=================

“A boss creates fear, a leader confidence.

A boss fixes blame, a leader corrects mistakes.

 A boss knows all, a leader asks questions.

A boss makes work drudgery, a leader makes it interesting.

A boss is interested in himself or herself, a leader is interested in the group.”

—–

Russell H. Ewing

===============

This is not about threatening employees about making mistakes <i.e., ”you are gonna get fired if you fuck this up”>, but rather threatening employees who are exhibiting behavior that isn’t what you want from them. This is also less a thought about managing individuals, but more about managing a culture and groups of individuals – exploring systemic behavior issues.

Now. I have to tell you.

Having managed a shitload of people there has certainly been some point where I wanted to threaten my employees if not just strangle them <and I am sure the feeling was mutual on occasion>. Most of us just take a deep breath. Maybe close the door of their office and throw something. And then calm down enough to realize that most employees’ actions & behaviors are derivative of our own leadership.

As a corollary to that thought, if the actions & behaviors reflect a more systemic issue and not just some random individuals, well, you know it is reflective of your own leadership <or lack of leadership>.

Ah … “most of us.” Well. Not “all of us.”

Management by fear is the go-to tactic of the old generation of business leaders. They were also the ‘benevolent dictators’ <sort of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Men of Hitlers> as well as the dickheads who treated everyone like shit except the ones who did exactly what they were told to do.

Once again, about the only business people who believe in this type of management are:

<1> those who have never run a larger organization which demands cultural alignment for effectiveness,

<2> managers over the age of 55 — mostly white ones,

<3> weak leaders, or

<4> narcissistic arrogant dickheads.

=========== 

“I suppose that leadership at one time meant muscle; but today it means getting along with people.

Indira Gandhi

============

Threatening employees with forced confidentiality agreements, law suits, sweeping statements of firing a shitload of people, and even “you are either with me or against me” type threats is not only stupid but it is less than effective.

That doesn’t encourage the best behavior, which is self-motivated, but rather all this does is create ‘forced behavior.’ Now. I am no behavior expert, but even I know if I am forcing a certain type of behavior and, ultimately, that behavior is never absorbed as ‘self-affirmation of what I believe and like”, well, the first chance an employee gets to ‘unforce themselves’ they are gonna do it.

Here is what most of the good leaders know.

You can never, and I mean never, absolve yourself of the behaviors of your employees. You are either complicit or encouraged or simply an enabler. You are, whether you like it or not, responsible for your employee’s actions.

What does that mean?

If they do things that piss you off you, most likely, have pissed them off.

If they show you little respect, you, most likely, have shown them little respect.

If they show you lack of loyalty, you, most likely, have not earned their loyalty or shown behavior that deserves loyalty.

If you do not recognize anything I just wrote as truth, you, most likely, just threaten your employees every time they do something you don’t like.

Look.

I have absolutely talked to an individual employee about their expense reports.

I have absolutely spoken to an individual employee about their behavior in the office.

I have absolutely sat down with an individual employee about what they should, or should not, be saying to people outside the office.

But, more importantly, I talk with the accounting department, the HR department and department heads to find out about what the organization is systemically doing with their expense reports, behavior in the office and talking outside the office before I speak with any individual.

I don’t think I was a particularly great leader, but even I knew that systemic behavioral issues were my issues — not their issues. I also understand that threatening employees, or even the trite ‘carrot & stick’ thinking, was ineffective if you wanted to build a culture where individual employees didn’t cheat on their expense reports, didn’t do stupid shit in the office and didn’t say the wrong things about the company outside the office.

A leader knows threats are stupid if you have any desire to build a long term culture. You set expectations, provide a vision that people can be proud of and the reward is not anything individual monetarily or even ‘keeping your job’ but rather the employee looks around and sees solidarity – the prize is being part of a team aligned on an objective.

Some leaders don’t see that. All they see is bad behavior and offer threats to seal the cracks in the system. All that does is mask the problem not solve the problem. All that solves systemic organizational bad behavior is good leadership — not threats.

Fear, despite what some may suggest, is not a particularly great motivator in business.

—————

“And the nights, bigger than imagining: black and gusty and enormous, disordered and wild with stars.”

—–

Donna Tartt 

=============== 

“This is the way the world ends

Not with a bang but a whimper.”

―

T.S. Eliot

==========

Well. Despite the fact most nights remain the same amount of hours, minutes and seconds day to day, a sleepless night can often look bigger than imagined. I have found that sleepless nights are less about restless minds and more about capacity in a squeezed space.

Huh?

Let me tackle squeezed first.

In general the world is a pretty vast place and our lives can seem fairly inconsequential.

The good news about this is that within all that vastness there is a lot of room to let some of the more horrible or horribly mundane crap just slip by.

The bad news occurs when all of a sudden Life, and the world, shrinks and you feel squeezed. And this can happen a lot easier than one may think.

Ponder what I am going to say as “the big squeeze.”

Everyday everyone faces some naturally occurring ‘shrinking’ aspects which in and of themselves can’t shrink your Life enough to matter. Let’s just say this is the daily grind of work, chores and family & Life commitments. Some things go well and some things don’t.

And then, of course, there will be a day or two where the things that “don’t” significantly outnumber the things that “do.” because this is day to day shit I view this as getting squeezed from the sides. They kind of suffocate you a little.

But set that aside for a moment.

And then there will be some days where you have that ad hoc shit you have to plan to get done — the faucet is dripping, the car engine light is on, someone hit the mailbox, crap like that. 95% of the time this kind of shit never goes as planned. It takes too long or it doesn’t get done right the first time or … well … suffice it to say … the easy stuff never gets done as easily as you would want.

And then, of course, there will be a day or two where the things that never get done as easily as you want actually end up just not going right. This is stupid little shit … but maybe think about it as maybe getting squeezed from underneath – an unexpected aggravating shift on the ground below you.

But set that aside for a moment.

And then there will be some days where you turn on the TV or maybe scan the internet news breaks and … well … some shit has hit the fan. Your country has made some monumental decision that seems to shift its place in the world.

Some nutjob terrorist has committed some heinous act to innocent people.

Some “thing” happens that feel like a shift in the bedrock of ‘what is.’ It may not directly affect you but you sense that it is a monumental thing which will most likely affect you <even though you aren’t sure how yet>. This is big shit … this just makes you feel a little like the weight of the world has gotten a little heavier and the world as you have known it has become a little murkier. You are getting squeezed from above.

But set that aside for a moment.

Now. I will now get to capacity.

Let’s assume on one day all there of things happen … you get squeezed all on one day. Oddly, this becomes a test of your capacity <which implies largeness>. And, yes, maybe it is about largeness. As in how large you can remain as you get squeezed.

Some nights it isn’t easy to not get suffocated.

Other nights you find your capacity and push back a little.

Most nights you find just enough largeness to not get, well, too little.

But the nights in which all three aspects I outlined squeezed you I would suggest the word ‘forlorn’ comes to mind. 

====================

“Oft hope is born when all is forlorn.”

J.R.R. Tolkien

=============

I use forlorn because I associate it with capacity as I am discussing it today. Forlorn has a sense of shrinking to it in that the good in Life seems to shrink and that which is bad seems to grow and you are left with that wretched forlorn feeling which dogs you throughout a sleepless night. Forlorn seems like it is more appropriate than lonely or lonesome in that it specifically embraces a senses of wretchedness and desertion or abandonment … in my mind … ‘despairing of the arrival of a friend … in this case … a friend called Hope.”

To me all of what I just shared with regard to squeezing and capacity captures the essence of the worst of the worst sleepless nights. And, if I were a betting man, I would bet we have all had a few of these.

Ok. Here is what I know.

Most of us get through these nights. Despite the vast emptiness of a night, more vast than we imagined it should be, we cast about among the chaos of the stars and find some light. I like to think of it as we clamber through the clouds and exist.

===============

“I will clamber through the clouds and exist.”

John Keats

==============

And the outcome of most of these nights, in addition to being tired, is out of the gauntlet of forlornness we seem to come out with a degree of hope. Hope for a better day <at minimum> and maybe Hope for something better <at maximum>.

In other words, out of the bigness which seems to squeeze us, if but for a moment, we rummage through a sleepless night … one black and gusty and enormous, disordered and wild with stars … and come out a little less black, a little more calm, a little more ordered and a little more focused on some star.

==

“There are no secrets in life just truths that lie beneath the surface.”

–

Dexter

===

I love this quote. To me it seems to put a highlight on the inner struggle we seem to have between:

• trying to make life so ‘mysterious’, or convinced there is some invisible hand out of our control manipulating things, and (simultaneously)
• a lack of desire to control, or assume responsibility for, our own life.

I would suggest that at it’s harshest this is simply ‘shirking responsibility.’

Yeah.

Some people choose to call it destiny.

Sometimes people suggest it is “god’s will.’

Some people are comfortable calling it fate.

All of which imply there is some excuse to not doing things, or getting things, ot attaining thing in Life. All of which imply there is some secret to life that unless we are Sherlock Holmes we will never know or understand.

Its all bullshit.

The fact is that life is just truths ‘that lie beneath the surface.’

And if you are willing to hold your breath a little while and dip down under the surface you can see truth.

Ah.

But truth is a scary thing <particularly when it comes to Life from a personal perspective>.

It means recognizing strengths & weaknesses <real ones … not societal ones>.

It means recognizing perfections & flaws.

It means recognizing past failures and lies.

It means recognizing what is real hope and what is false hope <being truly realistic>.

It means recognizing that we have some limits to what will be <and limits vary at what point in Life you assess the boundaries>.

It means, well, there are no secrets, just some harsh truths which unlock Life.

Look. I imagine we all hide from some of the harsh truths and inevitably retreat into some layer of ‘self lie.’ And while it may not be out & out lying the fact is we adapt socially to maintain some façade of what we “wish we could be.”

Freud suggests that we have a “hidden self” lying in our subconscious that is often too much of a struggle for our conscious minds to handle. To me that’s kind of his version of ‘there are no secrets, just truths beneath the surface.” Now. Because of that we do some cognitive gymnastics creating defense mechanisms twisting reality just enough to create justification to ourselves for our behavior.

Freud <no matter what I may think about some of the wacky things he said> is correct.

We all have either a hidden self or aspects of our self we would rather ‘hide from’ just because we would rather not face them.

Part of our defense mechanism is creating these mysterious “secrets of life.’

Well.

Sorry, my friends, there is no real secret to Life. Just truths hidden below the surface, if you are willing to look … and face them. That means, uhm, the secrets of Life are actually found in truths. Maybe that’s not a secret to Life but rather a non-secret we simply do not want to face.

Ponder this new year. Maybe stop seeking some secret and seek truth and it will, well, set you free.

—–

“I think as you grow older your Christmas list gets smaller and the things you really want for the holidays can’t be bought.”

=

(via hefuckin)

—–

Merry Christmas. Well. It’s scary how true this quote is.

Christmas sometimes seems simpler when thinking about the past. But it most likely wasn’t. It is just when young your list was long filled with things you wanted and the list was, well, a clear cut black & white list.

Today? Beyond the fact an ‘adult list’ is shorter … it sometimes seems like Christmas has descended into a trashy, crass, excessive, shallow <or hollow>, lighted plastic capitalistic driven spectacle. From a broader perspective Christmas has become a ‘retail event’ from which a lot of people step back from the joy of giving and assess the economy <not happiness>.

Yet. From a purely economic perspective Christmas spending is an inefficient way to drive growth. In 1993 an economist named Joel Waldfogel described what he called the “deadweight loss of Christmas” which is the concept of the fact that everybody pays too much for what nobody wants.

Anyway. But when you get past all that cynical pragmatic crap you see lots of the things you really want for the holidays which can’t be bought. The raw, non corporate branded, humane, caring and kind things.

————–

Dorey Walker: I don’t think that there’s any harm in not believing in a figure that many do acknowledge to be a fiction.

Kris Kringle: Oh, but there is. I’m not just a whimsical figure who wears a charming suit and affects a jolly demeanor. You know, I… I… I’m a symbol. I’m a symbol of the human ability to be able to suppress the selfish and hateful tendencies that rule the major part of our lives. If… you can’t believe, if you can’t accept anything on faith, then you’re doomed for a life dominated by doubt.”

Miracle on 34th Street – 1947

—————

Let’s call them ‘the little big things.’

I reflect on this thought knowing that gifts have never mattered to me even when I was really young. But that doesn’t mean I ‘got’ Christmas. I imagine, at my best, it was just an event where you were able to develop thoughtful lists which expressed something beyond simply ‘giving a gift.’ This elevated me above Scrooge status, but never really elevated me to an ‘understanding what Christmas was really all about’ status.

Today? Well. As usual. I am a work in progress. But I do see my list shrinking and I seem to get closer to one thing. One idea. Hope.

I think many people may treat the event & time as a gift giving occasion or a time to gather or even a time to reflect … but I am beginning to think Christmas offers a glimmer of ‘what could be’ more than anything else. Sometimes it may simply be a small glimmer but it is …well … a glimmer.

A small piece of hope for the future.

A small spotlight on when hope appeared in the past year or so.

And while context matters, in that whatever is happening in the world around us, I tend to think regardless of the context as we get older our lists get smaller because we get closer to the one thing that really matters. This also means that the closer you get to that one thing the less important all the other things become.

Oh. I also began to realize that if I am only to give one gift to the people I know it is to insure they see Hope even if it is for but one minute. This is not to suggest I believe I can make anyone actually believe in Hope.

You cannot.

However, I do believe you can show that Hope is there … possible … and attainable <in some form or fashion>.

It can be found in taking one minute to show a young employee that the best version of whatever they can be is attainable.

It can be found in taking one minute to tell a good friend that the dark<er> bridge they are walking on does have an end <and there is good solid ground with some grass & trees on it to stand on>.

It can be found in taking one minute to hand that homeless person you have seen for the last 11 months standing there at the corner a $10 bill instead of a $1 bill <and say ‘I hope it gets better’ … uhm … when do you think is the last time they have heard a stranger say they have hope for them??>.

None of those things have really cost me a thing, and I have given one little gift that I doubt was on their list of ‘what I want this Christmas.’

Just think about it.

Ok. Beyond Hope and believing and speaking of big … and small … let me shift to “the big man”. Santa Claus himself.

It’s a small thing … but believing in Santa Claus is important. It creates a smallish type hope that good resides and visits everyone. And, yes, the best example of this is “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.” And, yet, there continue to be millions who not only doubt Santa Claus … they deny his existence. They are called Santa deniers <and it is called Santa Denial>.

Silly people.

I say that because a writer recently took on Santa denial quite well. And this writer offers us a great reminder why we should believe in Santa Claus:

=

Addressing Santa Denial:

Santa-denial has existed for far too long and I cannot understand how Santa deniers are allowed to promote their views. Why are these people tolerated in today’s modern media?  Science has long shown that Santa Claus is real, and those who claim otherwise are invariably in the pocket of the big toy companies, who don’t want people thinking they can get free playthings and so will pay for their products.

But the evidence is beyond any reasonable doubt, and the arguments of the Santa deniers have been repeatedly debunked. But, just to refresh your memory, here are some of the more typical ones and why they’re wrong:

===

If Santa has a workshop at the north pole, why has nobody ever seen it?

Santa’s workshop is located in a very snowy region that very few people can access, so it’s unlikely that many people would get to see it. It would theoretically be possible to view it from above, via an aircraft or satellite in a polar orbit, but what would Santa’s workshop look like from this perspective? A snow-covered building on a background of ice and snow? That’s basically just blank whiteness. And infrared scans can be tricky with snow. It’s a fallacy to assume that something isn’t there because you haven’t seen it. You can’t see oxygen either, but try denying that it exists and see how far you get.

=

How can a human survive prolonged periods in sub-zero conditions?

Santa has several features and properties clearly adapted for cold weather survival. His large girth and dense beard and hair are obviously meant for insulation, in the manner of polar bears. Of course, enduring below-freezing temperatures for months on end requires a lot of calories for a warm-blooded mammal, hence Santa needs to get through millions of mince pies and glasses of milk in one evening; he’s building up resources for another frosty year.

How is it possible for a sleigh with millions of toys in it, pulled by reindeer, to fly?

Admittedly, the whole “flying reindeer” thing does seem very far-fetched, and this is a fair accusation. Investigations suggest that the flying reindeer image is a distortion of the truth, in that reindeer are native to the Arctic so Santa may well keep reindeer on his premises and perhaps they did pull his sleigh originally. But there is substantial evidence now to suggest that Santa powers his sled with the energy obtained from a precisely controlled quantum singularity.

Basically, Santa has access to a small black hole, which he uses to perform his duties. It’s likely that a miniature black hole struck Earth at some point in the past (don’t worry, this wouldn’t have been as disastrous as many think). Some argue that it came down in the arctic regions, hence its discoverer (Santa Claus) built his workshop on top of it. A black hole singularity can provide a lot of power, so this is the most likely explanation for the energy consumption of a busy workshop.

Once a year, Santa fits the singularity to his vehicle and uses it to travel the world. Black holes have exotic properties that allow them to distort space and gravity, so traveling with millions of toys in a confined space won’t be as impractical as it would be under normal spacetime rules.

=

It’s impossible to visit every child on Earth in a single night!

You’d think so, but remember the singularity mentioned above? They distort time too. The time period might feel like months for Santa in his own personal gravity well, but it’s mere minutes to anyone observing from the outside.

So, regardless, How can Santa keep track of every child being naughty or nice? As uncomfortable to realize as it may be, Santa’s approach hasn’t always been the most rational. It is traditional for every child to send Santa a gift list they have written themselves, so in the old days Santa was able to use the questionable science of handwriting analysis to determine who had less-than-pleasant personality traits (along with some educated guesswork based on the list itself; a child who asks for live scorpions or chainsaws is likely to have suspect motivations).

However, with the arrival of the internet and surveillance culture, it’s relatively easy to keep track of everyone. Especially if you’re a powerful industrialist like Santa.

=====

Why does Santa deliver toys and items with the branding of corporations?

Outsourcing!

Duh.

Plus, most children these days ask for specific items made by corporations, who jealously protect their copyrights by legal means. So either Santa sources the toy from the original makers, or the child goes without.

Is that what you want, Santa deniers? Children waking up empty-handed on Christmas morning? Despicable!

===

Why are there so many Santas in shops and grottos?

Those aren’t all Santa. They’re men in costumes. How gullible are you?

===

<note: If you still deny there is someone called Santa Claus … well … you have no soul>

<source: a delightful writer named Dean Burnett >

————

And, everyone, please have a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

—

“Now to escape involves not just running away, but arriving somewhere.”

===

Bernhard Schlink

————————

“Be still. Stillness reveals the secrets of eternity.”

====

Lao Tzu

——————-

I could be a real jerk and say that people should stand their ground more often rather than flee <run away>.

But I won’t.

I won’t because all of us have run away from something at some point in our lives.

Yeah.

Pick your poison but we have run away from it.

However.

Where we get running away wrong <90+% of the time> is that we just flee with no destination or ‘somewhere’ in mind. We simply run ‘away.’ And in doing so we run … well … nowhere in particular. We end up ‘away’, but no closer to arriving at some meaningful destination.

I will never advocate not running away. I simply suggest that if you do run away you should actually attempt to arrive somewhere.

This distinction may actually be the difference between panic and thoughtful retreat.

It may also be the difference between lack of clarity and clarity in a stressful situation.

It may also be the difference between successful people and less successful people.

That said. I will admit.

Maybe 80% of the time we run away we should remain and be still. Because stillness, more often than not, reveals the secret to survival. Survival in the moment, but it also reveals knowledge you can use for eternity. Running away deprives you of that knowledge. However, while I flippantly tossed out the 80% number, I will warn you that the 20% of the times you SHOULD run away look an awful lot like the 80% of the times you should stay and remain still.

Therein lies Life’s dilemma with regard to fleeing. Stillness can give you extraordinary knowledge and could just as well kill you.

So lies the coin flips in Life.

Regardless.

Here is the real reason why running away to somewhere matters.

If you run to nowhere you are … well … nowhere <from a personal growth standpoint>.

If you run to somewhere you grow a little, and inevitably you return taller.

=====

“I will come back to you, I swear I will;

And you will know me still.

I shall be only a little taller

Than when I went.”

Edna St. Vincent Millay

=====

Look. We all run away from shit.

It can be fear … it can be pain … it can be a person .. it can simply be the unknown … but we all run away. Accept that. And at the same time make a conscious effort to insure you arrive somewhere when you run. That is the trick to running away.

―

“You know, sometimes in life you can get kinda stuck and you feel like you should have changed chapters by now, but you can’t.”

==

Wish I Was Here <Aidan>

——————-

So. There are ruts … and then there is just being stuck. They are significantly different.

………………………………….. RUT

Getting in a rut is sliding down the slippery slope of the everyday grind of Life.

You simply fall into a space where day in and day out you are checking shit off your list and justifying the relatively unsatisfying Life space you are in by showing everyone, and yourself, the list of things you have checked off.

Getting stuck is a more frustrating Life situation.

This is where you know you are not where you want to be and doing things you don’t really want to do and … well … you are stuck. You have shit on your list or at least one important thing on your list, which you want to do, but day in and day out you look at your list and that little nasty shit of a thing never gets checked. And, what is worse, you know you are stuck usually in two ways:

Your own head.

In your mind you may not recognize it for a while … but then it hits you … I am not moving. I am stuck.

This sucks.

Others around you.

You may not recognize it for a while because you feel like you are moving, and you may actually be moving, but then it hits you … everyone else is moving faster. Life, which often looks blurry in the midst of all the shit you want to do, now looks clearer but everyone around you looks blurry. They are moving and you are not. You are stuck.

This sucks.

Suffice it to say … getting stuck sucks.

And getting stuck happens all the time with everyone.

You have most of your shit together.

You know what you want.

You know what it takes to get what you want.

You probably even know the path to getting what you want.

And, even with all that, you are stuck.

Yup.

That sucks.

But here is the worst aspect of being “stuck.”

More often than not when you get stuck you will find that you are, well, between who you are and who you want to be.

You know there is a better version of you, but you are stuck being the current version of you. It may not be a bad version, it may not even be a sucky version, you just know there is a better version.

That sucks.

Anyway.

Ruts are actually relatively easy to get out of. Ruts, more often than not, occur because you permit them to happen … so you just have to stop permitting it to happen.

Getting stuck is usually really difficult to get out of. Stuck, more often than not, occurs DESPITE the fact you are doing whatever you can to not permit it to happen.

If you google “get unstuck” you will get over 200,000 results in .48 seconds. The majority of those results are about ‘changing attitudes’ or ‘simple techniques to get unstuck’ or even ‘breaking habitual patterns.’

Most likely none of this online shit will help you. Mostly because the advice is more about getting out of a rut and not about getting unstuck.

But I would also suggest there ain’t a shitload of advice because … well … getting unstuck is difficult, there are no ‘simple techniques’ and your ‘stuck’ is most likely contextual & situational.

Being stuck is frustrating. Sometimes even maddening. And sometimes it makes you angry. Yeah. It sucks.

I don’t have some secret to share about how to get unstuck. All I know is that it sucks, it feels sucky, and you have to sometimes suck it up and be creative in your pursuit of what you want to get unstuck.

Oh. The other thing to keep in mind.

The opening quote says you feel like you should have changed chapters by now, but you can’t.”

Remember.

The “can’t” is just for now.

You may beat your head against some wall for awhile but eventually people who get stuck get unstuck.

That is because, unlike the whole rut situation, you are aware of what is <frustratingly> happening and you want more and you know what you want <and being stuck ain’t it>.

Trust me.

Getting unstuck rarely happens as fast as you want it to, but, I will say that people who get stuck, well, 99% of the time figure out how to get unstuck. So while getting stuck sucks, the majority of us know how to get unstuck.

================

“liberty, equality, fraternity.“

——-

 “liberty and justice for all.”

==================

So. I just spoke with a good friend in France and we ended up discussing politics. Ok. Not politics, per se, but rather how politics is conducted and how the ones trying to get elected tell everyone not to be confused on the issues … then proceed to tell everyone shit that confuses the real issues <and us> … and then people who are, in general, confused about what the people they are voting for really stand on some issues as they duel each other with tactics <but smear each other with overarching lies>. 

That is par for the course in every election these days.

Someone can be called racist … and they are not.

Someone can be claimed to “let anyone across the border” and they have no plans to do that.

Someone can be called a liar … and they actually stretch the truth less than the one making the claim.

Someone can … well … let’s just say … excepting an ardent, focused, few … for the everyday schmuck it can be really quite confusing.

Unfortunately, all the confusion does is mask the truly important decision.

For France it is the doctrine of ‘liberty, equality, fraternity.’

For USA … despite Thomas Jefferson and other’s temptation to head down the same path … we settled on the doctrine of liberty and justice for all.

Yet. It never seems like we talk about this enough.

Politics seem to revolve around what I, as a business person, would call tactics. Immigration, health, jobs, security, etc. Yeah. Important shit, but tactics to meet the objective. And all this talk about the tactics truly seems to confuse us, the voters & citizens, about the overarching objective.

And politicians shamelessly use and stretch the meaning of tactics to morph them into something that the objective demands when, in reality, it does no such thing.

That may be the most heinous thing a politician does these days.

We should almost demand each of them to put up the objective — what the country, the ‘one nation’ <not “under God” … just ‘one nation’> stands for and demand that every time they make some ludicrous claim or offer some distorted thought about past country behavior that they explain to us how it meets the objective. In other words. Tie all the tactics to the grander idea that all the people really believe in.

Uhm. Oh yeah. Just a quick reminder to my American readers on the whole “under God” aside I just offered.

The US founding fathers centered everything, Constitution and Bill of Rights, on one core idea — liberty and justice for all. While some important stuff surrounds that core, they are the trappings of what makes up the core.

I say that because our founding fathers did not write the pledge of allegiance. Nor did the pledge we all stood up and speak in our childhood schoolrooms originally include “under God” <even though the original was created by an ordained minister in 1892>. It was only in the spring of 1954, after US Congress had voted with some controversy, to insert the phrase into the Pledge of Allegiance — partly as a cold war tactic against “godless” communism.

——————–

The original Pledge read as follows:

‘I pledge allegiance to my Flag and (to*) the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.’ He considered placing the word, ‘equality,’ in his Pledge, but knew that the state superintendents of education on his committee were against equality for women and African Americans.

[ * ‘to’ added in October, 1892 ]

—————–

All Americans should remember that core of the pledge of allegiance is the ‘republic for which it stands,’ which, I could argue, is the concise phrase for One Nation – an ‘’executive summary’ if you will of the One Nation which the Civil War was fought to prove. The pledge unequivocally states that to make that One Nation idea viable we must specify that it is indivisible. This is a word, and a thought, used by Jefferson, other founding fathers, Daniel Webster, Lincoln and almost every visionary leader the country has ever had throughout speeches & writing.

No one should be confused by what the core of the country doctrine is … nor what the Founding Fathers desired … liberty & justice for all … one nation … indivisible.

<and shame on any politician who suggests otherwise>

Anyway. About the only thing I am sure of during an election is that there will be rampant confusion among those who are actually voting and unrelenting adamant fervor of what everyone should not be confused about <tactics>.

As a nation France stands square on the doctrine of ‘liberty, equality, fraternity.’ Until someone comes along and says “no, that’s not right, lets change it to bla bla bla …” that is what makes France ‘One Nation’.

Not baguettes.

Not great coffee.

Not mastering the art of wearing a scarf.

Not even a semi-haughty attitude on occasion.

One nation.

The moment a country ignores that which makes it one and gets confused by what some politician suggests is an important tactic that doesn’t really match up with ‘oneness’ it no longer is a country with a doctrine or a soul. It remains divided by tactics and empty of an objective.

As a business guy. As I read that last sentence, for a business, I hear the tolling of the death knell.

Without oneness a nation is no longer a nation. And a tactic, NO tactic, will never insure oneness … only an idea can.

Outside of America, France is my favorite country in the world. I always think, and wish for them, liberty, honor and lack of confusion … because clarity is the path to oneness.

And be clear … the idea which makes France one is ‘liberty, equality, fraternity.’

And be clear … the idea which makes USA one is liberty and justice for all or, if you would prefer, e pluribus unim (out of many one). Don’t let any tactic or any blowhard promise take your focus off of that. In the end the one thing we should demand of any politician, any leader, is to attain the objective of oneness, of unity, of liberty for all. Absent that we are just talking tactics. And, in business, that’s a fool’s errand and we are not a nation of fools.

==============

“I’m always finding humans at their best and worst.

I see their ugly and their beauty, and I wonder how the same thing can be both.”

————–

Death

<in “The Book Thief”>

=============

So. This quote is said by Death. Yeah. Death is suggesting he considers humans beautiful, as well as ugly, all the while resting comfortably in his chair awaiting the opportunity to end it all.

I admit.

The thought seems slightly counter-intuitive, but I like thinking the thought that Death is a lot more complicated than we may think.

I like thinking that Death sees us … and assesses us … and maybe even judges us a little … as not one-dimensional things to say ‘thumbs up’ or ‘thumbs down.’

I like thinking of death as not some grim reaper but rather a thoughtful person who has a job to do. One who contemplates the fact that some days will be good and some days just won’t be so fun.

I like thinking of Death One who can see the best and worst … acknowledging that good things can happen to bad people and bad things can happen to good people.

And, I imagine, I like thinking of Death as … well … intelligent and not simply some mindless executioner wandering about seeking his next victim.

For sure this quote reminded me of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s quote about intelligence:

“The test of a first rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise.”

I believe it was Keats who called this ‘negative capability.’

As he explained <or tried to > “it is when a man is capable of being in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact & reason.”

In other words, you understand, or least come to grips with, that there is a shitload of inconsistency and uncertainty in Life and, yet, you deal with it and do what you need to do.

<that’s my translation>

The truth in Life is that we really don’t have to be one thing because you’re not another thing – or not be something if you are something <you get it>.

It may seem impossible if you appear to be a contradiction and, yet, be quite a successful, happy, productive bundle of contradictions. I will suggest, no, state, that not only do you not have to be one thing forever, but you can actually be a couple of things now … at the same time … in this time & place.

I sometimes believe individual happiness is found more often than not in our ‘negative capability’ intelligence. In other words … how smartly we can navigate the contradictions in Life as well as the contradiction of what is within who & what we are. If we don’t learn negative capability then we must seem to inevitably seek to isolate being one thing and one thing only as a judge of whether we are living Life well, productively and with focus.

And maybe that is why I believe Death was, and is, intelligent — it has mastered negative capability. Death has embraced the contradiction of being one thing and yet living another seemingly contradictory idea. If Death can see beauty in that which it will inevitably have to end with its own hand surely we can see good in bad … as well as be both bad & good ourselves.

Regardless.

It seems like there is a lesson in here for all of us. And maybe the lesson is, unfortunately, not that simple.

Death looks, on the surface, as one thing … and yet … is most likely something other.

Death does one thing … and yet … most likely thinks many other things.

We view Death as one thing and avoid him … and yet … should we meet him on the street on his way to meet someone other than us … he may greet us with a smile. While Death’s perception challenge  is actually called “affective fallacy” <confusion between what it is and what it does>, this is a challenge we all face in Life.

I imagine, in the end, the lesson is a simple one … sometimes Life just isn’t that simple.

Ok. Ditch the ‘sometimes.’

Life is never that simple.

We are more than one thing … we are a sum of all our parts … we are part of everyone we have met <and will meet> … and we are, at our core, a reflection of a multi-faceted character containing aspects of all which we desire to be as well as some aspects which we view slightly glumly as ‘the aspects I do not desire to be … but am.’

We either embrace the contradictions or … well … we will most likely suck at dealing with Life and living Life.

Anyway. What I do know is that I wish someone taught “negative capabilities 101” because we should all sign up for that class. It would be a better world if we were all competent in negative capabilities.

=======================

“When the first living thing existed, I was there waiting.

When the last living thing dies, my job will be finished. I’ll put the chairs on the tables, turn out the lights and lock the universe behind me when I leave.”

Neil Gaiman

=====================

=====

“What I hate is ignorance, smallness of imagination, the eye that sees no farther than its own lashes. All things are possible. Who you are is limited only by who you think you are.”

–

Egyptian Book of the Dead

======

There is gobs of advice information on how to communicate authentically but, in reality, authenticity comes from the soul; it comes naturally. So. I am dubious with regard to the value of the advice ‘how to be authentic’ information.

Anyway. I actually prefer discussing all of this is ‘being genuine.’

I call it genuine because authentic has become bullshit. Authentic has become business. It has become something you can learn to be – like a skill.

That’s nuts.

Frickin’ nuts.

To me it all started going awry through entertainers and people in the spotlight. I imagine every person who dances in the spotlight of fame gets coached and scripted and sculpted for the masses before stepping up to a podium or agreeing to accept the microphone and say something. I call it the ‘polishing of authenticity’. I will also call it, well, ungenuine.  I would also suggest we don’t want scripted from the people we suggest we want to know about or just know.

Ah.

‘suggest’

Here is where Authentic really goes off the rails. While yearning for this thing we call ‘authentic’, we also relentlessly parse each tone, syllable, gesture, word & thought <although mostly that is speculation on our part on with regard to what they really meant when they said what they said>. And that is where this whole thing gets slightly odd <or absurd … if not sad>.

We cannot tell what is genuine and what is not, what is authentic and what is not. That is just batshit crazy.  So we ask for ‘authenticity, seek authenticity, yet remain overly cynical of anyone actually offering authenticity and, worse, critique it fragment by fragment.

I put this in the same category as transparency. The only way to be transparent & believable is to be radically transparent. Similarly the only way to be authentic & believable is to be radically authentic.

Whew boy.

Ponder that.

Ponder how willing you are to be ‘believably authentic’ or, in my terms, ‘believably genuine.’

Ok. Let me make an example. Risking some shit from my readers, let me talk about Katy Perry <or even her ex,

Russell Brand> and authenticity and being genuine.

While people step up and speak as earnestly as possible and share truth and we consistently doubt them, there is Katy Perry who steps up in a slightly wacky persona <which you have to know is slightly scripted at minimum> and within the wackiness, uhm, seamlessly slides into a serious thought <reminder: she was quite articulate & ‘smart’ during the 2016 election>.  People got confused. Well. Some people did. How could this wacky entertainer, sometimes quirky, be smart and articulate and serious.? Well. One would almost suggest she was, uhm, being authentic in all aspects of who and what she is.

Look. I am fairly sure she is one of the more truly authentic people out in the public eye today.

I just think it’s a little out of whack that we doubt the sincere and accept the absurd.

I just think it’s a little out of whack we doubt seriousness and only see the nonseriousness.

I also think it’s a little out of whack how much we listen or do not listen for ‘things’ (cues to judge).

What I mean by that is we listen very very <very> hard for things in which we can turn to and point out flaws & ‘lies’ & things that make the person saying them ‘less than.’ And, yet, we don’t seem to listen as hard for the nuggets they share in which we can look at them and think ‘more than.’ Well. That would seem to say more about us then them, no?

Ponder.

Every time she speaks she is entertaining.

Every time she performs she seems to love what she does.

Every time she has an opportunity … she offers up something bigger & more important.

How is that different from anyone being authentic? Isn’t that almost the definition of genuine?

You speak to engage.

You genuinely agree with what you say and how you feel about what you are doing.

Every time you genuinely feel like you have something to contribute – you offer it.

Yet. The price to being authentic seems to be she isn’t being heard for the really important stuff.

Yet. the price YOU pay to being authentic seems to be you are not being heard for the really important stuff.

What a wacky world we live in these days. Who knew authentic would be so difficult.

Yes. I purposefully chose a lightning rod ‘Hollywood liberal’ to make a point. Choose your own lightning rod and see if I don’t have a point.

Anyway.

Maybe we should listen to the people who get the microphone shoved in front of their face with a little less cynicism.

Maybe we should seek to find a little more trust that some people truly are trying to tell us the truth.

Maybe we need to get better at discerning genuine versus ‘faux authenticity’ (practiced sincerity … as if that is a ‘thing’).

Maybe we need to remember you can only see as far as you think <and only hear as much as you unthink>.

Lastly. A cautionary note for businesses & brands. Brands are not people, but genuine is genuine. Deciding to ‘be authentic’ is not something you ‘decide’, you just, well, are (or you are not). My caution is the natural cynicism people have about authenticity. Because if you noted that point above, and you nodded your head, well, take note that in business that cynicism increases exponentially. That cynicism demands you don’t ‘be authentic’; it actually demands that you are authentic.

Which permits me to end where I began. You can ‘be authentic’ and maybe you can learn some faux skill to be authentic, but if you are authentic you are genuine. And genuine is invaluable in the world of business.

I am a collector.

I collect stories.

I collect memories.

I collect knowledge.

I collect insights.

I collect thoughts.

I collect words.

I collect stories.

And, while at times it may not look like I am paying attention, I pay attention to everything and everyone.

I believe you have to because you never can tell when someone is going to give you a story to collect.

Or some random piece of learning to store away for another day.

Or maybe just a new word or phrase that describes something better than you have ever been able to articulate yourself.

Maybe because of that attitude I always scratch my head when people don’t listen. Or, worse, they ignore people because they aren’t “equal” or a peer or significant or look like someone they should care about or, well, whatever crazy reason people come up with. Here is Life truth:

Everyone is significant.

Everyone has a story.

Everyone has had some life changing event.

Everyone has some experience worthy of note.

Everyone has something meaningful to say.

But. It can be tricky <if you are a collector>

Sometimes you have to listen very closely. Sometimes even between the words a little. And sometimes you have to say something that unlocks the story.

And listen again.

Because sometimes people have a story they never want to tell.

Okay. How about this. Everyone has some stories they hesitate to tell. Not because they are some skeleton in the closet (and these aren’t the most interesting stories anyway), but because they are a little scary from a personal perspective. They bare the soul a little. They show some vulnerability. It sometimes doesn’t feel safe to tell it.

Well.

Those are the stories you want to hear and collect and learn from.

But you have to work a little to get these stories.

Those stories are the real gifts <note: and re-gifting isn’t permitted>. They are secrets to collect solely with the purpose to learn something .so you can be better.

So. In the end I guess I am suggesting we should all listen a little more. To everyone.

And maybe, in particular, to those who you don’t get to hear that often. For in those moments, when they speak, you may gain something more than words. If you listen really closely, listen to the whispered thoughts behind the spoken words of the story, you hear the story within the story.

That, my friends, is where you collect wisdom. And sometimes, if you are real lucky, you will learn something about yourself among the whispers of their story.

Just remember. Not only does everyone have a story, but everyone has a story worth listening to.