Enlightened Conflict

what did we do before Life Coaching?

January 15th, 2013

“… life coaching is quickly becoming one of the leading tools that successful people use to live extraordinary lives.” – some Life coach

“WTF.” – Bruce

So.

I just received an email advertisement for “new year, new you” life coaching.

Call me naive … call me cynical … call me whatever you want … but what did we do before we had “professional” coaches for Life?

Oh.

And is there a minor league in Life that coaches coach in where they accumulate a win/loss record and then eventually get hired in the Life major leagues to coach?

<that was sarcasm for the folks who didn’t get it>

Anyway.

Life coaches are claiming … “coaching is quickly becoming one of the leading tools that successful people use to live extraordinary lives.”

I did some research and most Life coaches believe “having a life you love starts with gaining clarity on your values, enabling more meaningful choices and consistent action.”

Well.

I may take issue with some of those things. Or maybe I would debate the prioritization in the hierarchy of Life needs. Or maybe I will just scratch my head and say “WTF” again.

Anyway.

Apparently <part 1>… through these intense workouts … these coaching sessions … people <oops … clients> identify what is most important to them and align their thoughts, words, and actions, accordingly with the help of this Life coach.

The coach works with you to identify what you want personally and professionally. And even better?  They support you in achieving a life that you really want and love <gosh … they better … don’t you think? … didn’t they just help you ‘align your thoughts, words & actions’?>.

Apparently <part 2> If you hire a Life coach … your commitment to your life through coaching offers a means for more balance, joy, intimacy, energy, financial abundance, focus, and action in every area of your life.

<sign me up>

Look.

I am sure <relatively> that most Life coaches mean well. And in some cases they may actually help. But before we had Life coaches <who we have to pay I assume> it seems like most of us schmucks had to do with 2 basic things:

  1. Friends. I don’t know about everyone else but I probably have a long line of friends just chomping at the bit to give me some ‘life coaching’ if I gave them the opportunity. Are they professional Life coaches? Heck. I don’t know. It seems to me most of us are not amateurs at living life. Life plays a pretty tough game with everyone <at least it seems to me>. I am not sure what makes a Life coach more qualified at Life than anyone else … but regardless … talk to enough of your friends and inevitably they will ‘coach’ you <whether you actually want it or not> … and most likely it is shit you already know in your own head. You just need to hear it out loud maybe for affirmation or maybe simply because an expert is always someone in another town <or in another head>.

All that said … if a Life coach takes payment in a cold beer at my favorite bar maybe I would hire one … until then? I will submit myself to the painful <but typically useful> coaching from my own friends.

  1. A mirror. I am fairly sure just about everyone has a mirror in their bathroom which pretty much insures you gotta stare at your mug every morning. Maybe even every night before you go to bed. Now. That life coach staring back at you in the mirror doesn’t always say “and, dammit, people like me!” but it is a fairly good judge of character & actions. And, frankly, most of the time that face in the mirror, just like your friends, knows the truth … and what is the right thing to do <or just simply what to do>… it is more about actually doing it.

All that said … I am not sure there is a more painful & harsh discussion then when you take a moment and ask the person in the mirror ‘what the fuck am I doing with my Life?” … but I have to tell ya … no matter how painful that discussion is … it is best made with yourself.

So.

I get financial planners <not everyone is good with money/finance and these experts actually have expertise>.

I get professional therapists <they got snazzy diplomas hanging on their walls and they actually have studied how to help us schmucks>.

I even get landscape ‘coaches’ <they know how to keep plants alive and actually makes things look better>.

I just don’t get “Life coaches.”

As I started with … WTF.

As in “why the fuck would I want someone else tell me, excuse me, coach me, on how to live my life?”

I hated it when my parents tried it out on me when I was a kid and I certainly doubt I would feel any differently now.

Now.

If we start talking about Yoda as a Life coach?

I will be first in line to learn the Force.

Until then?

May the Force be with you <in your life without a Life Coach>.

Comments

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  • Sherry Prindle says on: November 17, 2013 at 10:22 am

     

    Any life coach that is not like Yoda but gives you the kind of advice you get from friends or the mirror is definitely one to avoid. Your friends and your mirror are influenced by an internal survival mechanism that is designed to keep you the same because that is safe.

    Life coaches are NOT experts on life. They DO NOT EVER give you advice on what you should do. They are someone outside of you and your present circumstances that will listen and hold you accountable, and break thoughts into actions.

    There is no TRY, only DO!

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