=========

“They can betray me, but I choose not to betray my peace of mind.”

Dodinsky

===============

I can honestly say I have never been betrayed by anyone.

Well.     Okay.     Maybe.

Sure.

Some people have disappointed me in their choices & actions … but … either I have never done anything bad enough that was worth being betrayed for <… uhm … I am fairly sure I have some betrayable items I have done strewn throughout my past so that’s not it> or I haven’t considered what someone has done as ‘betrayal’ or worthy enough to be truly deemed “betrayal worthy.”

Now.

It is quite possible I define betrayal differently than a lot of other people.

Because <part 1> I would guess I could go back to high school and examine some ‘friendship betrayal’ thing … which … well … in viewing as an adult would probably look fairly absurd <even though it may have felt like betrayal at the time>.

Because <part 2> I imagine I could examine some past relationship and assess “betrayal” upon it … which … well … in viewing honestly & realistically was simply an act within a relationship that wasn’t what it was cracked up to be anyway <and inevitably doomed regardless>.

Because <part 3> maybe I refuse to hold a grudge, if even for a short amount of time, because someone has disappointed me.

====

    “I’m all about unforgiving and hating and holding grudges because it keeps me safe and mentally healthy and I don’t care about your stupid feel-good quotes about forgiving everyone everywhere always so you can take your feel-good emotionally manipulative apologist bullshit and shove it”

(via sailingaugust)

=====

This isn’t because I believe in any of the stupid feel good quotes <because I have gone on record publicly on my blog that I believe it is mostly bullshit>.

This isn’t because I believe in any feel good emotionally manipulative apologist bullshit <also have gone on record publicly about this>.

It is because … well … people are people, people are human, and there are two sides to any story.

Here is what I know for sure.

If you give anyone ample opportunity they will sometimes disappoint you.

If you give anyone ample opportunity they will sometimes surprise you.

Suffice it to say people, in your Life, are no better or any worse than people somewhere in someone else’s life.

And, to me, betrayal is tossed around far too flippantly.

People are not monsters nor do they constantly seek to disappoint or ‘betray.’

I could argue that if you stopped for just one second, and maybe think about the fact that each and every one of those same people you are disappointed in are all heroes in their own story – a story that they write every day – well, it’s kind of hard to attach “betray” on someone unless you are pretty selfish.

Selfish in that your story is more important than their story.

And, yet, we all see betrayal come to Life in a variety of ways dependent upon our age and where we are in life.

High school in friends we trusted.

Business in coworkers we trusted.

Relationships in partners we trusted.

Betrayal, in almost all forms or fashion, seems to reside in some unstated contract – a contract with Life.

Think about it. Almost everyone wakes up every day with a contract with the day in front of them. The contract consists of being concerned about their own drama Life and their own ‘things’ rather than whether they should become involved, or not involved, in anything else.

Does that make them someone a betrayer because in doing so they disappoint you?

Well.

Yes and no.

Yes in that people do have contracts with other people. It is not solely an “I” world.

And, yet, no. No in that even at their worst of worst “I” behavior even the monsters don’t see monsters reflected in the mirror.

I try and remember all of that every day.

In my mind betrayal is inevitably a very personal thing. Personal in that it is about having a piece of you either broken or sliced away.

Yeah. It can sting a little.

But it is just a piece and the piece does not define the whole.

==============

“I decided, enough pain …. I was not the woman who breaks into pieces under the blows of abandonment and absence, who goes mad, who dies.

Only a few fragments had splintered off, for the rest I was well. I was whole, whole I would remain. To those who hurt me, I react giving back in kind.

I am the queen of spades, I am the wasp that stings, I am the dark serpent. I am the invulnerable animal who passes through fire and is not burned.”

Elena Ferrante

==================

Yeah.

Maybe someone has betrayed me at some point in my Life.

Maybe I would see it as such if I viewed it as many people would traditionally view betrayed and betrayal.

But maybe people would be better served by viewing betrayal as I do because, well, let me go back to where I began and my 1^st sentence: I can honestly say I have never been betrayed by anyone.

That is my peace of mind.

I have passed through any and all fires of betrayal and not been burned.

Sure seems like a shitload of people would be happier in Life if they could say that.

But that’s me.

Ponder.

================

“I had,” he said, “come to an entirely erroneous conclusion, my dear Watson, how dangerous it always is to reason from insufficient data.”

–

Sherlock Holmes

<The Adventure of the Speckled Band>

================

“When we get better understanding or the facts or evidence don’t agree with the theory we must change the theory and change course.””

–

Sherlock Holmes

============

“… when you hear hoof beats behind you don’t expect a zebra.”

–

proverb

===================

So. “I believe” may be two of the most dreaded word you can hear in today’s world. Those two words may be this century’s version of throwing down a gauntlet or challenging someone to a duel.

“I believe” has been bastardized in today’s world to actually mean “I know” <but people have convinced themselves if they soften it with ‘I believe’ people will think they are more open to listening and true discussion>.

Facts matter. And they matter a shitload not only with truth but in the battle between I know and I believe. The problem is that while facts are facts — two facts can coexist in the pursuit of “I know.”

Shit.

The truth is that truth, the unequivocal kind, is most likely borne of let’s say 8 facts <I made that number up>, coexisting, which when arranged into a pattern make up an unequivocal truth. This means unequivocal truth, or let’s call it good solid “I know”, is made up of a puzzle of facts and not just one fact or even two.

The practice of Truth is actually a profession of facts.

Using legalese for binding of contracts “by means of facts, truths are created and beliefs come into existence.” Yet, in spite of all good intentions, the meanings of individual facts are not always clear and unequivocal. They may be capable of being understood in more ways than one, they may be doubtful or uncertain, and they may lend themselves to various interpretations by different individuals.

Following that thought, this means, when differences in understanding are not resolvable, divides in “beliefs” occur and dysfunction, in terms of lack of progress, occurs.

Once again, in legal terms, this is called “ambiguity.”

Paradoxically enough, the word ambiguity itself has more than one interpretation. The general meaning has to do with how things are said, the words that are used, by someone and how those words are understood. Ambiguity occurs where the two are not in alignment. The lack of alignment actually springs back upon the facts themselves in a vicious way — the fact itself comes into doubt.

Sigh.

But facts are facts. The problem isn’t about the fact, but rather most truths are more complex than equating it with one fact. Unequivocal truth is grounded in … well … 8 facts <once again, I picked 8 out of the air but you get the point>. This problem gets compounded by how people elect to actually use facts.

Using my 8 let me tell you what I mean. The expert, the most knowledgeable, will stack up the 8 facts from top to bottom in order of priority, but all relevant to making and truth unequivocal.

Then we, the non-experts, get in the game.

Some of us use the highest priority fact, say #1, and that is all.

Some grab the facts we want, in the order we want, and create the truth we want.

Some may actually use the 8, but decided to prioritize them in a different order <which may net out to a slightly different ‘truth’ conclusion than the expert who lined them up properly>.

All are using facts. Most are using them improperly or in an incomplete way. And, inevitably, 90%+ end up with an “I believe” and not an “I know” stand.

I know. I know. We all wish truth could be easier and, in fact, many people flippantly suggest truth is simple <or simpler than we make it out to be>. Here is what I know about that. Using the thought I used upfront in this piece “… when you hear hoof beats behind you don’t expect a zebra.”

Well. An expert, maybe a horse trainer, could hear the hoof beats and tell you with 95% confidence the breed, the weight and the type of horse coming up behind you. The dreamer will suggest it could be a unicorn. The pragmatic will narrow it down to a horse, zebra, antelope or some 4 hoofed animal.

Truth is less than simple and more in need of facts than we like to admit.

Yes.

The trouble with unequivocal truth is that it usually takes ‘one more step than you think’ to get there. Unfortunately, the truth about this is most of us don’t make it there.

We stop short.

And I tend to believe most of us know we are stopping short. We like the facts that we have but we, at the same time, know there are most likely some more out there that could be useful. We have 3 or 4 and decide the remaining 4 or 5 are just not that necessary. I guess we bank on the fact, if we stop short, we have at least grabbed the top 3 or 4 most important facts in an unequivocal truth. Good enough or enough to make it ‘sensible.’

Yikes. Dangerous thought.

It’s dangerous in believing we have the most important ones of the ones we decided is enough, but possibly even more dangerous is that we confuse an unequivocal truth for a simple “I believe” thought.

It is dangerous because “I believes” tend to reside in the negative space. Huh? If you only snag 4 of the 8 necessary facts the debate can never be resolved as the back & forth ends up in the blank spaces around the discussion. Truth is constructed more often by what was not found than what was found <look at what I didn’t point out versus what I did point out> – that is negative space truth.

Uhm. That is not unequivocal truth.

In fact … it poisons the unequivocal truths in a misdirection of specious comparisons.

I would suggest that more of us should pay attention to negative space.

Why? Negative space is usually indicative that a fact is missing. 99% of negative space can be filled with a fact <if only we looked hard enough for it>.

All that said. Truth is the axis munid … the dead center of the earth.

=============

“the person who pretends to not see the truth is committing something much worse than a mortal sin, which can only ruin one’s soul – but instead committing us all to lifetimes of pain. The truth is not just something we bring to light to amuse ourselves; the truth is the axis munid, the dead center of the earth.

When it’s out of place nothing is right; everyone is in the wrong place; no light can penetrate. Happiness evades us and we spread pain and misery wherever we go.

Each person, above all others, has an obligation to recognize the truth and stand by it.” 

Jacque Silette 

================

 I believe, no, I know the world would be a better place if more of us took that thought seriously. Because if we did than maybe we wouldn’t stop short of the unequivocal truth destination. Maybe we wouldn’t settle for an “I believe” thought and confuse it with a real “I know” thought. And maybe if we did there would be less discussion of alternative facts and more discussion about unequivocal truths on which we could center ourselves on.

“I had,” he said, “come to an entirely erroneous conclusion, my dear Watson, how dangerous it always is to reason from insufficient data.”

Geez. If Sherlock Holmes says that sure as shit more of us should be saying it <and I don’t think we are>.

Unequivocal truth exists.

They exist as surely as Santa Claus <yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus >.

We just have to want to get there and not be satisfied by stopping short and feeling good about the facts we gathered … short of the ones we need to reach unequivocal.  I don’t know that 8 facts create an unequivocal truth is the right formula, but I sure as shit believe it is on the right path to getting there. 

Going back into the ‘wayback machine’ because Trump never really seems to go away – he is kind of like ‘the gift that keeps giving’ (gonorrhea). Here is the quote of the day from 2016 presidential candidate Donald Trump:

“What do I know?” Trump replied. “All I know is what’s on the internet.”

Well.

This actually explains a lot.

Credible sources track Trump comments/claims he made in 2015/16 running at about 75% false (it never stopped for 5 years). But maybe we know why. He clicks on Wikipedia or urban dictionary or instagram <scanning an image with some quote or factoid> or Fox or Newsmaxx and then tweets it out or parrots it in on-air interviews.

He has no credible sources, he never has, and he just makes shit up or maybe even worse, he doesn’t truly think about what he believes.

Ok.

Now ponder this Trump wisdom oldie, but goodie.

 

“I’m speaking with myself, number one, because I have a very good brain and I’ve said a lot of things. My primary consultant is myself and I have – you know, I have a good instinct for this stuff.”

Well, Donald, that sounds quite reasonable. It’s not as if the world, let alone the Middle East, Ukraine, the South China Sea, is particularly complex or that there are nuanced delicate diplomatic situations or even that it is important to get it right. I imagine just going on instinct makes sense. Or maybe go on the internet because there you will surely find all the answers you will need.

<note some heavy sarcasm there>

When I read what he said at that time I thought of a Samuel Adams quote:

—-

“If ever time should come, when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in Government, our country will stand in need of its experienced patriots to prevent its ruin.”

Samuel Adams

——

With Trump we faced a vain man, maybe the vainest of vain, maybe even one with Narcissistic Disorder, and an aspiring man – one who aspires with no rules, no boundaries, seemingly no moral imperative, or any trivial nuisance that could get in the way of a win.

Back in March 2016 I stated it this way:

He appears, alarmingly so, to be free of any actual solutions.

He appears to be free, alarmingly so, of any real policy <beyond his ‘good instincts for this stuff.”

He appears to be free,  alarmingly so, to offer frighteningly hollow rhetoric.

He is the ruin, not of the country <we will still be standing despite him>, but he is the ruin of what makes the country great <which is not simply ‘winning’ as he suggests it is>.

In my little corner of the world I did everything in my power to convince everyone of the sham Trump is and what he offered.

Why?

I will refer to Samuel Adams again <and let everyone who has not spoken out yet think about these words>:

—

“… the necessity of the times, more than ever, calls for our utmost circumspection, deliberation, fortitude, and perseverance. Let us remember that “if we suffer tamely a lawless attack upon our liberty, we encourage it, and involve others in our doom.” It is a very serious consideration, which should deeply impress our minds, that millions yet unborn may be the miserable sharers of the event.”

Samuel Adams in The Boston Gazette 14 October 1771

—

Speak out now. For what we say, and do, today has an impact, an impact that millions yet unborn may be the miserable sharers of the event.

We seek to circumvent the miserableness for the millions yet unborn.

Well. I wrote the original of this in March 2016. One could suggest, given Trump’s resilient fan base, that I failed in my efforts to make people understand what a sham he is, and was. I say that because while I had hoped the exhausting 5 year Trump episode of stupid West Wing was cancelled, it has not and I forge on discussing Trump, trying to make people understand one by one, and walking people through how a grifter is not only what they want but what America needs. I share this today because silence is not an option and simply ignoring him will not make him, or his believers, go away. Festering wounds do not go away on their own. I am not asking everyone to walk the same path I am, just ponder.

========

Toby Ziegler <West Wing>:

“We don’t know what the next president is going to face. If we choose someone with vision, someone with guts, someone with gravitas, who’s connected to other people’s lives and cares about making them better; if we choose someone to inspire us then we’ll be able to face what comes our way and achieve things we can’t imagine yet.”

———-

——–

“Interestingly, Koi, when put in a fish bowl, will only grow up to three inches. When this same fish is placed in a large tank, it will grow to about nine inches long. In a pond koi can reach lengths of eighteen inches. Amazingly, when placed in a lake, koi can grow to three feet long. The metaphor is obvious. You are limited by how you see the world. “

Vince Poscente

———

So. I almost called this ‘lost and found.’ 

———

“We all get lost once in a while, sometimes by choice, sometimes due to forces beyond our control. When we learn what it is our soul needs to learn, the path presents itself.  Sometimes we see the way out but wander further and deeper despite ourselves; the fear, the anger or the sadness preventing us returning. Sometimes we prefer to be lost and wandering, sometimes it’s easier.  

Sometimes we find our own way out.

But regardless, always, we are found.”

Cecelia Ahern

——–

 Life, and understanding ourselves, is very often found in uncovering the obvious. This is the stuff that is so damn obvious and yet seems to get lost among all the other shit we have to do on our to do lists and what people tell us we should be thinking about <and sometimes even how we should think>.

And then … once in a while … we get a little lucky … and that which is lost among the blindingly obvious … is found.

We learn what it is we need to learn about ourselves and, well, ‘the path presents itself.’

Now. Let me be clear on two things.

First. This is nothing like uncovering the obvious in business. Business is where the idiots attempt to make the obvious extraordinary.

In personal life we are oblivious as to how the obvious is our extraordinary.

** note: this should make people think about how often we confuse what is important in Life and important in business

I find it painfully funny that in business we strive to make the obvious ordinary extraordinary <going to some relatively absurd levels to do so> and in personal life we strive to make the obvious so extraordinarily ordinary <going to some relatively absurd levels to do so>.

Second. This is not about all those studies and videos where they have a frickin’ gorilla walk thru a bunch of people playing basketball and you ask people to tell you how many passes were made and a majority of people do not even see the gorilla.

That is about seeing what you expect to see.

This is about ignoring, or dismissing, the obvious.

All that said.

I do not know one person who has not felt lost at some point in their Life. They may only glimpse ‘lostness’, they may be stuck in ‘lostness’, they may visit the vast array of ‘lost options’ in between, but everyone has visited some version of ‘lost.

It is the most visited vacation spot in the world.

And while visiting this hellacious vacation spot you invariably start looking anywhere and everywhere for clues on how to get out of this self defined hellhole.

And therein we find ourselves discussing the obvious and the overlooked.

We tend to seek out the details and pay attention to the small <if not minute> details and nurture these details in our heads <sometimes nurturing them to a point which enables them to grow to some disproportionate huge size> seeking something which could be regarded as “what makes us unique” and simply disregard the obvious.

—

It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

Mae West

—

Regardless.

Yes.

Details matter.

Yes.

When staring at your navel seeking inner truth there are a bunch of little things that can matter.

Yes.

In reality major changes can most often be found by discovering the most obvious and accepting the obvious as meaningful.

Yes.

It’s amazing how often we miss what’s right in front of us, the things we just don’t notice, even when they’re staring us in the face.

So.

How does his happen?

Our brains take in millions of bits of information every minute and we have this filtering system which attempts to make reason of everything without making us insane and, yet, that filtering system seems to work a little too well with regard to some of the most obvious things. Our brains have a built in innate ability to overlook the obvious as so obvious it must be meaningless < with regard to ‘why I think the things I do or why I do the things I do’>.

The obvious is simply the expected. And maybe think of ‘the expected’ in two ways:

–          Expected as unremarkable.

I begin with his because if we believe the expected is unremarkable, we naturally zoom by them delving deeper or at least somewhere else for ‘the remarkable.’ Our brains tell us the obvious things about us CAN”T be remarkable so there has to be something else! <most people say pleadingly>.

–          Expected things are flaws.

Oddly we almost always look at the obvious as our imperfections — the flaws and weaknesses that make us ‘lesser than’ in some form or fashion.

We do this instead of looking at the obvious, the sometimes seemingly ‘blah’ aspects of ourselves or the surface imperfections, as the things that make us distinct, maybe unique, and often remarkable in our own way.

All that said.

Suffice it to say self awareness is tricky.

Tricky in that while we may have good intentions we can tend to focus on the wrong things.

Or maybe worse?

Simply remain oblivious to the right things.

And the right things?

Sometimes they are simple.

The obvious stuff.

Maybe we should be taking a closer look at the obvious to better gain some self awareness.

Maybe we don’t need to invest so much energy delving any further than the obvious.

Maybe we should practice thinking about ‘what haven’t I noticed that might be worth noticing?’

Maybe we just need to take a look at some of the most obvious things right in front of you.

Look. I am not a betting man, but you can bet your ass there’s at least one that you’ve been oblivious to.

It is a Life truth that the most obvious things can disappear in front of our eyes and the most obscure seems to so often step into the spotlight.

We seem to prioritize obscure over obvious.

Uh oh.

Prioritizing one thing and neglecting everything else are two sides of the same coin.

===

“I lie to myself all the time. But I never believe me.”

S.E. Hinton

===

The main example in everyday life is the grind. The grind is overlooked, but obvious. In the digital age of ‘overnight’, often obscure, but obvious, success stories in the grind are easily overlooked.

Yes.

We are constantly overlooking much of the world around us and no, there is nothing mysterious about it. The key is to realize that this is just what attention is – selectivity. For a brain has a relatively infinite computing power, but we tend to put a telescope focus on one thing which means picking up less information about everything else. That’s how we are able to concentrate on anything at all and shut out distractions.

Oddly, uncovering the obvious may simply come down to discerning intent versus reality. When seeking self awareness we tend to have some idealized intentions which demeans reality. And by demeaning <or diminishing the importance of> reality it often makes personal insights seem impossible to find in obvious things <i.e., it cannot be insightful if it is obvious>.

Well.

That is just damn silly.

Whole truths and actionable insights are more often found in the obvious.

The most obvious windows will provide the best views.

We learn what we learn about ourselves through not ignoring the obvious, but seeing the obvious as it really is and by doing so the path presents itself.

And circling back to the opening thought, maybe the most important thought is that which is lost can be found in the most obvious.

Ponder.

============

“I have tried in my way to be free.”

——————

Leonard Cohen

====

Ok. Occam’s Razor. You know: “the simplest explanation is usually the best one.”

Developed by 14th-century English Franciscan friar William of Ockham, Ockam’s Razor <more commonly spelled Occam’s razor>, suggests one should seek the ‘more economical solution.’ What he actually wrote <in Summa Logicae 1323> was “it is futile to do with more what can be done with fewer.”

Well.

This fabulous concept has been hijacked, twisted into a pretzel and, in general, bastardized under the insidious guise of ‘common sense’ logic.  It has been hijacked under the whole idea that ‘freedom’ is more often found in simplicity or the simplest explanations and , therefore, in a way those who use the concept in a misguided way are … well … bastardizing Life itself <and screwing up business in the business world>.

Yeah. Somehow … somewhere … someone decided that good ole Occam’s razor could be used day in and day out as ‘common sense living.’

I would point out that Ockham himself, a philosopher, wasn’t a big fan of simplistic common sense.

I would further point out that Ockham’s razor theory was based on, all things being equal, the simplest explanation is usually the best one.

I would also point out that by “simple” Occam’s razor is really referring to the theory with the fewest new assumptions.

And, in fact, I would also point out that inevitably there are times when the simplest explanation for a given set of observations is, well, wrong.

Occam’s razor never claims to determine the truth or untruth of something. It only identifies the things we should logically consider and evaluate. Common sense, under the guise of simplicity, far too often strips, well, an idea, a concept, a process & a theory — of the texture & hues of which they should be judged.

The truth is that black, or white, is overrated … as in ‘this is a black or white thing.” The most interesting things and, frankly, the most effective ordinary things & ideas are neither black nor white nor even gray.

Complexity is a colorful idea & thought.

Therefore. Should we view Occam’s Razor the way skeptics use it we would find that their ‘one explanation is more likely’ not only doesn’t mean it is a common sense black & white issue, but it also tends to mean that the ‘common sense solution is not only not common nor of sense’. More importantly, common sense also commonly suggests the incorrect solution.

Skeptics <or ‘simplify or die’ seekers>, in their attempt to simplify everything, treat Occam’s Razor as if it were an actual “Law of things” and use it to enable denying any rational claim, no matter how valid, based on … well … common sense. Occam’s Razor is not a ‘law’, simply a ‘rule’ of thought or a principle for which to think about things.

Look. It was not meant to be anything associated with ‘common sense.’ Instead it was about making choices and deductions economically. Occam’s razor was never meant for paring everything down to some beautiful simplistic core of truth.

The truth is that most things are, unfortunately, difficult and messy – even complex. And, yes, I can absolutely see why someone would gravitate to the good ole razor with the intent to simplify. But Ockham’s razor was not intended to cut away anything & everything or eliminate logic it simply suggested that when everything is done, when everything has been thought of, and if all things were equal, you should look to the most economical solution as the one which made the most sense.

No, not common sense, but rather ‘the most sense.’

Or. As Tao Ching said; “seek simplicity, grasp the essential.’

Occam’s razor does not mean eliminating the essential no matter how complex or burdensome the essential it is.

Why? Well. We certainly do not want to make things more complicated than they need to be, but you also do not want to simplify so much that losing something essential ends up ‘under complicating’ things. And this is where common sense and the whole simplicity thing really screws up good ole Occam & the razor.

Pretty much any great theory, any great concept, any great idea has to incorporate what I would call ‘intentional simplification.’ That is intentionally ignoring some things <some effects or causes of things> not because they do not exist or do not actually happen, but because they do not have any impact or much of an impact on the final outcome. Conversely, this means some idiot <or a bunch of them> are going to wander around picking up all the non essential things and say “common sense suggests your conclusion is flawed because you ignored these things.”

WTF.

“I purposefully, intentionally, ignored them … as meaningless in the grander scheme of things.”

In some absurd version of their world their ‘simple common sense facts’, well, over complicate things. They use Occam to … holy shit … complicate things. Uh oh. They actually use common sense to … holy shit part 2 … complicate things.

As I said back in September 2013 when I first used Occam’s razor: sometimes what is … is … well … just is.

Yeah. That may be the paradox that ‘common sense’ struggles with – sometimes the simplest explanation is complex and maybe even ambiguous and your job is to make it understandable, not simple.

Look.

Occam does not nor should it take sides on any given issue.

Occam does not nor should it shame a complex issue out of existence.

People who ignorantly wield Occam’s Razor often seem to be unaware of this.

To wield it incorrectly is a lazy tactic at best.

To wield it incorrectly is usually a reflection of ignoring the crucial question … whether there really is a need for the questioning.

Shit. That alone is Occam’s largest suggestion — should I slice away questioning what is?

Anyway.

Where the lazy Occam users gain confidence is that Occam, at his core <albeit I did not know him personally> was a nominalist maybe even a minimalist. But even the most simplistic minimalist recognizes that analysis of anything truly worthwhile is likely to be incredibly complex — even at its simplest.

While I love simplicity, I will admit, the utility of Occam’s Razor is highly questionable. I fear that its misuse flippantly eliminates the useful by selecting over-simplified competitors. Occam’s razor is simply a heuristic or rule of thumb which should be used to guide discussion but not to offer a solution. All it does is to encourage us to favor, among otherwise equivalent theories or hypotheses, those that make the fewest unwarranted assumptions.

It is not a law.

It is not a scientific principle.

It cannot justify a position in and of itself.

It does not represent common sense.

Maybe everyone should remember only one thing about Occam’s razor that really matters — the razor analogy refers to “shaving off” or cutting from the theory those variables or concepts that are superfluous & non-essential and only create unnecessary complications. Maybe everyone should remember before they invoke Occam’s Razor as common sense that it is more important to identify ‘the essential’ as true common sense decision making.

In the end?

“I have tried in my own way to be free.”

Far too often people do so by attempting to simplify. They assume, through common sense, that less is better & less is more. And, in some ways, that is true, but not at the expense of what is essential & needed. Complexity is a Life truth. Freedom of choice, of living or almost anything is more often found in an “economical truth” and not in a ‘simplistic truth.’

Ponder that for a while.

==========

<

p style=”text-align: center;”>Originally published August 2016

============

“A ship in harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are for.”

John Shedd

============

“The arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice.”

MLK

===

 The arc of history is irrelevant to most of us. Ok. Maybe better said is that we are relatively indifferent to the arc of history.

Most of us get up, drink our coffee and get going doing what we need to do that day. In doing so we cannot see any fucking arc, we just see what is in front of us. The arc can only vaguely be seen when we look at the news or talk with friends or maybe see some high falutin’ presentation on trends that supposedly impact our business in terms of sales and shit like that.

And we wonder why the world can seem so cold sometimes? Geez. That is our view for the most part. It is our daily grind (responsibilities) interspersed with some outside news filtering in for some perspective.

I would suggest any arc seems like it can almost be a straight line rather than any arc we can see. It can sometimes seem like a straight line of no change, or, a lot of bad shit with small drops of good shit mixed in.

But that’s not reality. The reality is that time and … well … our lives … do arc.

Just like when you are a ship in a harbor thinking about leaving the horizon looks flat and finite. And, yet, once you leave the harbor you realize that the horizon was simply a reflection of where you were and where you stood and that the reality was the world, the universe, arcs and bends to things you could not see from where you once stood.

Yeah. Sometimes that is hard to see.

Yeah. Sometimes we don’t have any time to think about it.

Yeah. But we should … at least on occasion. Because the arc occurs whether we see it or not. You have to be able to figure out how to get done whatever has to be done or the arc will show you what has to be done <or at least the context within which you will make your choices of what you will do>.

Look. I buy the fact that the arc of time bends toward justice. But I think it neglects to point out that people inevitably define the arc. It neglects to point out justice, or ‘good’, is not simply part of the ether, but resides in the hearts & minds of people. Well. What that means is the arc resides within us. All of us. Not just someone standing up in front of us trying to tell us what the arc is or should be.

I sometimes think we mistaken society, a country or a civilization is like a big tanker and we hire someone or elect some to jump onto the bridge of the ship and lead it out of the harbor. That is not so. You would be mistaken to think that. Each one of us is a little ship. We are a fleet of a variety of ships, boats and scows restlessly bobbing in the harbor from which we can actually leave or stay as we wish.

When we hire a leader, or elect someone, we – we little fleet of ships – are actually seeking a flagship. Someone who dares to leave the harbor and lead us over the arc of the horizon. Lead us beyond the current routes we take, lead us beyond the fishing grounds we have always used and lead us to new lands that maybe we had only heard of before.

But. We, we little fleet of ships, also control the voyages because within the hearts & minds of each of the captains resides justice and what is good & right and decide to follow, float or seek freedom.

Therefore we control the arc and bend of justice. No leader does.

I will suggest, consciously or subconsciousnessly, people tend to follow, or guide, based on justice therefore the arc will bend — sometimes too slowly — toward the goodness which resides in humankind. Just like a ship in harbor looking out from a harbor that goodness can sometimes be difficult to see when looking at the horizon but, I can guarantee this, if you leave the harbor it is easier to see.

“Why am I grown Old in seeking so barren a Reward as Fame?

The same Parts and Application, which have made me a Poet, might have rais’d me to any Honours of the Gown, which are often given to Men of as little Learning and less Honesty than myself.”

=

John Dryden

——-

“I feel like I’ve swallowed a cloudy sky.”

Haruki Murakami

Fame.

Fame is an appealing concept to almost everyone. Hear me out. Even if you are one of those people who say “I don’t want to be famous”, you actually do.  Yup. Maybe not ‘red carpet’ famous, but instead maybe if but for one minute ‘noticed by many’ famous.

At the crux of this mental battle we all have is: at what price would we pay for it … this ‘fame’? What price would we pay even for a sliver of fame?

Would you pay anything for “so barren a reward as fame” as John Dryden characterized it? What is the exchange you are willing to make?

Which leads me to selfies, instagram, pinterest, tumblr, Tiktok … pick one.

In technology’s world of the web we are not seeking our 15 minutes of fame, but our 15 seconds of fame with two paths lying ahead:

<a> hoping it will either turn into 15 days of fame as it gets reposted & discussed & editorialized, or

<b> hoping it turns into nothing … as it is embarrassing in reflection.

Therein lies the challenge of gaining fame … even a sliver.

Anyway. I have a theory about fame. Ok. I actually have two theories.

To be clear, these theories, theorems, postulates, whatever you would like to deem whatever glimpse of brilliance or absurdity within what I share, its my own with no research; just looking around at people and having listened & watched probably a million through my professional career.

First thought.

Genes. Chrissie Hynde <Pretenders lead singer> said this once:

“As far as success goes, I’ve never really got too excited about losing or winning. I don’t have whatever the gene is you need for that. Whatever the gene John McEnroe has, I don’t have that.

I don’t care.”

Some people don’t simply crave fame. It is part of their DNA. It is in their genes. I say this because far too many of us <myself included> mock the fame seekers as narcissistic or shallow or, well, pick your poison, but, the reality is that they simply have a gene we do not.

This doesn’t mean I have to find it likable. It simply means I need to recognize that not everyone is the same. And it also means we need to step back and recognize that fame can be used for good or for bad and that fame, while sought, is rarely controlled by the ‘soughter.’

Second thought.

My sense is that to most of us every day schmucks that the whole concept of fame is simply a means to an end, i.e., a vague concept that really has to do with esteem and self worth.

What?

Yeah.

I tend to believe most of us don’t really want the spotlight for life. We simply want to know that we are worth a shit.

That we are good at something.

Conversely, we fear be mediocre. Ok. Let me clarify. We fear being 100% mediocre and that fear affects how we view ourselves.

Looking at ourselves internally and looking at our selves externally seem to rarely match. We are either inflated with regard to ourselves or we have some deflated view of ourselves.

Neither is good.

“All I ever asked of life was that it should pass me by without my even noticing it.”

Fernando Pessoa

This is where that 15 seconds, or 15 minutes, of fame steps in. A spotlight shows us, even for a glimpse in time, some reality.

Something, well, good.

That we are actually good at something.

That people recognize it.

And that moment is it.

It’s enough.

Most of us don’t desire more than that. Just the validation is enough. We can step back into our lives content and continue the grind. Even if we continue the grind with a slightly livelier step knowing that somewhere someone valued us and our contribution.

And, yes, I am unequivocally discussing fame.

Not the smile of a child, the nuzzling from your dog, or even some very personal soulful evaluation and endorsement of your behavior which can provide valuable value affirmation, but differently than fame.

I am discussing fame as is in the harshest glimpse of society and life.

The unhesitating judgment of a cold and often brutal world. Unbiased personally you know when you walk away you weren’t cheated in judgment.

And in that judgment you were noticed and passed judgment.

“Everyone deserves a standing ovation at least once in their life because we all overcometh the world.”

R. J. Palacio

To be clear. The corrolary to what i just shared is your flaws, mistakes, misjudgements, also can get scritinized in the spotlight. Hence my opening where I offered an A path and a B path. Wander into the spotlight at your own risk.

That said. Fame, using Dryden’s language, it is most often not found in “the torrent of the people” or “the riot of a multitude.” Fame is most often found in a moment where the price is nothing more than facing our insecurities on whether we are good enough.

And, in that moment, the fame pendulum can swing far one way or the other.

We are not good enough.

And the world stands and stares.

We are good enough.

And the world stands and stares.

Simplistically, therein lies the price of fame.

The fact you will find out whether you are good enough. And maybe that’s why we all seek some version of fame at some point. Maybe we all really do want to know the truth; harsh or not. Maybe, just maybe, that is what fame, to the non-egotistical, is really about.

Because attaining a rich reward, or, so barren a reward, is a reward nonetheless.

===

“As societies grow decadent, the language grows decadent, too.

Words are used to disguise, not to illuminate, action: you liberate a city by destroying it.

Words are to confuse, so that at election time people will solemnly vote against their own interests.”

Gore Vidal

===

“The greatest enemy of clear language is insincerity.”

George Orwell

===

Well.  I thought it was time to pull out my thoughts on political correctness. Let me begin with the poster child of political correctness – Merry Christmas. Well. I am not really sure when Merry Christmas got hijacked by Happy Holidays, but I wish I had been there to repulse the hijackers. Look. I am clearly sensitive to responses to Merry Christmas and am more than happy to pull my Happy Holidays greeting out of my seasonal greeting joy bag when appropriate but, in general, most people recognize that I like Christmas in spirit, not spiritually, and I am simply wishing everyone a little bit of the magic we call Christmas during this time of the year. But, frankly, political correctness has made it significantly harder to authentically spread joy by demanding people to actually think about what they will say (I imagine this could be good – be thoughtful before you speak – or it could be bad – takes the spontaneous out of the joy wish). In the end. Where political correctness got us during the holidays is either spew soft joyful platitudes or defiantly stabbing people with a Merry Christmas.

That is where political correctness has taken us. To be clear. I think everyone believes the idea of political correctness has gone too far.

That said. My thoughts today are about that political correctness has beget an even more heinous idea – ‘anti-political correctness’. It has become the flag bearer for anything that anyone wants to say which can span from tactless ignorance to blind ignorance to, at its best, true common sense clarity <called “talking simply” by many people>.

The trouble we are running into is all three of those are amalgamating into one big blob of things being said.

Basically, anti-political correctness is becoming the go-to answer for anything people may object to. What I mean by that is you can now say the stupidest thing known to mankind, someone can point out that it is stupid <even in a tactful way>, and the answer is almost always “I am tired of political correctness standing in the way of truth.”

Basically, we are now facing the backlash to an overextended political correctness from people sick of being told that they have to admit things that they don’t really believe <or think>.

Individuals are realizing they are individuals and that they don’t have to play by the same rules as a large corporation or the ‘pretentious few who try and speak for the many.’ Speaking out has become independent of anything other than “I”, i.e., what is in MY mind, and feel like they will say whatever the fuck they feel like saying. In other words, many people are standing up and saying “I am society so why can’t I speak for society” <as if that was as easy as I just typed>.

Well. Let state the obvious point. Among the many cases in “the problems in the world today”, political correctness isn’t standing in the way of truth; stupidity <or irresponsible thinking & speaking> is. But, and this is a big ‘But’, overreaching political correctness does create a problem and it HAS created a problem in some people’s minds and it is now being released <and some of our leaders are taking advantage of it>.

Look. I am absolutely with many people who suggest political correctness has become a bigger problem than the problem it was intended to try and address. However … maybe … just maybe … instead of ignoring the original good intent of political correctness <encourage tact and sensitivity to others’ feelings around issues of gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, physical abilities/disabilities … among other things> maybe we go back to its original intent and just keep the ground rules a little simpler and stop its invasion into the minutiae of Life and what we say.

We need to keep the ground rules simple because this effort to not offend has spiraled into a type of verbal censorship, certainly has generated conflict and sometimes seems to infringe upon some fundamental freedoms.

We need to take a close look at this <without completely rejecting it> because what constitutes offensive or unacceptable speech has bled into the minutiae in everyday Life approaching simple everyday actions bludgeoning Life into a … well … wussified world.

We need to “fix” political correctness because we do need some harsh truths. We need some ‘edges’ in the world view. We need to discuss them, express them and debate them. We need a little, well, enlightened conflict.

All that said that doesn’t mean that under the guise of some sense of individual sincerity <“I truly feel this way”> that good taste and respectful of what others think & feel has to be sacrificed <this is the balancing act> – everyone should show respect for your audience and any audience you are speaking about.

Words carry some responsibility beyond “what I feel.”

Yet. Political correctness has become a nomenclature for “not being able to speak what you feel” so words start getting thrown around without any thought beyond … ‘this is what I feel.’ Well. Sometimes what we feel is not what we know <knowledge is different than feeling> and what we feel may seem like truth, to us, but it is tainted by everything we do not know <therefore is nothing more than an opinion> and, frankly, sometimes what we feel should be kept to ourselves.

Let’s be clear. We got to this point because many of us were afraid to speak something for fear it offends someone rather than for fear it may actually be stupid, ignorance or just wrong <I say this because this creates misguided thoughts in one’s head on how to correct the situation>. Therefore, by overcoming our fear of offensiveness we simply roar our way into stupidity, ignorance or wrongness under the guise of simple speak or simply speaking our mind.

This also translates into the belief that all of a sudden those who decide to eschew being politically correct have decided they are smart or smarter than everyone else or , at minimum, as smart as everyone else. So smart that they can say whatever they believe and simply point to ‘I refuse to be politically correct’ when challenged over any stupidity they may be spewing.

====

Commenter: JoeAmerica • 4 hours ago

Get off my back libtard, you can’t control my speech.

====

It becomes words of stark harshness because there is no version of modesty, respect or dignity in the harsh backlash to political correctness.  And why should there be any concern for those things when you are simply stating common sense? <that is the logic>. And you get the added bonus of sticking it up the pretentiousness of, well, everyone who has even a tinge of respect for decorum or what someone may truly be offended by.

====

“Political correctness does not legislate tolerance; it only organizes hatred.”

Jacques Barzun

===

We now have organized hatred, anger and frustration. And these organizations <and some leaders words feeding on those organizations> use words that can shame, ridicule, and humiliate … delivered not with the intent to  deliver the shame or ridicule, but to show “my point of view & thoughts should be heard!”

Anti-political correctness has simply tapped into a pent up sense of relief that people can debate and talk in simple terms. Corporate speak and political language and marketing bullshit sayings and even tmotivational speak is dying.

No. It is being killed.

To be clear. All this ‘non political correctness bullshit is not just ‘simple talk’ <therefore the path to solving this issue isn’t simplicity or ‘dumbed down’> it is simply monologue stripped of political correctness.

It is addition by subtraction.

Do I like it? Of course not.

Do I understand it? Yes, I surely do.

It needs to be addressed for the good of society and what is going on in our heads.

Someone can get a grip on this without having to be plain-spoken <which implies ‘dumbing down’>, it can be managed intellectually and smartly because, frankly, the people who are most frustrated with political correctness ain’t dumb.

=====

“Democracy was supposed to champion freedom of speech, and yet the simple rules of table decorum could clamp down on the rights their forefathers had fought and died for.”

E.A. Bucchianeri

=====

Here is why they aren’t dumb.

This is what they see. They see that we are in a bad place with political correctness because if we have to constantly censor any conversation pertaining to race, gender, religion, sexual orientation, or physical ability/disability, then it seems like we will simply bury the issues and perpetuate that what exists in the minds of people without taking the opportunity to confront them. This means in the effort to protect everyone’s feelings we have essentially lost, or willingly sacrificed, the edges and imposed the wretched middle on everyone.

This wretched vacuous middle hinders progress with regard to understanding different perspectives, viewpoints, feelings, and doesn’t really permit the discussion of real life experiences in the harsh light of reality but instead in muted thoughts of what should be discussed.

Anyway. Here is my real fear about this whole political correctness shitstorm.

Inclusiveness versus exclusiveness.

While the intent of political correctness was to make a more inclusive society and rhetoric it is now creating divisive rhetoric in which society is splintering.

While I could argue that it was pious arrogant intellectuals who created the overblown political correct environment we are chafing against, it is the everyday mostly white middle aged people who are now clearly anti-political correct.

=====

The angriest and most pessimistic people in America are the people we used to call Middle Americans. Middle-class and middle-aged; not rich and not poor; people who are irked when asked to press 1 for English, and who wonder how white male became an accusation rather than a description. You can measure their pessimism in polls that ask about their expectations for their lives—and for those of their children.

On both counts, whites without a college degree express the bleakest view. You can see the effects of their despair in the new statistics describing horrifying rates of suicide and substance-abuse fatality among this same group, in middle age.

The Atlantic

======

Regardless what you read about the anti-political correctness crowd <mostly embodied it seems by those who follow Trump around these days> they are not stupid, dumb nor ignorant. Some may have less education than the population median, but since when has education always been a reflection of true smarts <never>.

Yes. It is a mainly white population that is making up the anti-political correctness crowd, but we shouldn’t ignore what they are saying or feeling because of their skin color. Why? Because they have a point.

They are angry & frustrated with how political correctness has infringed upon their lives.

Now … when people get angry or frustrated they say things that they regret <or more likely they just don’t get articulated in the best possible way>.

I think this is pretty much a Life truth.

A lot of today’s frustration with what seems to be overreaching political correctness is being captured in a loud voice fighting back without any debate wordsmithing training other than what you may get sitting at the bar with a group of your friends yelling at each other.

That said. I think it is the responsibility of those in leadership positions to recognize the frustration with political correctness and permit frustrations and anger to be heard and respectfully listened to — the frustrated masses deserve that.

What they do not deserve is to have their anger flame fanned and encouraged. People deserve to be heard and offered solutions not someone simply agreeing with them and offering platitudes.

I think the leaders who will end up being the most successful in this ugly stage of political correctness will be the one who leads us to the proper respectful place – where we respect the fact that not all people believe in the same things, that all people have the right to believe in different things and say different things, that simply having a different point of view doesn’t mean you are an outcast, ignorant or stupid just that you view things differently and, finally, that there is balance.

It will be within balance that we will finally encounter inclusiveness and not divisiveness.

Let’s handle this discourse with some respect & dignity. Everyone deserves that. I don’t need a leader talking down to me and, frankly, I don’t need some leader suggesting my frustrations are the source of the problems of the world or my country.

Political correctness hasn’t created shit for problems other than it makes discussing things more difficult. Simply pointing that out isn’t a leader’s job. A leader offers solutions in a respectful way. They offer solutions to a group of people no matter what point of view they have. They speak TO the people without demeaning the larger view of ‘what we should be’ as people.

In the end. Political correctness has created some problems, but it is not a problem (despite what some politicians suggest). It hasn’t directly created what some idiots call “the cancel culture”, but, indirectly, anti-political correctness yahoos are actually canceling out voices. The intent behind political correctness actually does have good merit – forcing society to face some harsh truths. What I would now suggest is we talk about some of those harsh truths rather than cancel them out.

** note: This does not mean everyone can say whatever they want wherever they want. Lies or, worse, heinous activity, shut not be permitted a platform. Eliminating their platforms is not political correctness nor is it censor, it is consequences for bad behavior.

This is not censorship. This is consequences.

==========

updated from December 2015

  ===

“Choose your corner, pick away at it carefully, intensely and to the best of your ability and that way you might change the world.”

Charles Eames

—–

So. This is most likely a bookend post to my “where are you going?” thought piece which was directed to younger people. This is directed to the 50somethings who actually figured out, as well as anyone can, where they wanted to go … and went there.

To be clear. This is not about “was this not what I wanted”  — that is about questioning direction. This is actually about, well, assessing value for the direction you chose and the direction you have no, or few, regrets over.

That said.

What happens if you believe you have something of value to offer the world, and you actually did it and earned a consistent living and … uhm … you find yourself in a place and time where, well, you aren’t sure you have anything to show for it?

It’s not that you weren’t good at what you did <you may have actually been pretty good>.

It’s not that you didn’t earn some good salaries <you may have actually earned higher than the norm>.

It’s not that when viewing your professional resume you sucked <because others can view it and think ‘huh, that’s good stuff’>.

It’s not that your personal life is strewn with divorces or negative broken relationships <because you can actually look around and see some good friends, look at past relationships as generally good and your current personal life relatively healthy>.

It’s not that you don’t look out at the whole world and think “I have no value moving forward” <because you most likely feel like you have something to offer given the right situation>.

It’s not even that you are unhappy <because, in general, you view most days in a relatively optimistic way>.

In fact, taking all of that into consideration you can look at your life and say “I knew where I wanted to go and, in general, I did a pretty good job getting there.”

But.

Let’s say that the average American worker/person most likely has worked about 60,000 hours or so by the time they are 50 <a lower income worker/person who scrambles to earn enough most likely has worked about 70,000 hours – and earned less – and someone like me who likes their work and is a quasi-workaholic will have worked closer to 90,000 hours> and your current steady current annual income is enough to get by, but certainly not more than enough to pay bills and the random expenses that come up.

And you have some debt, no savings and, well, financially there is no room for much more than basics because, while professionally successful, you find yourself in a position where you can now relate to people in poverty <in some ways> in that you are constantly preparing for the next inevitable expense.

Life isn’t bad.

But.

You wonder what you have to show for it all.

You don’t dwell on it but it’s a niggling feeling especially if you did work hard, you did it the right way and you actually did some good shit on occasion.

I imagine this is nothing like fantasizing about being rich.

And I imagine it has little to do with regrets.

It simply revolves around effort expended and gains to show for that effort.

The truth is life, in general, almost always equates to some type of value equation – did I receive acceptable value for the cost incurred.

Most of us are fairly content with a nine-to-five job and people like me who love what they do are actually happy with an 8 to 6+ job and most of us realize we will never buy some island or even have some extraordinarily luxurious vacation when it is all said and done.

But.

I imagine everyone, excepting the wealthy, stop at some point and think “what do I have to show for it all?”

I imagine everyone, excepting the wealthy, stop at some point and realize that rest is a luxury only for the rich and retirement doesn’t mean doing nothing — just maybe something different.

Look.

Life naturally causes you to question yourself and feel like there is some grand design out there to frustrate and defeat you.

And you know what?

Most of us recognize it isn’t easy, and that it sucks to have to brush off the inevitable natural disappointments which occur even if you have worked hard and tried to do the right thing and conduct yourself with integrity, but we, more often than not, just get up and get going again. And we do that without really questioning ourselves. It is just what you do and what Life demands.

So.

That said.

But.

But you wonder about your worth professionally or personally when you don’t really have a lot to show for it.

It is basically a value question.

This is about that someone, sitting at home some nights, saying to themselves … “What the fuck do I have to show for what I did?”

Its just the pragmatic basic formula to assess value.

Someone asks themselves “what I did”:

Over 60,000 hours worked.

Some good titles on your resume.

Some great memories.

Add in some other positives.

And then they sit back and look around at today.

Materially, tangibly, you may have diddleyshit.

Professionally, you may be in a diddleyshit position.

Financially, you may have diddleyshit.

And in that time, in that place, in that mental space it can be fairly easy to view “what do I have to show for it all” as … well … diddleyshit.

And I imagine viewing it that way … well … sucks.

I imagine at this point I could sagely lean back in my chair <assuming the chair was a recliner> and wisely place my hand under my chin and sigh … and say:

“you have made a difference in other people’s lives through your integrity driven actions … you personally have memories, experiences and successes to show for it all … reflect upon that … oh … and you are a good person.”

But I won’t say that.

Because while that may be true, it is bullshit in this time place and situation for someone in this position.

Its bullshit because more often than not people will view this “what I put into Life and what did I get out of that effort” in a fairly selfish way. In other words:

“what does it matter if I was a good person if I don’t have diddleyshit to show for it?”

To be clear. This is actually an okay version of selfishness.

It’s okay because you put in the effort, you worked hard, you did things the right way, you didn’t cut corners, you didn’t demand much, therefore, you want to take a moment and reflect on what YOU “have to show for it all.”

And, selfishly, it looks like you have diddleysquat to show for it.

And, selfishly, scanning your Life … well … it kind of looks like if you don’t want to be in this diddleysquat spot you gotta get back up and start all over again.

Ok.

I don’t have answers for this one.

But I do know what I am discussing happens. And maybe more often than everyone thinks. And the answer will be driven by what matters most to a particular individual.

Those who valued family above all will reflect on the value equation with that as a foundation.

Those who valued professional success will reflect on the value equation with that as a foundation.

Those who valued … well … pick your passion & focus which got you to where you are now and you will assess “what do I have to show for it all?” based on that foundation.

To be clear. If you are not careful they are simply nice condiment sbeing placed on a nothingburger.

To be clear. This doesn’t have shit to do with whether you had a shit life or not <because most would say they didn’t have a shit life> nor does it have to do with being ‘filled or unfulfilled’ or even having been ‘inspired’ in Life, this is clearly “I didn’t have, or live, a shit life … but I’m not sure I have shit to show for it.”

And, yeah, maybe my thinking is driven more by a world that is driven by outcomes and materialistic assessment, but I would also be unenlightened <if not stupid> if I ignored that.

For all I write about the grind of life and the consistency <not exactly drudgery> of most of Life, most people really don’t drift through life, most people are aware of Life <at least when it truly matters> and most people find moments of inspiration that lift Life above … well … nothingness.

But.

At some point most people sit down, pull out the Life balance sheet, put all the shit they have done in Life as well as all the shit they have accumulated and lost <money, jobs, things>, put the amount of energy & work they invested in Life that has been invested up to that point and sit back and see what they have to show for it all.

Does the work, the fun & the hard, equal the output?

Does the work, the fun & the hard, equal what I have to show for it as I look around what I have?

And, yes, this implies I believe this assessment has accumulation of shit over time as well as what has been accumulated and is currently in hand.

I imagine the comparable discussion is if you have put in 10,000 hours of practice playing the piano you want to be able to show everyone you can play something other than chopsticks.

Anyway.

I have been part of several of these discussions and … well … they are difficult. Shit. I have had these discussion with myself.

The harsh truth is that platitudes & ‘feel good’ assessments seem not enough. Good, maybe even great from a feeling perspective, but, well, not good enough for all the hours invested and energy expended.

Yeah.

Money does matter <financial security>

Yeah.

Material shit does matter <Life environment rewards>.

Certainly not the only things that matters, but in a Life value equation, they matter when you decide to sit down and say “what do I have to show for it all?”

—

“You have to break rules to break free.”

Tinker Bell

===

“The best way to predict the future is to create it.”

Alan Kay

—

A new year is always a reflective moment and a pandemic certainly does amplify the urge to reflect. Coincidentally, whenever asked about the effect of Covid on, well, everything, I say one word: amplify. It has simply amplified everything – uncertainty, change, technology (some people call it ‘digital transformation), existing business vulnerabilities, Life vulnerabilities as well as business strengths, opportunities & risks, etc., as well as certainty.

Yeah. It has also amplified both uncertainty and certainty.

The pandemic shone a spotlight on the fact uncertainty is not the sole owner of fear & risk that even certainty contains aspects of fear. And a lot of fear.

I can know exactly what I want to do, I can know exactly what certain steps I need to take, I can even know with certainty what my quest looks like, and fear will still dog you every step of the way.

Let’s be honest. Certainty was not supposed to feel this way.

While we like to say ‘change is my constant companion and friend’ it is quite possible fear will shed its superficially bad perception cloak and take its place in public vernacular as “fear is my constant companion and friend.”

Look. I am not suggesting everyone curl up in a fetal position overcome with fear, but what I am suggesting is 2021 will be the acceptance of the fear of the known; the fear of certainty.

We are certain we will survive (because what is the alternative?) or, as my friend Murray Calder is teaching me, we will not survive and, yet, the quest goes on. Why? Because what is the alternative? And maybe that is the biggest lesson of 2020. The quest goes on, despite the fear, whether you are staring at certainty or uncertainty.

** note: Please note I am not suggesting one can become fearless, in fact, I think a fearless person is a lie. I am also not suggesting becoming ‘unfeared.’ I believe we have learned un-anything, let alone unfearing, takes a lot of energy and some sometimes-absurd contortionist reasoning.

I do not suggest embracing fear just as I am not suggesting ‘not fearing’ nor am I suggesting uncertainty is better, or worse, than certainty, but rather maybe just accept it all. Why? Because as a corollary to ‘the quest goes on despite the fear’; 99% of us have a 100% daily survival rate.

If a pandemic year has taught us anything, that last sentence & thought may be it.

Which leads me to Tinkerbell and moving forward and how people should accept fear is a valuable companion.

Peter Pan and Tinkerbell are volatile companions. They fight, they scoff at each other – maybe even show a little contempt for each other -, they make each other angry and jealous, but when it comes right down to it, they would each die for the other.

** note: The book version of TinkerBell, one of the most recognized characters in children’s literature, was certainly one of the feisty imperfect spectacular ‘doer’ type of people.

Considerably different than the Disney version.

Considerably more interesting than the Disney version and, more importantly, a reflection of the fact the world is not a Disney version.

They recognize they aren’t always perfect; the world isn’t always perfect and while sometimes they drive each other crazy they also realize those very characteristics that make each other crazy are also often the ones that make the other love them so much. They also recognize that the combination of their characteristics increases their likelihood of survival.

And while Peter Pan may have embraced not growing up, TinkerBell embraced “you have to break rules if you want to break free.”

The pandemic put a spotlight on rules, boundaries and norms. Some were needed and, well, some that existed before the pandemic simply became useless within the pandemic. We reflected on so many rules, so many things society tells you to do, so many things business tells you to do, and began to realize if you want to break free, if you wanted to find some success, shit, if you wanted to survive, you have to decide what you want to do – and be. In some way 2020 encouraged us to find our inner Tinkerbell.

The rules of the status quo, the rules of what we viewed as ‘certainties’, became silly cages to stand in. In fact, many of us began to realize fear was a silly cage. We saw uncertainty was actually the norm and certainty was also to be feared. What do I mean?

We stood in March and we knew, with certainty, it would be shit.

We stood in March and knew, with certainty, we would survive (we just didn’t know how).

We stood in March and we knew, with certainty, we would have to do different things.

There were a lot of knowns and, yet, many of us were shaken; even some fear. On other words. Fear was a certainty. And. Certainty was fear.

Uncertainty wasn’t the cage, certainty was. This, upon reflection, freaked us out. It freaked us out because the certainty cage has always been a comfortable cage for us. It has always barred us against the nastiness of the outside world. All of a sudden, the cage we accepted as a comfortable cage (or maybe not recognized we were in), the way it was supposed to be, some of the ‘certainties’ in Life, shit, even the uncertainties we normally accepted (including “life cannot be planned”) became simply wisps of smoke from the dumpster fire of 2020.

Suddenly we were free.

It may not have looked like freedom in March , but freedom it was.

And maybe, just maybe, we learned to think like a bit TinkerBell with this freedom.

She wasn’t always nice. She was feisty. She was willing to break rules. She had an imagination. I am not suggesting you shouldn’t be nice, but freedom does mean some shaking up of things, some discomfort and some conflict. Look. I am suggesting we need to ‘break some norms’, break some of the Life rules of emergent living (and, no, I do not mean not social distancing or wearing masks, etc.; but rather break some of our expectations of how Life is supposed to be lived), and break out with fear in hand.

Maybe break out our inner Tinkerbell.

It’s about flying.

It’s about finding and embracing the magic in Life.

It’s about recognizing the world has dark places, but still be willing to venture out

It’s about being nimble where evil <or ‘the bad’> tends to win thru stolid unmoving sturdiness.

It’s about not always being nice, but being true of heart.

It’s about being smart, not strong.

It’s about breaking some norms in order to be free.

It’s about using your pixie dust.

Far too many of us see a dark world and instead of imagining what could be simply hold on to something in the past because it <a> seems better and <b> seems safer (as known). It is our way of ‘unfearing certainty.’  I would argue we do not seek certainty, but rather seek unfearing aspects of our lives and, as a consequence, miss out on the magic in life.

Now. In the absence of a pandemic, in and of itself that seems like a good idea, but as everyone is doing it and as everyone decides to hold on to their ‘own thing’ we simply stay in our own little NeverLand.

** note: Peter Pan’s author made Neverland these places that are found in the minds of children and each is “always more or less an island” not the same from one child to the next.

Its not a good idea for two reasons.

• The pandemic pretty much blew up anything we had been holding onto that could possibly be ‘unfearing’ life
• That kind of thinking actually encourages is to become islands, avoiding adventure <except in our own mind> and not sharing adventure, and a pandemic clearly showed us to survive this ‘adventure’ you need others. Your Tinkerbell needed Peter Pan and Pater Pan needed Tinkerbell.

Anyway.

I think more of us need to seek our inner Tinker Bell in 2021. And in doing so we have a chance to refind the magic in Life and embrace fear and guide ourselves to new and better adventures not alone but together. Maybe in 2021 we stop valuing certainty over uncertainty, stop embracing uncertainty, and simply grab our fears, place them in pocket, and get up and go.

Aw.

This may sound silly.  This may sound Disneyesque <mostly if you haven’t actually read Peter Pan and only know the Disney Tinker Bell>.

But do not disregard the thought.

Tinker Bell sought something better even when faced with reality. She desired to create the future. She guided from adventure to adventure. She may not have liked all her companions, but she never desired less for them at the expense of something more for the ones who mattered most to her.

Oh. And she had pixie dust.

Metaphorically, I could argue we all have pixie dust it just seems irrational to think so in our rational brains.

Seek your pixie dust. Tap into your inner Tinker Bell. Have faith and maybe find a Peter Pan or two to trust on your quest. And maybe reflect on the fact the fear of the known, the certainty, is equal to the fear of the unknown/uncertainty, and that 2021 will be where norms are redefined, adventures will abound and Life’s value is found in valuing the fact 99% of us have a 100% daily survival rate.

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“There’s a place they can go if they’re tired of chains,

And our roads may be golden, or broken, or lost,

But we’ll walk on them willingly, knowing the cost –

We won’t take our place on the shelves.

It’s better to fly and it’s better to die

Say the wicked girls saving ourselves.”

“Wicked Girls Saving Ourselves”>

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