives a shit and (b) wants to do something with it.

By this time you can be found somewhere dancing on the head of pin with the few others who fit there with you.

Oops.

“Wants to do something with it.”

Yup.

(b) is important because truly original ideas scare the crap out of most people.

——–

“Don’t worry about people stealing an idea. If it’s original, you will have to ram it down their throats.”

Howard Aiken

——-

Now, unfortunately, the quote above is incredibly dead on right.

Huh? Go ahead and visit most management teams and talk about scared and ‘great ideas’ and I can almost gaurantee you will get some happily delievred version of “great ideas should scare you”. Uhm. Here is where you unfortunately run into the infamous “what people say versus what people do.”

What do I mean?

People say: “show me ideas that scare me” quickly followed by “if it scares us it must be a good idea.”

And then.

People do nothing. Yeah. Nothing.

They may say: “They <note: it’s never ‘me’ it is always ‘they’> were too scared to do it. They just didn’t see the risk return on it.”

Well. I will make one point here and then move on … ORIGINAL MEANS IT HASN’T BEEN SEEN OR DONE BEFORE SO HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN!!!!

<yes. I shouted that AND used exclamation points>

Maybe because it is new <and therefore untried or unseen> people get nervous. Anyway, suffice it to say, original ideas are every rare.

Okay. Moving on to the protecting the relatively rare original ideas.

People spend gobs <lots and lots and lots … well … you get the point> of time worrying about protecting proprietary ideas and proprietary process and ‘original ideas.’

Corollary: Even if they don’t have one they invest lots of energy discussing and worrying about them.

Okay. Look.

If I am a drug company, maybe a software company or technology company with some engineering widgetology or maybe P&G which has some skin lotion formulation that some whiz bang ingredient then, yeah, you get protective. Okay. “Maybe” you get protective.

note: Just for humor at the end of this post I have included a “proposed confidentiality process” we sent to a maniacally protective prospective client <yes … we did send an actual one, but they were fun people as well as maniacally litigious and wanted to have a little laugh over their obsessive behavior with regard to confidentiality>

Anyway. Throughout my career I have encountered company owners who were obsessed with ‘protecting our original ideas.’ I kept on trying to point out to them that unless you’re a new products innovation group the odds of you truly having an original idea is lower than USA men’s team winning the World Cup.

I sometimes believe people spend so much time thinking they have an original idea and investing so much energy trying to keep it a secret they forget the energy it takes to actually get it to happen.

In fact. To be honest I believe I have been in several situations where we actually had a fairly original idea, however, in presenting the idea I probably went overboard trying to draw links to things people have done in non related industries. It’s a little crazy, but original ideas have an easier time being implemented if it feels ‘fresh’ to the industry it is going to happen in but ‘used’ by someone else first.

Note: this is actually a concept called “optimal newness”

If you are not very, very, careful, you actually end up making original ideas look ‘not so original’ so that they can be implemented.

Crazy huh?

Regardless, in the end, I would worry less about whether it is “original” or not. I would worry more about whether it was a good idea.

And idea that will work.

In fact … it is true (take this one to the bank) if you stop thinking ‘original’ and start looking for “similar to” it becomes easier to implement and easier to sell (or have someone implement).

Sound wacky? Yup.

But it’s true.

Just face it. Originality (as with many things in life) is a shade of grey.

Or maybe an aspect of something that already exists. Or maybe just worry about this:

——-

“Until you can create something that captivates people, I’d invite you to just shut up. It’s easy to attack and destroy an act of creation. It’s a lot more difficult to perform one.”

Chuck Palahniuk

——–

Worry less about original.

Worry more about the idea and worry more about making it actually happen versus protecting it.

So. That said. Here are some thoughts if you want to protect your “original” ideas:

<yes … we really shared this with a client>

——–

< dear maniacal company>: Additional Confidentiality Steps

–          Cyanide pills

The pills are embedded in team member teeth caps with a tracking chip set to identify and explode upon the presence of a <competitive company> employee.

(note: this is covered in our dental plan)

–          Enigma coding machines

We have identified the two last working Enigma coding machines.  We can place one in your offices and the other will remain in <the managing director’s> office (which is better than card protected room because his executive assistant is better than a pit bull protecting that office).

–          Etch-a-Sketch communications

All communications will take place via etch-a-sketch. Twice a day all team members will shake their etch-a-sketch.

–          Invisible Ink

All written communications will be conducted in invisible ink. (but still under lock and key guidelines).

–          Fort Knox

Quick research has uncovered that the majority of the gold has been removed from Fort Knox and space is available. We may have to tweak the compensation agreement, but we would be willing to consider setting up a field office in the Fort Knox vault to service your business.

–          Cosa Nostra

Through some relationships <our managing director> has, we may be able to make some arrangements to completely eliminate the <competitive company’s> conflict once and for all (if you know what we mean). Once again, we may have to tweak the compensation arrangement to accommodate this service.

These are just some initial ideas which we would be willing to discuss in the interest of collaboration.

======

Originally posted August 2010

====

“Once, I saw a bee drown in honey, and I understood.”

–

Nikos Kazantzakis

==============

So. One of the most difficult things to do in Life is to temper, or ration, your enjoyment.

Wow.

That sounds crazy doesn’t it?

It is kind of odd, but happiness, or bliss, has some similar characteristics to despair in that once you get in the quicksand of the feeling it is incredibly difficult to get out.

But, you may ask, despair I understand … but why the heck would you want to get out of the bliss?

I won’t answer with the trite ‘there can be too much of a good thing’ because I struggle to find an example of too much good thing. Instead … I will suggest that drowning is simply drowning.

It is about the inability to handle the situation.

It is about losing control.

It is about encountering a reality that ultimately you cannot deal with.

That is drowning.

But maybe even worse <in my bliss example>?

You actually can swim, but you have just become so immersed in the bliss of the moment you have forgotten to swim.

Yeah.

You drown even though you can swim <ponder that>.

I will point out that this is very very easy to permit to happen.

Especially if, contextually to everything else in your life, this honey appears to be water in a Life dying of thirst. In other words, we confuse the honey for water.

That may sound weird, if slightly unbelievable, but it happens to us all the time.

Sometimes Life is such a grind day to day it makes us thirst for anything to relieve the dryness of the grind. Relief comes in a variety of shapes and forms – some healthy & some unhealthy <self help books with formulas for Life & social media come to mind>.

This means that when the moments of bliss or ‘honey moments’ occur we stop and dive into the honey as deep as we can and drink as if our thirst can never be quenched.

And sometimes we drink so deeply we never stop to breathe.

And sometimes we dive so deep that no matter how big a breath we took before we dove … we run out of air … and drown.

Yeah.

I know.

In such a crazy world where the most of people deserve some extra happiness and true bliss it seems pretty stupid of me to talk about drowning in a honey moment.

And I will admit.

I never thought I would ever write about drowning in bliss in a cautionary tone.

Well.

Maybe all I am really offering is simply a word of caution.

Maybe it is a reminder that maybe there are more moments than you imagine and you don’t need to drown in one … just recognize, like most bees do, that if you are persistent you can find honey everywhere.

Maybe I just saw this quote … paused … and could clearly see in my mind how we worker bees could easily drown if and when we found honey.

Maybe I just worry, on occasion, today’s world can make us so thirsty for honey we forget to not drown when we actually find some honey.

Maybe I realize I like drowning <I am a voracious reader and user of some social media and love working>.

Or.

Maybe I just liked thinking about why a bee could drown in honey.

<originally posted November 2015>

===========

“We all have a personal pool of quicksand inside us where we begin to sink and need friends and family to find us and remind us of all the good that has been and will be.”

—-

Regina Brett

==============

“Making the best of things is… a damn poor way of dealing with them.

My whole life has been a series of escapes from that quicksand.”

—-

Rose Wilder Lane

=========

Setbacks. Not all setbacks are created equal and we need to stop drawing false comparisons. In addition not all people are in equal positions , therefore, equal setbacks do not create equal consequences. Look. We all encounter setbacks in our lives. Some people call that ‘life.’

The positive psychologists just call the setbacks “obstacles” as if they were some hurdles you just learn to either leap or get around.

In other words, it is assumed if you stick to your guns no setback is a dead end but rather simply a speed bump.

In other words, we are offered some simplistic discussions about overcoming obstacles.

If you really really think about this … this advice is kind of nuts. Yeah. You may have to think really hard to come on to my side of this argument. You may have to work hard because as soon as you are old enough to comprehend words you get bludgeoned with advice and wisdom with regard to ‘overcoming obstacles.’ In its most simplistic form it is uttered as “if you believe, you can overcome anything” or even the famous “it’s not the mistake that matters it is what you do with that mistake.” You get pummeled with things like this:

===============

“Do not fear the conflict, and do not flee from it; where there is no struggle, there is no Virtue.”

Joyram 

===========

“When you start living the life of your dreams, there will always be obstacles, doubters, mistakes and setbacks along the way.  But with hard work, perseverance and self-belief there is no limit to what you can achieve.”

Roy Bennett

=============

Well. I don’t doubt the sincerity of this advice but what all of this trite wisdom, mostly offered by wealthier & whiter people whose setbacks are slightly different, okay, exponentially different then not only the everyday schmuck, but those who are in more vulnerable environments, seems to overlook is that A setback is manageable but persistent setbacks are a whole different game.

I love virtue but after a while you cannot sustain yourself, mentally and physically, on virtue alone when faced with persistent setbacks. What I mean is that we treat setbacks as if they were like a cold — with a little time and some fortitude and some chicken noodle soup you can overcome it and move on. But sometimes setbacks are like a virus … this virus is more like ‘persistent setbacks.’

And, yes, Persistent Setbacks are different than what I call “quicksand” or “Quicksand Setbacks.” Quicksand setbacks are more often in a defined period of time and comes to fruition mostly in a helpless unraveling before your eyes.

It’s like in a football game where one fumble leads to an interception which leads to the other team running a punt back for a touchdown. Everyone fights as hard as they can … but the setbacks stream in a way that drives you deeper and deeper into a hole. Most times quicksand setbacks stop and depending on the quicksand you are in a deep dark fucking hole or just a hole <or something in-between>. To be clear. A hole is a hole. It sucks. But most times if you do get your shit together, get your head on straight and maybe get a little help you can get out of the hole <regardless of how deep it is>. And once you get out of a quicksand hole you actually find you have learned some stuff and, well, most times you see future quicksand and avoid it. Quicksand setbacks is about unraveling and what can be unraveled can most typically be sewn back together again.

I would note wealthier people (or anyone with some money safety net) have it easier facing consequences of a quicksand set back but even poor people recognize it is a finite suckedness and suck it up and move on.

And then there are persistent setbacks.

….. and, yet, the opportunities can only be found in darker deeper holes ………..

They are brutal. Absolutely frickin’ brutal.

You face a setback.

You pick yourself up, recover and get going again. And maybe just as you get going again … well … you get another setback.

This one hurts a little more because you knew you had invested and you knew you had done it right … and you still got screwed again with another setback.

You figure “what the hell, I did it once and I can do it again” and you pick yourself up again and get going, recover and you are starting to put the last setback in your rear view mirror and … doh … another setback.

This one hurts. Hurts bad.

But … you know you have no alternative but to get up, try again and get going. This time is a little different though. This time you are a little more tentative. Maybe even doubt a little more. You still put energy into it and you are working hard but this time your head is more on a swivel.

Uhm. And then another setback happens. Most will get up and go again. But this time doubt is your companion and while you are trying your best … you are most likely not really your best.

And then another setback happens.

This is where the trite positive ‘pick yourself up’ people sort of get things wrong. It’s not that you don’t have the desire … you just have lost hope that you will ever get a break or that it will finally be someone else who will have a setback and not you.

Sigh.

I read this quote somewhere:

“Time to bet on yourself, big, huge, gigantic bet on your genius and abilities to change the world for the better because nothing is going to stop you, no force is going to hold you down or get in your way and make you lose your inner motivation again.”

Well.

That sound good, really good, but persistent setbacks are a whole different game. You can be motivated, you can bet on yourself and all of those things <which are usually necessary for any success> but, well, what happens if you have to keep on going back to the well again and again and again?

What happens when Life just seems to provide one more setback after you have just recovered and gained some momentum for the last setback … which you had done after the setback before that one and … well … you get it.

There is only so much anyone can take before they get tired, start having doubts, and then simply lose hope. This is where I believe people with money really don’t understand what it is like to not have money. Persistent setbacks not only don’t give you a break they don’t give you any breathing room AND they actually steal oxygen.

Look. Everyone can pull themselves together after a setback. A quicksand  setback is a little trickier, but, depending on deeply you sink, most people can pull themselves together.

But persistent setbacks? Whew. You aren’t looking for a big break … you are just looking for A break. When in a persistent setback cycle it is relentlessly exhausting.

Your plans all seem to not go as planned.

You can do your best, and it may actually be pretty good, and it can still fail.

You can be really smart, have a smart idea, articulate it smartly, and it can still be rejected or ignored.

You can work harder than anyone else and pour your heart & soul into something and it can still go unnoticed.

And all of that gets exponentially harder to take with each ongoing setback. In addition, persistent setbacks take on a darker hue if you start looking around you and see mediocrity winning and rising, people with money, and some of the least qualified not facing the setbacks you are.

Now. I did some research. And I found how we deal with setbacks depends on how much control someone feels they have over a situation.

The study found that changes in certain brain areas were related to persisting with goals after encountering setbacks. Participants more often persisted with their goals, choosing to try again to earn the same academic degree, when they perceived they had control over a setback than if they perceived that they did not have control over a setback. What’s more, activity in a brain area called the ventral striatum was related to persisting with goals in cases where the setbacks were controllable. Participants who showed greater decreases in brain activity in the ventral striatum when they encountered a controllable setback were more likely to persist with their goals.

 On the other hand, changes in a brain area called the ventromedial prefrontal cortex were related to persistence when the setbacks were uncontrollable. The ventromedial prefrontal cortex is involved in regulation of emotions, and the new study suggests this brain area helps people cope with negative emotions in order to persist in the case of uncontrollable setbacks.

In other words, when setbacks are uncontrollable they affect us in a more emotional way. Yup. When persistent setbacks seem to continue in ways that are out f our control, well, they kick the shit out of you mentally.

I say that because I think most of us overlook how persistent setbacks affect the mind. And while I just outlined how I believe it affects an individual there is also an effect on the people around you.

Say you are a parent and you are in this doomed cycle of persistent setbacks. As a child that is all you see. That is all you hear about. That is what you start thinking Life is more like versus what you see on TV with regard to ‘work harder than anyone else and your dreams can come true <or you can do anything you want>.’ There are future generation repercussions.

Let me tell you what I mean by showing you some research numbers I just saw. Among the dozens of research studies post 2016 election I found some number about the working class and education that made me sit up a little and think about this whole ‘persistent setback’ issue and how if it is affects a swath of the population long enough … can affect their larger attitudes.

In an analysis by the Public Religion Research Institute and The Atlantic 54% of white working-class Americans said investing in college education is a risky gamble — this includes a whopping 61% of white working-class men <white working-class voters who held this belief were almost twice as likely as their peers to support Trump>.

Ok. That is bad. But it gets worse. This belief is even more prevalent among white working-class Americans under 30. This belief means that they are not buying into the idea that if you do work really hard, if you do study and go to school, you will be able to get ahead. In my persistent setback theory we have an entire swath of America who has given up hope that they can ‘overcome the setbacks and get ahead.”

“The survey shows that many white working-class Americans, especially men, no longer see that path available to them. … It is this sense of economic fatalism, more than just economic hardship, that was the decisive factor in support for Trump among white working-class voters.”

<Robert P. Jones, the CEO of PRRI>

I don’t really want to discuss Trump voters and white working class people today, but I do want to make a point about persistent setbacks and how they affect people’s attitudes. Black, white, Asian, American Indian, whatever … persistent setbacks are an equal opportunity hope killer.

Any setback sucks. I don’t care how old you are … a setback is a setback and depending on where you are in life a setback can be crushing.

All the positive encouragement to pick yourself up and get going again kind of misses the mark. I don’t offer a solution today I am just making a point and bitching.

And all the bitching aside.

Everyone just needs to recognize that setbacks come in all shapes and sizes, not all setbacks are created equal, setbacks can be deceiving in their appearances and if you don’t recognize all that you run the risk of missing what someone else is enduring with regard to persistent setbacks. Oh. And remember.

1. There is a difference in consequences from a similar setback to people with dissimilar financial status.
2. There IS a difference between a quicksand setback & and a persistent setback.

===============

“Philosophy is to be studied, not for the sake of any definite answers to its questions, since no definite answers can, as a rule, be known to be true, but rather for the sake of the questions themselves; because these questions enlarge our conception of what is possible, enrich our intellectual imagination and diminish the dogmatic assurance which closes the mind against speculation; but above all because, through the greatness of the universe which philosophy contemplates, the mind also is rendered great, and becomes capable of that union with the universe which constitutes its highest good.”

Bertrand Russell, The Problems of Philosophy

==============

So. Every once in a while you get asked a question that makes you think about yourself and reflect on how you have changed. I was asked one the other day <a seemingly harmless question>.

What was your favorite class in college?

My answer was easy. Philosophy.

Now. I would like to think I have become more of a philosopher late in age. Okay. Maybe just more philosophical.  I imagine mostly because I would like to think I finally have the knowledge and mind adeptness to grasp such intangible concepts … things I just couldn’t do in youth.

But as I type that I am reminded of a quote from Game of Thrones:

Tyrion to Cersei:

“There’s nothing worse than a late blooming philosopher.”

Oops. I have become what Tyrion hates — a late blooming philosopher.

Anyway.

Another piece of information about my favorite class Philosophy.

Despite being my favorite class — I got a D.

But I loved the class.

I didn’t know it at the time but it began my love affair with ambiguity. In general, academically, I was a relatively indifferent student but I worked my ass off for that class. And, yeah, still got a D.

Oh. Once again. I loved that class.

I loved it all despite the fact that philosophy is all about logical thinking, yet, ending with sometimes illogical ambiguity. In hindsight at that age I was too linear a thinker and while I loved the thinking I ultimately scorned the ambiguity. Or. Maybe it scorned me.

As a moth to flame I was drawn to it and got roasted as I got too near the flame. But. It was definitely the beginning of my true love affair with ambiguity. All that class reading and studying hovered in the back of my head for years. Never really moving to the forefront, but always lurking.

Ah. And then my next memorable date with ambiguity. It was in business school where I entered b-school lore.

“I am indifferent.”

During a case study discussion the professor says “so Mr. McTague, what solution do you believe is the proper option here?” Me…“I am indifferent.”  <I may have even said “I don’t care.”>

The poor choice of words aside <which stayed written on the board at the front for the remainder of the semester> I was beginning to grasp the fact there is rarely one best solution — just several better, or worse, solutions any of which will get you to where you want to go. Philosophically this was a HUGE business lesson. It is really practical useful learning assuming you can actually implement it in the workplace. Philosophy continued to lurk sometimes moving to the forefront in the form of philosophical quotes or random thoughts I gathered in the development of speeches I gave.

Interestingly this love of ambiguity has served me well in business.

Inevitably it meant that I never really got hung up making decisions. I kind of figured out making a decision somewhere in the spectrum of “the better decisions” was better than dicking around seeking the ever elusive so-called ‘best’ decision.

But, in thinking about the what is your favorite class question, I started thinking about if I had always had this philosophical muscle or did it develop over time.

So I pulled out my high school year book and looked at some things teachers wrote in it:

–          My Spanish teacher … “muy perezoso “<very lazy> … but I got an A in her class.

–          My wacky English teacher wrote something in Latin <and the extent of my Latin knowledge revolved around ‘cogito ergo sum’> pulchra manu. pulchra cogitandi. I thought she was a wackjob and never bothered translating it until maybe 15 years later: “beautiful handwriting. beautiful thinker.”

–          My history teacher: Most interesting student I have ever had.

–          My physics/chemistry teacher: Pursue physics. Physics will never be the same if you do.

–          My guidance counselor <who, in hindsight, I probably caused him more gray hair than anything or anyone he ran into in his entire life>: I hope you find what you are looking for. <note: because he, nor I, had a clue what I was looking for>

** note: I highly recommend pulling out your high school yearbooks and read what your teachers wrote about you. It is humbling, terrifying and satisfying (all at the same time)

Well. I imagine I was a very frustrating kid to my teachers and parents. I know I was a very confused kid. In hindsight I was just as frustrated as them, but I wasn’t mature enough to be actually frustrated just confused.

Now. Some adults handled me better than others. Some in their frustration tried to force me into some decision or tighten the boundaries. Others simply tried to widen the boundaries to show me how far I could go.

Regardless. I am sure I frustrated both and all.

In comparison, in some ways I envy my sister. I am relatively sure she was, and is, intellectually sharper <and smarter> than I. In addition I sense she figured out how to focus her brain <and intellectualness> much earlier than I did. Ah. That focus thing. She could have been a world class engineer (if that is what she elected to be) or lawyer, shit, I believe she could have been a world class anything if she elected to pursue it. She could focus, and still can, her brain power. That is a talent. She has it <I do not>. Oh. Separate note. Instead of engineering or law she selected almost an opposite direction and has done quite well.

Her strength? Focus.

My strength? Ambiguity.

** note: but I believe we both have a strong low tolerance for bullshit … which philosophy can sometimes hover around

Anyway. I am sure any specific strength, with its correlating weaknesses, is frustrating to adults which makes us <as kids> frustrated with adults.

But I imagine that is how it is with adults and children. Each disappoints the other in ways that neither recognizes nor intends and it takes time to overcome the disappointment. In the end a child doesn’t always understand the complexities of adult choices and an adult rarely understands the complexities of what a child is going through and the choices they make or don’t make.

A child’s best hope in life is that parents, and all adults, try to do the best for the child. That doesn’t mean that making those decisions on ‘what is best’ is easy and, in fact, it is a difficult process and the choices made for you imprint you … maybe mark you, in some way, that is, if you permit it to. If you deal with it, you move on and progress and it may even mark you positively.

We end up growing up the best we can under the circumstances given us.

I would suggest it does us little good to second guess ourselves years later. To me it seems a better option to simply try to understand why we are as we are, who we are, and then try and better ourselves by learning from that.

Anyway. My path was, and is, certainly winding. I imagine it is winding not because of capability, or the lack thereof, but rather because of my inherent love of ambiguity. I do know that as I have grown older not only have I become a ‘late blooming philosopher’ but also recognize I seek opportunities wherein lies ambiguity.

I philosophically, and tangibly, like finding solutions within the ambiguity <in business and in Life>.

All that said.

“A musician must make music, a painter must paint, a poet must write if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What one can be, one must be.”

Abraham Maslow

Maslow was a smart guy. I do not believe I am a deep thinker nor am I a philosopher. And I am absolutely sure that I don’t have it all figured out — that includes myself, Life and business. Even today, of later age, I am a work in progress. I imagine that means I live a Life somewhat constantly in ambiguity.

I imagine in a broad sense that being philosophical is something I do as I seek to understand fundamental truths about myself, the world we live in <and the wacky people residing in this world> and, interestingly, business itself.

In the end I would still bet that I would get a poor grade in philosophy. I am too pragmatic to be a philosopher. I like, far too much, actually finding an answer <or at least the best answer available> within the ambiguity. That doesn’t mean I cannot be philosophical, just not a philosopher.

Well. No ambiguity there, huh?

==========

“Of all the things created and built by humankind, nothing in my mind is better or worthier than bridges.

They belong to all and treat all alike; they are useful, always built for purpose, at a spot where most human needs entwine.”

–

Ivo Andric

==============

Well. When I saw this quote I thought “wow, I have the companion piece to my Liminal space post”.

Liminal spaces tend to make people feel uncomfortable as places of transition <neither here nor there>. They are kind of the fascinating, interesting, but oft wretched, spots where you have left what was but have not entered into what will be. It is the intangible that create the niggling discomfort or unease <or anticipation>. You are kind of disconnected from any of your real comfort zones.

Bridges make people feel comfortable. They are tangible. They show the clear path from where you are to where you can go. With a bridge you know you can always be connected with a comfort zone <even if you never go back>.

Regardless.

These two things are companions in crime.

Liminal spaces, voids as it were, tend to serve to refocus and remind people of what is at stake and what is really important.

Bridges offer a place to focus. They offer us … well … some pragmatic hope that you can actually get somewhere <even if where you are is kind of unclear>.

Connecting spaces, which is really what bridges are, are invaluable to us physically and mentally.

Almost everyone’s minds excitedly explore uncertain forays into interesting things and, at exactly the same time, get lost as they get snagged on the edge of unexplored thoughts or even those mischievously evil second guesses that are inevitably associated with the uncertainty in much of our lives, thoughts and growth.

And this can make us feel uncomfortable and our mind wrestles with this discomfort as well as dealing with the uncertainty of, well, this liminal space.

Here is some truth.

Ignorance is boundless.

Knowledge is limited <only in terms of time>.

Learning, and unlearning, often contains more uncertainty than it does certainty.

This means our minds are always grappling with the hollow spaces of our lives, i.e., the empty spaces in which we know we have to cross, but just aren’t sure we can see how to cross.

That, in a nutshell, is why we love bridges.

Look. I am a strategy guy or maybe I could be called a “here to there” thinker guy. I like liminal spaces AND I like bridges. While I like navigating liminal spaces I don’t like going back again and again to the same, therefore, I also like to build a bridge in ever liminal space I visit in business.

Not all strategy type people do that.

Some like (just) the theory – the larger ‘trend.’ They are called futurists. I tend to call them relatively worthless <or maybe just misguided in their self title>.

Some like navigating the liminal space, seeing the web of the trend itself and doing the mental gymnastics to weave your way through, leaving some bread crumbs for others to follow.

Some like the practical step-by-step plan of getting from one place to another <the places are less relevant the bridge is all that matters>. I would argue they weren’t traditional strategists but rather strategy implementers, but, call them what you may they play an incredibly important role in getting people from here to there and what is to what could be.

Me? I am a pragmatic strategy person.

Identifying “what could be” is all about navigating liminal spaces and deciding which door to open and walk through … what path to choose and what rivers to cross. It gets the heart pumping, is not for the faint of heart, and is fraught with peril.

I say that because building a bridge seems to help not only tangibly show the ‘rightness’ in deciding the ‘right what could be’ but it also gives people a path. A path in which they have less uncertainty and can focus on … well … getting from here to there.

To me not building a bridge just seems like leaving something incomplete. Like maybe offering someone a map while I could have shared a map AND built a road.

Let me say I don’t think the world needs more of me <god no>, but I do believe we need to appreciate the pragmatic bridge builders in our midst.

Bridges are not typically built willy nilly in some random place. More often they are placed in useful places constructed with connection of those in one place and those in another.

What was and what will be <as it were>.

I am a business guy. But, I admit, I stop and admire well-built bridges all the time. I admire the bridges with character and wear & tear as trains rumble across them.

I do so because they remind me that a well-built bridge may be one of the worthiest things in the world.

While I wish more business thinkers, and strategy people, would think about this kind of shit more often I will lower my wishes and just say everyone should stop and admire a bridge on occasion.

They may be one of the worthiest, least appreciated, things we encounter.

Plus. In a world that seem increasingly uncertain where the intangibles & unknowns seem to outnumber the tangible & certain, well, bridges can be quite tangible, quite certain … and quite comforting. Great reminders that we humans have always been quite good at figuring out how to connect here to there.

————

“Drowning men, it is said, cling to wisps of straw.”

–

Fyodor Dostoevsky

====

There may be nothing worse than the feeling of something slipping away from you.

Standing there just watching whatever it is slip away like water through fingers.

Okay. Maybe worse?

The feeling like it is all slipping away from you and there is really nothing you can do. And, yet, you will cling to anything … even wisps of straw hoping you can hold on to whatever it is that is slipping away.

It is a helpless feeling.

Especially the first time you drown.

Oh. Yes. I just said “first time.”

Yeah. You can actually drown many times in Life & business.

That’s the thing with Life <and much of business>.

This kind of drowning rarely kills you in Life <real drowning does>. It really only kills the moment, the ‘thing’, the feeling, the opportunity, the whatever.

Regardless.

Drowning sucks.

Here is a Life truth about why it sucks so much.

Moments, ‘things’, feelings, opportunities, possibilities – die fast .. like in the blink of an eye. In a blink of an eye what was possible simply disappears and is no longer possible.

===

“In the blink of an eye, what was possible is possible no longer.”

Nelika McDonald

===

Despite this blink of an eye timing … we see the situation as drowning. This means we cling to wisps of straws that are not really there. And we call it drowning but in reality we are already ‘dead’ <with that opportunity>.

Here is the good news.

While this feeling sucks, it is easily recognized. And because it is easily recognized , if we truly pay attention, we can avoid wasting energy and time clinging to the wisps of straws and swim away to something else.

I am not suggesting this is easy.

I simply suggest recognizing something is half the battle.

I simply suggest we should not ignore the easy part because drowning is rarely sneaky.

Let me end with where I began – clinging to wisps of straw. We all will drown. It’s just part of living Life to its fullest. Therefore I would suggest it is incredibly important to recognize that we are desperately clinging to only little wisps of straw and, instead, should be seeking to swim away to seek the next moment and opportunity to, well, fly.

==================

“Maybe you can afford to wait.

“People are all over the world telling their one dramatic story and how their life has turned into getting over this one event. Now their lives are more about the past than their future. “

=

Chuck Palahniuk

——-

We all have moments, you know, cross road moments.  Ok. There are actually a shitload of crossroad moments, in fact, so many your head would explode if you truly counted them. But, in this case, I mean ‘that moment’ kind of moment.

That moment we believe our world and Life shifted direction.

One moment in which something died within us … or something came to Life within us.

The proverbial and metaphorical fork in the road.

I will not argue that these moments not only play a large role in life nor will I argue that these moments can be infinitely important. But. What I will suggest is that, maybe, we make these moments important to us in the wrong way.

Maybe we need not reflect upon them because they are … well … in the past.

We have already left ‘there’ and are now ‘here’ and are … well … on our way to ‘somewhere.’

I don’t know. I saw this quote and it made me think.

It made me think about how often when asked about ‘how did you get here’ we so quickly shift into the past and, well, not talk about what is happening now. Nor do we answer this question by discussing where we are going, i.e., the future.

It made me think about how we value our past decisions so highly and maybe not value decisions to come at the same value.

It made me think that we assess value in size <one big moment> rather than in quantity <the little moments that got us ‘here’>.

It made me think about how many choices we have, have many of those choices are truly meaningful, and how many ore are actually meaningless, how poorly we assess meaningful & meaningless, and how often a ‘fork choice’ doesn’t really look like a fork when standing there.

Sure. Some of us probably have ‘that moment’ stored somewhere in our past. But I imagine more of us actually have a whole bunch of seemingly meaningless little moments, almost unrecognizable, that have got us to where we are attitudinally, intellectually and physically.

It made me think maybe by reliving ‘that moment’ we are setting us up for unrealistic future moment management.

It made me think maybe we are continuously seeking big earth shattering moments in the future by doing so.

It made me think that maybe, in reality, the future is made up of infinitesimal little moments in which we are made, broken, reshaped & remade.

Aw. Shit. This is all philosophical rambling on my part.

All I know for sure is that I will hesitate from here on out to dramatize some past event as ‘meaningful in my Life’ beyond the fact it was but a moment. I will hesitate to think that “everything would have been different” if i had done something in that moment.

I will not argue that there are some moments we would all like to have back and do something differently. I imagine my real point is that there were most likely a succession of moments that led up to it (that were just as important) and there are moments after that moment in which things may have unfolded just as poorly, or maybe not as well, if we had done something differently.

But I do know that I will just take … well …. a moment or two clarifying in my mind that some moment I am thinking about was not necessarily ‘that moment’, but simply ‘a moment.’

I imagine my hope in doing this is that maybe thinking this way I will make every moment a little more important in the future.

=================

“A boss creates fear, a leader confidence.

A boss fixes blame, a leader corrects mistakes.

 A boss knows all, a leader asks questions.

A boss makes work drudgery, a leader makes it interesting.

A boss is interested in himself or herself, a leader is interested in the group.”

—–

Russell H. Ewing

===============

This is not about threatening employees about making mistakes <i.e., ”you are gonna get fired if you fuck this up”>, but rather threatening employees who are exhibiting behavior that isn’t what you want from them. This is also less a thought about managing individuals, but more about managing a culture and groups of individuals – exploring systemic behavior issues.

Now. I have to tell you.

Having managed a shitload of people there has certainly been some point where I wanted to threaten my employees if not just strangle them <and I am sure the feeling was mutual on occasion>. Most of us just take a deep breath. Maybe close the door of their office and throw something. And then calm down enough to realize that most employees’ actions & behaviors are derivative of our own leadership.

As a corollary to that thought, if the actions & behaviors reflect a more systemic issue and not just some random individuals, well, you know it is reflective of your own leadership <or lack of leadership>.

Ah … “most of us.” Well. Not “all of us.”

Management by fear is the go-to tactic of the old generation of business leaders. They were also the ‘benevolent dictators’ <sort of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Men of Hitlers> as well as the dickheads who treated everyone like shit except the ones who did exactly what they were told to do.

Once again, about the only business people who believe in this type of management are:

<1> those who have never run a larger organization which demands cultural alignment for effectiveness,

<2> managers over the age of 55 — mostly white ones,

<3> weak leaders, or

<4> narcissistic arrogant dickheads.

=========== 

“I suppose that leadership at one time meant muscle; but today it means getting along with people.

Indira Gandhi

============

Threatening employees with forced confidentiality agreements, law suits, sweeping statements of firing a shitload of people, and even “you are either with me or against me” type threats is not only stupid but it is less than effective.

That doesn’t encourage the best behavior, which is self-motivated, but rather all this does is create ‘forced behavior.’ Now. I am no behavior expert, but even I know if I am forcing a certain type of behavior and, ultimately, that behavior is never absorbed as ‘self-affirmation of what I believe and like”, well, the first chance an employee gets to ‘unforce themselves’ they are gonna do it.

Here is what most of the good leaders know.

You can never, and I mean never, absolve yourself of the behaviors of your employees. You are either complicit or encouraged or simply an enabler. You are, whether you like it or not, responsible for your employee’s actions.

What does that mean?

If they do things that piss you off you, most likely, have pissed them off.

If they show you little respect, you, most likely, have shown them little respect.

If they show you lack of loyalty, you, most likely, have not earned their loyalty or shown behavior that deserves loyalty.

If you do not recognize anything I just wrote as truth, you, most likely, just threaten your employees every time they do something you don’t like.

Look.

I have absolutely talked to an individual employee about their expense reports.

I have absolutely spoken to an individual employee about their behavior in the office.

I have absolutely sat down with an individual employee about what they should, or should not, be saying to people outside the office.

But, more importantly, I talk with the accounting department, the HR department and department heads to find out about what the organization is systemically doing with their expense reports, behavior in the office and talking outside the office before I speak with any individual.

I don’t think I was a particularly great leader, but even I knew that systemic behavioral issues were my issues — not their issues. I also understand that threatening employees, or even the trite ‘carrot & stick’ thinking, was ineffective if you wanted to build a culture where individual employees didn’t cheat on their expense reports, didn’t do stupid shit in the office and didn’t say the wrong things about the company outside the office.

A leader knows threats are stupid if you have any desire to build a long term culture. You set expectations, provide a vision that people can be proud of and the reward is not anything individual monetarily or even ‘keeping your job’ but rather the employee looks around and sees solidarity – the prize is being part of a team aligned on an objective.

Some leaders don’t see that. All they see is bad behavior and offer threats to seal the cracks in the system. All that does is mask the problem not solve the problem. All that solves systemic organizational bad behavior is good leadership — not threats.

Fear, despite what some may suggest, is not a particularly great motivator in business.

=============

“Ideas pull the trigger, but instinct loads the gun.”

–

Don Marquis

===========

This quote is taken from Marquis’ “The Almost Perfect State” which was written in 1927 as a series of criticisms of the Progressive Era.

Ok. I imagine a lot of people read this quote and wonder if the quote would work better: “ideas load the gun, but instinct pulls the trigger.” But I believe that misses Don’s point <albeit I have not spoken with him on this topic … he died in 1937>.

The point? Knowledge and experience can only take you so far. Yeah. I just said that. I .. the one who has written that common sense is anything but common, our instincts typically suck and knowledge/experience is the most powerful weapon one can bring to a context battle.

That said. This is the difference between being solely analytical and incorporating the intangible <the instinctual>.

What he is suggesting is that all the bright thinking and big ideas in the world don’t mean shit if they cannot be brought into being by a person who can originate the intellectual movement of action. I will note here that most meaningful action is driven by cognitive engagement which is most typically an engagement with ‘thought’ (thinking or intellectual/brain engagement).

Anyway. This person requires a special character. Ah. Special character. This means ‘someone with good instincts.’ Many people may suggest this is the ability to adapt and bring to bear the needed resources & skills to match the contextual challenge/needs. I would suggest this ability is at its best when it combines knowledge & experience with instinct.

Now. Instinct is one of those things people hate. Because it is not tangible and it always assumes some level of risk.

It is research of one <which scares the shit out of people these days>.

That means:

Collaboration? Well. Nope.

Consensus? Geez. Nope.

Extrapolation through the hypotenuse of multiple data points discussed ad nausea and plotted on some nifty white board? Sounds like fun … but … nope.

Instinct is gut & feel. (albeit typically great instincts have been honed by experience and knowledge)

But in the end it is not tangible nor proven. It is, well, just what it is.

Sure. It can be cultivated. And it can even be honed. But I do not believe it can be taught.

Well. Let me take that back and try this. Good instincts cannot be taught. Good instinct is first and foremost an internal aptitude. We all have instincts, but some just have gooder instincts. Beyond that natural foundation it is probably a combination of experience and knowledge and ultimately a mindset.

I say a mindset because instinct is a feeling and not anything visible or tangible. You sense what to do and where to go and what to say.

And it often isn’t because your instincts are proven good … but just rather that you know what feels wrong.

“Every time I’ve done something that doesn’t feel right, it’s ended up not being right.”

Mario M. Cuomo

That said. I know one of the most frustrating things I have heard in business decision meetings is “I am not sure what the right thing to do is … but … what we are discussing doing sounds wrong.” And while frustrating … it also feels right.

We sometimes get so rushed to make a decision we grab one — anyone will do. And, yet, it feels wrong. Okay, maybe not wrong, just not right.

That is instinct.

Not only knowing the path to success, but also recognizing paths to failure & disappointment <before you even take one step on that path>.

Look. It is a true joy to be near someone with good, if not great, instincts. They seem to be in an effective zone and not in a comfort zone. What I mean is that they have a habit of disregarding distractions, discerning the important from the unimportant, and have a focus. That focus may not be the destination <it can be>, but oftentimes their instincts are reflective of the journey to the destination.

They have a humble confidence and sometimes are even slightly insecure <I imagine because their strength is in the intangible>. And they are rarely emotional in decision making.

Now. Conversely, it is absolutely miserable to be near someone who has crappy instincts <but thinks they have good instincts>. It is not only miserable because you end up going down lots of fruitless paths and waste a lot of energy, but also because instincts are intangible.

There are no numbers or research or facts that can counter instincts and intuition. Therefore someone in a leadership position who has crappy instincts is unmovable. They are literally an elephant in the room.

That is misery.

Regardless. Instinct is a natural aptitude. Kind of like a knack. An innate tendency or response to act in ways that, at its most base description, is essential to development, preservation or survival.

As Hayakawa (Use the Right Word) suggests:

“instinct implies innate disposition rather than having a talent. It is not a gift, nor a talent or even an aptitude. It is more an inborn intangible. It could be called a ‘Knack’ but that has almost always been associated with social rather than intellectual causes & situations.”

It is tough in today’s world for people with good instincts. While intellectual in its strength it is not proven with any reason. In an over thinking, over analyzing, over safe world, ‘without reason’ doesn’t often gain a place at the table.

Instinctual decision making often requires having people follow with some blind faith. And in a world of consensus and collaboration, well, that ain’t happening much these days.

—————

“And the nights, bigger than imagining: black and gusty and enormous, disordered and wild with stars.”

—–

Donna Tartt 

=============== 

“This is the way the world ends

Not with a bang but a whimper.”

―

T.S. Eliot

==========

Well. Despite the fact most nights remain the same amount of hours, minutes and seconds day to day, a sleepless night can often look bigger than imagined. I have found that sleepless nights are less about restless minds and more about capacity in a squeezed space.

Huh?

Let me tackle squeezed first.

In general the world is a pretty vast place and our lives can seem fairly inconsequential.

The good news about this is that within all that vastness there is a lot of room to let some of the more horrible or horribly mundane crap just slip by.

The bad news occurs when all of a sudden Life, and the world, shrinks and you feel squeezed. And this can happen a lot easier than one may think.

Ponder what I am going to say as “the big squeeze.”

Everyday everyone faces some naturally occurring ‘shrinking’ aspects which in and of themselves can’t shrink your Life enough to matter. Let’s just say this is the daily grind of work, chores and family & Life commitments. Some things go well and some things don’t.

And then, of course, there will be a day or two where the things that “don’t” significantly outnumber the things that “do.” because this is day to day shit I view this as getting squeezed from the sides. They kind of suffocate you a little.

But set that aside for a moment.

And then there will be some days where you have that ad hoc shit you have to plan to get done — the faucet is dripping, the car engine light is on, someone hit the mailbox, crap like that. 95% of the time this kind of shit never goes as planned. It takes too long or it doesn’t get done right the first time or … well … suffice it to say … the easy stuff never gets done as easily as you would want.

And then, of course, there will be a day or two where the things that never get done as easily as you want actually end up just not going right. This is stupid little shit … but maybe think about it as maybe getting squeezed from underneath – an unexpected aggravating shift on the ground below you.

But set that aside for a moment.

And then there will be some days where you turn on the TV or maybe scan the internet news breaks and … well … some shit has hit the fan. Your country has made some monumental decision that seems to shift its place in the world.

Some nutjob terrorist has committed some heinous act to innocent people.

Some “thing” happens that feel like a shift in the bedrock of ‘what is.’ It may not directly affect you but you sense that it is a monumental thing which will most likely affect you <even though you aren’t sure how yet>. This is big shit … this just makes you feel a little like the weight of the world has gotten a little heavier and the world as you have known it has become a little murkier. You are getting squeezed from above.

But set that aside for a moment.

Now. I will now get to capacity.

Let’s assume on one day all there of things happen … you get squeezed all on one day. Oddly, this becomes a test of your capacity <which implies largeness>. And, yes, maybe it is about largeness. As in how large you can remain as you get squeezed.

Some nights it isn’t easy to not get suffocated.

Other nights you find your capacity and push back a little.

Most nights you find just enough largeness to not get, well, too little.

But the nights in which all three aspects I outlined squeezed you I would suggest the word ‘forlorn’ comes to mind. 

====================

“Oft hope is born when all is forlorn.”

J.R.R. Tolkien

=============

I use forlorn because I associate it with capacity as I am discussing it today. Forlorn has a sense of shrinking to it in that the good in Life seems to shrink and that which is bad seems to grow and you are left with that wretched forlorn feeling which dogs you throughout a sleepless night. Forlorn seems like it is more appropriate than lonely or lonesome in that it specifically embraces a senses of wretchedness and desertion or abandonment … in my mind … ‘despairing of the arrival of a friend … in this case … a friend called Hope.”

To me all of what I just shared with regard to squeezing and capacity captures the essence of the worst of the worst sleepless nights. And, if I were a betting man, I would bet we have all had a few of these.

Ok. Here is what I know.

Most of us get through these nights. Despite the vast emptiness of a night, more vast than we imagined it should be, we cast about among the chaos of the stars and find some light. I like to think of it as we clamber through the clouds and exist.

===============

“I will clamber through the clouds and exist.”

John Keats

==============

And the outcome of most of these nights, in addition to being tired, is out of the gauntlet of forlornness we seem to come out with a degree of hope. Hope for a better day <at minimum> and maybe Hope for something better <at maximum>.

In other words, out of the bigness which seems to squeeze us, if but for a moment, we rummage through a sleepless night … one black and gusty and enormous, disordered and wild with stars … and come out a little less black, a little more calm, a little more ordered and a little more focused on some star.