“cadence, boy, is the key to everything, you better learn to pace yourself.”

Patty Hurst Shifter <acetylene>

====

“Jumping from boulder to boulder and never falling, with a heavy pack, is easier than it sounds; you just can’t fall when you get into the rhythm of the dance.”
Jack Kerouac

=====

One of the most difficult things in business is how to excel at a specific project/initiative and, yet, have that ‘best’ fit within the greater business system to make it better. This came to mind when I read Dr Leda Glyptis’ piece on “how do you eat an elephant.” Suffice it to say the majority of business people will agree on “bite off small pieces and get shit done”, yet, the majority will also find that while that one piece done well was truly was excellent it still didn’t ‘fit’ into the existing system and ended up at least partially being a waste of time. The intent was good, but work ended up in no-mans-land. This is a parts and whole discussion and it is never easy. It is a systems discussion and that is never easy. I face this every day, in some form or fashion, in almost every business discussion I have. This often appears in conversations under the larger heinously less-than-useful label of ‘transformation’, but I am fairly confident most business people ask these following two questions all the time:

• How do I get good shit done when it seems like the system, overall, needs to be fixed?
• Should I simply focus on my one part and get that done believing by improving that I will end up improving everything (or at least get the ball rolling on larger improvements)?

Here is where I, personally, begin this discussion.

Cadence

Every business has a cadence. A rhythm it seems to work to. Now. It isn’t just one cadence, but a coherence of cadences. What I mean by that is there are systems within the system and each system has a cadence of its own. That said. The effective organization cadence accommodates each sub-cadence. This becomes important when it comes to initiatives and innovations and even basic projects. Your job’s output, to be successful, has to dance with all other systems. This dance is more like one of those huge ballroom things where partners get exchanged at different points in the dance. It isn’t always seamless but, yet, the dance (viewed from overhead) has a sense of coherence and cadence.

Anyway. Everyone just should accept the reality every organization has a cadence (usually captured in a description like ‘vibe’ or ’energy’ but is actually more a reflection of how the system works). It is, in essence, what we generally feel. The danger resides in the failure to acknowledge this ‘vibe’ is a complex mix of pacing and cadence dynamics – individuals, cliques, teams, tribes, departments, even individual projects. Even a Porsche engine has slow moving, even solid, pieces in combination with pieces moving at rates almost invisible to the eye. Organizations are systems and systems have parts and parts move at different paces so that the totality works efficiently & effectively.

To be clear. Cadence is difficult to understand in an organization. It is difficult because of how, conceptually, layered the problem of cadence is. And, yes, it is a problem. It is a problem because no layer (or dancer) remains in ‘neutral’ nor is it neutral in its motivation nor its impact. Ponder.

Gravity.

Every business has an institutional gravity. I imagine someone could call this culture, but I will not. I simply suggest that left to its own devices an organization will pull things to the ground. You have to see and sense the organizational gravity in order to (a) fly or (b) simply keep things from crashing.

A unique feature of a conserving institution, or even an industry, is a strong center of gravity.

** note: this can be good – as in a vision or principles – or it can be bad – status quo or thinking the way things have always worked is key to optimizing – or it can be even badder – as in power dynamics.

This center of gravity is good important because, in its conserving energy, it keeps all the expended energy from flying off into chaos, albeit it can also be bad important in that it sacrifices progress in doing. Gravity keeps the business institution grounded, but the danger resides in that the institution has all the feeling of speed and achievements and all the while it’s just one huge hamster wheel, i.e., they absorb piecemeal projects to create an illusion of progress while maintaining the status quo.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out status quo is a tricky topic. The truth is a conserving institution can purchase a startup with progressive ideas or thinking and, yet, because it is a conserving institution, they can use it to maintain the status quo. To the outside world they are ‘showing progress’, yet, all they are doing is maintaining the status quo. This is the illusion of progress and that is where gravity dictates organization behavior. Ponder.

Anyway.

How did I arrive at this way of thinking?

Although I have nothing, or little, to do with advertising anymore I began my career in account management. My job was to insert myself into businesses and without getting lost in their business uncover & discover opportunities in which my advertising agency could offer creative value to create value for their business. I found fairly quickly in order for my business (the agency) to be successful it needed to offer solutions that could dance within the existing cadence of the business as well as, if not more importantly, didn’t defy the business gravity – but could fly.

Lastly.

Because I have danced around some system thinking concepts in this piece, I will end with one: leverage points. Systems within systems always have leverage points. I will not suggest they are always easy to find in fact they are fairly often elusive (that’s a natural characteristic of a complex system). That said. There are leverage points that can affect the cadence and gravity or simply how a system works (effectiveness) within the existing cadence and gravity. Everyone should always have their head on a swivel looking for those. To be clear. There will always be false prophets who will shout from their podium that “this is the one to change it all!” and part of good business is attempting to separate the wheat from the chaff. But a leverage point is a leverage point and when found and exploited well it makes a difference – to the team working on the part and the greater system within which it works. Maybe what I am saying is that biting off a piece of an elephant, if that piece represents a leverage point, can be quite useful. But I am also saying that simply biting off any piece of the elephant is more likely to be less-than-useful energy expended.

Even elephants have a cadence and gravity. Ponder before you try and eat one.

====

“Uncertainty is a bitch.”

Anonymous

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 “It is not the strongest of the species that survive, not the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.”

Charles Darwin

=================

On November 18^th 2009 I wrote these words:

Welcome to Enlightened Conflict.

It was my 1st post. I suggested the site would do 3 things for readers:

• make you think
• communicate the effectiveness, and power, of words
• may learn, and unlearn, some things

All I really believe I have done is write about uncertainty and uncertain things <albeit couched in a variety of topics and opinions>.

Over time, writing and thinking, I have learned one thing for sure — uncertainty truly is a real bastard. It encourages an inability to choose, a lack of clarity or evidence to a foreseeable outcome and throws in a nice dose of ‘little to be hopeful for’ because of that indiscernible future and some shit to fear the possibility of.

In other words. It creates a suspicion that the future just may not be the one you were hoping for.

That said.

Today I will talk a little about what I perceive as a unique time, at least in our lifetime. It is a point in which general uncertainty is colliding with personal uncertainty which is colliding with leadership uncertainty.

Why is this unique?

Well.

This uncomfortable alignment rarely happens.

We may have some personal uncertainty, but we look to our leaders and they offer some sense of certainty. Or maybe we have some leadership uncertainty, but we feel good about ourselves and have a sense of certainty just do what you know is right.

You get the point.

Now. Far too often, I included, we suggest that uncertainty is just about a test in character. But today, in the present, this is becoming a test in skill, competency, abilities and, yes, character. We will be tested on all fronts – inside ourselves as well as outside ourselves. We will need to decide what we are truly good, if not great, at and either stand aside and let someone else do what needs to be done or permit ourselves to accept that it just ain’t gonna happen the way we wish it would happen. That is a test on all fronts not just character.

Regardless. I truly believe this is a moment. A moment in which uncertainty reigns. A moment within the ‘tide of the affairs of men. ‘

 Within my 1^st 5 posts, on December 5^th 2009, I shared this:

—————

There is a tide in the affairs of men
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
On such a full sea are we now afloat,
And we must take the current when it serves,
Or lose our ventures.

William Shakespeare

========

This quote is a reminder that opportunities in life are fleeting, but there are many — if you pay attention. And, yes, I do think it is nice to remind yourself there are many opportunities ebbing and flowing in front of us <because then you stop dwelling on regrets>. But I imagine my point today is that while we should seek these tides and be aware they exist and be aware that sometimes the tide in the affairs is thrust upon us.

I feel like that last thought better reflects the uncertain moment we live in presently.

To help me I pulled out my battered copy of Hayakawa’s “Use the Right Word” trying to find the right words and on page 550 there it was – significant. Synonyms for significant are listed as  consequential, grave, important, momentous, serious, vital and weighty.

These are the words we use to refer to factors, and moments, that are outstanding, crucial or that have considerable force or effect. The word ‘significant’ itself suggests something that is outstanding because it is especially meaningful or excellent; no urgency or forcefulness is necessarily suggested by the word — its impact is set in stone and solid. The power of the individual word is that it contains, and retains, each aspect of the synonym words.

So, yes, what makes this moment so solidly significant is its less than solid uncertainty.

And maybe that is why this particular uncertainty in the present seems a little more agonizing.

=====

“Our civilization is founded on the shambles, and every individual existence goes out in a lonely spasm of helpless agony.”

William James

=====

I am not a ‘glass is half empty’ view of Life and living Life guy, yet, James has a point here. Almost everything we do, certainly anything good, is built on the shambles of something. Therefore, our existence is challenged by the threat of some helpless agony … in our pursuit of being happier with some unknown certainty.

In this case the shambles we are trying to build upon is ‘uncertainty.’

And while some may suggest “how the hell can you build something out of nothing” I would suggest that is what we do when we are at our best.

When we use our skills, whatever capabilities we have and work together, actually cooperate, while being the best people we can be. In other words, we build something out of the nothingness uncertainty.

Here is what I know.

We all seek to make some positive impact on the world whether that world be our immediate circle or some grand global circle or somewhere inbetween.

Combine that with a thought I read somewhere that to live nobly is to avert one’s eyes from the bad and seek that which can be found in the light of good. And I think that is what James hints at — averting one’s eyes is … well … not easy.

Tell someone to not look at something and the temptation to look increases exponentially. And, let’s be absolutely clear, while uncertainty resides mostly in nothingness, and nothing tangible, we place that uncertainty in tangible things <events or people> so that we can stare at it as a prime example of uncertainty. It is not that we seek the agony and sadness of Life its just that I tend to believe we want some tangibleness because then it seems more easily conquered. And then this uncertainty alignment agony takes on a whole new level — our inevitable desire to create some plans to make things certain.

Yikes. That is a horrible objective.

Yet. Doing this is natural because we are taught almost from day one that planning, and a plan, is the key to success and happiness. In other words this suggests we can … uhm … plan for certainty.

That seems kinda crazy.

Shit.

It sounds like certain agony.

In fact.

It sounds like we are constantly sifting through the shambles of plans made and broken as we seek to make some meaningful progress in Life.

===

“The detective thinks he is investigating a murder. But truly he is investigating something else altogether, something he cannot grasp hold of directly. Satisfaction will be rare. Uncertainty will be your natural state. Much of your life will be spent in the dark woods, no path visible, with fear and loneliness your only companions.

But answers exist. Solutions wait for you, trembling, pulling you to them, calling your name, even if you cannot hear.

I believe that someday, perhaps many lifetimes from now, all will be explained, and all mysteries will be solved. All knowledge will be free for the taking, including the biggest mystery of all – who we really are. But for now, each detective, alone in the woods, must take the clues and solve mysteries alone.”

Jacque Silette

<fictional detective>

====

Look. Uncertainty is a bastard. It certainly makes us question ourselves — who we are as an individual and what we are truly capable of.  Today’s version of uncertainty is just our own version to the nth degree as it encompasses all things in our lives.

Here is the good news.

We all know answers exist and we all know they await us even if we cannot hear them, but we all know some certainty of some things exists somewhere.

This means we are constantly investigating who we really are and what we are really good at often desperately grabbing at clues or proof to provide some comfort that we have either solved the mystery, or, at least are on the path to solving it.

I will note that at all times I tend to find the “who you really are” as a silly, if not stupid, self-question.  Mostly because who I am today is not who I will necessarily be tomorrow. But, in particular, in this time and place I tend to think it sells the moment short. It encourages us to find our inner strength and inner core of who we are and suggest we will be able to walk the bridge from uncertainty to more certain things & places.

That is wrong.

And dangerously wrong.

We are going to be judged for this moment in time.

That I can guarantee.

And it will not solely be on character. It will be on skills, abilities, capabilities and how well we identified what we could do and whether we did it or not.

This may sound harsh, but the only people who will know who we truly are today are not us, but someone somewhere in a future yet to be defined. So looking for that kind of validation today is a fool’s errand. Yet. It should not stop us from being detectives, in fact, it will most likely be our continuous search for clues and solve what mysteries we can today that will guide us from uncertainty to some certainty of something better than what exists today.

In the end.

Sometimes we call it uncertainty.

Sometimes we call it ‘the unknown.’

But you know what? It doesn’t matter what name you put on it.

It’s fear.

In this case, in this time and place, it is an alignment of fears of whether we will be good enough as people, good enough in skills, good enough in leadership, good enough in abilities and good enough to meet whatever challenges exist in today’s existing uncertainty.

Oh.

To be clear.

Sometimes I believe we associate fear with weakness or possibly too often associated with ‘not enough positive thinking.’

That is wrong to do so.

I tend to believe we would be much better off, particularly in the here & now, to cut through the bullshit and just call fear by its name and face it — in all its black & white glory and the uncertainty and the fear associated with it — and step into it as my friend David Amerland suggests, with intentionality.

I am not suggesting you to not feel some fear of uncertainty or even that I don’t feel fear because, of course, I feel fear.

Who the hell doesn’t? <and if they say they don’t … they are lying>

I believe it helps to just face it.

And I am not saying this because I believe “fear is a great motivator” <because I would suggest that it is really survival that is a great motivator … not fear>. I suggest these things because fear, more often than not, actually freezes us … makes us do nothing. If we face it, we name it, we say ‘fuck you’ to it, we will do what it takes and needs to be done — try things in trying times.

To be clear.

I do not believe we are at a cross roads.

I believe we are on a road and we have an obstacle, one that we just cannot see and one that no one has articulated or shown us yet. It just exists in our minds and, yet, we know it exists as much as the thought of Santa Claus in the hearts of children. That is kind of what uncertainty is.

I do know I feel uncertainty and I am fairly sure I am not in a minority. I feel like most people, if asked, would just say something like “I am not sure what is going to happen” which means uncertainty resides at the core of what is in the here & now.

What I know for sure is that we will build something out of his nothingness. We will look back, or the generations yet to come will look back, and they will see something.

This I know.

Something will be built from the scraps of uncertainty and it will be built upon a foundation of what is the best of us.

The structure will showcase the strengths of our better skills, capabilities and abilities.

The skyline of the future will be a reflection of the best of us having worked together to create a better version of what exists.

Why do I know this?

Anything less is not the best version of who and what we are.

Anything less means uncertainty won.

This is our test.

This is our time.

This is our certainty.

That I know.

Yeah.

On November 18^th 2009 I wrote these words: Welcome to Enlightened Conflict.

I have never stopped believing that the best version of us is better than most of us think it is and that everyone just needs to be reminded of their ‘better version’ in order to permit it to stand up and speak out and ‘do.’

It is time for us to prove me right.

But uncertainty certainly is a real bastard, ain’t it?

It takes some intentionality to actually be the best version of who and what we are and can be.

Make your choice. Choose wisely.

=====

a version of this was posted in late 2016

================

“The life so short, the craft so long to learn.”

Hippocrates

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“Ninety percent of paid work is time-wasting crap. The world gets by on the other ten.”

John Derbyshire

We Are Doomed: Reclaiming Conservative Pessimism

================

How many times have we sat back and said “I can do that job”?

Now. To be clear. I am going to talk about this from a business-to-business perspective and not the corner of the bar-to-‘some job’ perspective because from the corner of the bar, after a couple of beers, any of us can do any job better than the person who is currently doing it.

This is an “I have been in the workplace, I feel like I have had some success and … well … shit … I can do that job” perspective.

OK. I am chuckling a little, c’mon, let’s face it, I don’t care who you are and where you have worked, you have eyed what another person is doing and thought you could do it. At some point, if you have had some success, all jobs start having some commodity-like characteristics which tease you into believing shifting from one to another just isn’t that difficult.

Ok. To be fair. I have never lacked in business confidence. I do not believe there is a business problem that cannot be solved and I also believe <with some realistic pragmatic goggles on> that there is not a problem I cannot solve if I hunker down and get all the information I need. This can make me aggravating to work with on occasion because, well, I make no apologies for “how I may repair things”.

But that shouldn’t be confused with believing I can do any job.

Ok.

Yeah.

I admit.

I am certainly guilty at points in my career where I have certainly thought “I could do that job” over a wide array of responsibilities and unrelated industries.

** Note. I rarely thought I could do it better … just that I could do it.

……….. my MBA at Wake Forest experience ………..

I would say that my MBA experience, a great experience with great professors at Wake Forest, encouraged me to think this way. It was a case study program which inherently encouraged thinking skills over black & white discipline skills. I tend to believe a good MBA program insures you know enough about a specific discipline to be dangerous if you overestimate your own knowledge, but effective enough to be able to understand the discipline to apply it in a general management scope.

Now.

In general, I think this attitude, on the positive side, permits you to make the leaps you have to make to jump into new jobs, new responsibilities and new positions.

In general, I think this attitude, on the negative side, can make you overlook some skills other people have as well as … at its worst … can put you in positions in which you will fail in a spectacular fashion.

I imagine as someone gets promoted, as I did, every step up showed me that there was a shitload I didn’t know overall, as well as about the responsibilities of a specific job, but at the same time it also continuously reinforced that I could “do that job.”

Success in business is a double edged sword.

Conversely.

………. what you know versus what you do not know ………

As someone gets promoted they also can see that some people got their jobs not because they necessarily had the experience or skills for the job, but simply because they had the appearance they could do the job.

You watched as these people invested gobs of energy trying to “fake it until they actually make it” or, worse, they realized they were in over their heads and invested even more energy simply maintaining a facade of bullshit to hide their hollowness.

I would also note that given your experience on the last thing I just shared that also encourages someone to believe they could, well, “do that job.”

The higher I got and the broader my experiences, my sense of “I cannot really do that job” increased with regard toward the jobs I really shouldn’t do. It didn’t diminish my sense of ability to handle increased responsibility, it simply made me more reflective of other skill sets and the reality of certain jobs.

To be clear. There is a certain group of people who never reach this realization. They tend to be either sociopaths or oblivious narcissists, but they do exist.

Anyway. My real realization on this topic came when I reached a general management position <and did some consulting>.

It was there that I recognized jobs are like icebergs. 90% of a job you never see until you actually do the job. And to successfully do the part you don’t see needs a couple of things beyond the obvious ‘I need to be competent with regard to the specific skill itself’ aspect:

Attitude alignment

source: Tom Graves, Services and Disservices

This attitude goes way beyond the simplistic “I can do the job.” This attitude is more with regard to what you are actually good at.

As I have stated before I am more a renovator than a builder.  That is a mindset. My attitude is just put me in a room with all the puzzle pieces and I can rearrange them, maybe polish off a couple, maybe smooth out some edges that no longer fit well and put a different puzzle together that works better than the one that exists.

And then there are people who say ‘I envision a puzzle and build the pieces.”

Those are two different attitudes that, certainly, have some overlap but also, certainly, drive a different type of style and ability to succeed in one type of job versus another type of job. I believe many people are successful in their jobs, and new jobs, because they have the proper insight into themselves and position themselves well to take advantage of this insight.

I would also add that a leader who can see within a person’s ‘skill set’ to recognize this attitude will also be the type who can hire incredibly effectively. Not all leaders and hirers can. Some simply see the façade and surface abilities and believe they are easily transferable and hire them believing anyone can do the job if they have that appearance of a type of surface skill set.

The less-than-obvious skill set

… example of under the radar understanding (Juran Institute) …

Each skill, each specialty, has layers to its depth & breadth. Let’s say this is the “art” of the skill <I sometimes refer to it as “the shadow of your skill”>.

When you are a junior person you are demanded day in and day out to craft your pragmatic ‘non-artistic’ skills. You learn how to screw screws into holes efficiently and hammer nails into their proper places effectively.

As you gain seniority you are demanded to start incorporating the art aspects of your craft. I like to explain this as you have to learn to be more of an architect of your department, skill and specialty. By the way, not everyone can do his and not every department head is good at this and it tends to start filtering out those who move on to the next level … general management.

And if you move up even more into general management you are demanded to gain some skills in the “art” of combining all the skills into the overall progress of a company beyond the simplistic “are each department doing their fricking job.”

Ponder this.

In general the biggest difference between thinking you can do a job and actually being able to do the job is your less than obvious skill set. For example … I cannot tell you how many times I have sat in a conference room with a CFO who has displayed a skill set that made me think “shit, this company is lucky to have them” not because they knew all the accounting mumbo jumbo, but because they knew how to wield account skills in ways that  the company benefited beyond accounting.

Pick your C-level title and I would say the same thing.

At the corner of the bar you have no clue whether you have this ‘less than obvious skill set’ and if you actually have the experience you may only have a sense of whether this skill set exists. This is an intangible, however, 90% of the time this intangible arises from some relevant experience <maybe not within that specific discipline but a discipline nonetheless> … so your experience does matter.

So.

I decided to write about this today because, frankly, as a business guy I know you cannot do a job simply because you say “I can do that job” and that experience really does matter and that simply because you believe something … <sigh> … does not make it so.

I will say that I have learned this lesson the hard way and it permits me to be able to call a bullshitter a bullshitter and to be able to point out that some roles & responsibilities dictate at least some relevant experience in order to be effective & efficient. Just because you think you can “do that job” does not mean you can actually “do that job.” It takes some self-awareness to know that.

The lack of self-awareness has a ripple effect.

In a bar your lack of self-awareness can create a range of responses – some chuckles, out right laughter of disbelief and maybe even some aggravation if it inches into what some of the people actually do sitting at the table.

In a business your lack of self-awareness can create some real business repercussions. Not only may you be out of your depth, but you may actually start making some poor hires who are also out of their depth and that kind of shit gathers negative momentum <down the slippery slope of less-than-competent results>.

In business you get fired for that shit.

In business that kind of shit gets the entire business in trouble.

Anyway. Not everyone can do a job. That’s the message of the day.

====

“There’s always a strange feeling you get when you come across one particular line by chance.

It feels somehow significant.

That’s irrational of course, but humans are irrational creatures.

Even the sturdiest, most down-to-earth chap will turn pale if he opens a book at random and sees the words PREPARE TO MEET THY DEATH. “

Mark Forsyth

======

Survival is a great motivator.

Suffice it to say there is pretty much nothing like feeling like ‘prepare to meet thy death’ is imminent to create a sense of urgency in your actions. I believe this is true in your personal life as well as in your business life.

But.

Let’s be clear.

Up until that “death scenario” point most of us swing back & forth between a general sense of lack of urgency and just getting all the shit done you need to get done <no urgency nor laziness just doing and checking shit off your list>.

It is a fairly practical approach to approaching Life <and business life>.

Looking at Life objectively, Life is almost always a balance of pacing yourself so that you don’t burn out <and have the energy when you actually do need it> and a sense of urgency to ‘do’ when the situation dictates.

And, yet … we almost seem irrational when it comes to this balance. We run, and run, and run and then all of a sudden schedule some forced ‘stop’ under the guise of ‘re-energizing’ or recharging our batteries.

This is kind of nuts.

This actually implies we can control what we face and when we face it.

Let me explain what I really mean.

Well.

Even the sturdiest, most down-to-earth chap will turn pale if he opens a book at random and sees the words PREPARE TO MEET THY DEATH.

So let’s say your idea of balance is a simple “go” or “stop” — either 100% of one or 100% of the other.

So let’s say you have been running and running and running with your planned “stop” imminent.

Uh oh.

Life stands in front of you with some situation and places the words is ‘prepare to meet thy death’ squarely in front of you.

You pale.

Shit.

We all pale in  moment like that.

It is ‘survival time.’ What many crappy bosses flippantly call “an all hands on deck” moment.

Well.

You are fucked.

Just when you need the energy the most you are most likely at your most depleted.

Suffice it to say the ‘100% stop or go’ Life strategy is not the most practical or efficient living Life model. And, yet, that is exactly the model most of us use.

Our reason <excuse>?

This is what Life demands of us.

Well.

I could argue that Life may certainly pressure us to live life this way, but it certainly doesn’t demand us to live it this way.

We get lots of choices in Life and one of them is how we live it.

Even with all the “survive must do’s” we get a lot of room on how we conduct our lives.

Death or survival moments reminds us of this. It is in these moments in which our survival mode kicks in, i.e., “I am not prepared to meet my death … if at all possible”.

Most of us figure we may as well go out fighting … hence the urgency.

“Better it is to die as a soldier since die we must.

And though the man who dies hath pain – to all his house accrues praise and pride. “

Euripedes

Now.

I will admit.

I hated the false ‘prepare to meet thy death’ moments a shitload of managers create in business.

Well. I really believe most of them do not create them, but rather they simply cannot discern between a true “meet thy death” scenario versus a “a calculated action is called for here.”

In addition.

I admit.

I found it incredibly frustrating to have a “prepare to meet thy death” scenario rear its monstrous head and any and all resources became available. Not because I begrudged the resources needed to meet the situation, but because months before you had asked for the same resources <maybe even a lesser degree> and, if invested then <as asked>, this particular ‘prepare to meet thy death’ scenario most likely would have never occurred.

But that is why I said what I said upfront — most of us grind our way through life, business & personal, with a general lack of urgency. The uncomfortable truth is that creating urgency without a ‘prepare to meet thy death’ situation is difficult. And because it is difficult and because there is a mostly lack of urgency general attitude, managers almost get trained to inspire urgency with ‘death-like scenarios. This is the truly evil business version of “false sense of urgency.”

It is a mind numbingly stupid situation we have created for ourselves.

I, personally as a manager, do not know if I was particularly good at heading off ‘prepare for thy death’ situations and I don’t know if I was particularly good at recognizing real ‘prepare to meet thy death’ scenarios <because sometimes they actually can be slightly sneaky>, but I do tend to believe I erred on the side of treating almost all scenarios initially as ‘non urgent’ believing more often than not if we didn’t run around like chickens with our heads cut off and didn’t invest a shitload of extra resources we could most likely handle it fairly efficiently.

My only proof to back up what I just wrote?

I am not dead.

Regardless.

I do wish more of us, in Life and in business, could cut back on the “go 100%” and “stop 100%” interval living. I don’t think it is particularly healthy nor particularly effective in the long run.

Death comes to all of us soon enough … no reason to seek it out.

=====

“Our civilization is founded on the shambles, and every individual existence goes out in a lonely spasm of helpless agony.”

William James

======

“When I was in grade school, they told me to write down what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I wrote down happy.

They told me I didn’t understand the assignment,

I told them they didn’t understand life.”

Unknown <too often incorrectly attributed to John Lennon>

==========

William James is a quote machine, but I sometimes think he had a ‘glass is half full’ view of Life and living Life. And, yet, he has a point here.

Whether you are happy now or not, almost everything we do is built on the shambles of something. Or maybe it is just that life is really messy and we have to build our happiness out of this mess.

Regardless, it would seem our existence is challenged by the threat of some helpless agony in our pursuit of being happy.

Speaking of happy.

Go online and over half the time you see the second quote it is attributed to Poor John Lennon. I doubt it is his quote because it is one of those saccharine snippets you expect to read in self-help books and not from the ever-pretentious Lennon <a pretentious person would never create a quasi-cheesy pretentious quote>. I am not sure he would be happy with it all.

However. The sentiment? The sentiment is pretty spot on.

Is the purpose of life to do something of some purpose and therefore be happy?

Or is it simply to seek happiness and therefore our purpose is derived from our happiness?

Aw.

Who the hell knows.

And who the hell cares? <okay … a shitload of pop psychologists and maybe some philosophers care>.

I, personally, believe making happiness an objective is misguided. It should be an outcome of things you do and think. That said. Desiring happiness is a good things. As Hanzi Freinacht says in The Listening Society, “the fact happiness isn’t everything, doesn’t make it into nothing.”

The Listening Society: Hanzi Freinacht

Anyway. Here is what I know.

We all seek to make some positive impact on the world whether that world be our immediate circle or some grand global circle. And I read somewhere that to live nobly is to avert one’s eyes from the bad and seek that which can be found in the light of good. And I think that is what James hints at. That averting one’s eyes is, well, not easy.

Tell someone to not look at something and the temptation to look increases exponentially.

It is not that we seek the agony and sadness of Life, it is just there to be seen.

Part of it is driven by expectations drummed into our heads which isn’t really about seeking happiness or purpose, but rather we are constantly pushed & encouraged to be better than the person next to us. We are taught almost from day one to cram stuff into our heads not to learn but to be tested against some standardized standard and measured against everyone else. We are taught almost from day one everything is a competition (which suggests if you do not win you are a loser).

In other words the agony is all about competing against what is considered ‘success’ and whether we meet those standards instead of a more positive agony of “I am learning but have yet so much to learn” or progress (rather than success).

In addition.

We are taught almost from day one that planning, and a plan, is the key to success and happiness. In other words this suggests we can … uhm … plan to be happy and planning leads to success.

That seems kinda crazy. It really does seem kind of a nuts fantasy to suggest you can map out something that doesn’t even exist.

Shit.

It sounds like agony.

In fact.

It sounds like we are constantly sifting through the shambles of plans made and broken as we seek to make some progress <difficult to define without some plan I guess> in Life.

But you know what true agony is?

Either having no clue what you want to do with your life or encountering the emptiness of uncertainty with regard to your Life. I would suggest that in some ways they are two sides of the same coin and if you have this coin in your pocket you are carrying at least a small burden of this agony wherever you go.

In a world in which someone’s strive for success is most typically defined in some form or fashion as wealth, power or some measured result <test score, material example, IQ, title, etc.> it becomes very difficult to sit back … examine your agony … and seek to better define success thru some emotional perspective and progress.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. In many ways they are inextricably linked … I get that.

But in the absence of wealth or power or some high falutin’ title … it sure would be nice to have some emotional happiness & purpose stored up in some mental bank account to counter it.

I am not one of those people who shout “you need to do what you love to be happy.” I actually believe to be happy you should love, or find extreme comfort, that you fulfill some purpose in Life. And that purpose doesn’t even have to be in the here & now … because depending on where you are in Life an what your situation is … it may simply be a strong thread of hope that you will reach the place where you can be “the noblest version of I” and serve the purpose which gives you some happiness & meaning beyond that high falutin’ title and that large bank account and fancy car.

In the end.

As a business guy who focuses a lot on how to communicate things to people I would suggest that everything I have written is a perfect rationale for what I always talk about the fact a business needs to be grounded in ‘selling hope.’ It is a perfect rationale for how I always talk about ‘progress’ rather than success.

Hope, in combination with Progress, to me, is the ultimate salve to the agony one faces in Life.

But, hey, that’s me.

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“A ship in harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are for.”

John Shedd

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“The arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice.”

MLK

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 The arc of history is irrelevant to most of us. Ok. Maybe better said is that we are relatively indifferent to the arc of history.

Most of us get up, drink our coffee and get going doing what we need to do that day. In doing so we cannot see any fucking arc, we just see what is in front of us. The arc can only vaguely be seen when we look at the news or talk with friends or maybe see some high falutin’ presentation on trends that supposedly impact our business in terms of sales and shit like that.

And we wonder why the world can seem so cold sometimes? Geez. That is our view for the most part. It is our daily grind (responsibilities) interspersed with some outside news filtering in for some perspective.

I would suggest any arc seems like it can almost be a straight line rather than any arc we can see. It can sometimes seem like a straight line of no change, or, a lot of bad shit with small drops of good shit mixed in.

But that’s not reality. The reality is that time and … well … our lives … do arc.

Just like when you are a ship in a harbor thinking about leaving the horizon looks flat and finite. And, yet, once you leave the harbor you realize that the horizon was simply a reflection of where you were and where you stood and that the reality was the world, the universe, arcs and bends to things you could not see from where you once stood.

Yeah. Sometimes that is hard to see.

Yeah. Sometimes we don’t have any time to think about it.

Yeah. But we should … at least on occasion. Because the arc occurs whether we see it or not. You have to be able to figure out how to get done whatever has to be done or the arc will show you what has to be done <or at least the context within which you will make your choices of what you will do>.

Look. I buy the fact that the arc of time bends toward justice. But I think it neglects to point out that people inevitably define the arc. It neglects to point out justice, or ‘good’, is not simply part of the ether, but resides in the hearts & minds of people. Well. What that means is the arc resides within us. All of us. Not just someone standing up in front of us trying to tell us what the arc is or should be.

I sometimes think we mistaken society, a country or a civilization is like a big tanker and we hire someone or elect some to jump onto the bridge of the ship and lead it out of the harbor. That is not so. You would be mistaken to think that. Each one of us is a little ship. We are a fleet of a variety of ships, boats and scows restlessly bobbing in the harbor from which we can actually leave or stay as we wish.

When we hire a leader, or elect someone, we – we little fleet of ships – are actually seeking a flagship. Someone who dares to leave the harbor and lead us over the arc of the horizon. Lead us beyond the current routes we take, lead us beyond the fishing grounds we have always used and lead us to new lands that maybe we had only heard of before.

But. We, we little fleet of ships, also control the voyages because within the hearts & minds of each of the captains resides justice and what is good & right and decide to follow, float or seek freedom.

Therefore we control the arc and bend of justice. No leader does.

I will suggest, consciously or subconsciousnessly, people tend to follow, or guide, based on justice therefore the arc will bend — sometimes too slowly — toward the goodness which resides in humankind. Just like a ship in harbor looking out from a harbor that goodness can sometimes be difficult to see when looking at the horizon but, I can guarantee this, if you leave the harbor it is easier to see.

“Why am I grown Old in seeking so barren a Reward as Fame?

The same Parts and Application, which have made me a Poet, might have rais’d me to any Honours of the Gown, which are often given to Men of as little Learning and less Honesty than myself.”

=

John Dryden

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“I feel like I’ve swallowed a cloudy sky.”

Haruki Murakami

Fame.

Fame is an appealing concept to almost everyone. Hear me out. Even if you are one of those people who say “I don’t want to be famous”, you actually do.  Yup. Maybe not ‘red carpet’ famous, but instead maybe if but for one minute ‘noticed by many’ famous.

At the crux of this mental battle we all have is: at what price would we pay for it … this ‘fame’? What price would we pay even for a sliver of fame?

Would you pay anything for “so barren a reward as fame” as John Dryden characterized it? What is the exchange you are willing to make?

Which leads me to selfies, instagram, pinterest, tumblr, Tiktok … pick one.

In technology’s world of the web we are not seeking our 15 minutes of fame, but our 15 seconds of fame with two paths lying ahead:

<a> hoping it will either turn into 15 days of fame as it gets reposted & discussed & editorialized, or

<b> hoping it turns into nothing … as it is embarrassing in reflection.

Therein lies the challenge of gaining fame … even a sliver.

Anyway. I have a theory about fame. Ok. I actually have two theories.

To be clear, these theories, theorems, postulates, whatever you would like to deem whatever glimpse of brilliance or absurdity within what I share, its my own with no research; just looking around at people and having listened & watched probably a million through my professional career.

First thought.

Genes. Chrissie Hynde <Pretenders lead singer> said this once:

“As far as success goes, I’ve never really got too excited about losing or winning. I don’t have whatever the gene is you need for that. Whatever the gene John McEnroe has, I don’t have that.

I don’t care.”

Some people don’t simply crave fame. It is part of their DNA. It is in their genes. I say this because far too many of us <myself included> mock the fame seekers as narcissistic or shallow or, well, pick your poison, but, the reality is that they simply have a gene we do not.

This doesn’t mean I have to find it likable. It simply means I need to recognize that not everyone is the same. And it also means we need to step back and recognize that fame can be used for good or for bad and that fame, while sought, is rarely controlled by the ‘soughter.’

Second thought.

My sense is that to most of us every day schmucks that the whole concept of fame is simply a means to an end, i.e., a vague concept that really has to do with esteem and self worth.

What?

Yeah.

I tend to believe most of us don’t really want the spotlight for life. We simply want to know that we are worth a shit.

That we are good at something.

Conversely, we fear be mediocre. Ok. Let me clarify. We fear being 100% mediocre and that fear affects how we view ourselves.

Looking at ourselves internally and looking at our selves externally seem to rarely match. We are either inflated with regard to ourselves or we have some deflated view of ourselves.

Neither is good.

“All I ever asked of life was that it should pass me by without my even noticing it.”

Fernando Pessoa

This is where that 15 seconds, or 15 minutes, of fame steps in. A spotlight shows us, even for a glimpse in time, some reality.

Something, well, good.

That we are actually good at something.

That people recognize it.

And that moment is it.

It’s enough.

Most of us don’t desire more than that. Just the validation is enough. We can step back into our lives content and continue the grind. Even if we continue the grind with a slightly livelier step knowing that somewhere someone valued us and our contribution.

And, yes, I am unequivocally discussing fame.

Not the smile of a child, the nuzzling from your dog, or even some very personal soulful evaluation and endorsement of your behavior which can provide valuable value affirmation, but differently than fame.

I am discussing fame as is in the harshest glimpse of society and life.

The unhesitating judgment of a cold and often brutal world. Unbiased personally you know when you walk away you weren’t cheated in judgment.

And in that judgment you were noticed and passed judgment.

“Everyone deserves a standing ovation at least once in their life because we all overcometh the world.”

R. J. Palacio

To be clear. The corrolary to what i just shared is your flaws, mistakes, misjudgements, also can get scritinized in the spotlight. Hence my opening where I offered an A path and a B path. Wander into the spotlight at your own risk.

That said. Fame, using Dryden’s language, it is most often not found in “the torrent of the people” or “the riot of a multitude.” Fame is most often found in a moment where the price is nothing more than facing our insecurities on whether we are good enough.

And, in that moment, the fame pendulum can swing far one way or the other.

We are not good enough.

And the world stands and stares.

We are good enough.

And the world stands and stares.

Simplistically, therein lies the price of fame.

The fact you will find out whether you are good enough. And maybe that’s why we all seek some version of fame at some point. Maybe we all really do want to know the truth; harsh or not. Maybe, just maybe, that is what fame, to the non-egotistical, is really about.

Because attaining a rich reward, or, so barren a reward, is a reward nonetheless.

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“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.”

Winston Churchill

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Merry Christmas everyone … and to celebrate I will go back in time a little.

My gift to everyone who visits Enlightened Conflict this year is that I share the most famous gift a writer has given Christmas … the answer to the letter to the editor to “Is there a Santa Claus?”

Go back in time, but please don’t lose your sense of child wonder in what makes Christmas so great in the present.

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Is There A Santa Claus?
Editorial Page, New York Sun, September 21, 1897

We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:

Dear Editor,

I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, “If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.” Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O’Hanlon

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Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except what they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy.

Alas! How dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias.

There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus? Thank God! He lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

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Wonderful words any day … wonderful words for today.

Merry Christmas.

So. Getting gifts at Christmas is awesome, but it always seems to take music to create the Christmas spirit.

With that thought … I started thinking about my top 5 Christmas songs.

Anyway.

I began with 5 but the list kept growing (& I am sure I have missed some awesome Christmas songs). It is a mix of traditional and non traditional. But here are the ones I would request to get me in the Christmas spirit.

Numero uno.

No doubt.

Any Christmas anywhere … I will never get tired of this song:

Nat King Cole and The Christmas Song

Ok. I have no clue what chestnuts are and no idea whether roasting them over an open fore is a good idea or not … but dammit … if I had chestnuts I would roast them.

No Christmas is complete without this song.

Next.

A classic (most young people have no idea who Dean Martin was and almost everyone forgets he actually sang in between cocktails).

Dean Martin singing Let it Snow

And then Amy Grant.

I am not a huge Amy fan in general but I would have to say she is my top female xmas singer. I think she could sing any Christmas song and … well .. it would sound like it was meant for Christmas.

Amy Grant and Grown up Christmas List

And then a different Aimee.

Aimee Mann Christmastime

On a side note … I almost picked Calling on Mary or her vision of The River, both of which sounds languid and nice, but kind of has that infamous Aimee ironically truthful realistically darkish side to the holidays …

I heard the sidewalk Santa say:

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas

Salvation’s coming cheap today

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas

Next. My first memory of a non classic contemporary Christmas song.  And it still sounds great today.

Waitresses Christmas wrapping … a classic.

Next.

Beautiful voice. Beautiful Christmas song. Sappy but good stuff.

Carpenters singing Merry Christmas Darling

Next.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas.

Yikes.  There are a bunch of great renditions to this song. Maybe my favorite? Vonda Shepard’s Merry Little Christmas.

Next. How The Grinch stole Christmas is probably the best Xmas cartoon of all time (maybe Charlie Brown close behind), but this song is awesome … the original  The Grinch song:

But. It may be Hip Heavy Lip’s version that introduced this song to an entirely new generation (NEVER get tired of this).

Next. Pretty much anything Leigh Nash sings sounds good but holiday songs … well … she should do an entire cd sometime …

Sixpence none the Richer  Carol Of The Bells

Next. Whew. Incredibly sad and thoughtful and … well … heartfelt … which <the latter> is what I expect Christmas is really all about.

Robert Downey singing The River:

Next.

The one people probably haven’t heard ….

Glasvegas  singing A Snowflake Fell (And It Felt Like A Kiss)

Next.

For a slightly different sound and it sounds fun in the traditional xmas music mix … Sally Shapiro sings kind of a techno Christmas song …

Anorak Christmas

Next. Cocteau Twins are an acquired taste in general … and their sound is always up & down (to me). But.  They nailed this one.

Cocteau Twins and Frosty The Snowman

Next. Just a nice one. And Heather Nova’s voice is a nice contrast to the more traditional Amy Grant and Leigh Nash and Karen Carpenter.

Always Christmas by Heather Nova:

Next.

Christmas (baby please come home) by Death Cab for Cutie

I love Ben Gibbard’s voice. And I love this version of the song. Whoda thunk one of the best emo bands of all time would crank out a good holiday song.

Next. A good modern one.  Surprisingly good.  Surprisingly little played.

Sleigh ride by KT Tunstall:

Next.

Listen The Snow Is Falling by Thea Gilmore

(had to include this one)

Its just nice. And you never hear it on the radio <and most people have no clue who Thea is>.

Next. Oh yeah.

O Holy Night by Josh Groban (his voice sounds pretentious at times … but … for the holidays? … his voice was made for songs like this).

And lastly. Just can’t leave this one off my Christmas list.

So This is Christmas by John Lennon

How could this not make anyone’s list?

Done.

That’s it for my list. 19 songs (if I counted correctly)

I have more but these are songs I like to hear in order to get me in the melancholy state and upbeat state and in general … the Christmas state.

Thinking about the past.

Remembering friends and family <here and gone>.

Reconnecting.

Seeing the joy in a child’s face …. Ok … anyone’s face.

Ok.

To make it an even 20. Just for a smile. Listen to Guster sing “¿Donde Esta Santa Claus?”

Merry Christmas.

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“She may be going to Hell, of course, but at least she isn’t standing still.”

e.e.cummings

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Life never really makes it that easy for you.

Sure.

It gives you some incredibly beautiful and happy moments, but, in general, it kind of takes every opportunity to kick the shit out of you.

Now. Sometimes its a big kick and sometimes its just a bunch of small kicks but they all net out to basically one thing – what Life does to most of us is wear us down. Make us tired.

In fact, pretty quickly you find out that part of being an adult is basically a long series of conversations about how tired you are where you find yourself smiling sympathetically at someone who is telling you how tired they are as you stand there thinking there is no fucking way they are nearly as tired as you.

I say that just to make a point.

Because while those conversations happen, and most likely happen too often, most of us are not really tired. Seriously. I mean that. If you tear apart your tiredness I believe mots of us just wish there were more glimpses of color in a daily-ness of greys.

Yeah. I could be wrong, but, in general, I sense the grind of everyday life is kind of gray to people. It just bleeds a little more gray into every moment of a day.

Now. Let’s just call that the base from which all colors & non colors arise.

Now. Let’s call that our ‘hell.’ Gray.

That said. Underneath everyone’s Life runs an underground river of happiness & satisfaction & colors <yes, I do believe those suffering from depression have an underground river flowing with sadness & despair & blacks>.

The water is always flowing but sometimes/often we don’t always see it or taste it. And that is where I believe ‘stop and smell the roses’ is slightly off because I think it is more ‘pause and smell the roses.’

You only still yourself for a moment or two to enjoy some color within the gray. But. You don’t really stop.

It’s like my underground river metaphor.

You can pause at some water fountain and refresh yourself. And then move on. But if you stop and try and drill down to the underground river, well, the world doesn’t stop. So while you are working hard to drill down to something you certainly know is worthwhile all the rest of the world, gray as it is, is chugging right along.

The problem here is you say you are successful because you have drilled down and drink deep of the freshest and clearest of the happiness water and you smile refreshed. You have not only completed a task, and a worthy one, that task offers a very satisfying result.

Ok. A task result, not an impact result.

I say that because when you stand up to move on you have actually compounded your Life issue. You are now refreshed, but farther behind or maybe caught in some unrecognizable place because not only is everything a little, or a lot, gray — its a different gray spot than when you stopped.

I use the metaphor to make a point.

It may sometimes feel like we are going through some version of a daily hell, but most of us do so not standing still because we know moving is really the only way to access some of the true colors available to us in Life or access some of the freshest of fresh water to refresh ourselves.

Underground rivers appear in oasis, in above ground rivers, fountains and waterfalls. You just got to find them without stopping to drill down for them. And you don’t find them by standing still. You find them by not being still.

Look. Most of us are fairly invulnerable to the gray of Life. Aggravating to us, maybe even a little hellish to us, but not that dangerous to our overall existence.

But I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that this is because, well, at least we are not standing still.