So.
Other’s doubt.
Look.
There is a big <huge> difference between self doubt and the quiet persistence of doubt found within other people’s whispers.
Let’s call this external doubt.
They don’t have to shout it. (but it can be shouted)
It can be a word someone slips in to something they say to you. (or it can be whole paragraphs)
It can be a throwaway sentence from someone (just thrown out without feeling its depth by the person saying it).
You’ve probably been there.
You want to do … something. Anything. Just go forward. You have this building enthusiasm to go “do.”
Then you find out that your parents, friends, and people who care for you <these are the most personal> or business associates question what you want to do.
Uhm.
“Question.” Let’s say they are politely doubting you and what you want to do.
Their doubt can be driven by a variety of things.
It may be real worry about your future.
It may be something absolutely nothing to do with you.
But.
Unfortunately … what this means is … unbeknownst to you … others have created demons for you.
———
“Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”
Shel Silverstein
———
Look.
Everyone is entitled to have their own thoughts whether they say they don’t believe in you <or your ideas> or not.
That’s cool.
And as a matter of fact that’s life.
Life is all about being caught inbetween the fact you believe what you believe to be true … and they believe what they believe to be true.
And sometimes it is easier to just tell yourself “so what … that’s their opinion” and walk away and go do something … then try and convince them otherwise.
But. Back to the ‘created demons’ thing.
External doubt is a tough one.
It may be even tougher then self doubt.
Because mainly because you cannot really control it <even if you are successful>. Inevitably there is always someone somewhere who no matter how brilliant the idea is who will inevitably find something negative.
They can be really creative in doing so. They use factoids and statistics … they can use ignorance … they can use personal beliefs. And the really tricky ones are the most loved ones.
Unfortunately parents often fall into this category. They mean well because they just want you to be successful. But depending on your age they elect to shovel the semi-truth factoid shit at you <okay … it doesn’t really matter on their age> they are your parents and even though not using the word ‘doubt’ they are doubting you can do what you are thinking you want to do.
Believing in something you want to do or believing in yourself when there are external doubts <or doubters> is tough.
It’s like a kick in the gut.
It’s deflating.
And maybe even more concerning … it can be tiring, emotionally and physically, and lonely <even though not everyone externally may doubt you those few can still isolates you slightly>.
But.
Somehow you put the Kevlar vest on and take the bullets and move on.
I guess at some point you just need to figure out what insulates you from external doubt crap and move <because … frankly & pragmatically … if you move … you are more difficult to be hit by doubts>. At some point you need to see your vision so crystal clear that you’ll laugh off the external doubters.
Or even you cannot laugh at least you are moving toward something so maybe you can just ignore them.
Because external doubt can slow you down like barnacles on a ship.
Moving forward.
Going.
Movement.
I admit. This next quote is about me. It fits my personality:
——–
“The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it but that it is too low and we reach it.”
Michelangelo
——-
I love this quote. It is a reminder to me that sometimes getting what you want isn’t really what you want. Look. I understand that some people like to reach some goals because it shows progress. I am not one of those people. I like aiming high and hoping someday I can attain it and constantly working toward that objective.
To work your way through external doubt you gotta figure out your path. Mine may work for you. Small goals may work for you. Doesn’t matter. Every time you do one more of what works for you the external doubts have less and less credibility.
In the end I guess I could suggest (and I believe the psychologist world would probably say this) but it comes down to proving it to yourself. And that cannot happen if you are frozen and not moving. Cause it doesn’t matter how many people will tell you that you can’t make it or do something that you have your sights on. It really only matters what you believe and what you do.
Yeah.
It’s on you.
You prove to yourself first and let all the other stuff just happen.
But.
It is a damn good motivator to get some revenge on the people who say you couldn’t <or subtly suggested you couldn’t> by doing it.
External doubt is just one of the hurdles life throws at us.
Even if you don’t want be a hurdler you still have to figure out how to navigate them.
There is no sense bitching that there are hurdles.
Just get going and start the race.