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“We must learn to be still in the midst of activity and to be vibrantly alive in repose.”

Indira Gandhi

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This may be my favorite quote of all time. I use this to explain great leadership.  I use it to living Life. I use it to discuss solving problems. Heck. I just like using it.

But. I will get back to that thought.

One of the neat things about sifting through the job opportunities are the sometimes well crafted, but always interesting, ‘here is what we are seeking’ writings. I still have this in my files:

—

“We have people who do good work when it comes their way, but we do not have a person who has the skill and the temperament insight in the data, clarity in the confusion, and courage in the chaos of a very large retail piece of business.”

—

Well. I love this. I thought it was an incredibly well written interesting way to state what they were seeking AND it also gave some insight into the personality of the company and writer. Plus there is some nice alliteration (or is that assonance, I always get them confused).

Anyway. I have written about the “mutual chemistry check” which I believe is incredibly important in the interview process (particularly at mid to senior level positions). And when you receive the ‘here is what we are seeking’ statement it is a nice way to judge some aspect of chemistry. They could have sent a laundry list bullet pointed list.

They didn’t.

** note: when I speak of chemistry I do not mean some simplistic ‘likeable’ or, worse, some Myers-Briggs personality assessment, I mean comfort with company’s guiding principles, because in the end, when the bombs start dropping and you are stuck in the foxhole with all the other decision-makers you don’t have to like each other but you damn well better be sure that your choicemaking works within a common guardrails mental system. 

I mention this because my write up for “so what is it you do well” took me a long time to figure out, but when I did, it now gets used by HR people and search people all the time as an example of how to write one that isn’t just factoids and ‘puffery’ and a laundry list of “I am good with people” and a “problem solver” and shit like that.

In addition they (HR/search placement people) like it because it reflects some “here is what you are gonna get” from a personality standpoint. Anyway. If you are seeking for an example here you go:

some good things to know about Bruce McTague

creative management

Let’s call my style ‘restless consistency.’ Restless because I like to build in some constant change but consistent because I dislike straying from vision/strategy core. How do I know it works? I have never lost a piece of business within my account responsibilities while in Account Management. Well. Okay one. One piece of business I was just assigned to resigned within one month. I would like to believe that wasn’t cause & effect. But it does make me think if there was cause & effect on why I don’t lose pieces of business (through reviews, contract renegotiations, senior management changes and staff changes). Another way I know that it works? I bet I have 5 strategies I have worked on since the 1980’s that are still the core strategic platform for that brand.
I believe it’s mainly because I believe in restless consistency. The easiest way to describe this is with a metaphor. I look at business as a 5 lane highway. I keep a business out of the ditches but I am comfortable shifting lanes and passing people as well as slow down on occasion to avoid accidents – all somewhere on the five lane highway. Yes. Sometimes I forget to use the blinker. And sometimes I will pass when the signs say don’t pass. So I have received some tickets along the way. But my car typically keeps moving and getting ahead.

managing transitional moments

Let’s stick with the highway metaphor. Changing lanes at any speed on a highway with other vehicles is always tricky. I have always shown the ability to see appropriate times to pass, which lane to use (I am willing to pass on the right) and show an ability to hit the transition moment at the right speed and at the right time. I would imagine it’s partially because I apply past business knowledge to successfully meet Client challenges. I imagine it is partially because I am always thinking and willing to adapt the strategic thinking with new learning. As a driver I have a proven successful track record of assuming responsibilities on businesses with no prior industry experience and transitioning new ideas into the existing programs. So. Put me on a new highway in a different vehicle and I know how to drive. My experience spans across traditional package goods, retail and service businesses and all I have stored away in my memory banks translates into ability to transition businesses through ‘business solving’ moments. This ability works well in new business environment also.

people management

My people tend to be successful in business and life. Cause & effect? I don’t know for sure. All I know is that I have:

–          Created and managed a variety of team formations which have developed successful business results.

–          Team members have moved on to successful careers of their own including CMO’s, CEO of agency, Directors of Strategy, executive management with clients and agencies.

–          Happy family life (good balanced lives)

I would imagine in some way maybe I teach life lessons at the same time I teach business lessons.

tactical variety

I do think it matters what someone has done from a practical experience. I have either worked in or directly managed Direct Marketing, Media, Account Management, Creative process, grassroots, brand planning, strategic planning (business consulting), social media, organizational behavior, etc and familiar with profitability and effective time utilization (labor) models to build and maintain profitable companies.  Taught strategic planning (the JWT model), Account Management techniques, presentation training, among other topics, to people.  All of this clearly places me into a generalist space. This doesn’t mean I know everything. This also doesn’t mean I can’t hang with the specialists in fact many specialists like having me around because then they don’t have to worry about how to translate what they are doing and thinking to others.
 

Anyway. There you go. An example. And an example that a bunch of people seem to like.

But back to the quote – still and alive.

All the skills sets I suggested I offered earlier seem to be grounded in the quote I used upfront.

I will also suggest actually implementing this quote may be one of the hardest things to do in the world.

Being still while things swirl around you takes strength of character and a belief in yourself. Because being still means you are willing to let others “do” and be recognized. And the possibility you may be overlooked in your stillness. On the other side, to infuse action where there is stagnancy or lostness takes such a strength, character and energy, that it can be overwhelming.

I certainly aspire to ‘still & alive’ mostly because I believe it is a personal version of festina lente (make haste slowly) and I believe that is efficacy in business. And if there is anything I am it is a believer in business efficacy – not efficiency, not effectiveness, efficacy.

That said. While still and alive is most likely a skill, it is also a reflection of some aspect of character. And maybe that is my point. Business, however you define it in this case – chemistry, success, effectiveness, collaboration, coherence – demands some character and a business that demands character will do well. Ponder.

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“I’m an egomaniac with an inferiority complex.”

Eric Clapton

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“Not everything is about you,” Clary said furiously.

“Possibly,” Jace said, “but you do have to admit that the majority of things are.”

Cassandra Clare

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“Who knows himself a braggart, let him fear this, for it will come to pass that every braggart shall be found an ass.”

William Shakespeare

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“Or, rather, let us be more simple and less vain.”

Jean-Jacques Rousseau

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We all have worked with assholes.

We all have also most likely worked with egotistical assholes.

And, unfortunately, we all have most likely worked with competent egotistical assholes. This is the particular type of asshole who actually kind of knows their shit, is overly satisfied with their competence, tells everyone who good they are and says all of this no matter what has actually happened <good or bad>or whether it is actually reflective of reality.

I have never really worked for anyone like this <fortunately>, but I do know from experience that these people particularly suck to work with because, yeah, they don’t completely suck from a functional professional standpoint so you cannot completely ignore them and, even worse, they may actually even have some specific skill you may need at some point.

What makes it suck for you is that they have some serious flaws <not that they would ever admit it> and that they will take credit for anything and everything they can, they will multiply wins in exaggerated results and effort and diminish, if not even blame others, for lack of successes.

They are, and always will be, the biggest self-promoters <assholes> you will ever encounter.

They are, and always will be, the biggest selective users of facts and specifics to showcase whatever self-style & strength they want to portray <their own assholedness>.

They are a legend in their own mind <and an asshole to the rest of us>. But, at their best, they are not only competent, but can actually contribute.

These assholes are tougher to deal with and manage than the incompetent. You can ignore the incompetent <or the ‘less than useful’ or the “beyond their sell-by date’ people>.

Once again, I have never had to report to an incompetent blowhard <or an incompetent non blowhard> but I have had several “senior people who were beyond their sell-by date” who you never permitted in a meeting by themselves <for fear of what they would say or promise> and you always tried to diplomatically curb their responsibilities and impact. “Beyond their sell-by date” people were not always truly assholes or incompetent just ‘less than desired usefulness’ for the business needs.

But the competent blowhards are a bear to deal with. You are constantly sitting there thinking … “Jesus … wouldn’t it be terrific to be able to reap the rewards without putting up with the blowhard bullshit?”

I actually found an article suggesting some tips on how you can “harness the superb results these folks generate without having to put up with their acting out.”

Whew. That article was off base. You cannot harness a blowhard — competent or incompetent. An egotistical competent person is, well, an egotistical <typically “narcissistic”> competent blowhard asshole and there is little to get around that.

You just figure out how to get around them, use them the best you can and take them head on strategically <knowing you cannot take them head on all the time>.

To be clear.

I am using “asshole” loosely here. As someone noted somewhere the term “asshole” is also used as a euphemistic reference to people whom we classify as “disagreeable.” A blowhard is disagreeable, but so can a lot of good people who aren’t narcissistic. Shit. Contrarians can portray some asshole tendencies <see myself as a prime example>, but not all contrarians are fucking egotistical self-promoting blowhards.

I could argue that since each of us is an asshole to someone the term is always relative. In other words, one person’s asshole can be another person’s hero.

Therefore … in my eyes … it takes a lot of effort to be a competent asshole.

Incompetent assholes don’t know that they are assholes.

Competent assholes KNOW that they are assholes.

I am writing this because, unfortunately, this is a conversation we all have in business. Egomaniac assholes are in every business. We have to deal with them and the reality is that sometimes they are in senior management.

They may actually be competent, but they are manipulative, obsessive, and aggravatingly boastful and far too often bullies.

They may actually have some aspects of competence and use it to throw anyone around them who also shows signs of threatening competence under the bus at any given opportunity.

They actually do all of the above under the guise of “creating a competitive always improving environment” when they are really simply insecure assholes who want to diminish anyone around them so they look bigger & better.

—————————————–

Hayakawa: Use the Right Word:

By definition ‘boast’ suggests a self-important and tasteless pointing out of one’s own successes.

Occasionally the word can refer to self-congratulation for a victory not yet won.  Brag intensifies the note of tastelessness in boast, suggesting limitless conceit and, possibly, inaccuracy of the claims being made – bragging about imaginary exploits. And then there is ‘crowing’ which suggests a noisy or vociferous bragging of an extremely offensive kind. And ‘gloating’? Gloating is an intensification of crow – although it need not be verbal and sometimes suggests taunting someone that one has bested.

by definition: egomania

…. an obsessive preoccupation with one’s self and applies to someone who follows their own ungoverned impulses and is possessed by delusions of personal greatness and feels a lack of appreciation.

——————————————

Look. I don’t mind a manager with a healthy sense of ego, but the true competent blowhards are best to avoid if possible because they have elements of toxicity.

In Toxic Workers , a new Harvard Business School working paper, Michael Housman and Dylan Minor look at the paradox of “superstar” workers who outperform their colleagues by 2:1 or more, but who are “toxic” — awful to work with and be around.

The connection between toxicity and productivity has been validated in several studies, but the question that Housman and Minor set out to answer is, “are 1%, superstar workers worth the trouble they cause in the workplace?”

Using a clever empirical methodology, they demonstrate that, basically, you shouldn’t work with assholes. It’s better to hire two average employees than to keep one “superstar” on the payroll, once you factor in the disruption that your talented jerk wreaks on their colleagues.

Simplistically, blowhards distort things. They exaggerate good, diminish bad,  consistently use a made up unique formula of uncertainties & lack of clarity, offer alternatives <facts & universes> and serve to only create difficulties in exactly describing what is, and isn’t, actually happening. While accomplishing some things, which if discussed like a normal human being everyone would be fine with, the abnormal human being says shit like: “I don’t think there’s ever been anyone who in this short period of time has done what I’ve done.”

Uhm.

Unfortunately for whoever says this there is typically some actual proof that someone somewhere has actually achieved a lot more. But that really doesn’t matter to this type of person … all they have to do is do enough and make it look hopeful enough that a group of employees ignore the hyperbole and focus on the fact someone has done something.

By the way.

What makes this truly toxic is the fact the competent non-blowhards around this person start ignoring the blowhard and just doing their own thing <this is a passive level of tolerance and this because even more toxic to a business the more senior the blowhard is>.

I imagine my point here is that we all know someone at work whose biggest fan is himself/herself. They exaggerate all their contributions and diminish & deflect any blame or negatives.

Those people make it really difficult to compliment. Our first instinct is to try and deflate <or ‘right-size’> accomplishments so that even good gets diminished so it doesn’t get exaggerated. Unfortunately his sometimes means that even when credit is due the person has just made it hard for us to WANT to give them credit.

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“Until the lion learns how to write, every story will glorify the hunter.”

African proverb

===

Regardless. We all know some of these people who do not recognize that they are one of those people. Particularly in business.

They aren’t psychopaths and they aren’t the kind of assholes that are raging assholes, these are just the assholes oblivious to their assholedness. Suffice it to say far and away the number one way they justify their existence is “the end justifies the means.”

“But I made the numbers.”

“We won.”

“We finished.”

All the while ignoring the carnage left behind. The carnage can be lost employees, pissed off employees, tired <emotionally and physically> employees, angry peers and disappointed or abused partners. Let me explain each from the viewpoint of the incompetent blowhard asshole:

<lost>

They couldn’t keep up or they were not good enough <good they are gone … we weed out those who can’t keep up>.

<pissed off>

You can’t always pamper people to get them across the finish line <they like me because they know it is all done with ‘tough love’>.

<tired>

I pushed them beyond what they thought they could do <they won’t be angry once they see how I helped them realize their potential>.

<peers>

The other managers don’t recognize what it takes to get it done <my project was more important and they won’t be angry once they see the result and how the team responded …or … I am showing them how it should be done>.

<partners>

They have good intentions but I need to keep them focused on our priorities and objectives and needs <they work for us and need us more than we need them>.

Those are the tricks of the trade of the competent blowhards.

Regardless.

Yes.

Success does matter.

No.

I am not suggesting we shouldn’t value ‘the kill’ or even ‘ability to effectively stalk the prey’ in business.

But.

Yes.

I do believe how you kill or stalk matters.

Look. Blowhards can try and convince us of competence in a variety of ways … they can showcase fulfilling promises which does not show the actions of a skilled CEO, but rather a bumbling overwhelmed CEO focused on showing action to try and cover up incompetence. I say that because even bumbling incompetent CEO’s can do some things right in a flurry of ‘doing shit.’ I say that because even a semi-incoherent senior business person can do some things right AND justify it in some fairly creative common sense sounding ways.

The following is something I found somewhere <I cannot find where> from a competent asshole who actually responded to “being an asshole manager” which showcase how a competent asshole business person can quite easily justify their actions.

** Please note that there is a strong thread of truly competent thoughts.

** Please note that if I were so inclined I could go back through every point and slice out the slightly self-righteous aspects and showcase how you can actually be competent and not an asshole AND not pamper your employees’ every whim … but I will not.

=======

…. not sure how you define asshole, but I suppose being blunt, efficient, and unable to cater to every employee’s wants (not needs) goes a long way. I go out of my way to reward my best employees, give them the resources they need, approve their time off outside of work, etc. I take a pedagogical approach to my role, passing knowledge to my employees that will help them advance their careers (and make my job easier). Yet, I’m still the asshole.

Here are some reasons I’m an asshole manager:

1. I’m responsible for making a diverse group of people with varying job roles work together. Try coming up with one rule or guideline that makes everyone happy.

2. Some employees only work as hard as they have to. And they hate it when you ask them to do more.
3. Some employees (often the ones who only do the bare minimum) expect to be promoted just for showing up. You can print them a crystal clear roadmap to success within your company, and they’ll still paddle along, doing nothing to distinguish themselves, then ask to be supervisor.
4. Ingratitude is the status quo. Once, everyone in the department got tiny raises (three figures). The reason they were tiny is because we shifted our fiscal year; there was a tiny pool for compensation increases. Because someone had left, I was able to get every one of my employees a raise larger than the 1.5% average everyone in the company had to adhere to. I know it’s not a lot, but I put in a lot of effort to make their tiny raises a little less tiny. The fact they got more than the average was clearly explained to them. The response: the raises “were a slap in the face.” Fine. Next time, we’ll spend the money on a clever fucking food truck half of you won’t like.
5. As a manager, much of your employee’s well-being (compensation, promotion, career growth) depends on you. At the same time, this isn’t a day care center; it’s a business, and my job is to get my employees to do their jobs. That’s a hell of burden, and it makes me less likely to be everyone’s buddy when instead I have to be fair and compassionate, but also directive and efficient.
6. In the same vein, employees know how much power you have over things like compensation, so they’re never, ever totally honest with you. Personality problems I constantly hear about third-hand magically disappear when I’m leading from the floor. Also, employees will admit to making small mistakes, which upon five seconds of investigation, turn out to be related to much larger mistakes they say nothing about.
7. Paranoia is the status quo. I can’t explain to employee #1 why I wrote employee #2 up. That would be unprofessional, and would betray the disciplined employee’s trust. Yet if it appears on the surface that I’m being unfair, then the conspiracy theorists kick in and all of a sudden I’m playing favorites. Example: Two employees don’t show up to work. One is written up. The first employee has a documented record of excessively calling in sick, and misses work yet again, without notice. The other, who has an exemplary attendance record, has a family emergency and calls into work in advance. The former would get written up before the latter every time. Employees aren’t privy to these details, so they form their own conclusions baked in resentment. And God help you if the employee who incorrectly thinks they’re being treated unfairly is a woman or a minority.

8. You can’t listen to music with the N-word in it. You can’t describe the hot girl you met. You can’t tell off-color jokes, listen to Howard Stern, or share clips of that R-rated stand-up comedian. I’m going to write you up for breaking those rules. You may even get fired. The alternative is me losing my job because I tolerated a hostile work environment. So yes, we’re a friendly, down-to-earth, casual company…until tone-deaf legal standards force us to behave otherwise.
9. Millennials, calling into work because you’re stressed isn’t a good excuse. Especially if it happens exclusively on Fridays and Mondays. I’m going to call you out on it.
10. When HR makes a decision to fire you, I’m the one who breaks the news. When finance says we can’t afford that tool to make your job easier, I’m the one who communicates the message. Part of my job is to be the face of the company to you. Your bridge to the massive bureaucracy. Of course I’m going to sound like an asshole to you. And no, I don’t have time to make you feel better about it. So put my picture on the dartboard. Slander me if it makes you feel better about things. As long as you’re doing your job and I’m doing my best to treat you fairly and humanely, the rest is your problem.

============

So. That sounded fairly reasonable, didn’t it? I chuckled a little and stopped myself from going back and showing the author where they were … well … an asshole <but still pointing out their competence>. Being a manager and a leader is not easy. If it were then, well, not only could anyone be one anyone could actually be a good one.

I shared the 10 thoughts above because the difference between an asshole leader, and a competent non asshole leader, can often be defined in shades, not vivid colors <although the result often can be viewed in vivid displays of rich & royal hues>. And that vivid comparison truly comes to Life if you are viewing a competent arrogant blowhard.

I was an okay manager & leader. I did some things okay and some things not so okay. I can honestly say I did get better at it as time went on and I am much better now, and how I discuss leadership, than I was even 5 years ago.

I am much better at identifying incompetence and the characteristics one should look at in defining and judging managers and leaders than I was at the beginning of my career <at the beginning it was just “boy, that feel and looks wrong” and now it is “let me point out the five things which are wrong that makes it feel wrong.”>

And I will admit that it can sometimes be a fine line between solid confidence and overestimated ego.

What I can tell you is that you don’t need me to point out an arrogant, narcissistic, semi-competent blowhard. You can see them a mile away and even if you just “feel it” you are more than likely right.

An asshole is an asshole. Once you have seen an asshole and felt what it is like to be around an asshole you will never forget the feeling.

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“Besides, nowadays, almost all capable people are terribly afraid of being ridiculous, and are miserable because of it.”

Fyodor Dostoevsky

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“I eventually came to understand that in harboring the anger, the bitterness and resentment towards those that had hurt me, I was giving the reins of control over to them.”

Isabel Lopez

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“Beware of those who are bitter, for they will never allow you to enjoy your fruit.”

Suzy Kassem

==============

Well. Spite and resentment is one of the least discussed business ailments in the business world. What I mean is that businesses around the world <including the good ole USofA> are strewn with middle management and upper management who carry around a full backpack of resentment. This backpack has a nifty well designed logo on it — victim.

I would imagine <this is a guess> that this significant sprinkling of people in the business world carrying around the resentment of being victimized in some form or fashion do not hold the most senior spots, but rather they hold the responsibilities most dangerous to the overall health of an organization – middle management.

They are most likely not at the top because those people got the positions they deserve.

** note: while a significant amount of less-than-competent people, mostly men, get promoted into senior positions the majority of senior people do have significant skills

The ones who carry resentment are the ones who have been promoted “too slowly” or maybe haven’t been “recognized for the talents they offer” or maybe have been passed over by “someone who doesn’t know half the shit I know” and then, to their satisfaction, they have FINALLY been promoted. They take the step up, but before they do, stop at the bottom of the stairs to pick up their backpack of resentment and then accept the step up.

I often think of this as the ugly underbelly of ‘entitled’ or “finally getting what one deserves.” This is … uhm … in other words, resentment. And resentment carries a nasty quiver of grievance arrows to shoot when given the opportunity.

And grievances have a nasty habit of being one of those things that like to be addressed and not ignored.

Now. Some people confuse this with “carrying a chip on their shoulder” which is what got them to where they are today.

That’s bullshit.

People mistakenly conflate “carrying a chip on their shoulder” with ambition.

It’s not as simple as that. In fact that simplistic ‘go about business like they have a chip on their shoulder’ is actually just a lazy attitude toward motivation.

It is more often than not some self-created ‘boogieman’ someone has created in their mind in order to go out and be your best. It’s faux extrinsic motivation rather than intrinsic and it’s bullshit. If that’s all you have for motivation, well, that’s just not good <for you and the people you work with>.

Yes. In small doses a ‘chip on your shoulder’ can give you some well needed nudges to “I will show them” attitude at some key moments.

No. Large doses, or constant, “conducting myself with a chip on my shoulder” attitude simply makes you an asshole.

You become an asshole because this 100% chip on shoulder attitude actually makes hate, in some form or fashion, the energy to drive everything – it creates an outsized sense of grievance which you bring with you wherever you go. This grievance not only seems to pour from every pore in this person, but also seems to appear every time this person makes a decision <if not in the words they say>.

Yeah.

The resentment people can be crafty.

Crafty in that they justify their behavior not just based on their outsized chip, but more often that they are standing up for all who have been overlooked and begrudged of what they were entitled to by some unfair system or ‘cadre of assholes driven to let mediocrity thrive.’

It’s bullshit and it’s another version of us versus them, but with a total selfish foundation.

In addition. If they are good at masking their resentment, each decision, taken as mutually exclusive of all other decisions, can maybe be explained as a ‘personal issue being addressed’ or sometimes even simply an impulsive instinctual decision.

That’s bullshit too.

I am not suggesting all employees burdened by an unhealthy weight of resentment are actually bad managers and business people <in a pragmatic competent sense>, but they do have a nasty tendency to have built this façade of some “personal brand” which they have honed over time as they have been ignored & overlooked so much so that all decisions and choices get instinctually filtered through this personal brand filter.

Nothing is impulsive, nothing is “resentment driven” and nothing is “addressing a grievance”, it is all simply driven by the personal brand, i.e., I am what I am because of who I am.

What makes this behavior confusing to people <in terms of trying to discern motivations and the sense that there is an unhealthy amount of resentment incorporated into the management style> is that there is no long term strategy, it just assumes that all transactions meet the brand therefore, in the long run, it is good.

Exceeding expectations is defined in a transaction by transaction basis and weapons used to meet expectations <responsibilities> are justified as means to an end. In other words these managers can screw anyone they want professionally, but if within that specific project, assignment or transaction the greater organizational expectations are met or exceeded … well … this manager has “won.”

Oddly this behavior creates an odd sense of consistency … & inconsistency.

It can often appear inconsistent in that the actions, behavior & decisions are not particularly driven by any business philosophy or ideology or even based on what is right or wrong.  This drives the appearance of inconsistency.

The consistency is grounded on vindictiveness. This doesn’t mean any and all actions are vindictive just that if the opportunity arises to address some self-defined grievance and the window of opportunity to be vindictive opens this person will jump through that window.

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“I must fight with my weapons. Not his. Not selfishness and brutality and shame and resentment.”

John Fowles

===================

Here is the problem with all that I have shared today.

Resentment is part of the devilish trinity of bad shit in a business environment – fear, anger, resentment.

All the yesterdays make this person angry and humiliated and, frankly, they feel like they have been taken advantage of. It creates a negative emotional foundation from which all behavior and actions are leveraged from.

I could argue that this is a cultural thing. Something like a “culture of entitlement” in which people feel like they are promised promotions & money simply because they work hard.

I will not.

This is an individual issue.

Individuals are responsible and complicit in this attitude and behavior – culture does not force them to do anything and think anything on this issue.

I could argue that this is some version of culture encouraging a larger sense of victimhood.

I will not.

This is an individual issue.

It is not victimhood if you shoulder your own responsibilities and are ‘punished’ if the chips do not fall your way.

I could argue that thus is some warped version of culture encouraging unrealistic expectations.

I will not.

This is an individual issue.

Expectations are defined personally, society and culture doesn’t tell you what to expect, You craft that expectation all by your lonesome. And, I have news for everyone, while Life & business can be pretty cruel and unfair, in general, those who have ability and work hard do not typically get overlooked or left behind. Hate to tell the “resentful managers”, but I feel pretty confident suggesting that as a basic business truth.

The only thing I will argue is that someone who has a big backpack of resentment should never be a leader.

Why?

Anger today.

Resentment of yesterday.

Fear of tomorrow.

That is the trio of partners in crime in this sad story. I have to tell you. I am fairly sure no business wants those three sitting in any one office every day in their business.  And I am absolutely sure these are not qualifications one seeks in a new employee.

Beware the bearers of resentment in business.

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“We’ve all started to put down the virtues of the other factions in the process of bolstering our own. I don’t want to do that. I want to be brave, and selfless, and smart, and kind, and honest.”

Four <Divergent>

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“Virtue refuses facility for her companion … the easy, gentle, and sloping path that guides the footsteps of a good natural disposition is not the path of true virtue. It demands a rough and thorny road.”

Michel de Montaigne

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Dauntless and being dauntless.

I thought about this after reading this quote from Rob Estreitinho: “Serve the idea. Solve the problem. Everything else is ego talk.”

In order to live your business Life to this ideal one would have to be, well, dauntless.

I love the word Dauntless.

I rediscovered the word in an otherwise incredibly poorly written great story <the Divergent trilogy>.

The book places society into five different factions — each espousing one specific virtue <at the expense of other virtues>.  I imagine one of the points is that making one virtue your Life focus is bad in that we are a complex balance of a number of virtues.

Anyway. The factions are <virtues>:

Abnegation.

Amity.

Erudite.

Candor.

Dauntless.

But it is in the Dauntless idea in which I found something that truly struck a chord.  Something I found valuable to think about. Okay. Not just for me but society, business and people in general.

—

“We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.”

Dauntless Manifesto

—

Well. There is a thought. No. there is a BIG thought. In a me, me, me world <or at least it sometimes feels that way these days>, in a world where if I see something like ‘no one will stand up for you but yourself’, or, hear ‘the only one you can count on is yourself’ one more time, I will begin thinking we have lost our humanity compass (or, at least, lost sight of what is important).

Important?

Ordinary acts of bravery.

Bravery as in everyday actions and not in running into fires to save someone or stepping in front of a bullet.

Bravery as in stepping in front of criticism.

Bravery as in stepping in front of ‘doing nothing.’

Bravery as in stepping in and doing what is right <even if it may not be the easiest thing to do>.

Bravery as in stepping up for an unpopular idea.

Or. How about these words:

“We believe in shouting for those who can only whisper, in defending those who cannot defend themselves.”

I am not suggesting shouting, but rather speaking out for those who only whisper and defending those who cannot defend themselves. This includes ideas.

Look.

The world is made up of a bunch of different people. It is crazy, fucking crazy, to criticize and diminish the people who only whisper or do not always defend themselves. Yeah. We may not like it, we may wish that they stood up and spoke out, but just because they don’t doesn’t make them ‘lesser than.’ It is simply what it is. Accept it. And if you can make a difference, and you want to make a difference; then make a difference. You are no better than the other person, you are simply doing what you do.

In other words. If you are dauntless, then be dauntless.

But, I imagine my real point is, if you have this dauntless virtue than accept the responsibility.

It is who you are and you should be it.

My next point?  Fearless and dauntless are two completely different things.

Dauntless doesn’t mean you do not have fear … it simply means ‘going the way despite maybe having fear.’ Dauntless is a relentless pursuit of what you believe is right.

As Montaigne suggests, it is not an easy gentle slope of living life; it is a rough and thorny road.

I found it interesting that the author of the Divergent trilogy in an appendix suggested the following lyrics to this song captured the essence of what she was writing about <and I thought it also was relevant to being dauntless>:

“Hold on to the world we all remember fighting for

There’s some strength left in you yet

Hold on to the world we all remember dying for

There’s some hope left in it yet

Arise and be

All that you dreamed.

Flyleaf <Arise>

Ah. Arise and be all that you dreamed.

Do we not all dream about standing up for those who cannot stand on their own?

Do we not dream about speaking up for those who can only whisper?

Or defending those who cannot defend themselves?

If that is being Dauntless … well … sign me up.

Now. We may all dream of being ‘that person.’  But that is not for everyone. And it shouldn’t be. Because sometimes being dauntless means you are simply clearing the way, opening the pathway, so someone can get through and do what they do. And what they do is make the world a little more like the world we remember worth dying for.

What does this suggest? Roles & responsibilities. We all have roles & responsibilities.

Regardless. The Dauntless Manifesto has some thoughtful thoughts. Things we should all think about. Things that may remind us of the world we remember worth dying for.

Anyway.  Parts of the Dauntless Manifesto are silly … but it is a poorly written young adult book so just focus on the sometimes breathtaking choice of words:

—————————–

Dauntless Manifesto:

We believe that cowardice is to blame for the world’s injustices.

We believe that peace is hard-won, that sometimes it is necessary to fight for peace. But more than that: We believe that justice is more important than peace.

We believe in freedom from fear, in denying fear the power to influence our decisions. We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.

We believe in acknowledging fear and the extent to which it rules us. We believe in facing that fear no matter what the cost to our comfort, our happiness, or even our sanity.

We believe in shouting for those who can only whisper, in defending those who cannot defend themselves.

We believe, not just in bold words but in bold deeds to match them. We believe that pain and death are better than cowardice and inaction because we believe in action.

We do not believe in living comfortable lives. We do not believe that silence is useful.

We do not believe in good manners.

We do not believe in empty heads, empty mouths, or empty hands.

We do not believe that learning to master violence encourages unnecessary violence.

We do not believe that we should be allowed to stand idly by. We do not believe that any other virtue is more important than bravery.

——————————-

All that said.

Being dauntless is not easy. Its about accepting fear, accepting doubt and accepting your own demons. Or maybe its just about living with them.

—-

”We never lose our demons. We only learn to live above them.”

Dr. Strange

—-

Ok. Here is what I know about living dauntlessly. It sounds like a simple choice but it is not simple. I believe it was Jaime Lannister on the Game of Thrones who explained it the best:

So many vows… they make you swear and swear. Defend the king. Obey the king. Keep his secrets. Do his bidding. Your life for his. But obey your father. Love your sister. Protect the innocent. Defend the weak. Respect the gods. Obey the laws. It’s too much. No matter what you do, you’re forsaking one vow or the other.

No matter what you do, no matter which direction, or fear, or decision, you face; as you turn away from one thing you will end up facing another. You will forsake one thing to deal with another.

What this means to Dauntless is, well, you may as well take action. You may as well do something.

You may as well try to improve your station and lot in Life despite whatever fears you may have.

=====

“If you pay attention to the present, you can improve upon it. And, if you improve on the present, what comes later will also be better…”

Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist.

====

 Look. As I have said a number of times the whole concept, the whole idea, the whole belief, of a fearless person is a lie. It is bullshit.

Sure. Some of the best of the fearless-like dauntless people have an inner fear compass which enables them to navigate fear little better than the rest of us everyday schmucks.

To be clear. They actually have dauntless guardrails which keeps them from chaos of ‘do anything just to do’ which truly only a psychologically screwed up person would ever embrace.  That means they don’t simply ignore fear & doubt; they accept it and manage it.

====

“There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them.”

Andre Gide

====

Look.   I am not suggesting that fear doesn’t exist I am simply suggesting we often permit fear to take on superhuman powers and intergalactic sizes in our minds. I am suggesting seeking to be successful through being dauntless means not eliminating fear but simply making it into bite sized portions more easily swallowed <or however you elect to deal with fear … that was just a suggestion>.

Here’s the deal.

All people fear failure.

Everyone.

Even the dauntless.

And anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.

It’s just that some people set it aside and strive to seek something that lies somewhere beyond the fear. Across the chasm as it were. That is what being dauntless is.

Remember. Fear is defined as the emotional response to an actual or perceived threat of immediate or imminent danger or pain.  The capacity to experience fear is part of human nature that has been hard-wired into us. And it is debilitating to most people. It is a fact that a large number of people suffer the often debilitating impacts of fear and anxiety. They suffer a sense of being overwhelmed and helplessness leading to an inability to take action or make changes.

Interestingly I believe we tend to tie bravery and courage with being able to overcome that helplessness brought on by fear.

Well.

I don’t think that’s right.

In most cases it is more about having the ability to see <or conceptualize> what is somewhere across the chasm and using that as the focal point to step toward. That’s not courage … that is simply focusing on what is important.

Or, let’s say, an ability to focus.

Or, let’s say, an ability to envision possibilities.

Or, let’s say, being dauntless.

The ability to keep going with their plan of action, in spite of feeling scared, because they were generally resolute in their decisions, knew the risks attached to what they were doing and in many cases believed that their actions served a larger cause for a greater good <and they had a chance of achieving an outcome they could be happy with>.

People like that don’t lessen the fear … they simply accept it … and focus on the objective.

But.

Here is the true value of being dauntless: it enhances the chance to provide greater joy and expansiveness in other’s lives.

According to a psychologist quoted in a 2009 Psychology Today: “the inaction that stems from excessive, irrational fears or fear-based thinking often shows up as a decision to live life from a “safe” position and not take risks, even if that means forsaking opportunities that might provide greater joy and expansiveness to one’s life.”

As for being dauntless?

What’s important is the action. We take action all the while seeking our own version of the Dauntless Manifesto.

And maybe that is the important closing thought. “My version of dauntless.”

Being Dauntless is a personal choice, personal decision and personal attitude. Comparing dauntlessness is stupid and wrong.

You version is yours, mine is mine. How we do dauntless isn’t comparable; it should only be judged by your reflection in the mirror. That is the only judge that counts.

“Why am I grown Old in seeking so barren a Reward as Fame?

The same Parts and Application, which have made me a Poet, might have rais’d me to any Honours of the Gown, which are often given to Men of as little Learning and less Honesty than myself.”

=

John Dryden

——-

“I feel like I’ve swallowed a cloudy sky.”

Haruki Murakami

Fame.

Fame is an appealing concept to almost everyone. Hear me out. Even if you are one of those people who say “I don’t want to be famous”, you actually do.  Yup. Maybe not ‘red carpet’ famous, but instead maybe if but for one minute ‘noticed by many’ famous.

At the crux of this mental battle we all have is: at what price would we pay for it … this ‘fame’? What price would we pay even for a sliver of fame?

Would you pay anything for “so barren a reward as fame” as John Dryden characterized it? What is the exchange you are willing to make?

Which leads me to selfies, instagram, pinterest, tumblr, Tiktok … pick one.

In technology’s world of the web we are not seeking our 15 minutes of fame, but our 15 seconds of fame with two paths lying ahead:

<a> hoping it will either turn into 15 days of fame as it gets reposted & discussed & editorialized, or

<b> hoping it turns into nothing … as it is embarrassing in reflection.

Therein lies the challenge of gaining fame … even a sliver.

Anyway. I have a theory about fame. Ok. I actually have two theories.

To be clear, these theories, theorems, postulates, whatever you would like to deem whatever glimpse of brilliance or absurdity within what I share, its my own with no research; just looking around at people and having listened & watched probably a million through my professional career.

First thought.

Genes. Chrissie Hynde <Pretenders lead singer> said this once:

“As far as success goes, I’ve never really got too excited about losing or winning. I don’t have whatever the gene is you need for that. Whatever the gene John McEnroe has, I don’t have that.

I don’t care.”

Some people don’t simply crave fame. It is part of their DNA. It is in their genes. I say this because far too many of us <myself included> mock the fame seekers as narcissistic or shallow or, well, pick your poison, but, the reality is that they simply have a gene we do not.

This doesn’t mean I have to find it likable. It simply means I need to recognize that not everyone is the same. And it also means we need to step back and recognize that fame can be used for good or for bad and that fame, while sought, is rarely controlled by the ‘soughter.’

Second thought.

My sense is that to most of us every day schmucks that the whole concept of fame is simply a means to an end, i.e., a vague concept that really has to do with esteem and self worth.

What?

Yeah.

I tend to believe most of us don’t really want the spotlight for life. We simply want to know that we are worth a shit.

That we are good at something.

Conversely, we fear be mediocre. Ok. Let me clarify. We fear being 100% mediocre and that fear affects how we view ourselves.

Looking at ourselves internally and looking at our selves externally seem to rarely match. We are either inflated with regard to ourselves or we have some deflated view of ourselves.

Neither is good.

“All I ever asked of life was that it should pass me by without my even noticing it.”

Fernando Pessoa

This is where that 15 seconds, or 15 minutes, of fame steps in. A spotlight shows us, even for a glimpse in time, some reality.

Something, well, good.

That we are actually good at something.

That people recognize it.

And that moment is it.

It’s enough.

Most of us don’t desire more than that. Just the validation is enough. We can step back into our lives content and continue the grind. Even if we continue the grind with a slightly livelier step knowing that somewhere someone valued us and our contribution.

And, yes, I am unequivocally discussing fame.

Not the smile of a child, the nuzzling from your dog, or even some very personal soulful evaluation and endorsement of your behavior which can provide valuable value affirmation, but differently than fame.

I am discussing fame as is in the harshest glimpse of society and life.

The unhesitating judgment of a cold and often brutal world. Unbiased personally you know when you walk away you weren’t cheated in judgment.

And in that judgment you were noticed and passed judgment.

“Everyone deserves a standing ovation at least once in their life because we all overcometh the world.”

R. J. Palacio

To be clear. The corrolary to what i just shared is your flaws, mistakes, misjudgements, also can get scritinized in the spotlight. Hence my opening where I offered an A path and a B path. Wander into the spotlight at your own risk.

That said. Fame, using Dryden’s language, it is most often not found in “the torrent of the people” or “the riot of a multitude.” Fame is most often found in a moment where the price is nothing more than facing our insecurities on whether we are good enough.

And, in that moment, the fame pendulum can swing far one way or the other.

We are not good enough.

And the world stands and stares.

We are good enough.

And the world stands and stares.

Simplistically, therein lies the price of fame.

The fact you will find out whether you are good enough. And maybe that’s why we all seek some version of fame at some point. Maybe we all really do want to know the truth; harsh or not. Maybe, just maybe, that is what fame, to the non-egotistical, is really about.

Because attaining a rich reward, or, so barren a reward, is a reward nonetheless.

===

“As societies grow decadent, the language grows decadent, too.

Words are used to disguise, not to illuminate, action: you liberate a city by destroying it.

Words are to confuse, so that at election time people will solemnly vote against their own interests.”

Gore Vidal

===

“The greatest enemy of clear language is insincerity.”

George Orwell

===

Well.  I thought it was time to pull out my thoughts on political correctness. Let me begin with the poster child of political correctness – Merry Christmas. Well. I am not really sure when Merry Christmas got hijacked by Happy Holidays, but I wish I had been there to repulse the hijackers. Look. I am clearly sensitive to responses to Merry Christmas and am more than happy to pull my Happy Holidays greeting out of my seasonal greeting joy bag when appropriate but, in general, most people recognize that I like Christmas in spirit, not spiritually, and I am simply wishing everyone a little bit of the magic we call Christmas during this time of the year. But, frankly, political correctness has made it significantly harder to authentically spread joy by demanding people to actually think about what they will say (I imagine this could be good – be thoughtful before you speak – or it could be bad – takes the spontaneous out of the joy wish). In the end. Where political correctness got us during the holidays is either spew soft joyful platitudes or defiantly stabbing people with a Merry Christmas.

That is where political correctness has taken us. To be clear. I think everyone believes the idea of political correctness has gone too far.

That said. My thoughts today are about that political correctness has beget an even more heinous idea – ‘anti-political correctness’. It has become the flag bearer for anything that anyone wants to say which can span from tactless ignorance to blind ignorance to, at its best, true common sense clarity <called “talking simply” by many people>.

The trouble we are running into is all three of those are amalgamating into one big blob of things being said.

Basically, anti-political correctness is becoming the go-to answer for anything people may object to. What I mean by that is you can now say the stupidest thing known to mankind, someone can point out that it is stupid <even in a tactful way>, and the answer is almost always “I am tired of political correctness standing in the way of truth.”

Basically, we are now facing the backlash to an overextended political correctness from people sick of being told that they have to admit things that they don’t really believe <or think>.

Individuals are realizing they are individuals and that they don’t have to play by the same rules as a large corporation or the ‘pretentious few who try and speak for the many.’ Speaking out has become independent of anything other than “I”, i.e., what is in MY mind, and feel like they will say whatever the fuck they feel like saying. In other words, many people are standing up and saying “I am society so why can’t I speak for society” <as if that was as easy as I just typed>.

Well. Let state the obvious point. Among the many cases in “the problems in the world today”, political correctness isn’t standing in the way of truth; stupidity <or irresponsible thinking & speaking> is. But, and this is a big ‘But’, overreaching political correctness does create a problem and it HAS created a problem in some people’s minds and it is now being released <and some of our leaders are taking advantage of it>.

Look. I am absolutely with many people who suggest political correctness has become a bigger problem than the problem it was intended to try and address. However … maybe … just maybe … instead of ignoring the original good intent of political correctness <encourage tact and sensitivity to others’ feelings around issues of gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, physical abilities/disabilities … among other things> maybe we go back to its original intent and just keep the ground rules a little simpler and stop its invasion into the minutiae of Life and what we say.

We need to keep the ground rules simple because this effort to not offend has spiraled into a type of verbal censorship, certainly has generated conflict and sometimes seems to infringe upon some fundamental freedoms.

We need to take a close look at this <without completely rejecting it> because what constitutes offensive or unacceptable speech has bled into the minutiae in everyday Life approaching simple everyday actions bludgeoning Life into a … well … wussified world.

We need to “fix” political correctness because we do need some harsh truths. We need some ‘edges’ in the world view. We need to discuss them, express them and debate them. We need a little, well, enlightened conflict.

All that said that doesn’t mean that under the guise of some sense of individual sincerity <“I truly feel this way”> that good taste and respectful of what others think & feel has to be sacrificed <this is the balancing act> – everyone should show respect for your audience and any audience you are speaking about.

Words carry some responsibility beyond “what I feel.”

Yet. Political correctness has become a nomenclature for “not being able to speak what you feel” so words start getting thrown around without any thought beyond … ‘this is what I feel.’ Well. Sometimes what we feel is not what we know <knowledge is different than feeling> and what we feel may seem like truth, to us, but it is tainted by everything we do not know <therefore is nothing more than an opinion> and, frankly, sometimes what we feel should be kept to ourselves.

Let’s be clear. We got to this point because many of us were afraid to speak something for fear it offends someone rather than for fear it may actually be stupid, ignorance or just wrong <I say this because this creates misguided thoughts in one’s head on how to correct the situation>. Therefore, by overcoming our fear of offensiveness we simply roar our way into stupidity, ignorance or wrongness under the guise of simple speak or simply speaking our mind.

This also translates into the belief that all of a sudden those who decide to eschew being politically correct have decided they are smart or smarter than everyone else or , at minimum, as smart as everyone else. So smart that they can say whatever they believe and simply point to ‘I refuse to be politically correct’ when challenged over any stupidity they may be spewing.

====

Commenter: JoeAmerica • 4 hours ago

Get off my back libtard, you can’t control my speech.

====

It becomes words of stark harshness because there is no version of modesty, respect or dignity in the harsh backlash to political correctness.  And why should there be any concern for those things when you are simply stating common sense? <that is the logic>. And you get the added bonus of sticking it up the pretentiousness of, well, everyone who has even a tinge of respect for decorum or what someone may truly be offended by.

====

“Political correctness does not legislate tolerance; it only organizes hatred.”

Jacques Barzun

===

We now have organized hatred, anger and frustration. And these organizations <and some leaders words feeding on those organizations> use words that can shame, ridicule, and humiliate … delivered not with the intent to  deliver the shame or ridicule, but to show “my point of view & thoughts should be heard!”

Anti-political correctness has simply tapped into a pent up sense of relief that people can debate and talk in simple terms. Corporate speak and political language and marketing bullshit sayings and even tmotivational speak is dying.

No. It is being killed.

To be clear. All this ‘non political correctness bullshit is not just ‘simple talk’ <therefore the path to solving this issue isn’t simplicity or ‘dumbed down’> it is simply monologue stripped of political correctness.

It is addition by subtraction.

Do I like it? Of course not.

Do I understand it? Yes, I surely do.

It needs to be addressed for the good of society and what is going on in our heads.

Someone can get a grip on this without having to be plain-spoken <which implies ‘dumbing down’>, it can be managed intellectually and smartly because, frankly, the people who are most frustrated with political correctness ain’t dumb.

=====

“Democracy was supposed to champion freedom of speech, and yet the simple rules of table decorum could clamp down on the rights their forefathers had fought and died for.”

E.A. Bucchianeri

=====

Here is why they aren’t dumb.

This is what they see. They see that we are in a bad place with political correctness because if we have to constantly censor any conversation pertaining to race, gender, religion, sexual orientation, or physical ability/disability, then it seems like we will simply bury the issues and perpetuate that what exists in the minds of people without taking the opportunity to confront them. This means in the effort to protect everyone’s feelings we have essentially lost, or willingly sacrificed, the edges and imposed the wretched middle on everyone.

This wretched vacuous middle hinders progress with regard to understanding different perspectives, viewpoints, feelings, and doesn’t really permit the discussion of real life experiences in the harsh light of reality but instead in muted thoughts of what should be discussed.

Anyway. Here is my real fear about this whole political correctness shitstorm.

Inclusiveness versus exclusiveness.

While the intent of political correctness was to make a more inclusive society and rhetoric it is now creating divisive rhetoric in which society is splintering.

While I could argue that it was pious arrogant intellectuals who created the overblown political correct environment we are chafing against, it is the everyday mostly white middle aged people who are now clearly anti-political correct.

=====

The angriest and most pessimistic people in America are the people we used to call Middle Americans. Middle-class and middle-aged; not rich and not poor; people who are irked when asked to press 1 for English, and who wonder how white male became an accusation rather than a description. You can measure their pessimism in polls that ask about their expectations for their lives—and for those of their children.

On both counts, whites without a college degree express the bleakest view. You can see the effects of their despair in the new statistics describing horrifying rates of suicide and substance-abuse fatality among this same group, in middle age.

The Atlantic

======

Regardless what you read about the anti-political correctness crowd <mostly embodied it seems by those who follow Trump around these days> they are not stupid, dumb nor ignorant. Some may have less education than the population median, but since when has education always been a reflection of true smarts <never>.

Yes. It is a mainly white population that is making up the anti-political correctness crowd, but we shouldn’t ignore what they are saying or feeling because of their skin color. Why? Because they have a point.

They are angry & frustrated with how political correctness has infringed upon their lives.

Now … when people get angry or frustrated they say things that they regret <or more likely they just don’t get articulated in the best possible way>.

I think this is pretty much a Life truth.

A lot of today’s frustration with what seems to be overreaching political correctness is being captured in a loud voice fighting back without any debate wordsmithing training other than what you may get sitting at the bar with a group of your friends yelling at each other.

That said. I think it is the responsibility of those in leadership positions to recognize the frustration with political correctness and permit frustrations and anger to be heard and respectfully listened to — the frustrated masses deserve that.

What they do not deserve is to have their anger flame fanned and encouraged. People deserve to be heard and offered solutions not someone simply agreeing with them and offering platitudes.

I think the leaders who will end up being the most successful in this ugly stage of political correctness will be the one who leads us to the proper respectful place – where we respect the fact that not all people believe in the same things, that all people have the right to believe in different things and say different things, that simply having a different point of view doesn’t mean you are an outcast, ignorant or stupid just that you view things differently and, finally, that there is balance.

It will be within balance that we will finally encounter inclusiveness and not divisiveness.

Let’s handle this discourse with some respect & dignity. Everyone deserves that. I don’t need a leader talking down to me and, frankly, I don’t need some leader suggesting my frustrations are the source of the problems of the world or my country.

Political correctness hasn’t created shit for problems other than it makes discussing things more difficult. Simply pointing that out isn’t a leader’s job. A leader offers solutions in a respectful way. They offer solutions to a group of people no matter what point of view they have. They speak TO the people without demeaning the larger view of ‘what we should be’ as people.

In the end. Political correctness has created some problems, but it is not a problem (despite what some politicians suggest). It hasn’t directly created what some idiots call “the cancel culture”, but, indirectly, anti-political correctness yahoos are actually canceling out voices. The intent behind political correctness actually does have good merit – forcing society to face some harsh truths. What I would now suggest is we talk about some of those harsh truths rather than cancel them out.

** note: This does not mean everyone can say whatever they want wherever they want. Lies or, worse, heinous activity, shut not be permitted a platform. Eliminating their platforms is not political correctness nor is it censor, it is consequences for bad behavior.

This is not censorship. This is consequences.

==========

updated from December 2015

====

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.”

Winston Churchill

====

Merry Christmas everyone … and to celebrate I will go back in time a little.

My gift to everyone who visits Enlightened Conflict this year is that I share the most famous gift a writer has given Christmas … the answer to the letter to the editor to “Is there a Santa Claus?”

Go back in time, but please don’t lose your sense of child wonder in what makes Christmas so great in the present.

=====

Is There A Santa Claus?
Editorial Page, New York Sun, September 21, 1897

We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:

Dear Editor,

I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, “If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.” Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O’Hanlon

———

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except what they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy.

Alas! How dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias.

There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus? Thank God! He lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

—————————-

Wonderful words any day … wonderful words for today.

Merry Christmas.

————–

“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”

George Carlin

——

Well. I am not sure if there is anything I get more shit about from business people <friends & acquaintances> than how I don’t charge people for helping them fix their business.

My personal business philosophy elicits a lot of discussion around ‘my worth’ and ‘value I provide’ and lots of ‘people will take anything if it’s for free.’ All well intended thoughts grounded in some aspects of truth.

Simplistically I avoid most of the thinking they all bring up because, well, I am not charging what I am worth because I am often not charging anything.

Here is what I have said on my LinkedIn page <which it seems I have to send gobs of people to as I try and explain how I charge what I charge … uhm … or don’t charge>:

Consulting:

I assist anyone who asks – in any industry and with any project. Compensation is only received if I provide value. I don’t believe in being compensated for something that has no value to them <even if I thought it may have had some value>.

Projects have included assisting small business operations, chamber of commerce assistance, advertising new business, creative thinking, organizational behavior, business strategy, key note speeches, think tank opinion papers and provided thought pieces to assist published authors on a variety of topics including foreign affairs, capitalism and the youth, business leadership, education and the internet, youth unemployment and obesity.

—

Apparently, by doing what I am doing, I am breaking some common sense business rules.

1 – Offering services for free <at least initially>.

2 – Not offering a specific service or expertise.

However, because I am breaking both rules at the same time I would suggest there is some logic. I am certainly a wandering generalist which burdens me under the cloak of generality, but certainly not a commodity. My generalist services, while difficult to offer in specifics, is clearly not something anyone and everyone can do which makes it a non-commodity. Therefore, I can charge some premium rates if I am engaged in a compensation discussion.

And while I get shit I clearly see the risk and the opportunity.

The main risk resides in the fact I am not a specific solution for a specific problem/issue.

The opportunity resides within the risk, I become a known quantity for solving shit, usually getting a business unstuck, that ‘specialists’ seem to struggle resolving.

The secondary risk is that … well … I never get paid. But I could argue, and I will later in the post, that risk only exists if I suck (i.e., I cannot get them unstuck).

Anyway. I certainly cannot argue with those who coach specifics as the path to selection & success. It is certainly the easier path. In addition it aligns performance & payment neatly so that I could most likely offer an invoice upfront and earn the money as I went along.

=====

So many times I see people jumping into a niche and being vague about what it is they do. They’re a marketing consultant. They’re a life coach. They’re a writer. The thing is, people don’t hire wandering generalities.

They hire outcomes. They pay for specific solutions to specific problems, and if it’s specific enough (and positioned correctly), they pay premium rates.

Dave Navarro <The Launch Coach>

– note: I believe he offers some good solid advice –

=====

My path is … well … my path. On my path I clearly understand any value that I do, or may, offer is basically a function of two things:

– The value the potential payer sees

– The value in terms of the ultimate outcome <if it generates sales, revenue or some measurable aspect>

Note neither of those pertains to my labor, solely value received <perceived and actual>.

Also note that neither of those is reflective of hours.

Sure. Time <labor> is a component, but haggling over will it take 5 minutes, 5 hours or 5 days seems silly when the outcome is the prize.

I will say that as a ‘generalist unstuck specialist’ 90+% of the time I can clearly understand the amount of money I could help make the potential payer. Present outcomes as well as future outcomes. And it’s because of that the reason I take the jobs that I do is typically because I see the potential and I enjoy making potential reality. I assess if I CAN help them, and only consult those I think I can bring real value to.

** note: there is a psychological aspect to being a ‘fixer’ in that most of us believe everything can be fixed; and not everything can be fixed.

Ok, frankly, invoicing someone or charging someone is a shitload easier if you have provided something they value and they can envision the final value of the service provided <rather than speculated or ‘hoped for’ value>.

And, frankly #2, if they don’t see the real value of services provided, most business people feel a responsibility & obligation to pay for the effort and will typical default to the “I want to pay you for the time you invested.”

Notice the default is ‘time.’ Default is labor and not thinking or ‘incremental value above just doing.

But I imagine the real point is I actually get to charge what is basically a percentage of what the other person gains from my time and output – that is real value.

Look. I certainly have no fear of charging. How I go about business may mean I ‘give away’ more free 15 minute increments than I do charge 1 hour increments, but as long as I feel the ‘asker’ has valued what I brought to the table I am happy to help.

I also find if my advice & solutions & work is ignored then it actually does feel like wasted time and it swiftly moves, in my mind, from ‘no charge’ to ‘I have no time’ <or if my time is actually demanded for some reason – because why would anyone demand time they don’t see value in … but some do – I will charge>.

Do I leave some income on the table? Sure. I am sure I do.

Do I feel full value in the money I do earn? Absolutely. Because I didn’t set the value, the person who receives the services did.

Does this create value in myself – as in my esteem or belief in myself? Absofrickinlutely.

I am confident in my business abilities, but that doesn’t absolve me of any doubt, in fact, I tend to believe the good confident people who know their shit HAVE a strong thread of doubt which keeps them grounded from being arrogant business fools.

Getting paid not just because I cranked out some invoice permits me the luxury of external stimulus directed feedback.

Do I recommend this business philosophy to everyone? Absolutely not.

But I get to speak with more people in a wide variety of industries, globally, then almost anyone I know.

Sometimes that ‘speaking’ is 15 minutes of ‘here is what I would do’.

Sometimes it is 15 hours of in depth research and output.

Sometimes I get paid <without charging>.

What I do know for sure is that opening my email inbox every morning is fun and never boring. What I do know for sure is while I am certainly not swimming in money my brain gets to swim every day. I am always open for business but, more importantly, I am always free to think.

==================

“as pines

keep the shape of the wind

even when the wind has fled and is no longer

there.

So words

Guard the shape of the man

Even when the man has fled and is no longer there.”

–

Giorgios Sefririacles

==============

I do believe business can drive social change, but I don’t believe “consumers are demanding business to lead societal change.” In fact. It is articles like this, “Consumers demand business drive Social Change” which makes cringe.

First. In general people feel like business, & capitalism, is increasingly flawed and want something better. This will drive ‘business needs to change how they do things’ and consumers, in general, will flail about with ideas on how this can and should be done and, in fact, in their flailing they may suggest businesses will have more value to them if the business steps up to the plate. That seems valid. Unfortunately, most people want things and then need things. Need will overshadow want 90% of the time. Businesses would do well to keep that in mind.

Second. This thought has become misguided simply because of all the aspects being tossed around & poorly defined terms (all of which dangerously blurs this discussion).

• social responsibility
• environmental
• purpose
• ethics
• inclusiveness
• diversity
• political issues

Any and all are tossed out. Any and all are meaningful to discuss. Any and all, today, are thrown into this mosh pit of ‘social purpose’ of meaninglessness.

Let me be clear. Again. I do believe business SHOULD be involved in society. Ok. maybe I believe business should be aware of their role in society. The difference in those two sentences may define my issue with this entire discussion.

A business should reflect upon the ethics of their behavior (but not necessarily publicize it).

A business should reflect upon what they value and their principles (but not necessarily communicate them outside the walls of the company)

A business should reflect upon their impact on the environment (but not necessarily market it).

A business should reflect upon their diversity, inclusiveness, etc (but not necessarily publicize it).

A business should reflect upon whether they have a culture which enables individual Purpose and job meaningfulness (but not confuse that with a dubious business Purpose nor should they necessarily publicize it).

I am not going to talk about Purpose versus purpose today.

But I do think we need to talk about being genuine because that is at the core of this ‘business should assume some social responsibility.”

Genuine, just like sincerity and honesty, is not a value or a mission or a vision; it just is (or it isn’t). You are either it or you are not. That matters because it is the foundation for any responsibility for society a business decides to either take on or simply play a role on.

This almost becomes a business truth. Not an industry truth, but an individual business truth.

You look in the mirror and set your mind to who & what you are and what you are capable of.

I would suggest that this ‘Truth’ involves, and does not involve, not only a change in mind, in attitude, but also a change in behavior. Let me explain the ‘involve, does not involve’, thought.

It shouldn’t involve because it should simple be part of who and what you are. It cannot be ‘made up’ or ‘something I think we should pursue.’ This is part of the whole ‘it just is’ thing.

However.

It should involve because once you have decided you want to do something and want to be seen as someone who does something, consistency is the name of the game. In the beginning you have to be very cognizant of truthful behavior & actions. Behavior involves responsibility: responsibility for actions and words. In other words. Responsibility for the truth you may ‘genuinely’ embrace makes this genuineness become incredibly important because there cannot be any ‘true compromise’ of truth.

I will point out here that I believe compromise may be the biggest enemy of truth; not lies (including lies to yourself or to employees or to customers or, worse, to society your business extends out to).

Anyway.

My point is that your truth doesn’t move and yet it moves. Truth is in and of itself a rock. Steady and solid and with weight <gravitas>. And yet truth evolves with time simply passing through the different faces of the past and the future. Just remember. If you can replace your truths, or let’s say society can by picking them apart, they were simply lies.

———————

“The truth is not just something we bring to light to amuse ourselves; the truth is the axis munid, the dead center of the earth.  

When it’s out of place nothing is right; everyone is in the wrong place; no light can penetrate. Happiness evades us and we spread pain and misery wherever we go.

Each person, above all others, has an obligation to recognize the truth and stand by it.”

Jacque Silette

===

I worry this whole business social responsibility ignores the fact genuine truth is a burden. On the other hand. I believe society, culture and people are starved for genuine truth.

We don’t need a revolution. We need someone and someones to guide us back to it. And that is where business can play a role. And I would argue all businesses can play a role. I would argue this because it isn’t a marketing thing nor is it a public thing it is simply an extension of what Peter Drucker told us decades ago: a business is PART of society. It isn’t a thing you do or some initiative nor a marketing program (or, worse, some brand purpose or even a Purpose), it just is. It is recognizing that a business is part of the fabric & weave of society. It is recognition that what you ask of your employees should be something they should feel exhibits some genuine truths they can exhibit at the kitchen table. It is a recognition that behavior within the business walls bleeds out into behavior within society walls.

This isn’t brand purpose, this isn’t business purpose and this isn’t ‘inside out branding’. This is simply understanding the burden of responsibility a business bears a PART of society & community.

This also isn’t about some grand narrative or some grand gesture. For 90% of businesses this is simply the small gestures and genuine acts promised & delivered every day.

In the end.

We need two things:

A purpose to do, and, things we do are  good things

Truth & genuine heroes.

Purpose to do. Talk is cheap and actions should be measured relentlessly and ruthlessly.

Truth & genuine heroes. I struggle to remember the last time a business was called a hero or heroic.

Truth is a burden. It is a responsibility.

Being genuine is actually a burden. It is a responsibility.

Maybe its time business, while not ignoring the fact they are in the business of making money & profits, stepped back and maybe thought about heroic profit making – where heroism benefited society.

Regardless.

None of this is easy. The discussion or actually doing it. But. I tend to believe it is just the right thing to do. It isn’t the easy path, therefore, it is ultimately in the purview of few. And maybe that is my point. We keep talking about this in an “everyone” way when the reality is it will most likely remain in the hands of the few, the proud and the strong. And that’s okay.

Why?

As pines bend to the wind they maintain their shape once the wind has fled. Maybe the pines will show the forest what it means to maintain their shape despite the wind.

=====

“… it’s time for me to push you out of your comfort zone. It’s time for you to be 100% honest with yourself.

You’ve had your entire adult life to accomplish your financial goals.

I’m looking at your profile and you’re not even close to where you need to be, much less where you want to be.

It’s time you fix your broken plan, bring in Mr. Trump’s top instructors and certified millionaire mentors and allow us to put you and keep you on the right track. Your plan is BROKEN and WE WILL help you fix it.

Remember you have to be 100% honest with yourself!”

———–

Trump University Playbook

=====

“It is never hopeless. But sometimes I cannot hope. I try always to hope but sometimes I cannot. “

—

Ernest Hemingway

=============================

“Do you like living paycheck to paycheck? … Do you enjoy seeing everyone else but yourself in their dream houses and driving their dreams cars with huge checking accounts?

Those people saw an opportunity, and didn’t make excuses, like what you’re doing now.”

———-

Trump University Playbook

=======

Ok. Let’s address the elephant in the room. We all, all of us, believe we deserve some things.

Yeah.

Deserve.

Opportunity in Life. Keep what we have. Earnings for work and more earnings if we believe we are producing ‘harder work.’ Happiness. All of those things, plus, whatever you may want to add.

I state that as a Life truth so I can talk about the responsibility of a ‘promiser of things’ to us. Because if what I have outlined in the ‘deserve column’ is a Life truth, an accepted attitudinal thread in society, then someone seeking to tap into that thread bears a responsibility.

So let me talk about this responsibility.

An empty promise may be the worst promise someone can ever offer you.

I sometimes call it “false hope.”

** note: offering an empty promise can have different depths ranging from seemingly well intended (to inspire some positive action) to outright lie (snake oil salesman)

And let me be clear. Lots of people, myself included, find any promise of hope so attractive that it is incredibly easy to not look behind the promise to see if it is full or empty.

Inevitably, people receptive to empty promises are people most likely to feel a need. And when I say “feel” it can very easily edge into the personal “what I deserve” mental space.

This is also a very common space for a lot of people. We see the promise and look around us and, well, say things like:

“I am smart enough.”

“I am capable of this.”

And.

“I deserve this” as much as anyone else (particular the ones I am looking at who have it)

In the marketing and behavior world this is called “managing the need perception.” Conceptually, the higher someone drives up someone’s “I need” attitudes, the more likely they are see ‘something’ instead of ‘empty’ in the promise.

At its core this is not about risk in choices <the downside to my choice>. This is more about embracing hope <the upside of my choice>. And that is where ethics and morality come into play for the ‘promiser.’

I feel qualified discussing this because the majority of my business career has been all about ‘offering promises and hope for something.’

You learn very very quickly that as a promiser you can sometimes become blinded to the potential emptiness aspects of what you will offer and there is a natural allure to focusing solely on potential of the ‘better or best’ aspects of what you will offer. I imagine the decision on what to do with your promise is a combination of integrity and true business. Because, yeah, I want people to buy my shit, i.e., to see the promise that resides within what I have to offer. And, yet, experience shows you thru customer feedback and the retail clerks dealing with past buyers and online forums that not everyone you sold your promise to actually had their hopes met.

Those weigh on you.

Well. They weigh on you if you have any ethical compass.

The ones who have no, or little, compass are the ones who adamantly state one of two things :

• Some people are not happy with anything <”they are being unrealistic”> – i.e., “ignore the bitching”
• Look at how many people are not saying anything bad – i.e., “the sales justifies my behavior”

Look. I am not suggesting this is as easy as I just pointed out. As someone who has sat in boardrooms and looked at increasing sales and complaints and reviews it is incredibly easy to justify your own beliefs in your own products, services or company.

It is inherent in your business acumen if you are even worth a half a shit because part of what most likely makes you successful in business is belief in yourself, your business and your idea.

That said.

The best of the best business people constantly weigh how they manage what people think and what they are going to be asking someone to do when they make their personal commitment to your business, product & idea.

The majority of us business schmucks wander somewhere in the middle. Sometimes getting it right and sometimes getting it wrong <in the balance>, but inevitably our pendulum swings mostly in the middle of fairness, honesty and ethical.

The worst of the worst, the snake oil salespeople, never weigh what they are asking people to do and solely focus on ‘promise fulfilled’ … and damn the ones who didn’t, or couldn’t, attain the promise of what could be.

I admired the first group. They had figured out how to be steadfastly ethical and successful in business. Kind of the no compromise, in a good way, candidate.

I struggled to deal with the last group. They believed a sale was a sale, any profit was good and the burden of responsibility resided solely on the buyer.

All that said.

Trump is a snake oil salesman.

Just as a reminder, during the depression when times were hard people bought snake oil as a hopeful salve for whatever was troubling them.

They were con men dedicated to an unethical targeting of a slightly naïve, hard working, mostly struggling but good hearted people who desired some easy salve for some of their ills.

And, yeah, someone could argue “buyer beware.” But that is at its core … well … bullshit. Sellers actually have, and should have, more responsibility than the buyer. A seller, more often than not, knows what someone can afford and what they cannot afford as well as whether their hopes are even in the realm of possibility.

This means if as a promiser you see that they have little or no chance and that a bad decision on the buyer’s part would have a high likelihood of not only not delivering upon their hopes but actually could tangibly negatively affect their lives, the promiser has a responsibility, no, an obligation to do what is right.

Using Trump as the example I could suggest he is only really guilty of unethical opportunism. However, I would actually suggest he is guilty of 2 things:

<1> assuming his life objective should be the life objective of everyone <winning is all that matters>, and

<2> moral relativism – which he disguises within what he calls ‘not political correctness.’

All that said. Opportunism, at its core, is directly related to what we people believe we deserve. We people inherently build blocks on which we stand of things we believe we deserve.

The basics: food, health, education, place to live.

But it gets a little trickier once we actually get, and have, something. We believe we deserve what we work for and once we attain something that ‘level’ is the new normal for ‘I deserve.’ That is something psychologists call “hedonic adaptation.” And this happens at all income levels because anyone at any level can feel stretched or challenged economically <while still actually being rich beyond belief in terms of what is available to all of us 24 hours a day>.  All people are seemingly continuously seduced by the urge to acquire, and acquire more, and indulge <when the opportunity arises>. All people attach the thought of ‘deserve’ once they have acquired some level, some things or some status. You earned it <in your mind> therefore it is yours.

I don’t have anything against it. And I certainly understand the psychology of ‘once you have something not only do you not want to not have it anymore … but you want more’ <or the next step up>.

Money leads to lifestyle upgrades. But, once again, that is fraught with conflict. Once you achieve the income you desired … well … you go back to desiring more. And imagine if you become stagnant? Yikes. Our natural ‘adaptation’ anger kicks in.

But this also means that people inherently overreach because we try and reach out for ‘more than what I have.’ We inherently believe we are smart enough and capable enough to be better than what we are today.

Uhm.

If only we had the opportunity.

This belief, oddly enough, is exacerbated by failure <sometimes>. The more we fail when attempting to reach something we believe we inherently deserve, well, we will overreach even more to compensate for the time we didn’t have what we deserved <psychology research shows this>.

** note: this entire concept gets exacerbated if one does not have money, tried to work, and, yet, seemingly opportunity is always slightly out of their grasps or they feel like opportunity may have once existed but no longer exists. this idea would be at the core of what some people call “white class victimization.”

And this is where the true slippery slope of unethical opportunism rears its ugliest head. What this means is that unethical opportunism is most often driven by digging into what we believe we maybe not deserve, but what we would naturally attain if given the opportunity <this is a sly version of ‘deserve’>.

Most of us simply feel we deserve a chance. Deserve a chance for something better. The ‘degrees’ of what someone feels they will deserve will vary by person. And suffice it to say there will always be a group of people who believe they deserve significantly more than what they have and because of it will roll the dice <although they will not see it as much of a gamble as someone else>

But the bottom line is that 99% of us feel we deserve something better.

Which leads me back to Trump. The Trump ‘promise’ sounds big and luxurious and exclusive, but it fails the majority and rewards the minority – the majority being the everyday American and the minority actually being the wealthy (or some specific niche segment of people because he is a transactional segmentation snake oil salesman).

Frankly. In a country in which maybe our most impending problem is massive inequality between the haves and the have nots that is a recipe for disaster.

At minimum … it is guaranteeing false promises to the majority.

And Trump gets a little worse in this scenario than the typical ‘empty promise’ seller. A president cannot simply promise people wealth, opportunity for growth if they invest in him, cash their check as they cash in on the ‘promise’ and then ignore their ultimate result <success or failure> while moving on to the next scheme or promise.

Well. He could. Shit. He has <in business>.

But that is not what presidents or good leaders do.

And it certainly is not what America deserves.

In the end.

When you feel like you are getting screwed or that the system is rigged in some way against you, your sense of ‘I deserve more & better’ is heightened.

We all do it.

It is difficult to fight that feeling.

And, you know what? Sometimes we will not be successful fighting the “I deserve” monsters in our heads.

And maybe that is my biggest point.

A good leader knows we will not be successful fighting them off all the time and will not take advantage of our weakness.

Trump, all his career, has fed off the carcasses of this weakness. I don’t mean weak people just the natural weak moments in human nature.

He is a taker.

The world will always have takers and the world will always fall for takers. That doesn’t make being a taker good. Nor does being a taker mean you would be a good leader.

=====================

“I believe the world is divided in three groups: givers, takers and the few that can balance both impulses. If you are a giver, it is wise to define your boundaries because takers will take what you allow them to; all givers must learn to protect that about themselves or eventually, there is nothing left to give.”

Tiffany Madison

=========

Look. Here is the biggest problem with trying to sell empty promises.

It builds cynicism and erodes hope.

While I could certainly highlight ‘lost lives’ I will instead highlight ‘killing hope.’ That is the biggest price we pay for buying empty promises.

And, I have to tell you, that is why I hate, abhor and despise people who purposefully, and knowingly, sell empty promises and false hope.

We all deserve opportunities. And we all deserve receiving something as a result of hard work.

We do not deserve empty promises.  And we certainly do not deserve someone who suggests a future in which the majority will most likely, eventually, sit back in their worn chairs and think: ‘sometimes I cannot hope. I try always to hope but sometimes I cannot.’

Remember. Someone seeking to tap into our thread of “I deserve” feelings bears a responsibility. That main responsibility is to our hope. Someone who steals our hope is not worthy of us, or our vote.