——-

“I’ve noticed something about people who make a difference in the world: They hold the unshakable conviction that individuals are extremely important, that every life matters.

They get excited over one smile.

They are willing to feed one stomach, educate one mind, and treat one wound.

They aren’t determined to revolutionize the world all at once; they’re satisfied with small changes. Over time, though, the small changes add up.   Sometimes they even transform cities and nations, and yes, the world.” 

= 

Beth Clar

——

This is about responding.

First. What does RSVP mean? In the context of social invitations RSVP is a request for a response from the invited person or people. It is derived from the French phrase répondez s’il vous plaît, meaning ‘please respond’ <”respond if you please”>.

Sticking with the formal aspect of an RSVP … there are some guidelines. 

———

If RSVP is written on an invitation it means the invited guest must tell the host whether or not they plan to attend the party.  It does not mean to respond only if you’re coming, and it does not mean respond only if you’re not coming (the expression “regrets only” is reserved for that instance).   It means the host needs to know who is going to attend, get a definite head count, the planned event … and needs it by the date specified on the invitation.

———–

Second. RSVP also has to do with Life, not just parties.

Think about it. Life, in many ways, says ‘please respond.’ My fear, and belief, is that many of us simply haven’t read the rules of etiquette and do not respond.

Look. I often write about how Life is difficult and how Life is tricky and how Life has a warped sense of humor.

But. Life can also be quite respectful and act with true etiquette and grace. I don’t mean big pomp and circumstance moments, but little moments in which doing the little things well matters. Uhm. Like an rsvp for example.

—–

“When you do something noble and beautiful and nobody notices, do not be sad. For the sun every morning is a beautiful spectacle and yet most of the audience still sleeps.”

John Lennon

—–

I sometimes worry people no longer understand what RSVP means. In social event scenarios as well as Life.

Assuming the best, and that the reason guests don’t RSVP to an invitation is a case of ignorance, not rudeness, let me suggest this.

People have a tendency to not respond because … well … it is safer.

Less chance of conflict. And it may seem like the easiest path but think about it from this quote’s perspective.

—–

“Every time we choose safety, we reinforce fear.”

Cheri Huber

—

Sure. I could simply believe most people don’t get involved with Life because they are too busy.

Or they are ignorant of the fact their absence is not noted or meaningful.

But I can’t. I can’t because I don’t believe it is true.

I think we do it, subconsciously or consciously, because it is safer — we get to avoid possible conflict.

Oh. The risk in doing this over & over & over? We become disengaged with Life.

But. Here is the good news. Life will keep sending you invitations. Over & over & over again.

You just gotta RSVP every once in a while.

To be clear. You are not always being invited to a ‘big party.’ Sometimes the RSVP is just for something small.

Saying that permits me to circle back to where I began … willing to feed one stomach, educate one mind, and treat one wound.  They aren’t determined to revolutionize the world all at once; they’re satisfied with small changes.

Over time, though, the small changes add up.

That’s why you RSVP to life.

Small changes add up.

Small moments add up.

Small gestures add up.

It is true that Life, in general, is indifferent to you and what you want. However. What Life does do is create event after event which you DO get invited to. That means its up to you to respond. And, yeah, I do believe RSVPing matters even in this scenario. Just showing up is good but not as good as telling Life you are gonna show up. Why? Because it increases the odds Life may actually NOT be indifferent when you show up.

My advice? Just make sure you RSVP to Life one response at a time.

===============

“You cannot live without establishing an equilibrium between the inner and outer.”

—–

Paul Auster

=========

“I used to think of you that way, you know. Like the sun. My own personal sun. You balanced out the clouds nicely for me.”

He sighed.

“The clouds I can handle. But I can’t fight with an eclipse.”

–

Jacob

=======

“The idea that talent is directly proportional to your trophy cabinet is one I oppose.”

—-

Alex Turner

==================

Ok. I have been extremely consistent over the years with regard to my belief that I think balance is the key to almost any successful endeavor – in life & in business.

Suffice it to say I am a big balance person. And, yet, the other day during a business discussion it occurred to me that I may not be using the right word or even have the concept correct.

I may actually be a ‘proportional’ advocate.

Let me explain. Business, more often than not, is about assessing the correct proportional value of a topic, fact or idea and assigning the correct proportional response to that value.

Sure. That may inevitably arrive at something we could call “a balanced response”, but to get to the so-called balance we need to think about proportions.

I imagine, in my head, this means we need to stop viewing things as a zero sum balance, but rather as proportional to the situation in hand.

Now. I did some research and back in 1975 a guy named Piaget described the essential characteristic of proportional reasoning as it must involve a “relationship between two relationships.” I am not really sure what that means, but I am guessing it means that proportional assumes some dimensional aspects while balance is simply a relationship between two more concrete/discrete things.

He also suggested that proportional involves something called “additive reasoning” which, to me, explained my misrepresentation of balance.

Balance suggests an either/or trade off — something like teetering on a balance beam.

Proportional suggests a more spatial trade off or, maybe, ratio based trade off. What I mean by that is I can add one thing as part of a compromise and its true value is a zillion and give up one thing as part of the same compromise and its true value is 1/10^th of a zillion (despite the fact their actual costs may be different).

I balanced my response, but gained a proportional advantage.

There is even something called ‘the constant of proportionality’, but that becomes too complicated for my pea like brain so I will let you google it and see if you can explain it.

I imagine my real point is that most of us, most likely, are proportional thinkers and not balance thinkers <although we say we are balanced>.

More often than not we invariably assess things through assimilation and the synthesis of multiple things <numbers, ratios, tangible, intangible, and … yes … even missing information & components>. Our decisions are a messy mix of analyzing a series of unequal and equal things shaping them into the proper proportions to make a, well, proportional response. This can all make sense but it doesn’t really make it any easier for us. its not easier because balance is easier to assess and judge, balance is almost always associated with ‘fair’ while proportional often looks like something won & something lost and balance gets confused with linear zero sum game decision making.

All that said. Here was the bigger epiphany to me on why we should explore the more difficult pat of proportional thinking.

While balanced may seem like a simple improper term the truth is the more one focuses on balance the higher the likelihood I would actually end up doing the wrong things.

Huh? If you focus on balance you will inevitably try and force equality in all things. That may sound good, but it ain’t really reality. Simplistically it means you are focused on the wrong outcome & objective.

Instead, if you focus on the best proportional response to every situation, you may not end up with a one-to-one balanced relationship on any one comparison you review <which creates issues in its own right>, but you will end up with a balanced relationship on any given series of comparisons.

That last paragraph may actually showcase why most people focus on balance. In a simplistic measurement business world we are almost always demanded to show one-to-one or linear explanations.

Balance does that.

Proportion does not.

This means to embrace being proportional means you will have to accept the burden of explaining the more difficult to explain, to showcase asymmetrical as actually being simple and dimensional can actually reflect symmetry. Nothing in what I just shared in that last paragraph is easy. Particularly in today’s business world.

============

“Divide the target in proportion to the available resources”
―

Sunday Adelaja

==========

All I really know is that, whether I like it or not, I am actually a proportion person and not a balance person. It only took me over 25 years in business to figure that out <no one has ever suggested I am a quick learner>.

Think about it. You may actually be a proportional person too. More importantly, maybe you should be.

============

“Whenever you take an action, decide by both your brain and heart in equal proportions. Balance them as far as possible.”
―

Bikash Bhandari

============

———

“Maybe who we are isn’t so much about what we do, but rather what we’re capable of when we least expect it.”

Jodi Picoult

———-

“After all, our lives are but a sequence of accidents – a clanking chain of chance events. A string of choices, casual or deliberate, which add up to that one big calamity we call life.”

Rohinton Mistry

———-

So, I tend to believe we measure ourselves by what we expect of ourselves when … well … we have expectations of ourselves.

But.

If this big ‘calamity we call Life’ is simply a sequence of accidents … a chain of chance events … maybe we should be measuring ourselves by what we are capable of when we least expect it.

I feel confident suggesting this because most of us are capable of a shitload.

Yet. Most of us give ourselves a shitload of criticism for not meeting expectations when we expect to do something.

Yet. Most of life is a shitload of unexpected things.

It would be nice if Life acted upon the same principle as the programming technology industry: the principle of least astonishment. In other words, if some key technology feature has a high astonishment factor <the surprise factor> they immediately conclude it may be necessary to redesign the feature. The design should match the user’s experience, expectations, and mental models <in other words … surprises are bad>.

Well. Unfortunately Life doesn’t work that way.

And neither do we. Life astonishes us on a fairly consistent basis and we astonish ourselves on a far equal amount of the time.
Least expected typically refers to something that is the least likely <or most unlikely> to happen. And yet what we do, what we are capable of, in these least expected moments are actually the least unexpected. Because least unexpected refers to something that is the least unlikely <or most likely> to happen and, yet, it is incredibly likely we are more than capable.

In our heads, and often in our words, unlikely or unexpected get jumbled up with least likely and least expected and in all the jumbledness the result ends up as, well, actually the least unexpected.

<don’t worry … my head started getting confused & hurting when I wrote that>

I would suggest that what we are capable of when we least expect it is typically pretty frickin’ amazing.

In the unplanned calamity of Life we make choices … and in a least unexpected way we do pretty fucking well. Remember this:

———

“Adventures do occur, but not punctually.”

E.M. Forster

———

Life is not punctual. Nor is Life planned ahead of time.

Life is often one big calamity. The only thing we can expect of Life is the unexpected.

The least unexpected thing? What we are capable of.  Who we are is not just defined by what we do <in general>, but rather what we do in the unexpected calamity of Life. The choices we make in the unexpected chain of moments that make up most of Life. To paraphrase Chekov:

Any idiot can ‘do’ in the expected moments.

The measure of a person is truly found in what you do in the unexpected moments.

<note: when originally posted September 2017 this began with “Trump is exhausting”, I am reposting because nothing has changed>

======================

“For in every adult there dwells the child that was, and in every child there lies the adult that will be.”

=

John Connolly

===========

“Refusing to grow up may be a form of rebellion. But really growing up could be a revolution.”

—

Susan Neiman

==================

Trump is exhausting. Not his presidency, not his administration, not his lack of policies or lack of any intellectual thought … just Trump.

Trump is exhausting.

I have decided he is exhausting because while I have continuously woken up every day hoping that today would be the day he would actually act like a president … okay … maybe just like a business leader … okay … I actually just want to wake up and see him act like an grownup.

Today, just another day, he wakes up and starts tweeting about London terrorism <which the UK prime minister and Scotland Yard have to respond “not very helpful”>, about an ESPN anchor, about his stupid wall, about … well … too numerous to count. And it isn’t just his lack-of-any-real-thought 140 character tweeting it is also his tween tone, teen sensitivity and teen words/grammar/punctuation.

He is not even the junior class president, he is just the gossip girl between classes.

Think about it.

Everything is unfair.

He is sad.

Girls confuse him.

I told you so.

I wish everyone would pay attention to me.

I am misunderstood.

Create drama <to Armageddon-like levels when possible>.

<sigh>

You would think I would have been smart enough to know that this is the new normal for us, but the same normal for Donald J Trump. I mean, what the hell, I wrote ‘teens celebrate Trump as new leader (’cause he is just like us)’ in March 2016 <yeah, 18 months ago, seems like a lifetime in Trump squirrel years>:

—————

And then, after my first response, I laughed. I laughed because I sudden realized that every teen in America must be celebrating in the halls of their high school.

Trump is one of them.

<and imagine the kitchen table conversations now taking place where parents are counseling their children only to hear “you are being so unfair !!! … I was just retweeting what was on the internet … c’mon Mom … Donald Trump does it … you are being unfair …!!!”> 

Look.

Sit around a bunch of older folk and pretty soon the conversation will ease its way into how the younger generation is addicted to their phones, they cannot think for themselves, twitter is the universe of the mindless illiterate generation, twitter is the death of grammar & punctuation and they believe everything they see on the internet. Suffice it to say, older folk have a tendency to believe handheld technology is destroying young people’s minds <the implication is that ‘sensible grownups would never do the things that immature, selfish, entitled young people would do.’

<please note … I do not agree and that when I am involved in this discussion it is typically around that lat comment that my head explodes>

Anyway. Trump is what older folk actually fear & believe. Trump embodies teen twitterology. He cannot stop retweeting and cannot stop from commenting on anything and he tweets before thinking … and retweets anything that comes across his phone that looks interesting to retweet <regardless of whether he has actually checked that it is real or not> .

He can summarize his policies, with detail, in maybe 2 tweets issued as he sips his coffee in the morning.

After the coffee kicks in it will take about 6 tweets to change the previous 2.

And later in the day he gets to go on air and discuss how the world is unfair <only to him>.

This is Trump’s doom loop of consistent inconsistencies whereby the next tweet update absolves responsibility for the less than thoughtful tweets up to that point. And, of course, it would be unfair to judge him on his 25^th tweet when he is already on his 1250^th tweet.

Wow.

Dear Donald, have you thought about enrolling in high school again so you can troll the hallways as a bully and be the most important boy in the sophomore class? His immaturity almost makes teens look mature in contrast.

————————

Trump’s tweening behavior is tiring.

Exhausting.

I just want him to act like a grownup.

That’s it.

Yeah.

The bar is that low. Is that too much to ask?

I ask this because I know that being a grownup & “grownuphood” <a little different than adulthood> is all about becoming someone and something and unbecoming someone and something.

The truth about growing up is that we are constantly developing and un-developing and we continue to survive the missteps and step backs and figure out where & how to excel with momentary glimpses of what ‘could be’ … and that is what grownuphood is all about. And that is the ‘growing up’ I fear Donald J Trump is not doing <nor has ever done>.

If I could talk to Donald J <most likely using lots of pictures> I would tell him that grownuphood is much much better than okay. It is really good. It is much better because while some call it the burden of responsibility I call it “the freedom to enable my destiny.”

Yeah. Destiny kind of demands some grownupness <sorry about that Donald J>.

But the prize of grownuphood? You do with your destiny what you want. You can  get angry if it doesn’t happen the way you want, but suffice it to say grownuphood is great because it is YOUR time to make it happen.

And I wish grownups would reclaim grownuphood and let the youth have their youth.

And I wish Trump would claim some grownuphood and let the youth have their youth.

But … this is Trumpville.

A place where little makes sense.

That is where we seem to live today.

Look.

He can be an idiot if he wants.

He can be incompetent <because he is>.

He can be an empty intellectual vessel <he is>.

But for god’s sake … just please start acting like a grown up.

==============

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.”

—-

W.B. Yeats

==============

This is about business, milestones and magic (which could be ‘company/brand value’.

Day in and day out we get shit done and are told to do more shit. That would imply that many days are just full of shit. While that sounds harsh I imagine many people think only a slightly less harsh version of this about day to day life. But, even slightly less harsh, it has a tendency to dull our senses and miss out on the magic. Business, in particular, has an odd way of addressing this lack of magic.

What do they do? They create lines in the sand.

Uhm. They may be arbitrary lines in the sand but they are lines nonetheless.

In the business world they are milestones and, oddly enough, calendar and fiscal years. Milestones are easy enough to explain, but the yearly line in the sand stuff is slightly harder to explain.

Why? 99.9% of your employees know that business doesn’t stop at the end of a fiscal year. In fact. We spend gobs of energy talking about ‘setting the stage for the following year’ before we ever reach our arbitrary line in the sand <end of the year>.

While I fully understand that some construct and some order is useful it seems like we would be better served to encourage everyone to think of a business more like a long Life and not by birthdays.

Yeah. This creates some management challenges and some organizational challenges and it certainly doesn’t mesh very well with the artificial measurements demanded by the financial world <quarterly and annual reports>, but if you could figure it out it would permit the business to match the natural ebb & flow of a category, industry and challenges & opportunities – regardless of when they came and went.

But even more importantly if you could figure it out I tend to believe it would make day to day a little less like ‘days of ongoing shit to do’ and more about energy invested, or energy conserved, to meet the needs and challenges of the business.

I tend to believe there would be less artificial and arbitrary shit and more ‘meet the needs of what is going on.’ I say that because, while not all lines are really lines, most employees start thinking if they can just hold on and survive whatever line they are being asked to cross that lines in the sand eventually disappear <and someone else will most likely draw another stupid fucking line in the sand>.

=====================

It’s just a simple line

I can still hear it all of the time

If I can just hold on tonight

I’ll know that nothing

Nothing survives

Azure Ray <Displaced>

=================

I say all of that because I could, and would, argue that creating arbitrary lines in the sand does not make our senses grow sharper in the way that needs to happen to see the world’s magical things.

Yeah. Lines in the sand certainly tend to sharpen focus.  No argument here. But that same focus prohibits … well … magic. By that I mean is that your senses have to naturally sharpen in order to access the world of magic. You cannot force the sense with some arbitrary lines in the sand but rather it takes patience.

Now.

The pragmatic & practical ones out there, particularly the business ones, are gonna say “who gives a fuck about the magic things in the world … I have a business to run.”

Fair enough.

But I would say to them that successful businesses more often than not are <a> more than just process, doing & treating people like gears in a machine and <b> of some value derived beyond simply ‘getting shit done well.’

Let me try it this way. Wall Street assesses value on companies all the time. and while there is certainly tangible value most of the time we sit back and scan some intangible value they have bolted on to some company and, well, we assume it is real in some way because, WTF, Wall Street has put some value on it.

That’s the magic part.

Yeah. Some pseudo intellectual will puff out their chest and say “that is the brand value” … yeah … well … just stuff it, you asshat. It’s the magic the company has figured out how to bring out in the company idea and employees. It is the intangible, the greater good created as senses sharpened, which great organizations seem to figure out how to bring out. There is no book to tell you how to do it and there is no management guru who can come in and give you the ‘how to guide’ which can teach you the patience wherein the senses grow sharper to access the magic in the world.

Sorry to tell you that.

This isn’t like boiling an egg or even cracking an egg for that part this is the intangible part of business where some get it and some doing, but you cannot teach it.

That said. This may be one of the few times in business where the attempt matters. Some of the things I offered today are out of the comfort zone for a shitload of business people <the whole focusing on long Life rather than arbitrary milestones management>.  But. I would argue whether you ‘get’ being patient & encouraging the senses to grow sharper to access the world’s magic, or not, if you even attempt to encourage some intangible aspects in your business you are better off than not even trying.

Sincere attempts are appreciated and there is value in that alone. And if you are actually good at it and you just haven’t had the opportunity to do it <because the general business world is not really conducive to this type of thinking> … well … magic is magical.

I can honestly say that once you have overcome your natural tendencies to not be patient and once you have actually encountered the world’s magic released in your business you will never go back.

Shit.

You can’t.

Why not?

Once senses are sharpened they cannot be dulled and, in a world which has a nasty tendency to dull our senses, that may be the best argument for embracing the idea that magic does exist in the world and that is is worth the effort to try and find it.

In the end. Maybe we need less lines in the sand and more magic.

=========

“Your opportunity is going to come whenever it comes.

You have to take advantage of it when it does.”

—

Mike Darnold

============

    “But, my dear, how long will you wait for something that will never come?”

—

(via saudi-barbie)

=====

So. Opportunities. ok. Opportunities and blinking.

Yeah. What happens if you blink at the wrong time in Life?

Well. Life, in general, doesn’t permit blinking. Okay. It is relentlessly unforgiving if you blink at the wrong time.

Simplistically, Life happens … even if you are not paying attention. Shit. Life happens even if you ARE paying attention and you blink.

Sigh.

Sadly … far too often we blink at just the wrong moment.

Sometimes it is because we … well … just have other shit to do.

Sometimes it is because we … well … we are just a dumbass

Sometimes it is because … well … that is just reality <sometimes>.

And, sometimes, well, it doesn’t really matter.

Doesn’t matter? Opportunities are like pebbles. If you throw a pebble into a pond, you have no way of predicting exact way the ripples will ripple <unless you are some mathematics professor at Harvard where you could probably extrapolate it … uhm … but the window of opportunity would most likely close anyway before you figured it out>. Ripples depend on how you drop, or throw, or skip the pebble. Shit. Ripples depend on if some other asshole drops a pebble, stone or clod of mud in the frickin’ pond.

=====

“How can I begin anything new with all of yesterday in me?”

Leonard Cohen

======

That said.

Not all blinks are created equal. Some blinks are … well … blinks. You just cannot keep your eyes open all the time.

And then there are hesitation blinks. The ones created by the ‘all of yesterday in me.’ Sometimes we blink because the present is a pretty cluttered moment for everyone. Maximizing your present, the “now”, is hard. Fucking hard. Anyone who suggests it is easy or ‘you should try and do it more’ is fucking crazy.

All that clutter can make us blink. And sometimes, yes, it makes us blink at exactly the wrong time.

Wrong time? Not only is ‘the present’ small, but windows of opportunity within ‘the present’ can open and close pretty fucking fast. And all of that just gets even smaller when squeezed by past and future.

Then you start trying to cram in all the tangible shit you need to do <as well as the things you don’t really need to do but have convinced yourself it is ‘need’>.

Holy shit. Then. Yeah. You blink. Shit. The ‘present’ has completely disappeared.

While it makes my head hurt just typing this there is a reason I bring it up.

While I have written ad nausea about managing time in general and how we focus on the wrong shit <spending more time making lists than actually doing shit> I would suggest that if you want to manage your time more effectively you need to get your head out of the ‘past & future’ head game the best you can.

If you do that effectively than you have effectively maximized your present time the best you can.

In blinking terms this means you have narrowed your blinks to natural blinking versus hesitation blinking. This type of decision on your part really can make a difference. Moments, ‘things’, feelings, opportunities, the possibilities die fast – like in the blink of an eye. In a blink of an eye what was possible simply disappears and is no longer possible.

===

“In the blink of an eye, what was possible is possible no longer.”

Nelika McDonald

===

You blink and what was possible is no longer even in view.

You blink and all the plans you had mapped out get crumpled up.

Blinking insures you either grasp the concept of adaptability or you will inevitably grasp only disappointment an discouragement.

Yeah. It’s nice to have plans, and even recommended in most situations, but when a plan doesn’t happen, you have to be able to think on your feet, and change courses if necessary. Life doesn’t always cooperate with what you wanted to do, so you have to be prepared. We all know that if you aren’t paying attention to your own life, you are gonna miss some important things. Life does what it does whether you want it to or not.

Regardless. It can seem fairly overwhelming if you dwell on a belief that every minute that passes is a minute that you will never get back or every opportunity you miss is an opportunity you will never get back.

==========

“We don’t always get the luxury of having closure.

Sometimes things just end. There’s not always a rhyme or reason for why they do, they just do.”

Ashleigh Catibog-Abraham

==========

But that means you have to find some peace in blinking.

You need to find some peace in the fact that some opportunities are just missed.

You need to find peace in those the moments where you had got it right for yourself and not for anyone else <even if you did blink>.

Life is complex as it is.

Far too often we speak of opportunities in some simplistic fashion … and mostly from an individualistic point of view. Therein lies the foundation of opportunities & complexity.

We live in a world of collaboration and anything but individual decision making.

Simplicity is being demanded by the whole and implemented by the parts. And aligning attitudes and desires is difficult. And so is insuring aligning in strengths in today’s idealistic view of collaboration.

Maybe that is where simplicity faces its most difficult contradiction – facing the conflict in aligning making bigness small <in vision for the whole> and capturing the importance, and bigness, of the small.

===============

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”

Steve Maraboli

=====

Huh? Well.

Simplistically <which is dangerous on this topic> opportunities truly are like windows. They open and close. When defined that simply it is nice and tight and makes something big smaller and more easily grasped. But these less-than-simple windows are actually representative of something that looks more like a bow tie or an hourglass on its side.

Lots of complex things and thoughts funneling into this nice tight little window and should you step through the window of opportunity … well … the vista of what could be, can be and will be widens to some pretty extraordinarily complex aspects.

In the end.

Maybe that is my bigger point about blinking and opportunities.

That window is always there.

That window opens and closes all the time.

That complex experience and stuff is always happening.

That complex vista beyond the window is always there and changing.

Oh.

Whether you blink or not.

Control what you can.

Accept what you cannot control.

Don’t blink because of hesitation.

And accept that, well, you have to blink sometime and you will miss something when you do.

===========

“Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.”

—-

Arthur Somers Roche

===================== 

“Its not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it”.

—-

Hans Selye

========================

This is about anxiety and the bubbles we work & live within.

I have always recognized I live in a certain type of bubble.

For much of my career I have earned more than the average person.

For much of my career I walked the hallways of advertising and consulting companies who tend to focus more on “what’s next” and trends and adopting new ideas & thinking.

For much of my career I have traveled to parts of the world and worked with people who flew thousands of miles a year.

For much of my career I have wandered along the brink of the leading edge, or bleeding edge, of businesses and business thinking.

On the other hand.

I went to a public high school at a rural ‘farmer family student’ school.

My first job was in a small South Carolina city.

I have driven across America three times.

And I have worked in the Midwest heartland, Texas, blue collar part of Florida, the south and visited manufacturing plants in almost every state in the United States.

Maybe because of this odd mix I am an early adopter of ideas & new thoughts & thinking and a late adopter of actually doing those things.

I think that shifts my stress and anxiety toward the actually doing and permits me to be anxiety free with regard to the actual encouragement of change.

Look.

I still outsource my presentations.

I still outsource my website management.

I still haven’t mastered my smartphone and I grudgingly add apps to my phone.

Yet, I still enthusiastically present ideas on new trends, changes in cultural behavior, reform of institutions,  embracing new technology and, in general, disruptive ideas to status quo type thinking.

That said.

I know I live in a certain type of bubble.

What I mean by that is I just read a really nice interview with Elaine Chao who runs the Department of Transportation in America which explained my bubble probably better than I have ever done myself.

==========

“I thought that he <Trump> had tapped into something, a strain of anxiety, of fear, of vulnerability that somehow nobody else did.”

Elaine Chao

==========

She thinks that anxiety may have less to do with the economic impact of trade than about the crush of new technologies, adding that Silicon Valley has a responsibility to try to ameliorate those qualms.

Well. How insightful is that?

In my bubble there is no crush of new technologies, or ideas, it is more about the excitement of sifting through “what’s next” attempting to discern the meaningless from the meaningful.

But she is correct. This onslaught of new technology and new ideas happens in a bubble. And outside that bubble a lot of people feel alienated and marginalized and unconnected not because of money or culture … but rather by change and ‘newness.’

We, in this bubble of mine, get confused by this because this same group ,of marginalized and alienated people, have embraced the fringes of this technology surge – the smartphones, the apps and the social communities. All of those aspects thrive outside the bubble therefore we confuse it with a hunger for more new stuff and thinking and behavioral shifts.

Chao said something as a message to the tech industry, but it is actually more relevant to my bubble: “You take it as second nature, but for much of what you do, people do not understand.” This thought, in particularly, resonates with me because I invest a lot of energy trying to explain to my peers we need to become significantly better at explaining “automation replacing jobs, new skills for the future, digital world, etc.” in ways the everyday person can grasp what it means to them (other than losing something).

I am not naïve enough, nor egotistical enough, to believe my bubble is the most important thing in the world. But I do believe my bubble has the greater interests of society and progress embedded within its sometimes wacky machinery of ideation and practical outcomes.

Recognizing my bubble matters.

Recognizing my bubble matters because it is in my interest, and in the interest of new ideas and progress, to help those outside my bubble better understand where we are going with these ideas and why these ideas matter … and why these ideas are actually in their best interests.

I vividly remember presenting something to the CEO of a multi-national company years ago and the CEO leaning forward at the end and saying “Bruce, I like the idea, I appreciate the idea, but I am not sure I want to be on the bleeding edge.”

Well. How stupid am I to not think if a CEO of a national company would think & say that … that … well … a significant portion of America wouldn’t think and say exactly the same thing? <answer: pretty stupid>

Progress is good. And people, in general, love progress. But progress and some ideas my bubble generates can make people anxious. It doesn’t mean anyone is stupid, or slow, or backwards, or ignorant, or anything negative — they are simply anxious.

And when I read what she said it reminded me of a quote I had stored away:

===========

“If you gathered up all the fearful thoughts that exist in the mind of the average person, looked at them objectively, and tried to decide just how much good they provided that person, you would see that not some but all fearful thoughts are useless.

They do no good. Zero. They interfere with dreams, hopes, desire and progress.”

Richard Carlson

================

An anxious population can get angry. They can get angry because anxiety interferes with dreams, hopes, desire and progress.

Well. I think more people in my bubble need to remember this. And, maybe more importantly, more people in my bubble need to take steps to acknowledge this and try and do something about this.

Ideas really just do not happen just because they are good ideas. To move an idea from inside the bubble to outside the bubble takes some hard work, some sharp thinking, some good articulation and a shitload of persistency.

To be clear on this bubble thing.

Not all bubbles are some generalized 100% thing.

Just because you may live in a city doesn’t mean you cannot understand rural poverty <because you can have your own poverty>.

Just because you have earned money doesn’t mean you cannot understand having no money <because “having earned” can quickly become “not earning”>.

But the bubble of ideas and thinking and innovation? That is as real as it can get. It’s not just about money or access … it is more about relatability and relevance to one’s life.

Standing in the hallways of some advertising agency discussing some new idea, or in some tech company, it is difficult to believe everyone wouldn’t understand that is something everyone should want … and to want to get “there” <wherever there is>.

===========

Stress is caused by being ‘here’ but wanting to be ‘there.’

Eckhart Tolle

============

Yeah. I live in a bubble.

And it is good to be reminded that my bubble, which can look awesome standing inside it, can create a shitload of angst and anxiousness and anxiety to those outside the bubble because inevitably they know I am gonna try and get them to do some of the things I think everyone should want to do <to get “there”> as part of natural progress. In other words, I create anxiety. That is a thought a lot of people in my bubble should think about.

==============================

“Anyway, I wanted to end this on a hopeful, positive note, but, seeing as how my sense of hope and positivity is still shrouded in a thick layer of feeling like hope and positivity are bullshit.

I’ll just say this: Nobody can guarantee that it’s going to be okay, but — and I don’t know if this will be comforting to anyone else — the possibility exists that there’s a piece of corn on a floor somewhere that will make you just as confused about why you are laughing as you have ever been about why you are depressed.

And even if everything still seems like hopeless bullshit, maybe it’s just pointless bullshit or weird bullshit or possibly not even bullshit.

I don’t know.

But when you’re concerned that the miserable, boring wasteland in front of you might stretch all the way into forever, not knowing feels strangely hope-like.”

—-

Allie Brosh

==================

“Like most misery, it started with apparent happiness.”

―

Markus Zusak

======================

“But my experiences slowly flattened and blended together until it became obvious that there’s a huge difference between not giving a fuck and not being able to give a fuck.

Cognitively, you might know that different things are happening to you, but they don’t feel very different.”

Allie Brosh

==================

 I do not suffer from depression. Therefore it is extremely difficult for me to put myself in the shoes of someone who does.

However.

In reading some of the words written by people about depression <like the ones above> aspects of it sounds an awful lot like people who do not suffer from depression, but do suffer from a lack of enjoyment with Life in general.

Suffering from a lack of enjoyment in Life? Wow. Isn’t enjoyment as natural as breathing?

Well. Maybe … but sometimes we forget to breathe.

Regardless. When you stop enjoying things in Life <which, by the way, suggests you used to enjoy things or something and are now easing into some wasteland of maybe not misery but … well … nothingness>, or ‘anything’ I imagine, then you start seeking enjoyment anywhere you can. In fact to find some enjoyment in this wasteland we become pretty creative in some fairly absurd ways.

We sift thru the sand of the wasteland and embrace some shiny grains and try to make them bigger than they are in the attempt to suggest ‘wow … there is enjoyment.’ It is our brave attempt to breathe some Life into our enjoyment.
Unfortunately, if we viewed that little thing without those absurd rose colored glasses, it could be truly look like … well … nothing.

Now.

Lack of enjoyment in Life is nothing like lack of enjoyment in an experience. An experience has the luxury of finiteness.  The clear beginning and end permits us to assess and enjoy with some reflection. On the other hand, Life can very easily take on the characteristics of infinite. Life can become an endless array of to-do’s, tasks, work assignments, responsibilities and whatever else pops up in the everyday life of what happens.

This gets compounded by the additional random unforeseen stuff that inevitably gets layered on top of what you expected and planned for.

To be clear. I am not talking about depression. And I am not talking about something called ‘anhedonia’ which is one of the main symptoms of major depressive disorder <it is the loss of interest in previously rewarding or enjoyable activities … people suffering from clinical depression lose interest in hobbies, friends, work–even food and sex>. I am also not talking about actual boredom or a even some sense of frustration, irritation or despair <often associated with depression> with Life.

I tend to believe I am just talking about numbness. Or maybe it’s a version of not being able to notice the forest for the trees. But what I do know is that you just don’t know if Life is simply an amalgamation of hopeless bullshit, maybe it’s just pointless bullshit or weird bullshit or possibly not even bullshit.

All you really know is that you aren’t really enjoying the wasteland of ongoing ‘same ole same ole.’ It isn’t really like you have no hope that it will get better or that you have no hope at all — it just seems empty of hope at the moment and is just not a hopeful existence.

Well. If you reread that last sentence, like I just did, it is difficult to find where enjoyment enters into that person’s life. And, yet, we all pretty much know that happiness, and enjoyment, exists in 99% of people’s lives. My proof? As I noted earlier … even if you aren’t enjoying Life you scrounge around in some minuscule moments & experiences and raise them up high as enjoyment.

But enjoyment really shouldn’t be that hard.

Life, while hard, gives us a shitload of opportunities for enjoyment.

Unfortunately, the brain is complicated when it comes to enjoyment.

Shit.

The brain is complicated in general. But when it comes to pleasure & enjoyment the brain incorporates two paths – the nucleus accumbens <deep inside the “primitive brain”> and the prefrontal cortex <the thin outer layer of the brain behind the forehead>. Studies suggest it is likely that nerve impulses, let’s call them the ‘feel good signals,’ travel in both directions to stimulate a sense of enjoyment, reward and motivation. Studies also show that the longer the brain sustains the signals the stronger the enjoyment.

I share that because I think some people just get so numb in their rush from one thing to the next and the grind of day to day life that they don’t even let the ‘feel good signals’ have a chance to kick in within the brain.

What a shame.

It’s a shame because this is not depression it is simply lack of awareness and a lack of effort, with some good reasons for the ‘lack’, to see what is really going on around you and in your Life.

Enjoyment  is available to everyone if you just look hard enough. It is certainly within you. Within your heart and within your brain. You just have to be open to it as well as … open up to it.

And if you do? Everything in the world opens up to the possibility of enjoyment. Everything in the world is full, more full than you may think, to the possibility of enjoyment.

And the best?

It means you no longer desperately grasp needlessly for enjoyment.

I am certainly not suggesting that happiness or enjoyment is, or should be, our purpose in Life. I tend to believe the highest order of enjoyment comes when attached to a Life served usefully.

Regardless. Everyone deserves to enjoy Life.

Enjoyment is as natural to us as breathing.

But.

Well.

Maybe sometimes you need to remember to breathe.

=====================

originally posted September 2016

==============

” I stopped searching for Superman

in phone booths

once I realized

real heroes don’t need

a cape to save someone.”

–

Y.Z

=====================

“But if these years have taught me anything it is this: you can never run away.

Not ever.  The only way out, is in.”

–

Junot Diaz

===================

Ok.

I don’t know the specific number, but my guess is about 85 to 90% of people know that the best place to look for a hero is within <even though they may not articulate it that way>.

We know that most times no one is going to suddenly appear in the time of need and that we better think of the way out all by our little lonesome self and our own pea like brain.

We know that the best way out of almost any problem in Life is to seek the answer from within … not with out.

And, yes, there are most likely 10 to 15% of the people who are fucked whenever there is a problem because they are always looking for someone to get them out of whatever problem they have found themselves in.

That said. Even those of us who know you can never really run away and that you have to face whatever it is you have to face like to have a “superman” <or superwoman  … okay … a superperson> show up on occasion.

Let’s just admit it.

Sometimes we need some help. Not all the time .. just sometimes. And, most of us will admit, we don’t actually need the help on the toughest most difficult moment, per se, but rather the toughest most difficult personal moments.

What I mean by that is 99% of us can survive almost any challenge – no matter the depth & breadth of the challenge – if we are refreshed, fresh & focused. The problems occur when, well, we are not refreshed, fresh or focused. I call these the moments in which we are not the best version of our “meet the challenge” self.

It’s not that you aren’t capable of meeting the challenge. Shit. It doesn’t mean you are shirking the challenge itself. Nor are you even being lazy or self-deprecating or anything other than … ‘not at the best I need to be to meet this particular challenge.’ Those are the moments you sort of look around for a superperson to appear. You not only start peeking inside phone booths but you start poking around everywhere looking for some fucking super person to put on some cape and step up and help out.

And maybe that is the point of the first quote/poem I share upfront. Most superpeople don’t wear capes nor do they have snazzy outfit with a big “S” on the chest, but rather they tend to be some less-than-imposing looking guy or gal who just has their shit together – and they just happen to be there at the right time.

And maybe that is the point of the second quote I share upfront. You rarely find these superpeople if you are running away. This happens for a variety of reasons, but I would suggest this happens mainly because in your haste to get away from whatever problem you are running away from all the while thinking a semi-desparate desire for some help <and some superperson>, you are actually kind of just casting about wildly for someone with a big fucking “S” on their chest. Uh oh. This means you are most likely running by a shitload of less-than-imposing superpeople who would do you right if you would stop and let them help. My point? Therefore, if you do not run away, do not look for a way out … well … 90+% of the time someone will step in and help.

By the way … I am pretty confident saying this.

Why?

Well. Superpeople like people who do not run away.

Superpeople gravitate to people who don’t look for a way out, don’t look for someone or something to blame and don’t look to find someone to take responsibility for the challenge ahead.

Superpeople can sense character like a bee senses honey.

Look. We all need a superperson on occasion.

Everyone of us.

But. I would suggest, despite knowing that, you shouldn’t search for superpeople nor should you seek to surround yourself with superpeople; you should simply seek to be the best version of yourself, place an immense value on your own sense of character … and, well, superpeople will find you.

Conversely, I would suggest, you can recognize someone of low character because the real superpeople cannot be found anywhere around them … even in their time of need.

In the end.

We all need help at some point. Its crazy to think you don’t. 90% of the time the hero you need is within you. But that 10%? Don’t go searching for a superperson, just raise your hand, 99% of the time, whether they look like a super hero or not, a superperson will show up to help.

===========

“I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read and all the friends I want to see.”

—-

John Burroughs

==============

Well. I originally wrote this at the end of 2016 for 2017 and when rereading I said “Holy Shit!” <to myself> I want to say the same thing heading into 2018 <and now 2019!!>. So I am. I have gone back through and made some slight revisions but the thought still remains the same <2017 was almost as shitty a year as 2016>.

It seems at the end of every year I have written something about predictions for the upcoming year <some right and some wrong>. But this year it is about attitude and only about attitude for 2017 2018 2019.

Why? It would be incredibly easy to say 2016 2017 2018 sucked.

………. 2106 … and … 2017 ….and …. 2018 ……

I don’t care if you made gobs of money or got married or had some unfathomably awesome experience … you only had to look around you and see that pretty much everyone but you <and some nutjobs who still believe Trump is a smart businessman, smarter than the rest of us & authentic> had a shitty year.

Trump being elected president was only the bacteria ridden cherry on top of the melted sundae made with a scoop of your least favorite ice cream.

But back in July I said, unequivocally, I did not want to cancel 2016 <and I listed all the reasons why I would not>  and just because some asshat was elected became president with the most powerful position in the world since then, a bunch of people passed away that seemed like it was too soon and there were a variety of misguided deeds and words randomly dispersed around the world, nothing has changed my mind. I did not want to cancel 2016 or even 2107 or even 2018.

And, maybe more importantly & relevant to how I view 2017 2018 2019, I do not believe because this year was shitty <and it was> that next year will be worse <although I was wrong about 2017 & 2018 which were just different versions of shitty>. Frankly, I don’t think it is healthy to fill your face book page or Instagram or even the coffee room in the office with all the negative perspective bullshit <or if you are a pseudo intellectual … be a nihilist>.

I will not unfollow anyone nor will I ‘de-friend’ anyone nor will I even stop talking with the doomsayers, in fact, I will take them on. I will not try and convert anyone to optimism but I certainly will lay out some pragmatic practical possibilities of what could be which do not suggest a shittier 2017  2018 2019 than 2016 2017 2018, but rather how each year is simply another year as a ‘work-in-progress.’

My view is always progress is progress and movement is good. Sometimes you step up. Sometimes you step back. Sometimes you step out of the way. But at all times you are moving and not stagnant.

No.

I am not out of touch.

No.

I am not an optimist nor am I even optimistic <overall>.

Yes.

I read the news and watch far too many of the alternative universe spouting news channels.

Yes.

I live in the real world where bills can sometimes be tough to pay and friends lose jobs and die.

Yes.

I can certainly get discouraged on occasion and can get concerned about genuinely threatening things.

Yes.

I get a little nervous about the safety, security and direction of a nation I love.

Yes.

I am human and not out of touch.

No.

I do not think we are doomed or Armageddon is upon us.

In some ways I am the Sisyphus of pragmatic idealism <let some philosopher try and tease out the contradictory truth in that>. In The Myth of Sisyphus we view a man’s futile search for meaning, unity, and clarity in the face of an unintelligible world devoid of God and eternal truths or values and, yet, it is suggested we should never quit in the face of seeming futility but rather “no, it requires revolt.”

That said. I am fairly sure it is within the final chapter we view the situation of Sisyphus, the guy in Greek mythology who was condemned to repeat forever the same meaningless task of pushing a boulder up a mountain, only to see it roll down again. It is here in which far too often we ignore the conclusion:“The struggle itself … is enough to fill a man’s heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.”

============

“I leave Sisyphus at the foot of the mountain. One always finds one’s burden again. But Sisyphus teaches the higher fidelity that negates the gods and raises rocks. He too concludes that all is well. This universe henceforth without a master seems to him neither sterile nor futile. Each atom of that stone, each mineral flake of that night-filled mountain, in itself, forms a world. The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.”

Albert Camus

=======

Many people just do not want to get out of bed in the morning. I am not one of those people <and, I admit, there are times I don’t understand the people who do not want to get up and get doing>. In my head it can be just as hard for those of us who always keep going as it is for those who find it hard to get going.

‘Hard’ is hard in my book.

Sure. There are days when I find myself trudging along stubbornly rather than bounding along battling. but no matter what I just cannot envision any alternative to doing.

“Doing” is what I do.

I kind of figure that doing is the only thing that will enable the pragmatic practical ‘better shit’ I believe needs to be done versus the ‘bad shit’ that may be done … if I am not doing my good shit.

And, you know what? I am doing it in 2016 2017 2018 and I envision doing it in 2017 2018 2019.

===============

“I’m not into convincing people I’m worthy.

I’m into people who’ll convince me on my worst days that I’m still worth the world.”

Reyna Biddy

=================

I have said before and will continue to say … I am not an optimist. I may be slightly idealist with regard to the inherent good in people and the belief that the arc of history bends toward what is right versus what is wrong … but an optimist I am not.

I am far too cynical and far too much of a pragmatist.

Oh. Yeah. That word ‘idealistic’ or ‘Idealism.’ I am always hesitant to toss that one out because far too often someone wants to add on ‘infantile’ or ‘unrealistic’ to it.

Maybe in my version of idealism there isn’t fantasy but rather pragmatic understanding that people do bad shit and people do good shit and that you either seek out those who do the good shit, and want to do the good shit, or sit back and let the bad shit-ters do the voodoo they do.

I refuse to let the bad shit-ters win.

I refuse even when faced with uncertainty or faced with some asshats who think their version of what good shit is the right shit.

That is my attitude. It was my attitude in 2016 2017. It has been my attitude for years. It will be my attitude in 2017 2018. And, I imagine, it will be my attitude until the day I die.

Here is what I <and all of us> have going for me in 2017 2018 2019.

The future is uncertain. It isn’t written in stone.

Yeah. Sure. The pessimistic ‘we are doomed’ people seem have a more certain view of the future – one in which it is impossible to imagine an alternative future to be optimistic about.

That seems silly to me.

I do not think it is optimistic to still find each day too short to get done what I want to get done and too short to do all the good shit I know should be done. That’s not optimism … that is simply a desire to do something and, preferably, to do good shit.

Remember. Doing is what I do.

If I were to say one thing about myself with regard to what I am good at <and I mostly think I am average at best> it would be my ability to get up every day and find some good shit to do. I don’t really care about the day itself nor do I pay much attention to whether any particular situation is good or bad — I just wake up every day thinking it is going to be too short to do all the good shit I want to do.

But. That there will be another ‘too short day’ the following day and I will wake up that day and get going all over again. That is my 2017 2018 2019. That is the only thing I find certain about the year.

…….. “But … I am doing something …………..”

That is neither hopeful nor is it optimistic that is pragmatic, practical and focused on contributing the arc of Life that I believe in.

Do I now what I am doing?

Hell no. But I am doing. And that is my attitude for 2017, 2018, 2019 and beyond.

There truly are few certainties in this world … but … I do believe that inevitably good trumps bad and that good shit gets done by people who do not believe bad shit is better. That is my attitude for 2017 2018 2019. And I tend to believe 2017 2018 2019 will be a shitload better than 2016 2017 2018 if more people had this attitude. I think we would all be able to do more good shit if we all believed each day was still too short for all the good shit we want to do.

With that … Happy New Year. And go do something good.