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“The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men / Gang aft agley.”

(The best laid schemes of mice and men / Often go awry.)

“The poem denotes the narrator of the poem is plowing his field when he cuts through a mouse nest. The poet shows regret and apologizes to the mouse before he goes on a tangent which reveals the deeper meaning of the poem. The connotation is that even when you mean no harm and have pure intentions, you can destroy somebody else’s well laid plans.”

Robert Burns’ poem “To a Mouse”

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“You’re little but you’re big.”

Pretty Little Liars

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Ok. We are mice <hence the phrase ‘rat race’>. We may like to think of ourselves as the ones plowing the field but, alas, we are simply mice in the field.

What do I mean by that?

More often than not, most of us usually have no, or very little, control over our lot in Life.

More often than not, most of us are little people doing little things in the big scheme of everything that is happening.

More often than not, most big things that go awry were little things when viewing in the rear view mirror. In other words. We do little things all the frickin’ time that ultimately have a bigger impact than we could ever imagine assuming we were even paying attention to the little thing we did.

And, yet, despite  all of that  we are planning creatures.

We plan our weekends, vacations, and lives. We plan little, medium and big things.

Some of us plan every detail and polish each detail to perfection. Some of us decide on a plan that involves not having any plan. At either end of that spectrum we are planning our time so that we can get the most out of it.

On weekends we plan our time that we might do what we want to do and get done what must get done.

On vacation we plan to see new things and we actually plan relaxation <which seems kind of crazy>.

On life we plan where we will be in five years what our career path should be and what we plan our personal live to look like.

Shit. We even plan our spontaneity.

Suffice it to say.

What you are planning to do with your life may be one of the biggest things in your life. Okay. Maybe not but it is certainly one of the most discussed things in your life.

And for young people?

Yikes.

Everyone really wants to know what your plan is. What do you want to do with your life <and all the steps in your plan leading up to whatever that ‘do’ is>? These are all big questions and it sounds quite nice to have big answers and a nice big neat plan.

Well. The unfortunate Life truth is that for all of our planning nothing is more certain than the fact that something will go wrong and ‘the plan’ is no longer a viable plan.

Even worse? More often than not some little unplanned thing occurs and whole big plan goes awry.

The main issue in big plans and big planning is the fact that little things are ever changing. And, worse, they are changing all the while oblivious to the neat orderly plan you had in place.

Now. Even with all this change I imagine you have a choice — plow through the change with an unchanging plan or let your neat plan take on some less neat fluidity.

Which begs the question, if big plans cannot be solid because of all the little things changing … then what use is a plan?

Well. Plans and planning do matter.

And big plans, done well, do matter.

And “done well” can be defined as things change so does the plan <that is if you do your big planning right>.
In fact as things change, well, other plans are formed. To be a good planner I guess you have to pay attention to how things are changing and then adapt the plan to fit the situation.

Boy. That sure does sound like a lot of work making a plan only to change it to another plan.

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Murphy’s laws

• If anything can go wrong, it will

• If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong

• If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway

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Anyway. This is not an indictment against big plans and big planning.

In fact I would suggest that you know you are a big planner <as in one effective at creating Big plans> if all the little things that go wrong do not make your big plan go awry they simply make you adapt while maintaining progress toward the ultimate objectives.

In the end. Remember. Little things can make big plans go awry. Shit. Little things can make anything go awry. Unfortunately for most of us schmucks more often than not what we think is little is actually big and what we see as big is usually little. And maybe, just maybe, that is why 99% of plans go awry. Ponder that.

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“Philosophy is to be studied, not for the sake of any definite answers to its questions, since no definite answers can, as a rule, be known to be true, but rather for the sake of the questions themselves; because these questions enlarge our conception of what is possible, enrich our intellectual imagination and diminish the dogmatic assurance which closes the mind against speculation; but above all because, through the greatness of the universe which philosophy contemplates, the mind also is rendered great, and becomes capable of that union with the universe which constitutes its highest good.”

Bertrand Russell, The Problems of Philosophy

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So. Every once in a while you get asked a question that makes you think about yourself and reflect on how you have changed. I was asked one the other day <a seemingly harmless question>.

What was your favorite class in college?

My answer was easy. Philosophy.

Now. I would like to think I have become more of a philosopher late in age. Okay. Maybe just more philosophical.  I imagine mostly because I would like to think I finally have the knowledge and mind adeptness to grasp such intangible concepts … things I just couldn’t do in youth.

But as I type that I am reminded of a quote from Game of Thrones:

Tyrion to Cersei:

“There’s nothing worse than a late blooming philosopher.”

Oops. I have become what Tyrion hates — a late blooming philosopher.

Anyway.

Another piece of information about my favorite class Philosophy.

Despite being my favorite class — I got a D.

But I loved the class.

I didn’t know it at the time but it began my love affair with ambiguity. In general, academically, I was a relatively indifferent student but I worked my ass off for that class. And, yeah, still got a D.

Oh. Once again. I loved that class.

I loved it all despite the fact that philosophy is all about logical thinking, yet, ending with sometimes illogical ambiguity. In hindsight at that age I was too linear a thinker and while I loved the thinking I ultimately scorned the ambiguity. Or. Maybe it scorned me.

As a moth to flame I was drawn to it and got roasted as I got too near the flame. But. It was definitely the beginning of my true love affair with ambiguity. All that class reading and studying hovered in the back of my head for years. Never really moving to the forefront, but always lurking.

Ah. And then my next memorable date with ambiguity. It was in business school where I entered b-school lore.

“I am indifferent.”

During a case study discussion the professor says “so Mr. McTague, what solution do you believe is the proper option here?” Me…“I am indifferent.”  <I may have even said “I don’t care.”>

The poor choice of words aside <which stayed written on the board at the front for the remainder of the semester> I was beginning to grasp the fact there is rarely one best solution — just several better, or worse, solutions any of which will get you to where you want to go. Philosophically this was a HUGE business lesson. It is really practical useful learning assuming you can actually implement it in the workplace. Philosophy continued to lurk sometimes moving to the forefront in the form of philosophical quotes or random thoughts I gathered in the development of speeches I gave.

Interestingly this love of ambiguity has served me well in business.

Inevitably it meant that I never really got hung up making decisions. I kind of figured out making a decision somewhere in the spectrum of “the better decisions” was better than dicking around seeking the ever elusive so-called ‘best’ decision.

But, in thinking about the what is your favorite class question, I started thinking about if I had always had this philosophical muscle or did it develop over time.

So I pulled out my high school year book and looked at some things teachers wrote in it:

–          My Spanish teacher … “muy perezoso “<very lazy> … but I got an A in her class.

–          My wacky English teacher wrote something in Latin <and the extent of my Latin knowledge revolved around ‘cogito ergo sum’> pulchra manu. pulchra cogitandi. I thought she was a wackjob and never bothered translating it until maybe 15 years later: “beautiful handwriting. beautiful thinker.”

–          My history teacher: Most interesting student I have ever had.

–          My physics/chemistry teacher: Pursue physics. Physics will never be the same if you do.

–          My guidance counselor <who, in hindsight, I probably caused him more gray hair than anything or anyone he ran into in his entire life>: I hope you find what you are looking for. <note: because he, nor I, had a clue what I was looking for>

** note: I highly recommend pulling out your high school yearbooks and read what your teachers wrote about you. It is humbling, terrifying and satisfying (all at the same time)

Well. I imagine I was a very frustrating kid to my teachers and parents. I know I was a very confused kid. In hindsight I was just as frustrated as them, but I wasn’t mature enough to be actually frustrated just confused.

Now. Some adults handled me better than others. Some in their frustration tried to force me into some decision or tighten the boundaries. Others simply tried to widen the boundaries to show me how far I could go.

Regardless. I am sure I frustrated both and all.

In comparison, in some ways I envy my sister. I am relatively sure she was, and is, intellectually sharper <and smarter> than I. In addition I sense she figured out how to focus her brain <and intellectualness> much earlier than I did. Ah. That focus thing. She could have been a world class engineer (if that is what she elected to be) or lawyer, shit, I believe she could have been a world class anything if she elected to pursue it. She could focus, and still can, her brain power. That is a talent. She has it <I do not>. Oh. Separate note. Instead of engineering or law she selected almost an opposite direction and has done quite well.

Her strength? Focus.

My strength? Ambiguity.

** note: but I believe we both have a strong low tolerance for bullshit … which philosophy can sometimes hover around

Anyway. I am sure any specific strength, with its correlating weaknesses, is frustrating to adults which makes us <as kids> frustrated with adults.

But I imagine that is how it is with adults and children. Each disappoints the other in ways that neither recognizes nor intends and it takes time to overcome the disappointment. In the end a child doesn’t always understand the complexities of adult choices and an adult rarely understands the complexities of what a child is going through and the choices they make or don’t make.

A child’s best hope in life is that parents, and all adults, try to do the best for the child. That doesn’t mean that making those decisions on ‘what is best’ is easy and, in fact, it is a difficult process and the choices made for you imprint you … maybe mark you, in some way, that is, if you permit it to. If you deal with it, you move on and progress and it may even mark you positively.

We end up growing up the best we can under the circumstances given us.

I would suggest it does us little good to second guess ourselves years later. To me it seems a better option to simply try to understand why we are as we are, who we are, and then try and better ourselves by learning from that.

Anyway. My path was, and is, certainly winding. I imagine it is winding not because of capability, or the lack thereof, but rather because of my inherent love of ambiguity. I do know that as I have grown older not only have I become a ‘late blooming philosopher’ but also recognize I seek opportunities wherein lies ambiguity.

I philosophically, and tangibly, like finding solutions within the ambiguity <in business and in Life>.

All that said.

“A musician must make music, a painter must paint, a poet must write if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What one can be, one must be.”

Abraham Maslow

Maslow was a smart guy. I do not believe I am a deep thinker nor am I a philosopher. And I am absolutely sure that I don’t have it all figured out — that includes myself, Life and business. Even today, of later age, I am a work in progress. I imagine that means I live a Life somewhat constantly in ambiguity.

I imagine in a broad sense that being philosophical is something I do as I seek to understand fundamental truths about myself, the world we live in <and the wacky people residing in this world> and, interestingly, business itself.

In the end I would still bet that I would get a poor grade in philosophy. I am too pragmatic to be a philosopher. I like, far too much, actually finding an answer <or at least the best answer available> within the ambiguity. That doesn’t mean I cannot be philosophical, just not a philosopher.

Well. No ambiguity there, huh?

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“Drowning men, it is said, cling to wisps of straw.”

–

Fyodor Dostoevsky

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There may be nothing worse than the feeling of something slipping away from you.

Standing there just watching whatever it is slip away like water through fingers.

Okay. Maybe worse?

The feeling like it is all slipping away from you and there is really nothing you can do. And, yet, you will cling to anything … even wisps of straw hoping you can hold on to whatever it is that is slipping away.

It is a helpless feeling.

Especially the first time you drown.

Oh. Yes. I just said “first time.”

Yeah. You can actually drown many times in Life & business.

That’s the thing with Life <and much of business>.

This kind of drowning rarely kills you in Life <real drowning does>. It really only kills the moment, the ‘thing’, the feeling, the opportunity, the whatever.

Regardless.

Drowning sucks.

Here is a Life truth about why it sucks so much.

Moments, ‘things’, feelings, opportunities, possibilities – die fast .. like in the blink of an eye. In a blink of an eye what was possible simply disappears and is no longer possible.

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“In the blink of an eye, what was possible is possible no longer.”

Nelika McDonald

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Despite this blink of an eye timing … we see the situation as drowning. This means we cling to wisps of straws that are not really there. And we call it drowning but in reality we are already ‘dead’ <with that opportunity>.

Here is the good news.

While this feeling sucks, it is easily recognized. And because it is easily recognized , if we truly pay attention, we can avoid wasting energy and time clinging to the wisps of straws and swim away to something else.

I am not suggesting this is easy.

I simply suggest recognizing something is half the battle.

I simply suggest we should not ignore the easy part because drowning is rarely sneaky.

Let me end with where I began – clinging to wisps of straw. We all will drown. It’s just part of living Life to its fullest. Therefore I would suggest it is incredibly important to recognize that we are desperately clinging to only little wisps of straw and, instead, should be seeking to swim away to seek the next moment and opportunity to, well, fly.

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“Maybe you can afford to wait.

“People are all over the world telling their one dramatic story and how their life has turned into getting over this one event. Now their lives are more about the past than their future. “

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Chuck Palahniuk

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We all have moments, you know, cross road moments.  Ok. There are actually a shitload of crossroad moments, in fact, so many your head would explode if you truly counted them. But, in this case, I mean ‘that moment’ kind of moment.

That moment we believe our world and Life shifted direction.

One moment in which something died within us … or something came to Life within us.

The proverbial and metaphorical fork in the road.

I will not argue that these moments not only play a large role in life nor will I argue that these moments can be infinitely important. But. What I will suggest is that, maybe, we make these moments important to us in the wrong way.

Maybe we need not reflect upon them because they are … well … in the past.

We have already left ‘there’ and are now ‘here’ and are … well … on our way to ‘somewhere.’

I don’t know. I saw this quote and it made me think.

It made me think about how often when asked about ‘how did you get here’ we so quickly shift into the past and, well, not talk about what is happening now. Nor do we answer this question by discussing where we are going, i.e., the future.

It made me think about how we value our past decisions so highly and maybe not value decisions to come at the same value.

It made me think that we assess value in size <one big moment> rather than in quantity <the little moments that got us ‘here’>.

It made me think about how many choices we have, have many of those choices are truly meaningful, and how many ore are actually meaningless, how poorly we assess meaningful & meaningless, and how often a ‘fork choice’ doesn’t really look like a fork when standing there.

Sure. Some of us probably have ‘that moment’ stored somewhere in our past. But I imagine more of us actually have a whole bunch of seemingly meaningless little moments, almost unrecognizable, that have got us to where we are attitudinally, intellectually and physically.

It made me think maybe by reliving ‘that moment’ we are setting us up for unrealistic future moment management.

It made me think maybe we are continuously seeking big earth shattering moments in the future by doing so.

It made me think that maybe, in reality, the future is made up of infinitesimal little moments in which we are made, broken, reshaped & remade.

Aw. Shit. This is all philosophical rambling on my part.

All I know for sure is that I will hesitate from here on out to dramatize some past event as ‘meaningful in my Life’ beyond the fact it was but a moment. I will hesitate to think that “everything would have been different” if i had done something in that moment.

I will not argue that there are some moments we would all like to have back and do something differently. I imagine my real point is that there were most likely a succession of moments that led up to it (that were just as important) and there are moments after that moment in which things may have unfolded just as poorly, or maybe not as well, if we had done something differently.

But I do know that I will just take … well …. a moment or two clarifying in my mind that some moment I am thinking about was not necessarily ‘that moment’, but simply ‘a moment.’

I imagine my hope in doing this is that maybe thinking this way I will make every moment a little more important in the future.

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“Every organization must be prepared to abandon everything it does to survive in the future.”

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Peter Drucker in 1999

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Well. This is about organization change, decision-making and change & people.

Ok. When was the last time you said “This isn’t working. We need to change it.”

Yesterday? Today? A minute ago? Well. It happens every day.

To everyone.

I would suggest the idea that people are ever satisfied with what is, and what surrounds us, actually defines us as a species. We are in a state of perpetual dissatisfaction. We are constantly thinking about how to change shit, improve shit and fix shit. That’s what we do and it doesn’t matter whether it is at home, in businesses or in Life.

We are thinkers, innovators and inventors and <whether we actually think about it this way> ‘changers.’

We are constantly faced with changes every day and moving toward solutions to address the changes. In fact. I could simply call this ‘adapting’ <which may be more palatable to people than ‘changing’>.

In our heads we decide whether we want to sit still and bitch & moan or decide whether we want to impact the change happening around us with something positive. That is what we do <we people>.

This seems even moreso in business where 90% of us assume change is inevitable.

In 1999 Peter Drucker said:

“ We do not hear much anymore about overcoming resistance to change, which 10 or 15 years ago <in the 80’s> was one of the most popular top management seminars.

Everybody has now accepted by now that change is unavoidable.  But this still implies that change is like death & taxes – it should be postponed as long as possible and no change would be vastly preferable. But in a period of upheaval, such as the one we are living in, change is the norm.”

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Reminder. He said this in 1999.

Look. We are constantly faced with change. We are constantly being forced to adapt. That said. Frankly, we are not all change agents and, frankly, the majority of our own change is not dictated by us … we are simply forced to adapt to a swirling environment in which we are simply trying to exist <and prosper if possible>. If you think about it that way, your only opportunity to make a difference in the change comes in , well, maybe two ways:

Leadership

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Knowledge

I’d suggest those two things are connected. The more you become knowledgeable on the issues, understand the decisions being made by others, discern what society or culture is actually imbuing into the environment then ultimately you can actually be a part of the solution , and change, rather than be some frictional element slowing the change <some people would suggest the latter is becoming part of the problem>.

You need to be informed, ready to act and willing to act.

You do not need to be dynamic as an individual to be dynamic beyond your purposes.

I say that because we shouldn’t get grumpy with people who hesitate to embrace change. Shit. We all hesitate to embrace change because it means leaving some things we actually like behind. Therein lies the reason I opened with the Drucker quote.

“Abandoning everything it does.”

He didn’t say ‘abandon the bad stuff.” He said “everything.”

There is where I believe we people, and businesses, get change really wrong. We try and hold on to something. Mostly the somethings we believe is the good stuff. Yes. Some of it may truly be good, but how often does the current good look bad in the new changed environment. This often means we end up not only holding on to something that is worthless in the here & now, but most likely slows/slowed us down during the change <because we kept on holding on to it and trying to figure out how to actually keep it ‘good’> and, worse, it is now most likely gumming up the new environment in some form or fashion.

I would argue change becomes even tougher & trickier because we are just not comfortable abandoning everything if we need to.

Shit. Business book after business book and business school after business school pounds into our heads that efficiency is about consistent delivery and developing best practices and highly successful protocols & processes. All of that suggests “maintain.” Build and don’t abandon. The problem? We see them as foundational items and not as potential anchors.

Look. Some smartass asshole is going to send me an email and say “you cannot always change everything because that is chaos.”

Yes. That’s not really the point.

The point is that you have to be PREPARED to abandon everything, i.e., willing to let anything and everything go.

The point is ‘survival’ not ‘managing change.’ We seem to too easily lose sight of this survival view even when we hunker down and think about what we would be willing to do to truly survive. Regardless. We all know that young people and inexperienced people <and clueless consultants> will always be the first ones to say “throw it all out, it is wrong, begin fresh.”  Well. rather than ignore I’m always prepared to listen to them. Just listen.

And know when to abandon.

And know when to hold on.

Look. All change is confusing to people. I am not suggesting it isn’t welcome or desired just that even when desired it can be confusing with a mix of emotions as the desire rarely matches reality.

I will note this is where leadership steps in. Good leaders tend to inspire simply by bringing people together around a shared purpose and a common set of values and motivate them to create value for everyone involved. They know their ‘north star’ with regard to a moral compass and are prepared to stay the course despite challenges and disappointments and focus change (and adapting) on value creation – not change itself.

Change leadership is not easy. As Teddy Roosevelt said … “in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood … who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions … knows in the end the triumph of high achievement” that can truly only come by leading well. I disagree with some people in that I don’t believe leadership has to be great by any stretch of the imagination … just do it well. And ‘do it well’ often means being prepared to abandon everything to survive.

In the end.

Being PREPARED to abandon everything to survive is an attitude. Abandoning the right things is a skill. And all of it is change. I actually believe most people like change (but hate the way most businesses & leaders talk about it & implement it) but this version of change, “abandon everything”, well, this is the scary type of change – its about survival. That makes it essential. And essential is scary. And maybe that’s my point. Change, when its natural & tied to adapting is less daunting. It feels evolutionary & good. Abandon all to survive feels “impactful.” That’s where leadership enters into the equation. Instill the energy to abandon all, yet, instill the attitude its simply adapting. Anyway. I believe people would benefit from viewing Life with an eye toward ‘abandoning everything’ just to assess what is most important but I believe it is ESSENTIAL to business.

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Why are we so full of restraint?

Why do we not give in all directions?

Is it fear of losing ourselves? Until we do lose ourselves there is no hope of finding ourselves.

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Henry Miller

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Wimp. Gutless. Chicken. Wuss. Mamby pamby. Spineless jellyfish.

Pick your word.

That is what business has become.

Yeah. I know. Harsh.

Go boldly is just not a phrase you hear often in business anymore.

Not even whispered.

Heck.

Not even kiddingly.

Instead we use words like ‘managing risk’ or ‘planned change’ or “restrained response is necessary” or “we need to follow the process” or … well … any other chicken shit scared-to-do-what-needs-to-be-done word or phrase.

Now. To be clear.

Everyone talks about being brave — “let’s be bold”. Yeah. Everyone sits in meetings and waves their hands enthusiastically or look around sternly making statements and actually talk about bold thinking and bold moves and, well, being bold. Attend any planning meeting or transition meeting or change meeting, in fact, pretty much any meeting in a business office and at some point someone will throw the ‘let’s be bold’ card out onto the table.

What happens next?

Everyone looks as Bold sits there on the table within the reach of anyone. Sitting there on a plate like everyone’s favorite donut .. all the while everyone looking at it is on a diet.

Oh, so tasty.

Oh, I can’t touch it.

This most typically happens in some snazzy meeting room and when someone starts talking about the direction of the business and change, but it also comes up when talking about some new initiative, some new ‘creative thinking’ or … well … anything that may appeal to younger employees or anyone who truly wants to do something good, or spectacular, on the business. 

Conceptually … the desire is there. So why is there no real bold behavior?

We are in a mamby pamby business world.

We are in a ‘let’s stick with the tried & true <safe> to maintain whatever growth we just celebrated in our last meeting” <which was most likely really crappy but justified by a verbal ‘better than the competition’> world. We are in a “let’s be edgy but don’t scare off any potential customers” <which those people most likely aren’t a viable revenue stream anyway> world.

Unfortunately for these spineless shits sitting around conference tables … reality in today’s business world is that we are actually in a “smart bold actions at the smartest time” <but … uhm ,.. apparently no one is smart enough – bold enough? – to identify the smart time>.

It sucks.

We are now living in a “rationalize minuscule change as bold actions’ business world. It is demoralizing as well as a less than effective business strategy.

All that said.

This lack of boldness strikes deepest during transitions and change. And I can logically explain why.

Change in business scares the shit out of any manager & leader.

Okay.

It scares the shit out of 99% of business people <mostly the older more experienced>.

Yeah, yeah, yeah … change sounds great, but in practice it is a shitload like chaos. You plan, but as soon as transition hits its full stride the plan is … well … no longer a plan.

Ok. It is the remnants of a plan.

This means many managers are left with scraps of a plan in their hands and this means that many managers are left to make their own decisions and left to their own devices. This also means that many managers find out they are gutless chicken shits.

Why do I say that?

In their minds ‘go boldly’ is defined by “implement the plan.” Boldly implement the plan to the nth degree.

Without a plan? The cold fear of the unknown and being unsure freezes boldness.

<sigh>

Wimps.

We have become a business world of wimps.

And this lack of a bold muscle can cost you in a variety of ways.

If you do not go boldly you will not only never find success, frankly, you will also ever find “you”, as in yourself, as in “what I am capable of.”

By the way … bold does not mean ‘stupid’. Bold simply means attempting to control your destiny – your personal one and your business one. And in doing so … well … you are letting the chips fall as they may by managing the chips as well as you can.

In Greek this is called Kairos. Kairos is the ability to adapt to and take advantage of changing circumstances.

The concept suggests you have an opportunity to manage what fate has in store for you … if you manage the circumstances as they arise.

And how does this relate to ‘be bold’?

Well. Kairos suggests that fate has a whole array of possibilities to shove your way – not just one in particular. Uhm. That means, if you buy that thought, depending on what you do and how you act and what you say … uhm … Fate just may end up offering you a possibility other than what it thought it was going to offer you a moment ago. This also suggests some boldness increases the odds in your favor with regard to fate. I personally do not think this is ‘fate favors the brave.’ I believe it is less about bravery and more about simply boldly acting upon what your experience suggests is the way to go as a way of managing your Fate.

I could argue that 90%+ of business people do not balk at the idea of ‘being bold’, but balk at actually being bold.

I could argue that the % may even go up higher during business transition <change> times.

Yeah. Even with a real challenge and the authority and space to operate “bold” is unfortunately very very low on the list of business behavioral attitudes.

What is high on the list?

“Restrained response” …

“Restrained behavior”

“Restrained risk.”

I have one word for you.

Wimps.

“Restrained” is for all the fucking wimps.

Look.

We need more smart bold non-wimps in today’s business world.

We need less chicken shit, scared to move, business managers and more bold managers who seek possibilities with a 360 degree view … without restraint … and the desire to do the right smart thing in any direction.

Lastly. Better than any whizbang cultural “happiness mojo” initiatives, being bold, embracing bravery within the business actions, will increase the energy of the organization, attract young people & increase overall productivity as well as engagement (which is the real prize in a business).

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“Truth itself is an emergent distinction. It’s not a noun; it’s more of a verb.”

Peter Joseph

——————–

I had the privilege to speak with some high school students on a variety of topics … & opinions, facts & truth came up (as, of course, opinions & beliefs were being discussed). I got to share 1 of my favorite quotes.

Look. Far too often we speak of truths in absolutes and, even worse, suggest an individual fact represents truth. Both of these things are actually the nemesis of truth.

Truths are dependent upon knowledge and, well, knowledge is not only contextual to situations but is also evolving as new learning occurs. In other words, truth is emergent.

And for those who state they stand on a fact as truth, to mangle a Dr. Jason Fox thought, “conviction means you become a convict to something.” An individual fact, tightly held, is simply a cage in which you are the convict holding tight on to a conviction of which the only way you get freed is to actually let go of that conviction and seek numerous facts and the knowledge that comes along with them.

In general, when speaking of truth, we should all be annoyed with specificity and simplicity. What I mean by that is a layered truth demands more than the simplistic specificity that can be found in one, individual, fact. Let me define how i view facts, knowledge and truth (and their relationship).

• Facts. Facts are everywhere. an individual fact is nice to know but, in isolation, does not represent a full truth.

An absence of a fact is typically the root of any conspiracy theory (or false argument). “There is no proof, it is not” never trumps “there is proof that it is.”

• Knowledge. Facts, combined, create knowledge. Opinions, & conspiracy theories, combine *coincidental* facts, not correlated facts. knowledge are *correlated* facts combined. coincidental is lazy. correlation takes work & thought.
• Truth. Truth is a coherence of knowledge (combinations of facts) into a cohesive unit of facts. This means that truth adapts to changing knowledge (not individual facts).

While I’m not sure I got it all exactly right i do believe i was able to get some young people to understand one fact is simply a step toward truth and that truth, itself, is layered and often complex.

This leads me to the societal nemesis of truth – this whole ‘anti-intellectualism’ thing. I honestly don’t understand the whole anti-intellectual thing. I have tried, but the tangled web eludes me. Its quite possible knowledge, which is exponentially different than common sense (which isn’t really that common), is caught up the whole “establishment is bad” thing.

It almost seems like every existing infrastructure, let’s call it ‘establishment’, is being painted as “bad, stupid & incompetent.’ And they are not. Saying all politicians are worthless, or media is all tainted and crooked, or all science is driven by a liberal agenda, is as bad as me saying all old white men are sexist, xenophobic asshats.

We treat establishment as if it is one big conspiracy theory which is a little out of my realm of belief. The victim of this odd attack on establishment and those who have real factual knowledge is, well, truth. Truth is dependent upon facts & knowledge well used and well-honed in the battlefield of thinking & thought. Without it the intellectual debate resides on the superficial surface of anything meaningful.

“Is being an investigator the opposite of being an artist? Maybe it is just that some mysteries require an artist not an investigator. That an artist has different ways to get to the truth.”

Tibetan thought

Ponder this.

The path to truth is not just one path. Sure. I may know one ‘truth.’ But in knowing that I know … well … one thing. And I am sure many people are fine with the knowledge of one truth. And I do not begrudge them of that. For one truth is, at its core, a truth. And I believe everyone needs some truth in their life.

Does knowing more than one truth <if there truly is such a thing> make someone better? Yikes. I don’t believe I could be a good judge of that. Because knowing multiple truths can be confusing and in confusion someone just may not end up in a better place. I guess I would suggest that if multiple truths put you on more solid ground than go for it.

But the real point to this is that someone without YOUR knowledge is more likely to teach you something completely new than someone who shares your knowledge.

And, ultimately, if you are trying to understand the world, or simply solve a problem, to truly learn the answer you may have to turn your back on some things you know and face someone who knows some other facts, has some other knowledge and may even be able to share some new truths.

On a separate note (maybe on my mind because I was speaking with students).

I will say, as I discuss facts, knowledge & truth, I find the entire concept of ‘future-proof skills” absurd. There is no such thing as a future-proof skill. Okay. Maybe active learning (but I don’t think that is a skill). Which leads me to the thing that always makes me chuckle whenever I get pulled into some ‘future skills’ discussion. Its “Technique for Producing Ideas” by James Webb Young. Published in 1940 written by a man who developed these ‘skills’ in the 1920’s. The entire book is about ‘future-proofing skill development.” 1920’s. 1940. 2020. What was, is, and will be.

Anyway.

I would suggest that Truth is a puzzling maze for anyone to navigate — good person or bad person.

• Facts come and go. We have as many of them floating around as stars in the sky.
• Knowledge demands some creativity in combination of facts (think seeing constellations in a night sky), some hard work (to gather the most appropriate facts) and some wisdom (to discard less relevant facts).
• Truth demands, well, active learning and a tightly held, loose grip on individual truths themselves.

All that said. Does anyone really want to live in a world without truth?

=================

“A boss creates fear, a leader confidence.

A boss fixes blame, a leader corrects mistakes.

 A boss knows all, a leader asks questions.

A boss makes work drudgery, a leader makes it interesting.

A boss is interested in himself or herself, a leader is interested in the group.”

—–

Russell H. Ewing

===============

This is not about threatening employees about making mistakes <i.e., ”you are gonna get fired if you fuck this up”>, but rather threatening employees who are exhibiting behavior that isn’t what you want from them. This is also less a thought about managing individuals, but more about managing a culture and groups of individuals – exploring systemic behavior issues.

Now. I have to tell you.

Having managed a shitload of people there has certainly been some point where I wanted to threaten my employees if not just strangle them <and I am sure the feeling was mutual on occasion>. Most of us just take a deep breath. Maybe close the door of their office and throw something. And then calm down enough to realize that most employees’ actions & behaviors are derivative of our own leadership.

As a corollary to that thought, if the actions & behaviors reflect a more systemic issue and not just some random individuals, well, you know it is reflective of your own leadership <or lack of leadership>.

Ah … “most of us.” Well. Not “all of us.”

Management by fear is the go-to tactic of the old generation of business leaders. They were also the ‘benevolent dictators’ <sort of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Men of Hitlers> as well as the dickheads who treated everyone like shit except the ones who did exactly what they were told to do.

Once again, about the only business people who believe in this type of management are:

<1> those who have never run a larger organization which demands cultural alignment for effectiveness,

<2> managers over the age of 55 — mostly white ones,

<3> weak leaders, or

<4> narcissistic arrogant dickheads.

=========== 

“I suppose that leadership at one time meant muscle; but today it means getting along with people.

Indira Gandhi

============

Threatening employees with forced confidentiality agreements, law suits, sweeping statements of firing a shitload of people, and even “you are either with me or against me” type threats is not only stupid but it is less than effective.

That doesn’t encourage the best behavior, which is self-motivated, but rather all this does is create ‘forced behavior.’ Now. I am no behavior expert, but even I know if I am forcing a certain type of behavior and, ultimately, that behavior is never absorbed as ‘self-affirmation of what I believe and like”, well, the first chance an employee gets to ‘unforce themselves’ they are gonna do it.

Here is what most of the good leaders know.

You can never, and I mean never, absolve yourself of the behaviors of your employees. You are either complicit or encouraged or simply an enabler. You are, whether you like it or not, responsible for your employee’s actions.

What does that mean?

If they do things that piss you off you, most likely, have pissed them off.

If they show you little respect, you, most likely, have shown them little respect.

If they show you lack of loyalty, you, most likely, have not earned their loyalty or shown behavior that deserves loyalty.

If you do not recognize anything I just wrote as truth, you, most likely, just threaten your employees every time they do something you don’t like.

Look.

I have absolutely talked to an individual employee about their expense reports.

I have absolutely spoken to an individual employee about their behavior in the office.

I have absolutely sat down with an individual employee about what they should, or should not, be saying to people outside the office.

But, more importantly, I talk with the accounting department, the HR department and department heads to find out about what the organization is systemically doing with their expense reports, behavior in the office and talking outside the office before I speak with any individual.

I don’t think I was a particularly great leader, but even I knew that systemic behavioral issues were my issues — not their issues. I also understand that threatening employees, or even the trite ‘carrot & stick’ thinking, was ineffective if you wanted to build a culture where individual employees didn’t cheat on their expense reports, didn’t do stupid shit in the office and didn’t say the wrong things about the company outside the office.

A leader knows threats are stupid if you have any desire to build a long term culture. You set expectations, provide a vision that people can be proud of and the reward is not anything individual monetarily or even ‘keeping your job’ but rather the employee looks around and sees solidarity – the prize is being part of a team aligned on an objective.

Some leaders don’t see that. All they see is bad behavior and offer threats to seal the cracks in the system. All that does is mask the problem not solve the problem. All that solves systemic organizational bad behavior is good leadership — not threats.

Fear, despite what some may suggest, is not a particularly great motivator in business.

—————

“And the nights, bigger than imagining: black and gusty and enormous, disordered and wild with stars.”

—–

Donna Tartt 

=============== 

“This is the way the world ends

Not with a bang but a whimper.”

―

T.S. Eliot

==========

Well. Despite the fact most nights remain the same amount of hours, minutes and seconds day to day, a sleepless night can often look bigger than imagined. I have found that sleepless nights are less about restless minds and more about capacity in a squeezed space.

Huh?

Let me tackle squeezed first.

In general the world is a pretty vast place and our lives can seem fairly inconsequential.

The good news about this is that within all that vastness there is a lot of room to let some of the more horrible or horribly mundane crap just slip by.

The bad news occurs when all of a sudden Life, and the world, shrinks and you feel squeezed. And this can happen a lot easier than one may think.

Ponder what I am going to say as “the big squeeze.”

Everyday everyone faces some naturally occurring ‘shrinking’ aspects which in and of themselves can’t shrink your Life enough to matter. Let’s just say this is the daily grind of work, chores and family & Life commitments. Some things go well and some things don’t.

And then, of course, there will be a day or two where the things that “don’t” significantly outnumber the things that “do.” because this is day to day shit I view this as getting squeezed from the sides. They kind of suffocate you a little.

But set that aside for a moment.

And then there will be some days where you have that ad hoc shit you have to plan to get done — the faucet is dripping, the car engine light is on, someone hit the mailbox, crap like that. 95% of the time this kind of shit never goes as planned. It takes too long or it doesn’t get done right the first time or … well … suffice it to say … the easy stuff never gets done as easily as you would want.

And then, of course, there will be a day or two where the things that never get done as easily as you want actually end up just not going right. This is stupid little shit … but maybe think about it as maybe getting squeezed from underneath – an unexpected aggravating shift on the ground below you.

But set that aside for a moment.

And then there will be some days where you turn on the TV or maybe scan the internet news breaks and … well … some shit has hit the fan. Your country has made some monumental decision that seems to shift its place in the world.

Some nutjob terrorist has committed some heinous act to innocent people.

Some “thing” happens that feel like a shift in the bedrock of ‘what is.’ It may not directly affect you but you sense that it is a monumental thing which will most likely affect you <even though you aren’t sure how yet>. This is big shit … this just makes you feel a little like the weight of the world has gotten a little heavier and the world as you have known it has become a little murkier. You are getting squeezed from above.

But set that aside for a moment.

Now. I will now get to capacity.

Let’s assume on one day all there of things happen … you get squeezed all on one day. Oddly, this becomes a test of your capacity <which implies largeness>. And, yes, maybe it is about largeness. As in how large you can remain as you get squeezed.

Some nights it isn’t easy to not get suffocated.

Other nights you find your capacity and push back a little.

Most nights you find just enough largeness to not get, well, too little.

But the nights in which all three aspects I outlined squeezed you I would suggest the word ‘forlorn’ comes to mind. 

====================

“Oft hope is born when all is forlorn.”

J.R.R. Tolkien

=============

I use forlorn because I associate it with capacity as I am discussing it today. Forlorn has a sense of shrinking to it in that the good in Life seems to shrink and that which is bad seems to grow and you are left with that wretched forlorn feeling which dogs you throughout a sleepless night. Forlorn seems like it is more appropriate than lonely or lonesome in that it specifically embraces a senses of wretchedness and desertion or abandonment … in my mind … ‘despairing of the arrival of a friend … in this case … a friend called Hope.”

To me all of what I just shared with regard to squeezing and capacity captures the essence of the worst of the worst sleepless nights. And, if I were a betting man, I would bet we have all had a few of these.

Ok. Here is what I know.

Most of us get through these nights. Despite the vast emptiness of a night, more vast than we imagined it should be, we cast about among the chaos of the stars and find some light. I like to think of it as we clamber through the clouds and exist.

===============

“I will clamber through the clouds and exist.”

John Keats

==============

And the outcome of most of these nights, in addition to being tired, is out of the gauntlet of forlornness we seem to come out with a degree of hope. Hope for a better day <at minimum> and maybe Hope for something better <at maximum>.

In other words, out of the bigness which seems to squeeze us, if but for a moment, we rummage through a sleepless night … one black and gusty and enormous, disordered and wild with stars … and come out a little less black, a little more calm, a little more ordered and a little more focused on some star.

==

“There are no secrets in life just truths that lie beneath the surface.”

–

Dexter

===

I love this quote. To me it seems to put a highlight on the inner struggle we seem to have between:

• trying to make life so ‘mysterious’, or convinced there is some invisible hand out of our control manipulating things, and (simultaneously)
• a lack of desire to control, or assume responsibility for, our own life.

I would suggest that at it’s harshest this is simply ‘shirking responsibility.’

Yeah.

Some people choose to call it destiny.

Sometimes people suggest it is “god’s will.’

Some people are comfortable calling it fate.

All of which imply there is some excuse to not doing things, or getting things, ot attaining thing in Life. All of which imply there is some secret to life that unless we are Sherlock Holmes we will never know or understand.

Its all bullshit.

The fact is that life is just truths ‘that lie beneath the surface.’

And if you are willing to hold your breath a little while and dip down under the surface you can see truth.

Ah.

But truth is a scary thing <particularly when it comes to Life from a personal perspective>.

It means recognizing strengths & weaknesses <real ones … not societal ones>.

It means recognizing perfections & flaws.

It means recognizing past failures and lies.

It means recognizing what is real hope and what is false hope <being truly realistic>.

It means recognizing that we have some limits to what will be <and limits vary at what point in Life you assess the boundaries>.

It means, well, there are no secrets, just some harsh truths which unlock Life.

Look. I imagine we all hide from some of the harsh truths and inevitably retreat into some layer of ‘self lie.’ And while it may not be out & out lying the fact is we adapt socially to maintain some façade of what we “wish we could be.”

Freud suggests that we have a “hidden self” lying in our subconscious that is often too much of a struggle for our conscious minds to handle. To me that’s kind of his version of ‘there are no secrets, just truths beneath the surface.” Now. Because of that we do some cognitive gymnastics creating defense mechanisms twisting reality just enough to create justification to ourselves for our behavior.

Freud <no matter what I may think about some of the wacky things he said> is correct.

We all have either a hidden self or aspects of our self we would rather ‘hide from’ just because we would rather not face them.

Part of our defense mechanism is creating these mysterious “secrets of life.’

Well.

Sorry, my friends, there is no real secret to Life. Just truths hidden below the surface, if you are willing to look … and face them. That means, uhm, the secrets of Life are actually found in truths. Maybe that’s not a secret to Life but rather a non-secret we simply do not want to face.

Ponder this new year. Maybe stop seeking some secret and seek truth and it will, well, set you free.