reach for the nearest platitude
====
“In a desperately awkward situation we reach for the nearest platitude. “
Michael Lipsey
===
“Platitude: an idea (a) that is admitted to be true by everyone, and (b) that is not true.”
H. L. Mencken
===
“It is becoming clear that the old platitudes can no longer be maintained, and that if we wish to improve our morals, we must first improve our knowledge.”
Havelock Ellis
===
I imagine we have all been in a situation which demands you to say something. Empty spaces almost demand you to step forward with a word or two and, well, say something. Unfortunately, that ‘something’ often shifts toward ‘anything’ and not all empty spaces are created equal. What I mean by that is the worst empty spaces are those awkward situations where you begin scrambling for any word(s) to fill up that space, i.e., “say anything” which leads to some awkwardness.
Which leads me to awkward.
Awkward, bungling, inept and even ungainly are all words which refer to actions lacking in skill or grace or even to the faulty results of such actions. Yeah. We just become mentally clumsy in these situations. ‘Clumsy’ meaning a halting or imprecise action and having a propensity for making mistakes with all the impending uncomfortable results that coincide with your clumsiness. That said. Let’s just say awkward is proportionately less bad than pure mental clumsiness and emotionally it is tied more to a state of mind, being unnerved, than clumsy <which is tied more to physical>. From there we bring in inept which suggests you never find the right word and ungainly which suggests a lack of grace which reflects many of us as we scramble for a word or phrase (source: Hayakawa).
Which leads me to scrambling.
Scrambling leads to all the above adjectives/descriptors. Because when we scramble most of us do it out loud; rambling along until we find some safe space. Sure. Some people do it silently <hoping like hell some words arrive before the appropriate time passes>, but most people just punt by, well, offering the ‘nearest platitude.’ And maybe it is within the scrambling itself that we separate the amateurs from the professionals – the inept-inclined from the skilled-inclined. Or as the U.S. Navy SEALs say, the people who can “get comfortable being uncomfortable.” The problem is awkward situations make amateurs of many of us and caught off guard we, well, get into our own head. What I mean by that is dig around for “the phrase that pays,” i.e., something to deploy against the quiet space demanding you to say something.
==
“You’re told that you’re in your head too much, a phrase that’s often deployed against the quiet and cerebral. Or maybe there’s another word for such people: thinkers.”
Susan Cain
====
All the while you struggle to stay focused on what needs to be accomplished … struggling because awkward situations make you feel uncomfortable and you are desperately seeking to get out of the discomfort zone and into the comfort zone.
Yeah. I just said that. I point it out because some asshat is going to come along and say something trite like “remember, it’s a good thing to feel uncomfortable … it means you’re moving forward and exploring new territory.” Yeah. Well. Let me point out that not all uncomfortable is created equal and not all exploration is meaningful. Awkward situations are often situations of survival. And if that sounds dramatic I meant it to. In business, more often than not, success is a battle of attrition – survive and advance. Die and done. And while survival in an awkward situation is always a tricky thing in business … all that scrambling around in your head <thinking as it is sometime called> is compounded by a belief you need to … well … not die.
Which leads me back to platitudes.
Most platitudes are played simply for survival.
- They sound stupid <sometimes>.
- They sound hollow intellectually <often>.
- They sound meaningless <because more often than not they are>.
- They sound like you had nothing better to offer <which is true>
Uhm. They also permit you to play another day.
Even the best of the best get caught with no words in an awkward situation. And even the best of the best will offer a platitude in an awkward situation.
Look. The business world seems slightly more unforgiving today than it has been in the past.
Far too often being caught in an awkward situation and not offering the right words, or simply offering a platitude, brands you as someone who “cannot think on their feet.”
What bullshit.
Certainly … if you are consistently inept in an awkward situation … you are inept.
Certainly … if you are consistently ungainly in an awkward situation … you lack grace.
Certainly … if you are consistently clumsy in an awkward situation … you are clumsy.
But no one has the right words all the time in every awkward situation. And there are worse things than offering a platitude when scrambling for something to say like, for example, making shit up. But making shit up is a thought for another day. Today? Suffice it to say it never hurts to have a platitude handy for an awkward situation when you just cannot think of anything, or the right thing, to say. Ponder.
===
“My body is a parlor trick called survival.”
Jayy Dodd
===
de5a89