“You’re not like other girls.”
“Shut the fuck up … don’t ever compliment me by insulting other women. That’s not a compliment; it’s a competition none of us agreed to.”
This isn’t about society & women & standards <although I have written many times on that topic> this is about competitions we don’t agree to.
Many of us can go through life doing the best we can trying to get along and, in general, view most things in life as a journey and not some race and … well … sometimes people, things and society have a different view.
What this means is you are demanded to compete in some competition you really never agreed to.
Let me explain.
There are absolutely a bunch of people out there who define themselves by competition.
They seek to find validation & actualization through some comparison versus what others are doing <this, basically, is competition>.
And then there are people like me <I do not know how many there are of us but I imagine it is a fairly significant %>. While I like winning and, on occasion, a good competition gets the heart rate up and ‘ups my game’ the majority of the time I don’t view Life when I wake up and go to work as a competition with anyone and anything but myself.
I simply want to do good things, epic shit of possible, do the best I can and better than I did yesterday. I guess my competition is yesterday … not other people.
That said. I am not naïve. I know that everyday I wake up and go to work I am entering into ‘the Thunderdome’ and entering into some competition that I didn’t really agree to.
“Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.”
I don’t like it.
But I recognize it.
And, as often as I can, I avoid the competitions I don’t agree to.
By the way … if you google “how to deal with competitions you do not agree to” you will get zilch, zero, no results on that topic.
Ponder that for a second.
All that said.
This does mean that you receive compliments as well as criticisms based on competitions you didn’t agree to.
And that is aggravating.
It is like you are being judged by the Race Walking Olympic judges, with scores you don’t really care about, because you were just out jogging that day.
Day in and day out people who really do not want to compete, other than with their own standards, are faced with having to accommodate competition they didn’t agree to.
What a fucking pain in the ass.
And … I would point out … it sounds incredibly inefficient and time wasting.
I am not suggesting some competition isn’t bad. I am suggesting that we go fucking overboard with regard to ‘forcing competition’ into all threads of Life & society & culture.
I do believe it is healthy for young people to understand that in competition some people win and some people lose and that some people get trophies and not everyone gets one <although getting a trophy is not all there is to success & Life>.
I do believe it is healthy in youth to understand that some people are smarter than others, that some have skills you don’t have and that some people more easily learn some things than you do.
I do believe it is healthy for young people to learn how to compete and that competition can be healthy.
But at some point I think it would be good for society & culture to either turn that switch off or maybe learn how to turn on the dimmer switch because I think part of being an adult is knowing what you are good at and what you may not be good at and deciding for yourself <some would call that personal responsibility> how you want to achieve the best version of yourself.
I am not convinced that society, and business, creating some false versions of competition which almost encourages me to compete in some competition I really didn’t agree to, let alone really want to compete, is a good thing.
I tend to believe people like me think our competition is harsher and more challenging than any competition society can create for me and because of that I tend to want to dismiss outside competitions.
That choice is fraught with peril.
Suffice it to say … just knowing that there is peril in not wanting to compete in some competition I didn’t even agree to is aggravating.
But that is the world we currently live in.