things people don’t say

—–

“I want to write a novel about Silence,” he said; “the things people don’t say.”

=

Virginia Woolf

–

—–

“I don’t broadcast every high & I don’t hide every low.

I’m trying to live.

I’m not trying to convince the world I have life.”

=

Unknown

—–

“Her eyes were rimmed with long nights and things she wishes she had said.”

=

Flowers In Bone Cages

—–

–

“Humans are easy to read, because what they’re not saying speaks volumes.”

=

Joel T. McGrath

—-

Ok.

This is not about things ‘not said’ … that would be about regrets and missed moments and shit like that … this is about selective silence.

When we select, or elect, to be silent … and the choice, and choices, we make with regard to ‘silent.’

In general I think we respect people of few words. We think of them as thoughtful and good listeners.

Me?

When I enjoy the company of those who do not say much … I wonder what battle is going on inside their heads.

And, no, not the battle to keep from speaking <those are different type of people>.

This is the battle of thoughts.

The battle that rages between all the words spoken and those not spoken … clashing to create a myriad of thoughts.

This is all about the words you finally debate in your mind on whether they are worth sharing or simply meant to be shelved somewhere in your mind or even discarded as junk.

This is all about the words which scream at the top of their lungs… but are not heard except in the head.

This is all about the words you smother because … well … some words are not meant to be spoken.

—–

“Some of the greatest battles will be fought within the silent chambers of your own soul.”

=

Erza Taft Benson

—

The mind can be a wonderful, and terrible, place. Within the best minds resides a tug of war where even words themselves stand at each end staring at each other pulling as hard as they can.

Use this word.

 
No.

Use THIS word.

And while those of us looking on who cannot see the battle inside sit & wait … we often think of the moment as a deliberate use of silent ‘space and time.’

Deliberately using silence to prompt those of us around to go further in thought.

Silly silly us.

Inside the silent resides the war.

I imagine at the essence of what I am discussing is my belief most people are not flippant with regard to how they use their words <I say this despite the fact we watch blathering mouths scattering words like confetti around a room>.

I do tend to believe most people speak with Salvatore Quasimodo in mind:

—-

In my voice

there is at least a sign

of living geometry

the words of life

I have never understood

—-

What make the battle more difficult is … well … the world around us.

It sometimes seems like the world is structurally hostile to nuance.

Subtlety doesn’t seem to be very effective these days.

The internet amplifies and facilitates a sense that we should think the worst of people <even ones we have never met> and to ignore any facts or context that may potentially eliminate the doubt or uncertainty.

Truth always seems just out of reach and yet being called a liar always seems close at hand.

People aren’t, in general, stupid.

Everyone knows how it works.

Refusing to speak means avoiding the fact that as soon as the words are spoken they begin winging their way across social media … where they inevitably seem to end up mutating into something simplistic and inflammatory therefore overshadowing not only anything else you may say … but also what you may have really said <or meant to say>.

This all leads to self-censorship and calculated blandness.

This all leads to the ‘should I speak’ battle inside the head raging even longer … where neither side wins. It remains a stalemate … and only silence wins.

—–

“… had their ideology combed over, examined, misinterpreted, rewritten and kicked to death a hundred times.

Talk about breaking a butterfly on a wheel.”

=

Steven Wells

————–

What happens when people become fearful of saying anything that might be misconstrued is that they … well … remain silent <when they SHOULD say something>.

And while it would be easy for me to say that the words you stop yourself from saying are the ones that will haunt you the longest … I also think most people really know this.

What is more difficult for us to maybe grasp is that the words they <other people> stop themselves from saying are actually the ones that will haunt us the longest.

Now.

I feel relatively confident suggesting that in today’s world the battle inside the head for what to say versus what not to say most often ends up in a place where silence wins because … well … that is why there seem to be so many more writers in today’s world.

 
And I mean writers as in diaries, blogs, tumblr, pinterest, any form of a journal or scribblings or words that capture what you may want to say … just not verbally out loud.

Words can battle on the page.

Words seem quieter on paper.

Words seem like they may go unnoticed <which a part of us actually wants>.

——–

“I am much better on paper.”

=

Jared M.

===

Anyway.

The best minds are very careful in what they say and do not say.

The best minds have some of the greatest battles <we will never see>.

Let’s be sure the best minds don’t let silence win those battles.